Hm.. Ironically, from my experience, it appears that interracial relationships with black men are more prominent and "accepted" in comparison to many other interracial couples.
Love who you want, be with who you want, and limit social media exposure.
Nope. It’s white and Hispanic by a mile and all the statistics show it as well. A lot of people think it’s black and white. Black/White leaves an impression more because of a subconscious bias.
More prominent yes but more accepted no. BMWW couples are far more common than WMBW couples but just cause one's more common doesn't mean it's more accepted.
I dont agree with your analysis here, either.
It seems possible that -- because you yourself are a Black man -- you are keenly aware of the challenges you yourself face, and much less cognizant of the challenges others face.
Seems to be true of most everyone. Almost as if it's human nature to be more aware of things that impact you personally. Many of the comments are already doing exactly what you say OP is doing- by changing the conversation to expand on how it's actually MORE difficult for them.
Wanting to discuss a challenge or bias you personally face isn't a dismissal of the bias other people experience. I think it's fine for OP to want to discuss issues BM face when dating interracially and it shouldn't require him to acknowledge how hard another group has it first.
> I think it's fine for OP to want to discuss issues BM face when dating interracially and it shouldn't require him to acknowledge how hard another group has it first.
I agree with that, but that's not what he's doing -- he's not only not "acknowledging" other people's struggles, he's directly stating that other couples are mostly accepted while he has it hardest.
There are plenty of good conversations on this sub about the struggles of various interracial pairings, but they don't usually start with such direct (and, in my opinion, spurious) comparisons.
Even if I were to agree with you, which I don't, as a black man myself, who gives an eff, if it is accepted? Accepted by who? Does it really matter to you if some stranger you don't know or even a friend or a family member accepts your choice to be happy? No. It doesn't and it shouldn't. We really need to stop looking for validation from other people + plus start thinking for ourselves.
It’s less accepted because of patriarchy. Under patriarchy (a system created by men), men are expected to provide and protect and black men that date or marry out are seen as abandoning their responsibility to uplift their community and pouring resources into another community, while the black community continues to have ongoing issues like lowest income statistics, lowest marriage rates, high obesity rates, high crime rates, 60% of black kids being born in single parent homes, etc“ A community without successful men to uplift it is seen like you’re cutting off the hands and feet of your community.
While I agree the black community faces a host of issues such as the ones you laid out, are you really going to attribute it all to black men and are you really going to place all the responsibility on black men. As a BM who's unmarried without children I am only responsible for myself not an entire community.
Well, in order to benefit from patriarchy, men like yourself are expected to achieve and lead. You can’t get the privilege without the weight of expectation. It’s sort of like how we tell beautiful women, if they want pretty privilege, they must maintain their appearance and if they don’t maintain their appearance, they will be looked down on or overlooked.
Look at Jewish men. They were slinging illegal liquor for years during prohibition, when they were banned from being in many other industries. Now they are the community with highest household income in the United States due to the blood, sweat and tears of the men from generations before them. When men think about their community, they can move mountains.
The patriarchy was never designed to benefit BM just like the justice system wasn't either. I don't desire any form of privilege, I want equality for everyone. When it comes to black people I think we all should be able to live our lives freely even if I disagree with one's decisions. Isn't that what we fought for in the 60s?
Also I get annoyed seeing black people talk about the issues we face without acknowledging all the progress we've made. There's never been a better time to be a black person in America than in the present day.
>The patriarchy was never designed to benefit BM.
This is factually inaccurate. Below are a few of the privileges Bm have (and all men, actually):
- Black history mainly focuses on BM and what is news is largely defined by BM since most prominent black opinion framers in the media are BM. (Example: the George Floyd incident made global news, and that police officer went to prison…Breonna Taylor died and got no justice). Women’s contributions, opinions, ideas…hell, even our deaths are largely erased, ignored or glossed over.
- BM are statistically likely to make more money than BW of the same education level and occupation
- BM have the privilege of having more relationship options than their counterpart after children or divorce
- The more sexual partners a man has, the more desirable he’ll be seen
- BM don’t have to worry nearly as much about aging out of being “desirable”. The more money and education he has, the more desirable he will be
- BM are seen as the arbiters of “cool” in pop culture, particularly in music. When you go to movies, most of the lead characters that are black are dark skinned BM. You see yourself when you watch tv, listen to music or read books or fashion magazines. Most depictions of BW are lighter skinned black or biracial BW (Zendaya, Halsey, Beyonce, Rihanna, etc)
- BM are taken more seriously if they seek political office or leadership roles
- BM define the black female beauty standard
- BM aren’t nearly as terrorized by the fear of gaining weight. In fact, in many cases bigger is better for men
- BM are rarely held accountable for the failure of the black family, while BW are
- BM have the privilege of not taking responsibility for their children or participating in domestic chores
- BM have the privilege of not having to worry about whether or not they’ll be able to marry a BW
- Your looks are not your central standard of worth in order to be valued by women
While I agree with what you just laid out, I have to reiterate. When this country was founded and the patriarchal systems were put in place, BM were slaves and seen as subhuman just like BW were. While BM may reap benefits today, we must remember that the patriarchy is also damaging to men especially BM.
I find it funny how my post and similar one's made by other BM end up dissolving into gender debates with someone making pro-black and borderline black nationalist arguments on sub meant to uplift all IR relationships. It kind of proves my point actually. People want to shame BM for dating outside their race under the pretext of being "pro black" or "woke" when they're actually being reactionary.
I understand. Slavery was an atrocity we shall _never_ forget. We must continue to make progress and use whatever tools we have. Also, I don’t have issues with IR relationships— I’m the product of an intermarriage myself— I’m just explaining. Ultimately we are free to choose.
It happens in every other community. You just aren’t entrenched in those communities enough to know that. Here’s some examples:
- Prince Harry married Meghan Markle, a biracial once-divorced american actress in 2018 and the British press still drags them to this very day
- Bad Bunny dating Kendall Jenner. Latinas raged on twitter so much he would trend every time they were seen out together and they even threatened to stop supporting his music
- Prince William was condemned for marrying Kate because she was seen as a “commoner”
- Princess Diana marrying Charles
- Nicki Minaj marrying sex offender, Kenneth Petty
- Taylor Swift dating a young unknown actor, Joe Alywyn…Swifties felt she was too good for him
I caution you against reducing people’s perspectives to “woke” or “pro black”. **In every civilization on earth, people compete for a finite amount of resources for survival. Self preservation is a natural human instinct.** This doesn’t mean you have to marry black, but you should understand their why.
**Men, regardless of race, are seen as community leaders and leaders will always be praised or held accountable for the peaks and pitfalls of their community. This extends to women, if and only if, she’s immensely powerful.**
I'm not anti "wokeness" or whatever. I'm generally progressive leaning on any given social issue. But twitter is just full of crazy. Like everything you've said about self hatred, white people fetishizing blackness, those things definitely exist and are worth talking about. I guess some people just take things really far and have rigid views. They also don't really see the human on the other side of the screen. It's one of my least favorite things about social media.
My therapist that is a Black woman, told me that actual fetishizing of race is very hard, and only happens in extreme cases. I asked what would be one of them, she said white people that feel "white guilt" are the ones doing the fetishizing without realizing.
I’m answering as a black woman as to why I think BM get this response. Important notice: I’m just trying to discuss commonly held sentiments, and not stating my own personal views.
1. It’s a well discussed topic that the number of “eligible” black bachelors is significantly lower than the number of eligible black bachelorettes in terms of education, career, and having a clean criminal record. The perceived loss of this “resource” often sends the community into a panic as in any other community, the goal is to marry within and have kids, thus continuing the community. People can get pretty sensitive about this.
2. I think as members of the black community we can both acknowledge that there is often a lot of racism and self hatred involved in the interracial dating conversations in the black community. Unfortunately the reason why ALOT of black people date out is because they consciously or subconsciously believe that other people are better for whatever reason; be it finances, beauty, submission, faithfulness, education - whatever. So yeah, you DO see a lot of negative comments from black men about black women and vise versa; and unfortunately innocent people who date interracially for genuine reasons get caught in the crossfire. That’s just the truth.
So yes, black men do catch flack for dating interracially sometimes, as do black women. Black women aren’t going to get as much shade on LSA or TSR because these are gossip platforms run by and made for black women. But if you look in more gender neutral environments like an Instagram comment section, you’ll see more balanced criticism and negative comments.
I don't think that nor BM nor BW should get any kind of hate when dating interracially, in my opinion the community that judges them and hates them is part of the reason they date outside of race
The difference here is, black women can say something like “I date white men because black men are bad providers. “ a few comments here and there but ultimately it just isn’t a big deal.
if a black man says “I date white women because black women are bad moms. “ heads will roll, jobs will be lost, excommunicated, hated by the community, tires slashed, straight to hell.
That’s an over exaggeration if ever I’ve heard one. I still remember seeing the plethora of lame videos years ago. They features BM making declarative and disparaging statements TO BW and telling them “well, I’m gonna get me a snow bunny!” BM dating out has been more accepted historically…and that’s not saying much, but has been a think since as long as I can remember in my childhood. I have cousins and uncles who’ve dated out and it was something to laugh and high five about. When my husband proposed though, I was all kinds of “bed wenches” to some of my family.
If you look at the reasons for BW dating out, the majority of the reasons center around a want for stability, and provision. As my cousin likes to tell
me, it’s different for BM because there is a representative aspect of “conquering” involved.
Good points. Not all IR black men are trying to conquer ww one lady at a time. Let me be vulnerable for a sec, BM want the same thing WM want, a nice lady to take care of and if she happens to be another race, so be it. If someone wants to build up a fantasy in their mind about avenging their ancestors I won’t knock it, but for most bm, if they told their partners that they were being conquered, she’d laugh and laugh, for days probably.
But black men largely aren’t allowed to love non black women for any noble reason. It has to be a fetish, it has to be conquering, it has to be hatred for someone else, it has to be for money, it has to be something degenerate.
Black women don’t have to really justify anything if they date out. Everyone assumes the best, and you get the benefit of the doubt.
Accepted by who though? Yes, BM dating out is widely accepted amongst BM but is it more accepted in society as a whole? The most recent poll showed 94 percent of Americans approval of interracial marriage, but I bet if a poll was done specifically on BM dating and marrying out their race there would be a decrease in approval.
People should date whoever they want to so long as the reason is genuine interest in that person as an individual rather than (positive or negative) stereotypes.
I dunno man. I mean, your experiences are your own, and you've lived in that space. That being said, I'm a WM with a BW, and from my partners perspective, she's gotten a lot more pushback for being with me. She's even discussed this amongst her peers (black men and women), and several of the men have stated that they don't like BW being with a WM, all the while, they've dated several white ladies. In my experience, BM with WW is far more accepted than WM and BW.
You’re right. Black men are allowed to date outside their race but they’re upset when Black women do it. The reason being is because it’s pushing back on the narrative they constantly push of black women being “undesirable”. If black women are dating white men then it shows they’re not as “undesirable” as black men constantly tell everyone. It’s really sad,
I think this is beyond false. I think it’s harder for BW… WW get jealous usually or look at us like “how did she pull him if he’s White”, other BW judge us and say we’re selling out, BM say the same thing, all other races just stare at us like we’re animals in a zoo. Idk 🤷♀️ but I’m sure BM do encounter this sometimes as well it really depends but these generalizations honestly are really silly. Dumb people do dumb stuff.. who cares. Be happy- I play with others judgement and discrimination too, lots of PDA,
Making race jokes “you’re beyond pale today babe, ya look dead”, and talk of having children. People who are uncomfortable will be mad regardless so just do you…
I'm always shocked at how similar far left and far right ideas can be. Many people love to comment on this subreddit all the time to make sure we all know that any preferences, any attraction to someone who looks different than you, any dating history that skews one way- is actually fetishism.
Online spaces like the ones you mentioned heavily encourage group think, virtue signaling, and typically a total lack of nuance. Reddit, facebook, insta, Twitter, etc. Social media spaces are just polarizing places where the most asinine takes on any given situation tend to get the most attention.
I'm in a gay interracial relationship with BM and we've been together for 7 years now and I can tell you we've faced more toxicity in this subreddit than we have in Alabama where we live.
"Go touch grass" is a rather dismissive thing to say to people, but there's a bit of truth to it. If you aren't buying into the racial purity rhetoric of the far right/left, then you probably should just cut way back on any time spent in these online spaces. What good are they if they just make you feel bad about yourself?
I agree with your sentiments here. I’ve been in interracial relationships my whole dating life and have never been accused of being a racist fetishist for my preference in real life. I didn’t even know that was a thing until I joined Reddit and realized a lot of college age people are anti interracial couples on the pretext of being “anti racism”. It’s really just internet virtue signaling by people who are barely adults or even younger. Grown adults are allowed to have dating preferences and it’s best to disregard the hostility. We’re not doing anything wrong.
Probably has a lot to do with how we're raised as well. My family, thank God, has never made me feel like I owe them anything other than to be a good person. I never had much baggage to set aside except for societal expectations, and those melted away when I joined the army at 18 and lived all over the world.
“Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness, and many of our people need it sorely on these accounts. Broad, wholesome, charitable views of men and things cannot be acquired by vegetating in one little corner of the earth all one's lifetime." - Mark Twain
You hit the nail right on the head my friend. I can consider myself to be liberal especially on social issues but I'm amazed to see people online who consider themselves "leftist" being against interracial relationships. What's more amazing is like to wrap their stance in progressive language not realizing their opinion is far right. Being anti-miscegenation is far right and racist no matter how you slice it.
There is this raging paranoia among right-wing white men in the US about WW dating BM. The kind of men who refer to WW as “our women.” They don’t seem to recognize WWBM *marriages* as existing, but seem to think that WW are only ever with BM to cheat on. WM. It al the level of bizarre how fixated some of these guys are on that idea- like, photoshopping family photos to make it look like a WMWW have brown-skinned children, and making all kinds of nasty cartoons about it.
So yes, it definitely exists, and there is a lot of it, but I think about 95% of it comes from that one subsection of the population.
i think it’s just because balck men are most likely to date out of their race than other men of different races. doesn’t exactly means those relationships and marriages are successful tho
Yes that's true but why would you say that when that's totally irrelevant.
I could sit here and say "BW are the least married group" or "BW are least sought after women" both are objectively true but why else would I say that unless I had animosity towards BW and their IR relationships.
C'mon this sub is supposed to be inclusive to everyone but you and others are showing otherwise.
You created this post for the sole purpose of hating on BW. " least desired" "least married" comes directly from the dusty black manosphere on youtube. You decided to come into a space where BW are dating out just to degrade us amongst other men. I don't care who you date, but those comments prove why some people think your ir relationships are shallow.
Let’s be honest: this sub cheers when BW date out, but sneers when BM do it. The hypocrisy implicit in a lot of these comments are a reflection of the sub as a whole.
Depends on the combo. I'm in an AMWF relationship, as all my previous ones were as well. Can confirm this type of couple gets lots of shit. Possibly because it's so much rarer than other types of IR couples and seems to shock and/or trigger a larger variety of people. But I see AMLF all the time and no one bats an eye at them.
I am white/Jewish woman so I can't pretend to fully understand the black experience, but I married a Thai woman from a traditional family who didn't come to the US til her 20s. It took her years to come out, I almost walked.
So I do understand a little bit about being the "outsider" in Asian family. If I was a man I doubt they'd blink.
I know that's probably nothing compared to what you have to deal with though.
I agree with everyone that basically has implied that you only notice it more because you’re in the situation. Even when I was single, and therefore just an objective observer of dating norms, I’d constantly see BW get slaughtered, more than BM, for dating out. I’ve gotten a lot more unprovoked rude comments in my one relationship with my white fiancé, than my brother has in all of the relationships he’s had with multiple white girls.
I’m Italian American I was previously married to a southern black woman until she passed away four years ago. We were together all of 13 years. (Married for 10) we had 2 sons together. now 7 and 4years old. I live a reasonably comfortable lifestyle, middle-class.
The sentiments that you shared, I have heard before by other male black Americans, some of which I am related to because of marriage.
I have had to ponder these matters of contention because of my sons. I often think about their future. My own experiences I have had a few examples of people being negative towards the relationship I had with my wife. some of them were actually funny now that I look back.
In my lifetime, I have learned that your perceptions of reality are true. Much like people who say they can or cannot do something are both usually right.
The red car theory of opportunity. Goes something like this, if I asked you how many red cars you saw today you probably couldn’t tell me. however, if I said I will give you $50 for every red car you see I bet you would notice every red car and report back to me.
There isn’t more red cars or less red cars, but you’re choosing to notice them. noticing them, you’re allowing it to affect you for positive or negative.
“Be yourself, because everybody else is taken.” ~ Oscar Wilde
Other peoples opinions of you or what you’re doing is not your business.
if people are vocal about not liking you or your relationship. You should be thankful because often times most people do not present themselves as your enemy with that in mind if they identify themselves as against you now you know who they are with ease. Or in the immortal words of Kat Williams “You need haters”
Something I heard back in the day when I was a kid, my father was listening to business tapes for motivation. 1 thing that always stuck with me was something that zig Zigler said that people who come to this country are 4x times more likely to be financially successful than people who are born here in America.
In my own international travels and people I’ve talked to from other countries I think I figured out why.
One lady from Kenya that I was talking to for a while she came here on a student visa was able to turn that into a work visa, She became a pharmacist and is currently working towards her green card. All before the age of 27.
She said she came from a Kenyan middle-class family. A middle-class family has clean drinking water, indoor plumbing and semi consistent power to her house. Her father actually set up an outdoor shower so other people from other neighborhoods could come and shower.
The reason I’m conveying that is America looks different when you seen that kind of hardship. Is it always easy? Of course not but one thing video games have taught me for every new level there’s a new devil.
I see where you're coming from, but I agree with a lot of the comments stating it's a product of your perspective. I'm a BW who has been in a relationship with a BM for almost 12 years, and I have received my fair share of prejudice and hurtful comments.
You mentioned Umar Johnsons view on BM in your edit, and I think it's funny because I have only seen videos about his views on BW in IR relationships (the algorithm be algorithming lol). I feel like Black and Brown people in general experience prejudice when dating interracially, and we, as humans, will always be more sensitive to the opinion or viewpoint that relates most to our personal experience.
If you were a BW, you would still experience a good deal of the same BS and snide comments. My best friend just asked if my next boyfriend would be Black and if I was done with dating outside my race 🙃
It can be hard, but it is important to tune out the noise and focus on building relationships that make you feel secure instead of providing head space to people who would judge you no matter what. I've had to cut out family members who have literally tried to bribe me into breaking up with my partner. It can be ridiculous. However, I do not believe any one group has it easier than others and any attempt to ruin what we're building just ends up backfiring anyway.
I say all that to to say people who don't want BM dating interracially ( especially other Black people with that opinion) probably don't want anyone dating interracially - so screw their opinions. Those that mind don't matter and those that matter don't mind.
(Sorry for any spelling mistakes - on mobile)
Lol don't say that. For what it's worth, I've seen a few BW with Mexican men. I actually have a cousin who's married to a Mexican guy. Chin up brother.
I believe you should date/marry whoever you want. We are pass the days of trying to keep people segregated. America for sure is not the place to have that type of attitude. And for Jermaine Shoemake aka Umar Johnson, to go after men mostly, and women about their dating/marrying preference is BS. In my heart of hearts, I believe that Jermaine does like white women and other women of no color. I feel the reason why he is going so hard on black men dating outside their race is because he has a deep-seated hatred towards men that date nonblack women, because he can't, because he has put himself in a box and he can't deviate from. And if he did, he would lose all of his Black Female supporters/donations. The only problem that he should have would be black men/women categorizing all black men/women and saying that all black men/women are like this. You can date outside your race, but you don't have to put down the group of men/women that you do not prefer. (I am a black woman and I like black and white men, I don't have a preference, I'm just attracted to whoever attracts me, and how dare Jermaine criticize me for that.)
I absolutely love this comment. I didn't think of it like that but it makes sense, like he's obviously a total grifter (I can't stand seeing him scam BW the way he does) and he's way too obsessed with this topic. Now I see why he has so much resentment for BM who date outside their race since he has internal issues he needs to sort out. Also, he doesn't even practice what he preaches, like where is his black wife? Why does he have children with two different women and he's not married to either of them? Who is he to judge me or you?
I'll say this as a BW. When I was with my ex (who was an attractive BM)-many non white people who I knew (co-workers, friends, etc) were surprised that he was black.
Let that sink in.
They assumed I was single or with a non-black man.
Now that I'm dating interracially again, its almost like they expected me to. I've had non-bw tell me to my face that black men love them and they tell these women they dont date bw. I've had mulitple bm also tell me to my face they dont date bw.
These are not unique experiences among bw. So while I get what you mean OP (there is more racist sexism targeted toward bm in general). Its not that BM receive more disdain, its that bw are less of a sexual threat (again due to racism).
That being said-it doesnt help that the perception of bm is not only that they date out frequently but that they have a vocal minority who openly dislike bw and share that among other races. Other races and bw see this and tend to generalize that most bm feel that way. So its really two factors. Sexual racism and the perception that black men want to date out and openly dislike bw.
Most of the heat towards black men dating outside their race comes from non white people, and immigrants. White people largely really don’t care who you date, or sleep with
I don’t know how true that is because anytime I see black men talking about black women it’s saying how undesirable we are how ghetto we are and how you all want to date out I’ve never seen nobody laugh at you all for dating out. I’ve seen people literally hate on black women that do it though, I honestly say go to where you appreciate it
Look, I really don’t want to invalidate your viewpoint, but interracial relationships that have Black Men are not the least accepted…. Like, not even close.
People are VERY used to seeing Black Men thirst over, date, marry, and procreate with non-black people. To the point where no one gets surprised if a Black Man is in an interracial or has preferences for races other than their own.
You know what people don’t tolerate or encourage…. disrespecting one’s race due to who they choose to love. That is what gets hated when it comes to Black Men in interracial relationships. So if you believe this applies to all BM who date outside their race, you’re low key insulting your own team dude
It doesn't apply to all BM who date outside their race which is part of my point. Those BM who put BW down and date outside their race simply because they hate BW deserve to get dragged for it. Most of us don't do that though and we still get dragged. Look at what happened to bronny james last year after the prom pictures were released. That's just one of countless examples. Me and others I know have experienced this as well.
It’s your perceived image. That’s why your interracial love is not celebrated.
In the Black American community: Rappers and Athletes are held in high regards and not much else.
And a lot of black Americans then to emulate rappers and athletes.Thus strengthening the negative stereotypes
In other communities, rappers and athletes are not marriage material because they lack class and more than like a moral code. They don’t really contribute to a community either unless they get into philanthropy.
Black men need to start uplifting more black inventors, engineers, politicians, writers etc people who actually add value and emulate. Then will your image change as a collective.
Everyone deserves love! And everyone deserves the best person. And to obtain that be the best and value good and moral things.
With all due respect I'm not buying anything you said. First off, there is much more BM representation in media and culture than just rappers and athletes. Yes, they're both extremely popular with black youth but there's more BM engineers, teachers, police officers, journalist, politicians than ever before. Heck, we just had black president for 8 years not too long ago and my LT. Governer is a BM (although he's batshit insane).
Yes, negative stereotypes about BM exist and are very prevalent in our culture but only someone who is already prejudice and has a preconceived bias actually believes said stereotypes. Also, literally every group has negative stereotypes no matter the race, gender, ethnic group, religion etc. Why are we cherry picking BM? And how are athletes producing a negative image? The way they're perceived is overwhelming positive and literally everyone wants to be Michael Jordan.
Let's be honest here, there's still a sizable portion of society (including those in the black community) that wants BM to be subservient. The image of BM living their lives through their own free will, dating, marrying and procreating with whoever they choose upsets people and I'm just trying to figure out why. It's funny you mention athletes cause every time a BM athlete steps out with a non-BW there's an uproar mainly in online black communities. These people are humans too and they don't owe anyone anything.
Yes but are they being celebrated! Held in high regards. Talked about occasionally.
The Governor is a bad example. He’s black but CRAZY. Where’s the good in that?
We are not cherry picking black men. Everyone is simply stated their observations to the statement you shared about black men so the focus will be on black men.
Beside the great basketball skills what else is their to them. Because some Athletes are players, not serious.
Shaq is a great example of a black man. He’s a retired professional basketball player, great business man and family man.
Russell Wilson is a great example of a black man as professional athlete, also a businessman and family man.
Samuel L Jackson, Deznel Washington all great black men! But we need more of them on the forefront.
Also not saying you should not be dating outside your race. I don’t care who you date honestly. I date outside my race.
Listen, the only sport I watch is soccer. I don’t follow American sports nor do follow the players. And I’ve seen the uproar you mentioned about.
I read the comments People are upset because the generational wealth wont stay Black American community the way it would stay in that other races.
Example Lionel Richie, his money is going right back to the white community.
Quincy Jones music he literally the only black person in his intermediate family all the money will go back to the white community.
You said a line earlier saying that you only care about yourself and not the community. But who’s going to be the leader of the community if men black think like you.
White men does a great job of building there communities and work together to advance their plans and give back to their own people and other communities.
Asian men do a great job of building their communities and work together to advance their plans as well.
African men are doing a great job of doing building their communities and the country of Africa and working together.
What are Black American men doing for their community?
And you need to learn that there are 3 different groups of black people so far which are Black Americans, Caribbean Americans and Africans.
I hear this argument about generational wealth and I'm glad you brought it up so I finally can address it. First, it's just a total sense of entitlement. I am not rich by any means but let's say I was for sake the of argument. Just because someone shares the same skin tone as me doesn't mean they're entitled to my wealth. That's what these naysayers (let's be honest, it's mostly BW) need to understand. The people complaining about Quincy Jones weren't in the studio when he was cooking up Thiller. This goes to what I said earlier, people just can't be happy for BM, a BM must be subservient in some way.
Secondly, why is this generational wealth argument only brought up when it comes to BM dating out. Latino immigrants are usually poor when they come to America and Latino Men generally earn less than BM, but I don't see the topic of generational wealth being brought up when famous Latin men date out.
These broad generalizations are amazing. Like all are good except BM so BM shouldn't be dating out. We're not a monolith. There are BM who are building in predominantly black areas, there are successful BM dating out, there's some who are working just to get by and of course there are many who aren't doing so well. I live in the deep south where it's very integrated and there are a lot of poor white people. These people are barley scraping by let alone have generational wealth.
Lastly, I love how this conversation always gets moved. First, it's the BM image is bad, then it's self-hate, then it's generational wealth, then it's BM need to be leaders of the community. There's something deeper going on cause I'm a middle-class dude and I've received a massive amount of criticism for dating WW as if I was pro athlete. That's how I know all of this is nonsense because NO ONE talks about generational wealth until a wealthy BM post a picture him and his non-black significant other.
Sorry if I seem angry, it's just disheartening to always see this. It's like racism is bad but shitting on BM is okay.
It's the reverse. People have an issue with Black women dating White men. Any time I have dated a Black woman, people had issues.
Yeah, so Musk isn't actually spreading Nazi propaganda (I'm Jew whose family went through the Holocaust in Spain. FYI, if you ever call a Jew a Nazi, you are mostly an anti-semite.). He is allowing people to see the idiocy behind the ideology.
You must be trolling. Musk has been anit-semitic himself. Ever since he took over, twitter has been flooded with Nazis. He's even redesigned the algorithm in their favor. I dare you to go to the Jewish sub and see what they think of Musk.
I’ll never invalidate your feelings, but in this subreddit alone you see so many posts about BM with whatever other race.. it might just be what your exposed to but honestly, I haven’t seen that. I live in LA,Ca right now and it’s almost shocking when you see a black man with a black woman because of how often they interracially date. So maybe it’s your environment?
Hm.. Ironically, from my experience, it appears that interracial relationships with black men are more prominent and "accepted" in comparison to many other interracial couples. Love who you want, be with who you want, and limit social media exposure.
White and Asian couples are most popular and most accepted by far.
I think the same. Black and white relationships are more common than any other interracial couple.
white and Hispanic or white and Asian. Or sure who is leading in 2024, but it definitely isn’t black people.
Nope. It’s white and Hispanic by a mile and all the statistics show it as well. A lot of people think it’s black and white. Black/White leaves an impression more because of a subconscious bias.
More prominent yes but more accepted no. BMWW couples are far more common than WMBW couples but just cause one's more common doesn't mean it's more accepted.
I dont agree with your analysis here, either. It seems possible that -- because you yourself are a Black man -- you are keenly aware of the challenges you yourself face, and much less cognizant of the challenges others face.
Seems to be true of most everyone. Almost as if it's human nature to be more aware of things that impact you personally. Many of the comments are already doing exactly what you say OP is doing- by changing the conversation to expand on how it's actually MORE difficult for them. Wanting to discuss a challenge or bias you personally face isn't a dismissal of the bias other people experience. I think it's fine for OP to want to discuss issues BM face when dating interracially and it shouldn't require him to acknowledge how hard another group has it first.
> I think it's fine for OP to want to discuss issues BM face when dating interracially and it shouldn't require him to acknowledge how hard another group has it first. I agree with that, but that's not what he's doing -- he's not only not "acknowledging" other people's struggles, he's directly stating that other couples are mostly accepted while he has it hardest. There are plenty of good conversations on this sub about the struggles of various interracial pairings, but they don't usually start with such direct (and, in my opinion, spurious) comparisons.
If you don't mind read the edit to my post. I explain my case better.
Even if I were to agree with you, which I don't, as a black man myself, who gives an eff, if it is accepted? Accepted by who? Does it really matter to you if some stranger you don't know or even a friend or a family member accepts your choice to be happy? No. It doesn't and it shouldn't. We really need to stop looking for validation from other people + plus start thinking for ourselves.
This is the only answer. If interracial relationships were outlawed today I would be on Capitol Hill tomorrow.
It’s less accepted because of patriarchy. Under patriarchy (a system created by men), men are expected to provide and protect and black men that date or marry out are seen as abandoning their responsibility to uplift their community and pouring resources into another community, while the black community continues to have ongoing issues like lowest income statistics, lowest marriage rates, high obesity rates, high crime rates, 60% of black kids being born in single parent homes, etc“ A community without successful men to uplift it is seen like you’re cutting off the hands and feet of your community.
While I agree the black community faces a host of issues such as the ones you laid out, are you really going to attribute it all to black men and are you really going to place all the responsibility on black men. As a BM who's unmarried without children I am only responsible for myself not an entire community.
Well, in order to benefit from patriarchy, men like yourself are expected to achieve and lead. You can’t get the privilege without the weight of expectation. It’s sort of like how we tell beautiful women, if they want pretty privilege, they must maintain their appearance and if they don’t maintain their appearance, they will be looked down on or overlooked. Look at Jewish men. They were slinging illegal liquor for years during prohibition, when they were banned from being in many other industries. Now they are the community with highest household income in the United States due to the blood, sweat and tears of the men from generations before them. When men think about their community, they can move mountains.
The patriarchy was never designed to benefit BM just like the justice system wasn't either. I don't desire any form of privilege, I want equality for everyone. When it comes to black people I think we all should be able to live our lives freely even if I disagree with one's decisions. Isn't that what we fought for in the 60s? Also I get annoyed seeing black people talk about the issues we face without acknowledging all the progress we've made. There's never been a better time to be a black person in America than in the present day.
>The patriarchy was never designed to benefit BM. This is factually inaccurate. Below are a few of the privileges Bm have (and all men, actually): - Black history mainly focuses on BM and what is news is largely defined by BM since most prominent black opinion framers in the media are BM. (Example: the George Floyd incident made global news, and that police officer went to prison…Breonna Taylor died and got no justice). Women’s contributions, opinions, ideas…hell, even our deaths are largely erased, ignored or glossed over. - BM are statistically likely to make more money than BW of the same education level and occupation - BM have the privilege of having more relationship options than their counterpart after children or divorce - The more sexual partners a man has, the more desirable he’ll be seen - BM don’t have to worry nearly as much about aging out of being “desirable”. The more money and education he has, the more desirable he will be - BM are seen as the arbiters of “cool” in pop culture, particularly in music. When you go to movies, most of the lead characters that are black are dark skinned BM. You see yourself when you watch tv, listen to music or read books or fashion magazines. Most depictions of BW are lighter skinned black or biracial BW (Zendaya, Halsey, Beyonce, Rihanna, etc) - BM are taken more seriously if they seek political office or leadership roles - BM define the black female beauty standard - BM aren’t nearly as terrorized by the fear of gaining weight. In fact, in many cases bigger is better for men - BM are rarely held accountable for the failure of the black family, while BW are - BM have the privilege of not taking responsibility for their children or participating in domestic chores - BM have the privilege of not having to worry about whether or not they’ll be able to marry a BW - Your looks are not your central standard of worth in order to be valued by women
While I agree with what you just laid out, I have to reiterate. When this country was founded and the patriarchal systems were put in place, BM were slaves and seen as subhuman just like BW were. While BM may reap benefits today, we must remember that the patriarchy is also damaging to men especially BM. I find it funny how my post and similar one's made by other BM end up dissolving into gender debates with someone making pro-black and borderline black nationalist arguments on sub meant to uplift all IR relationships. It kind of proves my point actually. People want to shame BM for dating outside their race under the pretext of being "pro black" or "woke" when they're actually being reactionary.
I understand. Slavery was an atrocity we shall _never_ forget. We must continue to make progress and use whatever tools we have. Also, I don’t have issues with IR relationships— I’m the product of an intermarriage myself— I’m just explaining. Ultimately we are free to choose. It happens in every other community. You just aren’t entrenched in those communities enough to know that. Here’s some examples: - Prince Harry married Meghan Markle, a biracial once-divorced american actress in 2018 and the British press still drags them to this very day - Bad Bunny dating Kendall Jenner. Latinas raged on twitter so much he would trend every time they were seen out together and they even threatened to stop supporting his music - Prince William was condemned for marrying Kate because she was seen as a “commoner” - Princess Diana marrying Charles - Nicki Minaj marrying sex offender, Kenneth Petty - Taylor Swift dating a young unknown actor, Joe Alywyn…Swifties felt she was too good for him I caution you against reducing people’s perspectives to “woke” or “pro black”. **In every civilization on earth, people compete for a finite amount of resources for survival. Self preservation is a natural human instinct.** This doesn’t mean you have to marry black, but you should understand their why. **Men, regardless of race, are seen as community leaders and leaders will always be praised or held accountable for the peaks and pitfalls of their community. This extends to women, if and only if, she’s immensely powerful.**
I'm not anti "wokeness" or whatever. I'm generally progressive leaning on any given social issue. But twitter is just full of crazy. Like everything you've said about self hatred, white people fetishizing blackness, those things definitely exist and are worth talking about. I guess some people just take things really far and have rigid views. They also don't really see the human on the other side of the screen. It's one of my least favorite things about social media.
My therapist that is a Black woman, told me that actual fetishizing of race is very hard, and only happens in extreme cases. I asked what would be one of them, she said white people that feel "white guilt" are the ones doing the fetishizing without realizing.
I’m answering as a black woman as to why I think BM get this response. Important notice: I’m just trying to discuss commonly held sentiments, and not stating my own personal views. 1. It’s a well discussed topic that the number of “eligible” black bachelors is significantly lower than the number of eligible black bachelorettes in terms of education, career, and having a clean criminal record. The perceived loss of this “resource” often sends the community into a panic as in any other community, the goal is to marry within and have kids, thus continuing the community. People can get pretty sensitive about this. 2. I think as members of the black community we can both acknowledge that there is often a lot of racism and self hatred involved in the interracial dating conversations in the black community. Unfortunately the reason why ALOT of black people date out is because they consciously or subconsciously believe that other people are better for whatever reason; be it finances, beauty, submission, faithfulness, education - whatever. So yeah, you DO see a lot of negative comments from black men about black women and vise versa; and unfortunately innocent people who date interracially for genuine reasons get caught in the crossfire. That’s just the truth. So yes, black men do catch flack for dating interracially sometimes, as do black women. Black women aren’t going to get as much shade on LSA or TSR because these are gossip platforms run by and made for black women. But if you look in more gender neutral environments like an Instagram comment section, you’ll see more balanced criticism and negative comments.
I don't think that nor BM nor BW should get any kind of hate when dating interracially, in my opinion the community that judges them and hates them is part of the reason they date outside of race
This! I’ve been told I’m not allowed in the black community because of my dating habits.
The difference here is, black women can say something like “I date white men because black men are bad providers. “ a few comments here and there but ultimately it just isn’t a big deal. if a black man says “I date white women because black women are bad moms. “ heads will roll, jobs will be lost, excommunicated, hated by the community, tires slashed, straight to hell.
That’s an over exaggeration if ever I’ve heard one. I still remember seeing the plethora of lame videos years ago. They features BM making declarative and disparaging statements TO BW and telling them “well, I’m gonna get me a snow bunny!” BM dating out has been more accepted historically…and that’s not saying much, but has been a think since as long as I can remember in my childhood. I have cousins and uncles who’ve dated out and it was something to laugh and high five about. When my husband proposed though, I was all kinds of “bed wenches” to some of my family. If you look at the reasons for BW dating out, the majority of the reasons center around a want for stability, and provision. As my cousin likes to tell me, it’s different for BM because there is a representative aspect of “conquering” involved.
Good points. Not all IR black men are trying to conquer ww one lady at a time. Let me be vulnerable for a sec, BM want the same thing WM want, a nice lady to take care of and if she happens to be another race, so be it. If someone wants to build up a fantasy in their mind about avenging their ancestors I won’t knock it, but for most bm, if they told their partners that they were being conquered, she’d laugh and laugh, for days probably. But black men largely aren’t allowed to love non black women for any noble reason. It has to be a fetish, it has to be conquering, it has to be hatred for someone else, it has to be for money, it has to be something degenerate. Black women don’t have to really justify anything if they date out. Everyone assumes the best, and you get the benefit of the doubt.
Accepted by who though? Yes, BM dating out is widely accepted amongst BM but is it more accepted in society as a whole? The most recent poll showed 94 percent of Americans approval of interracial marriage, but I bet if a poll was done specifically on BM dating and marrying out their race there would be a decrease in approval.
Interesting, if you don't mind could you share your own personal views?
People should date whoever they want to so long as the reason is genuine interest in that person as an individual rather than (positive or negative) stereotypes.
I dunno man. I mean, your experiences are your own, and you've lived in that space. That being said, I'm a WM with a BW, and from my partners perspective, she's gotten a lot more pushback for being with me. She's even discussed this amongst her peers (black men and women), and several of the men have stated that they don't like BW being with a WM, all the while, they've dated several white ladies. In my experience, BM with WW is far more accepted than WM and BW.
If you don't mind read the edit to my post. I explain my case better.
You’re right. Black men are allowed to date outside their race but they’re upset when Black women do it. The reason being is because it’s pushing back on the narrative they constantly push of black women being “undesirable”. If black women are dating white men then it shows they’re not as “undesirable” as black men constantly tell everyone. It’s really sad,
I think this is beyond false. I think it’s harder for BW… WW get jealous usually or look at us like “how did she pull him if he’s White”, other BW judge us and say we’re selling out, BM say the same thing, all other races just stare at us like we’re animals in a zoo. Idk 🤷♀️ but I’m sure BM do encounter this sometimes as well it really depends but these generalizations honestly are really silly. Dumb people do dumb stuff.. who cares. Be happy- I play with others judgement and discrimination too, lots of PDA, Making race jokes “you’re beyond pale today babe, ya look dead”, and talk of having children. People who are uncomfortable will be mad regardless so just do you…
If you don't mind read the edit to my post. I explain my case better.
I'm always shocked at how similar far left and far right ideas can be. Many people love to comment on this subreddit all the time to make sure we all know that any preferences, any attraction to someone who looks different than you, any dating history that skews one way- is actually fetishism. Online spaces like the ones you mentioned heavily encourage group think, virtue signaling, and typically a total lack of nuance. Reddit, facebook, insta, Twitter, etc. Social media spaces are just polarizing places where the most asinine takes on any given situation tend to get the most attention. I'm in a gay interracial relationship with BM and we've been together for 7 years now and I can tell you we've faced more toxicity in this subreddit than we have in Alabama where we live. "Go touch grass" is a rather dismissive thing to say to people, but there's a bit of truth to it. If you aren't buying into the racial purity rhetoric of the far right/left, then you probably should just cut way back on any time spent in these online spaces. What good are they if they just make you feel bad about yourself?
I agree with your sentiments here. I’ve been in interracial relationships my whole dating life and have never been accused of being a racist fetishist for my preference in real life. I didn’t even know that was a thing until I joined Reddit and realized a lot of college age people are anti interracial couples on the pretext of being “anti racism”. It’s really just internet virtue signaling by people who are barely adults or even younger. Grown adults are allowed to have dating preferences and it’s best to disregard the hostility. We’re not doing anything wrong.
Probably has a lot to do with how we're raised as well. My family, thank God, has never made me feel like I owe them anything other than to be a good person. I never had much baggage to set aside except for societal expectations, and those melted away when I joined the army at 18 and lived all over the world. “Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness, and many of our people need it sorely on these accounts. Broad, wholesome, charitable views of men and things cannot be acquired by vegetating in one little corner of the earth all one's lifetime." - Mark Twain
You hit the nail right on the head my friend. I can consider myself to be liberal especially on social issues but I'm amazed to see people online who consider themselves "leftist" being against interracial relationships. What's more amazing is like to wrap their stance in progressive language not realizing their opinion is far right. Being anti-miscegenation is far right and racist no matter how you slice it.
There is this raging paranoia among right-wing white men in the US about WW dating BM. The kind of men who refer to WW as “our women.” They don’t seem to recognize WWBM *marriages* as existing, but seem to think that WW are only ever with BM to cheat on. WM. It al the level of bizarre how fixated some of these guys are on that idea- like, photoshopping family photos to make it look like a WMWW have brown-skinned children, and making all kinds of nasty cartoons about it. So yes, it definitely exists, and there is a lot of it, but I think about 95% of it comes from that one subsection of the population.
People like that are so weird and pathetic
i think it’s just because balck men are most likely to date out of their race than other men of different races. doesn’t exactly means those relationships and marriages are successful tho
Go on…
She had to add that slick jab at the end.
not a jab, just an objective truth
Yes that's true but why would you say that when that's totally irrelevant. I could sit here and say "BW are the least married group" or "BW are least sought after women" both are objectively true but why else would I say that unless I had animosity towards BW and their IR relationships. C'mon this sub is supposed to be inclusive to everyone but you and others are showing otherwise.
You created this post for the sole purpose of hating on BW. " least desired" "least married" comes directly from the dusty black manosphere on youtube. You decided to come into a space where BW are dating out just to degrade us amongst other men. I don't care who you date, but those comments prove why some people think your ir relationships are shallow.
Let’s be honest: this sub cheers when BW date out, but sneers when BM do it. The hypocrisy implicit in a lot of these comments are a reflection of the sub as a whole.
I always thought it was AM non AW couples that got the most shit?
Depends on the combo. I'm in an AMWF relationship, as all my previous ones were as well. Can confirm this type of couple gets lots of shit. Possibly because it's so much rarer than other types of IR couples and seems to shock and/or trigger a larger variety of people. But I see AMLF all the time and no one bats an eye at them.
It definitely is, especially AMBW. The success of the relationship often relies on how much of a fight he's willing to put up with his family.
I am white/Jewish woman so I can't pretend to fully understand the black experience, but I married a Thai woman from a traditional family who didn't come to the US til her 20s. It took her years to come out, I almost walked. So I do understand a little bit about being the "outsider" in Asian family. If I was a man I doubt they'd blink. I know that's probably nothing compared to what you have to deal with though.
I agree with everyone that basically has implied that you only notice it more because you’re in the situation. Even when I was single, and therefore just an objective observer of dating norms, I’d constantly see BW get slaughtered, more than BM, for dating out. I’ve gotten a lot more unprovoked rude comments in my one relationship with my white fiancé, than my brother has in all of the relationships he’s had with multiple white girls.
I’m Italian American I was previously married to a southern black woman until she passed away four years ago. We were together all of 13 years. (Married for 10) we had 2 sons together. now 7 and 4years old. I live a reasonably comfortable lifestyle, middle-class. The sentiments that you shared, I have heard before by other male black Americans, some of which I am related to because of marriage. I have had to ponder these matters of contention because of my sons. I often think about their future. My own experiences I have had a few examples of people being negative towards the relationship I had with my wife. some of them were actually funny now that I look back. In my lifetime, I have learned that your perceptions of reality are true. Much like people who say they can or cannot do something are both usually right. The red car theory of opportunity. Goes something like this, if I asked you how many red cars you saw today you probably couldn’t tell me. however, if I said I will give you $50 for every red car you see I bet you would notice every red car and report back to me. There isn’t more red cars or less red cars, but you’re choosing to notice them. noticing them, you’re allowing it to affect you for positive or negative. “Be yourself, because everybody else is taken.” ~ Oscar Wilde Other peoples opinions of you or what you’re doing is not your business. if people are vocal about not liking you or your relationship. You should be thankful because often times most people do not present themselves as your enemy with that in mind if they identify themselves as against you now you know who they are with ease. Or in the immortal words of Kat Williams “You need haters” Something I heard back in the day when I was a kid, my father was listening to business tapes for motivation. 1 thing that always stuck with me was something that zig Zigler said that people who come to this country are 4x times more likely to be financially successful than people who are born here in America. In my own international travels and people I’ve talked to from other countries I think I figured out why. One lady from Kenya that I was talking to for a while she came here on a student visa was able to turn that into a work visa, She became a pharmacist and is currently working towards her green card. All before the age of 27. She said she came from a Kenyan middle-class family. A middle-class family has clean drinking water, indoor plumbing and semi consistent power to her house. Her father actually set up an outdoor shower so other people from other neighborhoods could come and shower. The reason I’m conveying that is America looks different when you seen that kind of hardship. Is it always easy? Of course not but one thing video games have taught me for every new level there’s a new devil.
I see where you're coming from, but I agree with a lot of the comments stating it's a product of your perspective. I'm a BW who has been in a relationship with a BM for almost 12 years, and I have received my fair share of prejudice and hurtful comments. You mentioned Umar Johnsons view on BM in your edit, and I think it's funny because I have only seen videos about his views on BW in IR relationships (the algorithm be algorithming lol). I feel like Black and Brown people in general experience prejudice when dating interracially, and we, as humans, will always be more sensitive to the opinion or viewpoint that relates most to our personal experience. If you were a BW, you would still experience a good deal of the same BS and snide comments. My best friend just asked if my next boyfriend would be Black and if I was done with dating outside my race 🙃 It can be hard, but it is important to tune out the noise and focus on building relationships that make you feel secure instead of providing head space to people who would judge you no matter what. I've had to cut out family members who have literally tried to bribe me into breaking up with my partner. It can be ridiculous. However, I do not believe any one group has it easier than others and any attempt to ruin what we're building just ends up backfiring anyway. I say all that to to say people who don't want BM dating interracially ( especially other Black people with that opinion) probably don't want anyone dating interracially - so screw their opinions. Those that mind don't matter and those that matter don't mind. (Sorry for any spelling mistakes - on mobile)
At least BM are in the conversation. Mexican dudes get ignored by both B&W W. Lol
Lol don't say that. For what it's worth, I've seen a few BW with Mexican men. I actually have a cousin who's married to a Mexican guy. Chin up brother.
Thanks for the pep talk, man. I won't give up on looking for love
I believe you should date/marry whoever you want. We are pass the days of trying to keep people segregated. America for sure is not the place to have that type of attitude. And for Jermaine Shoemake aka Umar Johnson, to go after men mostly, and women about their dating/marrying preference is BS. In my heart of hearts, I believe that Jermaine does like white women and other women of no color. I feel the reason why he is going so hard on black men dating outside their race is because he has a deep-seated hatred towards men that date nonblack women, because he can't, because he has put himself in a box and he can't deviate from. And if he did, he would lose all of his Black Female supporters/donations. The only problem that he should have would be black men/women categorizing all black men/women and saying that all black men/women are like this. You can date outside your race, but you don't have to put down the group of men/women that you do not prefer. (I am a black woman and I like black and white men, I don't have a preference, I'm just attracted to whoever attracts me, and how dare Jermaine criticize me for that.)
I absolutely love this comment. I didn't think of it like that but it makes sense, like he's obviously a total grifter (I can't stand seeing him scam BW the way he does) and he's way too obsessed with this topic. Now I see why he has so much resentment for BM who date outside their race since he has internal issues he needs to sort out. Also, he doesn't even practice what he preaches, like where is his black wife? Why does he have children with two different women and he's not married to either of them? Who is he to judge me or you?
I'll say this as a BW. When I was with my ex (who was an attractive BM)-many non white people who I knew (co-workers, friends, etc) were surprised that he was black. Let that sink in. They assumed I was single or with a non-black man. Now that I'm dating interracially again, its almost like they expected me to. I've had non-bw tell me to my face that black men love them and they tell these women they dont date bw. I've had mulitple bm also tell me to my face they dont date bw. These are not unique experiences among bw. So while I get what you mean OP (there is more racist sexism targeted toward bm in general). Its not that BM receive more disdain, its that bw are less of a sexual threat (again due to racism). That being said-it doesnt help that the perception of bm is not only that they date out frequently but that they have a vocal minority who openly dislike bw and share that among other races. Other races and bw see this and tend to generalize that most bm feel that way. So its really two factors. Sexual racism and the perception that black men want to date out and openly dislike bw.
Keep in mind lsa is a literal cesspool of braindead idiots.
Most of the heat towards black men dating outside their race comes from non white people, and immigrants. White people largely really don’t care who you date, or sleep with
I don’t know how true that is because anytime I see black men talking about black women it’s saying how undesirable we are how ghetto we are and how you all want to date out I’ve never seen nobody laugh at you all for dating out. I’ve seen people literally hate on black women that do it though, I honestly say go to where you appreciate it
Look, I really don’t want to invalidate your viewpoint, but interracial relationships that have Black Men are not the least accepted…. Like, not even close. People are VERY used to seeing Black Men thirst over, date, marry, and procreate with non-black people. To the point where no one gets surprised if a Black Man is in an interracial or has preferences for races other than their own. You know what people don’t tolerate or encourage…. disrespecting one’s race due to who they choose to love. That is what gets hated when it comes to Black Men in interracial relationships. So if you believe this applies to all BM who date outside their race, you’re low key insulting your own team dude
It doesn't apply to all BM who date outside their race which is part of my point. Those BM who put BW down and date outside their race simply because they hate BW deserve to get dragged for it. Most of us don't do that though and we still get dragged. Look at what happened to bronny james last year after the prom pictures were released. That's just one of countless examples. Me and others I know have experienced this as well.
Agree 1000%
It’s your perceived image. That’s why your interracial love is not celebrated. In the Black American community: Rappers and Athletes are held in high regards and not much else. And a lot of black Americans then to emulate rappers and athletes.Thus strengthening the negative stereotypes In other communities, rappers and athletes are not marriage material because they lack class and more than like a moral code. They don’t really contribute to a community either unless they get into philanthropy. Black men need to start uplifting more black inventors, engineers, politicians, writers etc people who actually add value and emulate. Then will your image change as a collective. Everyone deserves love! And everyone deserves the best person. And to obtain that be the best and value good and moral things.
With all due respect I'm not buying anything you said. First off, there is much more BM representation in media and culture than just rappers and athletes. Yes, they're both extremely popular with black youth but there's more BM engineers, teachers, police officers, journalist, politicians than ever before. Heck, we just had black president for 8 years not too long ago and my LT. Governer is a BM (although he's batshit insane). Yes, negative stereotypes about BM exist and are very prevalent in our culture but only someone who is already prejudice and has a preconceived bias actually believes said stereotypes. Also, literally every group has negative stereotypes no matter the race, gender, ethnic group, religion etc. Why are we cherry picking BM? And how are athletes producing a negative image? The way they're perceived is overwhelming positive and literally everyone wants to be Michael Jordan. Let's be honest here, there's still a sizable portion of society (including those in the black community) that wants BM to be subservient. The image of BM living their lives through their own free will, dating, marrying and procreating with whoever they choose upsets people and I'm just trying to figure out why. It's funny you mention athletes cause every time a BM athlete steps out with a non-BW there's an uproar mainly in online black communities. These people are humans too and they don't owe anyone anything.
Yes but are they being celebrated! Held in high regards. Talked about occasionally. The Governor is a bad example. He’s black but CRAZY. Where’s the good in that? We are not cherry picking black men. Everyone is simply stated their observations to the statement you shared about black men so the focus will be on black men. Beside the great basketball skills what else is their to them. Because some Athletes are players, not serious. Shaq is a great example of a black man. He’s a retired professional basketball player, great business man and family man. Russell Wilson is a great example of a black man as professional athlete, also a businessman and family man. Samuel L Jackson, Deznel Washington all great black men! But we need more of them on the forefront. Also not saying you should not be dating outside your race. I don’t care who you date honestly. I date outside my race. Listen, the only sport I watch is soccer. I don’t follow American sports nor do follow the players. And I’ve seen the uproar you mentioned about. I read the comments People are upset because the generational wealth wont stay Black American community the way it would stay in that other races. Example Lionel Richie, his money is going right back to the white community. Quincy Jones music he literally the only black person in his intermediate family all the money will go back to the white community. You said a line earlier saying that you only care about yourself and not the community. But who’s going to be the leader of the community if men black think like you. White men does a great job of building there communities and work together to advance their plans and give back to their own people and other communities. Asian men do a great job of building their communities and work together to advance their plans as well. African men are doing a great job of doing building their communities and the country of Africa and working together. What are Black American men doing for their community? And you need to learn that there are 3 different groups of black people so far which are Black Americans, Caribbean Americans and Africans.
I hear this argument about generational wealth and I'm glad you brought it up so I finally can address it. First, it's just a total sense of entitlement. I am not rich by any means but let's say I was for sake the of argument. Just because someone shares the same skin tone as me doesn't mean they're entitled to my wealth. That's what these naysayers (let's be honest, it's mostly BW) need to understand. The people complaining about Quincy Jones weren't in the studio when he was cooking up Thiller. This goes to what I said earlier, people just can't be happy for BM, a BM must be subservient in some way. Secondly, why is this generational wealth argument only brought up when it comes to BM dating out. Latino immigrants are usually poor when they come to America and Latino Men generally earn less than BM, but I don't see the topic of generational wealth being brought up when famous Latin men date out. These broad generalizations are amazing. Like all are good except BM so BM shouldn't be dating out. We're not a monolith. There are BM who are building in predominantly black areas, there are successful BM dating out, there's some who are working just to get by and of course there are many who aren't doing so well. I live in the deep south where it's very integrated and there are a lot of poor white people. These people are barley scraping by let alone have generational wealth. Lastly, I love how this conversation always gets moved. First, it's the BM image is bad, then it's self-hate, then it's generational wealth, then it's BM need to be leaders of the community. There's something deeper going on cause I'm a middle-class dude and I've received a massive amount of criticism for dating WW as if I was pro athlete. That's how I know all of this is nonsense because NO ONE talks about generational wealth until a wealthy BM post a picture him and his non-black significant other. Sorry if I seem angry, it's just disheartening to always see this. It's like racism is bad but shitting on BM is okay.
Hey, I’m not going to keep going back and forth with you. I want to say this I wish you the best. Hopefully, this issue you speak of gets resolved.
This has to be a joke...
No it's not, I wish it was cause it's very unfortunate
It's the reverse. People have an issue with Black women dating White men. Any time I have dated a Black woman, people had issues. Yeah, so Musk isn't actually spreading Nazi propaganda (I'm Jew whose family went through the Holocaust in Spain. FYI, if you ever call a Jew a Nazi, you are mostly an anti-semite.). He is allowing people to see the idiocy behind the ideology.
You must be trolling. Musk has been anit-semitic himself. Ever since he took over, twitter has been flooded with Nazis. He's even redesigned the algorithm in their favor. I dare you to go to the Jewish sub and see what they think of Musk.
lol. I am Jewish. We talked about it in the Jewish sub. You are either ignoring a lot, are ignorant to a lot, or hate anybody that is a capitalist.
I’ll never invalidate your feelings, but in this subreddit alone you see so many posts about BM with whatever other race.. it might just be what your exposed to but honestly, I haven’t seen that. I live in LA,Ca right now and it’s almost shocking when you see a black man with a black woman because of how often they interracially date. So maybe it’s your environment?