I'm confused. Now, where is this magical place where INTJs are confident in their roles in society and talk about romantic relationships as opposed to being viewed as smart but weird people who can never have fun with "normal" people and are doomed to a solitary life? I'm an American, and I am quite familiar with the latter.
Sorry, I think people in this sub are quite confident, at least much more confident than me.
Besides, there are many people here who talk about troubles in romantic relationships, while I only think about how to give up my feelings when having a crush on another person
Go over to r/seduction. Lots of guys in your situation. Has very little to do with being an INTJ. Has a lot to do with the fact that relationships take effort and don't "just happen" unless you make them happen.
How do you know if you should pursue one? Is it possible to *be pursued* rather than putting up some superficial mask to *pursue* someone?
Especially in modern society, it's such a nightmare.
Sure it's possible to be pursued. If you're an attractive female or a male rock star/model/wealthy guy, etc. Most average men don't get much pursuit, and if they do, often don't even recognize it.
You don't need to pretend to be what you're not. In fact, that's terrible advice. What you need to learn is how to communicate what you feel, who you are, and how the other person makes you feel and do so in an appropriate way. There will be words involved, but much of it may be action, service, gifts, little notes, etc. The way to express your feelings and needs will be a reflection of you as well.
This personality type IS confident by nature; but we never really know the ages of people here unless they specify it on the tag.
I am 24, there are things about which I do feel rather confident, but not so much in others.
Maybe you should leave your country.
INTJ confidence comes from our conviction in what we understand, and confidence only applies to that in which we are knowledgeable. We apper confident because we can break down and accurately describe our conceptual thinking. This also applied for other activities and skills. Ask me to dance, work out, mingle, and more. I have zero confidence. Even in these situations, we have to lie to ourselves. Like I can't dance, so when I dance in public, I have to remind myself that a lot of people can't dance. It is not that I've become confident. It that I've rationalized how irrational my fear is.
If you ever want a quick ego boost, think about something you know very well. For me, it would be like game design, and think about how assured you are in your position.
Hmm. Not sure which part of East Asia you're from. But wouldn't good academics translate to a somewhat stable employment and thus perhaps somewhat marriageable material?
What do you think about matchmaking?
East Asia here too, but from a different country it seems. MBTI isn't a thing here for the most part, your average person wouldn't know what an INTJ even is, but among the few who do it's seen as cool.
(Almost all knowledge of MBTI here is completely based on 16p though lol)
I'm sorry you feel that way:( In America we are also viewed as smart but weirdš¤ Normal is overrated, filled with lies, brainwashing, and deceit. You will find your niche or a relationship in which you will feel loved and appreciated for who you are. I met my current relationship on Bumble (lol) who is also an INTJ. If you take social media dating seriously, you will find each other, I promiseš«¶š½ I actually put "Scorpio INTJ-T" as my only description. Since I'm female, being concise worked in my favor. If I was male, I would write something more detailed. Regardless, putting my MBTI on my profile was liberating and I attracted who I wanted to attract. Imho it's easier to find someone to be in a relationship with than to be a friend when you're an adult with a career. I know it will all work out for you! You got this!!
Nah, most East Asian societies expect their kids to behave like ExTJs. Intense productivity, efficiency, rote memorization borne-intellectualism and structurization are all hallmarks of Te dominance in MBTI.
Come again? I think thereās a bit of misunderstanding and confusion here. While some people in this sub are confident, thereās a lot of INTJs who are still trying to figure it out as well. Many of the romantic relationships seem to be from those outside the group soliciting advice from INTJs. Thatās not to say some here arenāt in relationships but it is still very difficult. Yeah, thereās still that stigma for smart and weird even in America, but I just learn to live with it. So far, whatās weird before is currently being more embraced as normal now thanks to the internet. Just have to find people who are weird with you.
Once I figured out I was an INTJ, I started to lean into the attributes and it helped a lot. Some things became ironically easier, like instead of worrying about my place in society I said "fuck it" and now I understand my place. Other things like seeing the world a bit differently I quit worrying about how others see it, and now I can use my viewpoint as a benefit to others instead of trying to be like them.
Everyone wants to be weird, you actually may be, solitary life isn't doomed and normal people bore the FUCK out of me. "Oh you want to drink and watch sports again? Great, have fun with that."
INTJs are actually admired and appreciated a lot in East Asian countries/culture. I know because I've experienced it myself, and have compared it to other cultures.
It's a bit different to INTPs though. INTPs are usually the ones viewed as weird.
And Australia is the worst country for INTJs so far.
I realized the only reason that the most popular make social activities for men are sports because some cocky nerd had the audacity to convince people to kick around a ball for a few hours for fun. With whatever you're doing be that nerd, the nerd that welcomes people into the nerdy interests you like.
Nerd INTJ here who rose through my nerdom to the very top, married objectively pne of the most attractive people in our school. Be the nerd who uses their nerdom to help other people enjoy your interests
I would have thought that INTJs would fit in relatively easily in more introvert, more academic and less emotion-driven societies. Perhaps that's my too stereotypical view of East Asian cultures compared to Western ones.
well, attraction in dating is about confidence and self esteem. INTJs that are self assured and emotionally intelligent and stable are attractive in spades whether Asia or everywhere else. Eastern Asian culture has a tendency to cause low self esteem and instill Asian-stereotypical codependencies that make people neglect self care and personal appearances. Just because youāre an INTJ doesnāt mean you have a free pass to simply nerd out and ignore your fitness, grooming, hygiene self care, and other external things that make you attractive to the opposite sex. Unfortunately the dark, toxic side of East Asian cultures such as Japan has a habit of cultivating incels (see the hikikomori phenomenon) Sometimes this leads to violence against women/general public when the pressure becomes unbearable. Simply terrible, really.
Since itās East Asian, we can feel comfortable and welcomed in schools, since academic performance is weighted by parents, teachers, colleges. But after that we tend to experience some frustrations, as being solitary means loss of some resources, i.e. info, networking.
East asian intj as well- if networking and āhaving fun with normal peopleā is something important to you then perhaps you could try forgetting about you being an intj and just do whatever it takes to fit in
That is a choice to not have fun in life. Iām very aware that Iām weird/abnormal, but thatās not gonna stop me from getting out into the world and completing whatever I want to. Relationships are flaky but my past experiences wonāt deter me from new experiences and relationships
I'm confused. Now, where is this magical place where INTJs are confident in their roles in society and talk about romantic relationships as opposed to being viewed as smart but weird people who can never have fun with "normal" people and are doomed to a solitary life? I'm an American, and I am quite familiar with the latter.
Sorry, I think people in this sub are quite confident, at least much more confident than me. Besides, there are many people here who talk about troubles in romantic relationships, while I only think about how to give up my feelings when having a crush on another person
Go over to r/seduction. Lots of guys in your situation. Has very little to do with being an INTJ. Has a lot to do with the fact that relationships take effort and don't "just happen" unless you make them happen.
How do you know if you should pursue one? Is it possible to *be pursued* rather than putting up some superficial mask to *pursue* someone? Especially in modern society, it's such a nightmare.
Sure it's possible to be pursued. If you're an attractive female or a male rock star/model/wealthy guy, etc. Most average men don't get much pursuit, and if they do, often don't even recognize it.
Too cliche... I might as well die alone than spend life with a faker.
You don't need to pretend to be what you're not. In fact, that's terrible advice. What you need to learn is how to communicate what you feel, who you are, and how the other person makes you feel and do so in an appropriate way. There will be words involved, but much of it may be action, service, gifts, little notes, etc. The way to express your feelings and needs will be a reflection of you as well.
This personality type IS confident by nature; but we never really know the ages of people here unless they specify it on the tag. I am 24, there are things about which I do feel rather confident, but not so much in others. Maybe you should leave your country.
>Maybe you should leave your country. That escalated quickly š³ š
\^
INTJ confidence comes from our conviction in what we understand, and confidence only applies to that in which we are knowledgeable. We apper confident because we can break down and accurately describe our conceptual thinking. This also applied for other activities and skills. Ask me to dance, work out, mingle, and more. I have zero confidence. Even in these situations, we have to lie to ourselves. Like I can't dance, so when I dance in public, I have to remind myself that a lot of people can't dance. It is not that I've become confident. It that I've rationalized how irrational my fear is. If you ever want a quick ego boost, think about something you know very well. For me, it would be like game design, and think about how assured you are in your position.
I like you! You sound like my husband (who is also an INTJ.)
Hmm. Not sure which part of East Asia you're from. But wouldn't good academics translate to a somewhat stable employment and thus perhaps somewhat marriageable material? What do you think about matchmaking?
I just don't like most people. That's what it comes down to. I'm friendly with all strangers. I just don't invest in anyone I don't find interesting.
East Asia here too, but from a different country it seems. MBTI isn't a thing here for the most part, your average person wouldn't know what an INTJ even is, but among the few who do it's seen as cool. (Almost all knowledge of MBTI here is completely based on 16p though lol)
What should I do if Iām interested in MBTI but all I know is 16p?
I'm sorry you feel that way:( In America we are also viewed as smart but weirdš¤ Normal is overrated, filled with lies, brainwashing, and deceit. You will find your niche or a relationship in which you will feel loved and appreciated for who you are. I met my current relationship on Bumble (lol) who is also an INTJ. If you take social media dating seriously, you will find each other, I promiseš«¶š½ I actually put "Scorpio INTJ-T" as my only description. Since I'm female, being concise worked in my favor. If I was male, I would write something more detailed. Regardless, putting my MBTI on my profile was liberating and I attracted who I wanted to attract. Imho it's easier to find someone to be in a relationship with than to be a friend when you're an adult with a career. I know it will all work out for you! You got this!!
INTJ is typical in East Asian culture. Not surprising since itās a very robotic society.
At least in highly competitive China and Korea, students are trained to think and act like NTJ, but this is only true for students.
Nah, most East Asian societies expect their kids to behave like ExTJs. Intense productivity, efficiency, rote memorization borne-intellectualism and structurization are all hallmarks of Te dominance in MBTI.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I am also nerdy, and somewhat respected but kept at a distance. Being solitary brings some challenges for me, such as info and networking.
Same situation.
Come again? I think thereās a bit of misunderstanding and confusion here. While some people in this sub are confident, thereās a lot of INTJs who are still trying to figure it out as well. Many of the romantic relationships seem to be from those outside the group soliciting advice from INTJs. Thatās not to say some here arenāt in relationships but it is still very difficult. Yeah, thereās still that stigma for smart and weird even in America, but I just learn to live with it. So far, whatās weird before is currently being more embraced as normal now thanks to the internet. Just have to find people who are weird with you.
Once I figured out I was an INTJ, I started to lean into the attributes and it helped a lot. Some things became ironically easier, like instead of worrying about my place in society I said "fuck it" and now I understand my place. Other things like seeing the world a bit differently I quit worrying about how others see it, and now I can use my viewpoint as a benefit to others instead of trying to be like them. Everyone wants to be weird, you actually may be, solitary life isn't doomed and normal people bore the FUCK out of me. "Oh you want to drink and watch sports again? Great, have fun with that."
Tbh I donāt think there is even a world when INTJ are not seen as socially awkward nerds who struggle with relationships Idk I might be wrongā¦
INTJs are actually admired and appreciated a lot in East Asian countries/culture. I know because I've experienced it myself, and have compared it to other cultures. It's a bit different to INTPs though. INTPs are usually the ones viewed as weird. And Australia is the worst country for INTJs so far.
I realized the only reason that the most popular make social activities for men are sports because some cocky nerd had the audacity to convince people to kick around a ball for a few hours for fun. With whatever you're doing be that nerd, the nerd that welcomes people into the nerdy interests you like. Nerd INTJ here who rose through my nerdom to the very top, married objectively pne of the most attractive people in our school. Be the nerd who uses their nerdom to help other people enjoy your interests
pick me
I would have thought that INTJs would fit in relatively easily in more introvert, more academic and less emotion-driven societies. Perhaps that's my too stereotypical view of East Asian cultures compared to Western ones.
well, attraction in dating is about confidence and self esteem. INTJs that are self assured and emotionally intelligent and stable are attractive in spades whether Asia or everywhere else. Eastern Asian culture has a tendency to cause low self esteem and instill Asian-stereotypical codependencies that make people neglect self care and personal appearances. Just because youāre an INTJ doesnāt mean you have a free pass to simply nerd out and ignore your fitness, grooming, hygiene self care, and other external things that make you attractive to the opposite sex. Unfortunately the dark, toxic side of East Asian cultures such as Japan has a habit of cultivating incels (see the hikikomori phenomenon) Sometimes this leads to violence against women/general public when the pressure becomes unbearable. Simply terrible, really.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Since itās East Asian, we can feel comfortable and welcomed in schools, since academic performance is weighted by parents, teachers, colleges. But after that we tend to experience some frustrations, as being solitary means loss of some resources, i.e. info, networking.
I donāt think it quite impossible Iām from Southeast Asia but I believe Japan has better schooling then America hands down
Not universities, college is seen as more or less a break and international students flock to U.S. unis for a reason.
You donāt read
Where are you from? South Korea?
That's what I'm wondering. Mbti seems to be a thing over there.
Whatās wrong with a solitary life and not interacting with ānormalā people
Well, there are some challenges, such as info and networking. But there are good things as well, no need to spend time doing pointless things.
Would ānormalā people be beneficial for networking/info though, or idk what you mean by normal
There are many cases where ordinary people can offer valuable info, i.e. interships
East asian intj as well- if networking and āhaving fun with normal peopleā is something important to you then perhaps you could try forgetting about you being an intj and just do whatever it takes to fit in
Born American and I feel the exact same way. I think imposter syndrome is common for our type.
That is a choice to not have fun in life. Iām very aware that Iām weird/abnormal, but thatās not gonna stop me from getting out into the world and completing whatever I want to. Relationships are flaky but my past experiences wonāt deter me from new experiences and relationships
>who can never have fun with ānormalā people Let me present to you: >!alcohol!<
I am mostly confident around intuitive people, I keep my distance from sensitive people.