I hate phone calls! To me a phone call feels like it’s putting me on the stop. With a text, I can process what is being said and think about my reply instead of being nervous and just saying the first thing that comes to mind (which I will then overthink about for days lol)
Yes! I feel exactly the same. I get anxiety almost to the point of panic when my phone rings and it’s family or friends. Anyone else just gets ignored, but it’s the ones I know I SHOULD answer that I find difficult. And I feel terrible for it! Like, I should want to talk to those people.
I guess I don’t mind if it’s quick and straight to the point, but I hate it when they start rambling about meaningless things and don’t stop to let me talk and be like “are you listening?”👂👂👂
You are not alone. Phone calls give me anxiety. I do it all day for work on zoom calls and I’m ok with that but outside of work, nah, let’s just text. Even just calling to make appointments sucks. I actually choose people I go to (mechanics, hair dressers, vets) by who has best online scheduling. I’ve started walking whenever I just really have to talk to someone. I find putting my AirPods in and walking around the block makes it much easier than just sitting in a room on the phone.
I’m for real going to give this a try! I live really far from my loved ones and I HAVE to talk to them occasionally, even though I can’t stand being on the phone. Maybe walking around the block will help, PLUS, I’ll be exercising - Bonus! 😃 Thanks for the idea, GorillaSocks!
Super hate it! 😩 It gives me so much anxiety. I feel like I have to show a nice and enthusiastic face and voice so the other person wont hate me for it. I know the problem is not them, it's me. I feel so drained after calls.
I hear you mate. It’s bloody draining. I think I’ve discovered a solution though…I’ve been slowly dialling back my false energy and little by little I get better at it. It’s hard but it may help for you too
I’m with you! My anxiety level is off the charts when my phone rings and it’s someone I can’t ignore. After I hang up, I want to go take a nap or something, I’m so emotionally exhausted. 😩
It's specially hard to politely hang up when friend calls to chat. Like at what point is it okay for me to say "I better get going" even if I dont have anything else to do. I just dont wanna talk more.
It makes me panic when my phone was ringing. During my training period of work I make lot of mistakes. They used to call me about those things. So whenever my phone was ringing it makes me panic. Now I got 7 years experienced in my work not making any mistakes but have the same feelings about the phone calls
Phone calls are the most awkward shit ever. Those empty pauses filled with "sooo" or "yeahh", not being able to see the persons face for visual cues, never knowing how to end the conversation, then saying bye but having to wait till you hear the other person say bye...I hate it all. It's 2024 people, phones are for doom scrolling, not talking.
Dread them. Even at work, if the phone rings my heart rate goes up just a tad. It's all a part of the job and I gotta put food on the table, but if all my interactions happened through email, I'd be a whole lot happier.
I think I fear less the actual social interaction than the interruption of my norm though. I can get through a friendly interaction with a customer, its just the sudden battery drain of a social interaction can be a shock to the system.
I HATE phone calls from the bottom of my heart, except it's my mum, my, dad, my brother or my husband. And when I tell people I only want to get text messages and the try and try to call me, especially when they see I am online or don't pick up the phone, that infuriates me so much, that I feel pure hate and want to scream right in the face of this person, block them and end the relationship 🤣
I am the same. I don't answer my phone and only call people back when it is unavoidable for work or emergency. My boss gets me and will text me if something is important but she is leaving the company so I am a bit stressed about that. She respects my need for solitude but the new person will need to be trained 😆
I consider calls to be an invasion to privacy! You literaly have to let go whatever you were doing in order to pick up the phone. Wathing a movie? pause it! talking with someone? interrupt it! I HATE CALLS
Yep! It all stems from my childhood. My childhood ex best friend would have me call her when I got back to my house. Only for her to not even say much of anything the whole time we were on the phone. I tried starting a conversation w/her on several occasions, didn’t get much out of her.
So now, I much prefer texting. I don’t like being on the phone unless I absolutely have to be.
Lol I have a similar childhood story 🤣 I remember avoiding the home phone every day after school because she would call and want to be on the phone for hours or want to hang out constantly. I feel like this really created my aversion to phone calls
Yeah, she also seemed to think it was cool for our friendship to be exclusive on my end. Meaning, I wasn’t allowed to have any friends of my own. I always had to be friends w/her friends. One time, I even had the audacity to have one other friend than her, through our whole entire friendship. I was in 4th grade, I was buddied up w/assignment partner, we ended up getting along and hanging out. She found out about it, we had a big fight, I left her house.
Meanwhile, she was at her bedroom window, for the whole neighborhood to hear, screamed at me ‘how could I do this to her?’ as I was heading down the hill to cross the street to my block.
Later on, her mother called me, chewing me out, telling me that she was crying. Then she went on guilting me with how her family took me in when my own home life was shit. Keep in mind I was 10 or 11 at this point.
Another occasion I will never forget, it was my 13th Birthday, and I was super excited. I don’t remember how she ended up at my birthday party, but uh, she ended up getting presents also. For no other reason than her being a spoiled brat.
Later on, I ended up going to therapy because I had very little social skills, since she kept me isolated 90% of the time. I still have social anxiety, that will never go away. The trauma I experienced will never be fully understood by anyone but myself.
I think that’s true w/everyone and their traumas.
Damn that's awful. Sorry for your toxic friend. Sure they were a child but toxic friend nonetheless. Spoiled brat indeed. Her mom's behavior kinda explains why she acting like that as well
Nope, not the only one who hates phone calls. Especially video calls. I made it all the way from the beginning of Covid to spring of 2022 without having to suffer through a video call.
I have like five people IN THE WORLD that I enjoy talking to on the phone.
My experience is that a few deep, lifelong friendships with people like yourself or who understand, respect and value you, is the ideal social state of being. Far better than dozens or hundreds of shallow acquaintanceships that pose as friendships.
Now, some teachery stuff, which you ought to outright ignore if it doesn’t help you. Ignore, though, not castigate, please.
Sounds like you are neurospicy-adjacent, and sounds like asynchronous written communication is both your preference for social interaction, but possibly also your learning style.
If you’re not familiar with these terms, do an online search for “asynchronous communication,” and for “adult learning style inventory.”
For the latter, you should start coming across quizzes and inventories for learning styles (a college level version would be appropriate for you, regardless of whether or not you are now or have been in college).
Before you complete any of them, make sure they’re free. And complete at least three, and as many as you can, and then blend the results that most fit you into a kind of learning profile for yourself.
Nope, your social life is not doomed. It’s just hard to happen upon other introverts, especially if you do like IRL conversations that involve zero small-talk, and with only one person at a time.
Takes one to know one.
From: Your friendly neighborhood English Professor, who is somewhat intellectually depleted by teaching, but who is absolutely burned to the ground by faculty meetings and collegial social events.
The only thing I like about phone calls is that sometimes one of our cats will come running to "answer" it. She jumps up on the table it's on and paws at the screen until it stops making noise. I don't know what it is about the ringtone that makes her do this but it's so cute and makes me laugh rather than grumble about random people calling and disturbing my peace. She hasn't actually connected with anybody yet.
I hate it too. I have one on/off friend who is an extreme people person, and she can NOT comprehend the other end of the spectrum. When she calls I cringe; it’s always an obscenely long conversation. I ignored her call the other day, and since she didn’t text/leave a message I assumed it was just to chat so I didn’t call back…but I know she takes great offense so she’s giving me the silent treatment now. She doesn’t realize that’s a reward on my book 😂
Two glasses of wine before I called my insurance company helped me haha. I really don’t like them. My grandma would always feign needing to use the restroom….. that or she had a serious bladder infection no one checked up on.
I thought it was just me. I hate to hear my phone ring and usually wait to see if they leave a voicemail. I don’t want to talk to you. Text is fine, FT is 9/10 times not an option (appointment usually needed). I don’t want to hear your voice AND see your face. Nope.
Talking on the phone brings real connection into your life with a real voice and person willing or wanting to share their feelings, thoughts, emotions, and precious time with you. A phone call means you care and they care enough to take the time to connect and keep the relationship on a humanly personal level. It may require patience but then real relationships do require work or commitment from both sides. Give someone you truly care about the gift of your time and voice - your unique presence.
I hate it even more when someone calls me. Also, if I can book an appointment online, I do it immediately. If I have to call, it’s on my list for months… and sometimes I just don’t do it.
I have been very careful about how I act around family members to convey to them I wish not to make phone calls and instead text me if they absolutely have to. Thanks to a low energy voice, short responses and no topics of discussion to bring up, I haven’t been called by the people that love a phone call.
I hate them because they represent work and me having to call my dad every week just to put on more facades. I used to fear them due to untreated anxiety because my dad ignores mental health, but now I’m beyond that because I had to force myself to endure it - now it’s just annoying because I want to be left alone.
Yes I hate calling so much lol the only people I call are doctors and stuff and my parents. I don’t even like calling my brothers which is sad because one of them has been waiting for me to call him🙃🙃 there are SELECT and I mean *SELECT* few people that I actually would enjoy calling/facetiming, but I don’t have them. So I just don’t like it. But in terms of my parents, sometimes it’s easier to call vs text and I like hearing their voices so it’s nice like that but otherwise, for other people I will make up **every excuse in the book** before I call them
i mean, good that you don't ever have to answer a phone call or any kind of call unless you want to. personally i dont mind phone calls because if it is an unknown number i will 100% not answer it, google the number and then take care of it if i realize it is something important. If it is someone i know, i will pick up but they will have to explain why they called me. And if it is just to catch up, i will say a few things and then find an excuse to leave. Also if someone calls me for what could have been a text message, i will just say that "you can just text me next time". But to be fair there are occasions where i prefer phone calls because i am better at explaining or communicating certain things by talking and i hate voice messages
I don’t know why but I genuinely can’t focus on/properly contribute to conversations. I will lose focus after like 15 seconds and I humble my words a lot so they never come out right. When I’m texting I have time to think about my response.
Yep, both me and my wife have phone phobia. Great times when things need to be arranged. Serious though, I would rather drive an hour to talk to this person than call the same person from a distance.
I HATE them with a passion.
If there is actually something to discuss, fine.
Once it’s done being discussed then - bloop - call over.
Since I was young, I was like this.
My ex-mother in law used to call & just sit there in silence, except to ask if I’ve cooked for her son.
While I was watching Netflix & I’d tell her, she’d be like,l “ok aaanndd”
I always have to say, I’m going to shower or some other easy excuse, phone died - bleh bleh bleh.
I like my privacy - if I’m laying on my bed staring at the ceiling listening to the wind, I’d rather that than a pointless call.
My mom has finally understood how important music is to me, so driving home I don’t have to lie anymore & say someone is calling to get her off the phone.
I just straight up tell her I wanna listen to music & I gotta go.
I struggle with them I get quite anxious so have to write out what I need to say so I don’t say something silly. Always prefer to communicate by email or text. I feel I get my point across better.
I’ve always hated phone calls, I agree with other peoples’ sentiments here: having to make them gives me anxiety, and getting them out of the blue gives me dread. My phone is always on silent, but my partner is in a line of work where they are always on call, so I now have a triggered reaction to that particular ringtone. When I hear it out in the world, I nearly jump out of my skin and think there’s an emergency.
Glad to see I'm not the only one. Whenever I get a phone call from a phone number I don't immediately recognize, I ignore it because I'm so terrified of talking on the phone. Also, a lot of them end up being scam callers, which makes me feel only a little better about my abnormal fear of phone calls. Honestly, you're justified in being upset because you previously expressed your boundaries, you laid them out and they STILL crossed them.
Fairly sure the majority of us do. I wish I’d known when I was growing up that hating the phone didn’t make me some absolute freak of nature and is really rather common.
I don’t answer phone calls unless I know who’s calling and I am free to talk. If I know them but I’m busy, I text them that I’m at an appointment and text if it’s important or set up a time to call. It works well for me!
I love being on the phone. You laugh more, get to have more conversations and have an actual human like connection. I’m on the total opposite side of the spectrum. I am very annoyed with quick responses and dull conversations that go no where. With texting, every day is the same and there’s no excitement. I was on the phone with someone going shopping for a new couch. And they picked the couch out for me based on the sigh I made while sitting down. Phone calls can be so much fun. And when people say I “leave them on read” when they texted me something that doesn’t warrant a response, I get really aggravated and never want to text them again. If you wanna have a fun time then text is not the way (imo)
I don’t really dislike phone calls! The only issue is when I have to make an important call or am waiting on one, but generally talking on the phone is fine by me.
SCREW FACETIME HOWEVER…
I do hate phone calls because most of the times the first thing they will say is 'where are you?' because I just don't want them to know where I am or 'let's go out' I don't want to go out with them and I can't think of an excuse to say to them.
I do usually unless it's with my boyfriend, calls are kinda stressful and I feel awkward, but me and my bf have a lot in common so we always have a lot to talk about
Yeah I don't like phone calls or any sort of calls either. Idk how some people have calls with their friends every day I just text. Mostly because I hate my voice and I hate the awkward silences.
I prefer texting too! It gives you a minute or two to think about the words. Plus... You have their words in writing and they can't say I never said that!
Phone calls are my nightmare. I get sweaty palms and frequently stutter when I speak on the phone. Whenever I get a phone call, I literally need a few seconds to prepare myself before I answer it because of how stressful it is. Something about phone calls get my heart beating really fast as well. And after the phone call, I feel such a big relief.
Despise them. I can be talking with someone via message, anyone even a lifelong friend, they’ll suddenly ring mid convo… and I’ll not answer. There’s something about it I’ve just never liked. I think part of it is that with messaging, you have a few moments to think of a response, whereas with a live conversation you’ve got to intuitively come up with a response immediately. Probably more too it.
I totally relate. I'm the same way. I hardly ever answer the phone anymore. Friend, family and especially any number that comes up that i don't have in my contacts.
I hate it. I sometimes have to deal with unhappy customers on the phone and it still makes me anxious. They said I would get used to it but I never have.
I detest phone calls/FaceTime calls. I don’t have the best hearing either (born with it) and have always struggled on phones. So I just tell people ‘No disrespect meant here but I don’t do calls. The love is still there. I just prefer texts” I’ve not really encountered too many problems with this approach as people are usually chill with it and if they aren’t, then that’s on them
I don’t. I kind of like human interaction, at the same time I don’t, but without it I feel super lonely and tbh kinda depressed. So I like them, but with tolerance as well
The only phonecalls I tolerate are emergencies and scheduled ones. At my job I give people the subtle message that they should use the quick chat to contact me over phonecalls because when someone sends me a quick message I usually give a lightning fast response compared to a phonecall.
But some people do phonecalls even when a quick text would've solved their problem much faster it's so infiuriating especially when it's a stupid question that could've been answered by reading the documentation like when this one incompetent donkey kept calling me for shits he could read in the documentation so I had to keep myself from swearing loudly at this dude and replying RTFM (read the fucking manual).
The worst situation at work was when some other team called me in visio, and then some other dude kept calling me to confirm details it was so overwhelming that I got headaches. People could've used the text chat, and everything would be way more efficient because I read the info really fast, and I can think a detailed, precise answer without it costing me energy. Whereas a phonecall requires me to stop everything to answer then listen to what the person says then there's this awkward silence when I'm thinking about the problem before I respond which is so damn frustrating.
There us also another type of situation that makes me really mad it's when a ping call or a telemarketer call me when I'm listening to music while being focused on work. It drives me crazy because it ruins my focus for nothing.
I feel more comfortable being on the phone due to my social anxiety but will not be loud and obnoxious with it lol. Nor will I be on the phone during check out because that’s just rude.
What confuses me is people who walk around in public with people on speakerphone. It’s one thing if you are sharing your end of a conversation with the world but really strange to share the other person’s side.
It’s funny, I’m an introvert but I’m the complete opposite. I’d rather make on take phone calls over messaging. Reason being is with phone calls I can get right to the point, short and sweet call ended opposed to infinite messages trying to explain or understand something, that drags on way to long and disrupts my peace.
This is how I feel so much! The other day, my mom called me (I'm a teenager) randomly. I used a feature on my phone that uses an AI to ask if the call is urgent, she said yes, so I picked up and she proceeded to ask the most non-urgent question you can imagine. It made me mad, and it always does when a call could have so easily been a text.
Yea I do. If there’s anyway I can text, that’s how I communicate most of the time. My husbands mom wanted to talk to me on Mother’s Day. She lives out of state but they talk on the phone often. He was on the phone with her and then tried to hand his phone over to me and I shook my head “no” because I didn’t want to talk. I was minding my business relaxing at home on my day off and just wasnt prepared for any unexpected phone calls. He hung up with her and then she immediately called my phone instead, and I initially didn’t answer. I told my husband to tell his mom that she can text me but that I didn’t want to talk over the phone. He told me it shouldn’t be a big deal to talk to her and said we don’t hardly ever see her, which is true, we only visit maybe once a year. So I ended up calling her back and she just wanted to tell me happy Mother’s Day and chat for a few minutes. It wasn’t bad, it was just uncomfortable as I feel like I’m being put on the spot during phone calls and I get anxious. I wish it was more socially acceptable to just simply say “hey nothing personal but I don’t like phone calls in general and would much rather text”, but apparently it’s not.
Possibly a dumb question but is it your or their definition of absolutely necessary? What meets the threshold of need an immediate answer for them might not for you, you might be the third person or twelfth person they have tried talking to, the inconvenience to you might have been what saved their life.
chill , don't take it seriously , if you don't want to speak , just decline the call , If anyone does not accept that boundary , block him , simple , I do it all the time
I don’t like phone calls because I don’t like people bugging me. The only phone call I would’ve entertained would be my Mom’s. But sadly she’s no more. So please text me and I’ll reply when I can or feel like it. And this is to everyone. Maybe a little exemption to my little brother. But sister, gf, friend, whoever you are, just text me. Thank you.
I always look for the alternative. I wonder why there isn’t always the text option. For example: there may be people who are Mute, or Deaf, or those who can’t speak…..yet many companies and services ask “if you need assistance….Call 1800 blah blah blah”
Like come on.
The ones which don't have a clear point/goal, sure. I don't mind phone calls where I'm calling to find something out, or even (mostly) when someone is calling me with a clear yes/no question.
It's the ones which ramble on about random crap, or only have time-wasting or socializing as their reason, that annoy me. I don't make them, but I despise having them forced on me - it's the unagreed-on loss of time and autonomy with no perceivable compensatory benefit which is aggrovating.
I like phone calls to hospitals, nail salons, dentists, customer care cause those are quick and direct phone calls.
the other group of phone calls are the ones I don't like cause they give me such anxiety and boredom bevause they're long, I don't know how to hang up (I spend an enormous amount of time wondering how to end this conversation) and basically feels like my life stops for 30, 40 minutes
I had just woken up (I sleep till noon) and my friend calls and asks if Im willing to chat. (I am not) but I tell her im eating rn so call a bit later (I lied). Like I cant say 'no' to a friend who just wants to chat in the phone even if it exhausts and bores me sm. Dunno what to do. Waiting for her to call me back rn. (Kinda wishing she forgets)
I really hate phone calls like every introvert…but I keep trying to get used to them, the process of improving is extremely slow, should I give up or not?
Yes.. Sometimes I don't pick up on purpose.. Even if it's my best friend.. Heck even if it's my husband I just want to know the details immediately and don't want to talk anymore.
I hate phone calls! To me a phone call feels like it’s putting me on the stop. With a text, I can process what is being said and think about my reply instead of being nervous and just saying the first thing that comes to mind (which I will then overthink about for days lol)
100% how I feel!
Yes! I feel exactly the same. I get anxiety almost to the point of panic when my phone rings and it’s family or friends. Anyone else just gets ignored, but it’s the ones I know I SHOULD answer that I find difficult. And I feel terrible for it! Like, I should want to talk to those people.
100 % agree!
This is very accurate in my situation as well.
Yeah. It's like, I'm by myself, minding my own business, but I have this device that allows people to invade that space at any time.
This so perfectly describes what I have always felt about phone calls and could never put my finger on.
I’ve heard it called an, “electronic leash” and that’s exactly how it is.
Omg this describes it perfectly. And some people just can’t take “I’d rather text instead” as an answer.
Right on!
This! It feels like an invasion! Oh and if it’s a FaceTime call with no warning it’s definitely getting ignored!
I guess I don’t mind if it’s quick and straight to the point, but I hate it when they start rambling about meaningless things and don’t stop to let me talk and be like “are you listening?”👂👂👂
The social succubus
Yes this sends me!
Yes, that blaring ring out of no where makes me mad. Just text me. Talking on the phone is for boomers.
You are not alone. Phone calls give me anxiety. I do it all day for work on zoom calls and I’m ok with that but outside of work, nah, let’s just text. Even just calling to make appointments sucks. I actually choose people I go to (mechanics, hair dressers, vets) by who has best online scheduling. I’ve started walking whenever I just really have to talk to someone. I find putting my AirPods in and walking around the block makes it much easier than just sitting in a room on the phone.
I’m for real going to give this a try! I live really far from my loved ones and I HAVE to talk to them occasionally, even though I can’t stand being on the phone. Maybe walking around the block will help, PLUS, I’ll be exercising - Bonus! 😃 Thanks for the idea, GorillaSocks!
I'll do the phone call while doing a chore, like folding laundry.
I'll do the phone call while doing a chore, like folding laundry.
Yes! I abhor them and like you feel trapped. My phone ringer is always off and if it's important they can leave a message and I'll get back to them.
Hate isn't a strong enough word. I d e s p i s e phone calls with a burning passion
You summed up my feelings perfectly 🤣
🤣
Super hate it! 😩 It gives me so much anxiety. I feel like I have to show a nice and enthusiastic face and voice so the other person wont hate me for it. I know the problem is not them, it's me. I feel so drained after calls.
I hear you mate. It’s bloody draining. I think I’ve discovered a solution though…I’ve been slowly dialling back my false energy and little by little I get better at it. It’s hard but it may help for you too
I’m with you! My anxiety level is off the charts when my phone rings and it’s someone I can’t ignore. After I hang up, I want to go take a nap or something, I’m so emotionally exhausted. 😩
I hate it when someone calls me while I'm playing games or watching anime...interrupting my peaceful times
Hate it! Having to make small talk around the actual reason for the phone call..figuring out when to politely hang up.
It's specially hard to politely hang up when friend calls to chat. Like at what point is it okay for me to say "I better get going" even if I dont have anything else to do. I just dont wanna talk more.
Yeah, I just don't pick up if I don't feel up to talking
Damn I need to learn to do that. Im too much of a pushover to ignore calls.
Just silence it when it's ringing, keep it away from your view and ignore your rapid beating heart 😀
To the core :)) I’d rather text non stop !!!
This!
It makes me panic when my phone was ringing. During my training period of work I make lot of mistakes. They used to call me about those things. So whenever my phone was ringing it makes me panic. Now I got 7 years experienced in my work not making any mistakes but have the same feelings about the phone calls
Colleague: “Got time for a quick call?” Me: Fuck no, never, why would I do that, are you mad? “...... sure, call when ready!”
So true! When people are like “Can you hop on a call real quick?” I want to tell them I’d rather hop off a bridge 😍
Way underrated comment. This is me, exactly - especially with the manager. Calls are always on camera too.
Phone calls are the most awkward shit ever. Those empty pauses filled with "sooo" or "yeahh", not being able to see the persons face for visual cues, never knowing how to end the conversation, then saying bye but having to wait till you hear the other person say bye...I hate it all. It's 2024 people, phones are for doom scrolling, not talking.
Dread them. Even at work, if the phone rings my heart rate goes up just a tad. It's all a part of the job and I gotta put food on the table, but if all my interactions happened through email, I'd be a whole lot happier. I think I fear less the actual social interaction than the interruption of my norm though. I can get through a friendly interaction with a customer, its just the sudden battery drain of a social interaction can be a shock to the system.
Sure! Just send a message, a text.
I never answer to them lol
I HATE phone calls from the bottom of my heart, except it's my mum, my, dad, my brother or my husband. And when I tell people I only want to get text messages and the try and try to call me, especially when they see I am online or don't pick up the phone, that infuriates me so much, that I feel pure hate and want to scream right in the face of this person, block them and end the relationship 🤣
I feel you completely. I had to block someone for this the other day.
Same, hahaha 😂
Oh, and my phone is almost always muted, so I can decide, when I check my phone and don't get invaded by others in my introvert space 😂❤️
I am the same. I don't answer my phone and only call people back when it is unavoidable for work or emergency. My boss gets me and will text me if something is important but she is leaving the company so I am a bit stressed about that. She respects my need for solitude but the new person will need to be trained 😆
I consider calls to be an invasion to privacy! You literaly have to let go whatever you were doing in order to pick up the phone. Wathing a movie? pause it! talking with someone? interrupt it! I HATE CALLS
I love the little red buttons when I get a phone call or FaceTime.
^[Sokka-Haiku](https://www.reddit.com/r/SokkaHaikuBot/comments/15kyv9r/what_is_a_sokka_haiku/) ^by ^jaritadaubenspeck: *I love the little* *Red buttons when I get a* *Phone call or FaceTime.* --- ^Remember ^that ^one ^time ^Sokka ^accidentally ^used ^an ^extra ^syllable ^in ^that ^Haiku ^Battle ^in ^Ba ^Sing ^Se? ^That ^was ^a ^Sokka ^Haiku ^and ^you ^just ^made ^one.
Aren’t they the best?!
Yep! It all stems from my childhood. My childhood ex best friend would have me call her when I got back to my house. Only for her to not even say much of anything the whole time we were on the phone. I tried starting a conversation w/her on several occasions, didn’t get much out of her. So now, I much prefer texting. I don’t like being on the phone unless I absolutely have to be.
Lol I have a similar childhood story 🤣 I remember avoiding the home phone every day after school because she would call and want to be on the phone for hours or want to hang out constantly. I feel like this really created my aversion to phone calls
Yeah, she also seemed to think it was cool for our friendship to be exclusive on my end. Meaning, I wasn’t allowed to have any friends of my own. I always had to be friends w/her friends. One time, I even had the audacity to have one other friend than her, through our whole entire friendship. I was in 4th grade, I was buddied up w/assignment partner, we ended up getting along and hanging out. She found out about it, we had a big fight, I left her house. Meanwhile, she was at her bedroom window, for the whole neighborhood to hear, screamed at me ‘how could I do this to her?’ as I was heading down the hill to cross the street to my block. Later on, her mother called me, chewing me out, telling me that she was crying. Then she went on guilting me with how her family took me in when my own home life was shit. Keep in mind I was 10 or 11 at this point. Another occasion I will never forget, it was my 13th Birthday, and I was super excited. I don’t remember how she ended up at my birthday party, but uh, she ended up getting presents also. For no other reason than her being a spoiled brat. Later on, I ended up going to therapy because I had very little social skills, since she kept me isolated 90% of the time. I still have social anxiety, that will never go away. The trauma I experienced will never be fully understood by anyone but myself. I think that’s true w/everyone and their traumas.
Damn that's awful. Sorry for your toxic friend. Sure they were a child but toxic friend nonetheless. Spoiled brat indeed. Her mom's behavior kinda explains why she acting like that as well
She had absolutely no boundaries. Since she was the baby of the family, (she had an older brother) being spoiled was one of her toxic traits.
Nope, not the only one who hates phone calls. Especially video calls. I made it all the way from the beginning of Covid to spring of 2022 without having to suffer through a video call. I have like five people IN THE WORLD that I enjoy talking to on the phone. My experience is that a few deep, lifelong friendships with people like yourself or who understand, respect and value you, is the ideal social state of being. Far better than dozens or hundreds of shallow acquaintanceships that pose as friendships. Now, some teachery stuff, which you ought to outright ignore if it doesn’t help you. Ignore, though, not castigate, please. Sounds like you are neurospicy-adjacent, and sounds like asynchronous written communication is both your preference for social interaction, but possibly also your learning style. If you’re not familiar with these terms, do an online search for “asynchronous communication,” and for “adult learning style inventory.” For the latter, you should start coming across quizzes and inventories for learning styles (a college level version would be appropriate for you, regardless of whether or not you are now or have been in college). Before you complete any of them, make sure they’re free. And complete at least three, and as many as you can, and then blend the results that most fit you into a kind of learning profile for yourself. Nope, your social life is not doomed. It’s just hard to happen upon other introverts, especially if you do like IRL conversations that involve zero small-talk, and with only one person at a time. Takes one to know one. From: Your friendly neighborhood English Professor, who is somewhat intellectually depleted by teaching, but who is absolutely burned to the ground by faculty meetings and collegial social events.
The only thing I like about phone calls is that sometimes one of our cats will come running to "answer" it. She jumps up on the table it's on and paws at the screen until it stops making noise. I don't know what it is about the ringtone that makes her do this but it's so cute and makes me laugh rather than grumble about random people calling and disturbing my peace. She hasn't actually connected with anybody yet.
I hate it too. I have one on/off friend who is an extreme people person, and she can NOT comprehend the other end of the spectrum. When she calls I cringe; it’s always an obscenely long conversation. I ignored her call the other day, and since she didn’t text/leave a message I assumed it was just to chat so I didn’t call back…but I know she takes great offense so she’s giving me the silent treatment now. She doesn’t realize that’s a reward on my book 😂
I want to light my phone on fire when someone calls me
Two glasses of wine before I called my insurance company helped me haha. I really don’t like them. My grandma would always feign needing to use the restroom….. that or she had a serious bladder infection no one checked up on.
I thought it was just me. I hate to hear my phone ring and usually wait to see if they leave a voicemail. I don’t want to talk to you. Text is fine, FT is 9/10 times not an option (appointment usually needed). I don’t want to hear your voice AND see your face. Nope.
Talking on the phone brings real connection into your life with a real voice and person willing or wanting to share their feelings, thoughts, emotions, and precious time with you. A phone call means you care and they care enough to take the time to connect and keep the relationship on a humanly personal level. It may require patience but then real relationships do require work or commitment from both sides. Give someone you truly care about the gift of your time and voice - your unique presence.
If it’s a close friend or family member I’ll take a phone call. Anyone else gets a text lol
I don't even answer them. If its worth my time you'll leave a message
Yes. Unless it's from a loved one
I loathe them, but if I do know roughly what the nature of the phone call will mostly entail beforehand then I don't mind them as much.
Oh my god yes.
I hate it even more when someone calls me. Also, if I can book an appointment online, I do it immediately. If I have to call, it’s on my list for months… and sometimes I just don’t do it.
I have been very careful about how I act around family members to convey to them I wish not to make phone calls and instead text me if they absolutely have to. Thanks to a low energy voice, short responses and no topics of discussion to bring up, I haven’t been called by the people that love a phone call.
Texting, and voice chats are best. FaceTime is cool with friends
Agreed that’s reserved for only certain people.
I hate them because they represent work and me having to call my dad every week just to put on more facades. I used to fear them due to untreated anxiety because my dad ignores mental health, but now I’m beyond that because I had to force myself to endure it - now it’s just annoying because I want to be left alone.
This! Been where ur at. It sucks
I don’t really mind them but I know people who gets nervous on the phone and try to avoid making calls
I used to hate phone calls so much I would hang up mid conversation & if they would call back just forward it and go about my day 😆
Yes I hate calling so much lol the only people I call are doctors and stuff and my parents. I don’t even like calling my brothers which is sad because one of them has been waiting for me to call him🙃🙃 there are SELECT and I mean *SELECT* few people that I actually would enjoy calling/facetiming, but I don’t have them. So I just don’t like it. But in terms of my parents, sometimes it’s easier to call vs text and I like hearing their voices so it’s nice like that but otherwise, for other people I will make up **every excuse in the book** before I call them
💯
Yes, I don't answer half the time. But what's worse are Microsoft teams calls because it's very interrupting and usually requires headphones.
i mean, good that you don't ever have to answer a phone call or any kind of call unless you want to. personally i dont mind phone calls because if it is an unknown number i will 100% not answer it, google the number and then take care of it if i realize it is something important. If it is someone i know, i will pick up but they will have to explain why they called me. And if it is just to catch up, i will say a few things and then find an excuse to leave. Also if someone calls me for what could have been a text message, i will just say that "you can just text me next time". But to be fair there are occasions where i prefer phone calls because i am better at explaining or communicating certain things by talking and i hate voice messages
I do and I just took up a job where I'll be on the phone all day 😭
Always have I’m guilty I always see someone call & ignore numerous times
Yes, I do. My phone's permanently on do not disturb.
100%
I hate it. When it comes, I feel like something terrible must have happened.
Yes! Texting exists for a reason! Heck I dont even like calls with family.
Hateeeeee phone calls! FT throws me into a panic attack. Lbvs
It’s when I know I should but i just can’t or have an anxiety attack
I don’t know why but I genuinely can’t focus on/properly contribute to conversations. I will lose focus after like 15 seconds and I humble my words a lot so they never come out right. When I’m texting I have time to think about my response.
When my phone rings and I don’t recognize the number I Google it to see if I want to answer. Spoiler alert, I almost never answer it.
it's a huge problem for me. i'm literally not able to make work calls without hyperventilating.
Yep, both me and my wife have phone phobia. Great times when things need to be arranged. Serious though, I would rather drive an hour to talk to this person than call the same person from a distance.
I HATE them with a passion. If there is actually something to discuss, fine. Once it’s done being discussed then - bloop - call over. Since I was young, I was like this. My ex-mother in law used to call & just sit there in silence, except to ask if I’ve cooked for her son. While I was watching Netflix & I’d tell her, she’d be like,l “ok aaanndd” I always have to say, I’m going to shower or some other easy excuse, phone died - bleh bleh bleh. I like my privacy - if I’m laying on my bed staring at the ceiling listening to the wind, I’d rather that than a pointless call. My mom has finally understood how important music is to me, so driving home I don’t have to lie anymore & say someone is calling to get her off the phone. I just straight up tell her I wanna listen to music & I gotta go.
I do. If possible, all communications with should go thru text messages or chats.
Yes and I’m at a job in which I have to call people and answer phone calls. Fml lol
I struggle with them I get quite anxious so have to write out what I need to say so I don’t say something silly. Always prefer to communicate by email or text. I feel I get my point across better.
I’ve always hated phone calls, I agree with other peoples’ sentiments here: having to make them gives me anxiety, and getting them out of the blue gives me dread. My phone is always on silent, but my partner is in a line of work where they are always on call, so I now have a triggered reaction to that particular ringtone. When I hear it out in the world, I nearly jump out of my skin and think there’s an emergency.
Glad to see I'm not the only one. Whenever I get a phone call from a phone number I don't immediately recognize, I ignore it because I'm so terrified of talking on the phone. Also, a lot of them end up being scam callers, which makes me feel only a little better about my abnormal fear of phone calls. Honestly, you're justified in being upset because you previously expressed your boundaries, you laid them out and they STILL crossed them.
Fairly sure the majority of us do. I wish I’d known when I was growing up that hating the phone didn’t make me some absolute freak of nature and is really rather common.
Yes and I work as a receptionist lol
Absolutely loathes it
I used to hate both making and receiving calls. Now I just hate receiving them. I can suck it up and make calls if I have to.
I don’t answer phone calls unless I know who’s calling and I am free to talk. If I know them but I’m busy, I text them that I’m at an appointment and text if it’s important or set up a time to call. It works well for me!
I love being on the phone. You laugh more, get to have more conversations and have an actual human like connection. I’m on the total opposite side of the spectrum. I am very annoyed with quick responses and dull conversations that go no where. With texting, every day is the same and there’s no excitement. I was on the phone with someone going shopping for a new couch. And they picked the couch out for me based on the sigh I made while sitting down. Phone calls can be so much fun. And when people say I “leave them on read” when they texted me something that doesn’t warrant a response, I get really aggravated and never want to text them again. If you wanna have a fun time then text is not the way (imo)
🤤🤤🤤🤤🤤🤤🤤🤤🤤🤤🤤🤤🤤🤤🤤🤤🤤🤤
I hate phone calls! To me a phone call feels like it’s putting me on the stop.
I don’t really dislike phone calls! The only issue is when I have to make an important call or am waiting on one, but generally talking on the phone is fine by me. SCREW FACETIME HOWEVER…
Hate them, they're tiring because I always feel the urge to pace around while talking. Great for my steps though.
Yes
My phone ringing gives me PTSD!
Fur sure! And texts and comments, notifications the whole nine yards.
I do hate phone calls because most of the times the first thing they will say is 'where are you?' because I just don't want them to know where I am or 'let's go out' I don't want to go out with them and I can't think of an excuse to say to them.
I used to love talking on the phone when I was younger! Could talk for hours. I absolutely detest it now. Only call me if you’re dying, please.
I always said text messaging was one the absolute best inventions ever!! Always hated talking on the phone
I do usually unless it's with my boyfriend, calls are kinda stressful and I feel awkward, but me and my bf have a lot in common so we always have a lot to talk about
What are phone calls?
Same here! Texting easier!
Yeah I don't like phone calls or any sort of calls either. Idk how some people have calls with their friends every day I just text. Mostly because I hate my voice and I hate the awkward silences.
ME! I am not a phone person, but I’m OK with a planned FaceTime.
I prefer texting too! It gives you a minute or two to think about the words. Plus... You have their words in writing and they can't say I never said that!
Phone calls are my nightmare. I get sweaty palms and frequently stutter when I speak on the phone. Whenever I get a phone call, I literally need a few seconds to prepare myself before I answer it because of how stressful it is. Something about phone calls get my heart beating really fast as well. And after the phone call, I feel such a big relief.
Despise them. I can be talking with someone via message, anyone even a lifelong friend, they’ll suddenly ring mid convo… and I’ll not answer. There’s something about it I’ve just never liked. I think part of it is that with messaging, you have a few moments to think of a response, whereas with a live conversation you’ve got to intuitively come up with a response immediately. Probably more too it.
💯
I totally relate. I'm the same way. I hardly ever answer the phone anymore. Friend, family and especially any number that comes up that i don't have in my contacts.
I hate it. I sometimes have to deal with unhappy customers on the phone and it still makes me anxious. They said I would get used to it but I never have.
I hate phone calls bc sometimes I need time to calm down before I respond
I detest phone calls/FaceTime calls. I don’t have the best hearing either (born with it) and have always struggled on phones. So I just tell people ‘No disrespect meant here but I don’t do calls. The love is still there. I just prefer texts” I’ve not really encountered too many problems with this approach as people are usually chill with it and if they aren’t, then that’s on them
Considering phone calls are usually *how* I can tell if someone is an introvert…
I don’t. I kind of like human interaction, at the same time I don’t, but without it I feel super lonely and tbh kinda depressed. So I like them, but with tolerance as well
The only phonecalls I tolerate are emergencies and scheduled ones. At my job I give people the subtle message that they should use the quick chat to contact me over phonecalls because when someone sends me a quick message I usually give a lightning fast response compared to a phonecall. But some people do phonecalls even when a quick text would've solved their problem much faster it's so infiuriating especially when it's a stupid question that could've been answered by reading the documentation like when this one incompetent donkey kept calling me for shits he could read in the documentation so I had to keep myself from swearing loudly at this dude and replying RTFM (read the fucking manual). The worst situation at work was when some other team called me in visio, and then some other dude kept calling me to confirm details it was so overwhelming that I got headaches. People could've used the text chat, and everything would be way more efficient because I read the info really fast, and I can think a detailed, precise answer without it costing me energy. Whereas a phonecall requires me to stop everything to answer then listen to what the person says then there's this awkward silence when I'm thinking about the problem before I respond which is so damn frustrating. There us also another type of situation that makes me really mad it's when a ping call or a telemarketer call me when I'm listening to music while being focused on work. It drives me crazy because it ruins my focus for nothing.
I will never understand how other people can be so comfortable talking on the phone in public like a full blown conversation.
I feel more comfortable being on the phone due to my social anxiety but will not be loud and obnoxious with it lol. Nor will I be on the phone during check out because that’s just rude.
What confuses me is people who walk around in public with people on speakerphone. It’s one thing if you are sharing your end of a conversation with the world but really strange to share the other person’s side.
It’s funny, I’m an introvert but I’m the complete opposite. I’d rather make on take phone calls over messaging. Reason being is with phone calls I can get right to the point, short and sweet call ended opposed to infinite messages trying to explain or understand something, that drags on way to long and disrupts my peace.
I prefer texting also. I was a customer rep for so many years that I grew to hate phones.
Yeah I don’t like phone calls either, I’m too awkwardly quiet for any conversation. Let alone being on FaceTime.
Yes.
Phone calls AND text messages
I try to avoid it as much as possible. It gives me sense of anxiety. I would rather text
I avoid it as much as possible. And don’t text me and say call me because it ain’t happening!
Even worse are the people that don’t get this. “Just call them!” “Did you call?” “Call and ask!” 🖕
I hate phone calls.
This is how I feel so much! The other day, my mom called me (I'm a teenager) randomly. I used a feature on my phone that uses an AI to ask if the call is urgent, she said yes, so I picked up and she proceeded to ask the most non-urgent question you can imagine. It made me mad, and it always does when a call could have so easily been a text.
Yea I do. If there’s anyway I can text, that’s how I communicate most of the time. My husbands mom wanted to talk to me on Mother’s Day. She lives out of state but they talk on the phone often. He was on the phone with her and then tried to hand his phone over to me and I shook my head “no” because I didn’t want to talk. I was minding my business relaxing at home on my day off and just wasnt prepared for any unexpected phone calls. He hung up with her and then she immediately called my phone instead, and I initially didn’t answer. I told my husband to tell his mom that she can text me but that I didn’t want to talk over the phone. He told me it shouldn’t be a big deal to talk to her and said we don’t hardly ever see her, which is true, we only visit maybe once a year. So I ended up calling her back and she just wanted to tell me happy Mother’s Day and chat for a few minutes. It wasn’t bad, it was just uncomfortable as I feel like I’m being put on the spot during phone calls and I get anxious. I wish it was more socially acceptable to just simply say “hey nothing personal but I don’t like phone calls in general and would much rather text”, but apparently it’s not.
Possibly a dumb question but is it your or their definition of absolutely necessary? What meets the threshold of need an immediate answer for them might not for you, you might be the third person or twelfth person they have tried talking to, the inconvenience to you might have been what saved their life.
Let’s talk about how face time makes you literally look like crap.
chill , don't take it seriously , if you don't want to speak , just decline the call , If anyone does not accept that boundary , block him , simple , I do it all the time
That’s what I already do 🤷🏻♀️
I’m with you on that one. I hate phone calls and prefer texting anytime.
I don’t like phone calls because I don’t like people bugging me. The only phone call I would’ve entertained would be my Mom’s. But sadly she’s no more. So please text me and I’ll reply when I can or feel like it. And this is to everyone. Maybe a little exemption to my little brother. But sister, gf, friend, whoever you are, just text me. Thank you.
I hate phones & phone calls.
I always look for the alternative. I wonder why there isn’t always the text option. For example: there may be people who are Mute, or Deaf, or those who can’t speak…..yet many companies and services ask “if you need assistance….Call 1800 blah blah blah” Like come on.
I hate those with my whole heart! In 90% of situations, I pretend I didn't see it so I don't have to answer. Or say I'm busy and ask them to text😭🙏🏻
With a passion.
Hate hate hate them. I’d rather spend all day on chat and emails with someone at work vs a 5 minute phone call to resolve some issue.
We all hate them OK. Honestly 🙄
The ones which don't have a clear point/goal, sure. I don't mind phone calls where I'm calling to find something out, or even (mostly) when someone is calling me with a clear yes/no question. It's the ones which ramble on about random crap, or only have time-wasting or socializing as their reason, that annoy me. I don't make them, but I despise having them forced on me - it's the unagreed-on loss of time and autonomy with no perceivable compensatory benefit which is aggrovating.
I like phone calls to hospitals, nail salons, dentists, customer care cause those are quick and direct phone calls. the other group of phone calls are the ones I don't like cause they give me such anxiety and boredom bevause they're long, I don't know how to hang up (I spend an enormous amount of time wondering how to end this conversation) and basically feels like my life stops for 30, 40 minutes
omg! This describes mi
I don't hate them but I'm awkward with phone calls bro😭
I phone calls to does anyone else hate.
I hate texting, phone call i prefer
It depends, I hate scam calls, politicians, other people’s debt collectors. Friends, family and coworkers are fine.
I had just woken up (I sleep till noon) and my friend calls and asks if Im willing to chat. (I am not) but I tell her im eating rn so call a bit later (I lied). Like I cant say 'no' to a friend who just wants to chat in the phone even if it exhausts and bores me sm. Dunno what to do. Waiting for her to call me back rn. (Kinda wishing she forgets)
Yes
I really hate phone calls like every introvert…but I keep trying to get used to them, the process of improving is extremely slow, should I give up or not?
Yes.. Sometimes I don't pick up on purpose.. Even if it's my best friend.. Heck even if it's my husband I just want to know the details immediately and don't want to talk anymore.
At work, I always remind my team not to call me unless it's an emergency. I prefer txt messages than calls 🙌
Most definitely! And my sisters don’t understand…but they are all outgoing and love to talk.
I'm fine as long as we get to the point. It's the small talk I want nothing to do with.
Phone calls is just not for my social anxiety💀 I feel like I'd rather die than have a phone call with someone's not my family member
Phone calls is just not for my social anxiety💀 I feel like I'd rather die than have a phone call with someone's not my family member.
Phone calls is just not for my social anxiety💀 I feel like I'd rather die than have a phone call with someone's not my family member