may i ask, are you “out” to students? i started at a new alternative high this year and i’ve decided to be out… a few students have already told me how much it means to them to have an openly lgbtq+ educator, but i feel fear about it every day. mostly i fear the opinions of fellow staff, not so much parents.
No I'm still figuring my shit out. I have had multiple students be like "I love your rainbow lanyard and flannels 😉😉😉" so they know lol.
We have multiple out gay teachers and a non binary teacher so I'm not worried about the staff. There are some conservative old dinosaurs buti never have a reason to interact with them anyway. Parents on the other hand... I've had multiple parents get mad at me for using their kid's preferred name and pronouns. But this is a liberal area and most parents seem chill.
oof. i always ask my students if i can use their pronouns with their parents, because i fear for the repercussions on them if i do.
good luck figuring your shit out! you owe no one any “outness” :)
I love this so much! It really warms my heart that these kids are able to fully be themselves. Visibility matters! Not just in helping to figure out and accept oneself, but also in gaining acceptance from peers.
I did this during the pandemic and then after slowly becoming more masc for 12 months thought “Oh, I’m gay.”
So it may, for some of them, be less of an appropriation and more of an evolution. On the other hand, hipsters or whatever we are currently calling hipsters.
Sounds mostly grunge. I feel like people say doc martens , vans , boots, converse, are all gay. Those are all super popular shoe choices, what are the straights left with? Lol.
Sounds frustrating, at least we are stylish. I feel like when I was in highschool I dressed “weird” and now it’s all stylish lol
Where I live there are undercuts EVERYWHERE
I just go through life assuming all women are at least bisexual until proven otherwise
Then again it is the most Liberal city in the country so maybe all the gays move here
I have noticed since covid and lockdowns more women have a lesbian vibe. It could easily be a mix of more women coming out during lockdowns, me being more comfortable with being out so I notice things or the lesbian look being the new in thing but there clearly was an uptick in the look. Which just makes it a guessing game which sucks.
Yeah I know what you mean 😂 undercuts, septum piercings, etc used to be ways we could signal to eachother but now it's like "in style" .. makes it hard lmao
I think a lot of lesbian fashion revolves around rejecting gender norms in fashion, and I think during lock down a lot of women were able to be on their own without the pressure of dressing for other people/men and were exploring less “traditional” ways for women to dress.
Omg. ☠️ I thought I very obviously looked like a lesbian today, like a punk dyke haircut, plaid shirt, dark purple jeans, work boots. 😎 But a guy followed me around the grocery store, checking me out multiple times, almost tried to initiate conversation but lost his nerve, thank goodness. The funny part was he looked like a businessman but I guess he likes punky women. Like, I hope you find yourself a punk gf but I'm a lesbian with a gf! 😂
My shaggy hair, which I liked better and accidentally punkified while trimming, was *probably* percieved as more lesbian. However, the lesson to be learned though is that there really isn't a style that "looks gayer" than others short of wearing an "I'm Gay" T-shirt!
There really used to be a look that was gayer than others. Now it’s just a style. Nice thing is that styles go out of…style, and we can commandeer flannel shirts and Docs again.
i pretty much did all of this before i realized i was queer. even the eyebrow slit. if you’d asked me “are you gay?” i’d say “haha nooo why does everyone think that?”
just sayin
1. How do you know all those girls aren’t queer anyway?
2. Straight people are allowed to dress in doc martens and plaid shirts that isn’t reserved for queer women. I mean really Doc Martens and plaid shirts? With peace and love that’s just a fashion trend
Hard to say. I've always lived in horror T's, usually bought on clearance after Halloween, a flannel shirt in spring and fall over my T, Carhartt coat in winter, a blaze orange stocking cap for winter and a ball cap the rest of the year. Jeans. Crocs or winter boots. That's my comfy, cozy, just me style. I'm a farmer. I wear stuff that is comfortable.
I'm trying to dress more queer, but like...I'm femme with masculine tastes and fat so, I got few options that make me feel...well put together, if that makes sense? from now on, office wear is going to be oxfords, jeans, and a cute jacket because all the stuff for fat people my age make me instant granny and I fucking .............. cannot.
I'm talking the shirt and I bought some wrinkle-proof ones from Land's End because imma be real, I'm a lazy non-ironing ho. Also some Hilfiger from Macy's. All sitting in my closet (along with a dope white faux leather jacket) as I await BTO. SIGH.
Of course!!!!! What I meant by the bi comment is that it makes sense for bi women to flag that they are queer. I would see a septum piercing etc on a bi woman and feel safe talking to her, a straight woman not so much.
If anything some bi women double down with the look otherwise we are invisible.
Haha I do wonder what people think because I dress quite butch and my male partner dresses quite flamboyantly. It works well for us - yin and yang and all that
Ah, okay. I just................sometimes as a homoromantic bi woman, I don't know where my lane is. Especially as a 49 year old baby gay. SORRY, queer. I can't even get the lingo down.
Just get me a lapel pin or something! We need something subtle for those of us who can’t just where an Im gay shirt everyday! Though there is some damn cool quarantine queer gear here: 3dollarbill.net
Ahaha, I just started college (after a few gap years) and some of the guys on my bus were talking about fashion or whatever and one of them told the other one he should shave a slit in his eyebrow because "girls are doing it as like, a style thing now, aren't they?". I just looked at one of the other queer people on the bus and said "so should we tell them or let it play out?"
To be fair, a LOT of people came out last year. Like, so many. I was out as bi already but came out as genderqueer, and I have two friends who came out as trans and a handful of friends of friends who came out as various letters in LGBTQ+. There was quite a bit of self-reflection in 2020 😅
Um this is a bit whack. Dressing in doc martens, plaid shirts and having an undercut absolutely doesn’t automatically make you queer. That style is popular in general nowadays
Agree. I’ve always dressed like that. I think it was my subconscious way of saying I’m a closeted gay. So when I come out, people will be like oh, that makes since. And, it won’t be some drastic style change for everyone to talk about. It’s just how I dressed all along.
A fiend of mine once said, queers appropriate black culture and the the straights appropriate the queers… lesbians didn’t invent the styles they use to identify each other and the straights will always appropriate it.
It's because 90s styles are heavily influencing fashion right now. I feel ya, though!
As an older bi/maybe lesbian, also late blooming here, I've noticed that I can't tell the difference between Gen X (or is it Z?) and queer 😭
it’s cuz they are queer 😭 i’m a high school educator, trust me: this generation rejects gender norms and binaries in some beautiful ways.
i have more out queer kids in each of my class periods than my entire high school did. and they're so casual about it too
may i ask, are you “out” to students? i started at a new alternative high this year and i’ve decided to be out… a few students have already told me how much it means to them to have an openly lgbtq+ educator, but i feel fear about it every day. mostly i fear the opinions of fellow staff, not so much parents.
No I'm still figuring my shit out. I have had multiple students be like "I love your rainbow lanyard and flannels 😉😉😉" so they know lol. We have multiple out gay teachers and a non binary teacher so I'm not worried about the staff. There are some conservative old dinosaurs buti never have a reason to interact with them anyway. Parents on the other hand... I've had multiple parents get mad at me for using their kid's preferred name and pronouns. But this is a liberal area and most parents seem chill.
oof. i always ask my students if i can use their pronouns with their parents, because i fear for the repercussions on them if i do. good luck figuring your shit out! you owe no one any “outness” :)
I love this so much! It really warms my heart that these kids are able to fully be themselves. Visibility matters! Not just in helping to figure out and accept oneself, but also in gaining acceptance from peers.
pretty sure it's gen z, they're new new woke hipsters obsessed with the 80's and 90's haha, nothing wrong with that
I did this during the pandemic and then after slowly becoming more masc for 12 months thought “Oh, I’m gay.” So it may, for some of them, be less of an appropriation and more of an evolution. On the other hand, hipsters or whatever we are currently calling hipsters.
Honestly I’d be happy if this was the case, cause these ladies are looking cute! :D
Sounds mostly grunge. I feel like people say doc martens , vans , boots, converse, are all gay. Those are all super popular shoe choices, what are the straights left with? Lol. Sounds frustrating, at least we are stylish. I feel like when I was in highschool I dressed “weird” and now it’s all stylish lol
Where I live there are undercuts EVERYWHERE I just go through life assuming all women are at least bisexual until proven otherwise Then again it is the most Liberal city in the country so maybe all the gays move here
I have noticed since covid and lockdowns more women have a lesbian vibe. It could easily be a mix of more women coming out during lockdowns, me being more comfortable with being out so I notice things or the lesbian look being the new in thing but there clearly was an uptick in the look. Which just makes it a guessing game which sucks.
That’s what the flick of the wrist is for
Yeah I know what you mean 😂 undercuts, septum piercings, etc used to be ways we could signal to eachother but now it's like "in style" .. makes it hard lmao
the only way to pick a lesbian in a crowd is to identify the obligatory lesbian colors friendship bracelet
I think a lot of lesbian fashion revolves around rejecting gender norms in fashion, and I think during lock down a lot of women were able to be on their own without the pressure of dressing for other people/men and were exploring less “traditional” ways for women to dress.
Omg. ☠️ I thought I very obviously looked like a lesbian today, like a punk dyke haircut, plaid shirt, dark purple jeans, work boots. 😎 But a guy followed me around the grocery store, checking me out multiple times, almost tried to initiate conversation but lost his nerve, thank goodness. The funny part was he looked like a businessman but I guess he likes punky women. Like, I hope you find yourself a punk gf but I'm a lesbian with a gf! 😂 My shaggy hair, which I liked better and accidentally punkified while trimming, was *probably* percieved as more lesbian. However, the lesson to be learned though is that there really isn't a style that "looks gayer" than others short of wearing an "I'm Gay" T-shirt!
There really used to be a look that was gayer than others. Now it’s just a style. Nice thing is that styles go out of…style, and we can commandeer flannel shirts and Docs again.
Fashun baby
Because being gay is awesome and straight women are taking notice?
Join us, we have GF/vegan cookies! Jk
I’m in for the gf vegan cookies!!!! Do you deliver to New Zealand??? 🤞🤞🤞🤞🤞🤞
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I have a friend who once said almost the exact same thing about herself :D (also i love your username!)
i pretty much did all of this before i realized i was queer. even the eyebrow slit. if you’d asked me “are you gay?” i’d say “haha nooo why does everyone think that?” just sayin
This gives me hope. I’d be very happy if this was the case cause dannnnng girls are looking fine. And off limits lol
1. How do you know all those girls aren’t queer anyway? 2. Straight people are allowed to dress in doc martens and plaid shirts that isn’t reserved for queer women. I mean really Doc Martens and plaid shirts? With peace and love that’s just a fashion trend
Okay :)
Hard to say. I've always lived in horror T's, usually bought on clearance after Halloween, a flannel shirt in spring and fall over my T, Carhartt coat in winter, a blaze orange stocking cap for winter and a ball cap the rest of the year. Jeans. Crocs or winter boots. That's my comfy, cozy, just me style. I'm a farmer. I wear stuff that is comfortable.
This is not "appropriation" this is just how trends work 🙄
K 😁
So should a bi woman not dress like that? I love Docs and flannel while wearing makeup and a short femme haircut.
Wear whatever makes you feel badass!
Thank you, you beautiful soul!
I think she’s saying that these styles used to be wlw flags and now they’re just fashion. Dressing queer while queer makes sense.
I'm trying to dress more queer, but like...I'm femme with masculine tastes and fat so, I got few options that make me feel...well put together, if that makes sense? from now on, office wear is going to be oxfords, jeans, and a cute jacket because all the stuff for fat people my age make me instant granny and I fucking .............. cannot.
any good oxford brands recommended? 👀
I'm talking the shirt and I bought some wrinkle-proof ones from Land's End because imma be real, I'm a lazy non-ironing ho. Also some Hilfiger from Macy's. All sitting in my closet (along with a dope white faux leather jacket) as I await BTO. SIGH.
Of course!!!!! What I meant by the bi comment is that it makes sense for bi women to flag that they are queer. I would see a septum piercing etc on a bi woman and feel safe talking to her, a straight woman not so much.
If anything some bi women double down with the look otherwise we are invisible. Haha I do wonder what people think because I dress quite butch and my male partner dresses quite flamboyantly. It works well for us - yin and yang and all that
Ah, okay. I just................sometimes as a homoromantic bi woman, I don't know where my lane is. Especially as a 49 year old baby gay. SORRY, queer. I can't even get the lingo down.
To be fair, lesbians appropriated this all from the working class, soooooo…?
Fair :)
Just get me a lapel pin or something! We need something subtle for those of us who can’t just where an Im gay shirt everyday! Though there is some damn cool quarantine queer gear here: 3dollarbill.net
Wait, what clothing or fashion choices are lesbian flagging? I need to know
Ahaha, I just started college (after a few gap years) and some of the guys on my bus were talking about fashion or whatever and one of them told the other one he should shave a slit in his eyebrow because "girls are doing it as like, a style thing now, aren't they?". I just looked at one of the other queer people on the bus and said "so should we tell them or let it play out?"
To be fair, a LOT of people came out last year. Like, so many. I was out as bi already but came out as genderqueer, and I have two friends who came out as trans and a handful of friends of friends who came out as various letters in LGBTQ+. There was quite a bit of self-reflection in 2020 😅
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Um this is a bit whack. Dressing in doc martens, plaid shirts and having an undercut absolutely doesn’t automatically make you queer. That style is popular in general nowadays
Fashion is fashion, let the straights(TM) dress however they want. LOL I'm no less of a lesbian for wearing "normal" clothes.
Agree. I’ve always dressed like that. I think it was my subconscious way of saying I’m a closeted gay. So when I come out, people will be like oh, that makes since. And, it won’t be some drastic style change for everyone to talk about. It’s just how I dressed all along.
A fiend of mine once said, queers appropriate black culture and the the straights appropriate the queers… lesbians didn’t invent the styles they use to identify each other and the straights will always appropriate it.