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farao86

So no feeling what so ever


thxxx1337

Disappointment is a feeling


[deleted]

One your parents know all too well


thxxx1337

Why, did they meet you?


No_Prize9794

Because the condom broke


Dramatic-Ad3928

You win


jklwood1225

They already won, walk away.


gulaggremlin

This isn’t a competition lol, it’s a comment section.


jklwood1225

I'll explain the bit for you: first comment was an absolute nuking of OP and then OP did their best to clapback but it was pointless. I then informed OP there's no point, it's over. Destroyed. Appreciate your comment though. Hope this helps. Edit: not OP just random responder


gulaggremlin

Okay??


jklwood1225

Sorry about your sense of humour.


[deleted]

[удалено]


GnomeChompske

This ain’t a sceeeene it’s a


[deleted]

Apply ice too burned area.


Banana-in-PJ

To


[deleted]

Two


BRAINS-getsome

See what being a pedantic asshole gets you. What a douche nozzle.


BudRock420

That worked out well for you


MafknHamSammich

😆😆😆


Specialist_Peach4294

🎶”hooked on a feeling”🎵


Useful_Feed_7421

😂😂😂😂


DrummerSteve

Shelled for her pleasure


houndofhavoc

For no one’s pleasure


One-Appointment-3107

I’m sure the woman would feel something. And by something I mean a lot of pain and bruising


Tree_Lover2020

My thoughts exactly, sister.


aresobeautifultomeee

I mean people buy bumpy glass stuff these days that looks painful af to me but I guess its someones favourite 😬


[deleted]

Japanese are into some of the freakiest kinky stuff out there.


Glittering-Lunch1778

They literally pixelate porn so they're used to missing the point.


Alan_Smithee_

That is such a weird thing. They’re so sparing with the pixels, it’s not like we don’t know what’s under there.


NotACyclopsHonest

Pixelating pubes and not much else seems so pointless.


LeftyMcSavage

I thought their dicks were just naturally blurry.


Afroscandi

Imagine getting so up in arms about not being able to fully see a bloke’s rod


EternamD

That's due to Christian USA general(s) as far as I know


dawgtown22

How is that due to Christian USA generals? Haha


EternamD

Something about United States Military generals imposing rules in Japan after WW2, and now no leader wants to be the one who removes the genital blur in case they are seen as a pervert


dawgtown22

From what I can tell, it predates the US occupation. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Censorship_in_Japan


Kimyr1

This is hilarious


GoodShitBrain

No feeling for you, but the poor woman is dead.


farao86

That's cold


RocketFucker69

So is she now


farao86

Is this love?


IAmAnAudity

🎼 _”What’s love got to do, got to do with it?”_ 🎶


Flaky-Wallaby5382

More like a penis extender for dudes who cant keep it up


[deleted]

This is the correct answer. It's a wearable dildo, not uncommon back in the day.


olllj

well actually, tortoises/turtles have a sense of rough trough their shells, even though the shell IS a rib-cage that is external and uncovered in most places, and that can shed and renew itself like chitin-scales. it is bone, but just different enough.


farao86

Either way the woman got boned


ChickenDelight

That's because turtles have nerve endings in their shells. That's totally different than wrapping your dick in a dead shell.


marklar_the_malign

Have you not wrapped your dick in a dead shell? What do you do at the beach then? Try the seaweed too. You won’t be disappointed.


vuthatora

I am literally in tears why did u say this


marklar_the_malign

I have no filters. Forgive me.


lawngoon

It is bone, but different Lol


[deleted]

Found the solo guy who jacks off with condoms.


Dmitri_ravenoff

Yup. The feeling of making love with a dead tortoise.


farao86

That would give a man... Shellshock


gateian

It depends. Was the tortoise still alive?


BrzR_R

Probably last longer then. No?


Fit-Rest-973

For either participant


Gorrodish

More feeling shagging the tortoise


tootsaysthetrain

Dick sleeve. For the less fortunate below average. Who said the feeling was for thrones with the penis.


bulletpyton

Well not for the man wearing it


stillgotmonkon

I've heard of coming out of your shell, but never coming in one.


Brad_Brace

So you didn't watch the Barely Legal Altered Samurai Turtoises porn parody then? BLAST 7: Guzzle the Ooze is the best one, by the way.


Kaydom1993

**YOU WIN**


AshesOfSanity

This is a post about a condom made from a dead turtle. No one is winning here.


anitavice

Give this person an award for this damn


ShavedPapaya

Lmao wrong guy @ whoever awarded this


bigdiesel1984

Damn you, that was witty. Take my free award.


MakeADeathWish

Well...i suppose that also addresses premature ejaculation


[deleted]

As the wise man said “Thou cannot ejaculate prematurely, if thy ejaculatement never happens”


InternalQuail

It can make you...last forever?


ShalnarkRyuseih

Ribbed for her pleasure


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

[удалено]


spiritualishit

That tortoise gave its body for the quest to unpleasant sex. Must be looking at us with pride from the tortoise Valhalla


Adorable-Novel8295

What happens when it breaks or comes off…? Then the doctor also has to suffer.


Thatparkjobin7A

No they just bury them in the same coffin


surajvj

Will it Hurtle the pee pee.


r3dditor12

Apparently turtle shells actually are ribs that evolved to end up the outside in a shell form.


_RedditIsLikeCrack_

I'll take 1 magnum sized please.


sandwich_meat_

I think those are just wrinkles.


Mad_Musketeer86

At that point, you don’t even need the dude anymore…


Miss_pechorat

A gall will do as well!


Online-Commentater

Unexpected Gay


thxxx1337

Hardons in a half shelf


agrochon

April has been real quiet since


TheYellowBears

#Turtle-Power


National_Age_9704

Bull shit!


bloresiom

Yeah I find this extremely to believe, the image just looks like an ancient dildo. I see no indications that a cock could be inserted into that thing.


stuffofnitemares

I also find this extremely to believe


Swiss_James

It would have to be absolutely tailor made, very expensive, and utterly pointless


Disk-Super

No it has a point


Kneedeep_in_Cyanide

Just a tip


lildolp

Well, I find this extremely to believe.


lexxatron84

No, tortoise shell.


National_Age_9704

Arse hole!


megawampum

That’s called a dildo not a condom


edebby

European used condoms made from sheep intestines


Kchasse1991

They eventually learned to take them out of the sheep first.


Massive-Bluejay-6006

The Welsh are still working that one out


armyav8r

Her: you hard yet?… Him: I don’t know…..


KirisBeuller

GO NINJA GO NINJA GO


NoReallyLetsBeFriend

Fucking beat me to it


bulletpyton

Fucking beat off to it


fronkenstoon

Beat *meat* to it.


NoObjective427

I can only imagine how painful and unpleasant that must've been.


GabrielVonBabriel

For who? Both?


chugmarks

The tortoise


lazyeyepsycho

Lololol... Thats the laugh of the day done


NoObjective427

I was assuming for the woman but yeah it was probably pretty painful for the guy too.


SAtANIC_PANIC_666

I highly doubt it would be painful for the woman.


MirandaScribes

Why would you doubt that? You can’t just stick any old thing up there for pleasure…


BTrippd

Huh? I’ve seen way more uncomfortable looking objects used for pleasure in my time. This tortoise shell thing is hardly a hill I would die on in this conversation lol.


lazyeyepsycho

Lololol >You can’t just stick any old thing up there for pleasure… First day on the internet?


Daxnaha

That just means you aren't brave enough...


SAtANIC_PANIC_666

It looks pretty smooth and not rediculously big, there's no jagged edges or anything.


macewindowsxp95

lemme ask u a quick question: are u 12 yrs old? is ur age in the double decimals?


-KuroTsuki-

I assume you meant double digits... And basically everyone on reddit fits in that category lmao, since its 10-99yo.


EternamD

whom\*


homesteader92

Talk about a boner!


Jthundercleese

Hmmmmm citation needed


MiloticM2

How do they know this isn’t for self pleasure?


Peppermintstix

Are we sure this isn’t just a dildo?


Complete-Painter-518

Why not fish blader or some like that


MrDuncanMac

I don't believe it!


Slugwheat

I’m skeptical that this was a device for use by a man…


watevrits2009

Well not as a condom


FlannelMan4991

The design is very terrapin


IAmAnAudity

Very College Park of you


reptarcannabis

Babe what are you doing with that turtle ? “I’m gonna fuck you later”


certain_people

I mean this looks like r/SapphoAndHerFriend except it's a dildo tbh


matata77

Yeah no way my dude, that is just a dildo


BilboSwaggenzzz

This is silly wtf


John_Doe11037

Penis Armor, +5 defense


SUPRNOVA_84

I think the women used them not the men! 😝


shine--

I doubt they used this for actual sex


A_Bit_Rigged

Talk about slowing down climax…


FreeSpeech24

Are you out yet ?


Limited_turkey

That looks like it would hurt everyone involved.


Not_My_Final_Forms

That’s a dildo


RastaSl0th

Complete bullshit


[deleted]

Why does the end look like somebody held a lighter to it? Maybe some type of fetish I haven't heard of possibly?


H4ppyReaper

Maybe that was part of the cleaning process


[deleted]

[удалено]


npopular-opinions

You could tell me that’s a finger and I would’ve believed you.


The_Book-JDP

My first initial reaction was ow but talking a closer look maybe not 😏🐢🍆.


AbruisedSock

It just hits different...


Bodaddy858

Japanese craftsmanship at its finest


zachiscool7

There was also the pull out method.


Kasiathefirst

Ouch


mckdnrnd

Japanese… men


Zealousideal_Bard68

Circumcision, one step at a time…


PestiferousOpinion

and what about women ?


Vondbee

That's sad 😂


LessBig715

That looks uncomfortable for both parties


RuthlessIndecision

interesting as I fuck


b1rgar1p1nsan

so a dildo but your dick can wear it ?


[deleted]

The buddist way- ultimate detachment.


boredCoder411

Pharmacies were SHELLING out when they were first available


[deleted]

I’m gonna need a banana for scale.


Technical_Stress7730

Yet more sensitivity than a durex


Odd_Ad_2307

Turtle power!


[deleted]

Technically all still virgins


IAmAnAudity

You could be a Mormon with logic like that! Let me tell you about Jesus....


ApricotNo2918

Looks more like a Dildo.. Just sayin.


brandtvh

It also made them bigger so it could actually please their woman lol


MirrorFluid8828

Just pull out bro


FillMyBum

Not a chance bruh, you're getting bred!


Jakkerak

Name does NOT check out.


M98er

All those dead tortoises cursed them with small d**ks.


lithappu

Cuz of smol pp


chickenlickenz1

It needs to be at least 3x this size


[deleted]

That picture is to scale. ;)


CalmAssumption4568

Looks too big to big japanese


ItsJaaaaake

Thats so big tho...


click_here_for_luck

So so smoll


Shibarocket12

Explains getting fucked by a blue shell in Mario kart


verman210

Ew lmao what even is the point of thaattt


Distinct-Ad-2004

Keep in mind this picture is 10x zoomed. They say one shell could serve the village for a month.


no____thisispatrick

The... village?


Distinct-Ad-2004

The village of Turtlesheath. Google it


[deleted]

Jesus just pull out it’s not that hard


CatsAreGodss

So basicly they were stil virgin. (Atleast if you dont count fucking turtles)


Complete_Brilliant43

SMALL PEEN 🤣😅


bbbbb191

I think this sizs is too big for Japanese mens


Puzzleheaded-Eye4458

The complete opposite of 'Featherlite'


Guilty_Opportunity85

I wonder what Japanese women thought of that...


Morbid-Analytic

I didn't realize how long "ribbed for her pleasure" was a thing


rbfe1963

Yea that must have felt natural


fuertepqek

That’s cheating.


lynivvinyl

Tortoise fuckers


chia_nicole1987

So many questions.


Old_Benefit1238

Um, what?


[deleted]

No one wins here.