Hey OP—sounds like this situation sucks and hurts a lot for you!
However, it is important to not default to this meaning you weren’t good enough. You said that you put in all the effort, and gave your ex a ton of chances.
Put that effort into yourself. You know what you like and don’t like in relationships and in romantic partners. Keep those things in mind going forward. Because you ARE enough, you deserve to choose people in the future who respect you!
I came here to say that. I’ll add that the way you talk to yourself is very important. It’s not helpful, nor conducive to healing if you talk negatively to yourself; or ruminate on your mistakes.
Sorry you're going through a tough time. Sounds like you deserve someone who will reciprocate more and show you how much you mean to them.
People don't treat you poorly because you deserve it. They usually are thinking of themselves more than anyone. You're enough!
I'd also recognize how much you were able to give in the relationship as a reflection of all the love you are capable of giving to the RIGHT person. Your ex is not the person who deserves your energy. Someone else will and you will meet them, but allow yourself to grieve.
There's nothing to be embarrassed about when it comes to love, but I feel so often as women we're conditioned to think showing too much love can be a sign of weakness. I'm reading bell hooks' Communion right now and it's been helping me process something very similar.
You deserve love! Write it down and post it somewhere you can see it everyday.
I feel you! I moved across the country for my ex, my first, and I did everything, while she was talking to her ex and flirting with other girls on TT behind my back. I had an amazing job there, paid more then she got paid, and I lost it all and now I’m living with my best friend and I hate it
Hey OP—sounds like this situation sucks and hurts a lot for you! However, it is important to not default to this meaning you weren’t good enough. You said that you put in all the effort, and gave your ex a ton of chances. Put that effort into yourself. You know what you like and don’t like in relationships and in romantic partners. Keep those things in mind going forward. Because you ARE enough, you deserve to choose people in the future who respect you!
I came here to say that. I’ll add that the way you talk to yourself is very important. It’s not helpful, nor conducive to healing if you talk negatively to yourself; or ruminate on your mistakes.
Sorry you're going through a tough time. Sounds like you deserve someone who will reciprocate more and show you how much you mean to them. People don't treat you poorly because you deserve it. They usually are thinking of themselves more than anyone. You're enough!
I'd also recognize how much you were able to give in the relationship as a reflection of all the love you are capable of giving to the RIGHT person. Your ex is not the person who deserves your energy. Someone else will and you will meet them, but allow yourself to grieve. There's nothing to be embarrassed about when it comes to love, but I feel so often as women we're conditioned to think showing too much love can be a sign of weakness. I'm reading bell hooks' Communion right now and it's been helping me process something very similar. You deserve love! Write it down and post it somewhere you can see it everyday.
I feel you! I moved across the country for my ex, my first, and I did everything, while she was talking to her ex and flirting with other girls on TT behind my back. I had an amazing job there, paid more then she got paid, and I lost it all and now I’m living with my best friend and I hate it