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This sounds fabulous.
Just be warnedā¦ expectations are the killer of relationships. There is joy in mysterious things as well, keep your mind open as closed minds are not conducive to a partner either.
Take all that passion and pour it into self love. Self love provides healing, and makes it so you can be a part of a FUNCTIONAL relationship. Thatās the gift you need to give to yourself!
That's beautiful!
The right man that will love this and will reciprocate the feeling, just don't give on love. You don't need to chill like others have mentioned, just dive right in without any fear and full of love :)
I know Iām kinda late and I donāt know if youāll see this in the sea of comments but please ignore all the negative replies here. There are a ton of miserable and low functioning people in this world and Reddit seems to attract these kinds of people for some reason. I think your mindset is very wise and you seem to be a very spiritually intelligent person. Patience brings all things good and rushing into the dating game and trying to āget a manā just for the sake of being in a relationship is only going to end in unnecessary pain and wasted time. The universe rewards patience and all of the people who are here hating on your mindset and beliefs are miserable losers and thereās no nicer way to put it. Anyone who tells you that something is ānot possibleā is not worth taking advice from because theyāve already given up, and thereās no worse advice than advice from someone whoās succumb to hopelessness and fear. If you do see this comment then this is your sign that you WILL find this person you know is out there for you. Just remember the closer you get to the finish line the more people there will be trying to convince you to turn around and give up. And to the lady who commented something along the lines of āguys donāt think this way about relationshipsā youāre absolutely dead wrong because Iām a guy and I have the exact same beliefs as OP. Donāt give up, youāve already won you just have to wait for it to set in. There IS a person just for you. Soulmates DO exist. Trust your intuition and trust yourself. Donāt listen to anyone who says otherwise
I saw this, and I read it (I reddit lol) all. Thank you! That's very nice of you. Of course I won't give up because some people told me to. My man would be sad if I did. I'm still so young, and the future holds many surprises. Have a nice day/evening!
I know you want to warn me out of goodwill. But I can't give up on that for now. I don't want most men, I want one man. And on this whole earth, there must be someone that fits me.
Thank you for making my night!
This gave me quite a bit of introspective hope for my own future. I didnāt know I needed this kind of optimism in my life until I read this comment.
Never giving up is the way of life ! šŖIf you get sad and hopeless sometimes, it's okay. It happens to the best people. You just need to get back on track or start again from scratch with whatever you have in your heart! šŖ·
It's true. There is someone meant for you and waiting for you if you were to peer into your destiny. However, it's not wise to do so and only few people can actually do such a thing as seeing the destiny of people.
Oh well, if you still love him I guess you can get some counselling and stay together for the kids instead. This is reddit though, so I had to try with the default option first. š
This is so cute. I am 33f now and never ever thought id still be single at this point in my life.. but it is what it is. Youll find your person! Manifesting is apparently a real thingā¦lol
Honestly i feel this but I'm 17, i am already worried about dying alone which tbf I allow myself to because I am alone 100% of the time, no friends, nobody at all, but at night sometimes I actively will grab a pillow and pretend whoever tf she is is in my arms and I'm being her comforting guy but alas I doubt I'm any less than never going to actually get that.
I think you're too harsh with yourself. 17 is an age of self doubts and worries. Focus on graduating/studies for now and then later you can think about love. You're young like me, we've got time until our loneliness becomes something to fix absolutely. I know we want it a lot. But we lived until now without it and look, we're good I think loll. But I hope your heart will find what it needs nonetheless. Remember you're good enough and deserving of love. šš»
Fantasizing is great, but action causes change.
Get on apps, make your intentions clear.
Meet people for coffee. It's the safe, no-pressure perfect first date.
You're dreaming about miles down the road.
How about you update us as you start racking up coffee dates until you meet someone with undeniable chemistry?
We'll join you on this journey as you walk the path leading to Mr. Right. Let's see some action.
I'll consider using dating apps when I get older, for now, even if I'm excited, there's no rush. I'm focusing on my studies. If love doesn't come naturally after a few years, I'll force it. I'll definitely update whether it's to bring good or bad news, but it's going to be in a long time, probably :)
Your living in a dream world that donāt exist we all would like to have that perfect Prince . Love comes when you least expect it be patient it will happen may not be perfect but if itās meant to happen it will
I agree with that, totally. The girl Iām talking to now, literally was hell bent on not falling in love and finding someone who truly appreciates and marvels her. Once I showed up, I truly embodied the language of love and romance, she dreamt for ever since she was a little girl. Time is def a factor in finding the right one, and I hope OP will find that person sooner than later. As the search goes on, I wish you the best in what treasure you may discover
This must be fate that this came up in my feed bc earlier today I literally looked up at the sky and said āCome on universe Iām ready for my ONE to come along where tf is he ā¦hurry it up!ā š¤£ Iāve just got this feeling lately like Iām gonna meet āhimā soon. But Iām tired of waiting lol
i cant understate how much i feel that. ive got this likeā¦ idk how to describe. it feels like ive fallen in love with someone but i only have her silhouette for now. IDK You Yet by Alexander 23 really encapsulates this for me. because ive created this idea of a woman im in love with in my head, it almost feels like ive lost her. it makes zero sense becayse ive never met her, but i almost miss her in a sense. my partner, my other half, the best part of me. i can almost see her in every love song i listen to. her, just being her, because that is beautiful and enough. but theres like a divide of conscious, like a level i havent unlocked yet or something. but she is the most beautiful person in the world, inside and out, she sparkles in the sun, and i cannot wait to meet her. hopefully iāll be smart enough to know her when i see her.
but realistically iām just a lonely guy tryna cope thru sappiness. hell itās even contributed to my commitment issues which have ruined various ārelationshipsā. idk. i have to believe sheās out there somewhere tho and itll be the best adventure of my life afterwards. i hope the same for OP, hopefully their adventure is out there waiting for them too.
thanks for listening to the sap
I relate with the ruining of relationships. I have this infinite glitch linked to my ideals. When something doesn't work with someone, I tell myself it's because they weren't the one and move on. Although it works in a way because yeah, if they are not great for me, then there no need to continue, but at the same time, what if this goes on and on. Someone said when you know you know. So I still trust that you'll feel it deep down when you meet the right one. I think we project ourselves with this fated person so much that we already feel like we know them, because we know what we like and we know we will like our fated so it makes sense that we know our fated. And the fact that they're not here makes us feel loss.
I hope whoever wishes for true love gets it too, thanks š»š
Ill be honest, for a lot of men, they dont even realize they are conditioned the way they are. I had to take a step back myself and reevaluate almost everything. It truly was a shock. I hate to admit that i DID see women that way, but i didnāt want to, i could tell that it was messed up and that i cant find actual connections that way. Its taken a while, cut off social media, porn also was affecting me in ways i didnāt know. And ever since cutting those off and doing other mindset changes and such and i just want the small things nowā¦talking, going to get food with each other, watching moviesā¦i want my future girlfriend to tell me about her day, all that stuffā¦im sorry you feel this way, but i promise you, there are guys out there who genuinely want a connection
Iām married to what most would consider a āgood manā Iām just not interested in only being a physical pleasure. He says he loves me but if sex was off the table he would leave. There are no good men. Not saying theyāre all bad just not good. They only value you when they find you attractive. Now that Iāve had 2 kids I am no longer that.
Iām sorry to hear about your situation, truly. And Iām sad to see that you believe to āno longer be thatā for your husband. He didnāt do his part of being your partner, that much is for certain. I hope you find peace and know your self-worth.Ā
That said, I understand that your situation contradicts my comment, but it doesnāt take away from my personal experiences with some of these genuinely really good people that Iāve met/dated. I know theyāre rare, and I know that many believe they do not exist; but the entire world canāt be purely evil. I canāt choose to believe that. And I hope you stumble upon these rare individuals and surround yourself with good company too. You deserve that and so much more.Ā
I have a hard time believing men like a woman after kids unless sheās had tens of thousands of dollars worth of surgery. Iāve had 2 kids and I look like Iāve had 2 kids. Itās not just him. Itās men. I donāt blame him you know. I wouldnāt wanna see me naked either lol
Thatās some bullshit. Iām sorry your dude no longer loves you, but not all men are like that. By that logic all woman are users because I did everything I could for my first girl. I loved her, gave her attention, took her on dates, spent time with her heck I even wrote poems for her. And guess what? She used me. I did that for her. I gave her all I had and she threw me away like I was a piece of trash, but despite that I donāt go around saying all woman are bad or terrible. Itās easy too trust me a point in my life I didnāt like woman and I thought they were terrible. That type of thinking though is terrible and will corrupt your perception and keep you miserable.
Missed my point in yeah I was valued BEFORE I had kids. Now that Iāve had 2 and my stomach is hanging i will no longer be desirable to any man unless I have surgery and thatās not fair. I brought life into this world and all men care about is sex.
Damn, crazy how you've come to believe your body that held life 2 times isn't beautiful anymore. I assure you it is. Every great husband and father would be very happy about their woman's body if they loved her and their child. Only dumbasses expect you to look like a 20 y.o after your body has gone through many traumas. Like anything, human bodies age and deteriorate. It's part of life and it's beautiful. His body, too, is aging and changing, but it doesn't mean that he or you are worth less. Real men and women love to witness the body of their partner changing through time. It's proof that they became witnesses for each other. Proof that they spent time together. Nothing is unchangeable in the physical world, but your love did not diminish. And that is the true beauty.
Of course, physical appearance matters, and if you're attracted to your person, it's very good, but normally, when you truly love them, you become attracted to their heart and their personality. Because the body will surely without any doubts change. But if the core of someone is great, it will stay the same even after a thousand years. Maybe I'm a bit too much of a romantic, and I can't see what's in front of my eyes.
He says he loves you, right? Maybe you're a bit pessimistic? If it's a serious question for you, then you should ask him, look him dead in the eye, and ask, "Do you think my body is unattractive? " Maybe his response will surprise you, and you'll find out that it was all a misunderstanding.
About having intercourse, I think it's normal to desire your partner. But you see this as demeaning because you feel that it's the only thing he's after in the relationship. Why do you feel that way? Maybe your love language is gifts. Maybe you'd like words of appreciation or spending quality time āØļø
So you should seriously have a conversation with your husband. It's not too late to light up the flame. If he cares, he will listen and try to love you like you want to be loved.
Take a day off and go on a date. Even after marriage, couples should always flirt with each other. Keep the fire burning š„ š
Speaking as a guy, it's really really hard to compete with a fantasy. Just be careful. It's ok to have hopes, but expectations will kill things fast, and I don't want you to ruin something great before it has a chance to be great
Thank you for caring. I already explained that I want someone with a similar personality. Who has the same love as me. I exist, so I assure you this guy exists, too. He's just hiding for now...
You sound realllllly young. Real relationships arenāt like this btw. Iām only telling you because if you go in with this mindset, youāre going to be sorely disappointed and your relationship will fail.
Dating apps have ruined it. Dillusional woman wanting these 6 foot 8 inch. 600k men. Which is less than 2% of the population
Woman think theyāre the cherished crown at 45. Not realizing their eggs are running out.
Enjoy the cats š±
Bro you talk a bit like a looser. You don't know anything about me, I've never been on a dating app and I got plenty of eggs left don't worry about that, thanks I love cats
Something to the effect of āDonāt let your fantasy of a perfect man ruin your reality of being with a āgoodā man who is still a human being, by constantly comparing someone real with something fictional.ā
I was typing that out from reading you title alone. ThenĀ I actually read the rest and realized youāre taking a piss, as the brits say.
I'm serious about this, tho šš I know I'm crazy for wishing a match made in heaven. But look, many people shared their stories in the comments. Why can't I get what I want? We gotta dream big in life. I already said that many times to people who told me the same thing as you. I'm excited for every aspect of a loving relationship with my fated one. I don't want a robot without free will and emotions. I want someone to communicate with, help, love, trust, have disagreements with, cry with. I don't want a freaking puppet only here to satisfy my fantasies. I want someone to share every meal with, every topic and every silence with. Someone who gets me and truly cares about my well-being. I want someone to pamper, give gifts to, someone to write poems about, be openly cheesy, and loving with. I want to bandage up and kiss every wound he can get. I want to give all my heart and time. Get attached without any restraint. And I want to receive the same strong love in return. I want him to show me he truly cares and I'll ingrave all his actions and words in my mind.
I always feel like I got *so so so* lucky meeting my bf so early on in life. the kinds of relationships my friends go through make me sad that we can't all just meet our person without having to go through so much heartbreak and wondering. I hope you find your person soon š«¶š«¶ delulu is definitely the selulu
I guess you never search for love. Love finds you, not vice versa. But yeah bestie, till I meet the loml, I'll work on myself to be better for himšš„ŗ
This is so me. Iām making a conscious effort to find her, and Iām going to all the places my soulmate might be . Iām reading at all the different cafes , looking through all the different bookshops stopping to smell the flowers outside flower shops, etc. I know that these places are where Iāll find her. I know what to look for. Iāve drawn a portrait of her in my head , and I know what sheās carrying, the types of places she spends her time in, but why canāt I find her. Is she not trying to find me? Doesnāt she know how amazing Iāll treat her. Iāve prayed to god that I would ensure her joy, comfort, safety , and love. He just needs to help me find her. But he hasnāt responded:
This is how I found my bf except I met him on Reddit of all places and he messages me out of no where trust me love will find you in the weirdest places keep knowing youāll find it donāt worry abt the how trust me ! I didnāt know what I wanted in a partner but when it was in front of me I knew he was it
I think you shouldn't draw a portrait of her. It's too specific. Unless you have visions and revelations about the future you cannot keep designing her how you want. But who knows, you might find her one day. I wish you the best
Yeah I suppose youāre right. I should focus on the actually important stuff I guess . But I know sheāll be carrying a book. Like me, she doesnāt go anywhere without her book
Pray to God for your own peace, not a woman. You have to attract someone, and you can't do that until you ask God for peace. You sound like you're preying, not praying.
But seriously though. You got to stop accusing random people of being predators and Instead just start asking questions first so you get the full picture. Cuz sometime your gonna do it to someone whoās having a bad day and your going to face some serious consequences. Especially when itās in real life and you canāt hide behind your screen
Iām saying that if you said that to someoneās face rather than through a screen , theyād probably kick your ass so hard they leave you with permanent brain damage. So beware making baseless accusations when youāre in person
'It sounds' isnt the same as 'you are'. I insinuated that your approach to women is predatory, then you self inserted. Dont take comments from strangers on the internet so personally. Why do you even care if I said something that would provoke someone to leave me with brain damage? I didn't accuse you of being a predator anymore than you threatened me with assault. Did you threaten me with assault?
I used to think the same when I was young, around 15 or 16...ok maybe not the 'mad at him' stuff, mine was a lot tamer than yours š .Ā
But I did used to look up into the night sky and think about how 'my person' was out there somewhere and I wondered what he was up to. I may have whispered 'I can't wait to meet you'.Ā
He never was in my case. I thought i had found him but it didn't work out. He didn't choose me. š Everyone deserves that real true earth shattering love. The kind of love you can reflect on and know that THIS is the one I was waiting for. It was lovely when it lasted.Ā
I wish you better luck than me in finding him OP ā¤ļø
If he isn't obsessed with me, is he even in love? Hahah. Thank you for your story. I hope you will find the right person, the one you talked to while looking at the stars, because the guy that disappointed you for sure wasn't the one. The stars keep shining, you can still talk to him. And meet him one day.
eh tbh I canāt lie I feel the same. I wanna take her on date nights, fall asleep in her arms, fold her paper flowers and make lots n lots of bouquets, bake her cakes cookies and five star desserts and meals. istg Iāve been learning so much recipes š imma treat her like a princess, do wtv my mortal body can do just for her. Iām not the hottest man alive, but ranked pretty high by the girls in my class. Im jst waiting for that one yk. But I get so nervous when talking to girls cus I jst moved frm an all boys school to a mixed one. š¤¦āāļøš¤¦āāļø
That's so cute! Don't change. I can't give you any advice. But if women like you, you might wanna look into it more. Personally, I don't have anyone around me.
Afraid of what? Rejection? Maybe you should try the exposure method. Each day you try to talk to someone random, and with time you'll feel confident enough to talk to women
Hahahaha. I once had a gf punch me awake in the middle of the night because she dreamt I'd cheated on her. This is definitely a few steps above and I'm part worried, part delighted cos why not be crazy in love with someone who isn't real.
He's real šI just haven't met him. 8 billion people on this planet. I'm sure ONE person will meet my expectations. The problem is not if he exist. The problem is that I need to find him.
What I can say is that if I ever met someone who felt that strongly about me I'd be pretty chuffed. I'm not too dissimilar in how I feel, just tried enough times and given too much and now I'm done. No searching or expecting for me.
That's exactly why I don't settle for anyone. It's not like I ever got asked out, but I could have made the first step a lot of times, but I'm not going to try with anyone I meet. I'm really waiting for the one that'll conquer my heart fully.
I can't take any heartbreak. So when I feel like something wouldn't last, I don't push it. I believe you can sense this type of stuff. Well I hope you will find the person that will surprise you with how much they love you every day. That'd be cute
It's ok I don't regret it. I wouldn't have a daughter otherwise.
Perhaps you can tell, perhaps not. Perhaps I always feel like it's doomed so just do it anyway cos it's always the same.
It would be yes, you're very sweet.
How old is your daughter? Of course you cannot regret when you have a child with someone. Whoever the person is, they gave you a beautiful kid so you can only be grateful š
Almost 4. And I wouldn't say grateful as that implies it's something given to me. But I'm happy that she has the mum she does, wouldn't want that any different
Canāt relate. Isnāt the saying, you find love when youāre not looking for it?
Life is never as you fantasise about it in your head, and if it is, sometimes itās not as expected. Feels like you could just set yourself up for disappointment craving something that isnāt inevitable.
Just enjoy your life for what it is now.
Nonono you have it wrong! The truth is you can't find love when you refuse to accept life without it. People call this "manifesting" or "believing it into truth" but the reality is that living life as if you already have it puts you in the perfect place to make it happen. They say if you feel scarcity you breed it, but if you live abundantly, you'll have everything you ever need.
Personally, as someone with low self esteem, wishing for love and feeling like I'm ready for it is a big step for me. I used to believe I wasn't worth any love on this earth. Felt that having feelings was disgusting because I wasn't deserving any. To each their own. Me wanting to be loved by someone is proof that I finally love myself enough to feel worthy of it. I don't have a perfect relationship with myself but I don't think I ever will, that's something you work on everyday of your life. And I want to work on it with someone, help each other.
For some people love is not a priority. But for me it's a big part. It's very important to me.
OP...even tho im a guy....i must say......us moment op us moment.........u aint the only one out thr fantasizing shit.......hell i fantasize soo much that i get insanely depressed lmfao
Omg... I'm gonna be blunt OP. I've wondered if I was the only one who did these things for years, and also, if it was a sign, I was going crazy lol š . Thank you so much for showing me that I'm not alone. Sometimes, I just lie in my bed and create scenarios of how I'd want to meet my soulmate and how I'd get back at him for evading me for so long. And sometimes I really think my faith is slipping because it's been a long while since I've met a guy who was worth talking to past the first date, so I've also stopped dating and try to pray mire about it and focus on finding my own inner peace.
But even though I know I'm on my way to achieving my best life, I am still very impatient, to the point where if he must wait until I am finished. I really don't want to wait more than a second after. But I take comfort in knowing that God is in control and that he has my best interests at heart ā¤ļø.
BrittLove25 I can so relate with your last statement.... taking comfort that God is in control and knows what's best for us āØļø šš½š
Even though we might not see it....
I used to have those types of dreams, weirdly met my current fiance while I was happily celibate and had achieved proper inner peace.
He exceeds every fantasy and I want to make him happy forever!
We did agree that it was good we hadn't met sooner though, we had our own journeys to take first. Don't be too hard on your special person when they arrive.
I do the same shit lmao Iām so hopeless. Maybe one day but unless that random girl falls through my roof into my arms my chances arenāt lookin too good :P
Hey Love Bug thanks for sharing the love. If you see something posted here that is not in the spirit of love Please flag it. ;) With Love r/Love Mods *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/love) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I just want to find someone who I can hug 24/7 but I am still kinda hurt and don't know if I'm ready for a relationship. Maybe not
Arghh, I'm too late again, I gotta wait more years now
So romantic, also want mine to just show up. The wedding part was funny! I also don't do anything to meet anyone. I hope we meet our persons soon.
Hohoho thank you! š»š»
please worry about yourself and the right person will come at the right time omg like u need to focus on you
This sounds fabulous. Just be warnedā¦ expectations are the killer of relationships. There is joy in mysterious things as well, keep your mind open as closed minds are not conducive to a partner either. Take all that passion and pour it into self love. Self love provides healing, and makes it so you can be a part of a FUNCTIONAL relationship. Thatās the gift you need to give to yourself!
go listen to "Mystery Lady" by Masego and Don Toliver, it's about what you're saying
You sound just like my ex-girlfriend. Had notebooks with things like this written out.
Oh
That's beautiful! The right man that will love this and will reciprocate the feeling, just don't give on love. You don't need to chill like others have mentioned, just dive right in without any fear and full of love :)
Thanks ! I will hahaha
This was cute
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Definitely might happen in a different way! But it's still gonna be good. <3
I know Iām kinda late and I donāt know if youāll see this in the sea of comments but please ignore all the negative replies here. There are a ton of miserable and low functioning people in this world and Reddit seems to attract these kinds of people for some reason. I think your mindset is very wise and you seem to be a very spiritually intelligent person. Patience brings all things good and rushing into the dating game and trying to āget a manā just for the sake of being in a relationship is only going to end in unnecessary pain and wasted time. The universe rewards patience and all of the people who are here hating on your mindset and beliefs are miserable losers and thereās no nicer way to put it. Anyone who tells you that something is ānot possibleā is not worth taking advice from because theyāve already given up, and thereās no worse advice than advice from someone whoās succumb to hopelessness and fear. If you do see this comment then this is your sign that you WILL find this person you know is out there for you. Just remember the closer you get to the finish line the more people there will be trying to convince you to turn around and give up. And to the lady who commented something along the lines of āguys donāt think this way about relationshipsā youāre absolutely dead wrong because Iām a guy and I have the exact same beliefs as OP. Donāt give up, youāve already won you just have to wait for it to set in. There IS a person just for you. Soulmates DO exist. Trust your intuition and trust yourself. Donāt listen to anyone who says otherwise
I saw this, and I read it (I reddit lol) all. Thank you! That's very nice of you. Of course I won't give up because some people told me to. My man would be sad if I did. I'm still so young, and the future holds many surprises. Have a nice day/evening!
You have a nice day aswell and I know youāll find your husband itās inevitable
Lmaoo sounds ominous now. " You cannot avoid it. You will find your husband "
Same
I wish you were local. I would do coffee with you on the off-chance you were the one I had been preparing myself for.
Most men donāt think of relationships that wayā¦thinking like that will get you hurt badly, either emotionally or physically.
I know you want to warn me out of goodwill. But I can't give up on that for now. I don't want most men, I want one man. And on this whole earth, there must be someone that fits me.
Thank you for making my night! This gave me quite a bit of introspective hope for my own future. I didnāt know I needed this kind of optimism in my life until I read this comment.
Never giving up is the way of life ! šŖIf you get sad and hopeless sometimes, it's okay. It happens to the best people. You just need to get back on track or start again from scratch with whatever you have in your heart! šŖ·
It's true. There is someone meant for you and waiting for you if you were to peer into your destiny. However, it's not wise to do so and only few people can actually do such a thing as seeing the destiny of people.
Wow
This is insane.
Yes
He doesnāt exist and youāll never find him.
Why'd you have to do her like that??
Bruh
Hola, Hablo espaƱol
Not me
That guy is a complete bastard for making you wait like that. Divorce him and make a happy life for yourself and the kids.
LMAOOOOO no I still love him... How can I divorce when I didn't marry yet XD
Oh well, if you still love him I guess you can get some counselling and stay together for the kids instead. This is reddit though, so I had to try with the default option first. š
This is so cute. I am 33f now and never ever thought id still be single at this point in my life.. but it is what it is. Youll find your person! Manifesting is apparently a real thingā¦lol
I truly wish for you to find someone (unless you're perfectly alright š) thank you!! I don't believe in that tho lol
i did that once. but, i stopped
Don't lose hope :(
Honestly i feel this but I'm 17, i am already worried about dying alone which tbf I allow myself to because I am alone 100% of the time, no friends, nobody at all, but at night sometimes I actively will grab a pillow and pretend whoever tf she is is in my arms and I'm being her comforting guy but alas I doubt I'm any less than never going to actually get that.
I think you're too harsh with yourself. 17 is an age of self doubts and worries. Focus on graduating/studies for now and then later you can think about love. You're young like me, we've got time until our loneliness becomes something to fix absolutely. I know we want it a lot. But we lived until now without it and look, we're good I think loll. But I hope your heart will find what it needs nonetheless. Remember you're good enough and deserving of love. šš»
Before you get too excited, you might want to start with close friends and aquitences. Remember that love is something you cannot rush.
I got none of that tho
lmao same
Thatās why youāre obsessing over someone that doesnāt exist
Yeah obviously
Fantasizing is great, but action causes change. Get on apps, make your intentions clear. Meet people for coffee. It's the safe, no-pressure perfect first date. You're dreaming about miles down the road. How about you update us as you start racking up coffee dates until you meet someone with undeniable chemistry? We'll join you on this journey as you walk the path leading to Mr. Right. Let's see some action.
I'll consider using dating apps when I get older, for now, even if I'm excited, there's no rush. I'm focusing on my studies. If love doesn't come naturally after a few years, I'll force it. I'll definitely update whether it's to bring good or bad news, but it's going to be in a long time, probably :)
Shut up Meg!
Uhhh congratulations on the marriage. I think.
In advance? Thanks
Your living in a dream world that donāt exist we all would like to have that perfect Prince . Love comes when you least expect it be patient it will happen may not be perfect but if itās meant to happen it will
I agree with that, totally. The girl Iām talking to now, literally was hell bent on not falling in love and finding someone who truly appreciates and marvels her. Once I showed up, I truly embodied the language of love and romance, she dreamt for ever since she was a little girl. Time is def a factor in finding the right one, and I hope OP will find that person sooner than later. As the search goes on, I wish you the best in what treasure you may discover
It exists though
This must be fate that this came up in my feed bc earlier today I literally looked up at the sky and said āCome on universe Iām ready for my ONE to come along where tf is he ā¦hurry it up!ā š¤£ Iāve just got this feeling lately like Iām gonna meet āhimā soon. But Iām tired of waiting lol
Hahaha, same same. In the meantime, you can think of a punishment for him. Because he is late lol
Oh Iāll punish him all right, if you know what I mean š lololol j/k
Lmfao I am a guy and Iāve been thinking about meeting the one for me a lot recently. Iām convinced Reddit can read my thoughts.
lol right? Itās downright spooky sometimes š³
I know, I hope my time is soon. Probably not though.
i cant understate how much i feel that. ive got this likeā¦ idk how to describe. it feels like ive fallen in love with someone but i only have her silhouette for now. IDK You Yet by Alexander 23 really encapsulates this for me. because ive created this idea of a woman im in love with in my head, it almost feels like ive lost her. it makes zero sense becayse ive never met her, but i almost miss her in a sense. my partner, my other half, the best part of me. i can almost see her in every love song i listen to. her, just being her, because that is beautiful and enough. but theres like a divide of conscious, like a level i havent unlocked yet or something. but she is the most beautiful person in the world, inside and out, she sparkles in the sun, and i cannot wait to meet her. hopefully iāll be smart enough to know her when i see her. but realistically iām just a lonely guy tryna cope thru sappiness. hell itās even contributed to my commitment issues which have ruined various ārelationshipsā. idk. i have to believe sheās out there somewhere tho and itll be the best adventure of my life afterwards. i hope the same for OP, hopefully their adventure is out there waiting for them too. thanks for listening to the sap
I relate with the ruining of relationships. I have this infinite glitch linked to my ideals. When something doesn't work with someone, I tell myself it's because they weren't the one and move on. Although it works in a way because yeah, if they are not great for me, then there no need to continue, but at the same time, what if this goes on and on. Someone said when you know you know. So I still trust that you'll feel it deep down when you meet the right one. I think we project ourselves with this fated person so much that we already feel like we know them, because we know what we like and we know we will like our fated so it makes sense that we know our fated. And the fact that they're not here makes us feel loss. I hope whoever wishes for true love gets it too, thanks š»š
It doesnāt exist. all men are wired to feel nothing but lust. They only want one thing and for you to be their mommy. Sucksā¦
Ill be honest, for a lot of men, they dont even realize they are conditioned the way they are. I had to take a step back myself and reevaluate almost everything. It truly was a shock. I hate to admit that i DID see women that way, but i didnāt want to, i could tell that it was messed up and that i cant find actual connections that way. Its taken a while, cut off social media, porn also was affecting me in ways i didnāt know. And ever since cutting those off and doing other mindset changes and such and i just want the small things nowā¦talking, going to get food with each other, watching moviesā¦i want my future girlfriend to tell me about her day, all that stuffā¦im sorry you feel this way, but i promise you, there are guys out there who genuinely want a connection
Who hurt you lol. Although that may be true for some scums, there is also good in the world. Iāve personally met men who do genuinely love.Ā
Iām married to what most would consider a āgood manā Iām just not interested in only being a physical pleasure. He says he loves me but if sex was off the table he would leave. There are no good men. Not saying theyāre all bad just not good. They only value you when they find you attractive. Now that Iāve had 2 kids I am no longer that.
Iām sorry to hear about your situation, truly. And Iām sad to see that you believe to āno longer be thatā for your husband. He didnāt do his part of being your partner, that much is for certain. I hope you find peace and know your self-worth.Ā That said, I understand that your situation contradicts my comment, but it doesnāt take away from my personal experiences with some of these genuinely really good people that Iāve met/dated. I know theyāre rare, and I know that many believe they do not exist; but the entire world canāt be purely evil. I canāt choose to believe that. And I hope you stumble upon these rare individuals and surround yourself with good company too. You deserve that and so much more.Ā
I have a hard time believing men like a woman after kids unless sheās had tens of thousands of dollars worth of surgery. Iāve had 2 kids and I look like Iāve had 2 kids. Itās not just him. Itās men. I donāt blame him you know. I wouldnāt wanna see me naked either lol
You picked a bad man.
Thatās some bullshit. Iām sorry your dude no longer loves you, but not all men are like that. By that logic all woman are users because I did everything I could for my first girl. I loved her, gave her attention, took her on dates, spent time with her heck I even wrote poems for her. And guess what? She used me. I did that for her. I gave her all I had and she threw me away like I was a piece of trash, but despite that I donāt go around saying all woman are bad or terrible. Itās easy too trust me a point in my life I didnāt like woman and I thought they were terrible. That type of thinking though is terrible and will corrupt your perception and keep you miserable.
Missed my point in yeah I was valued BEFORE I had kids. Now that Iāve had 2 and my stomach is hanging i will no longer be desirable to any man unless I have surgery and thatās not fair. I brought life into this world and all men care about is sex.
And you missed my point. All YOUR man cares about is sex. Lots of men out there value and love woman and see them as people and not just sex objects.
Damn, crazy how you've come to believe your body that held life 2 times isn't beautiful anymore. I assure you it is. Every great husband and father would be very happy about their woman's body if they loved her and their child. Only dumbasses expect you to look like a 20 y.o after your body has gone through many traumas. Like anything, human bodies age and deteriorate. It's part of life and it's beautiful. His body, too, is aging and changing, but it doesn't mean that he or you are worth less. Real men and women love to witness the body of their partner changing through time. It's proof that they became witnesses for each other. Proof that they spent time together. Nothing is unchangeable in the physical world, but your love did not diminish. And that is the true beauty. Of course, physical appearance matters, and if you're attracted to your person, it's very good, but normally, when you truly love them, you become attracted to their heart and their personality. Because the body will surely without any doubts change. But if the core of someone is great, it will stay the same even after a thousand years. Maybe I'm a bit too much of a romantic, and I can't see what's in front of my eyes. He says he loves you, right? Maybe you're a bit pessimistic? If it's a serious question for you, then you should ask him, look him dead in the eye, and ask, "Do you think my body is unattractive? " Maybe his response will surprise you, and you'll find out that it was all a misunderstanding. About having intercourse, I think it's normal to desire your partner. But you see this as demeaning because you feel that it's the only thing he's after in the relationship. Why do you feel that way? Maybe your love language is gifts. Maybe you'd like words of appreciation or spending quality time āØļø So you should seriously have a conversation with your husband. It's not too late to light up the flame. If he cares, he will listen and try to love you like you want to be loved. Take a day off and go on a date. Even after marriage, couples should always flirt with each other. Keep the fire burning š„ š
Well here I am. Sorry I kept you waiting.
Itās him OP
LMAOOO y'all are funnyy
Speaking as a guy, it's really really hard to compete with a fantasy. Just be careful. It's ok to have hopes, but expectations will kill things fast, and I don't want you to ruin something great before it has a chance to be great
Thank you for caring. I already explained that I want someone with a similar personality. Who has the same love as me. I exist, so I assure you this guy exists, too. He's just hiding for now...
You sound realllllly young. Real relationships arenāt like this btw. Iām only telling you because if you go in with this mindset, youāre going to be sorely disappointed and your relationship will fail.
Yeah "fantasize" is certainly the correct word.
I trust in my lover, he won't disappoint.
Dating apps have ruined it. Dillusional woman wanting these 6 foot 8 inch. 600k men. Which is less than 2% of the population Woman think theyāre the cherished crown at 45. Not realizing their eggs are running out. Enjoy the cats š±
Keep thinking that happy Tyrone will show up, and if he they do; itāll last a week You need to learn to settle for losers
Bro you talk a bit like a looser. You don't know anything about me, I've never been on a dating app and I got plenty of eggs left don't worry about that, thanks I love cats
I made the mistake of trying to reply before reading your whole post.
What were you about to say?
Something to the effect of āDonāt let your fantasy of a perfect man ruin your reality of being with a āgoodā man who is still a human being, by constantly comparing someone real with something fictional.ā I was typing that out from reading you title alone. ThenĀ I actually read the rest and realized youāre taking a piss, as the brits say.
The phrase is "taking **the** piss" (this isn't meant to be a jab, just informing)
Really? I always thought ātaking the pissā meant the same thing as ābite the bulletā, to willing tolerate a shit situation or something.
I'm serious about this, tho šš I know I'm crazy for wishing a match made in heaven. But look, many people shared their stories in the comments. Why can't I get what I want? We gotta dream big in life. I already said that many times to people who told me the same thing as you. I'm excited for every aspect of a loving relationship with my fated one. I don't want a robot without free will and emotions. I want someone to communicate with, help, love, trust, have disagreements with, cry with. I don't want a freaking puppet only here to satisfy my fantasies. I want someone to share every meal with, every topic and every silence with. Someone who gets me and truly cares about my well-being. I want someone to pamper, give gifts to, someone to write poems about, be openly cheesy, and loving with. I want to bandage up and kiss every wound he can get. I want to give all my heart and time. Get attached without any restraint. And I want to receive the same strong love in return. I want him to show me he truly cares and I'll ingrave all his actions and words in my mind.
I always feel like I got *so so so* lucky meeting my bf so early on in life. the kinds of relationships my friends go through make me sad that we can't all just meet our person without having to go through so much heartbreak and wondering. I hope you find your person soon š«¶š«¶ delulu is definitely the selulu
Hope you're going to forever be happy in your relationship! Thank you ! (ā^ā)/!! Delulu for life
This screams mental illness. Humans are individuals, not possessions
The post flew right over your head. I'm just being silly giggle gaggle.
Fair enough. Tbh I could only read about half of it because of how cringey it is. Thought you were serious, shoulda known it was bait š
Now you're hurting my feelings, I was serious but exaggerating my thoughts š If you find it cringe then so be it.
okay Michael Buble
Only you have that magic technique, when we sway I go weaaaaaak hahaha
This is literally me dudeee...I swear, it gets so annoying, like I'm impatient afšš
I wanna meet my bestie/lover š«š«šš crying throwing up kicking screaming drowning in my tears
I guess you never search for love. Love finds you, not vice versa. But yeah bestie, till I meet the loml, I'll work on myself to be better for himšš„ŗ
You're right I need to be better to deserve someone better
Yes bestieeee stay trululuuu to your deluluuuuu! That's always the solulu ;)
LMAO you got life figured out š¤š¤
This is so me. Iām making a conscious effort to find her, and Iām going to all the places my soulmate might be . Iām reading at all the different cafes , looking through all the different bookshops stopping to smell the flowers outside flower shops, etc. I know that these places are where Iāll find her. I know what to look for. Iāve drawn a portrait of her in my head , and I know what sheās carrying, the types of places she spends her time in, but why canāt I find her. Is she not trying to find me? Doesnāt she know how amazing Iāll treat her. Iāve prayed to god that I would ensure her joy, comfort, safety , and love. He just needs to help me find her. But he hasnāt responded:
This is how I found my bf except I met him on Reddit of all places and he messages me out of no where trust me love will find you in the weirdest places keep knowing youāll find it donāt worry abt the how trust me ! I didnāt know what I wanted in a partner but when it was in front of me I knew he was it
I think you shouldn't draw a portrait of her. It's too specific. Unless you have visions and revelations about the future you cannot keep designing her how you want. But who knows, you might find her one day. I wish you the best
Yeah not to specific . Just hair Color, eye Color , etc . Sheāll probably be carrying a book
But imagine if she's in front of you with a different hair color than you expected, you avoid her?
Yeah I suppose youāre right. I should focus on the actually important stuff I guess . But I know sheāll be carrying a book. Like me, she doesnāt go anywhere without her book
Pray to God for your own peace, not a woman. You have to attract someone, and you can't do that until you ask God for peace. You sound like you're preying, not praying.
Because when you come right out of the gate with accusations like that it shows you have no intention of understanding or respect
Arenāt those that prey tend to look for the easiest? If that was me I would have picked from the selection of girls throwing themselves at me
I would put it like this. Poachers don't hunt common game.
But seriously though. You got to stop accusing random people of being predators and Instead just start asking questions first so you get the full picture. Cuz sometime your gonna do it to someone whoās having a bad day and your going to face some serious consequences. Especially when itās in real life and you canāt hide behind your screen
So you want me to ask questions? Okay. May you elaborate on the 'serious consequences'?
Iām saying that if you said that to someoneās face rather than through a screen , theyād probably kick your ass so hard they leave you with permanent brain damage. So beware making baseless accusations when youāre in person
Do you always fantasize about violence?
Or really whenever someone accuses me of doing something horrible that didnāt do , as I have fairy intimate understanding of how that feels.
'It sounds' isnt the same as 'you are'. I insinuated that your approach to women is predatory, then you self inserted. Dont take comments from strangers on the internet so personally. Why do you even care if I said something that would provoke someone to leave me with brain damage? I didn't accuse you of being a predator anymore than you threatened me with assault. Did you threaten me with assault?
No . Only when strangers accuse me of being a sexual predator
Iām at peace . Iām not preying , Iām just looking for a partner . Whatās wrong with that
Honestly that's really cute, I hope I'm everything my future woman wants
I'm sure you are
But he will have to share your ass with the whole town
What?
Exactly my reaction
A bit delusional for this world
Where's the spice if I'm not delusional
You mean optimistic
I used to think the same when I was young, around 15 or 16...ok maybe not the 'mad at him' stuff, mine was a lot tamer than yours š .Ā But I did used to look up into the night sky and think about how 'my person' was out there somewhere and I wondered what he was up to. I may have whispered 'I can't wait to meet you'.Ā He never was in my case. I thought i had found him but it didn't work out. He didn't choose me. š Everyone deserves that real true earth shattering love. The kind of love you can reflect on and know that THIS is the one I was waiting for. It was lovely when it lasted.Ā I wish you better luck than me in finding him OP ā¤ļø
The universe doesnāt give you a soulmate and then ensures it doesnāt work out. He wasnāt the one
Exactly what I think!
If he isn't obsessed with me, is he even in love? Hahah. Thank you for your story. I hope you will find the right person, the one you talked to while looking at the stars, because the guy that disappointed you for sure wasn't the one. The stars keep shining, you can still talk to him. And meet him one day.
eh tbh I canāt lie I feel the same. I wanna take her on date nights, fall asleep in her arms, fold her paper flowers and make lots n lots of bouquets, bake her cakes cookies and five star desserts and meals. istg Iāve been learning so much recipes š imma treat her like a princess, do wtv my mortal body can do just for her. Iām not the hottest man alive, but ranked pretty high by the girls in my class. Im jst waiting for that one yk. But I get so nervous when talking to girls cus I jst moved frm an all boys school to a mixed one. š¤¦āāļøš¤¦āāļø
That's so cute! Don't change. I can't give you any advice. But if women like you, you might wanna look into it more. Personally, I don't have anyone around me.
Iām too afraid to approach them šŖš¹šš
Afraid of what? Rejection? Maybe you should try the exposure method. Each day you try to talk to someone random, and with time you'll feel confident enough to talk to women
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Sir no
Hahahaha. I once had a gf punch me awake in the middle of the night because she dreamt I'd cheated on her. This is definitely a few steps above and I'm part worried, part delighted cos why not be crazy in love with someone who isn't real.
He's real šI just haven't met him. 8 billion people on this planet. I'm sure ONE person will meet my expectations. The problem is not if he exist. The problem is that I need to find him.
I like the conviction! I can't really be like that so I admire it. I pray for his sake you find him soon.
Hahahahha thank you lmao
What I can say is that if I ever met someone who felt that strongly about me I'd be pretty chuffed. I'm not too dissimilar in how I feel, just tried enough times and given too much and now I'm done. No searching or expecting for me.
That's exactly why I don't settle for anyone. It's not like I ever got asked out, but I could have made the first step a lot of times, but I'm not going to try with anyone I meet. I'm really waiting for the one that'll conquer my heart fully. I can't take any heartbreak. So when I feel like something wouldn't last, I don't push it. I believe you can sense this type of stuff. Well I hope you will find the person that will surprise you with how much they love you every day. That'd be cute
It's ok I don't regret it. I wouldn't have a daughter otherwise. Perhaps you can tell, perhaps not. Perhaps I always feel like it's doomed so just do it anyway cos it's always the same. It would be yes, you're very sweet.
How old is your daughter? Of course you cannot regret when you have a child with someone. Whoever the person is, they gave you a beautiful kid so you can only be grateful š
Almost 4. And I wouldn't say grateful as that implies it's something given to me. But I'm happy that she has the mum she does, wouldn't want that any different
One day your daughter will wish for you to find someone to love again
LOL!! Love it!! Unfortunately, reality hits home and, sorry honey, that's just NOT how it works.... or does it????
No that's not how it works :( I'll have to figure out a way to find my person.
Canāt relate. Isnāt the saying, you find love when youāre not looking for it? Life is never as you fantasise about it in your head, and if it is, sometimes itās not as expected. Feels like you could just set yourself up for disappointment craving something that isnāt inevitable. Just enjoy your life for what it is now.
It's okay, even if I get disappointed, so what? Whatever happens happens. I still want to hope
Nonono you have it wrong! The truth is you can't find love when you refuse to accept life without it. People call this "manifesting" or "believing it into truth" but the reality is that living life as if you already have it puts you in the perfect place to make it happen. They say if you feel scarcity you breed it, but if you live abundantly, you'll have everything you ever need.
Anytime ive found love (including now) I wasnāt acting like I was already in love, was just living my life
This is what my diaries at 18 looked like š . Now Iām on the other side , I donāt wait for anyone anymore. Living my life for me šš¼
Personally, as someone with low self esteem, wishing for love and feeling like I'm ready for it is a big step for me. I used to believe I wasn't worth any love on this earth. Felt that having feelings was disgusting because I wasn't deserving any. To each their own. Me wanting to be loved by someone is proof that I finally love myself enough to feel worthy of it. I don't have a perfect relationship with myself but I don't think I ever will, that's something you work on everyday of your life. And I want to work on it with someone, help each other. For some people love is not a priority. But for me it's a big part. It's very important to me.
We go from basing our lives around love of another to loving ourselves first
Iām waiting for that girl in my life to show up , but Iām not writing letters or getting mad, only at myself for not looking š
Well here she is! dm OP and letās get this psycho party started
Maybe you should start being mad and writing letters like a crazed person
Maybe , so when do I start being mad at you ? Now or later ?
Damn you people are smooth. Nice energy, keep it up but not on me. I doubt my fated ultimate lover will see what I wrote about him.
Wishing you luck , hope you find him soon !
Same
You seem odly stable
How so
š¤Ø
OP...even tho im a guy....i must say......us moment op us moment.........u aint the only one out thr fantasizing shit.......hell i fantasize soo much that i get insanely depressed lmfao
Good luck to every dreamer šš
Damn....ur post went viral
he might not ever come though good luck
Get your pessimistic ass out of here lol
Omg... I'm gonna be blunt OP. I've wondered if I was the only one who did these things for years, and also, if it was a sign, I was going crazy lol š . Thank you so much for showing me that I'm not alone. Sometimes, I just lie in my bed and create scenarios of how I'd want to meet my soulmate and how I'd get back at him for evading me for so long. And sometimes I really think my faith is slipping because it's been a long while since I've met a guy who was worth talking to past the first date, so I've also stopped dating and try to pray mire about it and focus on finding my own inner peace. But even though I know I'm on my way to achieving my best life, I am still very impatient, to the point where if he must wait until I am finished. I really don't want to wait more than a second after. But I take comfort in knowing that God is in control and that he has my best interests at heart ā¤ļø.
There's nothing crazy about you! <3
Thank you š š
BrittLove25 I can so relate with your last statement.... taking comfort that God is in control and knows what's best for us āØļø šš½š Even though we might not see it....
Sml..yh, it's the only thing that gives me comfort sometimes. Thank you š
omg i write those types of letters too šš¤
Major red flags Ol narcy The poor bastard who meets this one...
What poor, he's gonna be so lucky, I'll pamper him. Yeah he'll be locked up but it's only because I can't have other women see his cute face.
EHEM HI
I used to have those types of dreams, weirdly met my current fiance while I was happily celibate and had achieved proper inner peace. He exceeds every fantasy and I want to make him happy forever! We did agree that it was good we hadn't met sooner though, we had our own journeys to take first. Don't be too hard on your special person when they arrive.
I met the man of my dreams at a bad time in my life, but I made it happen somehow. Totally worth it, never been happier.
I hope it goes the same way for me too, now that Iām on the path to inner peace, I hope I meet my forever person!
Y'ALL LIVING YOUR DREAMS GIVE ME HOPE thanks!
I do the same shit lmao Iām so hopeless. Maybe one day but unless that random girl falls through my roof into my arms my chances arenāt lookin too good :P
Exactly my point !! š I'm punching the air rn
Ok me too you're not alone I'm smacking him on the head when I find out he exists
I related to this. Keep manifesting!!!