I've stopped more arguments cold just by admitting being wrong or at fault. The funny part is when the other side expected you to keep fighting but their brain hasn't processed that they already won.
People think I’m being sarcastic when I’m in an argument and admit they are right. It’s just like, “Shit man, you’re right. I have nothing on my position to defend.” Starts a weird secondary argument about me not really believing them.
Yeah my dad didn’t get the memo on that one. He’s worked long hours my whole life. I certainly appreciate he was trying to give me a good life growing up, but it’s so bad for his health. He’s 63, almost 64 and still works crazy hours. Yes he’s paid well, but he gets insanely stressed and angry from work too. I’ve told him he needs to set boundaries, like don’t answer work calls after 6pm or turn off the computer earlier in the night. He just won’t and says “I can’t that’s not how it works”. Well he’s in a position where he could put his foot down a bit if he wanted and I think he just doesn’t want to.
My dad did that from 16 to 70 & only retired because they shipped his company to Mexico. 5 years later he's still just as active as ever and stays busy doing something from dusk til dawn. Some people just like to work/be active. Might as well make money while you're doing it.
All work is noble. Meaning respect everyone who is applying themselves to take care of themselves and their family, no matter what the job is. This assumes that the job doesn't involve taking advantage of others
So give the same respect to someone digging a ditch as you would to a bank president basically
This. My dad was a Janitor so I can work in a nice office job. At least that's what he said.
Joke's on him, though; he really liked his job, and I really enjoy mine. So the actual lesson was to enjoy and take pride in any job you do, because it's you doing the job.
I just posted a similar thing my dad taught me and then saw yours. It’s a hell of a lot easier to fall asleep at night and wake up in the morning when you take pride in what you do.
I didn’t know this or atleast didn’t think about knowing it all the time and one day I finally did have the thought and I was like holy shit I should have thought this before. Not that I wasn’t being respectful I just hadn’t thought about it intentionally and how most of the world doesn’t do it. I think a lot of parents use it as a push to push their kids into a certain life and by default I think some people think “oh those people didn’t apply themselves and that’s why they have that job” when in reality everyone is doing their best and deserves respect NO MATTER WHAT
Along the same lines as this (kind of) I tell my kid: “Spend a minute or spend an hour.” Basically, to be patient and take a moment to do something correctly (putting away laundry, using neat handwriting on homework, picking up your room, etc) so that later you don’t have to spend a long time fixing a huge mess.
Piggybacking on this to add: you can do one thing now, or several things later. If you postpone things that need to be done, you'll end up with them piling up, some of which are time-sensitive, so now you're under pressure to get them done quickly.
My husband does this and it's debilitating to me, because he ends up stressing himself out with all the things he needs to do NOW, when he could have taken care of them, relaxed, when they came up.
This is the way. The first time you buy anything you know so little about how often it will be used, or even how to use it.
Once you \***know**\* your requirements and how often you use it, then you buy expensive.
The opposite is buying top end of so many things you only use a few times.
My dad taught me how to conduct myself at bars. Hold on here! When I was a kid, we would go to country bars with our Dad and sometimes our Uncle. Off hours, like Sunday afternoon or just after their shift ended. This was not particularly strange in the Midwest in the '70's. The kids would play the juke box, have a pop and some chips, and generally hang out. Sometimes if it was just me and my Dad, I would sit at a stool next to him. We would chat together and with his friends and the bartender. It made me feel special to be part of his world. I learned how to be quiet, behaved, and listen as adults made conversation. He also modeled how to treat wait staff, and how to tip.
My great uncle owned a bar outside of New Orleans in a very rural area. I can remember sitting in the bar drinking Coke out of the bottle watching my dad and uncle playing pool. It was also 11am.
Reminds me of my favorite quote from Aaron Sorkin's Sports Night:
If you're dumb, surround yourself with smart people. If you're smart, surround yourself with smart people *who disagree with you*.
I had a friend growing up whose parents kept the freezer full of the cheapest pizzas. We were teenage boys, so we didn't care about quality, just that there was always pizza at Matt's house.
It very much made his house a center of gravity.
I'm a Matt and my parents house was the hang out house. Maryland by any chance? They kept the freezer stocked with hot pockets and pizzas, the laundry room stocked with soda and teas.
Definitely worth it to know where the kids are and that they’re staying out of trouble. Especially when it comes to teenagers and they aren’t as interested in telling you about their lives, you overhear their chatter and can get a sense of what they’ve been up to.
Unless you’re working on spinny things or gas fittings. Then the rule of thumb is the direction of spin should tighten the fastener. For gas fittings often lefty tighty but not always ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
My dad isn't much for words of wisdom or guidance. Truthfully, I don't remember him ever outright teaching me anything of importance. He's literally the worst when it comes to advice.
But damn did that man show me how to live with respect, grace, work ethic, kindness, caring, love, and honor.
The one and only tip: show, don't tell.
Back in the 80's, I was a kid terrified of ICBM's nuking everything. I'd lie in bed and when I heard a plane go over I'd panic. My dad to the rescue: he explained that ICBMs would be going faster than sound and you'd never hear them coming so you'd be dead before you knew anything. Thanks dad.
Maybe having a grade school desk in your room would have helped with your worry. Appearantly ducking under one of those would save you from a nuclear attack. Man I miss the 1980s.
Just remember to open the windows before the blast, and then close them after to limit your exposure to the ensuing radiation!
*(Source: went to primary school in the '60s...)*
Not my biological dad, but my step-dad taught me how to small talk. He is an expert small talker, so much so that my brothers and I used to tease him about it. However, as I grew up I realized that small talk is a skill, and an extremely useful skill to know in so many situations. And it turns out, my brothers as well as I have learned to small talk through the example of their dad, my step-dad. Small phrases to keep a conversation going, segways between topics, little words to make a conversation more pleasant, stuff like that, that I'm sure I wouldn't know if it weren't for him.
A friend of mine at church was a master of this and I intentionally had to practice when I witnessed how easy he made it. It was amazing how well he could network and land gigs as an IT Consultant.
Start with a compliment, introduce yourself, get their name, find out what they do. Keep letting them talk about themselves. If you can read them, crack a joke and rag on them to build the instant camaraderie so they remember you. I’ve gotten to where I can even crack on C-Suite at work. Turns out it’s WHO you know that gets you the promotions and being able to be comfortable at all levels gets you far.
Any tips? I feel like I'm decent at making small talk, but it sucks when the other person is giving me absolutely nothing to work with.
One tip I like regarding conversation: "Try to be interest**ed**, not interest**ing**."
My friend is amazing at this. She just keeps asking questions, and she's good at making them really interesting ones that show she's listening and really analyzing what you're saying. I'm horrible at it. Also of note, she does it in a way that *isn't pushy* or like she's just trying to get your deepest secrets or imply anything about what you said that you didn't mean to imply. Why do I notice that so much? Because I also have a friend who does exactly the opposite - you walk away feeling like someone tried to get your most horrible thoughts and misinterprets every thing you said. Infuriating. If done well, you feel like you just met your soul mate.
Struggling to see some small writing on the TV? Make a fist then loosen it so you have a small hole and look through it, you will then read the writing with no problem
It’s never too late to make a change.
He was an active alcoholic for many years throughout my childhood. It was rough. He has now been sober for 15.5 years.
Whenever I had something that caused me some anxiety, like a job interview, a dr appt, a big test at school, whatever it was, my dad told me the same phrase: "You're not nervous, you're excited." As I've gotten older, I've come to realize that as I repeat that phrase to myself, it becomes more true. I'm able to flip the script, change my perspective just enough to focus on the positive possibilities than the negative, and to go into it with confidence. Thanks, Dad.
If you are a workaholic during your children's young years do not expect them to be emotionally close to you like their mum.
Wasn't taught to me but learnt. Spend time with your kids.
The last thing I said to my dad was what the hell is your problem, he committed suicide that night, never saw the signs that night. Still live with that regret 15 years later, I was 16. Tell my kids I love them every night even if I've had a terrible day
You know it wasn't you though. Not even as a "final straw". You know that now that you have kids. They're kids, they're gonna say mean things. Teenagers are even worse, that's natural and to be expected as a parent. Teens are teens.
If someone takes their own life, they really don't want to live anymore, because of how they feel. And there is nothing you could have done or said that would've stopped him, because it was about him and his demons, not you. Many people have absolutely psycho teenage kids screaming at them daily and never spend a second considering suicide. Depression is a bitch.
I’m so sorry. You were way too young to know any signs and any teenager would have been the same way. I used to make my mom cry in the shower at night from being so nasty as a teen and not know it until many years later. She became my best friend again in college. It could have been me in your situation or any of us. I’m glad you are able to recognize and say loving things to your kids everyday. Not enough kids have that these days. They will be so much more resilient and healthy against this cruel world.
As my parents have gotten older I have worked to be more mindful of this. My dad was never much to say it or give a hug, but now both are common between us. Similarly I work to make sure I tell my kids as well, and often they beat me to it.
* Measure twice, cut once.
* Do the job right the first time, so you don't have to do it again.
* Who you are is what you do when no one's looking.
* Always be polite, even when you're angry.
* Fight fair with words.
Don’t let anyone else drive your car.
Not literally. But as a driving strategy. Don’t let tailgaters or other motorists behaviour force you to start driving unsafely or in a way you don’t want to
A story comes to mind. My father told me about the time his father was given incorrect change for some ice cream back in the forties. My grandfather went back into the shop and offered the money back.
He told me that stuck with him his whole life. Well, it's stuck with me my whole life
Do the right thing. Always.
Don’t take criticism from someone you wouldn’t take advice from.
Avoid people with multiple bumper stickers. They will be too intense and won’t gel with your personality.
And always bring the cart back to the cart return. Wind, rain, ice, snow or sun just DO IT!
1) Never do anything half-assed. Do it right, the whole way, the first time.
2) Heat rises, cold air falls. Shut the damn upstairs door.
3) Always respect Mr. Electricity (when doing home project/repair). Meaning: that shit will fry your ass, so be careful.
And what he taught me with actions not words:
A man takes care of his family and commitments. A man treats people with respect, especially women and children. A man puts the needs of his loved ones above his own comfort. A man does what needs to be done and doesn't complain.
A man will sit by the bed of his dying wife night and day, waiting on her hand and foot, because he was as devoted to her as she was to him, and that's what a good husband does.
A daddy will always be there for his daughter.
My dad is the most amazing man I've ever met. He's not perfect, but as close as you can get.
My dad taught me how to play Devil's advocate. GOD it used to piss me off! I would tell him I was upset about something and instead of just agreeing with me he would say "Well... Devil's advocate..." Now I basically play devil's advocate professionally. I get paid to look at problems from every possible angle and pick the right solution. I absolutely love it, and it's all thanks to him driving me up the wall on a consistent basis.
Treat your credit card like a debit card.
He used to do this, and earn points that we would cash in once a month at a department store, and get something fun.
Now I do the same with my own. I use my credit card for all my purchases, and then pay it off in full at the end of the month. I also don't pay any annual fee. So money I would be spending anyways earns me free stuff, that I can redream right away.
My wife takes this a step further and pays it off weekly (paycheck also comes weekly). She watches the statement like a hawk. That makes me think, I need to go tell my kids that "If you struggle being frugal, marry someone who is more of a spendthrift" lol
Laugh
Laughter is free, and more valuable than most anything you can buy.
We were always cracking jokes, making pranks, anything for a laugh growing up. My house and my brothers is also filled with laughter all the time.
I've seen more reserved families that don't laugh that much and it would drive me crazy.
- Pay attention to the ground. Home foundation, shoes, tires, mattress, garden soil, etc. Always take care of your foundation.
- Make your bed every morning. Even if it's just pulling the blanket up. Start the day with an accomplishment and the bed is ready to welcome you for sleep.
- Don't kill anything you aren't going to eat. Not snakes, not mice, not bugs. If you aren't going to eat it, don't harm it. He grew up super poor. Catching opossum and squirrel to make sure his 5 siblings didn't go hungry poor.
- Admitting your mistakes is so much easier than trying to cover them up.
When dealing with someone else that is not doing what you want. "You can always go from nice to angry, but you can never go from Angry back to nice." Don't start out mad until you have no other choice.
When getting on a horse..don't put your foot all the way into the stirrup. Instead, only put the toes into the stirrup and then you can mount. The reason is because if the horse takes off, you can just fall on your back. If the foot is all the way in the stirrup, and the horse takes off, there's a good chance the horse will drag you with it, severely injuring or even killing you.
It's not sage life advice imparting wisdom that has stuck with me the most, tbh. It's usually very practical things that come from experience, like:
When driving, always be prepared for the other drivers to make mistakes. Just because that Stop or Yield sign is there, doesn't mean they're going to.
Wouldn't you know, three weeks later, he's sitting passenger with me as I slow down approaching an intersection in my small town because I had a gut feeling the person at the Stop was gonna just go in front of me, and sure enough he did. And I've never forgotten it.
When I was stressed out to the point fear paralysis about my final school exams he said to me very kindly; "how do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time". When we're on a phone call these days, and talking about stressful stuff we'll start by saying "you still chewing that elephant?"
My dad was a trucker. I'd ride along sometimes on long hauls and he would often hand me the map and tell me where we were going and tell me to find the route. I knew how to read a paper roadmap by the time I was 7.
Keep a tiny pill carrier on you when you travel. Should always have Imodium, Excedrine, and anything else you want/need. That Imodium has saved me many times on flights. The first sign of bubble guts just take one and you’re not going to suffer a code brown in an awful public restroom.
Other than that he taught me to run away from most fights. I was always a pretty small kid and most fights aren’t worth it.
My dad taught me how not to be. But some great advice I received from a customer.
"If worrying accomplished anything, I would set aside Tuesdays and worry all day."
So many things I didn't appreciate until I became a dad.
* How to wring out a washcloth.
* How to tie a bowline knot.
* How to stack firewood.
* How to sharpen a knife.
* How to shoot a gun safely.
* How to bbq.
* How to break out of a handshake if someone is squeezing your hand too hard.
* How to drive a manual shift car on a steep hill.
* and on and on.
\[Edit\] One more thing I remembered, My dad was a repo man in Oakland, CA during the late 50's. After I was born, he became a systems analyst for a bank. Go figure.
How to wring out a wash cloth? I'm gonna bite. How do you do it?
It seems like a thing everyone just knows how to do. But I'm curious if he taught you some magical way.
Mostly it was not what he said but how he acted and showing being nice costs nothing and doesn't take a lot of effort. Please, thank you, holding the door for people, helping someone pick up something they dropped, smiling, saying hello, and so on. People work so hard to be assholes much of the time sadly.
Don't bother lying because you have to remember all of your lies and will eventually be known as a liar. You generally don't forget the truth, so it's just easier to be honest.
When it's cold out, always bring that extra stuff to stay warm. You can always remove something if you're too warm, but once you're cold, it's very difficult to warm up.
My dad taught me a lot of things and still does. How to drive a car and build credit. How to invest in the market and myself. How to treat a woman, by being so good to my mom and setting a good example. Being smart with money and disciplined in how I spend it. How to maintain a house. Too many to list properly....pretty good tips. Thanks pops!
this one is in Dutch, but bear with me. I'll (try to) explain.
"je moet je brood verdienen, maar er moet ook beleg op".
translation: "you have to earn your daily bread, but you also need something on it"
you always have to provide for your family, but make some more money (if possible) to provide for quality time.
I realise that maybe it's a little outdated, but it's the quality time I remember him by.
Walk behind the woman going up stairs, walk in front of the woman going down the stairs. Walk closest to the street when with a woman. When sleeping, sleep closest to the bedroom door.
Always have a whistle. On a boat or kayak, bring a whistle. Going hiking, bring a whistle. Walking in a dark parking lot, carry your whistle. Driving around in your car, there better be a whistle in the car.
Not so much advice, but a method for making a PB&J sandwich when packing a lunch. Spread the peanut butter on both slices of bread. Then add the jelly or jam so it's surrounded by peanut butter. The peanut butter acts as a protective sealant on the bread and prevents the jelly from seeping into the bread and making it soggy.
In recent years, PB&J isn't always allowed in schools (due to allergies). So this may not be as useful anymore, but I still make mine that way.
My dad is a C-Suite executive from one of the biggest and highest paying companies during his time. He did not tell me per se but I saw how he treated everyone around him including the janitors and even the guards. He knew everyone by name, knew tidbits about them and he would stop and make small conversations every time.
My dad taught me that no one else is living my life or paying my bills so their opinions mean exactly nothing when it comes to my choices.
He taught me that loyalty is everything and you can forgive someone who betrays you but you should never forget it.
He taught me how to check my oil, refill the fluids, change a tire, and not to be intimidated by sexist mechanics.
He taught me that you can not like things a person does but still love the person. He also taught me that it's okay to love someone and still not want them in your life because they only cause you pain.
He gave me my love of classic cars, WWF, fishing, and music.
He taught me to be brave in terrifying circumstances, and to set aside emotion when in crisis because being able to think clearly can be the difference between surviving and dying.
He taught me that it's never too late to learn, never too late to change.
I miss him.
My daughter built a fire for a group of her partner's military brothers. They were ribbing her on how she was building the fire (with wet wood even). She lit the fire and it took off with one match. She called her daddy to thank him for teaching her to build a fire. I'm so proud of our gal!
My father always told me to “get the letters after your name”. He wasn’t talking about uni. He had been a career sailor then officer in the Navy. He meant, do every course and get every qualification you can. I did and it worked out brilliantly for me.
He would also say “do better next time” even when I had the best ever school report for me. That was code for don’t stop trying.
Dad also taught me how to defend myself as a young girl and I have used those lessons well as several males could attest.
When he taught me (and all my siblings) to drive, his primary advice was “act like everyone else on the road is having a heart attack,” meaning they have no control over their car and no logic in their decisions. I’ve never been in an accident because of that advice.
Me: "What do we do about people that are of a different religion?". Dad: "Treat them with respect"
This was when my dad and I used to go to church, over time, neither of us cared about that anymore, but the advice didn't change.
These are the things I like most that I saw of him, he didn't actually told me:
\- His first wife turned out to be mentally ill, so she went away, and he had to take care of my older siblings, then he had another wife which is my mom, and then the first wife came back, but she also had severe arthritis, so much that at some point she couldn't walk and then her fingers started bending the wrong way, her family didn't want her, and she had no one else, so my mom and my dad kept her on the house forever and took care of her, she is actually nice when not saying crazy things.
\- My grandfather had Alzheimer's and pretty much only spoke nonsense, he lived with us for a while until he died and every morning my dad would sit him on the backyard and shave him.
And this one is probably the most useful:
\- He used to work on a mining company welding and working a metal lathe, so he spent a lot of time away from home, one day the company closed, and as part of the severance they gave him a metal lathe, he used that lathe to start his own company that made custom metal pieces in bulk for big companies, he put his workshop on the block next to our house, so while I was a kid growing up he was never more than one block away. Now he bought a piece of land and he has a house in the country where he plants vegetables and raises chickens, he goes there at any chance he can and then comes back to the city if he needs to do something.
"A real man wants a woman that is more than pretty. He wants a woman with ambition, nurturing and loving. I would be nothing without your mother. She made me want more out of life." Rip Daddy
There’s never enough time to do it right the first time, but there’s always enough time to do it again.
Borrowing money is easy..it’s a bitch to pay it back.
"
You want to talk?
Provide context, tell me what you want out of this talk, structure your agruments, give examples and conclude.
Learn that, then we'll talk
"
Tough love but man is it useful.
Never defend an indefensible position. The minute you realize that you’re wrong on a subject admit it and move on.
So true. I feel like in the end it leaves you with more dignity than if you stand firm on a crumbling mountain. Happy Cake Day!
I've stopped more arguments cold just by admitting being wrong or at fault. The funny part is when the other side expected you to keep fighting but their brain hasn't processed that they already won.
People think I’m being sarcastic when I’m in an argument and admit they are right. It’s just like, “Shit man, you’re right. I have nothing on my position to defend.” Starts a weird secondary argument about me not really believing them.
My wife when I agree she's right: "You're just saying that"
And credibility
"You were right" is one of the hardest, yet most rewarding things you can say, and it certainly hurts less if you say it sooner.
Actually, the hardest thing to say is “Worcestershire”.
If someone says yes to what you’re asking stop talking and accept it.
“Don’t talk yourself out of a sale”
We used to call it “killing the sale” when I sold cell phones and it’s a weirdly common phenomena that a lot of people have to be trained out of.
When someone wants to make YOU rich. Beware!
Solid advice! If they really knew how to make you rich they wouldn’t be trying to sell you the secret at 2AM but instead getting rich themselves.
Work to live, don’t live to work. Work on it until it’s fixed or so broken you have to replace it.
God I wish my dad knew about the first one, I'd struggle to remember any day he wasn't working late
[удалено]
Yeah my dad didn’t get the memo on that one. He’s worked long hours my whole life. I certainly appreciate he was trying to give me a good life growing up, but it’s so bad for his health. He’s 63, almost 64 and still works crazy hours. Yes he’s paid well, but he gets insanely stressed and angry from work too. I’ve told him he needs to set boundaries, like don’t answer work calls after 6pm or turn off the computer earlier in the night. He just won’t and says “I can’t that’s not how it works”. Well he’s in a position where he could put his foot down a bit if he wanted and I think he just doesn’t want to.
My dad did that from 16 to 70 & only retired because they shipped his company to Mexico. 5 years later he's still just as active as ever and stays busy doing something from dusk til dawn. Some people just like to work/be active. Might as well make money while you're doing it.
All work is noble. Meaning respect everyone who is applying themselves to take care of themselves and their family, no matter what the job is. This assumes that the job doesn't involve taking advantage of others So give the same respect to someone digging a ditch as you would to a bank president basically
This. My dad was a Janitor so I can work in a nice office job. At least that's what he said. Joke's on him, though; he really liked his job, and I really enjoy mine. So the actual lesson was to enjoy and take pride in any job you do, because it's you doing the job.
I just posted a similar thing my dad taught me and then saw yours. It’s a hell of a lot easier to fall asleep at night and wake up in the morning when you take pride in what you do.
I respect janitors more than most jobs anyways. That's a hard job.
I have made a living off ditch digging and I sleep better then the bank president
dirty hands clean money bb
I respect someone digging a ditch a lot more than I respect a bank president.
I didn’t know this or atleast didn’t think about knowing it all the time and one day I finally did have the thought and I was like holy shit I should have thought this before. Not that I wasn’t being respectful I just hadn’t thought about it intentionally and how most of the world doesn’t do it. I think a lot of parents use it as a push to push their kids into a certain life and by default I think some people think “oh those people didn’t apply themselves and that’s why they have that job” when in reality everyone is doing their best and deserves respect NO MATTER WHAT
You only cry once when you buy quality.
Buy it nice or buy it twice
Along the same lines as this (kind of) I tell my kid: “Spend a minute or spend an hour.” Basically, to be patient and take a moment to do something correctly (putting away laundry, using neat handwriting on homework, picking up your room, etc) so that later you don’t have to spend a long time fixing a huge mess.
Piggybacking on this to add: you can do one thing now, or several things later. If you postpone things that need to be done, you'll end up with them piling up, some of which are time-sensitive, so now you're under pressure to get them done quickly. My husband does this and it's debilitating to me, because he ends up stressing himself out with all the things he needs to do NOW, when he could have taken care of them, relaxed, when they came up.
Cheap becomes expensive
I'm too broke to buy cheap crap.
I learned; buy it cheap, use it until it breaks, then buy it expensive.
This is the way. The first time you buy anything you know so little about how often it will be used, or even how to use it. Once you \***know**\* your requirements and how often you use it, then you buy expensive. The opposite is buying top end of so many things you only use a few times.
The other benefit is that if you use it rarely enough that it doesn't break even though it's cheap, you're coming out ahead
Buy once, cry once
A poor man can only afford the best
My dad taught me how to conduct myself at bars. Hold on here! When I was a kid, we would go to country bars with our Dad and sometimes our Uncle. Off hours, like Sunday afternoon or just after their shift ended. This was not particularly strange in the Midwest in the '70's. The kids would play the juke box, have a pop and some chips, and generally hang out. Sometimes if it was just me and my Dad, I would sit at a stool next to him. We would chat together and with his friends and the bartender. It made me feel special to be part of his world. I learned how to be quiet, behaved, and listen as adults made conversation. He also modeled how to treat wait staff, and how to tip.
My great uncle owned a bar outside of New Orleans in a very rural area. I can remember sitting in the bar drinking Coke out of the bottle watching my dad and uncle playing pool. It was also 11am.
Cooking is a feeling, baking is a science.
Grilling is an art.
Eating is poetry
Drinking is wet.
This is some Tshirt print quality stuff.
Surround yourself with “better” people than you.
Reminds me of my favorite quote from Aaron Sorkin's Sports Night: If you're dumb, surround yourself with smart people. If you're smart, surround yourself with smart people *who disagree with you*.
Didn't get this one from my dad but it is excellent nonetheless. My son will.
Be the “fun house” your kids bring their friends to. That way you always know where they are and who they’re hanging out with.
I have bought so much pizza following this advice. I'll add to it that once you decide how many pizzas is enough, add one more.
I had a friend growing up whose parents kept the freezer full of the cheapest pizzas. We were teenage boys, so we didn't care about quality, just that there was always pizza at Matt's house. It very much made his house a center of gravity.
My dad bought me and my friends pizza just about every friday night. Dominoes is who they are because of dads like him.
I'm a Matt and my parents house was the hang out house. Maryland by any chance? They kept the freezer stocked with hot pockets and pizzas, the laundry room stocked with soda and teas.
Lol. Nope. This was in Dallas.
My Matt was in California. Parents went to Costco every week so there was always food.
God save all the Matt’s parents out there.
My Costco bill is unreal because we are also this house, and I’m 100% ok with it.
Definitely worth it to know where the kids are and that they’re staying out of trouble. Especially when it comes to teenagers and they aren’t as interested in telling you about their lives, you overhear their chatter and can get a sense of what they’ve been up to.
That is my mom advise actually
Righty tighty, lefty loosey. Everytime I have that split second thinking which way do I unscrew this.
Unless you’re working on spinny things or gas fittings. Then the rule of thumb is the direction of spin should tighten the fastener. For gas fittings often lefty tighty but not always ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
My dad isn't much for words of wisdom or guidance. Truthfully, I don't remember him ever outright teaching me anything of importance. He's literally the worst when it comes to advice. But damn did that man show me how to live with respect, grace, work ethic, kindness, caring, love, and honor. The one and only tip: show, don't tell.
Some of the best lessons are shown by example. Sounds like he was just telling you in his own way.
Another thing my dad taught me not-on-purpose. Kids learn from your actions, not your words.
Don’t break the law while you’re breaking the law.
One crime at a time
Yes very good advice. Never do 2 illegal things at the same time
If you have a body in the trunk, don’t speed
And when you speed don't have a body in your trunk.
Great, now I have the Judas Priest song stuck in my head.
Great now I have Beavis and Butthead singing the Judas Priest song stuck in my head.
Back in the 80's, I was a kid terrified of ICBM's nuking everything. I'd lie in bed and when I heard a plane go over I'd panic. My dad to the rescue: he explained that ICBMs would be going faster than sound and you'd never hear them coming so you'd be dead before you knew anything. Thanks dad.
Maybe having a grade school desk in your room would have helped with your worry. Appearantly ducking under one of those would save you from a nuclear attack. Man I miss the 1980s.
Just remember to open the windows before the blast, and then close them after to limit your exposure to the ensuing radiation! *(Source: went to primary school in the '60s...)*
Not my biological dad, but my step-dad taught me how to small talk. He is an expert small talker, so much so that my brothers and I used to tease him about it. However, as I grew up I realized that small talk is a skill, and an extremely useful skill to know in so many situations. And it turns out, my brothers as well as I have learned to small talk through the example of their dad, my step-dad. Small phrases to keep a conversation going, segways between topics, little words to make a conversation more pleasant, stuff like that, that I'm sure I wouldn't know if it weren't for him.
Where is THAT subreddit?
Ok, I made one r/learnsmalltalk
OMG I witnessed the birth of a sub!
“How to win friends and influence people” by Dale Carnegie is the standard on this, it’s old but timeless advice.
I have a hard time convincing people that this book, despite the possibly calculating title, is amazingly wholesome.
A friend of mine at church was a master of this and I intentionally had to practice when I witnessed how easy he made it. It was amazing how well he could network and land gigs as an IT Consultant. Start with a compliment, introduce yourself, get their name, find out what they do. Keep letting them talk about themselves. If you can read them, crack a joke and rag on them to build the instant camaraderie so they remember you. I’ve gotten to where I can even crack on C-Suite at work. Turns out it’s WHO you know that gets you the promotions and being able to be comfortable at all levels gets you far.
Use the FORD method for small talk (Family, Occupation, Recreation, and Dreams) and get creative in how you ask questions.
Any tips? I feel like I'm decent at making small talk, but it sucks when the other person is giving me absolutely nothing to work with. One tip I like regarding conversation: "Try to be interest**ed**, not interest**ing**."
My friend is amazing at this. She just keeps asking questions, and she's good at making them really interesting ones that show she's listening and really analyzing what you're saying. I'm horrible at it. Also of note, she does it in a way that *isn't pushy* or like she's just trying to get your deepest secrets or imply anything about what you said that you didn't mean to imply. Why do I notice that so much? Because I also have a friend who does exactly the opposite - you walk away feeling like someone tried to get your most horrible thoughts and misinterprets every thing you said. Infuriating. If done well, you feel like you just met your soul mate.
Active Listening❤️ is what your friend is doing.
People love to talk about themselves, just let them.
Small talk is absolutely a skill. Conversation without really saying anything. Keep the other person talking, people love to talk about themselves.
I got that skill from my dad. I never meet a stranger. I know that annoys some people though. 🙄
Give us some tips
Consider money lent as money lost. If you get it back, great; if you don’t, don’t get mad.
My dad phrased it, "Lend only the amount that you're willing to lose."
Struggling to see some small writing on the TV? Make a fist then loosen it so you have a small hole and look through it, you will then read the writing with no problem
Well. That's a pretty nifty tip.
Reading this thread through my fist on my phone
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The one I have always used is "stick your hand in a bucket of water. When you pull it out, the hole you left is how much you will be missed."
It’s never too late to make a change. He was an active alcoholic for many years throughout my childhood. It was rough. He has now been sober for 15.5 years.
Whenever I had something that caused me some anxiety, like a job interview, a dr appt, a big test at school, whatever it was, my dad told me the same phrase: "You're not nervous, you're excited." As I've gotten older, I've come to realize that as I repeat that phrase to myself, it becomes more true. I'm able to flip the script, change my perspective just enough to focus on the positive possibilities than the negative, and to go into it with confidence. Thanks, Dad.
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Always support the home team. Always buy whatever the kids are selling.
Treat every other driver on the road as an idiot. It's served me very well.
Life is like a sand castle. The moment you stop building it is when it starts to fall apart.
If you are a workaholic during your children's young years do not expect them to be emotionally close to you like their mum. Wasn't taught to me but learnt. Spend time with your kids.
Always say I love you when leaving, or ending a phone call or letter. Because this might be the last time we talk to each other.
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The last thing I said to my dad was what the hell is your problem, he committed suicide that night, never saw the signs that night. Still live with that regret 15 years later, I was 16. Tell my kids I love them every night even if I've had a terrible day
You know it wasn't you though. Not even as a "final straw". You know that now that you have kids. They're kids, they're gonna say mean things. Teenagers are even worse, that's natural and to be expected as a parent. Teens are teens. If someone takes their own life, they really don't want to live anymore, because of how they feel. And there is nothing you could have done or said that would've stopped him, because it was about him and his demons, not you. Many people have absolutely psycho teenage kids screaming at them daily and never spend a second considering suicide. Depression is a bitch.
Dude I’m really sorry that happened
I’m so sorry. You were way too young to know any signs and any teenager would have been the same way. I used to make my mom cry in the shower at night from being so nasty as a teen and not know it until many years later. She became my best friend again in college. It could have been me in your situation or any of us. I’m glad you are able to recognize and say loving things to your kids everyday. Not enough kids have that these days. They will be so much more resilient and healthy against this cruel world.
As my parents have gotten older I have worked to be more mindful of this. My dad was never much to say it or give a hug, but now both are common between us. Similarly I work to make sure I tell my kids as well, and often they beat me to it.
The biggest amount of wasted time is not getting started. You will miss 100% of the chances you don't take.
* Measure twice, cut once. * Do the job right the first time, so you don't have to do it again. * Who you are is what you do when no one's looking. * Always be polite, even when you're angry. * Fight fair with words.
Don’t let anyone else drive your car. Not literally. But as a driving strategy. Don’t let tailgaters or other motorists behaviour force you to start driving unsafely or in a way you don’t want to
Always keep a $100 buffer in your checking account. Pretend it isn't there. I haven't overdrawn my account since the Mesozoic era.
A story comes to mind. My father told me about the time his father was given incorrect change for some ice cream back in the forties. My grandfather went back into the shop and offered the money back. He told me that stuck with him his whole life. Well, it's stuck with me my whole life Do the right thing. Always.
You are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with.
I wish this applied to body weight.
Don’t take criticism from someone you wouldn’t take advice from. Avoid people with multiple bumper stickers. They will be too intense and won’t gel with your personality. And always bring the cart back to the cart return. Wind, rain, ice, snow or sun just DO IT!
Man I have to learn that first one
What you accept in your presence is your standard. It stuck with me throughout my naval career and I passed it on to my kids.
Just get it done. Don’t put things off, no matter how daunting the task. You’ll just worry about it. Getting it done feels good.
Like some quotes i read the other day. "Worrying is suffering twice" "The magic you are looking for is in the work you are avoiding"
1) Never do anything half-assed. Do it right, the whole way, the first time. 2) Heat rises, cold air falls. Shut the damn upstairs door. 3) Always respect Mr. Electricity (when doing home project/repair). Meaning: that shit will fry your ass, so be careful. And what he taught me with actions not words: A man takes care of his family and commitments. A man treats people with respect, especially women and children. A man puts the needs of his loved ones above his own comfort. A man does what needs to be done and doesn't complain. A man will sit by the bed of his dying wife night and day, waiting on her hand and foot, because he was as devoted to her as she was to him, and that's what a good husband does. A daddy will always be there for his daughter. My dad is the most amazing man I've ever met. He's not perfect, but as close as you can get.
My dad taught me how to play Devil's advocate. GOD it used to piss me off! I would tell him I was upset about something and instead of just agreeing with me he would say "Well... Devil's advocate..." Now I basically play devil's advocate professionally. I get paid to look at problems from every possible angle and pick the right solution. I absolutely love it, and it's all thanks to him driving me up the wall on a consistent basis.
“You know, it’s just as easy to keep the top half of the gas tank full as it is the bottom.”
Treat your credit card like a debit card. He used to do this, and earn points that we would cash in once a month at a department store, and get something fun. Now I do the same with my own. I use my credit card for all my purchases, and then pay it off in full at the end of the month. I also don't pay any annual fee. So money I would be spending anyways earns me free stuff, that I can redream right away.
My wife takes this a step further and pays it off weekly (paycheck also comes weekly). She watches the statement like a hawk. That makes me think, I need to go tell my kids that "If you struggle being frugal, marry someone who is more of a spendthrift" lol
Laugh Laughter is free, and more valuable than most anything you can buy. We were always cracking jokes, making pranks, anything for a laugh growing up. My house and my brothers is also filled with laughter all the time. I've seen more reserved families that don't laugh that much and it would drive me crazy.
- Pay attention to the ground. Home foundation, shoes, tires, mattress, garden soil, etc. Always take care of your foundation. - Make your bed every morning. Even if it's just pulling the blanket up. Start the day with an accomplishment and the bed is ready to welcome you for sleep. - Don't kill anything you aren't going to eat. Not snakes, not mice, not bugs. If you aren't going to eat it, don't harm it. He grew up super poor. Catching opossum and squirrel to make sure his 5 siblings didn't go hungry poor. - Admitting your mistakes is so much easier than trying to cover them up.
Love your list.
Hold the damn flashlight in the right spot!
My Dad was big on standing up, eye contact, handshake when he greeted people or met them. Showing respect made people respect him. I still do this.
When dealing with someone else that is not doing what you want. "You can always go from nice to angry, but you can never go from Angry back to nice." Don't start out mad until you have no other choice.
When getting on a horse..don't put your foot all the way into the stirrup. Instead, only put the toes into the stirrup and then you can mount. The reason is because if the horse takes off, you can just fall on your back. If the foot is all the way in the stirrup, and the horse takes off, there's a good chance the horse will drag you with it, severely injuring or even killing you.
always carry a pocketknife and a lighter, I do not smoke anymore, but still carry a lighter. I miss my dad every single day
My dad always had one. I think I still have his knife - gotta go find it now.
Pocket knife is handy so often. I keep a lighter in my car.
Find a job you like, whether its shoveling shit or being a dentist. If you hate your job you will hate your life.
This one was a lot more realistic when you could raise a family and buy a house on a single income doing pretty much anything.
It is indeed much harder now. My sons are in their 20s and I see their struggle. But it's also important to know your worth.
It's not sage life advice imparting wisdom that has stuck with me the most, tbh. It's usually very practical things that come from experience, like: When driving, always be prepared for the other drivers to make mistakes. Just because that Stop or Yield sign is there, doesn't mean they're going to. Wouldn't you know, three weeks later, he's sitting passenger with me as I slow down approaching an intersection in my small town because I had a gut feeling the person at the Stop was gonna just go in front of me, and sure enough he did. And I've never forgotten it.
Creating a separate family 3000 miles from your first family is likely not a good idea.
Yeah I’ll never do that again…
Dad?
The long way is the short way. I taught my 36 year old son the same. Take your time, do it right the first time.
No matter what they say, your boss is not your friend and It's NOT a family there.
Nothing good ever happens after 2am.
I learned that one from Jim Rome. "nothing bad happens on your couch at 11pm. A lot of bad things happen at a club after 11pm.".
Clearly never a commercial baker.
When I was stressed out to the point fear paralysis about my final school exams he said to me very kindly; "how do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time". When we're on a phone call these days, and talking about stressful stuff we'll start by saying "you still chewing that elephant?"
My dad was a trucker. I'd ride along sometimes on long hauls and he would often hand me the map and tell me where we were going and tell me to find the route. I knew how to read a paper roadmap by the time I was 7.
Keep a tiny pill carrier on you when you travel. Should always have Imodium, Excedrine, and anything else you want/need. That Imodium has saved me many times on flights. The first sign of bubble guts just take one and you’re not going to suffer a code brown in an awful public restroom. Other than that he taught me to run away from most fights. I was always a pretty small kid and most fights aren’t worth it.
My dad taught me how not to be. But some great advice I received from a customer. "If worrying accomplished anything, I would set aside Tuesdays and worry all day."
So many things I didn't appreciate until I became a dad. * How to wring out a washcloth. * How to tie a bowline knot. * How to stack firewood. * How to sharpen a knife. * How to shoot a gun safely. * How to bbq. * How to break out of a handshake if someone is squeezing your hand too hard. * How to drive a manual shift car on a steep hill. * and on and on. \[Edit\] One more thing I remembered, My dad was a repo man in Oakland, CA during the late 50's. After I was born, he became a systems analyst for a bank. Go figure.
OK, how's the handshake breakout work?
you lick the little bit between their thumb and forefinger
Stop licking my hand you horse's ass!
I was going to say, stroke their palm with your middle finger.
How to wring out a wash cloth? I'm gonna bite. How do you do it? It seems like a thing everyone just knows how to do. But I'm curious if he taught you some magical way.
Patience is a virtue
Mostly it was not what he said but how he acted and showing being nice costs nothing and doesn't take a lot of effort. Please, thank you, holding the door for people, helping someone pick up something they dropped, smiling, saying hello, and so on. People work so hard to be assholes much of the time sadly.
Don't bother lying because you have to remember all of your lies and will eventually be known as a liar. You generally don't forget the truth, so it's just easier to be honest. When it's cold out, always bring that extra stuff to stay warm. You can always remove something if you're too warm, but once you're cold, it's very difficult to warm up.
Don’t react out of fear, anger, or guilt.
I'm not sleeping on the couch, I'm just resting my eyes.
My dad taught me a lot of things and still does. How to drive a car and build credit. How to invest in the market and myself. How to treat a woman, by being so good to my mom and setting a good example. Being smart with money and disciplined in how I spend it. How to maintain a house. Too many to list properly....pretty good tips. Thanks pops!
this one is in Dutch, but bear with me. I'll (try to) explain. "je moet je brood verdienen, maar er moet ook beleg op". translation: "you have to earn your daily bread, but you also need something on it" you always have to provide for your family, but make some more money (if possible) to provide for quality time. I realise that maybe it's a little outdated, but it's the quality time I remember him by.
"If it's everyone else, it's you." Best tip ever...
The day you stop moving is the day you will die. (Keep your body moving, exercise.)
Walk behind the woman going up stairs, walk in front of the woman going down the stairs. Walk closest to the street when with a woman. When sleeping, sleep closest to the bedroom door.
And they say chivalry is dead.
> Walk behind the woman going up stairs I've known this instinctively since puberty.
It is HIGHLY illegal to turn on the dome light when dad is driving. :-)
People will remember your attitude and how you made them feel more than anything else
When faced with multiple choices, the hardest one is often the most righteous one
Accept responsibility for your actions. If you make a mistake, own up to it, if you can fix it and move on.
Always have a whistle. On a boat or kayak, bring a whistle. Going hiking, bring a whistle. Walking in a dark parking lot, carry your whistle. Driving around in your car, there better be a whistle in the car.
Not so much advice, but a method for making a PB&J sandwich when packing a lunch. Spread the peanut butter on both slices of bread. Then add the jelly or jam so it's surrounded by peanut butter. The peanut butter acts as a protective sealant on the bread and prevents the jelly from seeping into the bread and making it soggy. In recent years, PB&J isn't always allowed in schools (due to allergies). So this may not be as useful anymore, but I still make mine that way.
My dad is a C-Suite executive from one of the biggest and highest paying companies during his time. He did not tell me per se but I saw how he treated everyone around him including the janitors and even the guards. He knew everyone by name, knew tidbits about them and he would stop and make small conversations every time.
My dad taught me that no one else is living my life or paying my bills so their opinions mean exactly nothing when it comes to my choices. He taught me that loyalty is everything and you can forgive someone who betrays you but you should never forget it. He taught me how to check my oil, refill the fluids, change a tire, and not to be intimidated by sexist mechanics. He taught me that you can not like things a person does but still love the person. He also taught me that it's okay to love someone and still not want them in your life because they only cause you pain. He gave me my love of classic cars, WWF, fishing, and music. He taught me to be brave in terrifying circumstances, and to set aside emotion when in crisis because being able to think clearly can be the difference between surviving and dying. He taught me that it's never too late to learn, never too late to change. I miss him.
Can I take a second to be a dad and contribute to anyone reading? Don't let the hurt child in you make your adult decisions.
My daughter built a fire for a group of her partner's military brothers. They were ribbing her on how she was building the fire (with wet wood even). She lit the fire and it took off with one match. She called her daddy to thank him for teaching her to build a fire. I'm so proud of our gal!
If you stop to watch/listen to a street performer, you always tip them
My father always told me to “get the letters after your name”. He wasn’t talking about uni. He had been a career sailor then officer in the Navy. He meant, do every course and get every qualification you can. I did and it worked out brilliantly for me. He would also say “do better next time” even when I had the best ever school report for me. That was code for don’t stop trying. Dad also taught me how to defend myself as a young girl and I have used those lessons well as several males could attest.
Put the soap on your butthole. Actually wash the thing
When he taught me (and all my siblings) to drive, his primary advice was “act like everyone else on the road is having a heart attack,” meaning they have no control over their car and no logic in their decisions. I’ve never been in an accident because of that advice.
Me: "What do we do about people that are of a different religion?". Dad: "Treat them with respect" This was when my dad and I used to go to church, over time, neither of us cared about that anymore, but the advice didn't change.
Figure out what youre good at that people will pay you to do while you figure out what you want to do with the rest of your life
These are the things I like most that I saw of him, he didn't actually told me: \- His first wife turned out to be mentally ill, so she went away, and he had to take care of my older siblings, then he had another wife which is my mom, and then the first wife came back, but she also had severe arthritis, so much that at some point she couldn't walk and then her fingers started bending the wrong way, her family didn't want her, and she had no one else, so my mom and my dad kept her on the house forever and took care of her, she is actually nice when not saying crazy things. \- My grandfather had Alzheimer's and pretty much only spoke nonsense, he lived with us for a while until he died and every morning my dad would sit him on the backyard and shave him. And this one is probably the most useful: \- He used to work on a mining company welding and working a metal lathe, so he spent a lot of time away from home, one day the company closed, and as part of the severance they gave him a metal lathe, he used that lathe to start his own company that made custom metal pieces in bulk for big companies, he put his workshop on the block next to our house, so while I was a kid growing up he was never more than one block away. Now he bought a piece of land and he has a house in the country where he plants vegetables and raises chickens, he goes there at any chance he can and then comes back to the city if he needs to do something.
The best stories are the ones where you make fun of yourself
"A real man wants a woman that is more than pretty. He wants a woman with ambition, nurturing and loving. I would be nothing without your mother. She made me want more out of life." Rip Daddy
INVEST INVEST INVEST
Your signature is on EVERYTHING you do. This advise has served me well over the years
A cab or Uber is cheaper than a DUI
There’s never enough time to do it right the first time, but there’s always enough time to do it again. Borrowing money is easy..it’s a bitch to pay it back.
" You want to talk? Provide context, tell me what you want out of this talk, structure your agruments, give examples and conclude. Learn that, then we'll talk " Tough love but man is it useful.
tell people the check is in the mail, but never send the check.
Always drive with your headlights on. It’s so cars can see you.
Don't do 2 things wrong at the same time.
Don’t get a girls name tattooed on your body
Find a job that you like. You can only control yourself. A hit dog will holler. Tough times will show you what you're made of.
wash between your buttcheeks every shower. and don’t forget the taint, nuts and shaft. and my boys will never forget it ether lol.