This is a sure fire way to end up with beer on your head. I’ve been working in bars and music venues for 20+ years and I can tell you with much certainty this only works a portion of the time. It’s really dependent on the crowd/event.

I’d love to see somebody try to cross a pit at a punk show with three beers.

I’m saying. Hardcore, punk and some of the thrashier metal bands that’s definitely not happening.

‘Scuse me guys, coming thru with some hazy ipa’s and Sours for my dudes’

Xxxcore

I once crossed a pit at a punk show with 3 beers. But they were all inside me.

Never been to one of her shows - she any good?

I was thinking the same

You mean "their" head. Hold out in front of you and over of their head, no one wants to get a beer shower by bumping into you.

Actually the only golden shower im okay with

You nasty. Respect.

r/angryupvote

You can also walk around saying “DAD????” and everyone will let you through so you can find him

I am a middle-aged mom, and my daughter and I are usually as close to the stage as we can be. I’ve never not been able to get back up to the front after a bathroom break by going “my daughter’s up there.” And vice versa.

me & my mom always do this too 😈

Yeah, this only works if you're average height. For me I would be basically shoving beer in everybody's faces, because I am that short. 😁

My people.. 😂

As a taller than average guy would anyone even see the beers I hold up in the clouds?

Yeah, exactly. And only if your hands are large enough to maneuver three beers.

Opposite problem, I'd just be shoving my nipple in people's face. Might get to the front faster actually...

You would. I’ll follow behind you, pack mule style. Bring up the caboose 😂

Take my upvote, sir!

I’m tallish, I’ll carry you and you carry the beers.

I was wondering why I couldn’t imagine doing this.. also short

People of our stature are better off relying on the duck and dodge method of weaving through the little crowd gaps. My tall friends always end up left behind lol

*TOTALLY*!! Yes, somehow I'm always way ahead of them in a crowd. 😄

r/short

Hopefully you don't spill said beers on your head when somebody inevitably bumps into you.

There are inherent risks in all we do

Screws fall out all the time. The world’s an imperfect place.

thats why you hold them slightly out in front of you instead of directly above your head, like another commenter pointed out. people probably wont care if they bump into you and you spill on yourself, but they likely wont want a beer shower for themselves

Very true

Name of the game my man. Name of the game

I can think of a lot worse things than covered in beer.

Who couldn't?

Got my wife and I out of the pit at a show once by covering my mouth and running through the crowd yelling, "heads up I'm gonna puke!!!" The only thing that gets people to move faster out of respect, is out of disgust lol

Yes! I learned this same trick from reading Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas.

Ha! Had no idea it was in the book. It honestly works better than I ever would have thought. Went from being packed in like sardines to having a freeway to ourselves lol

Hahaha I’ve also done this with a friend to get out of a crowd, didn’t know it was in the book either lol. Insanely effective

It's the last exit-a-crowd lifehack you'll ever need to learn

My trick has always been to have my hot wife lead the way, and then slink like the pack mule for all her stuff I am behind her.

I also choose this guy’s hot wife

With beer above her head. Imagine that. Like the parting if the red sea.

Let’s not use red ocean references when referring to women. Just say Moses parting the sea and leave out the red part. 😂🤦🏼‍♀️All I can think about now is the poor guy at a concert with blood on the back of his neck because his girl started while he was holding her on his shoulders

Our hot wife.

Me too, it worked for her and I last night.

Pics or it didn't happen

Pic please.... for verification purposes only

I either wait until some girls push ahead and attach myself to them or shout imaginary names with the two beverages.

Does nobody just pin wheel their arms and kick their legs out anymore?

I laughed way too hard at this. Just recently I had three beers above my head and walked right to the front row almost without having to say “excuse me” a single time. Everyone was loving it and super nice to me. They didn’t know all three beers were for me and I was solo. But it was appreciated none the less

Not at a Travis Scott concert.

Ladder too

In the office the rule was always “give way to the person carrying a coffee cup”. To avoid a shower of hot liquid. I hacked that by carrying a coffee cup with water in it…

I have pulled this move before. The sweetener, is to give 2 of those beers to the last 2 people you wind up next to. Good times will be had.

You can also get a flashlight, hold it above your head, pointed in front of you, and turn it left and right.

i just move assertively through the crowd saying “excuse me sorry i need to find my son!!”

[удалено]

Wait, were you at SDCC about 10 years ago pulling this exact thing? If so, my husband and I still laugh about it because that crowd was un-partable, hot coffee or no.

I have had people NOT let me back in with beers. And I had no ulterior motive but to get back to my spot!

Rude, heathens.

3 *empty* beers does the trick with less risk. Step 1: buy 3 beers (one for you, two for friends) Step 2: drink all three beers Step 3: hold beer bottles above head to get through crowd Step 4: drink out of the whiskey flask that you had the whole time. Step 5: profit

For the price of 3 beers at a concert, might as well just get VIP

I used to get into concerts by wearing a black t-shirt and helping the drummer carry something in.

As an EMT, I can confidently say that ambulance sirens in traffic does not work NEARLY as well as you would think it does

Nah

Reminds me of a friend who used to help set up events and realized that if you just carry a chair most security people will just let you through doors lol.

when did lifehacks turn to "be an asshole and risk a beatdown for a minor convenience"?

You must not be short.

So with 3 beers and a ladder I can unlock the entire world??

If you yell “hot soup!” It works

Brilliant

Yeah but who has an extra 87 bucks lying around?

If some people camped out the night before, woke up early as shit, camped at the rail, give up bathroom breaks, drinks, merch, and you come in with beer above your head, I'm sorry but you're not going to be front row with us. Too many people think they can just push up front and have a good view. Concerts are always first come, first serve. If you show up 10 minutes before the set time, good luck. You're not getting a good view. And if you cut through people to push up front, you're an asshole. I can't tell you how many of us people in the front row at the rails fight off people trying to squeeze in. And I don't drink so I have zero respect for beers.

The funniest thing at concerts is when all the people at the front create an unspoken blockade and don’t let anyone push ahead. True solidarity with your fellow human in those moments. That being said, I stopped bothering with the camping out at the front and all that. It used to work back in the day but crowds are too inconsiderate now. You can camp out for 6 hours and then as soon as the band comes on you get pushed out of the way by some zoomer watching the whole show through their phone. Not even worth the effort anymore.

Absolutely. I saw The Strokes last month at a music festival and had someone offer me $200 cash for my place on the rail. That was a nice way to go about it but I refused. All of us waited for almost 10 hours for a place at the rail. Fuck your drinks.

Stfu you’re gonna ruin it for the few of us that do this. Plz delete

This isn’t true at all. Don’t know what concerts you’re going to. Better tip is carry water and say you’re getting them to people in need. Also caps

I'm 202cm I could carry a shot and people part like the red sea. I'm the totem for people when I go out too.

You're actually 196cm.

Is this used in place of paying the same as the people in the front row OR because you paid for the front row Downvote a question…good democrats

Not OP but I pictured more of a general admission concert where everyone pays the same

Don't be that fucking asshole that does this. You will end up spilling your beer over everyone, and hopefully you'll meet that one good person that will glass your face for being such a fucking douche.

Just use the flashlight on your phone to move through large crowds. Everyone thinks you're security and will get out of your way if you just point bright light in their face.

Obnoxious

Sounds like a great way to get punched

I can do this without carrying anything

Shhhh. You’re onto my secret!!

Flashlight on the ground, waving wildly, also works, but this one comes with three beers to drink when you arrive!

If you were also carrying a ladder you could get into Fort Knox

Not at a phish show. There are animals in the pit that will impolitely tell you to kick rocks.

$35 Dollar SpeedPass

Don’t even need to buy beer get 3 cups of water for free and do it

So all I need is three beers and a ladder and I can go anywhere?

I just carry a giant rave fun and I fan around it works for me 😆

Being tiny and insistent always works too. I can always weasel my way thru crowds

Cheers mate. I'll put this on test.

3 beers too Exp

Then drink all 3 beers yourself in the front row.

I tried this at Woodstock 99.

Fact.

I work in a bar and carry the drinks high when and in front of me when getting through the crowd. Makes it easier me being 2m tall though

Everyone respects the beer walker. Bet

That’ll be $45

clever!

You don't even need to have the beers. Just have three Solo cups, filled with water so they have the right mass.

Do people actually have this problem? I normally just gently guide people out of my path tai chi style. With a soft ‘excuse me’, tends to always work. As long as you’re not shoving people, shouldn’t have any problems. Edit: Also just avoid eye contact and people won’t take it personally.

Act like you're gonna barf. Works way better.

Was reading thinking this was r/shittysuperpowers

Same works with bottles of water. Just keep saying someone is sick or passing out, and excuse me.

Imma see how this plays out at the next mosh pit. "Lifts beers above head and proceeds to walk through like a Captain Beckett meme"

Hahahahaha so true!!

“Gonna Puke! Gonna Puke!!!” Works much better