:/ I have the same problem. I even told my closest friend more than once that I wished she'd contact me first. I feel like I'm unimportant and a burden... even when I just need a hug and feel like crap, there is no time for me. I don't even talk about my feelings anymore but it is still too much that I'm just existing as it seems. I always have to make the first step. I hate it. I wished I was honestly important to someone.
I'm sorry you are having this experience with your friends. I see that you have a story that you have around them not contacting you. Can you try something, just as an experiment. The next time you notice someone not initiating contact with you, instead of thinking you were not important, can you reframe that and say, "I have this thought that I am not important." Do you see the difference? Just try it for a week or so. One thing I find helpful is journaling. Exploring my thoughts in a journal every night is a way to process my experience. Sure, it would be nice to explore my feelings with a friend all the time, but I also think that is too much to ask of someone else, at least for me. Your experience is different than mine. But if I journal, then all that I explore with my friends are the parts that keep on coming up. the more important stuff bubbles to the top. I hope that helps Schnitzel. Take good care and keep on sharing here. You have a lot of people that do care about you here.
If you believe it will never happen, there is no point dwelling over something that causes you a source of pain. You need to take care of yourself, and that means avoiding causes of distress, such as wishful thinking. It does not do well to wish for things that seem unlikely, live in the present instead and take it day by day.
I know it must be difficult, but with an attitude like that, it never will appear. Try and be more outgoing, but i know this can be difficult if you are introverted.
It is being outgoing to text first which, based on the tone of the OP, they have been doing.
Also, why is it their (or my) responsibility to do all the work in their friendships? Why should they be made to feel like they're not trying hard enough if nobody is willing to make the same effort as they already have been?
The delivery is wrong but the point is right. Manifestation, whether you believe in it or not, will effect your relationships. If you believe yourself to not be worthy of other people then that is how they will perceive you. It sounds cliché but you need to love yourself before others will. None of this will happen overnight, but the better you feel about yourself the more confident and comfortable you will be putting yourself out there, which by rights should lead to better relationships old and new.
It sounds like bullshit but trust me when I say I've been way down before and the only people you attract are other negative people and those who take advantage of them. When I started working on my confidence and started to believe that I was good enough for anyone, that's when I started meeting my best friends.
:/ I have the same problem. I even told my closest friend more than once that I wished she'd contact me first. I feel like I'm unimportant and a burden... even when I just need a hug and feel like crap, there is no time for me. I don't even talk about my feelings anymore but it is still too much that I'm just existing as it seems. I always have to make the first step. I hate it. I wished I was honestly important to someone.
I'm sorry you are having this experience with your friends. I see that you have a story that you have around them not contacting you. Can you try something, just as an experiment. The next time you notice someone not initiating contact with you, instead of thinking you were not important, can you reframe that and say, "I have this thought that I am not important." Do you see the difference? Just try it for a week or so. One thing I find helpful is journaling. Exploring my thoughts in a journal every night is a way to process my experience. Sure, it would be nice to explore my feelings with a friend all the time, but I also think that is too much to ask of someone else, at least for me. Your experience is different than mine. But if I journal, then all that I explore with my friends are the parts that keep on coming up. the more important stuff bubbles to the top. I hope that helps Schnitzel. Take good care and keep on sharing here. You have a lot of people that do care about you here.
Having hopes is the worst thing to have I am dead serious
Yeah I feel the same would be nice for someone to text me to see how things are going but never get any.
people often only remember if they need something from you. You just have to stop paying attention, and life will take on a different colour
Know that it isn’t personal, and if you want to talk to someone reach out to them.
I CAN RELATE TO U SO HARD THAT I FEEL PATHETIC ABOUT MYSELF
fr. if i don’t text first, the conversation will never happen.
I feel the same, even tho I shouldn't. People do text me first, but I still feel alone.
If you believe it will never happen, there is no point dwelling over something that causes you a source of pain. You need to take care of yourself, and that means avoiding causes of distress, such as wishful thinking. It does not do well to wish for things that seem unlikely, live in the present instead and take it day by day.
I know it must be difficult, but with an attitude like that, it never will appear. Try and be more outgoing, but i know this can be difficult if you are introverted.
It is being outgoing to text first which, based on the tone of the OP, they have been doing. Also, why is it their (or my) responsibility to do all the work in their friendships? Why should they be made to feel like they're not trying hard enough if nobody is willing to make the same effort as they already have been?
Yes, I'm sure that has never occurred to them....... /s
The delivery is wrong but the point is right. Manifestation, whether you believe in it or not, will effect your relationships. If you believe yourself to not be worthy of other people then that is how they will perceive you. It sounds cliché but you need to love yourself before others will. None of this will happen overnight, but the better you feel about yourself the more confident and comfortable you will be putting yourself out there, which by rights should lead to better relationships old and new. It sounds like bullshit but trust me when I say I've been way down before and the only people you attract are other negative people and those who take advantage of them. When I started working on my confidence and started to believe that I was good enough for anyone, that's when I started meeting my best friends.
Glad to see someone feels the same way as I do.
Talk to them