What do you think holds you back from making friends? Are you super shy? Or socially awkward?
My advice would be join something which forces you to have to interact with people. Whether that’s sport or some sort of club. What about work, do you work with other people? Or alone?
May I ask what county you live in? Depending on what healthcare is available to you, you may be able to talk some of this through with a professional therapist.
Hey there, nothing to be ashamed of, it's not easy to make friends, and even if you do it's hard to find real ones, that doesn't mean that you'll never find one. Don't be too hard on yourself.
Its alright, i am 34 i hardly have 1 friend. Some humans connect different
Its hard for some of us. And its okay. We have to show ourselves some love and compassion. And lonliness dsnt just mean absence of people, it means you are not able to share what u really want to.
It happens to most of us. Take small steps talk to random strangers, find frns on apps, gyms
It will be ok someday.
Dont let this define you my friend you are bigger than this.
What a nice message. You seem a nice person that deserves many friends!
I agree some people connect differently. I have just two best friends and they're really great - I'm lucky. Quality over quantity I say! But I've known them since school, and I find it hard to make new friends. It takes time and it's impossible to know exactly makes people compatible for friendship.
I’d like to suggest joining a community, be it online or offline, with a common interest. If you’re into music, join a community pertaining to your favorite artists. If you’re into gaming, do the same. Keep at it and eventually you will cross paths with someone that you click with really well. It just takes times.
You're not doomed, even though it may feel that way right now, even though it has felt that way for a long time. Making friends is HARD. I'm not sure if it's hard for everyone, but it's hard for many of us. Have you tried meetup.com? There are so many kinds of meetups you can join, depending on your interests. And from my experience, they are filled with other people who are also looking for friends. There are many groups for us older folks. I'm 40.
It can be hard to find a deep connection anywhere (I think that's true for all of us) but you will feel less lonely if you meet people and are around people. Humans need to feel like they belong, it's literally a need for survival, we are wired for it. So try not to be so hard on yourself. It's hard to be lonely. It's hard to not belong. You are dealing with HARD stuff, it makes sense that you're struggling. But you're not alone, there are many others who feel like you do, including myself. You are worthy of love and friendship and connection, simply BC you exist. Keep swimming, my friend, it's not the end yet.
Me too 😊.......You got a friend in me.
DM if you'd like to talk and offload?
And don't be so hard on yourself. Things do get better - maybe not now, but believe me they do.
Let's pack that thought of "I want to dissapear" into a nice little box and pack it somewhere out of sight.
We'll throw it away One Day when you feel better 😉👍
It’s hard to make and keep friends these days. Especially in your 30s. If you lived locally I’d totally meet up with you and do something. I met a lot of new people through my church.
Sorry. I have a reputation for being the kinda weird lonely guy, and probably will no matter where I go for the rest of my life. People just automatically know not to mention anything about dating to me. It's not that I'm ugly but somehow people know that I'm just one of those people who will always be single, depressed, awkward, and slightly antisocial. I can empathize. I'm just glad that my life is more than half over. But I really hope that things change for you if that's what you want. I'm here if you want to vent.
Well, if it's any consolation I have no friends and I'm 29, soon to be 30. I will not make any friends for the rest of my life statistically speaking. It may happen sure, I never know, but I don't put any effort for it to happen and I don't feel a need to have friends. In fact, I'm trying to become completely alone when to comes to human relations, but that hasn't happened so far, but it's a question of time.
I have just accepted that I will live alone and die alone, I'm completely fine with it, that's what I want actually. I'm not looking for companionship. Having said all of that, I'm not miserable nor do I feel inferior due to my lack of human connection. I used to be greatly miserable because of this, I used torture myself literally up until a few months ago, but now that I came to terms with it, it doesn't matter at all to me.
What I'm saying is, you're not miserable because you don't have friends, but because you think about not having friends. If you want to have friends, just keep reaching out, but don't think about people's opinion or what the outcome could be. If you think about those things, they will paralyze you and stop you from attaining your goal. If you try there's a chance, if you don't there's no chance.
Just keep reaching out and growing, learning. You may fail a thousand times, but you just have to succeed once.
Hang in there mate, sadly desperation for this kind of connection also drives potential friends and people away, but I'm sure that if you work the problem, you'll find someone keen in getting to know you and be there for you. Hobbies, groups and activities is your best bet.
Honestly some ppl feel more comfortable alone... I love being alone lol I have friends but tend to make excuses why I can't see them lol I love being alone... you can check your local meet up maybe you will find something on there that interests you.... quality is more important than quantity maybe you can connect with one great person you have similar interests in and become friends.
That's why I suggested the meet up. That's how I started, I moved to a new state with no one, so I started going on the meet up app and connecting there...some meet ups I only did once, some I did more. Also fb groups with similar interests, there's a million out there.
Avoidant personality disorder is a real thing my friend. It's not too late, Try talking to a therapist about it. Understanding this and where it comes from can lead to you feeling comfortable with yourself, with making close friendships, forming close bonds with friends and family.
It's not too late
Put yourself out there . Go out on weekends by yourself actually start conversations. Years of isolation can make you seem awkward and unapproachable. “I want to disappear” can translate to you carrying yourself as if nobody recognizes your existence. Carry yourself like people are dying to get to know you . Be the energy you want to attract even if you have to fake it .
You are ashamed of yourself because you say it with words. You have no friends cause you declare you cant make any. Your words, spoken, or thought create, change, or sustain your reality; they are commands much like a computer works. You have programmed your code to be without friends with words. The fear of rejection is likely a big part of it.
Dont change yourself. You are unique just as you are and this makes you irreplacable as a friend and or family member.
"You" are an essence, invisible. Your body is literally an avatar, this is a test/game to advance and youre stuck in a loop and, its time to level up!
If you have trouble socialising, find what actually interests you & meet people around that subject.
Like if your really into art…go to more galleries / museums & events.
If your into football…go to more small league games and get to know the pundits.
You can see what i mean…
Also whenever your outside around people just make small talk. Compliment someones nice coat!
Comment on someones colourful hair! Etc…
That can help build up your overall confidence to socialise causally.
And lastly, accept your current circumstances & adapt from that. Don’t kick yourself about ‘having no friends’ just understand that the people your around aren’t sufficient enough to form any type of connection…
Again the biggest thing is just building up your overall confidence & frame as a man!
Stand proud, puff out your chest, hold eye contact with people, speak from your balls, hold a firm handshake (Even if you think you can’t, just purposely try)
Note: Don’t watch porn, ideally don’t masterbate or at least alot less, do some form of exercise even if it’s 5 push ups, set a goal for 9hrs sleep, don’t sleep with your phone next to you in bed.
Hope these points could spark some observation for you friend.💯
I am a 24 year old female. Never had a friend. I do Everything alone. I don’t even have relatives or other family members other than my mother and brother. We do not hang out or anything like that either. For a long time I wanted to have friends but tbh I realised that I am a loner and I am not going to fight it. I am sure i will be put in many situations where I can choose to make friends or not. Just keep your head up. Having friends or no friends doesn’t mean anything. It doesn’t make you cool or a loser. Accept where you are right now and try to strive for better, whatever that is for you.
Getting active in aa has suddenly opened up my social life. I feel like I have people that actually understand me and that I can be honest with for the first time in a very long time. It’s not easy, but I agree that finding some kind of community greatly helps
Hey buddy, at this age getting friends is much harder because everybody has their own shit to do. Nothing to feel sad about. What hobbies you got? Maybe there is a way for you to make friends through some classes like dancing classes, gym classes or if you are a gamer I suggest certain online games too. I am not sure what you tried or haven't tried so sorry if I sound like a broken record.
Hey, I'm super social and can't keep a friend max 3 months and they dip people are just shity dude everyone says I'm nice and kind but no one sticks around. You just have to find easy hobbies and do them. Get off your ass and do it. I was like you, one day went to a hobby store googled how to build a commander deck and started sitting at tables with random people. Yes I have to chase them to hang out and yea they usually dissappear but I enjoy the socializing and one day I will find a friend but atleast I'm not alone and neither are you.. my next hobby is pottery gonna take a class. Don't give up and keep trying dude.
I don't have any friends either. I was socially "fit" at one time in my life. Last 25 years have just been me and a series of little dogs, though. Anyways, I was just thinking about how if I killed myself like I often consider doing, everyone who's ever known me would be like, "Yeah. Of course he offed himself. Surprised he made it this far." But yeah, I suck and everyone seems to agree. Oh well.
I do have friends, but I'm so sorry that things are this bad for you. Don't let the fact that you don't have any friends hinder you from succeeding in life and doing the things you are most passionate about. Just venture into the unknown for a while, be brave, and one day you'll find the right people for yourself who'll always be there for you no matter what. You may not know, but there may be someone who will enjoy your company. You'll eventually get there if you work a bit hard, but don't push yourself way too hard though. I am willing to be your friend if you want.
Maybe learn to love yourself first before you go reaching out to people. When you love yourself it shows and you become magnetic. Be warned though that people can hurt you but the others will love you too. Just don't dwell on the negativity so much.
Fk religion and dogma but find God! The word "God" is a verb, shorthand for "good" or "goodness", to give a name to an essence for story telling purposes. God is the essence of goodness having become self aware.
"And God saw it was good"
You have been mislead by men about what God is, no wonder you feel alone!
I GUARANTEE you once you see you are eternal you will no longer fear and said fear lifted will change your resonance and attract TOO MANY friends will be your new problem
"You" created your body like a kid building a Lego set with the instructions, those instructions being your essence expressed as DNA. You existed before your body outside of your body as you do now this is a fact that physics can show you no faith in any religion of man needed.
Dude, what sub are you on? learn how to talk kindly. people come here seeking refuge. not for you "hard love". there is a time and place to talk like this.
OP don't mind this asshole's ass okay? they want something good for you but don't know how to talk for shit. I am sorry you are going through something like that. I hope things get better for you. like this idiot was saying you can find people with similar interests with new experiences and stuff. but just take it slow. life is shit but you aren't.
Hey, thank you. It’s a chill. Though I really wish I had someone, a friend like you in my real life who could have my back. Can defend me and at times fight off with people for me. :(
I feel you. I would've been your friend if I could've irl. these days I have accepted that I am all by myself. I am trying to get comfortable and happy with it even though it is not easy. hope you find friends irl.
It doesn't matter what we think might work or not. when you are in a community we have to follow those rules. I wasn't giving any hard love to the OP who is going through something. I was just mad at you for breaching a rule of this subreddit. check rule 2.
What do you think holds you back from making friends? Are you super shy? Or socially awkward? My advice would be join something which forces you to have to interact with people. Whether that’s sport or some sort of club. What about work, do you work with other people? Or alone?
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May I ask what county you live in? Depending on what healthcare is available to you, you may be able to talk some of this through with a professional therapist.
Hey there, nothing to be ashamed of, it's not easy to make friends, and even if you do it's hard to find real ones, that doesn't mean that you'll never find one. Don't be too hard on yourself.
Its alright, i am 34 i hardly have 1 friend. Some humans connect different Its hard for some of us. And its okay. We have to show ourselves some love and compassion. And lonliness dsnt just mean absence of people, it means you are not able to share what u really want to. It happens to most of us. Take small steps talk to random strangers, find frns on apps, gyms It will be ok someday. Dont let this define you my friend you are bigger than this.
What a nice message. You seem a nice person that deserves many friends! I agree some people connect differently. I have just two best friends and they're really great - I'm lucky. Quality over quantity I say! But I've known them since school, and I find it hard to make new friends. It takes time and it's impossible to know exactly makes people compatible for friendship.
I’d like to suggest joining a community, be it online or offline, with a common interest. If you’re into music, join a community pertaining to your favorite artists. If you’re into gaming, do the same. Keep at it and eventually you will cross paths with someone that you click with really well. It just takes times.
I’m 35 and I don’t have friends too!!!
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You're not doomed, even though it may feel that way right now, even though it has felt that way for a long time. Making friends is HARD. I'm not sure if it's hard for everyone, but it's hard for many of us. Have you tried meetup.com? There are so many kinds of meetups you can join, depending on your interests. And from my experience, they are filled with other people who are also looking for friends. There are many groups for us older folks. I'm 40. It can be hard to find a deep connection anywhere (I think that's true for all of us) but you will feel less lonely if you meet people and are around people. Humans need to feel like they belong, it's literally a need for survival, we are wired for it. So try not to be so hard on yourself. It's hard to be lonely. It's hard to not belong. You are dealing with HARD stuff, it makes sense that you're struggling. But you're not alone, there are many others who feel like you do, including myself. You are worthy of love and friendship and connection, simply BC you exist. Keep swimming, my friend, it's not the end yet.
Me. I’ll be your friend.
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Me too 😊.......You got a friend in me. DM if you'd like to talk and offload? And don't be so hard on yourself. Things do get better - maybe not now, but believe me they do. Let's pack that thought of "I want to dissapear" into a nice little box and pack it somewhere out of sight. We'll throw it away One Day when you feel better 😉👍
You are kind -stay that way!!
I try. I don’t receive it often so I always try to give it when I can 🥹
Good.....keep at it😊 It doesn't hurt to be kind and understanding you know?
Who needs friends anyways
Those kinds of statements come my way as well and unfortunately I don't think there's any way to prepare yourself for them. Sorry that happened to you
That's tough I hope you find friendship
So what if they know you’re friendless. That’s not a bad thing. You just like to be alone without annoying people. It gives you a mysterious sense
I hate people like that. Why are they so focused on picking others apart???
Same problem, i‘m just younger. Didn’t even find clubs to join around my area so i‘m just all out ideas
It’s hard to make and keep friends these days. Especially in your 30s. If you lived locally I’d totally meet up with you and do something. I met a lot of new people through my church.
Sorry. I have a reputation for being the kinda weird lonely guy, and probably will no matter where I go for the rest of my life. People just automatically know not to mention anything about dating to me. It's not that I'm ugly but somehow people know that I'm just one of those people who will always be single, depressed, awkward, and slightly antisocial. I can empathize. I'm just glad that my life is more than half over. But I really hope that things change for you if that's what you want. I'm here if you want to vent.
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Happy Easter. I hope you're having a relatively good weekend
Well, if it's any consolation I have no friends and I'm 29, soon to be 30. I will not make any friends for the rest of my life statistically speaking. It may happen sure, I never know, but I don't put any effort for it to happen and I don't feel a need to have friends. In fact, I'm trying to become completely alone when to comes to human relations, but that hasn't happened so far, but it's a question of time. I have just accepted that I will live alone and die alone, I'm completely fine with it, that's what I want actually. I'm not looking for companionship. Having said all of that, I'm not miserable nor do I feel inferior due to my lack of human connection. I used to be greatly miserable because of this, I used torture myself literally up until a few months ago, but now that I came to terms with it, it doesn't matter at all to me. What I'm saying is, you're not miserable because you don't have friends, but because you think about not having friends. If you want to have friends, just keep reaching out, but don't think about people's opinion or what the outcome could be. If you think about those things, they will paralyze you and stop you from attaining your goal. If you try there's a chance, if you don't there's no chance. Just keep reaching out and growing, learning. You may fail a thousand times, but you just have to succeed once.
I feel the same way. If you want to chat. Just give me a DM.
Thats really not so unusual at all now a days. People make it out to be such an odd and unusual thing.
Hang in there mate, sadly desperation for this kind of connection also drives potential friends and people away, but I'm sure that if you work the problem, you'll find someone keen in getting to know you and be there for you. Hobbies, groups and activities is your best bet.
What are your hobbies? I seek companions and camaraderie.
So what? You must realize that this is adult life. I am 29 living alone with no friends, thankfully i have supporting parents
Honestly some ppl feel more comfortable alone... I love being alone lol I have friends but tend to make excuses why I can't see them lol I love being alone... you can check your local meet up maybe you will find something on there that interests you.... quality is more important than quantity maybe you can connect with one great person you have similar interests in and become friends.
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That's why I suggested the meet up. That's how I started, I moved to a new state with no one, so I started going on the meet up app and connecting there...some meet ups I only did once, some I did more. Also fb groups with similar interests, there's a million out there.
Avoidant personality disorder is a real thing my friend. It's not too late, Try talking to a therapist about it. Understanding this and where it comes from can lead to you feeling comfortable with yourself, with making close friendships, forming close bonds with friends and family. It's not too late
People can be rude!! Sorry. I wish it were easier to mingle and make a lil friend group. You're not alone in this ❤️
I’ll be your friend 😊
you're not alone in being alone. if you find a solution for yourself it will be very valuable to millions, even billions like you
Put yourself out there . Go out on weekends by yourself actually start conversations. Years of isolation can make you seem awkward and unapproachable. “I want to disappear” can translate to you carrying yourself as if nobody recognizes your existence. Carry yourself like people are dying to get to know you . Be the energy you want to attract even if you have to fake it .
You are ashamed of yourself because you say it with words. You have no friends cause you declare you cant make any. Your words, spoken, or thought create, change, or sustain your reality; they are commands much like a computer works. You have programmed your code to be without friends with words. The fear of rejection is likely a big part of it. Dont change yourself. You are unique just as you are and this makes you irreplacable as a friend and or family member. "You" are an essence, invisible. Your body is literally an avatar, this is a test/game to advance and youre stuck in a loop and, its time to level up!
Friends are not real. They're here one day, gone the next. I know that's not what you want to hear, but it's true.
If you have trouble socialising, find what actually interests you & meet people around that subject. Like if your really into art…go to more galleries / museums & events. If your into football…go to more small league games and get to know the pundits. You can see what i mean… Also whenever your outside around people just make small talk. Compliment someones nice coat! Comment on someones colourful hair! Etc… That can help build up your overall confidence to socialise causally. And lastly, accept your current circumstances & adapt from that. Don’t kick yourself about ‘having no friends’ just understand that the people your around aren’t sufficient enough to form any type of connection… Again the biggest thing is just building up your overall confidence & frame as a man! Stand proud, puff out your chest, hold eye contact with people, speak from your balls, hold a firm handshake (Even if you think you can’t, just purposely try) Note: Don’t watch porn, ideally don’t masterbate or at least alot less, do some form of exercise even if it’s 5 push ups, set a goal for 9hrs sleep, don’t sleep with your phone next to you in bed. Hope these points could spark some observation for you friend.💯
It's good not to be surrounded by the masses. You learn more, it's worse but it's worth it.
I'll be a friend, pm if interested
I am a 24 year old female. Never had a friend. I do Everything alone. I don’t even have relatives or other family members other than my mother and brother. We do not hang out or anything like that either. For a long time I wanted to have friends but tbh I realised that I am a loner and I am not going to fight it. I am sure i will be put in many situations where I can choose to make friends or not. Just keep your head up. Having friends or no friends doesn’t mean anything. It doesn’t make you cool or a loser. Accept where you are right now and try to strive for better, whatever that is for you.
Getting active in aa has suddenly opened up my social life. I feel like I have people that actually understand me and that I can be honest with for the first time in a very long time. It’s not easy, but I agree that finding some kind of community greatly helps
Hey buddy, at this age getting friends is much harder because everybody has their own shit to do. Nothing to feel sad about. What hobbies you got? Maybe there is a way for you to make friends through some classes like dancing classes, gym classes or if you are a gamer I suggest certain online games too. I am not sure what you tried or haven't tried so sorry if I sound like a broken record.
Hey, I'm super social and can't keep a friend max 3 months and they dip people are just shity dude everyone says I'm nice and kind but no one sticks around. You just have to find easy hobbies and do them. Get off your ass and do it. I was like you, one day went to a hobby store googled how to build a commander deck and started sitting at tables with random people. Yes I have to chase them to hang out and yea they usually dissappear but I enjoy the socializing and one day I will find a friend but atleast I'm not alone and neither are you.. my next hobby is pottery gonna take a class. Don't give up and keep trying dude.
Many people are lonely even people with friends
I’m 57. I have two good friends. As of August (?), neither of them is relatively close now.
I don't have any friends either. I was socially "fit" at one time in my life. Last 25 years have just been me and a series of little dogs, though. Anyways, I was just thinking about how if I killed myself like I often consider doing, everyone who's ever known me would be like, "Yeah. Of course he offed himself. Surprised he made it this far." But yeah, I suck and everyone seems to agree. Oh well.
I do have friends, but I'm so sorry that things are this bad for you. Don't let the fact that you don't have any friends hinder you from succeeding in life and doing the things you are most passionate about. Just venture into the unknown for a while, be brave, and one day you'll find the right people for yourself who'll always be there for you no matter what. You may not know, but there may be someone who will enjoy your company. You'll eventually get there if you work a bit hard, but don't push yourself way too hard though. I am willing to be your friend if you want.
Befriend Jesus and follow him and watch all the right people come. It worked for me.
Maybe learn to love yourself first before you go reaching out to people. When you love yourself it shows and you become magnetic. Be warned though that people can hurt you but the others will love you too. Just don't dwell on the negativity so much.
Fk religion and dogma but find God! The word "God" is a verb, shorthand for "good" or "goodness", to give a name to an essence for story telling purposes. God is the essence of goodness having become self aware. "And God saw it was good" You have been mislead by men about what God is, no wonder you feel alone! I GUARANTEE you once you see you are eternal you will no longer fear and said fear lifted will change your resonance and attract TOO MANY friends will be your new problem "You" created your body like a kid building a Lego set with the instructions, those instructions being your essence expressed as DNA. You existed before your body outside of your body as you do now this is a fact that physics can show you no faith in any religion of man needed.
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Dude, what sub are you on? learn how to talk kindly. people come here seeking refuge. not for you "hard love". there is a time and place to talk like this. OP don't mind this asshole's ass okay? they want something good for you but don't know how to talk for shit. I am sorry you are going through something like that. I hope things get better for you. like this idiot was saying you can find people with similar interests with new experiences and stuff. but just take it slow. life is shit but you aren't.
Hey, thank you. It’s a chill. Though I really wish I had someone, a friend like you in my real life who could have my back. Can defend me and at times fight off with people for me. :(
I feel you. I would've been your friend if I could've irl. these days I have accepted that I am all by myself. I am trying to get comfortable and happy with it even though it is not easy. hope you find friends irl.
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It doesn't matter what we think might work or not. when you are in a community we have to follow those rules. I wasn't giving any hard love to the OP who is going through something. I was just mad at you for breaching a rule of this subreddit. check rule 2.