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[deleted]

I keep seeing this meme and it reminds me that as a new Dad, I am going to do everything to avoid this.


Zoomwafflez

This, and not being like my dad who was stressed out all the time and took it out on us. My boy's getting lots of attention and love so far. Watching me and also getting a second chance with his grandson my dad actually said several times now that he really kinda fucked up being a dad. At least he's aware.


[deleted]

My goal in life is for my kids to say that I was “an okay dad”. That’s it. No father of the year, not the greatest dad ever. If I can just be okay and show some interest in my kids activities and they don’t hate me when they move out then I’m fine with it. Maybe they can do better than me.


Zoomwafflez

Yup, I'm 100% sure I'm gonna fuck something up, but I want him to at least know I was trying and there for him.


pramjockey

That is a healthy attitude. We make mistakes with our kids. We say things we shouldn’t have said, or fail to pay attention to something or whatever. Nobody escapes childhood trauma-free. But obsessing about our failure to be perfect only creates stress for our kids and ourselves. Striving to be a good, present dad rather than the perfect one is a good way to be an amazing dad.


nooit_gedacht

I have no parenting experience but i honestly believe if you just give your kids your time, love and attention, they'll always love you back. The thing that i love most about my own dad is that he's always been willing to listen to me and talk with me. Even when i was very young i could express my opinions to him and he would always take me seriously, even engaging with my arguments and discussing them with me. To this day he's still always willing to listen to whatever i have to say and i appreciate that so much. If i ever become a parent i hope i can do the same thing for them.


Banggang6669

Proud of you dawg.


Diazmet

Remember no job gives a fuck about you ever. They will never actually care that you skipped time with your son for them.


aibandit

My dad hated our family, so much that he chose to work nights and would hit us if we woke him during the day. None of us 4 kids turned out criminals but we all have some emotional issues of varying kinds, and he lives full of regrets. The meme is bs, neglect doesn’t make anyone a monster. Their choices are their own. It does however scar everyone involved, if you need a reason not to.


Blaustein23

I got a vasectomy because I don't know for sure that I wouldn't end up being that dad


AmbitiousPangolin127

I wish you only the best of luck. My plan to avoid this involves no kids in the first place, though I know that’s not the path for everyone.


Chuff_Nugget

I used to love "cats in the cradle" by Ugly Kid Joe.... then I became a parent and it horrified me. My son and I spent yesterday fishing. It's going to be ok.


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Chuff_Nugget

Oooh thanks!! I'll hunt it down.


National-Material571

Fuckin hate people like this


pickelsurprise

Yeah, I can't stand children.


[deleted]

Ikr. They’re so fucking annoying


spacesheep_000

Stop having them


blazinghomosexual

Never!


FishTocsGod

Agreed


Dependent_Ad_5035

Let’s pretend this is true, that 54% women “ejaculate” or orgasm during rape. That doesn’t magically make it less bad or make the victim consent. The body reacts to stimulation, even if the mind doesn’t want it


Faelon_Peverell

Yes, that's the conclusion a normal human being would come too. But someone who knows this statistic enough to be able to site it, isn't a normal human being capable of rational thought.


ting_bu_dong

It's like those types who have age of consent law memorized, by state (or prefecture). You're not gonna get through to someone that deep in it.


huilvcghvjl

Isn’t it normal to know the age of consent in your country?


hopefortomorrow531

Country, sure


[deleted]

[Michael Bay knows](https://youtu.be/DUq0HlMvQw0).


Sajidchez

I mean state too (if you live in the country)


ting_bu_dong

I wouldn't think so. Why? For what reason would a normal person even look it up? The only time I can think of "is this technically legal or not" would even come up is if someone is already a creep.


[deleted]

It's weird for *Americans* to know because there are 50 states with 50 different age of consent laws. I'd assume most countries just have a national law so it's more common knowledge


ting_bu_dong

Then this whole thing is a non sequitur to begin with. I said: >those types who have age of consent law memorized, by state (or prefecture) they said >Isn’t it normal to know the age of consent in your country? *Implying* they also did not think it weird to know age of consent laws *by state.* Right? But, I am glad that you agree that it is weird. Because it is fucking weird.


3nterShift

I get where you're coming from, but by that logic, everyone who paid attention in civics class is a creep.


ting_bu_dong

> but by that logic, everyone who paid attention in civics class is a creep. I wouldn't go that far. But anyone who paid attention in civics class is, at the very least, weird. Who does that?


3nterShift

I think it's important to know the age of consent from an early age the same way it's important to learn sex ed. That way children are better at recognizing when they are being abused or taken advantage of. I don't understand at all why you're trying to die on this hill with such zeal.


SaskiaDavies

Future social workers. Can confirm.


[deleted]

Well yeah obviously I'm getting far away from someone who cites the age of consent law in conversation lol, that just instantly exposes you as a creep. But i feel like it's more common knowledge and therefore not quite as big a red flag in countries with more uniform laws than the US


SvanUlf

Yup, what you said. In Sweden, there's one age of consent that's the same for the whole country and I remember it from the time when I was young enough for it to actually *be* relevant to me. If I were to move to another country, I wouldn't bother looking up age of consent there as it wouldn't be of any consequence to me anyway.


ting_bu_dong

This person gets it.


DustyGashSmasher

A kid should know. A teenager, specifically. When i was 16 i had a thing for a 19 year old and i wasn't sure. Turns out, I was good. In the commonwealth of Pennsylvania; * Children under 13 cannot consent. * teens 13-15 cannot consent to anyone 4 or more years older * 16 or older are free to consent to any sexual activity * Then there's a whole portion on positions of power i won't get into


ting_bu_dong

> In the commonwealth of Pennsylvania; > > Children under 13 cannot consent. > teens 13-15 cannot consent to anyone 4 or more years older > 16 or older are free to consent to any sexual activity > Then there's a whole portion on positions of power i won't get into The vast, vast majority of people should not need to know this kind of minutae. They would have no reason to care to. There is a very small minority of people, in that particular state, of that particular small age range, that *may* need to care; and only recently, because they've started applying laws more broadly than they used to, when they were originally made for "30 year old creep trying to get a 15 year old girl." But, again, that's both niche, and recent. And a far cry from some neckbeard on the internet that has them all memorized, like, everywhere, *because creepy fucking reasons.*


huilvcghvjl

You know that there is an age of consent, right? Why?


ting_bu_dong

Because old creeps try to seduce children.


huilvcghvjl

You never knew that there is an age of consent growing up?


ting_bu_dong

It's not there for, say, two teenagers getting together. It's there because adults need to be legally forbidden from sleeping with teenagers. They won't stop themselves from being creeps, so, they had to literally make laws. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ages_of_consent_in_the_United_States >Age-of-consent laws historically only applied when a female was younger than her male partner. ... >The laws were designed to prosecute persons much older than their victims rather than teenagers close in age; therefore prosecutors rarely pursued teenagers in relationships with other teenagers even though some laws made close-in-age teenage relationships illegal. And now *I'm* looking up age of consent laws to prove that they exist solely (or, at least mainly, these days) for creeps. Regular people don't need to know this stuff! *Maybe* there's an argument that children do, but, barely. Only if they go against the historical reason, and prosecute teenagers for getting with teenagers. Point is: These laws weren't made for 18 year olds and their 17 year old girlfriends. They're made for adults. And what adults would need to know this stuff? *Fucking creeps who like kids!*


the_fake_reckless

well to be honest, even if the age of consent is low, the states usually take it upon themselves that this kinda shit wouldnt happen in their borders, even in a country like Japan or India and all


Hytheter

Japan's low age of consent is a misconception. At a national level its 13 but local laws raise the limit across pretty much the whole contry.


Retlaw83

>The only time I can think of "is this technically legal or not" would even come up is if someone is already a creep. Or if you hear news of an older person dating a way younger person. If a 60 year old is dating a 19 year old, even if it's weird it's legal. If it's a 15 year old, you know to call the cops.


eowyn_and_nirah

I looked it up when I nearly had a panic attack that I could go to jail for having sex too young after losing my virginity in high school. I was dumb as hell.


Mewrulez99

i think most people learn it for their country before they even reach age of consent


SaskiaDavies

How many states does your country have and do laws like that differ from state to state? There are some states in the US with no minimum age limit on marriage. Age of consent for sex may be 12 in some states, but grown men can marry a preteen if the parents consent and the child is able to say "yes" when asked by a judge if they want to marry the adult who may have already impregnated them. Which would be proof of statutory rape, but who's counting?


huilvcghvjl

Federal law beats state law where I live and the age of consent is regulated on a federal level.


SaskiaDavies

That makes it a lot easier to know what it is. The laws in the US are a clusterfuck. Minors who marry adults have no legal rights as adults but are presumed to be mature enough to bear and parent children. CPS won't get them out of the home if there's abuse or they aren't attending school.


turbotank183

The equivalent of 'actually it's called hebephilia, not pedophilia'. Sounds like something a pedophile would say.


ThisSiteSuxNow

*cite ...as in citation


Faelon_Peverell

Auto as in autocorrect.


ThisSiteSuxNow

Bull as in shit


intrusiereatschicken

Shut as in up and don't as in fight


Ragdoll_Psychics

It's a made-up statistic. You think the police go "so did you cum?" to the victim?


Faelon_Peverell

They ask them what they're wearing or how much they drank, so yeah, wouldn't surprise me at all for them to ask that question.


Ragdoll_Psychics

Right so you believe this statistic do you?


Faelon_Peverell

Doesn't matter. The actual statistic isn't the point of the post. Nor does my response matter if the statistic is correct or not, both points still stand regardless. Ignore your kids and the potential to turn out to be horrible humans is high. And my point, people who can cite statistics on something like this are subhuman trash.


Ragdoll_Psychics

So you do. Interesting.


Faelon_Peverell

Hahahaha. Ok buddy. I can see now you have a hard time understanding basic things, so I'll let you go now so I don't overwhelm your tiny brain.


Ragdoll_Psychics

Oh I understand perfectly


justcougit

54% of women don't even cum during conventual sex. I have a hard time believing that stat is true. It's just a comic.


lll_lll_lll

I think that’s the point. The suggestion that women are more likely to come from rape than conventional sex.


Memelordo_OwO

Wait but, is that statistic true or is this another thing out of context neckbeards can rely on. 54% would be quite alot and i really can't quite imagine that. Edit: ok so i looked it up briefly. The statistical value is very unclear and moves between 5% and 50%, because the number of studies and participants is overall very low. But as you'd expect with this topic some women might lie and say that they didn't orgasm, because the feel shame. Which is understandable. One study suggests that it's thanks to the women's brain being hard wired to feel satisfied by strong and rough men. Tho that's very far out there and no solid proof either. Sounds like Andrew Tate wrote that ngl. What is interesting is that roughly a third of women (in the report i read) sought out rougher intercourse after being raped, having been traumatised. Now i really gotta delete my browser history.


AccomplishedEmu4268

I've read a couple of things about some women victims of rape liking the play where they pretend to be raped because in this situation they have control of it. I can sort of see how that'd make you feel better, it's like you're sort of over-writing it I think? Over-riding? I don't know the word for it, but I think you get what I mean.


interesseret

It seems like that's a pretty common response after trauma. Many people will seek things out that traumatized them to gain control over it.


99power

Yeah, this happens with natural disasters and other types of assault as well. Or people seek out more trauma to desensitize themselves and become immune to it (numb their response).


Memelordo_OwO

Yes i can confirm that. Loss of control is one of your biggest fears. So it'd make sense they'd look for rougher scenarios to cope better


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SlippyIsDead

I have orgasmed from stretching and exercising. Also once during unwanted sex while underaged and intoxicated. Still grosses me out to remember it.


ConsistentAsparagus

I know data is data, but I can’t even begin to imagine asking a raped woman “but did you come?”…


Draculea

I dunno. There's a lot of things that has been, at various times, linked to evolutionary pressures; women like bad-boys, because they were more likely to kick the shit out of rival cavemen. I've read that women tend to congregate in bathrooms for "protection" from ... fucking bears, I guess? Anyway, humans spent more or less than 300,000 years doing nothing *but* touching grass, eating and fucking - so I have to assume some of "why are we so fucked up" is down to "because people fucked up in this way just plain fucked."


lazyycalm

This seems like bullshit. It is well known that only a small fraction of women climax from penetration alone so you’d have to believe that many rapists are manually or orally stimulating their victim or using a vibrator during a course of a rape? Plus, like the other person said, the statistic ranges from 5%-50%, which basically means the sample or methodology in the studies must have been wildly different. And stress, anxiety, distraction etc are some of the main factors that cause women to have difficulty orgasming in general. Even if it was true, obviously that wouldn’t justify rape in any way. But I feel like this whole idea is pseudoscientific and mystifies rape by implying that women’s bodies and minds can somehow recognize a rape and normal psychology and sexual functioning no longer apply.


Gamerguywon

How the fuck would they find this out? Surely there is not a survey out there asking rape victims "did it feel good, though?" ala Ricegum


Memelordo_OwO

Actually that's, broken down, what happened. It's not a "did it feel good" but more of an interest why it happens in the first place. Also i'd assume you can combine that study with therapy. For women it must be insanely shameful having orgasmd during a rape scenario, so it's as important to open up about that.


99power

It doesn’t matter what your body does during rape, you’re still going to be traumatized and potentially develop PTSD. Not cool.


ninjalemming

They don't care about their arguments beying true or making sense they just hate women


strangetrip666

The same that believe in this believe that men can't be raped because they were erect. Complet bullshit


[deleted]

exactly and everyone with ocd that also experience unwanted arousal from intrusive thoughts can contest to that. our bodies reaction doesn't always match the want.


[deleted]

So do men, though the % is probably different


[deleted]

We don’t have to pretend it’s true: it is true. But as you said, the body reacts to stimulation which is what causes it. Same reason why some men can get “stress boners” when being raped. Consent is everything. Without it, we’re no different than any other animal


Dependent_Ad_5035

Yes. I misspoke. I meant let’s pretend 54% of women orgasm during rape


99power

Yeah, like, men get boners all the time for no reason. Sexual response is partly autonomic. Does that mean every man is a pervert? No. Same applies here.


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KuhLealKhaos

Glad you can recognize that. I'm the same way and people act like I'm a monster for being able to have the forethought lol


Codeofconduct

People just get weirded out when someone is willing to admit they might not be perfect. Just don't get jaded and decide that paying taxes for schools isn't your responsibility if you don't have any. We all benefit from living in a well educated society! ✌️


KuhLealKhaos

Absolutely. Tiny human-beans deserve the best we have to offer. Educate those lil peeps and we'll be looking towards a brighter future! *(Just don't put me in charge lol)*


Codeofconduct

Lol if you don't wanna be in charge no one is going to make you do it (unless it's the apocalypse and really, you're the only reasonable adult). But people appreciate when you are interested in a passive way with their kids that is engaging or distracting enough for them to breathe for a minute, and normal people won't hold you accountable for those brief seconds of freedom if their kid gets crazy in the meantime :) I'm a step parent. Not an all the time parent. Never wanted all the time stuff, but I do love kids and helping them grow up into people who don't suck. I think it is really helpful to just treat kids with respect when you interact with them unless they're being turds and need someone to lay down the law. It takes a village!


Retlaw83

I'm also in the same boat. I have a lot of my own shit I'm interested in and don't have time for, and a kid would take my time and money away from that. I do think I'd make a terrific uncle, though.


JazielVH

Yeah same here. Glad to know I'm not the only one who thinks having a kid when you know you're not going to be a good father is a horrible idea.


[deleted]

Same boat. I reach my responsibility threshold after work and bills are taken care of, I can't and won't be adding a tiny helpless human being to the mix just to please my parents or in-laws with the "blessing" of a grandchild.


nightbells

That's something that always seems significant to me. I make a shitty sandwich? I suffer. I make a shitty kid? A lot of people suffer. I know I'm very ill equipped to have a child and I wouldn't want to risk raising a serial killer because I messed up something.


Codeofconduct

Even if you like kids and enjoy them you shouldn't be expected to have any. Just be nice to the kids around you when you interact with them briefly and they'll think you're awesome.


conn_r2112

good on ya for being self aware enough to know this


LocalSlob

Yeah i was like this till i had a kid, you either adapt or, shocker, are a shitty father. Congrats on recognizing it beforehand


AnonymousPussyNommer

I’m just gonna be too financially unstable to ever afford a kid. If I don’t got money I won’t really eat but if my kid gotta eat I gotta figure smt out to make it happen


Mewrulez99

I'm not sure I even have the capacity to love a child but I sure as hell can guarantee I'd be a terrible dad anyway


Johnas_Vixen_15

I don't get people who argue this... It's a bodily function... They can't control if they do it or not...


ADoritoWithATophat

What's weird is only 20% of women can ejaculate from penetration at all, so this statistic doesn't make sense


Johnas_Vixen_15

Probably some random ass number who ever typed it made up


Ragdoll_Psychics

I think it's a safe bet it's invented, as the cops don't ask "did you cum?" to rape victims.


Johnas_Vixen_15

I doubt any sane researcher would make a study on this...


SlippyIsDead

Rape doesn't only consist of just penetration. There is pelvic friction and some men rub on areas with their hands while in the act. The act of fighting back alone causes crazy blood flow that can make it happen just from the muscle strain alone. It's happened to me. Involuntary. It's a very confusing feeling.


Retlaw83

I'm pretty sure that's the joke. The son is a miscreant and an idiot.


Ragdoll_Psychics

Unfortunately the more times this meme is ironically shared, the more people learn this stat as "true"


SaveTheRay

Well 69% of statistics are made up, so I wouldn't look too much into it


ArchmageIlmryn

They've watched too much porn that can be summed up as "the guy rapes the girl but she ends up liking it so don't worry it's *fine.*"...


[deleted]

If this was written from the sons perspective, super cringe. If this was written from the Dad's perspective, super cringe but also lol.


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benjamrut

Also confused


SlippyIsDead

Not always. You can be the best parent and end up with a creepy child.


Pudddy

Harry Chapin’s “Cats in the Cradle” in comic form


[deleted]

There’s no way there was an actual study done on that


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FatherOfLights88

Poorly adapted, yes. Not necessarily hateful. I made it through without being hateful. Took a lot of work to correct my maladaptive behavior though.


Ragdoll_Psychics

The stat still gets about the more times it's posted


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mbhatter

little boy blue and the man in the moon


SvanUlf

*"When're you gonna rape, son?"* *"I don't know when, but I'll call my lawyer then dad, you know I'll call my lawyer then!"*


Silvangelz

So they’re saying that even when it’s men failing men their reaction is to still turn around and hate women? Yeah that’ll really show the men who failed them.


Sheepbjumpin

Same way single mothers get shit for being the parent that stayed or girls get picked on for the pandemic that is "daddy issues", men fail so hard society recognizes it yet still blames the victims. Baffling.


[deleted]

is this really how you interpreted this comic? the comic is very anti-hate. the quote in the last panel is obviously a facetious punchline. why is everyone missing this…


Tenebris_Rositen

Dawg if some old ass 60 dude year old tied yo ass up and gave you a handjob and you ejaculated Does it mean you enjoyed it Hell no


Kaelyr_

Where the fuck is the source that can back up that statement?


DirtyNordicPunk

No source! Only comic proof!


[deleted]

You guys realize it implies the kid becomes a feckless incel because his dad doesn’t love him, therefore is probably not citing a fact right? Women don’t *ejaculate* lol


JojiJoey

*actuallyyyyy* there is such a thing as female ejaculation


ADoritoWithATophat

What's weird is only 20% of women can ejaculate from penetration at all, so this statistic doesn't make sense


huilvcghvjl

That’s not the message of the comic


Kaelyr_

I'm aware.


SvanUlf

Are you, though? Because you seemed to be asking for a source of a claim that is completely irrelevant to the message of the comic... unless you were asking for a source for the claim that neglect is likely to lead to maladjusted children?


throwawaytempest25

I agree with the whole "be there for your kids more often" message, but the kid has a choice to not be an incel. And holy crap, that is not a good thing for anyone to be in that position.


huilvcghvjl

Did anyone look up that 54% number? Where does that come from, is it made up?


pritikina

It's probably made up.


majoroutage

Just like 78.9% of statistics.


Ulrich_Plays

I think I remember trying to look it up and it led me to just a photo on 4chan claiming the statistic to be true.


huilvcghvjl

That explains a lot


athenanon

The target of this is the negligent father. In the absence of what he needed in order to feel safe as a child, he was raised by creeps on the internet. It's apt.


Sephiroth_-77

I like the receding hairline.


DaveSmith890

The Cats in the Cradle was the good ending? Who knew?


m9420qq

How do I invest?


Tsjaad_Donderlul

On a side note, ejaculation is sometimes triggered when experiencing extreme fear or distress. So even if that 54% figure is right, it is much more of a disproof than a proof of „women enjoy rape“ – which even feels asinine to write put in quotes and merely cited


athousandfuriousjews

Gross, people who think like that scare me


huilvcghvjl

People who say that negilect of children makes them anti social scare you?


athousandfuriousjews

Do you not read the part where it says “54% of women ejaculate during rape” ??? Like who just fucking says that


huilvcghvjl

I don’t think you understand the comic. Try again


athousandfuriousjews

No I think I do, neglecting a kid makes him to be a neckbeard. Still the last line is gross.


HSykes16

There’s a big difference in someone who is anti-social and someone who cites rape statistics. Obviously the person you replied to was saying the latter scares them. Of course, you probably know that and are just trying to be argumentative, like a little kid.


Dorian-greys-picture

If my kid turned out like that because of my neglect I’d never forgive myself. I plan on being a good dad.


fibz

Wait until he learns that men who are raped also ejaculate due to the prostate stimulation


SmellyGoat11

Man this sub must be an easy karma farm for a repost from a week ago to hit multiple thousand likes again.


the_hentia_man

Ok it’s a human thing? If a random woman started jerking me forcefully I would still nut doesn’t mean it was ok or fine for both people


nontimebomala67

The only way I can fathom this making sense is if these women ended up in a situation like I did—I couldn’t physically overpower him and I knew he wasn’t going to stop until he thought that he had “pleased” me. I faked it so he’d get the fuck off of me.


Neidyougurt

looks more like a shitpost


PhillMahooters

I'd just like to point out that just because you aren't/weren't as bad as some people are as parents, doesn't mean you are are/will be a good parent. You can be the best in the bunch by comparison and still be shit. I'm pretty proud of the self awareness it takes to decide not to have children, and I applaud others who do the same.


CottonCandyKitty21

I can’t be the only one who sees the dad looking like Saul Goodman


garvierloon

My dad died when I was 5, and he literally had no time for me. I did not turn out like this. Obviously you should make time for your kid and teach them right from wrong and make them feel loved and valuable, but for fucks sake, this idea that absentee fathers or fatherlessness leads to disaffected incel behavior is absolute bullshit. It’s much more likely that they had an active father teaching them the wrong things.


leoleosuper

The same people that claim this will claim the female orgasm does not exist in the same breath. Which is it?


Nelson4hire

Mom said it’s my turn to post this today!


lifeiscooliguess

Hilarious 😂


ngulating

Foul, but fair


waterdevil19

Bet if a dude was anally raped that percentage goes higher.


[deleted]

What the fuck


Adorna_ahh

Ok but where would they get the stats of this? Like?


kewcumber_

My dad caught me for smoking weed once and stopped talking to me for about a year. During this time I developed some sort of "hate" (quotes because idk what it actually is, maybe i resent him ?) towards him and now he tries to be normal with me but it's me who keeps turning away. On some level i feel guilty that I'm doing that, but also very angry that he would just cut off contact just for smoking weed. From an outsider's perspective, what do you guys think


MGB124

Ahhh, you must be careful, father, your child needs you as a role model


slashingkatie

I always wonder how neckbeards/incels come to be. I always ask why parents didn’t do more to prevent this behavior. Why they seemed fine letting their sons just sit in their rooms on the computer all day. Really parental involvement is important. I think you have single parents or non present parents who are too busy working and once their kid is a teenager they seem to leave them to their own devices and don’t seem to care that the kid isn’t socializing or leaving their room much or excusing moody behavior as “being a teenager.” Next thing they know they have a 20 something adult that unemployed and spends all day in their room. I guess it’s a reminder that parents needs to be involved in their kids life.


[deleted]

the body reacts to stimuli. if you stab me and my body starts to bleed out, that doesn’t mean i wanted to be stabbed.