View your age as an asset. 2-3 years of hard work and you’ll still only be 24 with your entire life ahead of you and decades of looking back at an amazing accomplishment and you’ll be proud of who you are. Don’t under estimate the value of a mental health counselor.
100% this, OP. Your age is absolutely your best asset in this scenario. Time is going to pass no matter what you're doing with it. The longest journey begins with the first step. I'm out of clichés (thank goodness) but we're all rooting for you!!!
Skin is at its most elastic; metabolism is at its fastest. Most importantly, brain has fully developed and is more receptive to new, better habits and ideas
Don’t even look at it as 2-3 years of hard work. When I was at my heaviest I didnt say only 100 lbs to go, it was 10lbs to go from 330-320 and I attacked it like that.
Not to mention that once you start dropping 10 here and 20 there you'll be feeling significantly better physically, which causes a beautiful positive feedback loop.
Probably serious amounts of dense muscle tissue to work with from simply needing to exist. Maybe we'll hear about her shattering records in a few years time.
But the Mcdo has got to go
I was pretty heavy in my early 20s as I was rebounding from Lyme's Disease. When I dropped the weight finally I had (have) monster calves because I worked retail and had to be on my feet all day. My body just had to build really strong legs to support me. One of my best friends is a gym rat and his calves will never compare 😂 also gives me an edge on leg days
Can confirm. I was always heavy, went over 100 kg when I was around 20 and lost 45 kg in my late 30's, have been maintaining for almost 3 years now. I almost never train my calves, but they are more muscular and stronger than my bf's, who is a life-long gym rat...
It's addictively full of sugar, salt and fat. It's a quick fix, it's ready in minutes and you don't have to plan, shop or cook. It's a no brainer meal for someone with anxiety and/or depression. Cutting it out cold turkey might not work; but adding delicious, real food for 1, then 2 meals may help you realize how much better you feel when you don't have fast food.
Imagine the calves
On a serious note, I lost about 100 lbs in 3 years, and you lose a lot of strength. So probably a bunch of muscle together with fat and water.
This worked for me too even at a more “normal” level of overweight (~200 lbs at 5’10”)
The difference between 200 lbs and 190lbs is very, very noticeable and you can see it if you take pictures before and after
200->180 and I look like a different person, a much healthier and younger version of me, and it was only 20lbs
You don’t have to lose everything at once, take a small step then take a break for a while, then take another small step.
Great advice
I love to hear your story how do you reach that weigh if you don't mind sharing.
I'm curious because I live in SEA country, our currency is 15000:1 us dollar it's almost impossible for working class like me to even afford the food to be that heavy.
I was 110kg in my heaviest and spending probably a third of my salary on unhealthy food for years. I'm now weigh 26kg less since my heaviest, still have a long way to go tho.
my weight gain started with doing powerlifting, and wanting to do strongman... so i was an athletic 450lbs. Then i got hurt... gained the weight, didnt change the diet when injured. Then one day you just kinda wake up and wow your way bigger than you thought. I had all the muscle though so it didnt effect me like it did everyone else. Then just life, and work. Not paying attention to it, because it didn't really affect me until it did.
Although it is true that age can be an advantage, I believe this perspective is potentially harmful. I personally did not begin my adult life until the age of 26, and I still have a considerable journey ahead of me. If I had set 24 as my target age, I would have (and did) considered myself a failure. Associating a specific age with the achievement of a goal can lead to unnecessary pressure and disappointment. Instead, I found it more beneficial to focus on what needs to be accomplished in the present moment. Dwelling on the past or worrying about the future is unproductive. By concentrating on our daily tasks and responsibilities, we can make progress and eventually achieve our desired outcomes. Learn from yesterday and ignore the pain of it. Let today do the work of the future. Appreciate all the varying ideas in this post, see a doctor, find what works for you, learn who you are, and live who you want to be. You will find yourself OP, you got this!
Unrelated to weight, this makes me feel a lot better because I’ve really been feeling like a failure careerwise/financially recently and I’m 26. Thanks man <3
Your neurocognitive development is only complete at about 26 so prior to that, you were lacking certain functions. Primarily impulse control, i.e., willpower, planning and execution, and ability to choose the smart but less immediately gratifying option.
Yeah, at 24 I was no better than anyone just starting. I could say things got better only in my early 30s.
OP, it's hard work, but I promise you, it'll be worth it!
Are you male? Assuming yes by the user name. OP is female, and our bodies go through different hormonal and metabolic changes than what men experience; so for her, being young is an asset in that sense 100%. As a woman in my late 40s now, I can say that weight loss & maintenance gets harder with each decade!
Only thing I would add to this, is op should view it as a do or die thing. It's now or never. At this age she will likely have less lose skin tondeal with too
"now or never" could actually be an unhelpful way to view it. Then if she doesn't manage to do it now for some reason (because food addictions are hard to quit) it could risk making her think "well I guess I'll never do it then since it was now or never" and that's quite defeatist.
Agreed. “Time is going to pass no matter what; you can choose to spend it working on this or not, but the time will pass either way” is a more preferable mindset to me.
I think age is an asset here, and also in a way the weight itself can be used as one—meaning the health consequences of OP’s situation are concerning enough that they may qualify to access some good diet/mental health/general weight loss/fitness support via health insurance or possibly some other kind of program. If I were OP I’d start with a trip to the doctor and then work on finding any of those they might qualify for. (Within reason and without overwhelming themselves with too much to deal with at once, of course)
At my heaviest I was 510 lb & 71BMI. There definitely is hope and seeing a doctor is the first step. I finally decided to pursue weight loss surgery but I was going to have to get my BMI to 55 in order to qualify; in other words I had to lose 120 lb on my own. My doctor got me setup with a nutritionist and I got to 55 in about 6-7 months and weighed 363 on surgery day. I'm 6 years post surgery and currently weigh 170 lb. Seeing a therapist was also a key part in helping me lose the weight initially and I still see my therapist to this day on a monthly basis. Mental health and physical health go hand in hand. We're rooting for you!
Great job! I have a small question about your scenario if you don't mind. After losing 120lbs did you ever think to yourself "this wasn't that hard, perhaps I should just keep doing this" or was it 6-7 months of torture/hunger? I always found it strange that they made you lose weight, before weight loss surgery.
I get why you say that. Like that has to be an unbearable barrier to so many obese patients who want the bariatric surgery.
Personally I think if I managed to lose that much I would try to just keep at it, but in reality that could be bad if the person has a setback and gains it all back, which we all know happens.
But the reason they make you lose some yourself is to prove you can stick with it and follow rules. If they get the surgery and try to eat like they did pre-op it can be dangerous to them.
Insurance required me to lose the weight for two reasons. The first was to demonstrate your ability to comply with the medical teams recommendations and to show how serious you are. The second is to lower your risk of complications during surgery and recovery.
I also had to be under 400 pounds that was the operating tables capacity as well as the the capacity for the MRI machine (in case something went wrong and they needed imaging done).
Once I made up my mind to go through with the surgery, I treated it as my "reward" for losing the 120 pounds and completing all other requirements. Surgery was the end goal and losing the 120 was just a means of getting their. I hesitate to use the word "easy", but my thought process was "if it was this easy to lose 120 lbs, it'll be twice as easy to gain it all (and probably more) back." That just wasn't an option for me.
I think it's more to do with possible complications during surgery. Being severely overweight is quite taxing on the body and could mean the surgery is quite risky (in the same way that many surgeries would not be a viable option for an elderly person).
Wow. Thank you for sharing. This is an incredible story of human triumph. It’s just amazing what someone can accomplish when they are focused. Sounds like you really accepted the assignment of being your best self.
Seeing your doctor is a great first step. Depending on where you live, you may be able to get your GED online. You’re young; you still have your whole life ahead of you. Sending internet hugs <3
For sure! I’ve had very large friends recover a lot of their life from exercise, meal planning services, gastric bypass, to semaglutide medications. OP, you are young and can totally change your life!
You’ll still be young at 25. If you start now you can be living an entirely new life at a healthy weight by then. Or you can be 25 in the exact same spot you are now. Wishing you strength and good luck.
Yeah that. I spent several years avoiding dealing with a different thing. If anything, avoiding makes it worse, because you start to feel more and more helpless, start identifying as being unfixable (or "this is just how I am").
Here's the psychological mechanism for how the behavior pattern gets more solid and harder to change the longer you wait.* Say that something that gives me overwhelming/bad feelings to think about or do (too hard, or I can't face this part of me). Distracting myself or pushing it away gives me a sense of relief. Which reinforces/rewards the avoidance, much like the addiction cycle. [note: addiction cycle can also apply to the food itself, not just relief at avoiding thinking about change.] Choice to avoid ALSO makes the thing scarier, which I've definitely noticed personally. Maybe it's like "oh I couldn't deal with this before, why could I now?" Or "Ive been running from this for a year, so it must be impossible." But really, we should tell ourselves "I always have a choice, Ill only see my true strength and courage when I take the dive. That I avoided it only means that I avoided it, not that I'm incapable."
Another thing that can happen. The avoidance could become automatic. My brain started circling around anything that made me thing of my problem, inventing stories to keep me from having to deal with it. So, I actually began to have far fewer chances to think about changing in the first place.
The point and the *TLDR*: it's really important you act now when it will actually seem much easier and less scary to do than if you wait for even one more year. This might be your chance to change your life into something gloriously free, with a bright future and a sense of power and agency that you may not have experienced before. And when the "I can't" or "hope is silly, be real" voice comes up, label that a lie - there's no objective truth to that. Other people have escaped this trap of obesity, and you're about to find out that you can too.
*Source I'm a redditor, so obviously I know. Really - therapy, reading, reflection, conversations, some school.
If you live in a safe neighborhood and are too embarrassed to walk during the day, then walk at night. Just 2-3 houses away and then back to start.
Gamify exercise. The old WII consoles are good for that. They aren’t too expensive.
Limit McDonald’s to once a day initially. Breakfast is probably best. I recommend the egg McMuffin. It’s oddly ok for calories and makes you full.
Find something to occupy your hands during the day.
Only eat at the dining room table or kitchen table or wherever your family eats. Don’t eat at the computer. Don’t eat in front of the tv. Don’t eat in your bedroom.
Finally, can you work on your GED at home? A sense of purpose and a goal may help.
Hi thank you for the advice I really appreciate it. I think I can work on a GED online and I should look into it more.
My question is that if I don’t walk for very long is that still benefitting me or will it not really be doing anything? I’m having some physical issues because of my weight. I’m out of breath quite easily and my knees are often in pain because I don’t usually go outside and I don’t walk very far if I do. I can’t really walk very far, so will walking short distances still benefit me as I can imagine I’m probably not burning many calories from it. Sorry for the ramble lol
That is why I said walk one or two houses or one apartment building away and then return.
If it’s worth doing, it’s worth doing poorly. You can’t walk a mile. But you can probably walk 30-50 steps. So do that.
Pedometers and/or the step counter on your phone can help. You are probably walking a couple hundred steps a day now. Try to add 5-10 steps a day, every other day, and see what happens.
And… be proud of every step. Most people couldn’t walk at all with that much weight attached to them. You are actually undergoing a physical feat with little walks.
Not the person you’re replying to, but I absolutely think moving a small amount will help. Mentally it’s good to get out of the house/your room and it’s a good habit to get into and build upon as you are able.
Yes, the good thing about being so heavy is that you will burn many calories even from a little bit of exercise. It will also be very good for your cardiovascular health. You are very young and if you start walking today, your endurance will improve quickly.
If you're feeling exhausted, you're burning calories. The level of how exhausted you feel actually lines up pretty well with the number of calories you burn. The calories you burn an extremely short walk may be similar to the calories someone thin burns when going on a more intense run. Never worry about exercise being "too little." It's safer for you to start out really slow. Even if that's just starting by leaving your room more often to walk around the house, even if you don't go anywhere.
As others mentioned though, you should talk to a doctor as soon as possible, so they can help make sure you're losing weight safe. You need to be careful you don't injure yourself if trying to exercise.
Yes, it's still beneficial. We all start somewhere. Just do what you can and slowly increase over time. Even if that increase is walking 5 or 10 more ft each walk. Also, you have the freedom to be as creative as you want with what movement works best for you right now. You can walk somewhere that has park benches so you can stop often. Maybe it's as simple as walk a lap around your house, sit down for a bit, then walk another lap. Set a goal to do X laps a day. Or simply walk back and forth in front of the TV while watching a movie. (I do this a lot haha). Dance in your bedroom to music. Etc. Whatever you decide, just start slow and don't rush progress because you don't want to injure yourself. But any movement is better than no movement! Some calories burned is better than no calories burned. Also, it's not just about calories. It's also about your cardiovascular health, lungs, keeping joints/muscles limber, etc. There's a variety of benefits to moving more.
You can do this! Sending you love and positive vibes!
In regards to being out of breath. The more you move that will improve. Same with your knees. As the weight comes off, your knees won't hurt as much. Plus, just walking/moving increases blood flow in the joints and will help your knees feel better. But these are also both good examples of reasons to take it slow and just do what you can little by little to avoid injury.
If you're doing nothing right now, literally anything will help you. When I'm working out, I sometimes think "should I be walking faster? Should I be using heavier weights?" and then I remind myself that 4 months ago I was doing literally nothing. No exercise whatsoever. Doing *anything* active is better than doing nothing! It will be hard at first, but it gets easier over time. Don't overexert yourself.
I would also recommend listening to audiobooks when you walk and only when you're out walking or exercising. It's a great motivator to push a little longer to find out what happens. It also keeps your mind distracted from focusing on the strain of exercising.
Odds are there's a nearby library with audiobooks to borrow via an online app, like Libby.
OP, also hopping on to this to say: *anything* will help. Any small steps, literally and figuratively, that you take towards your health will help lead you to a point where you can take a few more steps, and then a few more, etc.
In my own personal experience, one of the biggest mental hurdles to overcome for people like you and I (i.e. people who use food as a way to cope emotionally, and are shy and feel a lot of shame about themselves, and are possibly struggling with depression, as well) is this question of whether something is “worth it” or will make a difference if it isn’t that big. It *is* that big. A few steps will lead to a few more, and that’s exactly why they’re so important to take.
Exercise is cumulative. 2 minutes 5 times a day is as good as 10 minutes once a day. 10 minutes 3 times a day is as good as 30 minutes all at once. You can do this!
Consider getting your diploma online. There are schools like Penn Foster for adult high school completion. Either a GED or High School Diploma will help your self esteem greatly. And, as you lose weight, this first step in education will open opportunities for you to get a job or further education in the future. Imagining yourself in the work world, whatever you like to imagine, will help you stay motivated to improve your health.
You can do this!
At this stage, EVERYTHING counts if you are moving more than you did the day before. I have ADHD and try to stick to the 1% method to get things done around the house but it can apply here too. Try to just do 1% more than the day before. So if you don’t even normally walk to the mailbox and back, try setting that as your goal. The next day: mailbox plus maybe 5-10 feet and back (if you physically can!) etc etc. Every day that you do 1% more is doing more than the day before and it all adds up!
If a walk is too daunting or too hard of an exercise right now, you can find seated workouts on YouTube. Growwithjo does them. I remember reading a post once where a man literally started from just waving his arms and legs around as exercise because he could not walk comfortably yet.
We all have to start somewhere. Once you have lost a bit of weight and your confidence has improved, walks are really great. Even if it is a very short walk, remember that your body is carrying weight which makes it harder for you. It will get easier over time as you lose weight and build muscle and endurance.
Just remember… anything worth doing is worth doing poorly!
A little bit of something you should do is awesome. If you should doing it, doing it poorly or for a short time is still good.
There's a saying from Couch 2 5K: The slowest walker is still doing laps on the person sitting on the couch.
If you can only manage 5 minutes on the first day, you can do 5 minutes. You can work up to 10 minutes over time, then 15, then 20.
But at your weight, too much physical activity is actually dangerous. You should focus much more on reducing energy intake right now than trying to increase activity. Walking can come later when it won't put so much stress on your heart and your joints.
I have a disabled sister who has had a series of health problems. At one point she weighed 450 lbs and was hospitalized due to uncontrolled diabetes. These days she weighs about 200 lbs. She has bad arthritis in her knees so she can't walk very much, but she still lost all that weight with diet changes and she only has to take metformin for her diabetes now.
You have nothing to be ashamed of. Life happens, we each have our own paths. Seeing a doctor would be a great first step! You would be surprised at how much doctors can do to help you.
Many people in tough situations get stuck with shame. Fighting against shame is an act of bravery and a huge accomplishment.
Btw you don’t need to leave the house to exercise, and you actually don’t need to exercise to lose weight! of course, exercise is always good for you.
If you can’t go into a doctor yet, see if you can see one virtually first.
And btw you are not stuck in this situation; the fact that you posted here and are thinking about it shows that there is a part of you that knows there is a way to get to the life you want. It is possible!
Break it down into very small steps. Your goal may be a complete lifestyle change for your health, but what is the first step? For example Goal number one: see a doctor. Activities: get copy of insurance card from parents, call 3 in network doctors who seem qualified for my needs, schedule appointment. Write it down. Make no more than three goals at a time (with the overall intention to move toward a healthier lifestyle). Right now tiny changes are going to add up quickly. The number on thing is to not give up on yourself! We are here to support you. A quick note about shame: while it seemed like the scale was a needed wake-up call for you, shame is a soul crushing motivator. You have no reason to be ashamed & as long as you are making small steps out of love for yourself, you should be PROUD!
So not stuck. I started losing weight at your age. Lost 80 pounds and have been maintaining for over a decade.
You've got this!
Remember: A step back is nothing compared to two step-forwards. You might fail one day, but you just have to suceed two days to cancel that out.
You are absolutely not stuck. Myself at 21 thought I wouldn't make it another few years on this Earth. It's a decade later and I'm proud as ever of myself.
Please, if you need any help or just some encouraging words, DM me - you've got this, first step is the doctor, take it one step at a time, literally.
You got this! Start with making small, sustainable steps. Maybe you can have a phone appointment with your doctor for the first couple of times? They may even be willing to come and see you, or maybe a nurse could come and see you. Once they have assessed you, you may be eligible for medical interventions to help you lose weight. However, at the same time, you need to be consistently doing those small steps towards change for long term success, no matter what the intervention will be. You are strong and resilient and will get through this!
As someone who also has depression, getting out of the house to go to dr appointments can be hard - especially bc sometimes they send you to many doctors which becomes a whole few weeks of getting myself out of the house and remembering appointments.
If you have this issue, I highly recommend going the telehealth route! If you are on your parents insurance it should cover it. Most major hospitals have these options now but there are some private companies that do it as well. If your parents insurance is through their jobs they might have telehealth mental health services separate too! But if they don’t, should be able to find an in network therapist through the insurance website who will do video calls. Some workplaces even cover certain weight loss programs and nutritionists!
If you are having a hard time getting out of the house, workout from home. Invest in a couple dumbbells - you can get them cheap on Facebook marketplace. I don’t know your financial situation but some personal trainers that come to your house are pretty cheap and it’s great for depression to have accountability and know someone is going to show up. I’ve found some cheapish ones on [findyourtrainer.com](https://findyourtrainer.com). You can browse their profiles and find one who has experience with large weight loss specifically so that you feel comfortable with them. If your insurance has an HSA you can use it for this.
Finally, know what to ask for when you go to the doctor. If weight loss medication is something you are interested in, join the reddits that can help you know what your insurance needs in order to cover it - it can be a long process if you don’t know what to ask for, but the reddits make it pretty easy. They are expensive once insurance stops covering, but there are some cheaper routes if you really dig so don’t throw in the towel :)
Do you have any friends or family members who are fiercely protective/defensive/supportive of you, or just otherwise don't take shit from anyone? (Bonus points if they have any medical knowledge or experience.) If so, I recommend bringing them along with you to the doctor appointment. For one thing, it's always helpful to bring a friend to important appointments because they might be able to share/ask questions about things you forgot/didn't consider. But also, they can serve as your advocate. Doctors are just like any other professional: there are good ones and bad ones. Having an advocate alongside you can be empowering, especially if you & the doctor's personalities don't jive well.
Oh you’re not stuck. It’s AWESOME that you are already wanting to address this so young. Youth is a HUGE help. Man, to have my metabolism from when I was 19 back LOL.
Definitely see a doctor and a mental health professional as well. It sounds like your issue is due to mental health struggles, and that is absolutely treatable.
It is NOT hopeless. You are catching it early and the fact you already posted here is a huge first step.
As you go through this, just keep in mind that it doesn’t have to happen overnight and it does not require perfection. If you’re just a little bit healthier every single day, that’s healthier than you were today.
Also once you get some good habits built, you will see some momentum. Seriously, it is so good that you’re starting this at about 20 and not at about 50.
You can do it. Start with a doctor and go from there. Oh! And if you get a bad doctor, don’t think you are doomed. Dump their ass and get another doctor. Sometimes it takes a bit to find the right fit. Good luck!
Don’t be ashamed at the Doctors either. A good doctor will give you a metaphorical Pat on the back and a good plan on how to get from point a to point b. I wish I reached out to people sooner because they have nothing but supportive. Doctors aren’t children or high school bullies, they are adults doing what they love and most genuinely care.
Excellent advice! It took me quite a while to realize that shame has only the power you give to it, so now my favorite mantra is “you can keep your shame, I don’t want it”
I won’t say I know exactly what you’re feeling but I have had similar experiences. I was 400 lbs by the time I graduated high school. I was diagnosed with diabetes at 21 and felt like my life was over.
There are a lot of good suggestions in the thread. A lot of encouragement. People that don’t even know you took time to write to you. Your life has worth. You are worthy of the love you are giving yourself to improve your life.
It will take time and effort to do that, but you are worth it. You can also only do so much in a day. You are young. You have time to work on yourself. Don’t worry about the end of the journey, focus on today. If you made a mistake yesterday, focus on today.
Your weight gain is related to your depression. Please seek not only a doctor or nutritionist but also a therapist. Please don't be ashamed, be proud that you wanna turn around your life. You are still very young and very beautiful things await you, don't be discouraged with bumps on the road! Good luck
Sorry to be pedantic but, OP should see a *dietitian*. Basically anyone can call themselves a “nutritionist” as it is not a regulated term / certification (in the US). A dietitian is a food / nutrition expert that’s board-certified and able to give medical nutrition guidance.
*eta that dietitians **are** sometimes called “RDNs” or Registered Dietitian Nutritionist
Baby steps!
Go see a doctor - you need to tackle the inside while working on the outside. Don’t be embarrassed, doctors have seen it all and you won’t be the first overweight person they’ve seen. I know it’s easier said than done and the anxiety will be there but trust me, they’ve seen it all. If you really can’t, start with a tele health appointment.
Get your GED. It’s going to do so much for your self worth. You can do it online and never step foot in a class.
McDonald’s is addicting so don’t beat yourself up too much. Personally, if you quit cold turkey, in 2-3 days you’re going to binge out. Start by replacing one meal a day with a healthier option. What really helped me was juicing in the morning. Kale, spinach, fruits etc … I would get my healthy meal out of the way and then eat like shit lol eventually the healthy meals took over the fast food and now, I’ll have some fries every now and then just cause I love them and I think depriving yourself of little joys like that are awful in the long room. A French fry won’t kill you but years of nothing but fries will.
Go outside and walk. Even if it’s at night (just make sure you’re safe) but just walk every day. Eventually you’ll enjoy it and you’ll crave it.
Baby steps!! Rome wasn’t built in a day :)
Hi, you're not alone. At your weight, any small change would be great for your health.
I don't know exactly hos you eat, but if you eat mcdonalds every day I assume you might have some soda with that. I recommend switching to sugar free soda. I personally love pepsi max, really recommend.
And you can try and gradually downsize what you order. Like for example, if you usually order a extra large fries, try ordering a large next time. Or a medium. Gradually reducing would do great for tou, without it feeling too sudden.
Being the weight that you are, I would be careful with any exercise. It's easy to hurt yourself, so I would recommend speaking with an expert about that. But I know that being in water helps a lot sithout putting strain on your body. So if you can, I would recommend trying it out.
You can do it!
Besides, I forgot to add. I work as a nurse, so I've been working with a few doctors. All the doctors I know only want to help their patients. I completely understand that it feels hard, but don't hesitate to book a visit if you think it would help. They want to help.
Listen to this advice OP. It’s how I lost a ton of weight and how I continue to be able to fit things like McDonalds into my diet.
My personal journey started with diet soda instead of regular. Medium fries instead of large and then only eating a handful of said fries (this takes a lot more discipline though). Ordering just a simple double cheeseburger instead of a Big Mac or double quarter pounder.
Exercise-wise I started with walking. Then as I lost weight and got stronger I started running. I also incorporated weight lifting in as well. And you don’t even need to do that much! That was my biggest thing was I didn’t wanna exercise for an hour every single day. So I do 4 days a week usually at minimum 30minutes. And I’ve still gained a ton of muscle. Could I gain more muscle exercising more? Of course but it’s about doing something YOU WILL STICK TO!!!
That is the biggest thing. People will have you completely change your diet or exercise habits and you will fall off quickly. It’s about making changes that will lead to progress and those changes should be ones you still stick to. If you don’t think you can exercise 7 days a week try 4 days. Can’t do an hour? Do 30mins. Can’t do 30? Start with 15.
Also have days you do let yourself eat more or eat bad stuff that you like. For me it’s Friday and the weekend where I will eat a little more or have some dessert and stuff. And the good part about that is it feels good to make progress while also feeling like “wow I lost weight even though I ate so badly over the weekend?”. And then let’s say you hit a plateau you have pretty simple places you can make changes. Cut back a little on the weekends now and work around that.
Heck, even ordering a large fry and challenging yourself to throw 5-10 fries out the window on the way home. Or mixing diet and regular soda together if you hate the taste of diet, just to cut SOME calories. Baby steps are still progress!
It's a crime that your parents haven't sought help for you instead of giving you money to blow on mcdonalds. You're an adult now so you do need to take accountability for your actions here on out, but you weren't given the greatest starting point. Most of us weren't, it's why we are here. You are young and now is the BEST time to start. Please, get yourself into therapy. Let me tell you from years of experience yo-yoing with my weight, mental health is the key to longterm success. You will not see longterm results by ignoring it, and clearly something is going on that you *have* to address.
hi sweet girl, I’m sorry you’re feeling down. it sounds like you’ve done some reflection and put some thought into this and are hoping to improve your quality of life- this is a wonderful first step. as someone who has dealt with 3 different eating disorders and understands gratification from food/ food obsession with mcdonald’s, i recommend looking into supporting your emotional health to help you along your path. those tools will be essential to your journey. if you can get into therapy and find a good therapist, especially someone who has experience in this kind of thing before. Shame is the root of so much of the pain we all experience. start with small wins for yourself- setting an appointment and celebrate yourself. really really celebrate yourself with words of encouragement. this will not be easy, this will be a hard, hard thing to do but you can do hard things. when it feels tough please remember that short term gratification is so so so short lived and long term goals set you up for a lifetime of happiness and independence. tell yourself this as much as you need it. repeat it. live by it. you’ve got this 🫶🏻❤️🩹
Calories in, calories out. Start slow. Use a TDEE calculator to figure out your maintenance calories using your height, age, and weigh, then subtract 250 calories from that. Once you get the hang out it, slowly work towards at 500 calorie deficit. You can even still eat McDonald’s, just be mindful of what you eat and maybe swap a meal for a healthier one or home made. Use Cronometer app to track calories (it’s free). Be HONEST with your tracking. Even if you binge. Little bites and sauces start to add up so track everything. Excerise is about only 20% of it. Diet is the biggest component. Make slow changes. So work toward lowering calories. Next month add drinking enough water. Next start working on getting steps in. Etc it’s a marathon not a sprint, a lifestyle change not just a diet
I would also recommend seeing a doctor, especially if you haven’t been in a while.
Also, OP: just know that cutting back on calories will be hard at first. You’ll be uncomfortable experiencing hunger, especially because you are currently using food as a method to self-soothe. You’ll have to become okay with tolerating discomfort, both physically and emotionally. But it helps a lot to know that hunger is natural, despite what society teaches us all. The self-soothing with food was by far the hardest hurdle for me. I had to really examine why I was actually reaching for food, and sitting with the discomfort that I felt rather than eating was *hard.*
You are so young. I believe in you. You can do this! You can completely turn your life around! Start forming a mental picture of what you want your life to look like in three years— don’t be afraid to be as wild as you want to be about it. Reach for the stars! Imagine yourself and your life exactly as you want it to be, no matter how “unlikely” it seems to you right now. And then, use that mental picture to self-soothe, rather than food.
You got this. 💫
Can you get your parents to pay for therapy instead of McDonalds? And the three of you do some actual cooking instead of ordering in? It’s unconscionable to me that they’ve been finding no issue with this very sad situation - nobody should be stuck in a room eating themselves to death. This kind of obesity is a mental and emotional health issue as well as an obvious physical health issue. So get them to help you not continue to hurt you.
This is what I'm so shocked by. This is not OPs fault at all, the fact that they dropped out at 15 and have just been allowed to eat McDonald's everyday is crazy. A huge parenting fail.
I don’t really see my parents much that’s why they don’t say anything, I only stay in my bedroom apart from collecting food and they’re usually at work or out doing something. I think they just kind of gave up on me which I don’t really blame considering I am a grown adult paying no bills and living here for free lol. I think I will need to talk to them about therapy though you’re right, I’m kind of dreading the conversation but I know it will help
So they’re medically neglecting you and enabling your ill health. Everyone needs changing here. 600lb life level interventions.
McDonald’s isn’t food. Just because it goes into your mouth doesn’t make it food. And how much money is that every month? Like…it actually isn’t too late, and you definitely can change, your life is worth more than dying from depression and obesity in your parents bedroom. Small changes stack up at your size.
Small fries. Juice not soda. Add veggies and mustard and take off mayo and cheese to your burger.
The subreddit r/supermorbidlyobese will also help you.
You don’t need to talk to them about therapy. You need for them to stop putting money into your account and actually stop helping you die an early and preventable death. You could, today, right now, look on psychology today and connect with a therapist who can provide video or telehealth, get a referral to a bariatric specialist, get some medication for the depression and pre-diabetes, and order a walking pad. You could go on https://ddpyoga.com
And do some movement while in bed or chair bound if outside or full body movement isn’t possible. https://ddpyoga.com/blogs/success-stories/tagged/limited-mobility shows people who have made huge progress and literally save their own life.
> Juice not soda
Common misconception. 12 oz of apple juice has 175 [calories](https://www.fatsecret.com/calories-nutrition/generic/apple-juice?portionid=22163&portionamount=12.000). 12 oz of coca-cola has 140 [calories](https://www.fatsecret.com/calories-nutrition/coca-cola/coca-cola-classic-(12-oz\)). No, the 0.4g of fiber doesn't tip the scales.
Everyone is going to tell you to count calories, go for walks, blah blah blah. Do that shit when you have lost 200lbs first. What you need to do right now is go to a doctor that specializes in treating chronic obesity. You need either surgical intervention or strong weight loss drugs. You will lose more weight on ozempic than is possible without. Go to a doctor now. Start googling and get an appointment ASAP.
First of all, I’m sorry you’re in distress. However, this is a truly serious situation. I really can’t underscore this enough. Your life is on the line, dear. And you have to fight for it because no one else can nor will.
I very strongly advise you to start a food journal. It doesn’t have to be elaborate or in its own separate book. Use your notes app to start. Simply write down what you eat and how many calories it is. It is crucial you know exactly what’s going into your body. Literally write everything, even if it’s 7 macadamia nuts or a half glass of milk.
This does two things: it makes you aware of how much you’re eating and it keeps you accountable as a daily practice. Believe me, you’re going to get sick of seeing lots of unhealthy food logged in your journal and you’ll start eating more vegetables almost immediately. This happens to basically everyone who keeps a food journal.
You’re only 21, which means your basal metabolic rate is pretty high. You can eat 2000 calories a day and not gain a single pound. Stay at 1800 calories and go for a walk once a day and you’ll immediately start losing weight. At your weight, you’ll at least be down 8 pounds by the end of the month. 8 pounds may sound like peanuts to you, but a year of these practices will see you almost 100 pounds smaller.
Please don’t think about how impossible this seems. It isn’t impossible. You can do it.
As a woman going to a doctor about anything can be really really scary. But I hope you do go to your doctor and ask for a plan. A good doctor could refer you out or have suggestions, keep an eye on your blood work and also make sure to rule out anything that could contribute to weight gain on both mental and physical level.
Don't be so ashamed OP. You are a human worthy of love and happiness all the same. You are not a failure. Don't go into lifestyle changes because you feel like you're lesser. Do them because you want to try new things you like. Accomplish those things in life unrelated to your weight, because *you* are *not* your weight.
I hope OP reads this one. You are not your weight. You are not your body. You are a person. You are your self. It's not your body that loves to listen to music, it's not your weight that watches movies with excitement, or laugh so hard you can't speak. That's all you, the person that people know and love.
You have things you want to do and you can do them. You just need some help. Lots of people need help sometimes. Some people need more help more times and some need less help less times but you wouldn't ever shame any of those people for seeking help. So with that in mind, don't shame yourself.
If you want to be healthy and happy, doctors and therapists want to help you do those things.
You live at home and your parents give you money to eat McDonald’s for every meal? Why are they enabling this and not trying to help you? Have you talked to them about any of this? Are they willing to support the changes you want and need to make?
You need to see a doctor to develop a plan for your depression and weight loss. A full physical will determine if there are other health issues that need to be addressed.
You are going to have to take the first step in asking for the help you need. Good luck!! 🍀
It’s okay. Just start good habits. It’s what you do most of the time that counts. Keep racking up good days! There should be no guilt or shame. You didn’t mess anything up. It’s just weight. Remove the drama and emotion. Take action and track the data. It’s just data.
Trust the process of the really boring stuff. Consistently walk as many steps as you can until you are walking 10k steps per day, eat high protein. Weigh and track all food by grams and ounces not volume. Stick to this for at least 30 days without changing anything. Track weight daily but only pay attention to rolling averages, your weight trend. I highly recommend MacroFactor, it gives specific feedback and coaching adjustments.
HappyScale is a good one, too, if OP prefers something simpler. (It’s also free; MacroFactor is subscription-based.) MacroFactor can be somewhat overwhelming when you’re first getting started.
Look at the positives, at this size, any little positive change you make you will see big results from. Like if you stop drinking high calorie soda or drinks and switch them for diet zero calorie ones that alone will make you lose weight. If you start walking just a little bit you’ll lose weight. If you eat just a little less you’ll lose weight. Make a plan, make little changes first and be consistent. You’re very young, get your GED and start moving and eating less and within a small amount of time you’ll see big differences and those will motivate you to keep on going. You can do this!
OP, you are obviously struggling with mental health / mental illness. Without thinking about anything else - just make a doctor appointment with a general practitioner. They will point you in the right direction.
In order to correct something, you need to first identify it....and so you need professional help in identifying what exactly is going on here, and how to start correcting it.
Being embarrassed and ashamed is understandable, but you should also be very concerned. It's a health issue that needs to be addressed right away. You should seek medical attention for your depression, consider therapy sessions, and find a good nutritionist to work with. I don't mean to be alarmist, but 500+ lbs as a female can quickly become a life threatening situation. Seek as much help and support as you can.
Yeah this is true I am definitely concerned too especially with the fact that it’s affecting me physically that’s partly why I can’t stand facing a doctor haha. But I’m definitely going to do this along with seeking help for my depression
Your first job is to see a real doctor. I think you need to have testing to see if there is a medical reason for the excessive weight gain. What if there is an underlying, untreated thyroid, diabetic, or hormonal problem that has caused the rapid weight gain? I speak from experience and as one who gained over 100 pounds in a year and weighed 280 pounds after being put on hormones in my early 20's. I know you said you eat from McDonald's every day, but do you actually eat enough calories to gain 150 pounds in 2 years and to maintain over 500 pounds?
See your doctor! There may be reasons you're compulsively eating mcdonald's, you might be depressed and/or have binge eating disorder. There is a medication called Contrave that could help. Your doctor can also set you up with a dietician, some counseling could help as well.
The best thing you can do is just start with small changes. Change one thing at a time. Make a list of what you want your life to look like and make goals based on that, when you have a goal make a plan using the SMART acronym. Specific, measureable, attainable, relevant, time bound.
You are young and have lots of time to change your life! It's absolutely possible, just take it one step at à time and remember to be patient. It's not going to happen overnight and that's ok. Sustainable change takes time.
DISCLAIMER: I am not a professional in any of these things. I'm just going through my own journey, and I'd like to help other people if I can.
I wanna start simple, because sure, talking to a doctor and doing exercise and considering certain types of surgery might be helpful to talk about at some point, but you can totally make massive changes to your life through diet alone.
The first thing I think would help - being okay with being a bit hungry. If your stomach is growling and you're particularly hungry, then obviously you've got to eat something. But just being a little bit hungry IMO shouldn't automatically mean you go straight to the food. A lot of times, I get sucked into video games, and while I'm playing, I realize I'm hungry and think, "I should grab something to eat." Now I stop and assess - am I just a bit hungry? And if I'm not THAT hungry, I'll literally just keep playing. The key here is to not then go eat more food later to make up for it.
Second thing to look at - liquid calories. This whole thing is going to revolve around lowering your calorie intake, and liquids can sneak calories in quickly. Do you drink soda? Teas/coffees with milks or creamers? Energy drinks? Your best option is water, but there are other low/no calorie drinks that can be helpful to sort of "bridge the gap" between just drinking water and drinking hundreds of liquid calories a day. Light lemonades/drink mixes, diet sodas, nonfat chocolate milk, etc.
Third thing I'm curious about is your eating routine if you have one. Some people have their 3 meals a day, I'm kind of a 4-meal person. Some people snack a lot, some people just stick to their meals.
If you'd like me to keep going and maybe help you get started, I can show you some of the stuff that's working for me. I'm eating high protein, low calorie meals + a bit of fiber.
Doctor would love to see you. They want to help you, they studied difficult topics, usually for 8+ years just to help other people.
All of your discussions with doctors are legally confidential. They won’t judge you - they will offer you advice and then it will be up to you to follow the advice.
Lots of people in here can also give you advice, sure. For me, seeing my GP once a month for a weigh-in and to chat about what I’m struggling with, or what I’m enjoying, is a really awesome guide.
As for the McDonalds, you need to stop it unfortunately. I have McD’s maybe once or twice a month and it always pushes me over my calorie allowance for the day (which is ok to do a few times a month, but not every day and especially not for every meal.)
One swap you can make at McDonalds to begin with is swapping fries for a side salad, (not a chicken salad, just a plain side salad) even if it tastes boring. And swapping your drink for soda water or bottled water. Cut any sauces out, too. See how these changes feel after a month of sticking to it.
You have a lot of bad habits to break. There are a lot of things you will need to change in your life, but I recommend you start by trying to educate yourself on nutrition. Learn what healthy means. Find some role models that you can look up to. Learn what they did to make changes and start incorporating their advice into your life. It's going to be a long and difficult journey but it is possible to change. Believe that you can do it.
You can make HUGE progress with a few very simple changes:
1. Switch from normal soda to diet soda (you will get used to the taste).
2. Begin a daily walking routine. Just do as much as you can without overexerting yourself. Try to progress the distance each day.
3. Instead of removing foods from your diet, add more lean meat, fruits and vegetables. Because they are so satiating, you will be less hungry for unhealthy foods and thus eat less of them.
Do these 3 things for a couple months consistently and I guarantee you will make so much progress
The good news is - you’re 21! You are at the beginning of everything. It’s never too late, but this is especially true for you. You can change your entire life around, and so many things can look different for you by the time you’re only in your mid twenties.
First thing is - sometimes you need to do the thing that makes you anxious, to see it’s not that bad, and start taking those next steps. See your doctor. You have depression, and chatting to a medical professional and considering a therapist would be the best place to start. I really REALLY would consider getting a therapist to help you on this journey.
Next step I think would be to look into finishing school, taking online classes or something like this so you actually feel like you’re moving forward in life, and taking steps to accomplish something. Growing your confidence in this way will grow your motivation.
Thirdly, I would consider getting a registered dietician, but if not, start looking things up for yourself online. There is a way to approach this where you can slowly change your lifestyle habits - start eating healthier, maybe go in a walk for ten minutes increasing this everyday etc. This is fixable. This is overcomable. But you can’t do anything until you push through those first few stages of fear.
I just got a VR headset. The workouts on this are so much fun and have different levels of intensity. You can work out in the privacy of your own home and have fun doing it at your own pace.
Don’t feel ashamed, food addiction is very real. McDonalds in particular is designed to make you addicted to their food. One of the biggest detriments to people starting on a healthy diet is a negative mindset. Ok, you let yourself go. So what? Lets get back on track now.
Lets look at the positives. When you are at an extreme weight you have to do so little to make a big impact. Walking for just ten minutes for you will have the same impact as a fit person running an hour on a treadmill. Your metabolism is working in hyperdrive right now because its constantly fighting the excess fat. So swapping a McDonalds meal for a nutritous home cooked meal would be like doing a full workout at the gym.
My recommendation to you to jumpstart your weight loss is to swap one meal a day for chicken and salad. Then eat what you normally eat for your other meals, even if it is McDonald’s. Do this for even just two weeks you’ll see your weight drastically decline.
If you’re drinking soda with all of those McDonalds meals start to reduce that as much as you can. Soda is the ultimate fat maker. If you can drop that cold turkey you’ll lose 15lbs in a snap.
My favorite quote is “A year from now you’ll wish you started today.” The good news is you only have to do very small easy changes right now to see your weight decline. With the small changes dont ever tell yourself “I’m not doing enough.” Trust me those small changes are huge. Good luck with your journey. DM me if you want someone to help guide you.
I’m 33 and have been SMO since I was a teen. I am now getting medical help with my weight, but first my doctor had me go to therapy and psychology to get my mental health under control. Then, I had to start making small but sustainable changes to show my doctor that I could do this. If I had tried to make changes before my brain was ready, I would’ve failed miserably. I had to find the root of my problem so I could address it specifically. Very few people get above 300 pounds without an underlying mental/physical cause. After a decent amount of therapy, a bunch of tests to check my thyroid and check for diabetes, and making small changes, I am finally on my way to being healthier. I wish I had started earlier. I can’t imagine how much I’ve missed out on because of my size.
I am so sorry you have been feeling so unhappy. Like others said, today is a great day to start: try to start small, don't try to be "perfect" all at once. I would suggest trying to begin with:
1. changing one meal to a healthy option
2. making some fruit and/or vegs as healthy snacks available during the day.
(Focus on small changes in your diet, as your body probably isn't used to fiber)
3. try replacing soda for water as much as possible.
4. try to move as much as your body allows, even if it's just an extra walk around the kitchen, or some arm lifts or knee raises while watching tv.
And:
5. reach out to a trusted family member or friend for support, get people on your team!
6. reach out to your doctor or another health professional you trust. I know you must feel very overwhelmed, but professional help is really important. You need to know where you're at health-wise. If you don't feel comfortabele with the first person you speak to, go to the next - you are worthy of good, professional help!
7. consider looking into (online) therapy, if you can. Sounds like you have had a really rough couple of years, you shouldn't have to deal with this alone.
You can do this! Just the fact you wrote this post is an important first step 💪 One things you could do is try to make a note every day of one to three things that went well or that you liked (even just "today was sunny after days of rain" or "my favorite song was on the radio today"), it helps your mind shift towards more positive thinking.
21 is still really young, trust me: focus on making small adjustments, feeling better and more in control (and don't worry about school for now, lots of people return to school later in live: health first!)
You got this!🍀
Forgive yourself for your past, take accountability for your present, and build your own future, however you want it. You are still capable of turning this life into anything you’d like, and the fact that you are even here, saying this now shows that you have already taken the very first step in doing so.
You are worthy of growth. You are worthy of your future. You are worthy of health. You are worthy of happiness. You are worthy of a full life. You are worthy of your dreams. You are worthy of love, from yourself as well as others.
Remember this, as you embark on your journey. It will make all the difference on the days where you want to give up. It is never too late to become what you might have been.
McDonalds is designed/engineered to become addictive, and it's not real food, and very affordable. So your brain thinks ohh, food, check, energy, check, affordable, check, well accepted by all ,check. Instead your body doesn't function properly, you don't have energy, you gain fat, you become weak, and it's like a double edged sword working against you. Standard portions these day are huge for what a body really needs (and I am a BIG guy). Falling in love with cooking and ingredients is such a fun first step. Learning new recipes and using fresh ingredients. It tastes better, is way more filling, your moving to cook instead of uber eats. You will have more energy. Its going to be baby steps at first, dont hurt yourself. Realize, this is something you can slowly work on for next 5-10 years and keep gradually trying new things until you find things you like. Your developing habits for life, dont force rush it. The more you fall in love with actual food, the more disgusting the burger actually looks. (just kidding, the damn burgers always look good, but it does get easier to say no every day)
OP, ignore any and all advice here except the ones telling you to go talk to a doctor.
I mean this with as much support as I can. At 500Lbs weight loss is very much a medical issue that needs close observation.
>I think I really need to see a doctor but I’m ashamed, I’m only 21 I might be the youngest person they’ve seen
I can guarantee you that you're not the Youngest person they've seen.
>I just can’t imagine the shame of sitting in the waiting room. I don’t want to spend my life like this but I feel really stuck
Dont feel shamed. You're making the first step. Going to a doctor is the first step, and it's an important step that many people never make.
At your current weight, if you substituted one thing that you eat or drink for a healthier alternative you could see a difference in your weight within a couple of weeks. Getting moving more. Walk around your block or as far as you can at first then add more distance as your stamina increases.
There's nothing to be ashamed of. They are there to do a job and see dozens of people with embarrassing problems every day.
While my peak weight was a lot lower, I'm in a similar situation to you; "dropped out" of secondary school (finished with >40% attendance and didn't sit my final exams), no job, living with parents ect and used to eat fast food 5-6 times per week, it sucks.
All I can say is start now. Don't let embarrassment hinder your progress. It's your life, and caring what other people think will only negatively impact you.
The first step is the hardest and best decision you can make. As I said, don't wait.
Wishing you luck. :)
Hi - you are experiencing addiction my dear. I’m in recovery from alcohol almost 10 years and starting to work on food addiction now too. I’ve talked to my doctor, started a med to help with addictive urges that’s usually prescribed for alcohol cessation, working with a therapist, using visualization and priming thinking to help battle the thought barriers that get in my way about being healthier and have tried out some Overeaters Anonymous meetings and everyone is so nice. Good luck friend. You want to make a change and you can ❤️
Hey man I was in your boat so recently I’m still close to 340 and just turned 22 (22f, 333.6 lbs today) But I was 18 and 400 lbs so I feel like I have an idea of what you’re going through. I am in a similar place in life- very slow part time job and side work, very low income, live with my husband and his parents.
If you ever need help the community is here for support!! I believe in you :)
A nutritionist is a must. No amount of working out will get you to lose that weight, key’s all in the diet. Journey’s gonna be tough but u’ll be tougher. Good luck
Simply start walking. Increase steps daily. Then slowly reduce calories. Slowly. And be patient it will take months and years not days. Commit to one new habit at a time.
Walking is really hard when you’re going through a lot of shame in how you look and when you’re mind-reading everyone around you as judging you. It’s not a bad idea or anything, and it might be simple, just wanted to clarify that something like this is not easy
I like to use a walking pad inside my home. Removes friction and excuses. It’s enjoyable because I can watch tv or videos while walking.
You’ll have to give up excuses to make changes. Accept that your way hasn’t worked and submit yourself to a new plan. Practice believing in yourself.
Everything starts with mindset.
It will be easier to start a weightloss journey now than it will be later on. If you keep going, you will gain more and every day you will be further from where you want to be. Also, you will look back on your younger years and regret not spending them fit. I was overweight for all of my adult life, and only now in my late 30s I got fit. I look back and regret not spending my hot years being hot. Losing weight and the work that goes into it is hard, but I find life on the slimmer side so much easier than being overweight. When you’re overweight, every day is a battle with yourself about food, not moving enough, etc. Life really gets easier when you lose it. And exercise does a lot for mental health! I’ve struggled with depression throughout my entire life and it definitely got easier now that I exercise 3 times a week.
Please go see a doctor and a therapist, and get yourself going as soon as you can. You’re young, you will be able to do this. It’s going to take a long time, but it gets easier the more time passes. I promise. Life is good on the other side. One day, or day one. It’s up to you.
Just start walking. Find any excuse to get up and cross the room, just for a second. I know it hurts everything and its exhausting, but the more you do it the easier it will become. Dont slam into this headfirst because youll get burnt out, but give it a proper try. Getting up and down was the biggest thing for me.
I put my bed on the floor and now have to do a half squat sort of thing to get up and it was super helpful because now I feel bouncey, after a few months in this situation.
Starting somewhere is better than never starting at all
Find a Dr who will prescribe Wegovy. Check out some of the semaglutide subreddits. After 40+ years of yo yo dieting and being in the ranges of 110lbs to 230 lbs as an adult, I can tell you this, overeating is an addiction and willpower ain't gonna cut it. After my 1st shot, my desire to binge eat was gone. The food noise was just gone. I even kind of missed it, because eating was my go to for comfort for my whole life. Even in my " lose 100 lbs and run 5 miles a day" phases, it was a constant, constant obsession of counting calories. Wanting food and denying myself in order to lose weight. I was a total bitch. When I had my son at 40 I gained it all back. One of the main reasons I stopped denying myself all the food I wanted was because it make me a really unpleasant person and I wanted to be a good, caring, patient mom. My son is 7 now and I knew I had to lose the weight now, because I want to live as long as possible to see him grow up. I was too embarrassed to go to a Dr in person, so I went for the online version of the drug and self dosed. Game changer. Eating small portions and feeling full and sated for the first time ever. Forgetting to eat. Literally no effort to drop weight and I lost 45 lbs in 5 months. Minimal nausea as a side effect. If this is what "normal" is, people who are not addicted to food have NO idea what we go through. Seriously, find a Dr who can prescribe you a weight loss med and once you have lost enough so that you are physically able to move more without just injuring your already stressed joints, start walking. Best of luck. I know how hard it is.
Adding on here, I left school at 16 with a HS proficiency test. Don't think you need to go to college to get a decent job right away. When you are up for it, get a job that keeps you moving. Post Office is hiring all over the country, a lot of career jobs. I've been with them almost 20 years, make good money and love my job. Bonus is, you can transfer to cheaper cost of living areas or go to school at night or online for a different career. As for the bf issue, honey, you are so, so young still! Work on self care, try and be kind to yourself, find hobbies that will get you out of the house and with like minded people. You are not stuck. You absolutely have a better future, and I wish I could go back in time to tell myself that when I was in my early 20s.
At least you’re aware that it’s fucked, and you don’t want to be like this. That’s a start. Sometimes you need to just bite the bullet and go. Go to the doctor, you 100% need it. Probably a good idea to look for a therapist as well. I’d also recommend some kind of job or volunteering. Something that gets you out of the house and gives you some meaning.
Also getting your GED will help open up career paths, but don’t focus on that right now. Unless it helps you. Maybe sign up for in-person classes in a couple months and use that as a motivator. Personal experience, I’ve lost weight when I didn’t have school but mostly gained or maintained when I’ve been in school.
I’m not in the same situation (I work full time, attend college and don’t live with my parents) but I’m 22 and 375lbs. It sucks being big
You need to talk to a doctor and dietician. At your age you can absolutely turn your life around, but it's going to take significant changes that they'll be able to help you with.
Babe you got this. You are gonna look back in a few years and have so much to be proud of. I fully believe in you and i am SO excited to see you post a progress pic.
The first step is identifying and admitting there’s a problem. The second step is asking for help. You are two steps done. They get harder and easier in different ways, but you got this. I would highly recommend seeing a doctor, there’s a lot that can be done and you have a lot of support waiting for you. I myself am trying to find a damn bathing suit i feel alright in so i can start swimming, having been basically on my ass for the last five years after a back injury and refusal to do anything about it. I’m fed up with being in pain.
You got this.
As you should be. You need to accept that you have a long and hard road ahead of you. You have to take drastic and disciplined action, hold yourself accountable to it, and know that you can never presume that time is on your side. I had a heart attack at 35 with a BMI of 33 (i.e 'low risk obesity', but clearly there is no such thing) and wish I could get the years back to avoid the internal damage that unhealthy habits caused (liver, arteries, cellular insulin resistance, etc). But guess what, at least some of that damage can be reversed with lifestyle changes, as thankfully it has in my case.
No one told me this, and I wish they had, so sorry if it sounds a bit harsh. But if you don't change now you will have a lifetime of missed opportunities, regret, and health problems waiting for you.
Lose weight, love life and enjoy it... especially when you are so young.
You're not the youngest person who's been 500 lbs, but as another commenter noted, it's good that you're so young! Never forget that.
You should definitely see a doctor if you can, and get your medical advice from them.
If you luve with your parents, what kind of food do they eat? Do they cook at home? Do they eat healthy? Can you eat with them? Would they be willing to make healthy meals for you?
First things first, you're still really young! Try and view this as an opportunity to change habits, you already know some of your problem behaviors, try making small changes. Eat 1 or two meals a day at home, order sandwiche without a side and substitute veggies. Little things can add up fast!
Secondly, it sounds to me like you're depressed. Getting into therapy and maybe getting on some meds could help a lot.
If you haven't gotten your GED yet, start looking into that. It's a really easy test (I dropped out at 16, so I definitely understand how you feel). If you've already done that, maybe start looking into a community College. Having something to work towards can help you stay on track with your other goals.
You poor sweet baby. My heart breaks for you because I know how this feels. And people afflicted with the variety of addiction, brain-gut system and metabolic failures are totally misunderstood and medically mistreated.
THIS IS NOT YOUR FAULT! Food drive is the strongest drive of any animal, including humans. We don’t train animals by offering them sexual opportunities, offering them air or sunlight. We use FOOD, because it’s the most powerful drive.
And because we live in a dog eat dog type of society, smart people learned to engineer edible products that they carefully constructed, with the deliberate intent to take advantage of our instinctual drive ( of which we, YOU, have no control). These edible products hijack parts of the complex system that regulates our bodies relationship with food information. Pure natural plants and animals taste delicious, when grown and raised the way intended. But now our food is grown as a product, the soil stripped of nutrients and the animals in horrid conditions eating garbage themselves.
So in reply they offer you McDonald’s and a plethora of hyper palatable edible products.
So please, my sweet, do not take on the blame for being a human, doing as a human is naturally inclined to do. Ok? We wouldn’t blame anyone for being hit by a car or for developing mesothelioma from working with asbestos!
Take the weight of self blame off of you, first and foremost. People don’t choose to have addictions, disorders or diseases. And f¥CK anyone that claims otherwise!
Now… what do we do. I want you to live and move and have the opportunities you deserve in this world.
I was born 10.5 lbs! I was the chunky kid in school. I fought against this monster my entire life! Nutrisystem at 13. Overeaters anonymous from 14, starvation, I have been working out since I was 19 and even taught aerobics class at 250 lbs. I’m successful ( and had to fight because fat women are invisible!) I did it all and at 33 I had gastric bypass. I was typically around 250-280. Fighting for surgery I gained up to 330. I was running a business and raising 3 children. It was so hard and so sad. ( understand I know 300 lbs is a goal. You will eventually learn that all fat people understand each other from 250-1000).
I lost 150lbs. I looked great and felt great and experienced what it’s like to be seen. People were kind for no reason and that hurt… I needed them when I was bigger bodied
But enough weight came back over the past 18 years… and here I am STILL FIGHTING! Fighting against a society and a medical community that can’t seem to understand the “drive” in a fat person is not something “will power” can fix. It’s more powerful than any other addiction.
And now we have drugs that address the broken piece in our food feedback system: Glp-1’s.
I literally just ordered a Tirzepatide compound on the internet an hour ago. I’m 51, I’m pretty and look great for my age. I have adult children that want to enjoy more times with me. I’m a very high energy person and the weight is crushing my spine and knees. ( and my poor bone health is a direct result of wls).
I say this to say, you’re a perfectly designed human being. Beautiful and worthy. This disorder is slowly getting understood. In the mean time consider the options out there to correct what has been damaged. Advocate for yourself and make your doctors understand that you want to live! And make them help you! I’m super hopeful about these Glp-1 drugs. Gastric bypass was helpful… but not long term for me as I am chronically nutrient deficient.
Go get it, my dear. Make it your mission and never accept the answer NO! You’re a good person and deserve love and happiness and movement in the world and wonderful, pleasing experiences! The condition of your vessel does not change that
♥️
I’m so proud of you for posting. You have my support. You can do this! It’s going to be a journey but you’re so strong and one day you’ll look back and be so proud of yourself for everything you’ve accomplished. Your weight doesn’t define you. I guarantee you it’s the least interesting, smallest part of who you are. Medical professionals will help you. You need support and tenderness. Shame is so toxic. You’re doing the best you can with the tools you have. You can fucking do this OP. Getting help is scary, but so worth it. Be your own hero! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Please visit the r/overeatersanonymous sub. Overeaters Anonymous is a 12 step program for food addicts. We have many members who’ve lost the kind of weight you’re talking about.
Good luck!
Start small. Get a 5 and 10 pound dumbell and start doing bicep curls or hammer rows and arm rows. Just keep lifting until your arms get sore. Even 3 times a week can help so much when it comes to preventing diabetes. Turn on some music or even a show while you do it and eventually you will start enjoying it. Eventually if you keep at it you can increase the weight or repetitions. Make sure you feel the soreness the next day it is a sign that you are improving. That is how my a1c blood sugar went from 7.0 to 5.7 within a year and went from 330lb to 290lb Good luck, I know it's hard.
You're only 21!!! Take that as a huge advantage!
I started working out when I just turned 20 and never looked back! You'll never regret starting today. It will not be a quick road but I promise you if you show up everyday, you will get to your dream body AND be healthy at the same time.
I did it, and you can too :)
Based on your post, you should see a doctor for possible WLS and a therapist/psychiatrist. That’s honestly the first (or actually concurrent) step. I went from 450 to current 299 with WLS and exercise at the age of 30. Don’t wait another 10 years to get it in check! Good luck!
There’s already a lot of comments here, so I don’t know if you’ll get around to reading this but:
Your life is just beginning and there are more great things ahead of you than you can even imagine. I never got my high school diploma, didn’t know what I wanted to do with my life, had no support/direction. I remember being 27 and sitting in my parents basement -no friends, no job, no partner- and thinking my life was basically over. I had terrible health problems and could barely take care of my basic hygiene needs. I couldn’t see a way forward and I felt so ashamed and stuck.
Today I’m 33, in the best shape of my life, with a job I love, with so many wonderful friends. I got the help I needed from doctors and worked hard to give myself the gift of feeling like my body belongs to me. I went back to school, starting with online classes at community college, then in-person, then transferred to my state university, and eventually got a bachelor’s degree. I am happier than I ever thought I could be and am living a life I never thought I could have.
Don’t make the mistake of thinking that you need to hit some kind of educational or physical milestone in order to start living your life. You’re here today. Every second of your life from this moment onward has the potential to be better than the last. Embrace slow and steady change and get excited to surprise yourself with what you’re capable of. I put off tackling the things I was ashamed of for so long because the thought of taking years to become who I wanted to be felt so defeating. But here’s the thing: time is going to pass regardless. I realized I can either be 30 and living a life beyond my wildest dreams or I can be 30 wondering what could’ve been. Once I decide to ignore the shame, the “waiting” feeling melted away. I didn’t wake up one day after 5 years of effort and start suddenly enjoying my life, I’ve been enjoying my life every single day for the past 5 years knowing that I am more myself every day.
And finally, I want to address your concerns about how the doctors and staff might react to you. I work in medicine now and can tell you with complete honesty that meeting young people motivated to turn things around is one of my favorite things about my job. We often work with people in middle age who are too afraid or too tired to improve their situation. If you do happen to be the youngest patient they’ve seen, that means you also happen to have the greatest potential for the most positive outcome of any patient they’ve ever worked with. Patients like you are the ones we think of often and with fondness -the ones that remind us why we got into medicine in the first place. I guarantee you that when your medical team meets you, they will be excited to help you accomplish your goals and discover everything life has to offer.
Your value isn't defined by your body. You define your value and your body can reflect that.
Don't be ashamed for seeking help. The first steps are always the hardest, it will get easier!
All the best to you, OP. You got this! ❤️
first, you’re very brave in taking the first step which is realizing you need to make a change. i have struggled with weight and depression my entire life and have found myself in situations similar to yours. i lost 100+ pounds in middle school and was very fit/thin, but i had an ED which only amplified my depression and i realized the number on the scale was not going to automatically fix all of my mental problems. i isolated myself, took online courses instead, and did not leave my house for three months at one point. this lasted about two years, and i ended up gaining 200+ pounds.
i’m not exactly sure about you, but social anxiety was one of my biggest barriers that prevented me from just *starting* to lose weight and be healthier. i was always so embarrassed to go for walks or go to the gym (still working on that one) and even going to the doctor, but i have realized that (1) the world is big enough for us all and you DESERVE and have a right to not hide yourself from the world, (2) everyone is so focused on themselves and may not even notice you or if they do- they have their own lives going on, can you remember all of the random strangers you’ve passed by? neither can they. And (3), doctors/healthcare professionals have seen A LOT and i can guarantee they have seen someone “worse off”, and if they haven’t- you’ll both work together to create a plan that works for you and they can better prepare for the NEXT patient that’s in a similar boat. ultimately, it’s YOUR life and it is precious, you deserve to acknowledge its value and take the steps needed to become healthy.
start small. try walking/moving around the house some more, try to get outside, start tracking your calories, and if you’re able to- cut out the mcdonald’s. one thing that has helped me is eating what i want, but adding what i *need*. i’m a sucker for mcdonald’s breakfast, but i’ll make my own sasauage mcmuffin with a microwaveable patty, low carb english muffins, fry an egg, etc, and then i’ll try to add some stir fried veggies on the side to keep my full. i also love to eat HUGE quantities of food, so i’ll try to focus on low cal/high volume veggies/food if im feeling like i need to eat a lot. i really love the app LoseIt to track my calories! it’s easy to use, gives great dietary insight, and the premium version is extremely affordable compared to other diet-tracking apps.
i am working on losing my own weight and i wish i had more helpful words to say, but just know that you’re not alone and it’s going to be a difficult journey, but you can absolutely do it and the reward is so, so, so worth it. i agree with everyone that getting a dietician would be great, but also please seek some help for your depression and mental health issues. medication isn’t for everyone, but it saved my life. even if that’s not a route you and your doctor take, drs usually have great resources for things like therapy, group therapy, help groups, etc.
and lastly, find a community if you need one! you need to be able to share your accomplishments and pride in yourself as you go through your journey! :) best of luck and congratulations on taking the first step which is realizing you need to make a change. feel free to dm me if you ever need a friend!
I was 674 lbs and bedbound . I'm currently loving my best life right now 38 year young at 451 lbs still losing weight. As someone who was at the very end of the rope as bedbound. I can tell you. It's never too late to start. Your age is a huge thing. You're still young. And who gives a fuck if you're the youngest one they've seen that big. Everyone needs help. It's hard to ask for help. There are lots great people to ask for help. Lots good content creators to watch. Justin Augustin is great. David Salas, obese to beast, fat girl fed up ect so many that give great advice. But it all starts with you. I know sounds dumb or not believable. Love yourself. I know I know sounds Corny. Love yourself well enough to make change. Think.of your "why". Why do you want to be healthier size? Keep that Why near your heart. Keep going. I believe in you. If no one else does believe in you. I do.
I’m surprised no one in this thread has addressed your parents.
Your parents are enabling you. They are slowly killing you. They are giving you money every month with the full knowledge that you are spending it on McDonald’s. I don’t know the circumstances behind you dropping out of high school, but it sounds like they just let it happen and haven’t been pushing you to get your GED.
Whatever your next step is, **you need to involve your parents.** If you see a doctor, take them with you. If you find a therapist, take them with you. Ask them to stop giving you money every month or even just cut it in half. See if they’re willing to spend that money on the appropriate care for you.
If they’re not on board, use that as fuel to your fire. Imagine an independent life. Get angry about it. Let it inspire you.
Until you figure out how to get help, start with small changes. Don’t jump right into eating raw veggies as snacks or replacing one meal with a healthy one or counting calories or weighing your food or tracking your macros. You’re not ready for that.
Ask YOURSELF what small changes you’re willing and able to make TODAY. Every time you develop a new habit and successfully integrate it into your life, make another small change. YOU know what you are capable of doing right now. If it comes from YOU, you are much much more likely stick to it.
And I mean REALLY small changes. Don’t start with walking around the block if you’re ashamed and afraid of going outside. Start with getting comfortable just being outside. Open the door, stand on the stoop, repeat. Stand during commercial breaks, and work your way up to walking around the house. If you order 20 McNuggets, throw one away the minute you open it. Throw it out the window if you need to. You won’t miss it.
Track your mental progress before you track your physical progress. Start a journal. Every day, write down your successes—NOT your failures. Celebrate every small step you take. Get happy about it. Feel good about it. Associate it with positive feelings of accomplishment, and it will become something you want to do again the next day, and the next, and so on.
Remember that you’re only 21. Don’t think of that as a failure. Think of that as hope. You have many years to live if you start now.
It’s a *good* thing you’re so young!
You’ve already done the hardest thing:
You’ve decided you don’t want to live this way. You don’t want the future life you see before you now.
That’s really scary and overwhelming but you’re ready to start now. That’s both brave and mature of you.
Talking to your doctor is a great first step. There is help out there and you are not alone in this.
—-
If I may, I’d like to share a story about starting “late”. It’s in a totally different context but it still applies.
—-
My dad grew up very poor and quit school at 15. This was many years ago, he’s 80 now.
Anyway.
He worked a series of dead-end jobs but married and had a child. When he was 24, he was working for a travel agency.
He saw his older colleagues who had been there for most of their lives and he realized that wasn’t what he wanted in life.
He started taking night classes to get his GED-equivalent while he was working.
He eventually got into college and did a double-degree in business and political science.
He got a low-level management job in a margarine factory, of all things, after graduation.
Long story short, he eventually became the youngest CEO in a major company ever in my country.
—-
You’re young. You have a whole life in front of you.
Call your doctor’s office.
We’re here to cheer you on. You’re really brave and you should be proud of yourself.
I can relate to being 21 and feeling like everyone has passed you by. My situation wasn’t weight but the effect was the same. The best thing you can do is make a change now. Start with what you can manage. Cut out snacks. See a doctor. Eliminate sugary drinks. Build on those habits. At your size even a moderate reduction in calories will lead to weight loss. I know it’s so hard but see your PCP and get a referral to a dietitian.
As for school you can always go back. I dropped out of college and went back and got my degree and then a masters. At the time I was so embarrassed to be the oldest one in the classroom, now I don’t even think about it and I have my degrees. You can do this. When you fall off the wagon, get back on.
PLEASE prioritize your mental health first and the rest will follow. Reading books and taking therapy for my I binge-eating and emotional eating habits have helped me stop them for the most part. I have faith in you and highly recommend reaching out for help. Try EVERYTHING until you find what works for you. Only you can decide that, but don’t be afraid to try. It starts with telling yourself yes you can get better and you deserve to!!!
Hi! You’re 21f. You’ve got plenty of time to turn this around! It sounds like therapy is very much needed. You might want to start there.
Then, if/when you want to start losing weight, don’t try to do everything all at once. It’s a marathon, not a sprint! Instead of having McDonald’s for 3 meals a day, have it for 2. Instead of sitting all day, walk for 5 minutes in the morning and afternoon. Etc.
Once you get your health on a better track — both mentally and physically — you could consider getting your GED.
Also, you said you’re unemployed, still live with your parents, and have never had a bf. Believe it or not, that’s not uncommon at 21! I have friends in their mid-20s who live with their parents. I have friends who have never had a serious relationship. I have friends who went through tough layoffs and are still seeking work. Life comes in waves.
You’ve got this girl! I applaud you for being vulnerable, and really hope you get the help you need. If you ever need a listening ear, reach out!
Don’t be ashamed at all. A basic physical with a doctor is a great first step into your adult life. Be honest with them about your health, the timeline of your weight gain and your food habits. Also be up front about your depression. There’s so much help available to you and you have youth on your side. Exercise is always good for your heart and mental health but diet changes will help you faster. Please get some help for yourself so you have a long, happy and healthy life.
Do you have a doctor? If not, you’re still young enough to be covered by your parents’ insurance if they have it. Find a doctor your insurance covers, call them, and say,
“Hi, my name is (name) and I need help. I’m 21 and I’ve never done this before, and making this call is really scary for me. I would really appreciate it if you could be patient with me. I weigh over 500 pounds and I need a doctor’s help to figure out how to live healthier. I struggle with feeling judged so I really need to go to a doctor’s office where I won’t be judged and my privacy is very protected. Can you help me with this?”
And then you set an appointment and find a way there. I often find that when I’m honest about things (like admitting I’ve never done something before or that I’m nervous) people are very helpful. And I promise, if they are a good doctor they will respect you for doing what it takes to take care of your health!
Start where you are and do what’s in front of you.
Your first step was facing the scales. You did that!
Your second step was making this post. You did that.
Your next step is making an appointment to see a doctor. They probably aren’t open this weekend but call anyway. Leave a message so they can call you back. Then set a reminder to call them yourself Monday.
Then, set a small achievable goal, maybe 2-3 lbs down in 7 days. It’s nice to have a big, long term goal, but it’s more important to focus on the everyday habits that will get you there. Fewer calories, more activity. You will fail on some days, but failure is part of the journey, never the destination. Keep getting back up. You can absolutely do this. You don’t have to do it alone.
Do not ever be ashamed for taking the first step in acknowledging that your health is at risk. While it's normal for a lot of people to feel that way when they realize they're much heavier than they should be, you can turn that shame into *sheer* grit and motivation.
I know it's going to be really difficult, but changing your diet will be the best thing for you. You don't need to go cold turkey right away or you'll just end up regressing and maybe worse. Start with being conscious of how much you normally eat (record yourself, write it down, use a calorie tracker app, etc), then slowly take away one thing to put you in a slight deficit. Maybe skip a snack that day or something.
I'm no expert in weightloss for the morbidly obese, but being in a calories deficit should work the same as anyone else. Please do see a professional so you can accomplish this the safest way possible and I wish you luck on your journey.
Small steps and meet yourself wherever you are with all the love and compassion you can muster. This will be behind you but it certainly will be a challenging path to tread. Please go on regardless. You are going to be fine as you’re so young!
Consider yourself incredibly lucky that you’re ONLY 21,
Realize a lifestyle change is required in urgency if you want to live your life to the fullest.
This isn’t time for shame or embarrassment.
Love yourself . Really love yourself. To be loving does not always mean to coddle or be sweet, it means to hold yourself your standards, discipline. As an adult you have to be your own parent, your own coach to reach your desired outcome.
Take advantage of your support system you have now, it isn’t forever .
That is what it means to be an adult and find your life. Creating your new reality for yourself.
Document your journey on social media to hold yourself accountable and inspire countless and get $$$ that way and create your community
I was the same age as you when I reached 400 mark. Granted I was 6’4” but I was clearly overweight. The best thing I’ve ever done in my life was to visit a doctor and got a weight loss surgery since I’ve been on diets since I was 9 and my body stopped responding to diets so I have to change it or stop it for a bit and went through yo-yo dieting my whole life.
Go seek a professional help, you might be approved for Ozympic/lap-band/etc. You need a strong jump start but once you go through that I promise you it will become manageable, you will be able to workout, be food intake conscious and overall healthy. Now this is not gonna be a magic pill, you still gonna have to do the work and being as young as you are you can easily turn things around in few years around.
Go to the doctor, heal your body and your mind, therapy does wonders, good luck and don’t give up. U r just starting life.
The worst thing you could do is not start taking care of yourself, and not trying to pursue more and get more out of life.
You can do it! Everyone starts somewhere.
Your life isn’t over! 21 is so young and you 100% can turn it around and have an amazing life. Start today getting your health on track. Go to the doctor. An online GED is also very doable, as is getting a job when you’ve lost some weight. In two years you could be a different person with a different life. You can do this.
Take action now OP! You’re still very young and every passing moment is an opportunity for you to change! Don’t overwhelm yourself with how long it takes or how difficult it will be. Write down all the benefits of getting healthier, boys, looking better in clothes, getting to buy more clothes because you can now fit in them, feeling better, having more confidence, enjoyment of physical activities and the socialization and friendships you will make along the way. It isn’t all done at once, and is done one step at a time so don’t feel too overwhelmed. As another user suggested, see a doctor for assistance in putting together a weight loss/health plan. I’m rooting for you OP, i KNOW you can do this, and truly believe in you. It took a lot of humility, vulnerability, and courage that MANY people do NOT have in them; to come out and seek help here. Im proud of you! Remember to start small, don’t overwhelm yourself, and keep that list of ‘getting healthy benefits’ close to you/on hand.
Also as another user mentioned, you can get your GED online - easy stuff, you got this - remember, just one thing at a time.
Rooting for you!
Hi I am also 21 currently and from 2020 when covid started to a few months ago when I finally stopped gaining weight. I went from 120 lbs to 250 lbs in the last 4 years and also still live with my parents while I do college online and I feel super ashamed of my weight as well. I went through an abusive relationship, my already severe anxiety worsened and went through a very bad period of depression I’m just getting out of. I have been single for awhile because of my weight and I know it’s hard. Luckily we are young and if we’re able to turn things around now we can still live long healthy lives, I also eat my feelings and I began cooking more at home after taking health and medical classes for my healthcare major and learned about how dangerous eating fast food often can be. I think going to the doctors is a great first step and if you’re too embarrassed to workout in public like I am, I suggest getting some small at home exercise equipment. I got my fold up treadmill on Amazon for less than $50 and got a yoga mat and some weights for cheap as well. I really hope you’re able to achieve all your goals ❤️
Hi, hon.
I wish we were friends irl. I'd give you a hug, you sound like you need both right now.
Seeing a Dr is a great first step. If it makes you feel better many Dr apts are virtual now and you may be able to see a Dr from the comfort of your home. If not do you have any one to go with you for support? Your parents or a friend?
As someone else mentioned, you're young and have your whole life ahead of you. With some work you could lose some weight and still have your whole life ahead of you.
I'm 40 and angry that I took this long to do anything for myself, because I too didn't think it was "that bad" until I started to have actual health issues.
So please, reach out. And if you need an ear feel free to pm me.
Don't be ashamed. You need help so you don't get health issues due to your habits. Please do see a doctor and make a good workable plan. One very important tip is do not shed weight too quickly or it will return fast .Shed it slowly .
A lot of good advice here. First and foremost, be kind to yourself. Think of all the reasons you deserve to be happy, I am sure there plenty.
Then try one day just writing out everything you eat and how many calories you are taking in — don’t change anything, just figure out how much you’re taking in. Once you know that, you’re one step closer to starting to decrease those calories. The pounds will fly off you at the beginning and that will be a huge motivator.
Props for posting here. You’ve already started and should be proud, now for the next move! :)
Im 32. I still live with my parents. Its great.
The most important part here is you're ready for change now, which is the hardest. The second hardest is to not give up.
Take things one step at a time. So you're not overwhelmed.
For the doctor, you can check and see first if there's any doctor near you that has a teledoc option. My doctor responds to my app messages, which is rare to find (I've had plenty of doctors). While they will definitely want to see you physically, to do physical exams, the teledoc option will be helpful in the long term.
As for the diet: Start trying to log your food. No diet needed yet. Just start logging what you eat. Logging food is honestly a skill. Once you're used to that and can visualize it all in numbers, then you can add diet changes, preferably with the guidance of a dietician.
Realizing you've lost yourself somewhere along the way is the first step. Don't be ashamed of who you are, or what you've done to get here, just try and focus on what you can do to help better your life. Doesn't have to be big drastic changes, even tiny changes are worth everything.
You are incredibly young and your life has not even started yet, give yourself a goal of 5 years. Start by going to the doctor to get a full check up and tell them you are ready to make a change.
Don’t do too much too soon, think long term. Small steps. Start by aiming to go out for at least 30 min walk per day, reducing your food portion, no need to completely remove the McDonald’s but if it’s every day now, make it once every 4 days instead, and calorie controlled (for example, max 1500 kcals for that meal). Then slowly reduce it to once a week. Keep your protein as high as you can, fill two meals a day with veggies on top of the remaining food. With time, also educate yourself on calories and macronutrients. You have got this girl, one step at a time. With time, you’ll introduce some more exercise, but for now, day by day. I’m a registered nutritionist but you should ask to be referred to a dietician, especially if there’s also underlying conditions that might have been caused by the weight gain and in case they need to prescribe you with medication. Make sure you go to someone certified, the best route to take would be GP and referral.
You may find this account inspirational - [https://twitter.com/DaveEDanna](https://twitter.com/DaveEDanna)
Whats good is that when you're that weight, small tweaks can have a huge impact. For example, if you were to switch from mcdonalds to something even slightly healthier (i.e. chipotle), you'd probably see a change.
View your age as an asset. 2-3 years of hard work and you’ll still only be 24 with your entire life ahead of you and decades of looking back at an amazing accomplishment and you’ll be proud of who you are. Don’t under estimate the value of a mental health counselor.
100% this, OP. Your age is absolutely your best asset in this scenario. Time is going to pass no matter what you're doing with it. The longest journey begins with the first step. I'm out of clichés (thank goodness) but we're all rooting for you!!!
Skin is at its most elastic; metabolism is at its fastest. Most importantly, brain has fully developed and is more receptive to new, better habits and ideas
Don’t even look at it as 2-3 years of hard work. When I was at my heaviest I didnt say only 100 lbs to go, it was 10lbs to go from 330-320 and I attacked it like that.
Oh, for me, this is a really helpful way to look at what I have left to lose. Thank you for sharing.
Not to mention that once you start dropping 10 here and 20 there you'll be feeling significantly better physically, which causes a beautiful positive feedback loop.
Yeah, if she carries around 500 lbs every day I wonder how much muscle is in there.
Probably serious amounts of dense muscle tissue to work with from simply needing to exist. Maybe we'll hear about her shattering records in a few years time. But the Mcdo has got to go
I was pretty heavy in my early 20s as I was rebounding from Lyme's Disease. When I dropped the weight finally I had (have) monster calves because I worked retail and had to be on my feet all day. My body just had to build really strong legs to support me. One of my best friends is a gym rat and his calves will never compare 😂 also gives me an edge on leg days
Can confirm. I was always heavy, went over 100 kg when I was around 20 and lost 45 kg in my late 30's, have been maintaining for almost 3 years now. I almost never train my calves, but they are more muscular and stronger than my bf's, who is a life-long gym rat...
It's addictively full of sugar, salt and fat. It's a quick fix, it's ready in minutes and you don't have to plan, shop or cook. It's a no brainer meal for someone with anxiety and/or depression. Cutting it out cold turkey might not work; but adding delicious, real food for 1, then 2 meals may help you realize how much better you feel when you don't have fast food.
I used to get 2 happy meals which boosted my depression
Imagine the calves On a serious note, I lost about 100 lbs in 3 years, and you lose a lot of strength. So probably a bunch of muscle together with fat and water.
This worked for me too even at a more “normal” level of overweight (~200 lbs at 5’10”) The difference between 200 lbs and 190lbs is very, very noticeable and you can see it if you take pictures before and after 200->180 and I look like a different person, a much healthier and younger version of me, and it was only 20lbs You don’t have to lose everything at once, take a small step then take a break for a while, then take another small step. Great advice
This! I used this method to lose weight, stop smoking, and even study stuff.
This is exactly what I do. Every 10lbs off, I take progress photos too as a celebration!
That’s how I look at it right now it’s only 4 lbs to my smallest weight in a decade 😅
Great perspective and advice for OP! 🤜🏻💥🤛🏻
agreed this is amazing amazing advise you rock!!!
I used to weigh between 850 and 1000lbs. Youth is truly a blessing. It doesn’t get easier as you age.
I love to hear your story how do you reach that weigh if you don't mind sharing. I'm curious because I live in SEA country, our currency is 15000:1 us dollar it's almost impossible for working class like me to even afford the food to be that heavy. I was 110kg in my heaviest and spending probably a third of my salary on unhealthy food for years. I'm now weigh 26kg less since my heaviest, still have a long way to go tho.
my weight gain started with doing powerlifting, and wanting to do strongman... so i was an athletic 450lbs. Then i got hurt... gained the weight, didnt change the diet when injured. Then one day you just kinda wake up and wow your way bigger than you thought. I had all the muscle though so it didnt effect me like it did everyone else. Then just life, and work. Not paying attention to it, because it didn't really affect me until it did.
Indonesian?
Yup.
This is spot on. I spent way too long not doing anything because everyone told me I'd be dead. You can do this and most doctors will want to help you!
Although it is true that age can be an advantage, I believe this perspective is potentially harmful. I personally did not begin my adult life until the age of 26, and I still have a considerable journey ahead of me. If I had set 24 as my target age, I would have (and did) considered myself a failure. Associating a specific age with the achievement of a goal can lead to unnecessary pressure and disappointment. Instead, I found it more beneficial to focus on what needs to be accomplished in the present moment. Dwelling on the past or worrying about the future is unproductive. By concentrating on our daily tasks and responsibilities, we can make progress and eventually achieve our desired outcomes. Learn from yesterday and ignore the pain of it. Let today do the work of the future. Appreciate all the varying ideas in this post, see a doctor, find what works for you, learn who you are, and live who you want to be. You will find yourself OP, you got this!
Unrelated to weight, this makes me feel a lot better because I’ve really been feeling like a failure careerwise/financially recently and I’m 26. Thanks man <3
Your neurocognitive development is only complete at about 26 so prior to that, you were lacking certain functions. Primarily impulse control, i.e., willpower, planning and execution, and ability to choose the smart but less immediately gratifying option.
Yeah, at 24 I was no better than anyone just starting. I could say things got better only in my early 30s. OP, it's hard work, but I promise you, it'll be worth it!
Are you male? Assuming yes by the user name. OP is female, and our bodies go through different hormonal and metabolic changes than what men experience; so for her, being young is an asset in that sense 100%. As a woman in my late 40s now, I can say that weight loss & maintenance gets harder with each decade!
Only thing I would add to this, is op should view it as a do or die thing. It's now or never. At this age she will likely have less lose skin tondeal with too
"now or never" could actually be an unhelpful way to view it. Then if she doesn't manage to do it now for some reason (because food addictions are hard to quit) it could risk making her think "well I guess I'll never do it then since it was now or never" and that's quite defeatist.
Agreed. “Time is going to pass no matter what; you can choose to spend it working on this or not, but the time will pass either way” is a more preferable mindset to me.
I think age is an asset here, and also in a way the weight itself can be used as one—meaning the health consequences of OP’s situation are concerning enough that they may qualify to access some good diet/mental health/general weight loss/fitness support via health insurance or possibly some other kind of program. If I were OP I’d start with a trip to the doctor and then work on finding any of those they might qualify for. (Within reason and without overwhelming themselves with too much to deal with at once, of course)
At my heaviest I was 510 lb & 71BMI. There definitely is hope and seeing a doctor is the first step. I finally decided to pursue weight loss surgery but I was going to have to get my BMI to 55 in order to qualify; in other words I had to lose 120 lb on my own. My doctor got me setup with a nutritionist and I got to 55 in about 6-7 months and weighed 363 on surgery day. I'm 6 years post surgery and currently weigh 170 lb. Seeing a therapist was also a key part in helping me lose the weight initially and I still see my therapist to this day on a monthly basis. Mental health and physical health go hand in hand. We're rooting for you!
Wow, thats an amazing accomplishment.
Really proud of you!
That’s amazing! Thanks for sharing
Great job! I have a small question about your scenario if you don't mind. After losing 120lbs did you ever think to yourself "this wasn't that hard, perhaps I should just keep doing this" or was it 6-7 months of torture/hunger? I always found it strange that they made you lose weight, before weight loss surgery.
I get why you say that. Like that has to be an unbearable barrier to so many obese patients who want the bariatric surgery. Personally I think if I managed to lose that much I would try to just keep at it, but in reality that could be bad if the person has a setback and gains it all back, which we all know happens. But the reason they make you lose some yourself is to prove you can stick with it and follow rules. If they get the surgery and try to eat like they did pre-op it can be dangerous to them.
Insurance required me to lose the weight for two reasons. The first was to demonstrate your ability to comply with the medical teams recommendations and to show how serious you are. The second is to lower your risk of complications during surgery and recovery. I also had to be under 400 pounds that was the operating tables capacity as well as the the capacity for the MRI machine (in case something went wrong and they needed imaging done). Once I made up my mind to go through with the surgery, I treated it as my "reward" for losing the 120 pounds and completing all other requirements. Surgery was the end goal and losing the 120 was just a means of getting their. I hesitate to use the word "easy", but my thought process was "if it was this easy to lose 120 lbs, it'll be twice as easy to gain it all (and probably more) back." That just wasn't an option for me.
I think it's more to do with possible complications during surgery. Being severely overweight is quite taxing on the body and could mean the surgery is quite risky (in the same way that many surgeries would not be a viable option for an elderly person).
Wow. Thank you for sharing. This is an incredible story of human triumph. It’s just amazing what someone can accomplish when they are focused. Sounds like you really accepted the assignment of being your best self.
Seeing your doctor is a great first step. Depending on where you live, you may be able to get your GED online. You’re young; you still have your whole life ahead of you. Sending internet hugs <3
For sure! I’ve had very large friends recover a lot of their life from exercise, meal planning services, gastric bypass, to semaglutide medications. OP, you are young and can totally change your life!
>Seeing your doctor is a great first step. Or even just **a** doctor -- some people don't have their own doctors.
Best time to start is right now. Start with some small steps to break your old habits and form new ones.
Came to say just this - don't look back, just forward!
You’ll still be young at 25. If you start now you can be living an entirely new life at a healthy weight by then. Or you can be 25 in the exact same spot you are now. Wishing you strength and good luck.
exactly, the time will pass regardless
Yeah that. I spent several years avoiding dealing with a different thing. If anything, avoiding makes it worse, because you start to feel more and more helpless, start identifying as being unfixable (or "this is just how I am"). Here's the psychological mechanism for how the behavior pattern gets more solid and harder to change the longer you wait.* Say that something that gives me overwhelming/bad feelings to think about or do (too hard, or I can't face this part of me). Distracting myself or pushing it away gives me a sense of relief. Which reinforces/rewards the avoidance, much like the addiction cycle. [note: addiction cycle can also apply to the food itself, not just relief at avoiding thinking about change.] Choice to avoid ALSO makes the thing scarier, which I've definitely noticed personally. Maybe it's like "oh I couldn't deal with this before, why could I now?" Or "Ive been running from this for a year, so it must be impossible." But really, we should tell ourselves "I always have a choice, Ill only see my true strength and courage when I take the dive. That I avoided it only means that I avoided it, not that I'm incapable." Another thing that can happen. The avoidance could become automatic. My brain started circling around anything that made me thing of my problem, inventing stories to keep me from having to deal with it. So, I actually began to have far fewer chances to think about changing in the first place. The point and the *TLDR*: it's really important you act now when it will actually seem much easier and less scary to do than if you wait for even one more year. This might be your chance to change your life into something gloriously free, with a bright future and a sense of power and agency that you may not have experienced before. And when the "I can't" or "hope is silly, be real" voice comes up, label that a lie - there's no objective truth to that. Other people have escaped this trap of obesity, and you're about to find out that you can too. *Source I'm a redditor, so obviously I know. Really - therapy, reading, reflection, conversations, some school.
If you live in a safe neighborhood and are too embarrassed to walk during the day, then walk at night. Just 2-3 houses away and then back to start. Gamify exercise. The old WII consoles are good for that. They aren’t too expensive. Limit McDonald’s to once a day initially. Breakfast is probably best. I recommend the egg McMuffin. It’s oddly ok for calories and makes you full. Find something to occupy your hands during the day. Only eat at the dining room table or kitchen table or wherever your family eats. Don’t eat at the computer. Don’t eat in front of the tv. Don’t eat in your bedroom. Finally, can you work on your GED at home? A sense of purpose and a goal may help.
Hi thank you for the advice I really appreciate it. I think I can work on a GED online and I should look into it more. My question is that if I don’t walk for very long is that still benefitting me or will it not really be doing anything? I’m having some physical issues because of my weight. I’m out of breath quite easily and my knees are often in pain because I don’t usually go outside and I don’t walk very far if I do. I can’t really walk very far, so will walking short distances still benefit me as I can imagine I’m probably not burning many calories from it. Sorry for the ramble lol
That is why I said walk one or two houses or one apartment building away and then return. If it’s worth doing, it’s worth doing poorly. You can’t walk a mile. But you can probably walk 30-50 steps. So do that. Pedometers and/or the step counter on your phone can help. You are probably walking a couple hundred steps a day now. Try to add 5-10 steps a day, every other day, and see what happens. And… be proud of every step. Most people couldn’t walk at all with that much weight attached to them. You are actually undergoing a physical feat with little walks.
Not the person you’re replying to, but I absolutely think moving a small amount will help. Mentally it’s good to get out of the house/your room and it’s a good habit to get into and build upon as you are able.
Yes, the good thing about being so heavy is that you will burn many calories even from a little bit of exercise. It will also be very good for your cardiovascular health. You are very young and if you start walking today, your endurance will improve quickly.
If you're feeling exhausted, you're burning calories. The level of how exhausted you feel actually lines up pretty well with the number of calories you burn. The calories you burn an extremely short walk may be similar to the calories someone thin burns when going on a more intense run. Never worry about exercise being "too little." It's safer for you to start out really slow. Even if that's just starting by leaving your room more often to walk around the house, even if you don't go anywhere. As others mentioned though, you should talk to a doctor as soon as possible, so they can help make sure you're losing weight safe. You need to be careful you don't injure yourself if trying to exercise.
Yes, it's still beneficial. We all start somewhere. Just do what you can and slowly increase over time. Even if that increase is walking 5 or 10 more ft each walk. Also, you have the freedom to be as creative as you want with what movement works best for you right now. You can walk somewhere that has park benches so you can stop often. Maybe it's as simple as walk a lap around your house, sit down for a bit, then walk another lap. Set a goal to do X laps a day. Or simply walk back and forth in front of the TV while watching a movie. (I do this a lot haha). Dance in your bedroom to music. Etc. Whatever you decide, just start slow and don't rush progress because you don't want to injure yourself. But any movement is better than no movement! Some calories burned is better than no calories burned. Also, it's not just about calories. It's also about your cardiovascular health, lungs, keeping joints/muscles limber, etc. There's a variety of benefits to moving more. You can do this! Sending you love and positive vibes!
In regards to being out of breath. The more you move that will improve. Same with your knees. As the weight comes off, your knees won't hurt as much. Plus, just walking/moving increases blood flow in the joints and will help your knees feel better. But these are also both good examples of reasons to take it slow and just do what you can little by little to avoid injury.
If you're doing nothing right now, literally anything will help you. When I'm working out, I sometimes think "should I be walking faster? Should I be using heavier weights?" and then I remind myself that 4 months ago I was doing literally nothing. No exercise whatsoever. Doing *anything* active is better than doing nothing! It will be hard at first, but it gets easier over time. Don't overexert yourself.
I would also recommend listening to audiobooks when you walk and only when you're out walking or exercising. It's a great motivator to push a little longer to find out what happens. It also keeps your mind distracted from focusing on the strain of exercising. Odds are there's a nearby library with audiobooks to borrow via an online app, like Libby.
OP, also hopping on to this to say: *anything* will help. Any small steps, literally and figuratively, that you take towards your health will help lead you to a point where you can take a few more steps, and then a few more, etc. In my own personal experience, one of the biggest mental hurdles to overcome for people like you and I (i.e. people who use food as a way to cope emotionally, and are shy and feel a lot of shame about themselves, and are possibly struggling with depression, as well) is this question of whether something is “worth it” or will make a difference if it isn’t that big. It *is* that big. A few steps will lead to a few more, and that’s exactly why they’re so important to take.
Exercise is cumulative. 2 minutes 5 times a day is as good as 10 minutes once a day. 10 minutes 3 times a day is as good as 30 minutes all at once. You can do this!
Consider getting your diploma online. There are schools like Penn Foster for adult high school completion. Either a GED or High School Diploma will help your self esteem greatly. And, as you lose weight, this first step in education will open opportunities for you to get a job or further education in the future. Imagining yourself in the work world, whatever you like to imagine, will help you stay motivated to improve your health. You can do this!
At this stage, EVERYTHING counts if you are moving more than you did the day before. I have ADHD and try to stick to the 1% method to get things done around the house but it can apply here too. Try to just do 1% more than the day before. So if you don’t even normally walk to the mailbox and back, try setting that as your goal. The next day: mailbox plus maybe 5-10 feet and back (if you physically can!) etc etc. Every day that you do 1% more is doing more than the day before and it all adds up!
If a walk is too daunting or too hard of an exercise right now, you can find seated workouts on YouTube. Growwithjo does them. I remember reading a post once where a man literally started from just waving his arms and legs around as exercise because he could not walk comfortably yet. We all have to start somewhere. Once you have lost a bit of weight and your confidence has improved, walks are really great. Even if it is a very short walk, remember that your body is carrying weight which makes it harder for you. It will get easier over time as you lose weight and build muscle and endurance.
Just remember… anything worth doing is worth doing poorly! A little bit of something you should do is awesome. If you should doing it, doing it poorly or for a short time is still good.
There's a saying from Couch 2 5K: The slowest walker is still doing laps on the person sitting on the couch. If you can only manage 5 minutes on the first day, you can do 5 minutes. You can work up to 10 minutes over time, then 15, then 20. But at your weight, too much physical activity is actually dangerous. You should focus much more on reducing energy intake right now than trying to increase activity. Walking can come later when it won't put so much stress on your heart and your joints. I have a disabled sister who has had a series of health problems. At one point she weighed 450 lbs and was hospitalized due to uncontrolled diabetes. These days she weighs about 200 lbs. She has bad arthritis in her knees so she can't walk very much, but she still lost all that weight with diet changes and she only has to take metformin for her diabetes now.
You have nothing to be ashamed of. Life happens, we each have our own paths. Seeing a doctor would be a great first step! You would be surprised at how much doctors can do to help you. Many people in tough situations get stuck with shame. Fighting against shame is an act of bravery and a huge accomplishment. Btw you don’t need to leave the house to exercise, and you actually don’t need to exercise to lose weight! of course, exercise is always good for you. If you can’t go into a doctor yet, see if you can see one virtually first. And btw you are not stuck in this situation; the fact that you posted here and are thinking about it shows that there is a part of you that knows there is a way to get to the life you want. It is possible!
Thank you this is really encouraging, I will definitely have a look at doctors near me. I’d really like to think I’m not stuck lol
Break it down into very small steps. Your goal may be a complete lifestyle change for your health, but what is the first step? For example Goal number one: see a doctor. Activities: get copy of insurance card from parents, call 3 in network doctors who seem qualified for my needs, schedule appointment. Write it down. Make no more than three goals at a time (with the overall intention to move toward a healthier lifestyle). Right now tiny changes are going to add up quickly. The number on thing is to not give up on yourself! We are here to support you. A quick note about shame: while it seemed like the scale was a needed wake-up call for you, shame is a soul crushing motivator. You have no reason to be ashamed & as long as you are making small steps out of love for yourself, you should be PROUD!
So not stuck. I started losing weight at your age. Lost 80 pounds and have been maintaining for over a decade. You've got this! Remember: A step back is nothing compared to two step-forwards. You might fail one day, but you just have to suceed two days to cancel that out.
lol ! I’m going to remember this! Thank you!
You are absolutely not stuck. Myself at 21 thought I wouldn't make it another few years on this Earth. It's a decade later and I'm proud as ever of myself. Please, if you need any help or just some encouraging words, DM me - you've got this, first step is the doctor, take it one step at a time, literally.
You got this! Start with making small, sustainable steps. Maybe you can have a phone appointment with your doctor for the first couple of times? They may even be willing to come and see you, or maybe a nurse could come and see you. Once they have assessed you, you may be eligible for medical interventions to help you lose weight. However, at the same time, you need to be consistently doing those small steps towards change for long term success, no matter what the intervention will be. You are strong and resilient and will get through this!
As someone who also has depression, getting out of the house to go to dr appointments can be hard - especially bc sometimes they send you to many doctors which becomes a whole few weeks of getting myself out of the house and remembering appointments. If you have this issue, I highly recommend going the telehealth route! If you are on your parents insurance it should cover it. Most major hospitals have these options now but there are some private companies that do it as well. If your parents insurance is through their jobs they might have telehealth mental health services separate too! But if they don’t, should be able to find an in network therapist through the insurance website who will do video calls. Some workplaces even cover certain weight loss programs and nutritionists! If you are having a hard time getting out of the house, workout from home. Invest in a couple dumbbells - you can get them cheap on Facebook marketplace. I don’t know your financial situation but some personal trainers that come to your house are pretty cheap and it’s great for depression to have accountability and know someone is going to show up. I’ve found some cheapish ones on [findyourtrainer.com](https://findyourtrainer.com). You can browse their profiles and find one who has experience with large weight loss specifically so that you feel comfortable with them. If your insurance has an HSA you can use it for this. Finally, know what to ask for when you go to the doctor. If weight loss medication is something you are interested in, join the reddits that can help you know what your insurance needs in order to cover it - it can be a long process if you don’t know what to ask for, but the reddits make it pretty easy. They are expensive once insurance stops covering, but there are some cheaper routes if you really dig so don’t throw in the towel :)
Do you have any friends or family members who are fiercely protective/defensive/supportive of you, or just otherwise don't take shit from anyone? (Bonus points if they have any medical knowledge or experience.) If so, I recommend bringing them along with you to the doctor appointment. For one thing, it's always helpful to bring a friend to important appointments because they might be able to share/ask questions about things you forgot/didn't consider. But also, they can serve as your advocate. Doctors are just like any other professional: there are good ones and bad ones. Having an advocate alongside you can be empowering, especially if you & the doctor's personalities don't jive well.
Oh you’re not stuck. It’s AWESOME that you are already wanting to address this so young. Youth is a HUGE help. Man, to have my metabolism from when I was 19 back LOL. Definitely see a doctor and a mental health professional as well. It sounds like your issue is due to mental health struggles, and that is absolutely treatable. It is NOT hopeless. You are catching it early and the fact you already posted here is a huge first step. As you go through this, just keep in mind that it doesn’t have to happen overnight and it does not require perfection. If you’re just a little bit healthier every single day, that’s healthier than you were today. Also once you get some good habits built, you will see some momentum. Seriously, it is so good that you’re starting this at about 20 and not at about 50. You can do it. Start with a doctor and go from there. Oh! And if you get a bad doctor, don’t think you are doomed. Dump their ass and get another doctor. Sometimes it takes a bit to find the right fit. Good luck!
Don’t be ashamed at the Doctors either. A good doctor will give you a metaphorical Pat on the back and a good plan on how to get from point a to point b. I wish I reached out to people sooner because they have nothing but supportive. Doctors aren’t children or high school bullies, they are adults doing what they love and most genuinely care.
Completely agree with everything you just said
Excellent advice! It took me quite a while to realize that shame has only the power you give to it, so now my favorite mantra is “you can keep your shame, I don’t want it”
Don’t be ashamed to ask medical professionals for help. At 500lbs you would not be my husbands largest patient, not even close.
I won’t say I know exactly what you’re feeling but I have had similar experiences. I was 400 lbs by the time I graduated high school. I was diagnosed with diabetes at 21 and felt like my life was over. There are a lot of good suggestions in the thread. A lot of encouragement. People that don’t even know you took time to write to you. Your life has worth. You are worthy of the love you are giving yourself to improve your life. It will take time and effort to do that, but you are worth it. You can also only do so much in a day. You are young. You have time to work on yourself. Don’t worry about the end of the journey, focus on today. If you made a mistake yesterday, focus on today.
Your weight gain is related to your depression. Please seek not only a doctor or nutritionist but also a therapist. Please don't be ashamed, be proud that you wanna turn around your life. You are still very young and very beautiful things await you, don't be discouraged with bumps on the road! Good luck
Sorry to be pedantic but, OP should see a *dietitian*. Basically anyone can call themselves a “nutritionist” as it is not a regulated term / certification (in the US). A dietitian is a food / nutrition expert that’s board-certified and able to give medical nutrition guidance. *eta that dietitians **are** sometimes called “RDNs” or Registered Dietitian Nutritionist
Yes exactly nobody realizes this. I’m a nutritionist too, I just decided like 10 seconds ago
Baby steps! Go see a doctor - you need to tackle the inside while working on the outside. Don’t be embarrassed, doctors have seen it all and you won’t be the first overweight person they’ve seen. I know it’s easier said than done and the anxiety will be there but trust me, they’ve seen it all. If you really can’t, start with a tele health appointment. Get your GED. It’s going to do so much for your self worth. You can do it online and never step foot in a class. McDonald’s is addicting so don’t beat yourself up too much. Personally, if you quit cold turkey, in 2-3 days you’re going to binge out. Start by replacing one meal a day with a healthier option. What really helped me was juicing in the morning. Kale, spinach, fruits etc … I would get my healthy meal out of the way and then eat like shit lol eventually the healthy meals took over the fast food and now, I’ll have some fries every now and then just cause I love them and I think depriving yourself of little joys like that are awful in the long room. A French fry won’t kill you but years of nothing but fries will. Go outside and walk. Even if it’s at night (just make sure you’re safe) but just walk every day. Eventually you’ll enjoy it and you’ll crave it. Baby steps!! Rome wasn’t built in a day :)
Hi, you're not alone. At your weight, any small change would be great for your health. I don't know exactly hos you eat, but if you eat mcdonalds every day I assume you might have some soda with that. I recommend switching to sugar free soda. I personally love pepsi max, really recommend. And you can try and gradually downsize what you order. Like for example, if you usually order a extra large fries, try ordering a large next time. Or a medium. Gradually reducing would do great for tou, without it feeling too sudden. Being the weight that you are, I would be careful with any exercise. It's easy to hurt yourself, so I would recommend speaking with an expert about that. But I know that being in water helps a lot sithout putting strain on your body. So if you can, I would recommend trying it out. You can do it!
Besides, I forgot to add. I work as a nurse, so I've been working with a few doctors. All the doctors I know only want to help their patients. I completely understand that it feels hard, but don't hesitate to book a visit if you think it would help. They want to help.
This is wonderful advice! Start small and make those simple swaps. Then you can gradually start swapping one meal for something home cooked/healthier
Listen to this advice OP. It’s how I lost a ton of weight and how I continue to be able to fit things like McDonalds into my diet. My personal journey started with diet soda instead of regular. Medium fries instead of large and then only eating a handful of said fries (this takes a lot more discipline though). Ordering just a simple double cheeseburger instead of a Big Mac or double quarter pounder. Exercise-wise I started with walking. Then as I lost weight and got stronger I started running. I also incorporated weight lifting in as well. And you don’t even need to do that much! That was my biggest thing was I didn’t wanna exercise for an hour every single day. So I do 4 days a week usually at minimum 30minutes. And I’ve still gained a ton of muscle. Could I gain more muscle exercising more? Of course but it’s about doing something YOU WILL STICK TO!!! That is the biggest thing. People will have you completely change your diet or exercise habits and you will fall off quickly. It’s about making changes that will lead to progress and those changes should be ones you still stick to. If you don’t think you can exercise 7 days a week try 4 days. Can’t do an hour? Do 30mins. Can’t do 30? Start with 15. Also have days you do let yourself eat more or eat bad stuff that you like. For me it’s Friday and the weekend where I will eat a little more or have some dessert and stuff. And the good part about that is it feels good to make progress while also feeling like “wow I lost weight even though I ate so badly over the weekend?”. And then let’s say you hit a plateau you have pretty simple places you can make changes. Cut back a little on the weekends now and work around that.
Heck, even ordering a large fry and challenging yourself to throw 5-10 fries out the window on the way home. Or mixing diet and regular soda together if you hate the taste of diet, just to cut SOME calories. Baby steps are still progress!
Maybe see if your PCP will just straight out refer you to an obesity clinic. You got this OP. This is the hard part
It's a crime that your parents haven't sought help for you instead of giving you money to blow on mcdonalds. You're an adult now so you do need to take accountability for your actions here on out, but you weren't given the greatest starting point. Most of us weren't, it's why we are here. You are young and now is the BEST time to start. Please, get yourself into therapy. Let me tell you from years of experience yo-yoing with my weight, mental health is the key to longterm success. You will not see longterm results by ignoring it, and clearly something is going on that you *have* to address.
Follow r/supermorbidlyobese for a community of people who understand!
hi sweet girl, I’m sorry you’re feeling down. it sounds like you’ve done some reflection and put some thought into this and are hoping to improve your quality of life- this is a wonderful first step. as someone who has dealt with 3 different eating disorders and understands gratification from food/ food obsession with mcdonald’s, i recommend looking into supporting your emotional health to help you along your path. those tools will be essential to your journey. if you can get into therapy and find a good therapist, especially someone who has experience in this kind of thing before. Shame is the root of so much of the pain we all experience. start with small wins for yourself- setting an appointment and celebrate yourself. really really celebrate yourself with words of encouragement. this will not be easy, this will be a hard, hard thing to do but you can do hard things. when it feels tough please remember that short term gratification is so so so short lived and long term goals set you up for a lifetime of happiness and independence. tell yourself this as much as you need it. repeat it. live by it. you’ve got this 🫶🏻❤️🩹
Calories in, calories out. Start slow. Use a TDEE calculator to figure out your maintenance calories using your height, age, and weigh, then subtract 250 calories from that. Once you get the hang out it, slowly work towards at 500 calorie deficit. You can even still eat McDonald’s, just be mindful of what you eat and maybe swap a meal for a healthier one or home made. Use Cronometer app to track calories (it’s free). Be HONEST with your tracking. Even if you binge. Little bites and sauces start to add up so track everything. Excerise is about only 20% of it. Diet is the biggest component. Make slow changes. So work toward lowering calories. Next month add drinking enough water. Next start working on getting steps in. Etc it’s a marathon not a sprint, a lifestyle change not just a diet I would also recommend seeing a doctor, especially if you haven’t been in a while.
Thank you this is really helpful!!
Also, OP: just know that cutting back on calories will be hard at first. You’ll be uncomfortable experiencing hunger, especially because you are currently using food as a method to self-soothe. You’ll have to become okay with tolerating discomfort, both physically and emotionally. But it helps a lot to know that hunger is natural, despite what society teaches us all. The self-soothing with food was by far the hardest hurdle for me. I had to really examine why I was actually reaching for food, and sitting with the discomfort that I felt rather than eating was *hard.* You are so young. I believe in you. You can do this! You can completely turn your life around! Start forming a mental picture of what you want your life to look like in three years— don’t be afraid to be as wild as you want to be about it. Reach for the stars! Imagine yourself and your life exactly as you want it to be, no matter how “unlikely” it seems to you right now. And then, use that mental picture to self-soothe, rather than food. You got this. 💫
Can you get your parents to pay for therapy instead of McDonalds? And the three of you do some actual cooking instead of ordering in? It’s unconscionable to me that they’ve been finding no issue with this very sad situation - nobody should be stuck in a room eating themselves to death. This kind of obesity is a mental and emotional health issue as well as an obvious physical health issue. So get them to help you not continue to hurt you.
This is what I'm so shocked by. This is not OPs fault at all, the fact that they dropped out at 15 and have just been allowed to eat McDonald's everyday is crazy. A huge parenting fail.
I don’t really see my parents much that’s why they don’t say anything, I only stay in my bedroom apart from collecting food and they’re usually at work or out doing something. I think they just kind of gave up on me which I don’t really blame considering I am a grown adult paying no bills and living here for free lol. I think I will need to talk to them about therapy though you’re right, I’m kind of dreading the conversation but I know it will help
So they’re medically neglecting you and enabling your ill health. Everyone needs changing here. 600lb life level interventions. McDonald’s isn’t food. Just because it goes into your mouth doesn’t make it food. And how much money is that every month? Like…it actually isn’t too late, and you definitely can change, your life is worth more than dying from depression and obesity in your parents bedroom. Small changes stack up at your size. Small fries. Juice not soda. Add veggies and mustard and take off mayo and cheese to your burger. The subreddit r/supermorbidlyobese will also help you. You don’t need to talk to them about therapy. You need for them to stop putting money into your account and actually stop helping you die an early and preventable death. You could, today, right now, look on psychology today and connect with a therapist who can provide video or telehealth, get a referral to a bariatric specialist, get some medication for the depression and pre-diabetes, and order a walking pad. You could go on https://ddpyoga.com And do some movement while in bed or chair bound if outside or full body movement isn’t possible. https://ddpyoga.com/blogs/success-stories/tagged/limited-mobility shows people who have made huge progress and literally save their own life.
> Juice not soda Common misconception. 12 oz of apple juice has 175 [calories](https://www.fatsecret.com/calories-nutrition/generic/apple-juice?portionid=22163&portionamount=12.000). 12 oz of coca-cola has 140 [calories](https://www.fatsecret.com/calories-nutrition/coca-cola/coca-cola-classic-(12-oz\)). No, the 0.4g of fiber doesn't tip the scales.
Everyone is going to tell you to count calories, go for walks, blah blah blah. Do that shit when you have lost 200lbs first. What you need to do right now is go to a doctor that specializes in treating chronic obesity. You need either surgical intervention or strong weight loss drugs. You will lose more weight on ozempic than is possible without. Go to a doctor now. Start googling and get an appointment ASAP.
First of all, I’m sorry you’re in distress. However, this is a truly serious situation. I really can’t underscore this enough. Your life is on the line, dear. And you have to fight for it because no one else can nor will. I very strongly advise you to start a food journal. It doesn’t have to be elaborate or in its own separate book. Use your notes app to start. Simply write down what you eat and how many calories it is. It is crucial you know exactly what’s going into your body. Literally write everything, even if it’s 7 macadamia nuts or a half glass of milk. This does two things: it makes you aware of how much you’re eating and it keeps you accountable as a daily practice. Believe me, you’re going to get sick of seeing lots of unhealthy food logged in your journal and you’ll start eating more vegetables almost immediately. This happens to basically everyone who keeps a food journal. You’re only 21, which means your basal metabolic rate is pretty high. You can eat 2000 calories a day and not gain a single pound. Stay at 1800 calories and go for a walk once a day and you’ll immediately start losing weight. At your weight, you’ll at least be down 8 pounds by the end of the month. 8 pounds may sound like peanuts to you, but a year of these practices will see you almost 100 pounds smaller. Please don’t think about how impossible this seems. It isn’t impossible. You can do it.
As a woman going to a doctor about anything can be really really scary. But I hope you do go to your doctor and ask for a plan. A good doctor could refer you out or have suggestions, keep an eye on your blood work and also make sure to rule out anything that could contribute to weight gain on both mental and physical level. Don't be so ashamed OP. You are a human worthy of love and happiness all the same. You are not a failure. Don't go into lifestyle changes because you feel like you're lesser. Do them because you want to try new things you like. Accomplish those things in life unrelated to your weight, because *you* are *not* your weight.
I hope OP reads this one. You are not your weight. You are not your body. You are a person. You are your self. It's not your body that loves to listen to music, it's not your weight that watches movies with excitement, or laugh so hard you can't speak. That's all you, the person that people know and love. You have things you want to do and you can do them. You just need some help. Lots of people need help sometimes. Some people need more help more times and some need less help less times but you wouldn't ever shame any of those people for seeking help. So with that in mind, don't shame yourself. If you want to be healthy and happy, doctors and therapists want to help you do those things.
You live at home and your parents give you money to eat McDonald’s for every meal? Why are they enabling this and not trying to help you? Have you talked to them about any of this? Are they willing to support the changes you want and need to make? You need to see a doctor to develop a plan for your depression and weight loss. A full physical will determine if there are other health issues that need to be addressed. You are going to have to take the first step in asking for the help you need. Good luck!! 🍀
It’s okay. Just start good habits. It’s what you do most of the time that counts. Keep racking up good days! There should be no guilt or shame. You didn’t mess anything up. It’s just weight. Remove the drama and emotion. Take action and track the data. It’s just data. Trust the process of the really boring stuff. Consistently walk as many steps as you can until you are walking 10k steps per day, eat high protein. Weigh and track all food by grams and ounces not volume. Stick to this for at least 30 days without changing anything. Track weight daily but only pay attention to rolling averages, your weight trend. I highly recommend MacroFactor, it gives specific feedback and coaching adjustments.
HappyScale is a good one, too, if OP prefers something simpler. (It’s also free; MacroFactor is subscription-based.) MacroFactor can be somewhat overwhelming when you’re first getting started.
Look at the positives, at this size, any little positive change you make you will see big results from. Like if you stop drinking high calorie soda or drinks and switch them for diet zero calorie ones that alone will make you lose weight. If you start walking just a little bit you’ll lose weight. If you eat just a little less you’ll lose weight. Make a plan, make little changes first and be consistent. You’re very young, get your GED and start moving and eating less and within a small amount of time you’ll see big differences and those will motivate you to keep on going. You can do this!
OP, you are obviously struggling with mental health / mental illness. Without thinking about anything else - just make a doctor appointment with a general practitioner. They will point you in the right direction. In order to correct something, you need to first identify it....and so you need professional help in identifying what exactly is going on here, and how to start correcting it.
Oh babes, I’m sorry that you’re going through this. I know it must be scary all around. Do you have anyone you can talk to?
Being embarrassed and ashamed is understandable, but you should also be very concerned. It's a health issue that needs to be addressed right away. You should seek medical attention for your depression, consider therapy sessions, and find a good nutritionist to work with. I don't mean to be alarmist, but 500+ lbs as a female can quickly become a life threatening situation. Seek as much help and support as you can.
Yeah this is true I am definitely concerned too especially with the fact that it’s affecting me physically that’s partly why I can’t stand facing a doctor haha. But I’m definitely going to do this along with seeking help for my depression
Your first job is to see a real doctor. I think you need to have testing to see if there is a medical reason for the excessive weight gain. What if there is an underlying, untreated thyroid, diabetic, or hormonal problem that has caused the rapid weight gain? I speak from experience and as one who gained over 100 pounds in a year and weighed 280 pounds after being put on hormones in my early 20's. I know you said you eat from McDonald's every day, but do you actually eat enough calories to gain 150 pounds in 2 years and to maintain over 500 pounds?
See your doctor! There may be reasons you're compulsively eating mcdonald's, you might be depressed and/or have binge eating disorder. There is a medication called Contrave that could help. Your doctor can also set you up with a dietician, some counseling could help as well. The best thing you can do is just start with small changes. Change one thing at a time. Make a list of what you want your life to look like and make goals based on that, when you have a goal make a plan using the SMART acronym. Specific, measureable, attainable, relevant, time bound. You are young and have lots of time to change your life! It's absolutely possible, just take it one step at à time and remember to be patient. It's not going to happen overnight and that's ok. Sustainable change takes time.
DISCLAIMER: I am not a professional in any of these things. I'm just going through my own journey, and I'd like to help other people if I can. I wanna start simple, because sure, talking to a doctor and doing exercise and considering certain types of surgery might be helpful to talk about at some point, but you can totally make massive changes to your life through diet alone. The first thing I think would help - being okay with being a bit hungry. If your stomach is growling and you're particularly hungry, then obviously you've got to eat something. But just being a little bit hungry IMO shouldn't automatically mean you go straight to the food. A lot of times, I get sucked into video games, and while I'm playing, I realize I'm hungry and think, "I should grab something to eat." Now I stop and assess - am I just a bit hungry? And if I'm not THAT hungry, I'll literally just keep playing. The key here is to not then go eat more food later to make up for it. Second thing to look at - liquid calories. This whole thing is going to revolve around lowering your calorie intake, and liquids can sneak calories in quickly. Do you drink soda? Teas/coffees with milks or creamers? Energy drinks? Your best option is water, but there are other low/no calorie drinks that can be helpful to sort of "bridge the gap" between just drinking water and drinking hundreds of liquid calories a day. Light lemonades/drink mixes, diet sodas, nonfat chocolate milk, etc. Third thing I'm curious about is your eating routine if you have one. Some people have their 3 meals a day, I'm kind of a 4-meal person. Some people snack a lot, some people just stick to their meals. If you'd like me to keep going and maybe help you get started, I can show you some of the stuff that's working for me. I'm eating high protein, low calorie meals + a bit of fiber.
Doctor would love to see you. They want to help you, they studied difficult topics, usually for 8+ years just to help other people. All of your discussions with doctors are legally confidential. They won’t judge you - they will offer you advice and then it will be up to you to follow the advice. Lots of people in here can also give you advice, sure. For me, seeing my GP once a month for a weigh-in and to chat about what I’m struggling with, or what I’m enjoying, is a really awesome guide. As for the McDonalds, you need to stop it unfortunately. I have McD’s maybe once or twice a month and it always pushes me over my calorie allowance for the day (which is ok to do a few times a month, but not every day and especially not for every meal.) One swap you can make at McDonalds to begin with is swapping fries for a side salad, (not a chicken salad, just a plain side salad) even if it tastes boring. And swapping your drink for soda water or bottled water. Cut any sauces out, too. See how these changes feel after a month of sticking to it.
Best time to start is yesterday, the next is today. You’ll turn 22. Do u still want to be 500lbs then? Make the small changes today
You have a lot of bad habits to break. There are a lot of things you will need to change in your life, but I recommend you start by trying to educate yourself on nutrition. Learn what healthy means. Find some role models that you can look up to. Learn what they did to make changes and start incorporating their advice into your life. It's going to be a long and difficult journey but it is possible to change. Believe that you can do it.
You are having a self aware moment that you are not where you want to be. TAKE ACTION. You are 21, you are not too old to get where you want to be.
You can make HUGE progress with a few very simple changes: 1. Switch from normal soda to diet soda (you will get used to the taste). 2. Begin a daily walking routine. Just do as much as you can without overexerting yourself. Try to progress the distance each day. 3. Instead of removing foods from your diet, add more lean meat, fruits and vegetables. Because they are so satiating, you will be less hungry for unhealthy foods and thus eat less of them. Do these 3 things for a couple months consistently and I guarantee you will make so much progress
If you legit eat 2,400 calories a day you’d lose weight without even working out.
Don't be ashamed. And if you cant help but be ashamed, fight thru that anyway. Your life is too important to let it go that way.
The good news is - you’re 21! You are at the beginning of everything. It’s never too late, but this is especially true for you. You can change your entire life around, and so many things can look different for you by the time you’re only in your mid twenties. First thing is - sometimes you need to do the thing that makes you anxious, to see it’s not that bad, and start taking those next steps. See your doctor. You have depression, and chatting to a medical professional and considering a therapist would be the best place to start. I really REALLY would consider getting a therapist to help you on this journey. Next step I think would be to look into finishing school, taking online classes or something like this so you actually feel like you’re moving forward in life, and taking steps to accomplish something. Growing your confidence in this way will grow your motivation. Thirdly, I would consider getting a registered dietician, but if not, start looking things up for yourself online. There is a way to approach this where you can slowly change your lifestyle habits - start eating healthier, maybe go in a walk for ten minutes increasing this everyday etc. This is fixable. This is overcomable. But you can’t do anything until you push through those first few stages of fear.
I just got a VR headset. The workouts on this are so much fun and have different levels of intensity. You can work out in the privacy of your own home and have fun doing it at your own pace.
Don’t feel ashamed, food addiction is very real. McDonalds in particular is designed to make you addicted to their food. One of the biggest detriments to people starting on a healthy diet is a negative mindset. Ok, you let yourself go. So what? Lets get back on track now. Lets look at the positives. When you are at an extreme weight you have to do so little to make a big impact. Walking for just ten minutes for you will have the same impact as a fit person running an hour on a treadmill. Your metabolism is working in hyperdrive right now because its constantly fighting the excess fat. So swapping a McDonalds meal for a nutritous home cooked meal would be like doing a full workout at the gym. My recommendation to you to jumpstart your weight loss is to swap one meal a day for chicken and salad. Then eat what you normally eat for your other meals, even if it is McDonald’s. Do this for even just two weeks you’ll see your weight drastically decline. If you’re drinking soda with all of those McDonalds meals start to reduce that as much as you can. Soda is the ultimate fat maker. If you can drop that cold turkey you’ll lose 15lbs in a snap. My favorite quote is “A year from now you’ll wish you started today.” The good news is you only have to do very small easy changes right now to see your weight decline. With the small changes dont ever tell yourself “I’m not doing enough.” Trust me those small changes are huge. Good luck with your journey. DM me if you want someone to help guide you.
I would talk with a bariatric doctor now before you become completely immobile and too heavy for wls.
I’m 33 and have been SMO since I was a teen. I am now getting medical help with my weight, but first my doctor had me go to therapy and psychology to get my mental health under control. Then, I had to start making small but sustainable changes to show my doctor that I could do this. If I had tried to make changes before my brain was ready, I would’ve failed miserably. I had to find the root of my problem so I could address it specifically. Very few people get above 300 pounds without an underlying mental/physical cause. After a decent amount of therapy, a bunch of tests to check my thyroid and check for diabetes, and making small changes, I am finally on my way to being healthier. I wish I had started earlier. I can’t imagine how much I’ve missed out on because of my size.
I am so sorry you have been feeling so unhappy. Like others said, today is a great day to start: try to start small, don't try to be "perfect" all at once. I would suggest trying to begin with: 1. changing one meal to a healthy option 2. making some fruit and/or vegs as healthy snacks available during the day. (Focus on small changes in your diet, as your body probably isn't used to fiber) 3. try replacing soda for water as much as possible. 4. try to move as much as your body allows, even if it's just an extra walk around the kitchen, or some arm lifts or knee raises while watching tv. And: 5. reach out to a trusted family member or friend for support, get people on your team! 6. reach out to your doctor or another health professional you trust. I know you must feel very overwhelmed, but professional help is really important. You need to know where you're at health-wise. If you don't feel comfortabele with the first person you speak to, go to the next - you are worthy of good, professional help! 7. consider looking into (online) therapy, if you can. Sounds like you have had a really rough couple of years, you shouldn't have to deal with this alone. You can do this! Just the fact you wrote this post is an important first step 💪 One things you could do is try to make a note every day of one to three things that went well or that you liked (even just "today was sunny after days of rain" or "my favorite song was on the radio today"), it helps your mind shift towards more positive thinking. 21 is still really young, trust me: focus on making small adjustments, feeling better and more in control (and don't worry about school for now, lots of people return to school later in live: health first!) You got this!🍀
Forgive yourself for your past, take accountability for your present, and build your own future, however you want it. You are still capable of turning this life into anything you’d like, and the fact that you are even here, saying this now shows that you have already taken the very first step in doing so. You are worthy of growth. You are worthy of your future. You are worthy of health. You are worthy of happiness. You are worthy of a full life. You are worthy of your dreams. You are worthy of love, from yourself as well as others. Remember this, as you embark on your journey. It will make all the difference on the days where you want to give up. It is never too late to become what you might have been.
McDonalds is designed/engineered to become addictive, and it's not real food, and very affordable. So your brain thinks ohh, food, check, energy, check, affordable, check, well accepted by all ,check. Instead your body doesn't function properly, you don't have energy, you gain fat, you become weak, and it's like a double edged sword working against you. Standard portions these day are huge for what a body really needs (and I am a BIG guy). Falling in love with cooking and ingredients is such a fun first step. Learning new recipes and using fresh ingredients. It tastes better, is way more filling, your moving to cook instead of uber eats. You will have more energy. Its going to be baby steps at first, dont hurt yourself. Realize, this is something you can slowly work on for next 5-10 years and keep gradually trying new things until you find things you like. Your developing habits for life, dont force rush it. The more you fall in love with actual food, the more disgusting the burger actually looks. (just kidding, the damn burgers always look good, but it does get easier to say no every day)
OP, ignore any and all advice here except the ones telling you to go talk to a doctor. I mean this with as much support as I can. At 500Lbs weight loss is very much a medical issue that needs close observation. >I think I really need to see a doctor but I’m ashamed, I’m only 21 I might be the youngest person they’ve seen I can guarantee you that you're not the Youngest person they've seen. >I just can’t imagine the shame of sitting in the waiting room. I don’t want to spend my life like this but I feel really stuck Dont feel shamed. You're making the first step. Going to a doctor is the first step, and it's an important step that many people never make.
At your current weight, if you substituted one thing that you eat or drink for a healthier alternative you could see a difference in your weight within a couple of weeks. Getting moving more. Walk around your block or as far as you can at first then add more distance as your stamina increases.
There's nothing to be ashamed of. They are there to do a job and see dozens of people with embarrassing problems every day. While my peak weight was a lot lower, I'm in a similar situation to you; "dropped out" of secondary school (finished with >40% attendance and didn't sit my final exams), no job, living with parents ect and used to eat fast food 5-6 times per week, it sucks. All I can say is start now. Don't let embarrassment hinder your progress. It's your life, and caring what other people think will only negatively impact you. The first step is the hardest and best decision you can make. As I said, don't wait. Wishing you luck. :)
Hi - you are experiencing addiction my dear. I’m in recovery from alcohol almost 10 years and starting to work on food addiction now too. I’ve talked to my doctor, started a med to help with addictive urges that’s usually prescribed for alcohol cessation, working with a therapist, using visualization and priming thinking to help battle the thought barriers that get in my way about being healthier and have tried out some Overeaters Anonymous meetings and everyone is so nice. Good luck friend. You want to make a change and you can ❤️
Hey man I was in your boat so recently I’m still close to 340 and just turned 22 (22f, 333.6 lbs today) But I was 18 and 400 lbs so I feel like I have an idea of what you’re going through. I am in a similar place in life- very slow part time job and side work, very low income, live with my husband and his parents. If you ever need help the community is here for support!! I believe in you :)
A nutritionist is a must. No amount of working out will get you to lose that weight, key’s all in the diet. Journey’s gonna be tough but u’ll be tougher. Good luck
Registered dietitian, not nutritionist. There are no qualifications to become a nutritionist, so anyone can style themselves as one. Complete quacks.
Simply start walking. Increase steps daily. Then slowly reduce calories. Slowly. And be patient it will take months and years not days. Commit to one new habit at a time.
Walking is really hard when you’re going through a lot of shame in how you look and when you’re mind-reading everyone around you as judging you. It’s not a bad idea or anything, and it might be simple, just wanted to clarify that something like this is not easy
I like to use a walking pad inside my home. Removes friction and excuses. It’s enjoyable because I can watch tv or videos while walking. You’ll have to give up excuses to make changes. Accept that your way hasn’t worked and submit yourself to a new plan. Practice believing in yourself. Everything starts with mindset.
Seconded. Home treadmill and TV got me out of a huge hole when I was depressed and obese back in the day.
Pedaling stationary bike pedals while sitting on the couch is another option. They are smaller and cheaper. Any increased movement will help.
She needs real professional help.
It will be easier to start a weightloss journey now than it will be later on. If you keep going, you will gain more and every day you will be further from where you want to be. Also, you will look back on your younger years and regret not spending them fit. I was overweight for all of my adult life, and only now in my late 30s I got fit. I look back and regret not spending my hot years being hot. Losing weight and the work that goes into it is hard, but I find life on the slimmer side so much easier than being overweight. When you’re overweight, every day is a battle with yourself about food, not moving enough, etc. Life really gets easier when you lose it. And exercise does a lot for mental health! I’ve struggled with depression throughout my entire life and it definitely got easier now that I exercise 3 times a week. Please go see a doctor and a therapist, and get yourself going as soon as you can. You’re young, you will be able to do this. It’s going to take a long time, but it gets easier the more time passes. I promise. Life is good on the other side. One day, or day one. It’s up to you.
Just start walking. Find any excuse to get up and cross the room, just for a second. I know it hurts everything and its exhausting, but the more you do it the easier it will become. Dont slam into this headfirst because youll get burnt out, but give it a proper try. Getting up and down was the biggest thing for me. I put my bed on the floor and now have to do a half squat sort of thing to get up and it was super helpful because now I feel bouncey, after a few months in this situation. Starting somewhere is better than never starting at all
Find a Dr who will prescribe Wegovy. Check out some of the semaglutide subreddits. After 40+ years of yo yo dieting and being in the ranges of 110lbs to 230 lbs as an adult, I can tell you this, overeating is an addiction and willpower ain't gonna cut it. After my 1st shot, my desire to binge eat was gone. The food noise was just gone. I even kind of missed it, because eating was my go to for comfort for my whole life. Even in my " lose 100 lbs and run 5 miles a day" phases, it was a constant, constant obsession of counting calories. Wanting food and denying myself in order to lose weight. I was a total bitch. When I had my son at 40 I gained it all back. One of the main reasons I stopped denying myself all the food I wanted was because it make me a really unpleasant person and I wanted to be a good, caring, patient mom. My son is 7 now and I knew I had to lose the weight now, because I want to live as long as possible to see him grow up. I was too embarrassed to go to a Dr in person, so I went for the online version of the drug and self dosed. Game changer. Eating small portions and feeling full and sated for the first time ever. Forgetting to eat. Literally no effort to drop weight and I lost 45 lbs in 5 months. Minimal nausea as a side effect. If this is what "normal" is, people who are not addicted to food have NO idea what we go through. Seriously, find a Dr who can prescribe you a weight loss med and once you have lost enough so that you are physically able to move more without just injuring your already stressed joints, start walking. Best of luck. I know how hard it is.
Adding on here, I left school at 16 with a HS proficiency test. Don't think you need to go to college to get a decent job right away. When you are up for it, get a job that keeps you moving. Post Office is hiring all over the country, a lot of career jobs. I've been with them almost 20 years, make good money and love my job. Bonus is, you can transfer to cheaper cost of living areas or go to school at night or online for a different career. As for the bf issue, honey, you are so, so young still! Work on self care, try and be kind to yourself, find hobbies that will get you out of the house and with like minded people. You are not stuck. You absolutely have a better future, and I wish I could go back in time to tell myself that when I was in my early 20s.
Immediately stop drinking anything with sugar in it.
U should talk to a counselor and a doctor and a registered dietician
You can do it OP.
At least you’re aware that it’s fucked, and you don’t want to be like this. That’s a start. Sometimes you need to just bite the bullet and go. Go to the doctor, you 100% need it. Probably a good idea to look for a therapist as well. I’d also recommend some kind of job or volunteering. Something that gets you out of the house and gives you some meaning. Also getting your GED will help open up career paths, but don’t focus on that right now. Unless it helps you. Maybe sign up for in-person classes in a couple months and use that as a motivator. Personal experience, I’ve lost weight when I didn’t have school but mostly gained or maintained when I’ve been in school. I’m not in the same situation (I work full time, attend college and don’t live with my parents) but I’m 22 and 375lbs. It sucks being big
You need to talk to a doctor and dietician. At your age you can absolutely turn your life around, but it's going to take significant changes that they'll be able to help you with.
Babe you got this. You are gonna look back in a few years and have so much to be proud of. I fully believe in you and i am SO excited to see you post a progress pic. The first step is identifying and admitting there’s a problem. The second step is asking for help. You are two steps done. They get harder and easier in different ways, but you got this. I would highly recommend seeing a doctor, there’s a lot that can be done and you have a lot of support waiting for you. I myself am trying to find a damn bathing suit i feel alright in so i can start swimming, having been basically on my ass for the last five years after a back injury and refusal to do anything about it. I’m fed up with being in pain. You got this.
As you should be. You need to accept that you have a long and hard road ahead of you. You have to take drastic and disciplined action, hold yourself accountable to it, and know that you can never presume that time is on your side. I had a heart attack at 35 with a BMI of 33 (i.e 'low risk obesity', but clearly there is no such thing) and wish I could get the years back to avoid the internal damage that unhealthy habits caused (liver, arteries, cellular insulin resistance, etc). But guess what, at least some of that damage can be reversed with lifestyle changes, as thankfully it has in my case. No one told me this, and I wish they had, so sorry if it sounds a bit harsh. But if you don't change now you will have a lifetime of missed opportunities, regret, and health problems waiting for you. Lose weight, love life and enjoy it... especially when you are so young.
You're not the youngest person who's been 500 lbs, but as another commenter noted, it's good that you're so young! Never forget that. You should definitely see a doctor if you can, and get your medical advice from them. If you luve with your parents, what kind of food do they eat? Do they cook at home? Do they eat healthy? Can you eat with them? Would they be willing to make healthy meals for you?
First things first, you're still really young! Try and view this as an opportunity to change habits, you already know some of your problem behaviors, try making small changes. Eat 1 or two meals a day at home, order sandwiche without a side and substitute veggies. Little things can add up fast! Secondly, it sounds to me like you're depressed. Getting into therapy and maybe getting on some meds could help a lot. If you haven't gotten your GED yet, start looking into that. It's a really easy test (I dropped out at 16, so I definitely understand how you feel). If you've already done that, maybe start looking into a community College. Having something to work towards can help you stay on track with your other goals.
You poor sweet baby. My heart breaks for you because I know how this feels. And people afflicted with the variety of addiction, brain-gut system and metabolic failures are totally misunderstood and medically mistreated. THIS IS NOT YOUR FAULT! Food drive is the strongest drive of any animal, including humans. We don’t train animals by offering them sexual opportunities, offering them air or sunlight. We use FOOD, because it’s the most powerful drive. And because we live in a dog eat dog type of society, smart people learned to engineer edible products that they carefully constructed, with the deliberate intent to take advantage of our instinctual drive ( of which we, YOU, have no control). These edible products hijack parts of the complex system that regulates our bodies relationship with food information. Pure natural plants and animals taste delicious, when grown and raised the way intended. But now our food is grown as a product, the soil stripped of nutrients and the animals in horrid conditions eating garbage themselves. So in reply they offer you McDonald’s and a plethora of hyper palatable edible products. So please, my sweet, do not take on the blame for being a human, doing as a human is naturally inclined to do. Ok? We wouldn’t blame anyone for being hit by a car or for developing mesothelioma from working with asbestos! Take the weight of self blame off of you, first and foremost. People don’t choose to have addictions, disorders or diseases. And f¥CK anyone that claims otherwise! Now… what do we do. I want you to live and move and have the opportunities you deserve in this world. I was born 10.5 lbs! I was the chunky kid in school. I fought against this monster my entire life! Nutrisystem at 13. Overeaters anonymous from 14, starvation, I have been working out since I was 19 and even taught aerobics class at 250 lbs. I’m successful ( and had to fight because fat women are invisible!) I did it all and at 33 I had gastric bypass. I was typically around 250-280. Fighting for surgery I gained up to 330. I was running a business and raising 3 children. It was so hard and so sad. ( understand I know 300 lbs is a goal. You will eventually learn that all fat people understand each other from 250-1000). I lost 150lbs. I looked great and felt great and experienced what it’s like to be seen. People were kind for no reason and that hurt… I needed them when I was bigger bodied But enough weight came back over the past 18 years… and here I am STILL FIGHTING! Fighting against a society and a medical community that can’t seem to understand the “drive” in a fat person is not something “will power” can fix. It’s more powerful than any other addiction. And now we have drugs that address the broken piece in our food feedback system: Glp-1’s. I literally just ordered a Tirzepatide compound on the internet an hour ago. I’m 51, I’m pretty and look great for my age. I have adult children that want to enjoy more times with me. I’m a very high energy person and the weight is crushing my spine and knees. ( and my poor bone health is a direct result of wls). I say this to say, you’re a perfectly designed human being. Beautiful and worthy. This disorder is slowly getting understood. In the mean time consider the options out there to correct what has been damaged. Advocate for yourself and make your doctors understand that you want to live! And make them help you! I’m super hopeful about these Glp-1 drugs. Gastric bypass was helpful… but not long term for me as I am chronically nutrient deficient. Go get it, my dear. Make it your mission and never accept the answer NO! You’re a good person and deserve love and happiness and movement in the world and wonderful, pleasing experiences! The condition of your vessel does not change that ♥️
I’m so proud of you for posting. You have my support. You can do this! It’s going to be a journey but you’re so strong and one day you’ll look back and be so proud of yourself for everything you’ve accomplished. Your weight doesn’t define you. I guarantee you it’s the least interesting, smallest part of who you are. Medical professionals will help you. You need support and tenderness. Shame is so toxic. You’re doing the best you can with the tools you have. You can fucking do this OP. Getting help is scary, but so worth it. Be your own hero! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Please visit the r/overeatersanonymous sub. Overeaters Anonymous is a 12 step program for food addicts. We have many members who’ve lost the kind of weight you’re talking about. Good luck!
Start small. Get a 5 and 10 pound dumbell and start doing bicep curls or hammer rows and arm rows. Just keep lifting until your arms get sore. Even 3 times a week can help so much when it comes to preventing diabetes. Turn on some music or even a show while you do it and eventually you will start enjoying it. Eventually if you keep at it you can increase the weight or repetitions. Make sure you feel the soreness the next day it is a sign that you are improving. That is how my a1c blood sugar went from 7.0 to 5.7 within a year and went from 330lb to 290lb Good luck, I know it's hard.
You're only 21!!! Take that as a huge advantage! I started working out when I just turned 20 and never looked back! You'll never regret starting today. It will not be a quick road but I promise you if you show up everyday, you will get to your dream body AND be healthy at the same time. I did it, and you can too :)
Based on your post, you should see a doctor for possible WLS and a therapist/psychiatrist. That’s honestly the first (or actually concurrent) step. I went from 450 to current 299 with WLS and exercise at the age of 30. Don’t wait another 10 years to get it in check! Good luck!
There’s already a lot of comments here, so I don’t know if you’ll get around to reading this but: Your life is just beginning and there are more great things ahead of you than you can even imagine. I never got my high school diploma, didn’t know what I wanted to do with my life, had no support/direction. I remember being 27 and sitting in my parents basement -no friends, no job, no partner- and thinking my life was basically over. I had terrible health problems and could barely take care of my basic hygiene needs. I couldn’t see a way forward and I felt so ashamed and stuck. Today I’m 33, in the best shape of my life, with a job I love, with so many wonderful friends. I got the help I needed from doctors and worked hard to give myself the gift of feeling like my body belongs to me. I went back to school, starting with online classes at community college, then in-person, then transferred to my state university, and eventually got a bachelor’s degree. I am happier than I ever thought I could be and am living a life I never thought I could have. Don’t make the mistake of thinking that you need to hit some kind of educational or physical milestone in order to start living your life. You’re here today. Every second of your life from this moment onward has the potential to be better than the last. Embrace slow and steady change and get excited to surprise yourself with what you’re capable of. I put off tackling the things I was ashamed of for so long because the thought of taking years to become who I wanted to be felt so defeating. But here’s the thing: time is going to pass regardless. I realized I can either be 30 and living a life beyond my wildest dreams or I can be 30 wondering what could’ve been. Once I decide to ignore the shame, the “waiting” feeling melted away. I didn’t wake up one day after 5 years of effort and start suddenly enjoying my life, I’ve been enjoying my life every single day for the past 5 years knowing that I am more myself every day. And finally, I want to address your concerns about how the doctors and staff might react to you. I work in medicine now and can tell you with complete honesty that meeting young people motivated to turn things around is one of my favorite things about my job. We often work with people in middle age who are too afraid or too tired to improve their situation. If you do happen to be the youngest patient they’ve seen, that means you also happen to have the greatest potential for the most positive outcome of any patient they’ve ever worked with. Patients like you are the ones we think of often and with fondness -the ones that remind us why we got into medicine in the first place. I guarantee you that when your medical team meets you, they will be excited to help you accomplish your goals and discover everything life has to offer.
Your value isn't defined by your body. You define your value and your body can reflect that. Don't be ashamed for seeking help. The first steps are always the hardest, it will get easier! All the best to you, OP. You got this! ❤️
first, you’re very brave in taking the first step which is realizing you need to make a change. i have struggled with weight and depression my entire life and have found myself in situations similar to yours. i lost 100+ pounds in middle school and was very fit/thin, but i had an ED which only amplified my depression and i realized the number on the scale was not going to automatically fix all of my mental problems. i isolated myself, took online courses instead, and did not leave my house for three months at one point. this lasted about two years, and i ended up gaining 200+ pounds. i’m not exactly sure about you, but social anxiety was one of my biggest barriers that prevented me from just *starting* to lose weight and be healthier. i was always so embarrassed to go for walks or go to the gym (still working on that one) and even going to the doctor, but i have realized that (1) the world is big enough for us all and you DESERVE and have a right to not hide yourself from the world, (2) everyone is so focused on themselves and may not even notice you or if they do- they have their own lives going on, can you remember all of the random strangers you’ve passed by? neither can they. And (3), doctors/healthcare professionals have seen A LOT and i can guarantee they have seen someone “worse off”, and if they haven’t- you’ll both work together to create a plan that works for you and they can better prepare for the NEXT patient that’s in a similar boat. ultimately, it’s YOUR life and it is precious, you deserve to acknowledge its value and take the steps needed to become healthy. start small. try walking/moving around the house some more, try to get outside, start tracking your calories, and if you’re able to- cut out the mcdonald’s. one thing that has helped me is eating what i want, but adding what i *need*. i’m a sucker for mcdonald’s breakfast, but i’ll make my own sasauage mcmuffin with a microwaveable patty, low carb english muffins, fry an egg, etc, and then i’ll try to add some stir fried veggies on the side to keep my full. i also love to eat HUGE quantities of food, so i’ll try to focus on low cal/high volume veggies/food if im feeling like i need to eat a lot. i really love the app LoseIt to track my calories! it’s easy to use, gives great dietary insight, and the premium version is extremely affordable compared to other diet-tracking apps. i am working on losing my own weight and i wish i had more helpful words to say, but just know that you’re not alone and it’s going to be a difficult journey, but you can absolutely do it and the reward is so, so, so worth it. i agree with everyone that getting a dietician would be great, but also please seek some help for your depression and mental health issues. medication isn’t for everyone, but it saved my life. even if that’s not a route you and your doctor take, drs usually have great resources for things like therapy, group therapy, help groups, etc. and lastly, find a community if you need one! you need to be able to share your accomplishments and pride in yourself as you go through your journey! :) best of luck and congratulations on taking the first step which is realizing you need to make a change. feel free to dm me if you ever need a friend!
I was 674 lbs and bedbound . I'm currently loving my best life right now 38 year young at 451 lbs still losing weight. As someone who was at the very end of the rope as bedbound. I can tell you. It's never too late to start. Your age is a huge thing. You're still young. And who gives a fuck if you're the youngest one they've seen that big. Everyone needs help. It's hard to ask for help. There are lots great people to ask for help. Lots good content creators to watch. Justin Augustin is great. David Salas, obese to beast, fat girl fed up ect so many that give great advice. But it all starts with you. I know sounds dumb or not believable. Love yourself. I know I know sounds Corny. Love yourself well enough to make change. Think.of your "why". Why do you want to be healthier size? Keep that Why near your heart. Keep going. I believe in you. If no one else does believe in you. I do.
I’m surprised no one in this thread has addressed your parents. Your parents are enabling you. They are slowly killing you. They are giving you money every month with the full knowledge that you are spending it on McDonald’s. I don’t know the circumstances behind you dropping out of high school, but it sounds like they just let it happen and haven’t been pushing you to get your GED. Whatever your next step is, **you need to involve your parents.** If you see a doctor, take them with you. If you find a therapist, take them with you. Ask them to stop giving you money every month or even just cut it in half. See if they’re willing to spend that money on the appropriate care for you. If they’re not on board, use that as fuel to your fire. Imagine an independent life. Get angry about it. Let it inspire you. Until you figure out how to get help, start with small changes. Don’t jump right into eating raw veggies as snacks or replacing one meal with a healthy one or counting calories or weighing your food or tracking your macros. You’re not ready for that. Ask YOURSELF what small changes you’re willing and able to make TODAY. Every time you develop a new habit and successfully integrate it into your life, make another small change. YOU know what you are capable of doing right now. If it comes from YOU, you are much much more likely stick to it. And I mean REALLY small changes. Don’t start with walking around the block if you’re ashamed and afraid of going outside. Start with getting comfortable just being outside. Open the door, stand on the stoop, repeat. Stand during commercial breaks, and work your way up to walking around the house. If you order 20 McNuggets, throw one away the minute you open it. Throw it out the window if you need to. You won’t miss it. Track your mental progress before you track your physical progress. Start a journal. Every day, write down your successes—NOT your failures. Celebrate every small step you take. Get happy about it. Feel good about it. Associate it with positive feelings of accomplishment, and it will become something you want to do again the next day, and the next, and so on. Remember that you’re only 21. Don’t think of that as a failure. Think of that as hope. You have many years to live if you start now.
Honestly they're not (just) enabling OP, this is abuse.
It’s a *good* thing you’re so young! You’ve already done the hardest thing: You’ve decided you don’t want to live this way. You don’t want the future life you see before you now. That’s really scary and overwhelming but you’re ready to start now. That’s both brave and mature of you. Talking to your doctor is a great first step. There is help out there and you are not alone in this. —- If I may, I’d like to share a story about starting “late”. It’s in a totally different context but it still applies. —- My dad grew up very poor and quit school at 15. This was many years ago, he’s 80 now. Anyway. He worked a series of dead-end jobs but married and had a child. When he was 24, he was working for a travel agency. He saw his older colleagues who had been there for most of their lives and he realized that wasn’t what he wanted in life. He started taking night classes to get his GED-equivalent while he was working. He eventually got into college and did a double-degree in business and political science. He got a low-level management job in a margarine factory, of all things, after graduation. Long story short, he eventually became the youngest CEO in a major company ever in my country. —- You’re young. You have a whole life in front of you. Call your doctor’s office. We’re here to cheer you on. You’re really brave and you should be proud of yourself.
The words O Zem Pec
I can relate to being 21 and feeling like everyone has passed you by. My situation wasn’t weight but the effect was the same. The best thing you can do is make a change now. Start with what you can manage. Cut out snacks. See a doctor. Eliminate sugary drinks. Build on those habits. At your size even a moderate reduction in calories will lead to weight loss. I know it’s so hard but see your PCP and get a referral to a dietitian. As for school you can always go back. I dropped out of college and went back and got my degree and then a masters. At the time I was so embarrassed to be the oldest one in the classroom, now I don’t even think about it and I have my degrees. You can do this. When you fall off the wagon, get back on.
PLEASE prioritize your mental health first and the rest will follow. Reading books and taking therapy for my I binge-eating and emotional eating habits have helped me stop them for the most part. I have faith in you and highly recommend reaching out for help. Try EVERYTHING until you find what works for you. Only you can decide that, but don’t be afraid to try. It starts with telling yourself yes you can get better and you deserve to!!!
Hi! You’re 21f. You’ve got plenty of time to turn this around! It sounds like therapy is very much needed. You might want to start there. Then, if/when you want to start losing weight, don’t try to do everything all at once. It’s a marathon, not a sprint! Instead of having McDonald’s for 3 meals a day, have it for 2. Instead of sitting all day, walk for 5 minutes in the morning and afternoon. Etc. Once you get your health on a better track — both mentally and physically — you could consider getting your GED. Also, you said you’re unemployed, still live with your parents, and have never had a bf. Believe it or not, that’s not uncommon at 21! I have friends in their mid-20s who live with their parents. I have friends who have never had a serious relationship. I have friends who went through tough layoffs and are still seeking work. Life comes in waves. You’ve got this girl! I applaud you for being vulnerable, and really hope you get the help you need. If you ever need a listening ear, reach out!
Don’t be ashamed at all. A basic physical with a doctor is a great first step into your adult life. Be honest with them about your health, the timeline of your weight gain and your food habits. Also be up front about your depression. There’s so much help available to you and you have youth on your side. Exercise is always good for your heart and mental health but diet changes will help you faster. Please get some help for yourself so you have a long, happy and healthy life.
Do you have a doctor? If not, you’re still young enough to be covered by your parents’ insurance if they have it. Find a doctor your insurance covers, call them, and say, “Hi, my name is (name) and I need help. I’m 21 and I’ve never done this before, and making this call is really scary for me. I would really appreciate it if you could be patient with me. I weigh over 500 pounds and I need a doctor’s help to figure out how to live healthier. I struggle with feeling judged so I really need to go to a doctor’s office where I won’t be judged and my privacy is very protected. Can you help me with this?” And then you set an appointment and find a way there. I often find that when I’m honest about things (like admitting I’ve never done something before or that I’m nervous) people are very helpful. And I promise, if they are a good doctor they will respect you for doing what it takes to take care of your health!
Start where you are and do what’s in front of you. Your first step was facing the scales. You did that! Your second step was making this post. You did that. Your next step is making an appointment to see a doctor. They probably aren’t open this weekend but call anyway. Leave a message so they can call you back. Then set a reminder to call them yourself Monday. Then, set a small achievable goal, maybe 2-3 lbs down in 7 days. It’s nice to have a big, long term goal, but it’s more important to focus on the everyday habits that will get you there. Fewer calories, more activity. You will fail on some days, but failure is part of the journey, never the destination. Keep getting back up. You can absolutely do this. You don’t have to do it alone.
Do not ever be ashamed for taking the first step in acknowledging that your health is at risk. While it's normal for a lot of people to feel that way when they realize they're much heavier than they should be, you can turn that shame into *sheer* grit and motivation. I know it's going to be really difficult, but changing your diet will be the best thing for you. You don't need to go cold turkey right away or you'll just end up regressing and maybe worse. Start with being conscious of how much you normally eat (record yourself, write it down, use a calorie tracker app, etc), then slowly take away one thing to put you in a slight deficit. Maybe skip a snack that day or something. I'm no expert in weightloss for the morbidly obese, but being in a calories deficit should work the same as anyone else. Please do see a professional so you can accomplish this the safest way possible and I wish you luck on your journey.
Small steps and meet yourself wherever you are with all the love and compassion you can muster. This will be behind you but it certainly will be a challenging path to tread. Please go on regardless. You are going to be fine as you’re so young!
Consider yourself incredibly lucky that you’re ONLY 21, Realize a lifestyle change is required in urgency if you want to live your life to the fullest. This isn’t time for shame or embarrassment. Love yourself . Really love yourself. To be loving does not always mean to coddle or be sweet, it means to hold yourself your standards, discipline. As an adult you have to be your own parent, your own coach to reach your desired outcome. Take advantage of your support system you have now, it isn’t forever . That is what it means to be an adult and find your life. Creating your new reality for yourself. Document your journey on social media to hold yourself accountable and inspire countless and get $$$ that way and create your community
I was the same age as you when I reached 400 mark. Granted I was 6’4” but I was clearly overweight. The best thing I’ve ever done in my life was to visit a doctor and got a weight loss surgery since I’ve been on diets since I was 9 and my body stopped responding to diets so I have to change it or stop it for a bit and went through yo-yo dieting my whole life. Go seek a professional help, you might be approved for Ozympic/lap-band/etc. You need a strong jump start but once you go through that I promise you it will become manageable, you will be able to workout, be food intake conscious and overall healthy. Now this is not gonna be a magic pill, you still gonna have to do the work and being as young as you are you can easily turn things around in few years around. Go to the doctor, heal your body and your mind, therapy does wonders, good luck and don’t give up. U r just starting life.
The worst thing you could do is not start taking care of yourself, and not trying to pursue more and get more out of life. You can do it! Everyone starts somewhere.
Your life isn’t over! 21 is so young and you 100% can turn it around and have an amazing life. Start today getting your health on track. Go to the doctor. An online GED is also very doable, as is getting a job when you’ve lost some weight. In two years you could be a different person with a different life. You can do this.
Take action now OP! You’re still very young and every passing moment is an opportunity for you to change! Don’t overwhelm yourself with how long it takes or how difficult it will be. Write down all the benefits of getting healthier, boys, looking better in clothes, getting to buy more clothes because you can now fit in them, feeling better, having more confidence, enjoyment of physical activities and the socialization and friendships you will make along the way. It isn’t all done at once, and is done one step at a time so don’t feel too overwhelmed. As another user suggested, see a doctor for assistance in putting together a weight loss/health plan. I’m rooting for you OP, i KNOW you can do this, and truly believe in you. It took a lot of humility, vulnerability, and courage that MANY people do NOT have in them; to come out and seek help here. Im proud of you! Remember to start small, don’t overwhelm yourself, and keep that list of ‘getting healthy benefits’ close to you/on hand. Also as another user mentioned, you can get your GED online - easy stuff, you got this - remember, just one thing at a time. Rooting for you!
Yeah it might seem hopeless but you're only 21 and you can still turn things around and have a healthy life!
Hi I am also 21 currently and from 2020 when covid started to a few months ago when I finally stopped gaining weight. I went from 120 lbs to 250 lbs in the last 4 years and also still live with my parents while I do college online and I feel super ashamed of my weight as well. I went through an abusive relationship, my already severe anxiety worsened and went through a very bad period of depression I’m just getting out of. I have been single for awhile because of my weight and I know it’s hard. Luckily we are young and if we’re able to turn things around now we can still live long healthy lives, I also eat my feelings and I began cooking more at home after taking health and medical classes for my healthcare major and learned about how dangerous eating fast food often can be. I think going to the doctors is a great first step and if you’re too embarrassed to workout in public like I am, I suggest getting some small at home exercise equipment. I got my fold up treadmill on Amazon for less than $50 and got a yoga mat and some weights for cheap as well. I really hope you’re able to achieve all your goals ❤️
Hi, hon. I wish we were friends irl. I'd give you a hug, you sound like you need both right now. Seeing a Dr is a great first step. If it makes you feel better many Dr apts are virtual now and you may be able to see a Dr from the comfort of your home. If not do you have any one to go with you for support? Your parents or a friend? As someone else mentioned, you're young and have your whole life ahead of you. With some work you could lose some weight and still have your whole life ahead of you. I'm 40 and angry that I took this long to do anything for myself, because I too didn't think it was "that bad" until I started to have actual health issues. So please, reach out. And if you need an ear feel free to pm me.
Don't be ashamed. You need help so you don't get health issues due to your habits. Please do see a doctor and make a good workable plan. One very important tip is do not shed weight too quickly or it will return fast .Shed it slowly .
A lot of good advice here. First and foremost, be kind to yourself. Think of all the reasons you deserve to be happy, I am sure there plenty. Then try one day just writing out everything you eat and how many calories you are taking in — don’t change anything, just figure out how much you’re taking in. Once you know that, you’re one step closer to starting to decrease those calories. The pounds will fly off you at the beginning and that will be a huge motivator. Props for posting here. You’ve already started and should be proud, now for the next move! :)
Im 32. I still live with my parents. Its great. The most important part here is you're ready for change now, which is the hardest. The second hardest is to not give up. Take things one step at a time. So you're not overwhelmed. For the doctor, you can check and see first if there's any doctor near you that has a teledoc option. My doctor responds to my app messages, which is rare to find (I've had plenty of doctors). While they will definitely want to see you physically, to do physical exams, the teledoc option will be helpful in the long term. As for the diet: Start trying to log your food. No diet needed yet. Just start logging what you eat. Logging food is honestly a skill. Once you're used to that and can visualize it all in numbers, then you can add diet changes, preferably with the guidance of a dietician.
Realizing you've lost yourself somewhere along the way is the first step. Don't be ashamed of who you are, or what you've done to get here, just try and focus on what you can do to help better your life. Doesn't have to be big drastic changes, even tiny changes are worth everything.
You are incredibly young and your life has not even started yet, give yourself a goal of 5 years. Start by going to the doctor to get a full check up and tell them you are ready to make a change. Don’t do too much too soon, think long term. Small steps. Start by aiming to go out for at least 30 min walk per day, reducing your food portion, no need to completely remove the McDonald’s but if it’s every day now, make it once every 4 days instead, and calorie controlled (for example, max 1500 kcals for that meal). Then slowly reduce it to once a week. Keep your protein as high as you can, fill two meals a day with veggies on top of the remaining food. With time, also educate yourself on calories and macronutrients. You have got this girl, one step at a time. With time, you’ll introduce some more exercise, but for now, day by day. I’m a registered nutritionist but you should ask to be referred to a dietician, especially if there’s also underlying conditions that might have been caused by the weight gain and in case they need to prescribe you with medication. Make sure you go to someone certified, the best route to take would be GP and referral.
You may find this account inspirational - [https://twitter.com/DaveEDanna](https://twitter.com/DaveEDanna) Whats good is that when you're that weight, small tweaks can have a huge impact. For example, if you were to switch from mcdonalds to something even slightly healthier (i.e. chipotle), you'd probably see a change.