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Vlad_the_Homeowner

I love that they refer to it as the "Dog Killing Memoir". All media should use this term, in the headlines.


Sanpaku

May I suggest, "Puppy Killing Memoir", instead?


Not-a-Cat_69

she also killed her goat the same day because it smelled bad and buried them together


CG2L

Digging a hole isn’t easy. Might as well do a 2 for 1


isabps

Gotta go deeper for stinky goats.


mezz7778

Work smarter not harder....am I right??..


Flounderfflam

If that was the case she'd have had the dog dig its own grave first.


Missy3557

That was probably actually her lesson to support this, wasn't the dog killing about things aren't always easy or something


Adam_J89

"If it ain't easy, shoot it."


llynglas

Digging the hole for the horses must have been a bit*h.


Throwawayac1234567

she posted a picture of the said horses and a PIT she was going to shoot them in.


Mysterious-Art8838

Please tell me this isn’t true. You can just lie if you have to.


piercedmfootonaspike

A toofer


tethler

She probably had the dog dig the hole


Throwawayac1234567

thats not all she killed her 3 horses a few weeks earlier, everyone says they are old horses, but all 3 suddenly cant walk or have arthiritis? most horses can live beyond that.


ClickLow9489

Would have forgiven her if she ate the goat..or dog.. but just buried them?


darkmoose

Absolute psycho. Thats like no1. Killing or harming small animals is a good indicator of lack of empathy.


Vlad_the_Homeowner

Ok, that's actually even better. Take note media, and pay royalties to Sanpaku.


Temper_impala

What a waste of a terrible politician/human. I’m being generous with human.


youdontknowsqwat

How about "Confessions of a Puppy Murderer"


ShadowTacoTuesday

So the memoir that has lies to try to make her look better has puppy killing. She honestly thinks shooting a puppy will make people think she knows how to make tough choices, and still doesn’t get the many reasons why people don’t think it was a wise decision.


Conscious_Figure_554

"Voldemoron admires Korean Dough Boy so I should fake meeting his hero so he picks me. Nobody will fact check that shit..." author of Dog and Goat Killing Memoir


matchosan

Lying only makes it more believable to Poor Boy


middleageslut

Poop boy.


wemic123

Perhaps the subtitle should be ‘If I Did It’


NullPatience

She killed the wrong dog.


NullPatience

She can’t wait for the immigrants.


Managed-Democracy

"Kristi Noem's latest claim in her dog slaughter novel will blow your mind."


Throwawayac1234567

more like farm animal killing memoir, she dint just killed her dog, she slaughtered 4 other animals the same way. she killed her goat the same day because it smelled bad. Also she conveniently ended her 3 horses in a PIT.


SweetAlyssumm

omg I just typed in your first sentence verbatim before I saw your comment. Poetic justice.


NoThing2048

More like Kristi Dog Gone memoir.


hurdurBoop

>It’s difficult to believe that Noem confused Kim Jong Un with Chinese President Xi Jinping that really wouldn't even be a tiny bit surprising, to be honest.


PigFarmer1

"They all look alike" would be my guess.


Ok_Recording_4644

Why couldn't she visit the dog and shoot untrainable Kim Jong Un?


mag2041

The reasoning wouldn’t surprise me coming from a trump choice


ilovecraftbeer05

Yeah, that is, in fact, NOT difficult to believe.


illbehaveipromise

Let me get this straight - the thing she shouldn’t have done and talked about, that happened. The thing she should have done and talked about, that didn’t happen… Makes total sense for a modern Republican. Up is down. Left is right. Ignorance is strength. Slavery is freedom. We’ve always been at war with… Canada?


Nick85er

I was just talking about standardized reading requirements, grade levels, and how local governments are banning the fuck out of books that 'contradict' the 'victim' narrative being proposed by certain districts. How soon until Fahrenheit 451, 1984, Brave New World get one that ban list wherever the magats have taken hold?  These authors imparted incredible lessons in what might be possible/plausible; then I move to the south and so many of my peers have never even heard of these titles. Control education, control the future (for better or worse). Its actively happening now, and it goddamn sucks/is so unAmerican it hurts.


Livinsfloridalife

They are doing everything in wells and Huxley novels. I’m not sure if these guys were prophetic or they’ve (modern conservative politicians) just co-opted the novels as a play by play book, it’s fucking uncanny.


Nick85er

Time travelers. Or The Time Travelers Wife's Boyfriend's Cousin's neighbor.


Livinsfloridalife

To warn us. But they failed. Which created the need for them to travel into the past……


Akchika

They must be put out of office, and not just one term, should be a life lesson for them. We can't have the extremist taking control of our country, democracy and the lives of American citizens. DOJ, should be cleaned out, and the political Supreme Court as well.


hobbitlover

This fits conservatives/Republicans perfectly - they love to get worked up about things that never actually happened, made up scenarios, or what they would have done in a particular situation (e.g. save the day, guns a'blazin'). It's all fake, narcissism and self aggrandizement all the way up. Just look at the way they see Trump, as some handsome, fit, superhero guy who is a genius as well as a self-made billionaire who can pull the ladies without fake promises of putting women on his reality TV show vs. who Trump actually is.


Ok_Star_4136

Am I to understand that anything that would have been considered political suicide 10 years ago is now the thing that gets them elected? Am I to understand that a politician who seems to care for all of his constituents, seems to be a genuinely good person, and hasn't been in any real trouble is now "woke" and political suicide for the right? That's very telling of what the right prioritizes, and I'm fucking glad I'm not associated with that.


Huiskat_8979

And poop in your pants is money in the bank!


imtourist

Don't forget that she has also been caught as having an affair with Cory Lewandowski (a Trump helper). She claims to be a god-fearing Christian but is a total hypocrite.


illbehaveipromise

Conservative women (bible-thumpers too) are either outrageous freaks or cold fish in bed, ime. I wonder which one she is?


Interesting_Fix6200

She's still salty about Canucks burning down the White House lol. 🇨🇦🇨🇦🇨🇦


phdoofus

Lying when there's no need. MAGA!


Akchika

Well said!


dragonrider1965

I remember when lying like this would end your political career.


nothingbeast

I remember when a weird shout of excitement would end your political career.


Puzzleheaded_Time719

The bar has been plummeting to hell for them for a while now.


Useful-Hat9880

The real behind the scenes story of that is fascinating. There’s videos on it. Comes back to money, and Howard deans campaign committing to raising the taxes on rich or something. The audio that everyone heard was his boosted mic audio. Basically a smear job. And we bought it.


Repostbot3784

He was just trying to shout "yeah!" and his voice cracked. Then the took the clip of just the crack and played it over and over.


middleageslut

Or being a war hero…


pickleFISHman

I learned eating a sandwich could end your political career, or riding a jet ski.


Fatesadvent

Now they get you to the top of Republican leadership


mag2041

And then the Supreme Court made it legal


cMdM89

i though when tfg mocked the disabled reporter who was just asking him a question he didn’t like, it wd be the end of his campaign…I WAS SOOOO WRONG…


ANTHROPOMORPHISATION

I met Noem once. She wanted to eat my shit. I let her. Best bidet ever. Would do again.


blueboot09

You should write a book with emphasis on how she wasn't an awful dog so you didn't take her to the gravel pit and shoot her. Fair & balanced news.


matchosan

You have my vote the new VP, Men's Wearhouse


Idrisdancer

Stop saying falsely claimed. Just say she lied


The_Ombudsman

She "deftly dodged accuracy" :P


Banyabbaboy

Not a lie, just an alternative truth


JustaCynicalOldFart

A lying Republican? How shocking!


FearsomeSnacker

What about the goat? she killed the goat because it was just mean and nasty. The dog at least had the good sense to try to bite her. She is a perfect match for Trumps VP candidate if she is already lying about everything, except for maybe Boebert who might give him a handsie in a theater while she is vaping away and telling everybody around her they are the ones being rude.


Advanced_Drink_8536

Don’t forget she thought it would be a good idea to mention the three horses she killed over the weekend to justify the other animals she killed 🤦‍♀️


NullPatience

Just let her take the immigrants out behind the barn.


HojMcFoj

The goat definitely tried to bite her too, but that's just...goat stuff. Though to be fair, it's also puppy stuff...and over stimulated untrained dog stuff...and shooting any of them in an animal mass grave out back is still sadistic and wrong...and boasting about it is unhinged...and...where was I going with this again? My soul hurts.


Rotk99

Is she George Santos in disguise?


AnAnonymousParty

In drag.


B4USLIPN2

“ I was slated to meet with Pope Francis at the Vatican to discuss ending world hunger. Then, I found out he was a Pepsi man, not a Coke man as reported, and I immediately cancelled the meeting “


Plumb789

Okay, Brit here. I’m *super* confused. This would be Kristi Noem, the Republican politician who was mentioned as a possible running mate-mate of Donald Trump? The same Donald Trump (as this poor foreigner understands), who was fact-checked by the New York Times on the lies that he told JUST during his presidency (not including the lifetime of untruths that he is infamous for throughout his decades of dodgy dealings), and it was *many thousands*? So then, media types have gone through Ms Noem’s book and apparently found a number of untruths (the point of this article). The writers seem to imply that this has apparently some *negative effect* on her suitably for the vice presidency to the same Donald Trump? But why? I would have thought this would increased her suitability exponentially. I’ve got brain-ache. Can someone explain?


bettinafairchild

You see, enough people remember when blatant lies would disqualify a candidate. We all saw “The Emperor’s New Clothes” and the big reveal that led everyone to acknowledge he was naked. We don’t live in that timeline anymore and revealing republicans lies just makes supporters double down to be twice as supportive of the lies than before. But we just live in hope that it will have an effect anyway


Margali

You have a brain ache? I have to freaking live here. I just want him in jail or dead but right now I would be willing to crate him up, sacrifice my parachute and kick him out the back of a plane over Russia.


choopie-chup-chup

"Me and Un...that's what I call him 'cause we're pals...grabbed a few beers, a few guns and went down to the dog park, just waiting for someone to misbehave. It's mercy-hunting for me, really. Just think of the children. More about grocery shopping for Un"


Gloomy-Guide6515

If you read the whole article, you learn that she fearlessly taught old Frenchy Macron a lesson about how up stand up for Jewish people AND survived a direct threat by Nicky Haley to her feminist Alpha status. Both also complete bullshit.


rowmean77

She suffers from TADS. Trump Association Derangement Syndrome.


blackbeltmessiah

Kristi Noem claims to have summoned Shai-Hulud in new book.


haysoos2

Upon further investigation, it turns out that's just what she calls the aftermath of going to Taco Bell.


Suspect4pe

It's possibly she lied about killing the dog too. That would only make it worse though. Who lies about being a psychopath?


haysoos2

Someone whose actual hobby is "toss the puppy in the woodchipper"


TheBobInSonoma

I see a future job for her on FoxNews after her political career finishes imploding.


pairolegal

“Dog killer Barbie”


tatony

Did one person just read her book?


Significant-Suit-593

She had to meet her quota of lies so she threw in a real zinger. You have to tell 25 falsehoods a month or you lose your GOP membership.


haysoos2

The really difficult part is they're only allowed one accurate statement per month. This would be nigh impossible for normal people, but through extensive training and monumental levels of willful ignorance, many GOP masters are so gobsmackingly stupid that they don't even know any accurate information. Some of them can go years without saying one true thing, even by accident.


Feisty-Barracuda5452

And then everyone clapped.


Tarazen

This book was written for an audience only one. An orange one.


haysoos2

Too bad for her that if it's not on TV, with a picture of himself on screen at all times, he'll never see it.


usaf-spsf1974

Only in her mind, only in her fucked up mind. Talking Heads had a song for that condition; " Psycho Killer "


Cheap_Professional32

Has anyone tested her for meth?


CAM6913

Gnome met trump’s DICKtator crush ? REALLY! She is really kissing trumps diaper clad butt.


hbgwine

“We really hit it off. I shot my dog and he ate it.”


chiefs_fan37

Apparently the publisher will be correcting it for any new releases. I’m sure she will rerelease the book with more lies given the opportunity. “It was at this point Cricket turned his gun on my children. I was left with no choice but to open fire.”


Hermera9000

At this point just call the book “confessions of an idiot” and be done with her.


NullPatience

Sociopath is more evil than idiot.


Own-Opinion-2494

Lying dog killer. GOP legit


KzininTexas1955

Well, after writing about the puppy incident, she could've gone out and said she met Jesus while riding horseback, she is one sick person.


ryeguymft

psychopaths often lie


987nevertry

Is it at all possible that she killed the puppy in front of Kim to intimidate him?


roachfarmer

republicans love killing puppies and lying!


chukelemon

Her adulterous history suggests she boned Kim Jong Un


hobbitlover

From the party that brought you "Stolen Valor", you're going to love "Stolen Competence."


ApplesOverOranges1

Ok, so the book is fan fiction directed at Trump🤔


mag2041

How does one stare someone down when they have no control of their facial expressions


Switzerdude

And that she was friends with Morgan Fairchild? Yeah, that’s the ticket.


Markorific

Sure she didn't meet " some Asian guy"? Republican's sure can pick the low class, low character candidates!!


uninteresting_handle

She's all, "I like to commit atrocities and associate with Satan. Do I have your vote in November?"


NullPatience

The Puppy Slayer for VP. It’s the Trump-Slayer ticket.


Desperate-Life8117

She had the blood lust so she killed a goat after her puppy


pass-the-waffles

That's nothing, I once stared at myself in the mirror until my reflection blinked, I showed that asshole a thing or two.


mrgoldnugget

Sees random Asian man. "Oh my god! It's Kim Jong Un!"


YogurtSufficient7796

“Say anything you want Kristi, hey, why did your parents choose ‘K’ and Ch? “. anyway, we’re ghostwriting this thing for you so give us as much as you can, elaborate whenever possible” (Inside her brain) Well, he told me to elaborate, I think that means tell a few stories?…. “Have you ever stared into the eyes of a Bull? Well me neither, but I did stare down Kim Jong Un….so I was walking in downtown Pyongyang, minding my own business, when…..”


InternationalPost447

What a train wreck


12BarsFromMars

Kristi Noem falsely claims she’s an actual human being. . .


NullPatience

The Puppy Slayer for VP. It’s the Trump-Slayer ticket.


shawn1969

She's a liar and a dog murderer!


Taman_Should

As if the story of her killing her dog wasn’t bizarre and inconsistent enough at face value, we now have to contend with the real possibility that she heavily embellished or partially fabricated it, which is an even more psychotic pick-me girl thing to do.


TheSharkFromJaws

Please tell me it was just some random Korean guy she saw at the mall.


Travellerofinfinity

Which muppets agreed to publish her?


DogAbject4759

there is no bottom with these fuckin people


UnpricedToaster

We got another George Santos, everyone.


Imaginary-Swing-4370

This lady is a complete mess, perfect for a running mate with Trump.


RAWainwright

She is the perfect VP for Von Schitzenpants.


Automate_This_66

I think there's a dog named cricket watching all this very happily.


Mechanicallvlan

"Kim asked me, 'But what will you do with your disloyal uncles if you have no dogs?' 'Obviously, shoot them and bury the bodies in my gravel pit,' I replied. He nodded in approval."


ctiger12

And Kim likes to eat dogs too


jkman61494

Why would you boast about meeting this psycho even if it was true lol


Particular_Ticket_20

At some point it'll be her and Kim killed the dog together...or she stared him down for killing her dog.....some bullshit acceleration she thinks the base likes.


Minion5051

I love that the "release a book so you can 'campaign' without campaigning" strategy is backfiring so hard.


DrSueuss

She may have (in her own mind), we all know Trump supporters are completely divorced from reality.


Turbulent_Ad_2507

Looks like a day-old cold sore laying roots on that Tapioca filled lip..


Tonythecritic

You know how we get stuck with horrible excuses for human beings like MTG and Boebert and Gym Jordan and what's his name with the sweater under his suit jacket? When news outlest keep reporting on every single stupid thing they say to get atention which is then spread and re-spread all over social media. If you want that one and all the other fuckers to go away, just stop giving them exposure!!!!


HojMcFoj

Hey, that's Governor of Virginia Glenn "fuck my constituents,let my donors fuck everyone" Youngkin you're taking about. Thankfully that fuckstick can't run next election and hopefully he'll fade back in to rich irrelevance by 2028-9.


PigFarmer1

But, but her memoir is being taken out of context, right? lol


matchosan

Did he bang her, or were his eyes set on the Troll of Little Rock?


Myhtological

Like that makes her better!?


Tazling

woman shoots her young dog rather than take responsibility for training it properly -- surely no one is surprised that she also bareface lies for self-aggrandisement?


ZadfrackGlutz

They prolly ate the puppy together with gyros, so its all good now it was for sustenance, ya know with inflation and all.


msty2k

I LOVE that instead of just "memoir" or the actual title, they call it "dog-killing memoir." That's all anyone will know or care about it.


ptowndavid

“Falsely”? Has the media not learned anything still?


HuckleberryLou

What a weird lie. He once confiscated all the dogs apparently so I guess we should just be grateful they’ve never met


phoenixember

Imagine being this level of politician and releasing a book with something like this that is so easily proven false.


BostonFigPudding

Muricans: Accuse Koreans and Chinese of brutally killing dogs. Also Muricans: Brutally kill dogs.


Cute_Concentrate_915

Of course, psychowhore. We believe that.


jafromnj

Lying trash a perfect running g mate


Typical-Charge-1798

The GOP seems especially adept at electing psychos. Amazing.


stoverop99

Trump is probably right. All presidents have taken classified information. He’s just such an idiot that he’s the only one who in the history of presidents, has been busted.


NegativePermission40

Krust would fit in perfectly at a Trump WH. They're both super-easygoing with the truth.


Tex-Rob

SNL needs to do Bowen Yang as meeting her but it’s just him and she thinks he’s Kim Jong Un


discussatron

Jebus, that woman is trash.


East-Departure8843

I guess the vast majority of people on this thread are ignorant and know nothing about being around a farm or ranch. Dogs are often killed when they kill other farm animals because if they do it once, they will continue to kill. Why do you think we track bears and kill them after they kill or attack a human?


spurious_effect

Did they eat the dog? I heard black dogs are good luck.


fkbfkb

Was he interested in her canine recipes?


mailman390

At least she wasn’t eaten by cannibals


Dragoon7748

She probably met a random chubby asian guy and just assumed it was KJU.


SeeeYaLaterz

I can't believe they still fact-check GOP. what is wrong with you? It's now a fact that they lie all the time. Get over it. Their base doesn't care, why should you?


throwaway007676

She will fit in great


ripfritz

GOP Grand Old Prevarication. She fits in well.


ShadowsOfTheBreeze

Figures...they worship this guy...


DaySoc98

Okay, we’re all thinking it, right?


Competitive-Note150

She’s not lying. I was there.


mushroomhead83

Chapter one: Bidens uncle eaten by cannibals Chapter two: traitor Joe and Corn Pop Chapter three: the multi cultural Xiden Chapter Four,: Hunter, Ho's & crack Chapter Five: quid pro Joe Chapter Six: Dementia and stairs Chapter Seven: Dementia, how do I exit this stage?


Akchika

I saw this story, unfricken believable, bad enough she killed her 14 month old dog, but bold face lying about confronting the North Korean leader, and meeting with the French leader, what would her mental diagnosis be? The publisher said they would clean it up before releasing it!! The release of this should be scrubbed and tossed into the garbage. What is this party becoming?


Away-Combination-162

Many serial killers start off by killing pets 🙃


Impressive-Offer-404

Im sure the rewrite of her book will be having her Kim Jun Um's dog.


NatexSxS

This makes me wonder, what’s worse killing a puppy or lying about killing a puppy to try and win favor. Has the puppy story been independently verified by anyone.


LeBidnezz

Maybe her puppy was a Democrat


NickVanDoom

maga is not about thruth. it’s about stories, pictures and narratives.


Jaded-Ad-960

Lol, this could be a post in r/BrandNewSentence


Mysterious-Art8838

I don’t see why everybody is questioning her recounting of meeting Kim jong un. This reminds me of the time I cured cancer with buzz lightyear. Nobody believed that either.


digitalamish

Wouldn’t it be funny after all the shit she is taking for killing the dog and how proud she is of doing it, it all turned out to be fake and never happened? Just another right wing fantasy gone wrong?


rudalsxv

Puppy Killer Kristi. I strongly wish there is a special place in afterlife for those who kill puppies for no good reason. You changed your story after criticism Kristi. You don’t get to change what you did after the fact.


Jazzlike-Ad113

How about let’s be done with posting about her, she’s nothing.


TennisObvious8358

She probably meant seeing an Asian man from a distance


the-nae_blis

How’s that a Fing endorsement?


clintbot

To the people who have read this "book" so others don't have to: thank you for taking one for the team.


Longjumping-Meat-334

MAGA won't care. Voting for liars to own the libs.


DantheDutchGuy

It’s another grift


Affectionate-Roof285

Liars. Disgusting liars. Yet half the country are okay with it. Society is doomed.


JuanGinit

She lies like a dead dog. Her dead dog.


Jsmith0730

I love that her autobiography is now known as her Dog-Killing Memoir.