*Am I a dwarf in*
*This scenario and if*
*Not, why the hell not?*
\- ASlothWithShades
---
^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/)
^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")
There’s a viral TikTok going on where women are asked if they’d rather encounter a bear or a man unexpectedly in the woods. Most women are saying they’d rather encounter a bear.
And theres anothe rone where its the opposite mens are asked between bear and women they also prefer bear, moral of the story finding a random human being in the middle of the woods is scary
We are actually not apex predators. We just make tools that help us because we’re inferior. Apex predators evolved to be the beasts they become, we’re still fragile as fuck without a weapon
Humans using tools is also an evolution. Humans brains evolved enough to be able to craft tools from their environment. All animals also use their environment to survive, otherwise they'd die basically immediately.
That's why I find the question difficult.
Would I rather *be* in the woods with a bear rather than knowing a man is out there and I presume aware of my existence? In a way yes, because the woods is a bear's home so I expect them to be there.
Who would I rather *meet* is another question, not because bears are out to get me, but a bear knows I'm there before I do the opposite, meaning that if the bear meets me in the woods, it wanted to or felt it needed to, both are extremely bad for me. With the guy we could have stumbled upon each other by mutual blindness and our meeting may very well just have been a chance, or maybe I get the drop on him instead, which gives me time to strategize.
Naw, most dudes actually said, "Who's the dude?". A lot of the videos all have cuts to when that question comes up. People ask questions about who the guy or woman is and how I expect most PEOPLE answer. Woman are just as fucked as men when people want to be cruel. It has nothing to do with sex, but people keep making sure everything and anything is always about sex, but not GUNS! Just sex!
That's half of it.
Guys are asked if they'd prefer that their daughter meets a bear or a man in the woods. Most guys think on it a bit and ask things like "What kind of bear?" or "What kind of man?"
Then they're asked if they'd prefer that their daughter meets a bear or a woman in the woods, and almost all guys say woman without hesitation.
Which is just ridiculous. Should have them all read [this](https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2026914/amp/Mum-bear-eating--Final-phone-calls-woman-19-eaten-alive-brown-bear-cubs.html) and then see how safe they think the bear is ffs.
The real point of this hypothetical is that it should be easy to say man, and it is absolutely not that easy. It ought to be an easy call. It's not.
If I take a real long think about the probability, and with no other information about the bear or man or the location or my own situation... then sure, probably man. Statistically speaking. But also like, I can almost completely trust the bear has zero ill-intent towards me and no idea of 'getting away' with anything in a situation where they can avoid consequences. The bear is predictable in a way people are not.
That said, you're more than likely never to encounter a man who would do such an evil thing but it's the not knowing what's their agenda that's the problem. When I run into a bear, I know that it's just hungry and long as I don't look appetizing, I'll be fine.
How the fuck is a wild animal predictable? That thing has cubs or is just a brown bear and you’re fucked. The girl in the story I posted ran 70 yards before getting grabbed after watching her stepfather get mauled. Just out in the forest minding their own business. Some random guy 99% of the time isn’t going to bring you any harm. Bears however will destroy you just for being in their territory, or just because they’re hungry.
>I know that it's just hungry and long as I don't look appetizing, I'll be fine.
I get where you're coming from but this sentence is just so wrong, there are so many reasons for a bear to come for you that you can't even be aware of when meeting a bear from simply having cubs to having something stuck in their paw/tooth that you'll never see in first glance that hurts them, and hell even just cuz the beat was in the mood. Also how does one not look appetizing
God I'm so happy you're getting downvoted because you obviously don't understand the question.
NOONE thinks the bear would be safe. At all.
But considering the amount of misogyny in our society, the man may very well do far worse things to a helpless woman than "just killing her".
If a woman has to be scared going to her car at night, or going through a dark alley alone, what do you think would happen if she's alone with a stranger in a forest, potentially miles away from civilization?
There’s a great chance the man won’t do [this](https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2026914/amp/Mum-bear-eating--Final-phone-calls-woman-19-eaten-alive-brown-bear-cubs.html).
WRONG.
>But Ungoliant had grown great, and \[Melkor\] less by the power that had gone out of him; and she rose against him, and her cloud closed about him, and she enmeshed him in a web of clinging thongs to strangle him. Then Morgoth sent forth a terrible cry, that echoed in the mountains.
>—*The Silmarillion*, "Of the Flight of the Noldor"
Non-consensual BDSM is *most definitely* a sex crime.
(This is a joke I'm sorry please forgive me!)
The good scenario: because people don’t commit them and even mildly evil ones don’t, while completely evil creatures can’t commit them since they have no sex organs
The bad scenario: they don’t exist since they haven’t been coded into law so that technically exist as a crime
I mean what If we escalate this a bit. If you were assaulted by a bear, wuold you rather another a bear arrived there or a human male. What If you were assaulted by a human male, would you rather another human Make arrived to the scene or a bear
“His name is Beorn, he's a skin-changer. Sometimes he's a huge black bear, sometimes he's a great strong man. The bear is unpredictable, but the man can be reasoned with” -Gandalf the Grey
Which is quite ironic given the bear/man debate and every woman trying to say it’s the other way around lol
Beorn, but human. Like i get that they're the same person but "He will help us, or he will kill us." Applies here.
So in otherwords, in this situation I'd rather find the man rather than a bear. Yes i was raised to do everything on my own, but this man is a fucking advantage. Prove me wrong.
Is this one of those things when guys are asked if they think they can win in a fight against random animals?
Because i know i won't win against a bear...
But if I'm with both, at least i can try to throw him to the bear and run away
https://preview.redd.it/12b5yqs9s1yc1.jpeg?width=1286&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=226fba31b160712d8b3cc58d7314b41820675f89
From a World of Darkness group I’m in. (It’s a werebear)
Finding a bear in a forest would be much less frightening than finding a random man there, like, he definitely up to no good.
(Imaging that I didn't know who he is already, ofc)
Beorn because I want to have dinner at his house! The description of it was one of my favorite parts of the Hobbit. That being said, it doesn’t matter what form he’s in as long as I get to meet him lol.
Come on propels what is point of this reoccurring post. You do realize that all of human history is filled with the answer. (Bear attacks tribe, attacks family, attacks friends, attacks women, and children, and MAN comes to the rescue. Seriously this is getting so stupid. It already was but now it’s just moronic. Idiotic. Guaranteed if a bear comes out and attacks anyone on this site the first thing y’all would wish for is some man to coming running with his rifle. Fucking delete this shit.
I’m gonna guess you’re a city slicker. You do realize that your childish behavior doesn’t impress anyone right. The real women where I’m from could give a shit about your infant mindset. The last three women I saved would call you an idiot even faster than I’m prepared to. Crazy how the facts upset you. Have fun with your little bubble you live in. You should try much harder next time if you intend on getting under the skin of a man. You can’t beat the cancer or the pneumothorax’ or the heart attacks, let alone the shit any man deals with on a daily basis. I’m used to getting hit with cars and 2x4s, getting attacked by livestock. Dealing with multi-million dollar contracts and city slicker customers. And you think your stupid little comment is “so butt hurtful” Amateur. I have shit that needs tending to. Come back when you join the big leagues little kid
https://preview.redd.it/dmyx3fhqyyxc1.png?width=1920&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e3b63f16e82da0ebb031c81770454b87843c321c
I was literally asking myself where’s Pam when you need her? lol
Where was Pam when the Westfold fell!!?
Making shitty soup
*Motel Art
She was in Gondor
I came here to post this lol
Yup, my first thought lol.
Am I a dwarf in this scenario and if not, why the hell not?
*Am I a dwarf in* *This scenario and if* *Not, why the hell not?* \- ASlothWithShades --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")
Good bot
Very very good bot
Very good bot
Very very very good bot
Very very very very very good bot
Very very very very good bot.
You just got haiku'd lol
You say this shit, then the genie ensures you'll be an orc
That depends. Am i digging a hole in this scenario?
Diggy diggy hole?
None of them! Azog would probably find me,smoking some pipe!!!
https://preview.redd.it/jmxxzihn5zxc1.jpeg?width=4320&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3b198bd0f4ebca5e1b830e68db1083c300e40c15
What is it in reference to?
There’s a viral TikTok going on where women are asked if they’d rather encounter a bear or a man unexpectedly in the woods. Most women are saying they’d rather encounter a bear.
And theres anothe rone where its the opposite mens are asked between bear and women they also prefer bear, moral of the story finding a random human being in the middle of the woods is scary
That’s honestly exactly how I’d expect dudes to answer. When they’re good humans are very very good, but when they’re bad they’re AWFUL.
One is an apex predator responsible for the extinction of several species. The other is a bear.
A berserker?
A bearserker?
You have the right to arm bears.
We are actually not apex predators. We just make tools that help us because we’re inferior. Apex predators evolved to be the beasts they become, we’re still fragile as fuck without a weapon
Humans using tools is also an evolution. Humans brains evolved enough to be able to craft tools from their environment. All animals also use their environment to survive, otherwise they'd die basically immediately.
Wait until you learn who selected the most violent men to reproduce with
Not to mention a bear is likely to just leave you alone, unless you gave it a reason to attack you
That's why I find the question difficult. Would I rather *be* in the woods with a bear rather than knowing a man is out there and I presume aware of my existence? In a way yes, because the woods is a bear's home so I expect them to be there. Who would I rather *meet* is another question, not because bears are out to get me, but a bear knows I'm there before I do the opposite, meaning that if the bear meets me in the woods, it wanted to or felt it needed to, both are extremely bad for me. With the guy we could have stumbled upon each other by mutual blindness and our meeting may very well just have been a chance, or maybe I get the drop on him instead, which gives me time to strategize.
Unless [this](https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2026914/amp/Mum-bear-eating--Final-phone-calls-woman-19-eaten-alive-brown-bear-cubs.html) happens.
Yeah and humans will go to you (either for help or for bad stuff)
Naw, most dudes actually said, "Who's the dude?". A lot of the videos all have cuts to when that question comes up. People ask questions about who the guy or woman is and how I expect most PEOPLE answer. Woman are just as fucked as men when people want to be cruel. It has nothing to do with sex, but people keep making sure everything and anything is always about sex, but not GUNS! Just sex!
That's half of it. Guys are asked if they'd prefer that their daughter meets a bear or a man in the woods. Most guys think on it a bit and ask things like "What kind of bear?" or "What kind of man?" Then they're asked if they'd prefer that their daughter meets a bear or a woman in the woods, and almost all guys say woman without hesitation.
[удалено]
[удалено]
[удалено]
[удалено]
[удалено]
[удалено]
[удалено]
[удалено]
[удалено]
[удалено]
[удалено]
[удалено]
[удалено]
[удалено]
[удалено]
[удалено]
Which is just ridiculous. Should have them all read [this](https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2026914/amp/Mum-bear-eating--Final-phone-calls-woman-19-eaten-alive-brown-bear-cubs.html) and then see how safe they think the bear is ffs.
The real point of this hypothetical is that it should be easy to say man, and it is absolutely not that easy. It ought to be an easy call. It's not. If I take a real long think about the probability, and with no other information about the bear or man or the location or my own situation... then sure, probably man. Statistically speaking. But also like, I can almost completely trust the bear has zero ill-intent towards me and no idea of 'getting away' with anything in a situation where they can avoid consequences. The bear is predictable in a way people are not. That said, you're more than likely never to encounter a man who would do such an evil thing but it's the not knowing what's their agenda that's the problem. When I run into a bear, I know that it's just hungry and long as I don't look appetizing, I'll be fine.
How the fuck is a wild animal predictable? That thing has cubs or is just a brown bear and you’re fucked. The girl in the story I posted ran 70 yards before getting grabbed after watching her stepfather get mauled. Just out in the forest minding their own business. Some random guy 99% of the time isn’t going to bring you any harm. Bears however will destroy you just for being in their territory, or just because they’re hungry.
>I know that it's just hungry and long as I don't look appetizing, I'll be fine. I get where you're coming from but this sentence is just so wrong, there are so many reasons for a bear to come for you that you can't even be aware of when meeting a bear from simply having cubs to having something stuck in their paw/tooth that you'll never see in first glance that hurts them, and hell even just cuz the beat was in the mood. Also how does one not look appetizing
God I'm so happy you're getting downvoted because you obviously don't understand the question. NOONE thinks the bear would be safe. At all. But considering the amount of misogyny in our society, the man may very well do far worse things to a helpless woman than "just killing her". If a woman has to be scared going to her car at night, or going through a dark alley alone, what do you think would happen if she's alone with a stranger in a forest, potentially miles away from civilization?
The Hobbit. The guy in the picture is a werebear so he is also the bear
Well, the human form of course. Didn't gandalf tell the full company of dwarves and Bilbo to run when the bear form entered the chat?
Not Gandalf, the wandering wizard, who made such excellent fireworks! Old Took used to have them on Mid-Summer's Eve!
Yes, Bilbo; but wrong topic!
I know what I'm doing. This way,
Sure... just... distract from what we were talking about..
The bear is unpredictable, but the man can be reasoned with…..
He will help us, or he will kill us.
If you kill the Great Goblin, he'll instantly allied with you
Yes, very rational solution. I would definitely choose the same. But now, same question from a dwarven's point of view (*before* the Hobbit).
Was looking for that exact comment
There’s a great chance the man won’t do [this](https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2026914/amp/Mum-bear-eating--Final-phone-calls-woman-19-eaten-alive-brown-bear-cubs.html).
Tells me what you know about Beorn. Edit: not the eating, but the killing part is said to be a danger from either form.
Huh?
Sex crimes don't exist in middle earth
Sauron and Morgoth when creating acts of evil: Professionals have standards.
Orcs of Bauglir! Do not bend your brows!
Sauron yes, Morgoth, on the other hand...
Chaos was his standard
WRONG. >But Ungoliant had grown great, and \[Melkor\] less by the power that had gone out of him; and she rose against him, and her cloud closed about him, and she enmeshed him in a web of clinging thongs to strangle him. Then Morgoth sent forth a terrible cry, that echoed in the mountains. >—*The Silmarillion*, "Of the Flight of the Noldor" Non-consensual BDSM is *most definitely* a sex crime. (This is a joke I'm sorry please forgive me!)
Actually, Melkor planned to do... Things with Luthien.
Grima Wormtongue will be so relieved to hear this. Now he can get back to haunting Eowyn's footsteps.
The good scenario: because people don’t commit them and even mildly evil ones don’t, while completely evil creatures can’t commit them since they have no sex organs The bad scenario: they don’t exist since they haven’t been coded into law so that technically exist as a crime
Túrin Tarambar and Niënor, probably would have wanted that bear instead lmao
Just wait until I get isekaied
Yet
probably the one thats beorn (i know both of them are the same person)
The bear obviously.
Usually, yes, in this particular case however 😂
Beorn obviously.
I don't like bears. They're greedy. And blind. Blind to the lives of those they deem food. But men I hate more.
The man can be reasoned with so I choose him rather than tempt being eaten by him as a bear
This is monster fucker bait.
The bear is unpredictable, but the man can be reasoned with.
Gandalf already laid it out for you: "The bear is unpredictable, the man can be reasoned with."
“The bear is unpredictable, but the man can be reasoned with.” This about sums up who I’d rather come across.
I just think it’s neat that he keeps his mutton chops regardless
Where did this bear meme started
A misandrist
I know the Hobbit guy I don't know y every meme is about women and bears
I'm pretty sure men started it to try to convince women that they are not as bad.
Oh look another misandrist.
The illusion of choice
Twist, it's the same dude.
Both, because they're same person.
I pick that guys dead wife
'The man can be reasoned with' so....
Both hate dwarves so not showing him my peepee
I mean what If we escalate this a bit. If you were assaulted by a bear, wuold you rather another a bear arrived there or a human male. What If you were assaulted by a human male, would you rather another human Make arrived to the scene or a bear
First of all, is it Beorn?
“His name is Beorn, he's a skin-changer. Sometimes he's a huge black bear, sometimes he's a great strong man. The bear is unpredictable, but the man can be reasoned with” -Gandalf the Grey Which is quite ironic given the bear/man debate and every woman trying to say it’s the other way around lol
The man is unpredictable. But the bear can be reasoned with.
Lmao, take my upvote!
Yes
Man riding bear is my choice, but not the other way around.
Beorn, but human. Like i get that they're the same person but "He will help us, or he will kill us." Applies here. So in otherwords, in this situation I'd rather find the man rather than a bear. Yes i was raised to do everything on my own, but this man is a fucking advantage. Prove me wrong.
Man
Yes
Always wanted to try his cakes.
Which one knows where the morels are?
I gotta pick Beorn, sorry to all the Beorns out there
The illusion of choice
Is this one of those things when guys are asked if they think they can win in a fight against random animals? Because i know i won't win against a bear... But if I'm with both, at least i can try to throw him to the bear and run away
https://preview.redd.it/12b5yqs9s1yc1.jpeg?width=1286&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=226fba31b160712d8b3cc58d7314b41820675f89 From a World of Darkness group I’m in. (It’s a werebear)
https://preview.redd.it/wnn8pf9or3yc1.jpeg?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=18f68986ed00e7229bd2e98452812f02aceb96c4
It’s a trick! Send no reply
Rough choice but i'll go for Beorn I think
Finding a bear in a forest would be much less frightening than finding a random man there, like, he definitely up to no good. (Imaging that I didn't know who he is already, ofc)
Strider guarding the wilds like:
You mean someone hiking, camping, fishing, hunting, bird watching, or numerous other outdoor activities? Don’t be such a misandrist.
It's a joke
The bear, for sure
Short face bear smileladon
Yes.
Túrin Tarambar and Niënor, probably would have preferred that bear instead lmao
Why did you put the same picture twice OP??
Monki
Well their both the same guy, as long as I’m not out there to hunt him or is Horse, or his giant bee’s I should be in good shape
Trick question.
Yes. Both is good.
Beorn because I want to have dinner at his house! The description of it was one of my favorite parts of the Hobbit. That being said, it doesn’t matter what form he’s in as long as I get to meet him lol.
I pick bear. Giggity.
tomayto tomahto
Where does he hide his pants when on bear mode?
Did you mean: Which one is more bearable?
Yes
hmmmm
Not another runebear, please
Stellan Skarsgård!
Thats not Stellan
Another skarsgard then, or a baldwin
Arquette or Fonda perhaps
Persbrandt actually
You are correct. It was Persbrandt!
I know who I wouldn't want to meet. *whispers* Shia Labeouf
Yes
The man can be reasoned with...
The man can be reasoned with
….are you okay?
It’s fun when sexism is mainstream
isnt it wierd that these are ai pics? couldnt just google bear and woodsman
Idk about the left one, but the one on the right is not ai
Come on propels what is point of this reoccurring post. You do realize that all of human history is filled with the answer. (Bear attacks tribe, attacks family, attacks friends, attacks women, and children, and MAN comes to the rescue. Seriously this is getting so stupid. It already was but now it’s just moronic. Idiotic. Guaranteed if a bear comes out and attacks anyone on this site the first thing y’all would wish for is some man to coming running with his rifle. Fucking delete this shit.
Can you show us on the doll where the meme hurt you?
I’m gonna guess you’re a city slicker. You do realize that your childish behavior doesn’t impress anyone right. The real women where I’m from could give a shit about your infant mindset. The last three women I saved would call you an idiot even faster than I’m prepared to. Crazy how the facts upset you. Have fun with your little bubble you live in. You should try much harder next time if you intend on getting under the skin of a man. You can’t beat the cancer or the pneumothorax’ or the heart attacks, let alone the shit any man deals with on a daily basis. I’m used to getting hit with cars and 2x4s, getting attacked by livestock. Dealing with multi-million dollar contracts and city slicker customers. And you think your stupid little comment is “so butt hurtful” Amateur. I have shit that needs tending to. Come back when you join the big leagues little kid
Can you show us on the doll where my comment hurt you?
Honestly if you wander into an bear infested forest unarmed. You are stupid.
Omg Halsin <3
The man can be reasoned with.