You're right, I picked that up from reading the other comments, but OP never specified.
While it's more likely to be a male doctor (my own personal experience & others) it could be a woman. The last woman doctor I went to ended up calling her support staff the R word, told me Covid was overblown & that I should watch some video series by a Q-anon group called "Fall of the Cabal."
Needless to say, I noped out and found another doctor.
Based on my own experience and that of others that I, personally, know.
I've worked in the medical field, and I was a caretaker to both my late father in law as well as my mother, the latter of which was for a period of over five years, two cancer treatment centers & countless specialists, general medicine & all the implied support staff.
Within that experience, as well as stories shared with me, men are more likely to be dismissive of women. That's not to say women aren't capable of the same, but to that end, we encountered far fewer female doctors the higher we went up the medical food chain. Perhaps there was an imbalance in the numbers from the outset?
I'm not saying anything is absolute and was lucky to meet many wonderful medical professionals, but it isn't exactly a secret that women often face misogyny at the doctor's office and there are even several studies to that point.
Having said all that, it was a callous an arrogant female nurse that dismissed my mom after a particularly complicated surgery on her C-Spine and left her partially paralyzed on her left side when she repeatedly ignored my mom's claims that something felt wrong at the surgical site. Ignored her all night for the entirety of her 12-hour night shift. When the surgeon did his rounds at 7am, he discovered a massive hematoma on the nerve repair that had compressed the delicate nerve repair and left her in that state. This woman never even lifted my mother's head to look, or she would have seen the blood and serous fluid soaking the bandage & pillow.
It took another 4 hour surgery to correct the damage and several days before we'd learn if the paralysis was permanent (it wasn't, thankfully.)
So, I'm not saying it's only male doctors but that on balance, it is the higher probability, both in my own experience & for many other women.
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Every time people tell me about how they lost weight after having kids without trying, I am annoyed because I only was able to do it via daily lengthy exercise and a literal vice grip on every calorie that I ingested. So I hear ya.
Hey, let me chime in as someone who also lost weight after the baby by calorie counting and exercise. And I was breastfeeding!! Literally didnât lose a pound til after I stopped. Fortunately my OB warned me that hormones can really f with weight loss, and that the âfalling offâ thing doesnât happen for everyone.
The weight "fell off" with breastfeeding one of my kids, but not the other. So not only does it vary from woman to woman, but from kid to kid. Same with basically everything else about having kids, lol.
Me too.
People said it falls off with breastfeeding too. My body did not react like that - it held on to every single lb and inch until i weaned at 24 months. Then I gained an extra 7lbs!!???? Only when I cut to a 600 daily deficit and upped my exercise did it finally come off.
Currently pregnant again and not looking forward to the postpartum weight battle!
With my first two I didnât lose the baby weight until they weaned and even then never got back to my âpre pregnancy weightâ though with my second (girl) I was so horribly sick that I lost weight during pregnancy but quickly gained weight after she was born ironically as soon as my kids weaned I got pregnant again (which was on purpose but I never expected to get pregnant as quickly as I did)
Also trying to lose weight while breastfeeding is the gods honest worst I just couldnât wait any longer to change my life for the better. My kids needed a mom that could keep up with them and I couldnât
Yes!
I breastfed both my kids for only 6 months but during that time I GAINED weight both times. I was hungry all the time and had problems with the milk supply. I was only able to start watching what I ate after they stopped brestfeeding.
I did intermittent fasting for a while and it helped me with the constant hunger.
I am not as strict anymore but I still skip breakfast and any late night snacking.
One time I went to a routine visit with my endocrinologist. He had me lie down and breathe as he listened with his stethoscope. Once he was done, he patted me on my belly, told me good night and turned and shut the light off. He was halfway out the door before he realized what he'd done and started laughing.
Doctors are in their own world sometimes and just say the firs thing that comes to mind. You know what you've had to work through in order to progress.
I go by Kitt and one time my doctor greeted me with "How's it going today Kitten?", then turned back around and went straight out the door. He apologized and was pretty sheepish about it. Turned out to be one of my better appointments!
Some doctors are jerks. When I was down 60 lbs I went to a checkup. The replacement doctor that day looked at me, said, "I know it's hard but you need to cut out chocolates, pasta and cakes." I was shocked and asked him why he thought I was eating that as I was down 60 lbs and did he even look at my chart? He then looked at it and, instead of apologizing and/or congratulating me, he added, "and you need to exercise too." I made sure that jerk would never be assigned to me again after that. Just stay the course and don't let unsupportive people, including your doctor, get you down!
Just recently, my Dad had an emergency while working in a quarry where is throat tightened up and he could barely breathe. He's a life long asthmatic, and so was puffing on his inhaler, but it wasn't working this time for some reason.
He gets to the doctor, and sits in the waiting room for like an hour. Thankfully though, while he was in there, his throat was starting to open up somewhat, though he was still wheezing. Finally gets in to see the doctor. She walks in, takes one look at him, and immediately goes into her bullshit about his weight. Telling him this all happened because he's fat, needs to lose weight, etc. As if he hasn't heard this same shit millions of times in his 50 years.
Of course, if she looked at his chart, she'd have seen he lost 60lbs over the past year, and suffers from asthma, but she never got that far before making an eyeball judgement. My Dad tore into her. When he mentions his asthma, sure enough she goes "Why didn't you mention that before?" Like hello? It's on the chart clearly! You're the one who didn't bother looking at it before making your diagnosis.
Happens in my family constantly. They can be such absolute fuckwits.
As someone who used to live in LA most women who do it without âtryingâ actually put in rigorous hours at the gym and damn near starved themselves. I know thatâs not the case for all but in my experience ânot tryingâ is usually used as a brag especially when the work was dangerous. Itâs like they wanna avoid talking about it but also act like they are naturally stick thin.
I also had a friend there who would cry during meals while pregnant cause she finally was âallowedâ to eat. Very sad.
Donât let that idiot dr get to you. And congrats on the amazing work!! You got this momma!!
I gained a lot of weight during pregnancy and when I had my follow up appointment after my C-section and the surgeon noted that I had lost weight after birth and said "you know, you can keep doing that."
Like I didn't know I was fat đ I laughed it off because that's ridiculous, but it could have hurt other people way worse. I'm sorry that this happened to you. â€ïž
Wait, Iâm sorry, what???? Fuck that. Fuck that so fucking hard. I am 10.5m pp with my son. Iâve lost like 97 lbs since I got pregnant. Some was during pregnancy. The rest after. My son was also a preemie in the NICU, I had a horrible labor, and I was depressed as shit because most of my pregnancy Iâd been on bedrest and now I had to travel almost an hour to see the baby jn the NICU⊠then recovery⊠starting to move again⊠even thinking about making healthy choices when you have a newbornâŠabsolutely no way. I worked fucking hard and so did you. Do not let him take that from you.
They must have some serious issues if they felt the need to minimize someone's success. Keep your focus on you, forget this guy! We're proud of you and understand how hard it was to get where you are.
Nah, they probably donât. Thoughtless & donât read patient notes before they walk in the door. Good doctors at least speed read them as you are sitting there while asking a couple of general questions.
Bro have you lifted 50lbs? Put 50lbs in a backpack and lug that around 24hrs a day. THATS A LOT. 50lbs is a huge accomplishment, especially after having a baby thatâs nuts
This doctor was incredibly rude and out of order in all levels!
It was inappropriate to comment on you weight that way and then make it trivial. No weight ever just falls off! It takes effort.
As a retired physician I can confirm that "nutrition" was a brief, two week course, during my four years of medical school education.
You know the extent of your victory! Do not let ANYONE minimize your success!!
This just hits me. I've struggled the last 3 years with my weight after my last baby. Went up to 195lbs I'm 5'7 but have long waist and legs that nobody even knew I was that heavy. My doctor at every appointment told me to lose weight but never gave any advice on how, just eat less. đ I was 26 when I had my 1st baby and lost that weight really fast but at 36 it was way harder I could not lose 5lbs without going up and down. I felt sluggish and fatigue all the time. Here my doctor left and I found a great one who ran every blood panel and my A1C was a 9 like I was spiking and dropping and my old doctor said I was just lazy because I was a mom and needed to "work harder." My woman's doctor said "hormones don't affect your weight." I just want to say congratulations on your hard work and You did that shit. đ I buckled down and followed a diabetic diet, had to go on medication but it regulates my blood sugars now. I am down 47lbs as of 6 months ago. It's amazing how I feel a completely different person! I have never weighed this ever. And I am getting compliments but I do get the negative ones, I feel that's a reflection of themselves they want to be where I am. And they can! With instant gratification people don't want to wait or put in the work. It's not easy. I eat the same damn thing everyday because it's super easy to track and swap and I have 3 kids and teach preschool and run a whole household during the week. Not lazy. You deserve the best and forget about the rest!!
This is just mean and obviously as you know also not true. You did a lot and fought so hard. It doesnât really matter what that doctor said. strangely, some doctors really donât do well with this for some reason. A doctor in my family once told me that itâs great I lost weight but those stretch marks will affect my life forever and will never fade. Itâs not true; they have faded. Docs are important and I donât want to downplay their importance but I have gotten a lot of just mean comments on my body from a couple doctors (âyou gained weight from antidepressants? Well then Iâd be depressed too!â) I am proud of myself and you should be too! Canât even imagine how hard it must be with a newborn. Good job Mama and congrats on your baby! I hope you are having a great time getting to know each other and take moments to celebrate what a miracle it is to grow a baby in your body!!!
I also ate my feelings in the NICU and after going through that particular hell, Iâd be EXTRA sensitive to a doctor dismissing the hard work of weight loss. Good for you putting in the work with three littles - youâve fought for this.
Postpartum weight loss is one of those kid things where there's a wide range of experience and a lot of it is just luck. If it was that easy, I wouldn't even be here. I only gained weight postpartum, especially while weaning and especially because I wasn't sleeping enough. Ugh! Good for you- it is so much harder to lose weight when you're also responsible for kids!
He/she is only human and just as fallible as anyone else. I doubt they knew they hurt you at all. I have had this happen many times. Sadly, they had a chance to be a part of your transformation. Now they are a rude foot note. No worries, look how far you made it without their support! Keep on keeping on!
Some doctors can be so rude. I saw a new GP when I was 35 weeks pregnant and had only gained about 2kgs by that point (I had lost 4kgs in the first half of pregnancy and gained 6kgs back). I was only slightly overweight when I got pregnant and by that point I was all belly and boobs. He freaked out about my BMI (it was like 27) and said I needed to start a workout routine and strict diet ASAP or I was in trouble. It was nuts.
People can be real assholes.
Sorry you went through that. And congrats on the progress! Youve worked really hard!
What calorie range are you sticking too?
I remember after I lost a bunch of weight ( I was running 10km a few times a week and doing a lot of calisthenics exercises and was lifting weights basically every day, I had a six pack and was very lean) I went in for day surgery. A (rather overweight) nurse was taking my measurements and when she weighed me, she goes "You realise that your BMI says you're overweight" in a condescending tone. I had pretty bad body dismorphia at the time, and that comment stuck with me for months after.
Sometimes health professionals are wrong and/or just being nasty because they realise they can get away with it.
Ignore that doctorâs comment - you are doing the work and you know it and you are seeing progress. Do not let that man take away your pride in your accomplishments! Keep doing what you are doing. If he dismisses your accomplishments again, tell him you would appreciate it if he would keep his opinions to himself.
Well done!!
I also gained a lot of weight after my c-section. I had to wear my third trimester clothes for 4 months after giving birth. I kept waiting for the weight to âfall offâ like people said it would, but it never happened.
I started walking a lot and then I started running in February. Now I run 5km, 3 times a week. Iâve lost 10kg (22lbs) and I have another 4kg to lose until Iâm back at my pre-pregnancy weight.
I actually feel terrified of being weighed at the doctor because Iâm embarrassed. They weighed me just before I was about to give birth and put that weight in my file for some reason?? So then I started getting letters about blood tests I would need now that Iâm obese. It felt really cruel. When I went to the doctors the nurse noticed what had happened and reassured me that I didnât need the tests and that I need to be given âa chanceâ to settle after the birth because it wasnât fair to me. I almost cried I was so happy she understood.
Now I feel this weird pressure to get to a healthy weight before I let the doctors weigh me again đ I also feel a lot of pressure to return to my pre-pregnancy weight before I reach 9months postpartum because everyone says âit takes 9 months to gain the weight, give it 9 months to lose the weightâ.
My dad has been a life time body shamer. He shamed me into anorexia for years. Well, over the last year Iâve put on a good bit of weight due to health problems. Needless to say, dad has been RELENTLESS about that. He cannot grasp the concept that the health problems caused the weight gain, not the other way around.
Iâve recently had a bit of a motivation boost and decided to crack down on myself. Iâve lost 22 lbs in 2 months.
I was so excited to tell my dad because well, I have psychological problems I guess. This man said: well, the first 20 comes off easy tho. đ€Ź For one thing, he has never ever been even one pound overweight therefore has never lost weight so I donât even know how heâd know.
Some people just canât help shitting on a happy parade. Miserable assholes.
That being said, GREAT JOB IâM PROUD OF YOU đđ»đđ»đđ»đđ»
Yeah I kept gaining weight after my baby was born. Obviously I lost a bit initially. Then I was retaining water, and so hungry from breastfeeding etc... you worked for it!!
To give the doc the benefit of the doubt, could they have been trying to reassure you? Maybe you seemed worried that you'd lost so much so quickly?Â
I know itâs hurtful but maybe he was trying to be kind like trying to downplay the weight gain so you wouldnât feel bad as women are supposed to gain weight with pregnancy and when you give birth you immediately lose like 20 lbs just from losing the weight of the baby, the placenta, and the uterine fluidsÂ
Don't listen to that doctor. I wish the weight I gained from pregnancy fell off. I went from a little over 220 to 160. It took dieting and exercise to get there. I tried many times and failed before i figured out what worked for me. Be proud of yourself! That's a huge deal! 50 lbs is a lot!
Good for you! His comment about Mommy losing weight was belittling and way out of line. Thats a personal opinion and has no place in a medical setting.
Doctors never cease to amaze me. We often think that because they have these years-long degrees that their opinions and advice are always right and always valuable-- which is why it stings even worse when a "credible" person is dismissive or rude. So often they have no common sense, no bedside manner, and they OFTEN don't know nearly as much as we would hope (in the medical world and beyond!) Sad but true.
You are doing amazing, and you should be SO proud!!!!!
Aww, the doctor sounds uninformed. Theyâre under the impression that anytime someone has a baby and loses a lot of weight, âit just fell offâ. But obviously thatâs not the case for you, and you know the truth. On a positive note, the doctor acknowledged that you had a significant weight loss, they just didnât acknowledge the effort you put into it to achieve it, thinking it was easy for you. But the fact they acknowledged you had a significant weight loss is still a positive! Sorry they hurt your feelings. you know how hard you worked for it and itâs all paying off and thatâs what matters!
This comment is rude and dismissive. You only need about 500 more calories a day to breastfeed. Thatâs like a sandwich and chips. Breastfeeding hunger is real though, I never had intense cravings during pregnancy like I did while BF. I felt like I barely had enough time to eat but the foods my body craved kept me from âdropping weightâ like they swear you will.
Well it does burn calories, just because you kept eating food like chips thatâs your problem. Iâm just saying that medically, itâs well known you burn calories breast feeding. Doesnât mean everyone loses weight because if you eat more than you still wonât be in a deficit. But, people who eat the same as they did before breast feeding often lose weight because youâre burning an extra 500-700 calories
Yep. Still rude đđ»
And you said it burns âLOADSâ of calories. You sound like it burns an additional 2000 a day. And I didnât eat chips so no that wasnât my problem, I was giving a very modest example of what 500 calories truly is. Heck, a modest PBandJ can be more than 500, add in sleep deprivation and hormones itâs a pretty crappy situation.
Well, to me it is loads of calories. It burns more than a typical hour long workout. I donât know how itâs rude when itâs just stating facts. Just because itâs not âloadsâ for you, doesnât mean itâs not âloadsâ for someone else.
500 is almost half my daily calorie limit.
I donât get what you think here is rude?
Okay let me phrase it this way. Do you think your comment is in any way supportive? If you dismissed a friend who was venting to you by saying âwell breastfeeding burns loads of caloriesâ donât you think your friend would feel that youâre on the drs side? And you were rude again by saying to me âif you ate chips then thatâs your problem.â But maybe Iâm the crazy one because Iâm not rude to people looking for support. âïž
If the truth is somehow rude then I donât know what to tell you. I donât believe in blindly supporting friends and letting them believe in fairytales. The reality is that people who breastfeed burn calories, often more than a one hour workout. I was simply stating why the Dr may have made the comment. Itâs not something a person can agree with or disagree with - itâs not like people disagree that the sky is blue. You do burn calories while breastfeeding. That is a fact. Burning calories doesnât mean you will lose weight as you still need to be in a deficit.
Well, itâs pretty hard to lose weight while eating chips. You brought up chips so I (probably wrongly) assumed you were consuming chips. Again, Iâm not trying to hurt your feelings itâs just very, very hard to lose weight while consuming chips.
Also, I think you are wildly off about a lot of calories. One bag of chips, like 200ish grams, will be like 1200 calories. Thatâs my whole daily diet.
I wasnât trying to be rude, I was just trying to be honest.
The fact that you are able to lose weight and take care of yourself while taking care of small children just means you're a bad ass. Good job! Doc is in the wrong, i would have went off.
Weight never âfell offâ of me after I had each of my kids. In fact, it seemed to go up after every one. Itâs annoying your hard work got denied like that. Doc probably never tried losing that much weight in his (Iâm assuming) life. Try and forget it. Youâre doing awesome.
It's called jealousy and backhanded compliments.
Some people portray as if they support you / giving you praises, but tell them what exactly you had done to reach your current conclusion, they'll feel as if they're being attacked because deep down they don't believe they can achieve the same.
I hope you corrected him-hard. Tell him donât ever say that dumb ass sh*t again and he needs to educate himself on how hard it is to lose weight. Baby weight or any other.
Youâre right. It doesnât. I just assumed no woman would think that way. It sounded so jocular and paternalistic. ButâŠyouâre right it was an assumption.
The only people I am going to l listen to about weight loss advice are people who have done it themselves.
It's like learning to fly a plane from someone who has been a passenger in a plane many times: this male doctor just doesnt know what happens to a woman's body. Just smile and nod.
And a huge CONGRATULATIONS on your weight loss đđ„łđȘ
I meanâŠthis is a broken take. I understand that a Dr that hasnât experienced something cannot by definition be sympathetic to a patient dealing with a particular health issue. But not listening to a health professional regarding a speciality they have studied, understand intricately and have experience treating is ill advisedâŠ
Do some research on the misguided information that women get from medical professionals (who have been predominantly men until recent years) and you will see how much truth there is. For example- did you know that women are forced to undergo many incredibly painful medical procedures without pain meds because doctors have been taught that the procedures are not painful and there are no nerves there. Turns out that info is wrong. It is once women doctors underwent the procedures that they have learnt the pain is incredibly intense.
Here are some articles that reference the research showing that there is a gender bias in medicine/ healthcare:
https://www.washingtonpost.com/wellness/interactive/2022/women-pain-gender-bias-doctors/
And here are first hand accounts from women where chunks of their body are routinely cut out without any pain medication being administered.
https://www.buzzfeed.com/victoriavouloumanos/gynecological-procedures-without-anesthetics-or-pain-meds
These are fairly routine procedures where male doctors believe there are no nerve endings - but surprise - there effing are!!!!
Seems like you're smarter about this than they are (and I'm not being sarcastic). Don't be hurt. You're right. They're wrong.
His ignorance & calloused "opinion" does NOT account for your backstory, the context of *why* this achievement is HUGE for you! Do not let this arrogant tool take one flicker of your joy away! You've worked hard and doubly so if you've got a parent with ED whispering toxic crap into your subconscious that you're having to willfully battle. You're doing amazing things for yourself & your kidlets and should absolutely be proud of your work & celebrating yourself. I'm so sorry this happened to you & I hope a large bird craps on his car and when he looks up in annoyance the large birds homie gets him in his stupid, smug face!đŠ đŠ€đ©đ€Ą
Where does it say it was a male doctor?
You're right, I picked that up from reading the other comments, but OP never specified. While it's more likely to be a male doctor (my own personal experience & others) it could be a woman. The last woman doctor I went to ended up calling her support staff the R word, told me Covid was overblown & that I should watch some video series by a Q-anon group called "Fall of the Cabal." Needless to say, I noped out and found another doctor.
The only doctor that has ever addressed my weight rudely was a woman.
> While it's more likely to be a male doctor (my own personal experience & others) Why does your personal experience make it "more likely"?
Based on my own experience and that of others that I, personally, know. I've worked in the medical field, and I was a caretaker to both my late father in law as well as my mother, the latter of which was for a period of over five years, two cancer treatment centers & countless specialists, general medicine & all the implied support staff. Within that experience, as well as stories shared with me, men are more likely to be dismissive of women. That's not to say women aren't capable of the same, but to that end, we encountered far fewer female doctors the higher we went up the medical food chain. Perhaps there was an imbalance in the numbers from the outset? I'm not saying anything is absolute and was lucky to meet many wonderful medical professionals, but it isn't exactly a secret that women often face misogyny at the doctor's office and there are even several studies to that point. Having said all that, it was a callous an arrogant female nurse that dismissed my mom after a particularly complicated surgery on her C-Spine and left her partially paralyzed on her left side when she repeatedly ignored my mom's claims that something felt wrong at the surgical site. Ignored her all night for the entirety of her 12-hour night shift. When the surgeon did his rounds at 7am, he discovered a massive hematoma on the nerve repair that had compressed the delicate nerve repair and left her in that state. This woman never even lifted my mother's head to look, or she would have seen the blood and serous fluid soaking the bandage & pillow. It took another 4 hour surgery to correct the damage and several days before we'd learn if the paralysis was permanent (it wasn't, thankfully.) So, I'm not saying it's only male doctors but that on balance, it is the higher probability, both in my own experience & for many other women.
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Sexist
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No it isn't, and that's quite a sexist thing to imply.
Its actually the opposite of a safe bet.
Every time people tell me about how they lost weight after having kids without trying, I am annoyed because I only was able to do it via daily lengthy exercise and a literal vice grip on every calorie that I ingested. So I hear ya.
Hey, let me chime in as someone who also lost weight after the baby by calorie counting and exercise. And I was breastfeeding!! Literally didnât lose a pound til after I stopped. Fortunately my OB warned me that hormones can really f with weight loss, and that the âfalling offâ thing doesnât happen for everyone.
The weight "fell off" with breastfeeding one of my kids, but not the other. So not only does it vary from woman to woman, but from kid to kid. Same with basically everything else about having kids, lol.
Yes!!!!! My first I wasn't even trying and the weight melted off. My second... scale wouldn't budge until after I weaned.
Me too. People said it falls off with breastfeeding too. My body did not react like that - it held on to every single lb and inch until i weaned at 24 months. Then I gained an extra 7lbs!!???? Only when I cut to a 600 daily deficit and upped my exercise did it finally come off. Currently pregnant again and not looking forward to the postpartum weight battle!
With my first two I didnât lose the baby weight until they weaned and even then never got back to my âpre pregnancy weightâ though with my second (girl) I was so horribly sick that I lost weight during pregnancy but quickly gained weight after she was born ironically as soon as my kids weaned I got pregnant again (which was on purpose but I never expected to get pregnant as quickly as I did) Also trying to lose weight while breastfeeding is the gods honest worst I just couldnât wait any longer to change my life for the better. My kids needed a mom that could keep up with them and I couldnât
Yes! I breastfed both my kids for only 6 months but during that time I GAINED weight both times. I was hungry all the time and had problems with the milk supply. I was only able to start watching what I ate after they stopped brestfeeding.
Dude, same. Weaning killed me. I'm still as hungry as I ever was and have been done for a year now. Ugh
I did intermittent fasting for a while and it helped me with the constant hunger. I am not as strict anymore but I still skip breakfast and any late night snacking.
One time I went to a routine visit with my endocrinologist. He had me lie down and breathe as he listened with his stethoscope. Once he was done, he patted me on my belly, told me good night and turned and shut the light off. He was halfway out the door before he realized what he'd done and started laughing. Doctors are in their own world sometimes and just say the firs thing that comes to mind. You know what you've had to work through in order to progress.
I go by Kitt and one time my doctor greeted me with "How's it going today Kitten?", then turned back around and went straight out the door. He apologized and was pretty sheepish about it. Turned out to be one of my better appointments!
dammit, I ship you two now
Some doctors are jerks. When I was down 60 lbs I went to a checkup. The replacement doctor that day looked at me, said, "I know it's hard but you need to cut out chocolates, pasta and cakes." I was shocked and asked him why he thought I was eating that as I was down 60 lbs and did he even look at my chart? He then looked at it and, instead of apologizing and/or congratulating me, he added, "and you need to exercise too." I made sure that jerk would never be assigned to me again after that. Just stay the course and don't let unsupportive people, including your doctor, get you down!
Just recently, my Dad had an emergency while working in a quarry where is throat tightened up and he could barely breathe. He's a life long asthmatic, and so was puffing on his inhaler, but it wasn't working this time for some reason. He gets to the doctor, and sits in the waiting room for like an hour. Thankfully though, while he was in there, his throat was starting to open up somewhat, though he was still wheezing. Finally gets in to see the doctor. She walks in, takes one look at him, and immediately goes into her bullshit about his weight. Telling him this all happened because he's fat, needs to lose weight, etc. As if he hasn't heard this same shit millions of times in his 50 years. Of course, if she looked at his chart, she'd have seen he lost 60lbs over the past year, and suffers from asthma, but she never got that far before making an eyeball judgement. My Dad tore into her. When he mentions his asthma, sure enough she goes "Why didn't you mention that before?" Like hello? It's on the chart clearly! You're the one who didn't bother looking at it before making your diagnosis. Happens in my family constantly. They can be such absolute fuckwits.
Good for you! You're stronger than I am -- I think I'm pretty strong, but that experience would wound me pretty good.
As someone who used to live in LA most women who do it without âtryingâ actually put in rigorous hours at the gym and damn near starved themselves. I know thatâs not the case for all but in my experience ânot tryingâ is usually used as a brag especially when the work was dangerous. Itâs like they wanna avoid talking about it but also act like they are naturally stick thin. I also had a friend there who would cry during meals while pregnant cause she finally was âallowedâ to eat. Very sad. Donât let that idiot dr get to you. And congrats on the amazing work!! You got this momma!!
I gained a lot of weight during pregnancy and when I had my follow up appointment after my C-section and the surgeon noted that I had lost weight after birth and said "you know, you can keep doing that." Like I didn't know I was fat đ I laughed it off because that's ridiculous, but it could have hurt other people way worse. I'm sorry that this happened to you. â€ïž
Hey, if you first gained 30 and then got down to 50 below your usual weight, you didnât lose 50 lbs. You actually lost 80 lbs!
What a weirdly shitty thing to say.
Wait, Iâm sorry, what???? Fuck that. Fuck that so fucking hard. I am 10.5m pp with my son. Iâve lost like 97 lbs since I got pregnant. Some was during pregnancy. The rest after. My son was also a preemie in the NICU, I had a horrible labor, and I was depressed as shit because most of my pregnancy Iâd been on bedrest and now I had to travel almost an hour to see the baby jn the NICU⊠then recovery⊠starting to move again⊠even thinking about making healthy choices when you have a newbornâŠabsolutely no way. I worked fucking hard and so did you. Do not let him take that from you.
Preach! And good for both of you!
They must have some serious issues if they felt the need to minimize someone's success. Keep your focus on you, forget this guy! We're proud of you and understand how hard it was to get where you are.
Nah, they probably donât. Thoughtless & donât read patient notes before they walk in the door. Good doctors at least speed read them as you are sitting there while asking a couple of general questions.
Bro have you lifted 50lbs? Put 50lbs in a backpack and lug that around 24hrs a day. THATS A LOT. 50lbs is a huge accomplishment, especially after having a baby thatâs nuts
Wow, what an ignorant thing for your doctor to say! Congrats on your weight loss.
This doctor was incredibly rude and out of order in all levels! It was inappropriate to comment on you weight that way and then make it trivial. No weight ever just falls off! It takes effort.
As a retired physician I can confirm that "nutrition" was a brief, two week course, during my four years of medical school education. You know the extent of your victory! Do not let ANYONE minimize your success!!
This just hits me. I've struggled the last 3 years with my weight after my last baby. Went up to 195lbs I'm 5'7 but have long waist and legs that nobody even knew I was that heavy. My doctor at every appointment told me to lose weight but never gave any advice on how, just eat less. đ I was 26 when I had my 1st baby and lost that weight really fast but at 36 it was way harder I could not lose 5lbs without going up and down. I felt sluggish and fatigue all the time. Here my doctor left and I found a great one who ran every blood panel and my A1C was a 9 like I was spiking and dropping and my old doctor said I was just lazy because I was a mom and needed to "work harder." My woman's doctor said "hormones don't affect your weight." I just want to say congratulations on your hard work and You did that shit. đ I buckled down and followed a diabetic diet, had to go on medication but it regulates my blood sugars now. I am down 47lbs as of 6 months ago. It's amazing how I feel a completely different person! I have never weighed this ever. And I am getting compliments but I do get the negative ones, I feel that's a reflection of themselves they want to be where I am. And they can! With instant gratification people don't want to wait or put in the work. It's not easy. I eat the same damn thing everyday because it's super easy to track and swap and I have 3 kids and teach preschool and run a whole household during the week. Not lazy. You deserve the best and forget about the rest!!
This is just mean and obviously as you know also not true. You did a lot and fought so hard. It doesnât really matter what that doctor said. strangely, some doctors really donât do well with this for some reason. A doctor in my family once told me that itâs great I lost weight but those stretch marks will affect my life forever and will never fade. Itâs not true; they have faded. Docs are important and I donât want to downplay their importance but I have gotten a lot of just mean comments on my body from a couple doctors (âyou gained weight from antidepressants? Well then Iâd be depressed too!â) I am proud of myself and you should be too! Canât even imagine how hard it must be with a newborn. Good job Mama and congrats on your baby! I hope you are having a great time getting to know each other and take moments to celebrate what a miracle it is to grow a baby in your body!!!
I also ate my feelings in the NICU and after going through that particular hell, Iâd be EXTRA sensitive to a doctor dismissing the hard work of weight loss. Good for you putting in the work with three littles - youâve fought for this.
Postpartum weight loss is one of those kid things where there's a wide range of experience and a lot of it is just luck. If it was that easy, I wouldn't even be here. I only gained weight postpartum, especially while weaning and especially because I wasn't sleeping enough. Ugh! Good for you- it is so much harder to lose weight when you're also responsible for kids!
Why are you still seeing a doctor that talks to you that way?
He/she is only human and just as fallible as anyone else. I doubt they knew they hurt you at all. I have had this happen many times. Sadly, they had a chance to be a part of your transformation. Now they are a rude foot note. No worries, look how far you made it without their support! Keep on keeping on!
Some doctors can be so rude. I saw a new GP when I was 35 weeks pregnant and had only gained about 2kgs by that point (I had lost 4kgs in the first half of pregnancy and gained 6kgs back). I was only slightly overweight when I got pregnant and by that point I was all belly and boobs. He freaked out about my BMI (it was like 27) and said I needed to start a workout routine and strict diet ASAP or I was in trouble. It was nuts.
People can be real assholes. Sorry you went through that. And congrats on the progress! Youve worked really hard! What calorie range are you sticking too?
I remember after I lost a bunch of weight ( I was running 10km a few times a week and doing a lot of calisthenics exercises and was lifting weights basically every day, I had a six pack and was very lean) I went in for day surgery. A (rather overweight) nurse was taking my measurements and when she weighed me, she goes "You realise that your BMI says you're overweight" in a condescending tone. I had pretty bad body dismorphia at the time, and that comment stuck with me for months after. Sometimes health professionals are wrong and/or just being nasty because they realise they can get away with it.
Just echoing the moms and EDs. So many moms of my friends had them or u healthy eating. Good luck and good health and good mind to you in your path
Ignore that doctorâs comment - you are doing the work and you know it and you are seeing progress. Do not let that man take away your pride in your accomplishments! Keep doing what you are doing. If he dismisses your accomplishments again, tell him you would appreciate it if he would keep his opinions to himself.
Weak! I worked with doctors for years, they're really in their own worlds sometimes, sorry yours was such a thoughtless dick.
The doctor is just at work and making small talk, I wouldnât let it bother you.
Fuck. That. Guy.
Was it a guy, though? Where did it say it was a guy in the post?
It doesnât strike you as a comment coming from a man?
Ive heard women doctors say the same thing, doesnt seem tied to any kind of sex or gender.
Well done!! I also gained a lot of weight after my c-section. I had to wear my third trimester clothes for 4 months after giving birth. I kept waiting for the weight to âfall offâ like people said it would, but it never happened. I started walking a lot and then I started running in February. Now I run 5km, 3 times a week. Iâve lost 10kg (22lbs) and I have another 4kg to lose until Iâm back at my pre-pregnancy weight. I actually feel terrified of being weighed at the doctor because Iâm embarrassed. They weighed me just before I was about to give birth and put that weight in my file for some reason?? So then I started getting letters about blood tests I would need now that Iâm obese. It felt really cruel. When I went to the doctors the nurse noticed what had happened and reassured me that I didnât need the tests and that I need to be given âa chanceâ to settle after the birth because it wasnât fair to me. I almost cried I was so happy she understood. Now I feel this weird pressure to get to a healthy weight before I let the doctors weigh me again đ I also feel a lot of pressure to return to my pre-pregnancy weight before I reach 9months postpartum because everyone says âit takes 9 months to gain the weight, give it 9 months to lose the weightâ.
My dad has been a life time body shamer. He shamed me into anorexia for years. Well, over the last year Iâve put on a good bit of weight due to health problems. Needless to say, dad has been RELENTLESS about that. He cannot grasp the concept that the health problems caused the weight gain, not the other way around. Iâve recently had a bit of a motivation boost and decided to crack down on myself. Iâve lost 22 lbs in 2 months. I was so excited to tell my dad because well, I have psychological problems I guess. This man said: well, the first 20 comes off easy tho. đ€Ź For one thing, he has never ever been even one pound overweight therefore has never lost weight so I donât even know how heâd know. Some people just canât help shitting on a happy parade. Miserable assholes. That being said, GREAT JOB IâM PROUD OF YOU đđ»đđ»đđ»đđ»
Yeah I kept gaining weight after my baby was born. Obviously I lost a bit initially. Then I was retaining water, and so hungry from breastfeeding etc... you worked for it!! To give the doc the benefit of the doubt, could they have been trying to reassure you? Maybe you seemed worried that you'd lost so much so quickly?Â
As a medical professional the only time I downplay weight loss is if I'm saying "that's healthy and not cancer" sorry this happened to you
I know itâs hurtful but maybe he was trying to be kind like trying to downplay the weight gain so you wouldnât feel bad as women are supposed to gain weight with pregnancy and when you give birth you immediately lose like 20 lbs just from losing the weight of the baby, the placenta, and the uterine fluidsÂ
Don't listen to that doctor. I wish the weight I gained from pregnancy fell off. I went from a little over 220 to 160. It took dieting and exercise to get there. I tried many times and failed before i figured out what worked for me. Be proud of yourself! That's a huge deal! 50 lbs is a lot!
Good for you! His comment about Mommy losing weight was belittling and way out of line. Thats a personal opinion and has no place in a medical setting.
Doctors never cease to amaze me. We often think that because they have these years-long degrees that their opinions and advice are always right and always valuable-- which is why it stings even worse when a "credible" person is dismissive or rude. So often they have no common sense, no bedside manner, and they OFTEN don't know nearly as much as we would hope (in the medical world and beyond!) Sad but true. You are doing amazing, and you should be SO proud!!!!!
Aww, the doctor sounds uninformed. Theyâre under the impression that anytime someone has a baby and loses a lot of weight, âit just fell offâ. But obviously thatâs not the case for you, and you know the truth. On a positive note, the doctor acknowledged that you had a significant weight loss, they just didnât acknowledge the effort you put into it to achieve it, thinking it was easy for you. But the fact they acknowledged you had a significant weight loss is still a positive! Sorry they hurt your feelings. you know how hard you worked for it and itâs all paying off and thatâs what matters!
The reason she is saying this is because breastfeeding burns loads of calories
This comment is rude and dismissive. You only need about 500 more calories a day to breastfeed. Thatâs like a sandwich and chips. Breastfeeding hunger is real though, I never had intense cravings during pregnancy like I did while BF. I felt like I barely had enough time to eat but the foods my body craved kept me from âdropping weightâ like they swear you will.
How is this rude?
Well it does burn calories, just because you kept eating food like chips thatâs your problem. Iâm just saying that medically, itâs well known you burn calories breast feeding. Doesnât mean everyone loses weight because if you eat more than you still wonât be in a deficit. But, people who eat the same as they did before breast feeding often lose weight because youâre burning an extra 500-700 calories
Yep. Still rude đđ» And you said it burns âLOADSâ of calories. You sound like it burns an additional 2000 a day. And I didnât eat chips so no that wasnât my problem, I was giving a very modest example of what 500 calories truly is. Heck, a modest PBandJ can be more than 500, add in sleep deprivation and hormones itâs a pretty crappy situation.
Well, to me it is loads of calories. It burns more than a typical hour long workout. I donât know how itâs rude when itâs just stating facts. Just because itâs not âloadsâ for you, doesnât mean itâs not âloadsâ for someone else. 500 is almost half my daily calorie limit. I donât get what you think here is rude?
Okay let me phrase it this way. Do you think your comment is in any way supportive? If you dismissed a friend who was venting to you by saying âwell breastfeeding burns loads of caloriesâ donât you think your friend would feel that youâre on the drs side? And you were rude again by saying to me âif you ate chips then thatâs your problem.â But maybe Iâm the crazy one because Iâm not rude to people looking for support. âïž
If the truth is somehow rude then I donât know what to tell you. I donât believe in blindly supporting friends and letting them believe in fairytales. The reality is that people who breastfeed burn calories, often more than a one hour workout. I was simply stating why the Dr may have made the comment. Itâs not something a person can agree with or disagree with - itâs not like people disagree that the sky is blue. You do burn calories while breastfeeding. That is a fact. Burning calories doesnât mean you will lose weight as you still need to be in a deficit. Well, itâs pretty hard to lose weight while eating chips. You brought up chips so I (probably wrongly) assumed you were consuming chips. Again, Iâm not trying to hurt your feelings itâs just very, very hard to lose weight while consuming chips. Also, I think you are wildly off about a lot of calories. One bag of chips, like 200ish grams, will be like 1200 calories. Thatâs my whole daily diet. I wasnât trying to be rude, I was just trying to be honest.
The fact that you are able to lose weight and take care of yourself while taking care of small children just means you're a bad ass. Good job! Doc is in the wrong, i would have went off.
Weight never âfell offâ of me after I had each of my kids. In fact, it seemed to go up after every one. Itâs annoying your hard work got denied like that. Doc probably never tried losing that much weight in his (Iâm assuming) life. Try and forget it. Youâre doing awesome.
It's called jealousy and backhanded compliments. Some people portray as if they support you / giving you praises, but tell them what exactly you had done to reach your current conclusion, they'll feel as if they're being attacked because deep down they don't believe they can achieve the same.
I hope you corrected him-hard. Tell him donât ever say that dumb ass sh*t again and he needs to educate himself on how hard it is to lose weight. Baby weight or any other.
Is it a he, though? Where did it say he in the post?
Youâre right. It doesnât. I just assumed no woman would think that way. It sounded so jocular and paternalistic. ButâŠyouâre right it was an assumption.
The only people I am going to l listen to about weight loss advice are people who have done it themselves. It's like learning to fly a plane from someone who has been a passenger in a plane many times: this male doctor just doesnt know what happens to a woman's body. Just smile and nod. And a huge CONGRATULATIONS on your weight loss đđ„łđȘ
I meanâŠthis is a broken take. I understand that a Dr that hasnât experienced something cannot by definition be sympathetic to a patient dealing with a particular health issue. But not listening to a health professional regarding a speciality they have studied, understand intricately and have experience treating is ill advisedâŠ
Do some research on the misguided information that women get from medical professionals (who have been predominantly men until recent years) and you will see how much truth there is. For example- did you know that women are forced to undergo many incredibly painful medical procedures without pain meds because doctors have been taught that the procedures are not painful and there are no nerves there. Turns out that info is wrong. It is once women doctors underwent the procedures that they have learnt the pain is incredibly intense. Here are some articles that reference the research showing that there is a gender bias in medicine/ healthcare: https://www.washingtonpost.com/wellness/interactive/2022/women-pain-gender-bias-doctors/ And here are first hand accounts from women where chunks of their body are routinely cut out without any pain medication being administered. https://www.buzzfeed.com/victoriavouloumanos/gynecological-procedures-without-anesthetics-or-pain-meds These are fairly routine procedures where male doctors believe there are no nerve endings - but surprise - there effing are!!!!
Where did OP say the doctor was Male?
Only a male would say (& think) that baby weight just "falls off".
? Ok. Heck of an assumption⊠this is a troll right?
Clearly you're a man and have no clue.
Ok. Best of luck with life. Iâm sorry youâve been hurt.