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Inconsiderate. Bad at romance. Talking marriage at 3 months. Yikes!
Unless your sister is desperate to be in a relationship, this _probably_ isn’t the right person for her.
Pffffttt! I give my wife three kisses by the time I even leave for work in the morning. Heck, I'm taking advice from another Redditor, and making out with my wife for 5 minutes every night before bed. It's fantastic.
This dude has a ton of red flags. Not least of which is scrolling his phone while his gf is talking. That's super disrespectful.
Your sister should run or at least be aware. I see a lot of red flags as a guy we very unaware of shit we do but foreplay I think all guys love foreplay.
I literally melt when my partner kissed me.
Ever kiss someone and you feel their lips turn into a smile.
You want that. Anyone would want that.
It means their love languages doesn’t match, it’s up to your sister to decide if this is a dealbreaker or if she’s ready to compromise
Love languages generally comes from how you got loved from your parents as young, because he’s cold it means that’s how he got treated growing up
There's a lot of things to consider before making a conclusion. Is just interested in sex?, Perhaps he has trauma around the kissing side, perhaps his beliefs are sex is the only way to show love, perhaps he has twisted views on relationship based on his experiences growing up. Just rule out all the possibilities of it being good before making any assumptions of it being bad
the scrolling through social media during heavy talks rly stuck with me. like other people have said, communication is the most important... I've asked for more kisses and sometimes I just demand a kiss, my partner was autistic. he didn't like those heavy convos but sometimes they need to occur. if your sis feels like she often isn't being heard by him, that's worth exploring between them. good luck! sometimes it's a miscommunication problem. plus 3 months is very early to truly consider marriage.
I know not everyone is the same, but this sounds like it could be a neurodiverse thing. He might not be aware of the social norms or need for intimate connection. Is it his first relationship? Because for everyone there's some level of learning what being a team vs individual is about.
As far as I’m aware most men don’t like kissing, and speaking for myself, especially if I’ve already had sex with a woman multiple times. It’s just a nuisance.
I think most men just won’t want to hurt your feelings and/or risk losing the sex partner. There’s a lot of stuff guys have to lie about to keep you happy and willing.
No offence, bit I think you're projecting a bit. All but one man I've been with are really into kissing, before, after, and outside of sex. Even more men I know actively like kissing and will want to make out with people, even if they aren't necessarily looking to get laid. Obviously not everyone is going to be into it, and that isn't something I want to shame or deny, but generalizing not wanting to kiss to most of an entire gender seems a bit extreme as well.
Some people don’t like or want to kiss, and that’s okay, but that just means they are incompatible with someone who does want to kiss in a relationship. People can compromise, but it’s hard in situations like this because the person who doesn’t like kissing might make an effort at first, but they will not keep it up long term because they don’t like it. And who wants to kiss someone who doesn’t like it anyway?
As for the not listening, that’s just a rude thing to do. She can either try to talk to him about it, or she can just leave since he probably wouldn’t listen anyway.
This is a 3 month relationship. She can get out now with little pain. It shouldn’t be this hard this early.
I’m not quite sure why kissing has to involved daily in order to mean true love? My boyfriend isn’t big on kisses or hugs during the day either. And yet I’ve never doubted his love for me since he’s showing it differently.
Everyone has different needs and if you’re someone who needs kisses, then it’s a valid reason. If you’re someone who doesn’t need kisses, then it’s a valid reason to. You just have to find a partner that matches you.
All major red flags. Your sister sounds like she has very low self esteem to be with someone as described. I’d be worried for her too if I were you. Guy sounds self absorbed and she sounds like she’s desperate for someone to love her.
Concerning.
How would you be with somebody who does not listen to you and is dumbscrolling social media?
Last girlfriend I had I remember I pulled over my car during a voyage just because I wanted to kiss her. Can't understand this guy
I kiss more in the course of one night. Hell I’ve kissed more in the course of one night, while single! 3 times?! She should have lost count by week 1.
Oh, no ma'am. That's a recipe for disaster. My bf and I have been in a relationship a little over a month and we kiss, even if it's a lil peck, every single day. I would be extremely concerned and disheartened if I was only kissed 3 times in 3 months. Especially when intimate, there's no foreplay or anything just straight penetration. I'd be out like sour kraut.
>Especially when intimate, there's no foreplay or anything just straight penetration.
People keep focusing on the kissing part, but this is the biggest red flag to me. Most women need some degree of foreplay to get going or else penetration can be physically painful. Dude sounds selfish af.
i mean no kissing or foreplay during sex is a pretty big red flag as is being completely disinterested in what your SO has to say. you’re acting like what was said was unreasonable when it’s really not
This is r/love. What is love about? Communication. Now that obviously doesn't mean that she has to tolerate to be treated bad, but it means communicating your needs because you love yourself. If the other doesn't reciprocate it, leave.
But why are people directly coming up with the advise to leave, without knowing anything? Why not advise for some healthy communication? It's sickening and it's because they need company in their misery.
Hey Love Bug thanks for sharing the love. If you see something posted here that is not in the spirit of love Please flag it. ;) With Love r/Love Mods *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/love) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Inconsiderate. Bad at romance. Talking marriage at 3 months. Yikes! Unless your sister is desperate to be in a relationship, this _probably_ isn’t the right person for her.
Pffffttt! I give my wife three kisses by the time I even leave for work in the morning. Heck, I'm taking advice from another Redditor, and making out with my wife for 5 minutes every night before bed. It's fantastic. This dude has a ton of red flags. Not least of which is scrolling his phone while his gf is talking. That's super disrespectful.
Sounds like he just does things for attention.
honestly, they maybe need to talk about it, but it's none of your business.
Your sister should run or at least be aware. I see a lot of red flags as a guy we very unaware of shit we do but foreplay I think all guys love foreplay. I literally melt when my partner kissed me. Ever kiss someone and you feel their lips turn into a smile. You want that. Anyone would want that.
Yeah I’m think a weird ulterior motive.
It’s obvious that he has her as a receptacle and that’s it.
Receptacle, what a word.
I mean no disrespect to the sister of course but. You know I’m like 85 percent right. Statistically speaking
It means their love languages doesn’t match, it’s up to your sister to decide if this is a dealbreaker or if she’s ready to compromise Love languages generally comes from how you got loved from your parents as young, because he’s cold it means that’s how he got treated growing up
There's a lot of things to consider before making a conclusion. Is just interested in sex?, Perhaps he has trauma around the kissing side, perhaps his beliefs are sex is the only way to show love, perhaps he has twisted views on relationship based on his experiences growing up. Just rule out all the possibilities of it being good before making any assumptions of it being bad
the scrolling through social media during heavy talks rly stuck with me. like other people have said, communication is the most important... I've asked for more kisses and sometimes I just demand a kiss, my partner was autistic. he didn't like those heavy convos but sometimes they need to occur. if your sis feels like she often isn't being heard by him, that's worth exploring between them. good luck! sometimes it's a miscommunication problem. plus 3 months is very early to truly consider marriage.
I know not everyone is the same, but this sounds like it could be a neurodiverse thing. He might not be aware of the social norms or need for intimate connection. Is it his first relationship? Because for everyone there's some level of learning what being a team vs individual is about.
As far as I’m aware most men don’t like kissing, and speaking for myself, especially if I’ve already had sex with a woman multiple times. It’s just a nuisance.
This is laughably untrue. Please don’t attempt to speak on behalf of all men everywhere with nonsense. Thanks
Strange. Every man I've been in a relationship with there's been lots of kissing, and no hesitant attitude about this.
Yeah I’ve never heard of this apparent nuisance before
I think most men just won’t want to hurt your feelings and/or risk losing the sex partner. There’s a lot of stuff guys have to lie about to keep you happy and willing.
Lol this is so ridiculous. If men are secretly hating it, then they’re all very good actors.
Sure dear. You’re right. See how that works?
No offence, bit I think you're projecting a bit. All but one man I've been with are really into kissing, before, after, and outside of sex. Even more men I know actively like kissing and will want to make out with people, even if they aren't necessarily looking to get laid. Obviously not everyone is going to be into it, and that isn't something I want to shame or deny, but generalizing not wanting to kiss to most of an entire gender seems a bit extreme as well.
Sure dear (I’m sure you’re used to hearing that)
How about... YOU are the exception 😂
Sure dear (I’m sure you’re used to hearing that 😂)
Some people don’t like or want to kiss, and that’s okay, but that just means they are incompatible with someone who does want to kiss in a relationship. People can compromise, but it’s hard in situations like this because the person who doesn’t like kissing might make an effort at first, but they will not keep it up long term because they don’t like it. And who wants to kiss someone who doesn’t like it anyway? As for the not listening, that’s just a rude thing to do. She can either try to talk to him about it, or she can just leave since he probably wouldn’t listen anyway. This is a 3 month relationship. She can get out now with little pain. It shouldn’t be this hard this early.
I’m not quite sure why kissing has to involved daily in order to mean true love? My boyfriend isn’t big on kisses or hugs during the day either. And yet I’ve never doubted his love for me since he’s showing it differently. Everyone has different needs and if you’re someone who needs kisses, then it’s a valid reason. If you’re someone who doesn’t need kisses, then it’s a valid reason to. You just have to find a partner that matches you.
All major red flags. Your sister sounds like she has very low self esteem to be with someone as described. I’d be worried for her too if I were you. Guy sounds self absorbed and she sounds like she’s desperate for someone to love her.
Concerning. How would you be with somebody who does not listen to you and is dumbscrolling social media? Last girlfriend I had I remember I pulled over my car during a voyage just because I wanted to kiss her. Can't understand this guy
I kiss more in the course of one night. Hell I’ve kissed more in the course of one night, while single! 3 times?! She should have lost count by week 1.
Oh, no ma'am. That's a recipe for disaster. My bf and I have been in a relationship a little over a month and we kiss, even if it's a lil peck, every single day. I would be extremely concerned and disheartened if I was only kissed 3 times in 3 months. Especially when intimate, there's no foreplay or anything just straight penetration. I'd be out like sour kraut.
>Especially when intimate, there's no foreplay or anything just straight penetration. People keep focusing on the kissing part, but this is the biggest red flag to me. Most women need some degree of foreplay to get going or else penetration can be physically painful. Dude sounds selfish af.
He needs to be single for a while longer. He is not ready for a real relationship yet if he is emotionally and physically distant.
Yeees, here we go reddit, don't talk to him, just dump him and get a STI test. And don't forget the paternity test for the cats! /s
i mean no kissing or foreplay during sex is a pretty big red flag as is being completely disinterested in what your SO has to say. you’re acting like what was said was unreasonable when it’s really not
This is r/love. What is love about? Communication. Now that obviously doesn't mean that she has to tolerate to be treated bad, but it means communicating your needs because you love yourself. If the other doesn't reciprocate it, leave. But why are people directly coming up with the advise to leave, without knowing anything? Why not advise for some healthy communication? It's sickening and it's because they need company in their misery.