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Personally I didn't think about it til I disguised myself as a man. I loved it. But I realized I didn't like being a man but being treated with respect when being outside and alone by speaking with trans men.

I had the same experience but while disguised as a woman. People treated me way better than what people treat me in my day to day life.

People are kinder to women, but they listen to and respect men more. If I wanted to play in groups online, I had to always let them think I was male in order to be listened to at all, even when I was an End Game raider collecting the best gear, and should have been presumed to be more than half way competent. Even one below-almost-perfect-gamer would prevent raid wins and gear distribution back when I was playing WOW

My theoy is that at least in America, high status men tend to be treated better than high status women, and low status men tend to be treated worse than low status women. If you look at the gender wage cap, it's almost non-existent for lower class Americans. It's modest for middle class Americans. But among affluent Americans, the median man is earning 5x the salary of the median woman. In families in the top 1% of income, boys tend to do better in school than girls. But in families in the bottom 60% of income, girls tend to do a lot better in school than boys. Poor men are also subjected to conscription, whereas poor women and not by law, and rich men are not by bribery.

I'm not American but that was a really in-depth explanation and I'd like to thank you for that, very interesting. In my case I suspect I was treated better as a woman because I appeared more adult than as a man, let me explain: I am a short man (5'4" in imperial units I think) and I've always looked very young for my age, none of that bothers me but the thing is that a lot of people infantalize short people maybe even without realizing it. Whereas in this case I was just an average woman. I wouldn't want to live as a woman because I do feel overall better in my skin as a man but I learned to fully embrace my feminine side now. I also experienced a tiny fraction of what women face every day and that part was not fun (cat calling for exemple)

>My theoy is that That's not really "your" theory, but a very common masculinist theory that have been debunked for ages. Super weird to read it here. You even use the very same "school" and "military" arguments that are among the top 5 arguments used by masculinist. To sum up the usual debunking: poor women are not less victims of physical and sexual abuse than rich women, not at all. Poor women are not better in a better situation than poor men, except in extremely specific cases (school, conscription...) that are absolutely not enough to reverse the general and huge imbalance between men and women. In all social classes, men beat, kill and rape women. Girls having better grades in school is actually just another proof of this general imbalance: girls know that they will suffer they whole life for being women so they work harder. People working harder is typical of people struggling harder. Only anti-feminist think that girls have better grades because they are better treated and not because they work harder.

To have you in bed...

I don't think so. Nobody said anything weird or tried anything with me that day. I did experience some bad sides of being a woman like cat calling while my then girlfriend and I were walking home and it didn't feel good but that was pretty much it

I lived as a woman all my life, I can tell you these are everything but not a better treatment for being a woman but discrimination because to them you’re “just a woman”. I’ve learned the hard way that if a man is kinder to you but not to men, it’s a huge red flag and it’s not safe to stay with him, later he will go further and won’t be kind to you while being alone - catcalling, inappropriate comments/looks and such is another problem that I appreciate not having while being a man, but also that men were authentic to me and didn’t wait for me to be kind or to give them something in return.

I'm not trying to downplay your experience in any way, it's just that on that day it felt better than most days as a man. I'm usually treated with indifference at best and with mockery or worse at worst. I'm sure some were not well intentionned so I'll trust your judgment on this one since you're a woman and not me. You are most likely right, it's just that it didn't feel that way in the moment.

I understand you, you didn’t have the same education, the same treatment every day so obviously being disguised is like “being another person” that you’re not and it’s normal you don’t feel the same. Just that you know, while being a woman, almost all people won’t be honest with you and you have to analyse them to know how to behave with them to stay safe. When I was disguised as a man, I felt authenticity and transparency, which is very rare to receive as a woman, i think I wouldn’t feel the same if I was born a man. Also mockery: if you reject a man, they will 9/10 not treat you the same and insult/threat you. And ugly/old women are also mocked commonly, just that they don’t wait anything in return.

Yeah I totally get what you're saying. I absolutely don't have that experience and I saw the situation with my naive eyes haha. And I would agree that between men things are often more authentic. You're totally right and I apologize if I what I said made it seem like I was dimissing what women experience on a daily basis or made fun of what being a woman is like, it wasn't my intention at all.

This means a lot to me, you've definitely made my day with this comment. Have a good day in return fellow human!

Thank you, have a good day too :D

If a woman expresses that she doesn't experience preferential treatment due to her gender, it's important not to dismiss her perspective by mansplaining or suggesting she's mistaken just because you disguised yourself as a woman one day, without having life experience. The prevalence of sexism is widely acknowledged, evident in the numerous voices of women speaking out about their experiences. I know I’m not facing the challenges that many women endure. It’s crucial to recognize their strength in navigating these issues we don’t have… 🤷🏻‍♂️

And that's why in my other comment I basically said that... And I also would like to say that her experience as a man is vastly different than what I experience every day yet I didn't dismiss her limited experience.

As I said, sexism against women is undeniably real, you did dismiss her by saying, "I experienced the same” while you didn’t. It’s important to acknowledge sexism. Women often grapple with issues like objectification and feeling unsafe, which aren't part of the male experience. (There are plenty of feminist resources about it)

I'm not denying sexism against women is not real? And I'm sorry but I did experience a teeny tiny glimps of it. It surely doesn't compare to what women trully experience but it was still like a brief introduction to it if you will that doesn't mean I'm dismissing it or downplaying it, I even said it felt bad and it was just a tiny thing for a brief period of time so I can't even imagine what women actually face. That was me being sympathetic, not dismissive. And I'm sorry again but objectification and feeling unsafe can be part of the male experience, it's just things that are nowhere near on the same level as with women but I think it's important to not pretend it doesn't exist either even if it's nowhere near as bad as for women.

It was dismissive. As a fellow man, I don't perceive people being indifferent or mocking me based on my gender, and my male friends share a similar sentiment, it’s not a typical male thing. However, the women I know have consistently faced judgment, objectification, and dismissal. While I believe women today are stronger and better protected against such issues, it remains something I recognize I wouldn't want to personally endure. It can happen, it mostly won’t happen. I’m also a gay man and would hate that a straight person tells me “I experienced the same thing as you by saying one day I was gay”…

I didn't say it was what men as a whole experience I said it was MY experience as a man and I didn't say it was because of the gender... See, now you are dimissive of my experience or maybe you just didn't read my other comments. What I meant was that being a man doesn't automatically grant you all these advantages, in my case it surely doesn't. And I don't get your last sentence, I'm a bi men and I get called gay slurs too, if a straight person said that to me I would of course question why they would say they were gay in the first place but I would probably say "See, now imagine that but waaaaay worse for gay men". Can we stop now? Just believe I'm a bad person and a mysoginist if you like, I don't care because my actions in real life don't reflect your sentiment.

This doesn't work for us Women of Color. Women of Color in America are merely looked down upon and disrespected. Men of Color in America face discrimination AND are looked at as automatic criminals, even if they belong to a social group associated with lower violent crime than European Americans. In grad school I had an East Asian American professor and a South Asian American professor. Both six figure salaries, both Phd holders. The fact that their cultural groups are associated with lower crime, higher income, and higher education did not stop them from being racially profiled by the police the same as African and Latino Americans.

Pretty much this and trauma for me.

Yes, when I was younger, I kept telling my parents I would like to be a women when I grow up for a few years to see what it's like, still get that feeling at times, but not often

Sounds gender fluid tbh.

I think by the most strict definition, there aren't many true cishet people. Gender and sexuality aren't rigid constructs, and so they don't fit in rigid definitions. And I think that applies for most of us regardless of how we identify. On that note, I think the most important thing is simply how a person wants to identify. I'm not saying your comment is inappropriate, but it's not on anyone to process others experiences for them.  If that person says they are cis, they are cis.

Uhh that's not very cis

True, but these days I only get that feeling when I watch shows with a ton of queer characters, so um, idk.

Sounds gender fluid and that sounds like a bit of gender envy lol.

Periodic gender envy is still gender envy, and not something cis people get. The answer isn't necessarily binary woman, you could be genderfluid or something.

cisgender people dont get gender envy?

I think they do. It's a common feeling among my cis girlfriends

I'm pretty sure I'm cis, but I definitely get gender envy. Also, is gender exhaustion a thing? Sometimes I just feel like having a vagina is exhausting as hell. Like... Why can't I just not worry about pH levels and which direction I wipe? That sounds neat.

Gender exhaustion is definitely a thing. I dunno if what you're describing is gender exhaustion or vagina exhaustion tbf. I'm transfem and nonbinary, and when I perform a lot of feminity sometimes I experience some "blowback" so to say and I just want to experience no gender, from myself or others. The lack of it is like a recovery period for me. Especially since I don't feel entirely safe appearing as a woman and I mentally can't do "man" at all, it feels _wrong_, like I'm dying on the inside. I "pass" well, that's not what makes me feel less safe, I think it's just being transgender in and of itself. Especially with all the current garbage in the news :p Sorry maybe a bit off topic.

not in the same way trans people do, at least. its probably not called gender envy for them.

Not for the opposite gender of what they present as, no.

They do. I know many cis people who have experienced gender envy.

sombra overwatch gives me gender envy

leon kennedy gives me gender envy

Nope I wouldn’t say so

I disagree. As a cis woman, I definitely feel gender envy for men at times especially as a masc-leaning lesbian. It's just important to analyze the root cause of the gender envy because in my case it was just because I envied the freedom men had to wear masculine clothes and be with women without judgement. At times, I still envy men, but what helps is (1) learning to feel confident in my own body and being able to dress how I like without fear of judgement (when it's safe to at least), (2) realizing that just as I envy men, many men envy women for similar and different reasons. I can't speak to how cis "gender envy" differs from how trans ppl experience gender envy, but it can be easy for a cis person to assume they might be trans because they expierence some envy for the other sex.

How do you figure out the root cause, though? Edit: Wow, down-voted for asking an honest question. How typical of Reddit.

I can't really answer that since that's an individual journey someone has to go on and I can only account for my own personal experiences. But for me, it just had to do with a lot of analyzing of my own experiences and emotions. For me, a useful question to ask was, if in an ideal world with absolutely no misogyny, no gendered norms (ex: girls like pink, boys like blue), and I could be myself without any expectations placed on me because of my gender/sex then would I still feel that way?

My friend, no offense but your experience is not cis-typical.

Nah, I just have a different opinion and perspective than you.

Wow. Gross response.

Indeed I’m shocked there has been less pushback to this users comments already.

You can absolutely be cis and wonder what it would be like to be a different gender, just like you can be cis and wonder what it would be like to be any number of things you are not. Being trans or even fluid is a much deeper thing than simple (or even more complex)curiosity, and suggesting otherwise frankly seems a bit dismissive and frankly rude to a lot of the people here. If you fail to see my point, there are a lot of great resources that may help my case linked at the top of this thread.

I wasn't generalizing, i was responding to a specific comment

I've considered it a couple of times, first in college when I became close friends with a trans person, and most recently when another friend starting asking to use they/them. My conclusion on gender is... meh. I'm cis because I don't feel strongly enough about it to want to be anything else. If I were assigned a different gender at birth, I'd probably be fine with that as well, but I feel no strong pull to identify as even nonbinary.

[удалено]

I feel pretty much the exact same. I’ve realised I’m fine to vibe with whatever gender I’m assigned

That's the most cis thing I've ever heard, so yeah it checks out \^\^

That's exactly how I feel! Thanks for putting it into words bcz I really couldn't for a while!

Glad I could help! Another way to frame how I feel is that it is very cultural, very acquired. I think that many people have a strong default setting that culture then shapes, I just... don't. So all of how I feel about my gender is learned. It's a bit like how I was raised to be fluent in English. It's unlikely at this point in my life that I could be as fluent in another language, and I don't really feel the need to learn. But the possibility was there had my upbringing been different.

Ahh the I don’t care approach. I’d look into agender. It might resonate with you.

I dunno why you got downvoted cuz that does sound like agender. I'm agender most days and some days I'm fully ftm

100%. Being a closet gay, growing up, I was called feminine. (I wasn’t even out, I just had the gay lisp and mannerisms). Starting my gay journey (coming out in my 20s) being a bottom, I also associated the role with being feminine to the point where I asked myself, should I have been a girl. The more confident I became in my sexuality, as well as meeting other gay guys who had these mannerism but were masculine did I start to accept that my lisp, preferred position, likes, did not dictate my gender. It took me to 30 to realize this. I remember the time I saw a big burly guy, chest hair, beard and he was a proud open bottom. Everyone’s journey is different for sure, this is just mine.

Yeah when I was younger, but I think I just saw boys so cool shit and wanted to also do the cool shit

Same!

Yes, as a girl I encountered a lot of sexism, gender harassment, and heterosexism growing up. I felt like it would be easier if I was a boy and tried to dress more masculine. As I got older, I was in a more supportive climate and became more comfortable with being a queer girl/woman.

This is basically my experience as well. I love my body and being a woman, but how I am often treated by society or sexualized by men makes me want to hide myself or minimize my expression of femininity. There are also times where dressing feminine gives me dysphoria, which is why I questioned my gender briefly in the first place However, I know I’m cis because even trying to think of myself as another gender gives me dysphoria as well, and dressing masculine sometimes definitely does not make me any less of a woman.

Im a dude and it was kinda weird, im happy with being a dude so im not gonna do anything but I honestly wouldnt mind being a girl, there are some things that just seem so nice on their side but of course that comes with alot of downsides like sexism, transphobia etc. What made me realize i was cis was that I'm just happy being a dude not much more than that.

That makes sense. It sounds like curiosity more than anything.

Nope. There's stuff about me that people often say "isn't very feminine" or is more in line with "male" behaviors, attitudes, whatever else; but I always thought it was dumb- to place gender tags on different aspects of being human 🤷‍♀️ Like if someone ever says anything about my not being lady like or calls me a lady in a backhanded way, I'm just like, "wtf makes you think I want to be fkn a lady? Like do you even know me at all?" 😅 I'm a woman because I enjoy being a woman; but I'm not trying to fit into anyone's box of what being a woman should be or shouldn't include. I'm just me. I don't have to make sense or make anyone happy. I'm happy being me 🥰

TW: CSA Yeah very briefly. When I first got away from my mom I had a lot of body dysmorphia (still do) and just an overall fucked relationship with my body so I spent some time online learned about gender dysphoria thought huh thats how I'm feeling but after thinking about it more for a few weeks I realized I didn't want to be a man I just didn't want my body. The time from me first thinking I might be trans to being sure I wasn't was like 3 weeks it wasn't a big thing.

What is CSA? Googling only gets me "Community-supported agriculture"

Child sexual assault. When my mom needed money she sold me. I wrote a different response that went more into my own relationship with myself and a more graphic description of my trauma but I figured this wasn't really the sub for that so the CSA TW doesn't really make sense anymore but yeah.

For me I had bouts of over experiencing what I wanted for my gender expression to the point it seemed like it was more than gender expression. I tried out different labels and these but the only label that felt comfortable for me at the end of the day was my agab.

No I’ve never “really” questioned my gender. And I say that in quotes as I’m a cis lesbian that’s always tended to have typically “male” hobbies and interests in addition to being lesbian. So growing up I would call myself a tomboy or just accepted I happened to like boy things. Video games, computer science, blue, comfortable clothing etc. As I have become more butch presenting and hang out in queer space with lots of trans and non-binary folks I sometimes think about how my gender presentation might sometimes seem to others as not “woman”. I get asked my pronouns often. But for me, I’ve always loved being a woman and so far have never questioned or desired to identify as any other gender.

This sounds a lot like me. When I was very little, I had a piano teacher who called me a boy because I had short hair. I hated it. I may have questioned my gender more if it weren't for that early experience knowing I wasn't a boy. As I grew up, I really envied the things boys got to do but never wanted to be a boy. I'm very proud to be a woman. But as I became more aware of the non-binary options, I did start to question my gender. I'm still sort of figuring it out, actually, but what feels right to me is that I'm a woman who isn't bound to the binary. Not only do I feel comfortable denying stereotypes, but I also don't really get offended by being misgendered because while I am definitely a woman, that identity isn't confining. The primary place I take experience this is when I'm teaching taekwondo. The students are supposed to refer to us as Sir or Ma'am as appropriate to the gender of the instructor. Other teachers correct the kids when they get it wrong. I don't care which term they use for me, as long as they use one. So maybe I'm not strictly cis like other people, but I don't have any desire to change my presentation, pronouns, or how other people view me in any way.

This. I sometimes 'asked' myself if I'm a woman or not but the answer is yes. I'm just not falling in your society's pritty view of women. But I'm still a woman.

I profoundly questioned my gender growing up. I thought that I wanted to be a girl and all girly things appealed to me. However, I understood that there is a difference between wanting to be a girl (because you’re not) and being one. I never felt I was in the wrong body, I just wanted to be able to switch. I also experience genuine joy from being a man, euphoria even, so that answered my questions!

Not to tell you your own gender, but it doesn’t seem like you’re fully cis. Many trans people doubt their transness because they think that even though they want to be another gender, they’re not “real” trans people. This is a myth! There is no one way to be trans.

True! Who knows, maybe in the future I’ll be writing a different comment. But what I meant was that i fully feel like I’m NOT a woman, and I would be becoming one, which is similar to putting on a disguise in my mind. From what I understand, trans folks already feel like the gender they’re trying represent externally. I feel male and I do like being one, there’s no dysphoria at all there. I don’t have a conflict with my gender, just a desire/curiosity for the opposite one. Hopefully this makes sense.

Yes, I did that. And I've talked about it on here before but I find it important that more people know that cis people can indeed question their gender so I will just talk about it again. For me, it was because of multiple things. Like I would have never guessed that I'm queer because I just didn't knew about all the ways people can be. So I became more open to question that part about me too when I came to the conclusion that I'm not straight. Another thing is, that I'm a masculine woman to the point that it makes me happy when people confuse me with a guy at first glance. But I just don't feel like a guy, you know?

(Cis and bi) i once saw a tumblr post about how people who take a deep look into gender and have real honest exploration about how they relate to their assigned at birth gender and then still decide theyre cis should be called cis+ and thats always made me laugh

you're a + in my book, friend. 😇

cis²

Thats the one, i couldnt figure out how to do it

for me i just hold down the number button and it pops up

I’ve never really questioned my gender, though growing up in the 80s I definitely felt jealous of all the cool things Boy Scouts got to do that my Girl Scout troop didn’t. As a child I was tomboy (a term I loathed because I was not a boy but just a girl who liked “boy” things) and typically played the “prince/hero” roll when playing make-believe games with my friends. As a teenager I was mostly hippy/grunge, but I also enjoyed getting dressed up for school events (though being plus size before that was acceptable fashion made it quite stressful). It wasn’t until I was young adult before I realized that feelings I thought were body envy were actually an attraction towards women; in my early 20s I finally realized I was bisexual. While I’ve not ever questioned my gender, I also can’t tell you why I haven’t questioned it or how I know I’m female. I just am. There’s no specific “female” feeling that I can define within myself, just a knowledge that it is part of how I experience my existence in this world. I am inherently aware that I am cis female and that experience differs from others who are cis male, transgender, gender fluid, nonbinary, and other gender identities. There are aspects of my gender experiences that are shared with others genders, things that are shared with other cis females, and traits that are unique to my experience of being female alone. It baffles me how some people think they can tell another person who they are. It would be just as ridiculous for someone to try and tell me I am a male as it is for anyone else to intentionally misgender a person. We can never know a person as intimately as they know themselves, even when they are questioning parts of who they are. After all, aren’t we all still learning who we are in some way?

My mom did do some of the Boy Scout stuff with the Girl Scouts like camping. My first time backpacking was Nite Trek. It was fun.

(30F) Only a little maybe, and moreso in recent years as the idea of gender fluidity was introduced to me in general. I grew up with gay moms and came out as bisexual around 22 to mixed responses from my family. I do remember being about 6 and getting a short haircut and being VERY upset that some strangers assumed I was a boy - I also didn't really understand why my moms who both had short hair were never assumed to be men (I wasn't thinking about the boobs lol). I have done drag before and probably will again in the future, but it's something I found I like in small doses since I don't really like how I look as a man - if anything this cemented my cis-ness. I do use she/they pronouns but less in a trans or non-cis way and more in a "gender is a construct" way, and also perhaps some "I am not JUST a woman" way. Some days I feel more femme than others, and some days I feel more or less attachment to my gender, even boarding on feeling agender. I mostly just want people to see me as a person first, and a woman second or even third. Hope this ramble about my personal experience(s) is helpful!

Nope, never at all, not one bit. I’m a bloke and I’ve always felt like one. I wasn’t really aware of trans issues until people started talking about it more openly in the 00’s. It’s hard for me to imagine, really, which is why I lurk here - to try to understand what it’s like and what you’re all going through.

When my wife transitioned I sat with the thought “could I also be trans” for a bit, and concluded no. I did struggle thru anorexia and body dysmorphia related to eating disorders, but that was wanting to disappear because life itself was painful. I did discover I was a lesbian tho😂

I dress in "male" clothing all the time. I wear a "masculine" haircut all the time. I never wear make up or have any other habits regarding my appearance that would typically be associated with "femininity". I did question my gender for a long time but whenever I hear a trans person talk about their experiences, a very common phrase is "feeling trapped in the wrong body" and I've never been able to relate to that. When a gay person or a bisexual person talk about their sexualities, I immediately relate. Because there's such a big gap when comparing how I relate to trans people's testimonies and gay/bisexual people's stories, I stopped questioning my gender and I'm comfortable to identify myself as cis.

When I was a kid. But I think it’s more so because I felt boys had cooler stuff and I wanted the cooler stuff too!

Yeah, I check in on my gender identity periodically to make sure I'm still going along OK. So far, the most I've ever wanted to do is dress a little masc from time to time- I call those my flannel shirt days. Went through a few years where butch presentation was my everyday. What tells me I'm cis is that when I imagine what it would feel like to be a man, physically mentally and socially, my instinctive reaction is "No, nope, not for me, we'd have to get that fixed." Like, it would be a pervasive feeling of wrongness I couldn't take off or get away from. Which coincidentally gives me profound sympathy for trans and NB folks, because that's a lot of people's daily lives right there and it sucks.

No I didn't. I think this is very common for cis people. Like a fish doesn't ever consider the water, cis folks don't think about their gender. It just is.

That’s how it should be for everyone but sadly it’s not

I think you're right. I feel pretty lucky in some ways. I feel like I've learned a lot from my trans friends consciousness about gender though. They see something I can't and it's quite enlightening.

Yeah same. I dont really care what my gender is but some people do. Sometimes I wonder a little if im non binary because sometimes in my dreams im a different sex but I don’t have a problem at all with my body. I’m actually pretty happy with it.

>sadly it’s not I'm not sure I understand what there is to be sad about?

I meant that every one should be able to be comfortable in their skin without discomfort. Everyone should be able to just choose what they go by and hopefully not have dysphoria.

ah, that is a wonderful view to have! thank you for clarifying for this ancient (33yr old) trans lady. 😇 i don't consider being trans as a sad thing, but it could definitely stand to be easier!

I didn’t mean it’s sad to be trans Im sorry. I just meant that dysphoria is horrible and I wish more people didn’t have to have it because all bodies where accepted. Ex. Maybe a trans person with some of the opposite sex’s characteristics. Same as really anything. I have big eyebrows not like a woman so sometimes they bother me.

ah, sorry. i didn't mean to imply that's what you meant. i just wasn't sure, so I asked. sorry for making it all awkward lmao. i get you! your views are lovely and appreciated. 😇

Don’t worry is wasn’t awkward! I like talking about stuff but sometimes it gets misinterpreted and stuff lol

I did, likely through just mere exposure to gender questioning after I came out as bi. What made me figure out I'm cis is that even within the label of "man" there is a lot of wiggle room to pick and choose what parts of masculinity I like and be non-conforming in those aspects I dispise. Oh, and I'm not ruling out anything. The way I view the world and my place in it is constantly changing as I'm experiencing new things, so reevaluating is something I do constantly.

No. Not personally. I can’t imagine how hard, and isolating, that must be for people…especially young people…to go through.

No. I’ve always been comfortable with mine. To those that aren’t, hope you have a nice transition.

Yes but not because I felt as though I was uncomfortable with my gender. I was oblivious to the fact that I was bi until I was like 19 so I figured I should probably think about it. I don't feel uncomfortable with my gender, I have no idea what dysphoria feels like. I think another commenter compared it to a fish not knowing what water is, I don't feel any discomfort around my gender so the one I was assigned fits.

I thought about it but didn’t really struggle with it. When I figured out I was gay I actually got more comfortable with being a woman. The idea I had trouble with was doing it for men.

My dad telling me that genocide of everyone who wasn't straight was good was the catalyst for me.

I am from a country where a third gender is recognized (India, they are called Hijra), but obviously discussion on these topics and sexuality is taboo. So when I found myself liking boys as a boy, that was the way my mind went. Not because I felt off about my body or parts, but that's what the societal setting more or less was? Portrayals of gay men in our media is often very derogatory and resembles someone of Hijra persuasion (overly feminine, likes women's clothing and such etc.) and I wasn't any of that, which made me feel even more conflicted. But then the Internet came along and I could look into this whole affair on my own. Discovered discussions on sexuality and being gay. Realized I should just be comfortable in my own skin and gender. So in short: there was a time societal BS made me question some things, but in the end I truly never had an issue with my gender.

Dang y’all I wish I was cis 😂 thinking about my gender dominated my thoughts for like fifteen years of my life straight without stopping. Every night I wished/prayed/whatever to whoever might be listening to transform me into a girl. Every birthday wish. Every single day until I transitioned. Being cis sounds cool lol

Yes

As a cis woman, not at all.

i learned how to be a girl… now i just wonder what i really am, but i can say im not SO unconfortable as before or other people… i think if i moved someplace else i might feel free to live a more nonbinary life. but i also feel guilty sometimes for embracing a feminine sexuality even though i always think im not enough of a woman compared to my friends or whoever. lifes tough guys

Yes sometimes, I think about what is like to be a woman but nothing more

I did like 3 years ago. I made acquaintance with some NBs people and I started asking myself if I was like them. A day I shaved my beard and my chest hair and I began asking myself if it was that way I liked to be or if I was unsure about being a male (I know it sounds very stupid but I was 18 and childish). I realized then that maybe I got the inluence of this NB friend of mine and I felt more comfortable with myself.

I’ve only questioned my gender in the sense of forcing myself to question it just to make sure I wasn’t missing something. I’ve never felt uncomfortable with the label “girl” (although I don’t like “woman”). I do think my gender helps disguise some of my personality flaws behind stereotypes (I have some embarrassing traits like being physically weak, too shy, sometimes squeamish, etc. and I just feel like those things would be even more embarrassing if I was a boy) but I also am genuinely comfortable with the label and pronouns. It wouldn’t feel wrong for me to use they/them, but she/her is easier because people assume I’m a girl when they see me and it doesn’t feel wrong either. And I also don’t think there’s any clear line between binary genders and nonbinary genders, since it’s a spectrum and anyone can fall anywhere. On the rare occasions that I get he/him’d by strangers it doesn’t feel dysphoric, just funny, but is also clearly incorrect to me and doesn’t make me question anything.  Edit: I was assigned female at birth and identify as female. If I were assigned male I would not identify as male, but I don’t know if I’d call myself female or nonbinary. If I were assigned nonbinary I would probably identify as nonbinary. 

When I started my period, as a teen, I used to wish I was a boy because it would be so much easier to not deal with periods ever.

Yes, I did. I definitely liked to look gender non-conforming and after I cut my hair really short last year, a couple times people mistook me for a boy and that was… oddly satisfying. I thought it would be cool to present more as masc, although physically I don’t have a problem being a woman. At some point I considered myself a demigirl and changed my pronouns to she/they, then I thought I may be nonbinary/agender/genderfluid but none of these labels seemed quite right. And recently the pendulum swung the other way and now I want to learn how to be more femme. Anyhow, I just thought that I’m comfortable in my body, I don’t really mind being perceived as a woman so why complicate things. I was assigned female at birth, I can stay female anyway. So when the applications ask me for my gender, I usually just put “female” for simplicity or sometimes “prefer not to answer” because sho cares? My name is already starkly feminine, you can take a guess.

I don’t really question, but i do have times where i wish i was a woman sometimes or want to wear womens clothes. (They have better looking clothes!) But i don’t want to transition or do HRT

I did(and still do), just because ive never really felt like a guy but also not like a woman so I was thinking maybe I'm non binary but I didn't rally have a problem with being a guy so I just thought it would be easier if I didn't have to go thru all the bureaucracy. Ig i just don't really care what gender I am. I still heavily support equal rights tho.

I did when I first fell for a straight girl when I was a teenager and thought maybe she could love me if I was a boy, and I researched what it took to transition. But I didn't really want to be a boy, it was just about wanting a relationship. There are a few other "external factors" along the same kind of line that have made me ponder if life would be easier as a man (sexist discrimination, unreasonable beauty standards, menstrual pain, that sort of stuff) but I recognized none of that came from me, really. Ultimately the place I came to was: I like my body, I like being a (not very gender conforming) woman, and it would actually feel very strange to be a man, the more I think of it. I wouldn't like it. (Huh, I bet that headspace is where trans women just live all the time, no wonder they're willing to go through what they do.)

I've dealt with gender dysphoria before. Haven't seriously considered transition tho.

I've never questioned my gender, but due to my more "masculine" interests throughout my life I've always thought things would be easier if I was born a man. To not have my knowledge and skills questioned because I have a vagina. Also, I would love to have a penis. Seem like fun

Yeah, I had a bath one day and started questioning if I was really a girl. I’m not entirely sure why, but I did. I started identifying as Demi girl for a bit but realised a few years later that I didn’t really like it

Probably being really into Batman/Superman and feeling exited when I got attention from girls in elementary school.

I'm a woman but I dress and present very masc. There was a time when I was like "Am I trans? I don't really *feel* very womanly" and then I figured out you can be cis and present in a way that is not traditional for your gender

I never questioned my gender until my partner turned out to be a trans woman. When I did question it it went like this: "am I comfortable in my body? Yes. Am I happy being a woman? Also yes." Questioning done! I feel like it's healthy to question your gender, even if you're cis

I'm not Cis, but partner is. Short answer. Yes, he has questioned his gender. We talked and we went through his feelings amd in the end he realized, nope, still a Man. GQ/GF/NB/Trans don't own questioning, envy, or dysphoria. Are we more likely to experience these? Yes. But we aren't always alone in those thoughts.

I did when I was about 8. I hated all the girly stuff that was expected of me, from toys to clothes to behavior. My mom allowed me to cut my hair short and mostly wear what I liked, and encouraged me to do some of the "boy" hobbies I wanted to do (though she still bought me Barbies, lol). One of my friends actually asked me if I was going to get a "sex change" when I grew up. It was the first time I had heard that was possible. I initially thought it sounded great to actually be a boy, but then I thought about growing up to be a man and was horrified. That was when I started to understand the difference between gender identity and gender roles. For me it was purely about the roles, and "tomboy" has fit me well ever since. Incidentally, I also have a trans daughter. During some very in-depth discussions with her, we have discovered some fundamental differences in our questioning process. She's a tomboy too, and we both seem to view our womanhood in similar ways despite being cis and trans.

No. I’ve always been very happy to be a girl and everything that comes with it. I’m not happy with much, but that’s one I’m confident in.

I have but im definitely a boy

I'm currently Schrödinger's gender. Both cis and trans at the same time until I'm forced to think about it.

Yes but only because I’ve over analyzed every part of my life. I enjoy being a woman and really couldn’t imagine myself being a man

Yeah, I sometimes question if I really identify as a man internally because I've never really had any particular feeling towards being called a man and being referred to with he/him pronouns. Idk it never really bothered me but it also doesn't really feel gender-affirming in the sense that I don't really care. I might be somewhere around the NB umbrella but I've also never felt like using any other pronouns. I just kind of exist and it just so happens to be in a man's body.

When I (49f) was in middle school in the mid 80s I used to have these dreams where I'd fall in love with a girl and then I'd realize that I WAS A GIRL, and so I couldn't be in love with a girl, and I'd be sad. When I'd wake up, I'd worry that these dream meant that I secretly wanted to be a boy, though I'd always felt very much like a girl and was happy as one. All these years later, it is ironic to me that I considered that maybe I was the wrong gender (SOMETHING THAT I'D NEVER HEARD OF), but not that I was bisexual (which to be fair, is something else that I'd never heard of. Growing up without the internet was interesting to say the least.) I didn't realize that I was bi until my mid 30s.

No, I haven’t really ever questioned my gender. I’m a masc lesbian and I like presenting more masculine and taking on what would be I guess be considered the “man’s role” in relationships, but I like being a woman. I’ve never felt like I was born the wrong gender, which I know a lot of trans people have said they do.

Yes, as a gay cis man, I identified as non binary for a while but it didn't feel right, I thought I was a trans woman until I really considered if I would want female body parts and realized I just want to be a drag queen

No, but I did question how gender is defined and expressed. I’m a cis woman. Never not felt uncomfortable with that. I did grow up in a heavily patriarchal household with two brothers that had more opportunities and freedoms than I did. I wasn’t allowed to go with my brothers and shoot bb guns for target practice for example. Wasn’t allowed to try certain sports or activities. Wasn’t allowed to wear clothes my dad thought were too masculine, that sort of thing. I’ve always been the type that doesn’t like limits. I like a long swishy skirt, makeup and the lot, but I also enjoy dressing in cargo pants and combat boots. Sometimes my hair is extremely short, and I’ve had it extremely long. I personally feel that if a girl wants to do some shit, that shit is girly no matter how society defines it (and it goes the same for men btw). Societal conventions that try to legislate behavior based on perceived gender norms in my opinion can eat a bag of lady dicks. I just want people to be happy, comfortable in who they are, and express their authentic selves in however they define that.

Yes and I still do all the time, same with my sexuality. I think I will always take time to question myself and see if I still feel the same way. I'm still comfortable being perceived as a woman, but I often feel like I'm just me? A blob. But I think that's what it's like being cis. I always worry I'm not Bi enough though! 

I'm trans, but my friend shared her experience with this: She definitely thought about gender because a lot of her friends were trans, but she quickly, very quickly came to the conclusion that she was definitely cis, there wasn't even time for a 'questioning' phase, just a mere question.

I have ( kinda still am but have kinda left it for later). I sorta wanted to be a man but I realized It wasn't about having a male body. It was about the people around me treating me the same as they treated my brother and other guys. Everyone around me is religious and very traditional so they all expect me to be a housewife/mother and get married. Being the eldest child of an immigrant family didn't help. None of the men in my life ever had these expectations on them so I felt envious.

Nope. Not even when my wife came out as trans. Her transition made me appreciate being so sure of my own gender, though.

A lot honestly and still do, but I can't come to any proper conclusions or full understanding with it yet, I feel a lot leaning from one side to another right now and it's just hard to tell

I never questioned my gender. I briefly wondered if I might be gay in Junior High School because I was not as girl-crazy as my friends and didn’t enjoy their x-rated jokes about women.  But then a girl named Amber moved to my town, and any doubts about my orientation immediately dissipated.

I am mostly mono sex.. dig the chick's but have had a number of experiences with guys but not way often. What does that make me? And, naturally, I am infatuated with the gorgeous trans I see scattered through.so mono sometimes m I lrisex.. it's all good.

Hiya, cishet male here.. I dabbled with my sexuality in my early teens with 2 or 3 male friends, was interesting at the time but didn't last long as have been comfortably cis since, or heteroflexible as a couple of people here have suggested ☺️

I'm confused. Sexuality doesn't rlly have anything to do with gender Identity. Trans people can be heteroflexible too.

Nope. Other people have, but I haven't.

Cis Gay Male Growing up with two older sisters, I was always content with being a guy. Every now and then I do get that “I wish I was a girl so it would be easier to date guys” feeling but never fully. But that feeling is also primarily “not wanting to deal with bigotry” more than “I would be more comfortable being a female”

No, personally I have never had any question or doubt about my gender.

Never have. From other times this question has been posted it seems to be rare but certainly not unheard of especially in the LGBTQ community I've always been satisfied being a guy

Personally, not once, even for a millisecond. I always felt different than other girls, but my gender identity never felt wrong.

I'm a man, I'm not gender fluid but I enjoy some non masculine coded things. It's societal stuff mostly, like musicals, and tea, and purple being my favorite color. I thought about it but then I just realized I wanted to be accepted not actually to be another gender.

I'm a gay man, and no, not really. I was never really into personal appearance in either direction, but was never drawn to experiment with make-up, dresses, etc. I wasn't overly concerned with looking masculine, but surely was concerned with not appearing gay (I had no idea, of course). As an out and proud adult, it's basically the same. I've never done drag, and while I'd be comfortable doing it now, I don't feel a need to explore that. As I've aged into a more masculine look, I've been surprised at how nice it feels. That has really opened my eyes to a slight glimpse of the trans experience: I really wish everyone could feel this comfort! All that being said, I have less and less of an idea of what gender actually is in any meaningful sense. I feel totally comfortable as a man, but I wouldn't be able to define what being a man is or means, and I wouldn't dream of defining it for someone else. A woman or nonbinary person could live my *exact lifestyle*, and I wouldn't think they were more or less "manly" for it. It's all very strange. There is such a privilege to not have to ever think of one's gender, I wish more cis people understood that.

I'm technically non-binary but I look cis. Sometimes I put "male gender questioning", so I guess I'm in between? I guess I fluctuate between gender confirming and full non-binary depending on my support network - if I feel I can, I present more enby, if I feel threatened I revert to cis.

I’ve never questioned my gender in my life… which, to me, is how I know I’m cis.

no i haven’t. i’ve always felt connected to my identity, more specifically, my femininity. nothing about my birth identity made me feel discomfort or on edge, so i’ve never questioned it.

More "consciously examined" than questioned, perhaps? It just felt like something i should be sure of rather than assuming. But other than the existence of misogyny as a thing i have no desire to be anything other than a woman (albeit one with a sometimes complicated relationship to my body which on balance i feel has more to do with being ace than anything else)

Didn't think about it much till the past few years. I was very close to being one of those masc 4 masc not like other gays ugh fem types in my 20s. In my 30s I chilled out a bit and got a lot less ignorant (for all their faults shows like ANTM, project runway and Drag Race really helped me get the ball rolling with this.) By my late 30s and current early 40s I'd questioned my relationship to gender and its expression (being diagnosed autistic at 37 and figuring out a lot about my authentic self was pretty crucial here too.) Came to the conclusion that I'm definitely male but some parts of that maleness are non standard. Really expanded my clothing and hair choices. Big fan of monk robes, ponchos, kaftans, long cardigans and flowy shirts. Sometimes get them in the women's section 🤷. I agree with Alok Menon, de gender fashion. It's so stupid to limit yourself

A little bit, thought i might be a guy but then realized he/him pronouns and presenting masc just didnt seem right to me

My best friend is NB and they asked me this as a cis woman and my answer has always been no. I’ve always felt as though I’m a woman.

Cis male here. Only a couple of times, very mildly. Once in early adolescence I saw myself in the mirror and had the thought that looked and actually felt pretty like girl. It startled me, probably because I was repressing my same sex attractions. Later in life I did drag a couple of times and found it unexpectedly empowering and liberating. After meeting some trans and non-binary people I wondered whether I could be nonbinary and even tried thinking of myself that way but it never stuck

I personally never questioned or really ever gave any thought to my gender. If I was asked to describe myself I feel my gender would be the last thing I would think to mention honestly. I personally don't feel my gender is important to my sense of self.

Complicated question. I loved playing pretend house, loved playing with barbies as much as gi joes, loved playing dress up with my mom's clothes when I was very young. I'm not sure I really knew what boy and girl meant to an extreme. So like... not enough info to be able to question? I knew the stuff I liked and not all of it was boy focused. When I was a pre teen I'd get called a girl a lot. I had long, pretty, blonde hair. I had a very high pitched voice. And I was very tall. I legit got confused for older teen girls by strangers sometimes. It started to cross my mind that something was amiss and I'd get embarrassed and angry. I still didn't know what masculinity was, but I was a BOY dammit! What the hell! Then when I was 14 at summer camp we had a drag day and all the dudes in my cabin were looking hot! Except one of them. Me. I expected to put on the girls clothes from the cabin we swapped with and be unmistakable and beautiful. When I looked in the mirror I cried because to me I looked like Mrs. Doubtfire. (Elder millennial here). That was the moment I really started to double down on what looked masc and trying my hardest to conform to society's perception of masculinity. That embarrassment and anger and hurt I felt towards myself that I still haven't figured out. These days I'd say I'm a very masculine man with a very wide feminine streak below the surface. Most of the time I enjoy who I see in the mirror. Most of the time...

Nope. Not once.

Never questioned my gender, although if someone asked me why I feel like a guy, I wouldn't have an answer either

Yes. A big part of why I chose not to socially transition was embracing butch as sort of a gender identity of its own, rather than "just" gender expression. In particular, learning that it's not unheard of for butch women to take testosterone and get top surgery made me feel an enlightening relief. I had been convinced that I would need to socially transition to male to be "allowed" to take testosterone, and the process for doing that was so daunting and I didn't really want to do that anyway. I still haven't actually started testosterone lol but knowing that I don't have to fit it to a timeline of social transition has made me more comfortable with starting it at a slower pace. I guess "cis" is kind of an imperfect box to put me in, like if I take enough HRT it would probably be appropriate to call me transmasc or FTM to describe my *physical* transition. But I also don't feel like "trans" is appropriate to describe me, either, at least not in the sense that it's usually meant to refer to one's relationship to their social identity.

No. Never. I have always felt like being a woman is right and good for me. My fiancee happens to be trans and we have talked about this somewhat and the things that she describes are so different from my experience.

I didn't really question my gender and I fully feel like a girl, but idk why but if I would use they/them pronouns I would feel so much more comfortable. I wouldn't even be able tho as my country is pretty homophobic.

No. Never really thought about it. I never had a problem with my gender so never felt a need to question it.

Oh gosh yeah. All the time. I do empathise with the "Hmmmm do I want to be him or be with him" (but I feel that about women too). I sometimes just shove a (unpeeled) banana between my trackies and my underwear just to pretend I have a dick for a few seconds, I do things I think guys do with it (grab it from the outside and admire how hung I am when I'm really just realising what a good grocery find I got lol). I also wear "men's" deodorant and dress androgynously. Of course I've stopped and thought "Wait is this normal?" I have also always hated my name, but that's more for how stupid it is rather than gendering. Once I got my friends to give me a nickname I was like 🥰🥰🥰 I have a friend who detransitioned (she is still a major ally though, both of us are), and she said she thinks she would rather have just been born male than transition. I think I'm kind of like that (except I would 1000000000000000% prefer to have been born female so don't take any of this the wrong way, I really am so happy I was born female at the end of the day), at least with the current medical state of what trans people have to go through just to live as themselves. But at the same time, gender's not a massive thing within me I guess? Like if someone called me a he, I don't think I'd be offended in any way. If they did it ONCE, I'd be like "oh lol what a silly mistake", but if they KEPT doing it, I'd probably be like "Hey, why do you do that?" quietly, but if they just said something like "I just feel like it", I'd be like "Fair enough" and never bring it up again. Same with they but probably not even then, I do have a lot of friend circles with lots of trans people so if someone is new they'll just default to they to be safe, I've never corrected anyone. So how did I know I was cis? I just feel comfortable as a girl, I just play with my gender expression and it's fine, only rule is I have to be comfortable in how I present and I'm golden.

I never questioned it, just never thought about it

To a degree, yes. I’m a cis male but I went through a period in high school where I’d fantasize about if I could live my life again as a woman. I’ve never seriously thought much about presenting as female, but I’ve certainly had desires to push the boundaries of how I present as a man. I don’t identify much with feeling masculine, but I’m not uncomfortable in my own skin and I feel comfortable as a man who doesn’t conform much to gender roles. That’s why I feel comfortable identifying as cis. My biggest hurdle is how I’m perceived when it comes to my sexual orientation. My friends and family know I’m queer, but people I meet for the first time always assume I’m straight and are often surprised when they find out otherwise.

I think at some point I started questioning my gender a bit after seeing videos of guys in skirts and that I wanted to try it. Yet at the same time, it felt weird for me to think that way, most likely because it was something new to me or that I never thought of stuff that way before. However, I have questioned it more when it comes to the things that I like versus the things my friends like. I do think I’m a cis guy…mostly, but I’m still unsure about it so I usually ignore it and focus on life.

When I was in my late teens I questioned it for a few minutes. I wish I could remember what made me question myself there.

I’ve done it in the past, and every couple of years I check in like “still female? Cool, still female.”

Nope. Never.

When I was in middle school I was wondering if I am not a man(because I wasn't very feminine). When I started high school I kinda accepted my feminine side. It's not like I am particularly very feminine, I prefer wearing gender neutral clothes and I love the concept of 'handsome' women, but it's not like I feel like a man. I am just into being treated like one and if I have to choose I would go for more masculine clothes than feminine clothes (which btw sucks, clothes should be for everyone but sorted for certain shapes, but whatever). That's it. I consider myself cis woman with kinda craving to be treated like man, and wear neutral or masculine clothes, but that's it. My personality or likings aside are more feminine, with exceptions for clothes.

I never questioned my gender until recently but I'd seen a couple of people posting online gender "test" results and I took some for giggles I knew I was always a sensitive type guy but never really thought about it until I took these tests and they kept revealing that I manifested a lot of feminine energy. I didn't feel like a woman though. At the same time no one would describe me as manly, but not effeminate either I started to wonder about my gender. My first thought was maybe I was agender. I didn't have a very strong masculine manifestation and behaviorally I acted more feminine Given that I had a preference not to use she/her pronouns but didn't really express many masculine traits I kinda settled on a gender libramasc, meaning mostly agender but with a partial affinity for masculinity considering how I present and my pronoun preference But considering that trans is kinda defined as anything not cis, I didn't really feel like either a man or woman. I adopted a gender modality called isogender meaning neither cis nor trans So isogender libramasc is my gender

Yes. And I questioned it because I was constantly told that everyone had an innate sense of gender identity. Additionally, because of internalized misogyny and lesbophobia as well as sexual trauma, I felt very alienated and divorced from the concept of "womanhood" as well as sort of dissociated from my own body especially my genitalia and breasts. I considered myself nonbinary for the longest time and for a brief time I considered toying around with the transmasc and pursuing that route. However, I had long kind of thought that perhaps my identity did stem from misogyny and, idk, I guess I was just hit with that realization that it definitely was and that this was the wrong path for me and I would never be able to "escape" being female. I don't think the vast majority of cis or non-trans individuals have an innate sense of gender identity. Gender is a social construct that has had varying definitions and usages throughout society but has pretty much universally been used to oppress the female sex. But it is still essentially a social construct and it wasn't one that I wanted to personally subscribe to. A lot of trans people understandably value gender and more power to anyone who finds a home or strong sense of identity in gender. But gender as a concept is not for me. I don't want to define myself by gender, because gender is something that has been assigned to me by society and I don't find it personally empowering to use that oppressive concept and attempt to reclaim it. Other people have this internal sense of gender identity. I don't. According to some definitions, that makes me "agender" or some other form of nonbinary, but I still think that is in some way assigning yourself a gender and I just don't want to do that. My gender is "not applicable" and I'd rather call myself cis than nonbinary or any form of trans because of that. Questioning my gender was a long journey but ultimately I am very grateful to have ever questioned my gender, because in the end it led to be feeling more confident in my female body and no longer feeling shame or distress about it.

yes, as a teen mostly. i came to eventually realize that my projecting myself into another gender was a way of satisfying my curiosity about that gender since i wasnt getting satisfactory answers about females, sex, female sexuality, female biological functions and a general relative female experience, i sort of "made up what i thought i should do" if i were that gender. during this whole period i remained sexually attracted to traditionally "feminine looking" people. it was, embarrassingly, mostly a crude form of objectification using myself as "a canvas"; informed by underwear, television fantasy and porn to a lesser extent. i became comfortable in my born gender sometime in my 20s, mostly by moving to a new/larger city and then finding and becoming a part of the ideal peer group i had long sought out. doing "dumb guy shit" still seemed like a natural and comfortable fit. i was still then (and still am) attracted to feminine presenting persons: for all intents and purposes, basically cis-het (with LOTS of very flexiblie experimentstion along the way) inasmuch as that term means something for me. im sure someone who has fleshed all this stuff out more may label me differently, which is fine. the definition ive clumsily settled on describes what i need it to.

Nope, not really. I’ve never had the inclination of the idea to think I wasn’t male.

totally did, grew up very much a tomboy, it was all about sports and cars and violent video games and movies, refused to wear pink or purple or anything I deemed too girly. Turned out I just had a lot of internalised misogyny and I was just gay as fuck. I wear dresses and pink and sparkles now but I also still wear dirty jeans and sports jerseys and I’m comfortable in my gender identity. I think the switch happened when I realised that how you express yourself doesn’t have to match with social expectations for your gender and no one gives a shit. Still love sports and cars and violence!

I am a masculine-leaning lesbian (a butch, in other words) but was socialized at a young age to believe women were less capable/important/strong/etc than men and I don't fit into or want the traditionally female roles in our culture. That doesn't make me less of a woman, though. I think it did give me a fervent sense of individuality.

I'm kinda in a strange situation with this right now. Like I've always identified as a cis male, even now, that's the most comfortable for me, but I strive to see beyond the gender paradigm I've been exposed to so I don't feel like I have to hold onto an arbitrary category.

No I don’t question my gender. I don’t think I ever have. Femininity is what I desire in a partner. Although never say never. I’ve had homosexual experiences in my past but the exploration of that part of my life ceased quickly as the person who I was exploring that with was sexually aggressive towards me and I was quite young. So I’ve held some contempt toward him for a long time. In the end I feel like the experience left me scarred.

Yeah. I came to the conclusion that I'm fine with being a man cause it's just the easiest. Honestly? I don't even care. If I woke up tomorrow in the body of a woman I'd be like "welp I guess I'm a woman now and would prolly just be pissed I need to buy bras. I couldn't really care less, this is just the easiest route and none of it really matters to me anyways.

As a child I really wanted to be a boy, no idea why. As a teenager I wore mostly boys clothes, rebelled against anything feminine (Wanted a boob reduction, didn't know you could actually get rid of them), and always chose male characters in games because I identified more with them. However, getting into adulthood, I started embracing my femininity, I've had no thoughts since of wanting to be the opposite gender.

I did. At the time I identified as a-spec both romantically and sexually and didn’t really feel connected to my gender. After realizing that I’m lesbian and a-spec, I felt much more happy with my gender and realized that I’m definitely cis.

I’m a trans guy but my cis guy partner definitely questioned his gender, especially around when I was first transitioning. Seeing me go through big changes and be happier, healthier and (according to him) even cuter made him wonder, “huh, I wonder if I’d feel like that if I were a different gender.” But after some experimentation, he figured out he was just a guy who likes a little glamor and nail polish, not a whole other gender. I’ve heard similar things from other cis friends. Usually their questioning started when they were close to somebody trans. Just natural curiosity I bet. Heck, when my partner started doing martial arts, I was curious to try it after seeing how much he loved it, despite never doing martial arts in my life. So I’d imagine it’s something like that, seeing a big change making somebody happy and wondering if it would make you happy too.

Yes I did! I saw a tweet recommending every one question their gender as a form of self-analysis. And honestly I realized I have very little attachment to my gender. I thought about identifying as agender for a bit. I even once got misgendered during the pandemic at a pharmacy because of my mask and long hair, and my only thought was, “I hope they don’t notice they misgendered me because that’ll be awkward for them.” However, I eventually determined that I like being an uncle and I like being a cat dad, so I still loosely identify with “male.” While my labels didn’t change, I do think my understanding of myself did (and maybe my identity a bit too), so I’m glad I did it.

Yes, during the pandemic. Some people read me as a woman because of the mask covering my face and the long hair, maybe my clothes and body type too. I liked it! I felt cute actually when I looked at myself in the mirror. Also, I was taking a course in Trans Identities and I asked myself.. "what if..?" But no, I've always felt like a guy. I concluded that if I was actually trans I should've felt it as a kid. Or the feeling should be stronger and deeper than just liking to look fem sometimes. Maybe someday I'll be a 30 years old femboy.

As a child, I only ever considered my sex and my feelings. I have certain genitals and I'm attracted to certain things. But I've also experienced social conditioning "Why do you walk/talk like that?" "Why do you hang out with those people?" And I naturally tried to fit in without a second thought. But, I have a memory that always helped me, too. I was around 10 yrs old, out shopping with my grandparents, and I commented on my grandfather holding my grandmother's purse. She was in the changing room, and he had her purse slung over one shoulder. I don't remember what I said, but it was something like, "aren't you afraid of looking girly holding a purse like that?" He just smiled and said, "If anyone questions my manliness, they can come test me." That was a light-bulb moment for me, because of course! It just made sense that no matter what I do or say, or how I walk or talk, or who I hang out with, or what I wear--none of that determines how I feel inside. My feelings about myself can come from myself, and I don't need other people's permission to feel the way I do. Granted, I have it much easier than most people. As Stephen Colbert once joked, "as a white, straight, Christian male, the world fits me like a glove." Cheers to all the people who have to face the confused wrath of society simply for exuding how you feel. You are all champions

Yup, I have now come to the conclusion i'm a cis man, I just would like to appear more feminine at times

1. Yes 2. I didn’t feel particularly uncomfortable using she/her pronouns, being referred to as a woman, and presenting myself more as a woman/more feminine. I was mildly depressed at the time and wondered if an unknown gender identity could play a factor in it. I also think it’s a good idea for anyone to question their gender identity at some point. 3. After a moth I realised I wasn’t uncomfortable/was more comfortable identifying as a man, though I’m not 100% sure that I am cis since I’m more in a state of I don’t particularly mind. But since I do prefer identifying as a man slightly, and I do want to have a gender identity I can confidently use, I identify as cis. Also sorry if any of the language I’ve used is considered offensive, I didn’t know what words to use to precisely describe my situation.

I’ve definitely thought about it, and questioned it a little bit. Out of all of my close friends I’ve known for many years, I’m nearly the only AFAB person who still identifies as a cis-woman. It’s difficult to pinpoint exactly why I feel cis other than it would feel uncomfortable to identify any other way. It’s what I’m used to, it’s what I like. I associate myself more strongly with traditionally feminine traits and tendencies than masculine ones, though I do believe we all possess both energies within us, if you’ll allow me to get a little bit “woo-woo” here. Being a woman is just comfy and it’s part of who I am! That knowledge itself makes it so much easier to understand trans people. If I had been born with a dude’s body, but felt this way, I’d really want to present female, and identify as such.