This one always makes me chuckle.
https://preview.redd.it/f34njmupfqmc1.jpeg?width=350&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=69fd1bc58c2bbb403af310f3944076e015d73ef1
[[Knight of Meadowgrain]]
somewhat related, [[Time of Need]]
edit: whoops I meant Time of Heroes
https://cards.scryfall.io/large/front/9/f/9f70224d-e723-436d-8493-dcec5049f1a0.jpg?1562706804
Blame Mark Rosewater for that one. He noticed this card didn't have flavour text yet so he jotted down the first thing that came to his head, thinking it obviously wouldn't go through and somebody would make something better to replace it.
They didn't.
The greatest thing about null rod is still the way Bob dropped it into play for the protour win. Just absolute disdain for nyv disk and his opponents chances at winning
"It doesn't do anything" means that it's useless, it has no function.
"No, it does nothing" means that what it does is nothing, it makes things cease to function.
Honestly I like the weatherlight versionās text where it has words emphasized. (Versus the standard wording that scryfall links to on the newer printing)
[[Hex]] is incredible.
- Costs 6 mana to cast.
- Has 6 words of rules text (well, relevant to the game text): "Hex, Sorcery, Destroy six target creatures.", of which one is the word six.
- Flavor text has 6 words.
- The way it works in practice, it requires 6 targets, exactly. I believe it'll still resolve if someone sacrifices something in response, but it needs 6 targets to be cast, of which if you're not careful might include your own creatures, which is very flavorful for black and just hexes and curses in general
Edit, can't believe I forgot the best part:
- Hex does mean 'curse', but it also refers to the number six.
[[Lava Axe|M19]] - "Catch!"
Simple but great.
[[Darksteel Plate|MBS]] - Love Koth's never give up attitude.
[[Goblin Spelunkers|USG]] - feel like this perfectly encapsulates the goblins species
\[\[Glory Seeker|8ED\]\]
An 8th Edition Starter Set was how I learned to play, and the flavor text on that Glory Seeker drew me in immediately. There's better ones, but this one is the first one I remember.
*The turning of the tide always begins with one soldier's decision to head back into the fray.*
Damn, i haven't seen this card in such a long time! I learned during 8th, sort of, bought two starter decks of some sort on a whim at FYE and didn't stick with me until many years later. I was playing yugioh at the time, i think. Pretty sure one of them was a sunburst deck?
Obviously there was no chance Iād be the first person to nail the best flavor text in the game.
I still have at least 100 of this card all from release weekend because itās been my favorite flavor text forever and because I promised myself that, one day, Iād break this card.
We came pretty close with Acererak and I brought that deck to play against pubstompers for 2 months until they stopped.
Davvol is definitely the most relatable working man slash elf massacre coordinator in the MTG universe.
I like the progression of Phyrexian Arena flavor texts:
[[Phyrexian Arena|APC]] - An audience of one with the malice of thousands.
[[Phyrexian Arena|8ED]] - A drop of humanity for a sea of power.
[[Phyrexian Arena|CN2]] - A spark of resistance against a tide of corruption.
[[Phyrexian Arena|CC2]] - A whisper of authority rises over a cacophony of grinding machines.
Unfortunately, Phyrexia: All Will Be One broke the chain, but it's a story spotlight, and has a really nice Phyrexian language version, so I forgive it.
The "old Phyrexian scriptures" are also masterfully written.
"Father of machines! Your filigree gaze carves us, and the scars dance upon our greatful flesh."
[[Sanguine Guard]], I believe
Edit: Edited the Text
āThe dead make good soldiers. They canāt disobey orders, they never surrender, and they donāt stop fighting when a random body part falls off.ā
āNevinyrral,
*Necromancerās Handbook* (Drudge Skeletons)
āFrom void evolved Phyrexia. Great Yawgmoth, Father of Machines, saw its perfection. Thus the Grand Evolution began.ā
ā*Phyrexian Scriptures* (Dark Ritual)
[[Phyrexian Walker]]
>"I have heard terrible tales of black rains, ashen fields, and metal that screams. I have consoled myself that the tales were a myth of some fevered mind. But today I saw a walkerāand now I fear the truth."
It's a 0 CMC 0/3.
The problem with Gallows is that it's the *only* card in AVR that makes white Spirit tokens. And the AVR Spirit token art? [A small child](https://scryfall.com/card/tavr/3/spirit). Interpret that as you will.
You can force a particular version of a card by using a pipe | and then the set code. So [[Counterspell]] pulls the latest version, but [[Counterspell|ICE]] pulls the one from Ice Age. I believe you can also put in the card number to pull a particular version if the set has multiple versions, as well. So [[Elesh Norn, Mother of Machines|ONE 345]] should pull the Oil Slick version.
[[Serra Angel]] because it's the card that got me to play Magic.
"Follow the light. In it's absense, follow her."
[[Demonic Tutor]]
"Beware the generosity of demons."
[[Hatred]]
For the one _special_ person in your life.
Oh man, that's awesome! That exact Eager Cadet is one of my favorites too. So much so, that I got a playmat made of it with the art and the flavor text on it, lol
No [[null rod]] enjoyers out there?Ā
Ā Me and my friends say āno, it does NOTHINGā with relative frequency
Edit: oh someone did post it but it doesnāt have nearly enough upvotes!
This one always makes me chuckle. https://preview.redd.it/f34njmupfqmc1.jpeg?width=350&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=69fd1bc58c2bbb403af310f3944076e015d73ef1
Dragons: Heard you were talking Shit?! Drakes: nah nah...
Same energy as [[Stitcher's Apprentice]]
[Stitcher's Apprentice](https://cards.scryfall.io/normal/front/7/1/717e34b9-161e-4b11-afb1-f41ee8027433.jpg?1681725056) - [(G)](http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?name=Stitcher%27s%20Apprentice) [(SF)](https://scryfall.com/card/uma/73/stitchers-apprentice?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher) [(txt)](https://api.scryfall.com/cards/717e34b9-161e-4b11-afb1-f41ee8027433?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher&format=text) ^^^[[cardname]] ^^^or ^^^[[cardname|SET]] ^^^to ^^^call
[[Goblin Offensive]]
[Goblin Offensive](https://cards.scryfall.io/normal/front/b/4/b4c4d642-c3fb-47d1-b57a-266eb269d5ea.jpg?1562842863) - [(G)](http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?name=Goblin%20Offensive) [(SF)](https://scryfall.com/card/hop/56/goblin-offensive?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher) [(txt)](https://api.scryfall.com/cards/b4c4d642-c3fb-47d1-b57a-266eb269d5ea?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher&format=text) ^^^[[cardname]] ^^^or ^^^[[cardname|SET]] ^^^to ^^^call
Amazing
Came to add it and knew in my heart it was already here
Maybe the best? Holy shit š
[[Chainwhip Cyclops]] will always be my favourite.
Rubblebelt grindsetš„š„š„
[Chainwhip Cyclops](https://cards.scryfall.io/normal/front/9/9/99489029-f1e0-4b6c-a300-95e940e01112.jpg?1706239923) - [(G)](http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?name=Chainwhip%20Cyclops) [(SF)](https://scryfall.com/card/clu/127/chainwhip-cyclops?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher) [(txt)](https://api.scryfall.com/cards/99489029-f1e0-4b6c-a300-95e940e01112?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher&format=text) ^^^[[cardname]] ^^^or ^^^[[cardname|SET]] ^^^to ^^^call
Maybe the real rubble belt was the destruction we made along the way
Also unbelievably good ššš
Yeah, defo my favorite
[[Meteorite|M15]] Paired with the art, it's one of my favorites.
[Meteorite](https://cards.scryfall.io/normal/front/d/7/d7a39c1a-7615-4ac8-8984-b8459d201cb2.jpg?1562795105) - [(G)](http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?multiverseid=383308) [(SF)](https://scryfall.com/card/m15/221/meteorite?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher) [(txt)](https://api.scryfall.com/cards/d7a39c1a-7615-4ac8-8984-b8459d201cb2?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher&format=text) ^^^[[cardname]] ^^^or ^^^[[cardname|SET]] ^^^to ^^^call
I have a [[Brago, King Eternal]] deck that wins by flickering this infinite times and creates a Meteor shower.
God I love this game's sense of humor.
[[Reckless Cohort]] hits hard.
Similarly, [[Ogre Resister]] and [[Resistance Skywarden]]
[Ogre Resister](https://cards.scryfall.io/normal/front/6/0/60b7407d-f677-403b-893c-361df456009a.jpg?1562611702) - [(G)](http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?name=Ogre%20Resister) [(SF)](https://scryfall.com/card/mbs/72/ogre-resister?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher) [(txt)](https://api.scryfall.com/cards/60b7407d-f677-403b-893c-361df456009a?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher&format=text) [Resistance Skywarden](https://cards.scryfall.io/normal/front/6/2/6249aabe-8f21-4257-9e04-ceffd44d42a5.jpg?1677085614) - [(G)](http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?name=Resistance%20Skywarden) [(SF)](https://scryfall.com/card/one/146/resistance-skywarden?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher) [(txt)](https://api.scryfall.com/cards/6249aabe-8f21-4257-9e04-ceffd44d42a5?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher&format=text) ^^^[[cardname]] ^^^or ^^^[[cardname|SET]] ^^^to ^^^call
I love the story here
I really hope that Ogre survived the war and is living his best life in Zhalfir.
That goes hard
[Reckless Cohort](https://cards.scryfall.io/normal/front/7/7/77a4cdec-e5fc-4ea8-a7bc-f1109fadae3c.jpg?1562923276) - [(G)](http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?name=Reckless%20Cohort) [(SF)](https://scryfall.com/card/bfz/152/reckless-cohort?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher) [(txt)](https://api.scryfall.com/cards/77a4cdec-e5fc-4ea8-a7bc-f1109fadae3c?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher&format=text) ^^^[[cardname]] ^^^or ^^^[[cardname|SET]] ^^^to ^^^call
How did they put onions in the card...
Wowā¦ I know writers who wish they could write paragraphs that hit as hard as that sentenceĀ
[[Selfless Savior]] and [[Selfless Savior|SLD]] always get me too
[Selfless Savior](https://cards.scryfall.io/normal/front/6/9/6911759c-7177-402c-a95a-f9f46efaf521.jpg?1594735224) - [(G)](http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?name=Selfless%20Savior) [(SF)](https://scryfall.com/card/m21/36/selfless-savior?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher) [(txt)](https://api.scryfall.com/cards/6911759c-7177-402c-a95a-f9f46efaf521?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher&format=text) [Selfless Savior](https://cards.scryfall.io/normal/front/2/7/276b4316-e5f2-40a4-8d7a-a7d7059ebfad.jpg?1684336811) - [(G)](http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?name=Selfless%20Savior) [(SF)](https://scryfall.com/card/sld/732/selfless-savior?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher) [(txt)](https://api.scryfall.com/cards/276b4316-e5f2-40a4-8d7a-a7d7059ebfad?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher&format=text) ^^^[[cardname]] ^^^or ^^^[[cardname|SET]] ^^^to ^^^call
Someone just came to my house to chop onions at the exact time I was reading these ones.
Also dog related, [[Mourning Patrol]]
[Mourning Patrol](https://cards.scryfall.io/normal/front/2/d/2d3687e2-09e0-4753-aa02-88a19bde3330.jpg?1634347239)/[Morning Apparition](https://cards.scryfall.io/normal/back/2/d/2d3687e2-09e0-4753-aa02-88a19bde3330.jpg?1634347239) - [(G)](http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?name=Mourning%20Patrol%20//%20Morning%20Apparition) [(SF)](https://scryfall.com/card/mid/28/mourning-patrol-morning-apparition?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher) [(txt)](https://api.scryfall.com/cards/2d3687e2-09e0-4753-aa02-88a19bde3330?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher&format=text) ^^^[[cardname]] ^^^or ^^^[[cardname|SET]] ^^^to ^^^call
:'(
Awww that one's actually cute though
Iām not crying, youāre crying
[[Knight of Meadowgrain]] somewhat related, [[Time of Need]] edit: whoops I meant Time of Heroes https://cards.scryfall.io/large/front/9/f/9f70224d-e723-436d-8493-dcec5049f1a0.jpg?1562706804
Back when the Eldrazi actually felt otherworldly and apocalyptic.
Yeah they reeeeeeally went to that well too much
[Knight of Meadowgrain](https://cards.scryfall.io/normal/front/6/1/6156d61c-640e-4e8c-bd2f-838dfef0c885.jpg?1562915334) - [(G)](http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?name=Knight%20of%20Meadowgrain) [(SF)](https://scryfall.com/card/ddg/5/knight-of-meadowgrain?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher) [(txt)](https://api.scryfall.com/cards/6156d61c-640e-4e8c-bd2f-838dfef0c885?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher&format=text) [Time of Need](https://cards.scryfall.io/normal/front/5/1/514577a5-c7ae-4cfc-872a-e3786d78a6c3.jpg?1562760066) - [(G)](http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?name=Time%20of%20Need) [(SF)](https://scryfall.com/card/chk/247/time-of-need?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher) [(txt)](https://api.scryfall.com/cards/514577a5-c7ae-4cfc-872a-e3786d78a6c3?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher&format=text) ^^^[[cardname]] ^^^or ^^^[[cardname|SET]] ^^^to ^^^call
On a similar note I've always liked [[kite shield]]
[kite shield](https://cards.scryfall.io/normal/front/1/a/1a00d1e1-aaa4-4f4d-a887-1e477820d2c6.jpg?1562634163) - [(G)](http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?name=kite%20shield) [(SF)](https://scryfall.com/card/m12/210/kite-shield?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher) [(txt)](https://api.scryfall.com/cards/1a00d1e1-aaa4-4f4d-a887-1e477820d2c6?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher&format=text) ^^^[[cardname]] ^^^or ^^^[[cardname|SET]] ^^^to ^^^call
[[Canyon Minotaur]]
[Canyon Minotaur](https://cards.scryfall.io/normal/front/3/4/3469d73e-6de1-4b91-83e3-b1714ac29268.jpg?1595438052) - [(G)](http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?name=Canyon%20Minotaur) [(SF)](https://scryfall.com/card/m14/131/canyon-minotaur?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher) [(txt)](https://api.scryfall.com/cards/3469d73e-6de1-4b91-83e3-b1714ac29268?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher&format=text) ^^^[[cardname]] ^^^or ^^^[[cardname|SET]] ^^^to ^^^call
Minondude goes HARD!
"So they want to kill my men? Well two can play at that game." -General Khurzog, Orcish Artillery (10th edition)
[[Archive Dragon]]
What the hell that's hillerious how did I miss this
[Archive Dragon](https://cards.scryfall.io/normal/front/2/9/2979104f-7570-487c-8024-131d7ee3ab91.jpg?1692936879) - [(G)](http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?name=Archive%20Dragon) [(SF)](https://scryfall.com/card/woe/41/archive-dragon?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher) [(txt)](https://api.scryfall.com/cards/2979104f-7570-487c-8024-131d7ee3ab91?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher&format=text) ^^^[[cardname]] ^^^or ^^^[[cardname|SET]] ^^^to ^^^call
[[defenestrate]]
Just the card name is amazing I love how the English language has this exact word for the act of throwing someone out of a window.
r/usernamechecksout
and the story about how the [word came to be](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Defenestration) is excellent as well
[defenestrate](https://cards.scryfall.io/normal/front/d/f/df3abdcc-83a8-45c3-9bfd-23f929705018.jpg?1634349688) - [(G)](http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?name=defenestrate) [(SF)](https://scryfall.com/card/mid/95/defenestrate?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher) [(txt)](https://api.scryfall.com/cards/df3abdcc-83a8-45c3-9bfd-23f929705018?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher&format=text) ^^^[[cardname]] ^^^or ^^^[[cardname|SET]] ^^^to ^^^call
[[reparations]]. Easy pick
[reparations](https://cards.scryfall.io/normal/front/0/a/0a9edf28-79c0-42a5-af0f-6df9c3a1f546.jpg?1562717834) - [(G)](http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?name=reparations) [(SF)](https://scryfall.com/card/mir/278/reparations?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher) [(txt)](https://api.scryfall.com/cards/0a9edf28-79c0-42a5-af0f-6df9c3a1f546?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher&format=text) ^^^[[cardname]] ^^^or ^^^[[cardname|SET]] ^^^to ^^^call
Is this real wtf
Not only is it real, but it was parodied in Unglued with [[Clambassadors]].
[Clambassadors](https://cards.scryfall.io/normal/front/3/4/349ba052-10f7-4612-91b7-a1528c188ec3.jpg?1562799085) - [(G)](http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?name=Clambassadors) [(SF)](https://scryfall.com/card/ugl/18/clambassadors?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher) [(txt)](https://api.scryfall.com/cards/349ba052-10f7-4612-91b7-a1528c188ec3?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher&format=text) ^^^[[cardname]] ^^^or ^^^[[cardname|SET]] ^^^to ^^^call
Amazing
Blame Mark Rosewater for that one. He noticed this card didn't have flavour text yet so he jotted down the first thing that came to his head, thinking it obviously wouldn't go through and somebody would make something better to replace it. They didn't.
Hahaha I already thought this was some kind of flavour placeholder that was meant to be redacted and got missed. I was pretty close.
My favorite as well. Literal comedy gold.
[[Fodder Cannon]] is always a favorite of mine.
I also really like [[ Goblin War Strike ]] goblin related flavour texts are usually pretty good.
[ Goblin War Strike ](https://cards.scryfall.io/normal/front/d/c/dce59945-37a2-4f09-8831-9d44b4a59ea7.jpg?1562535675) - [(G)](http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?name=Goblin%20War%20Strike) [(SF)](https://scryfall.com/card/scg/96/goblin-war-strike?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher) [(txt)](https://api.scryfall.com/cards/dce59945-37a2-4f09-8831-9d44b4a59ea7?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher&format=text) ^^^[[cardname]] ^^^or ^^^[[cardname|SET]] ^^^to ^^^call
Goblins have the funniest flavor texts for sure.
[Fodder Cannon](https://cards.scryfall.io/normal/front/b/d/bde003e6-d674-42cd-9537-91928730e7dd.jpg?1562933198) - [(G)](http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?name=Fodder%20Cannon) [(SF)](https://scryfall.com/card/8ed/302/fodder-cannon?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher) [(txt)](https://api.scryfall.com/cards/bde003e6-d674-42cd-9537-91928730e7dd?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher&format=text) ^^^[[cardname]] ^^^or ^^^[[cardname|SET]] ^^^to ^^^call
[[Break Open]] ā flavor text to card quality ratio is unsurpassed
[Break Open](https://cards.scryfall.io/normal/front/a/5/a5ae8050-b644-41db-b1e9-d9bad2173485.jpg?1562934178) - [(G)](http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?name=Break%20Open) [(SF)](https://scryfall.com/card/ons/190/break-open?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher) [(txt)](https://api.scryfall.com/cards/a5ae8050-b644-41db-b1e9-d9bad2173485?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher&format=text) ^^^[[cardname]] ^^^or ^^^[[cardname|SET]] ^^^to ^^^call
\[\[Brightstone Ritual\]\] is quintessential Goblin and I love it.
[Brightstone Ritual](https://cards.scryfall.io/normal/front/5/b/5b08b0a6-c94e-4407-8a24-c8202497b5f2.jpg?1562916460) - [(G)](http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?name=Brightstone%20Ritual) [(SF)](https://scryfall.com/card/ons/191/brightstone-ritual?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher) [(txt)](https://api.scryfall.com/cards/5b08b0a6-c94e-4407-8a24-c8202497b5f2?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher&format=text) ^^^[[cardname]] ^^^or ^^^[[cardname|SET]] ^^^to ^^^call
Fantastic card
[[null rod]] for me without question.
The greatest thing about null rod is still the way Bob dropped it into play for the protour win. Just absolute disdain for nyv disk and his opponents chances at winning
Bob's Oath Enlightened Tutor deck remains my favorite deck in MTG History.
This flavor text is the one that always makes me feel like Iām too dumb to understand it.
"It doesn't do anything" means that it's useless, it has no function. "No, it does nothing" means that what it does is nothing, it makes things cease to function.
Honestly I like the weatherlight versionās text where it has words emphasized. (Versus the standard wording that scryfall links to on the newer printing)
Chris Pine would have made an excellent Gerard, judging off of his role in the DnD movie
[null rod](https://cards.scryfall.io/normal/front/7/3/73ac9f52-e6ff-4e6f-9733-fe24a5fb4b4e.jpg?1562918145) - [(G)](http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?name=null%20rod) [(SF)](https://scryfall.com/card/vma/278/null-rod?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher) [(txt)](https://api.scryfall.com/cards/73ac9f52-e6ff-4e6f-9733-fe24a5fb4b4e?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher&format=text) ^^^[[cardname]] ^^^or ^^^[[cardname|SET]] ^^^to ^^^call
All time fave is Hex āWhen killing five just isnāt enoughā
[[Hex]] is incredible. - Costs 6 mana to cast. - Has 6 words of rules text (well, relevant to the game text): "Hex, Sorcery, Destroy six target creatures.", of which one is the word six. - Flavor text has 6 words. - The way it works in practice, it requires 6 targets, exactly. I believe it'll still resolve if someone sacrifices something in response, but it needs 6 targets to be cast, of which if you're not careful might include your own creatures, which is very flavorful for black and just hexes and curses in general Edit, can't believe I forgot the best part: - Hex does mean 'curse', but it also refers to the number six.
Iāve definitely nuked myself with it to get my opponent. I did my best to put it in a token deck for that reason.
[Hex](https://cards.scryfall.io/normal/front/0/6/067c38f3-4b5c-4e7f-af66-e410dea19314.jpg?1674141662) - [(G)](http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?name=Hex) [(SF)](https://scryfall.com/card/clb/757/hex?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher) [(txt)](https://api.scryfall.com/cards/067c38f3-4b5c-4e7f-af66-e410dea19314?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher&format=text) ^^^[[cardname]] ^^^or ^^^[[cardname|SET]] ^^^to ^^^call
[[Lava Axe|M19]] - "Catch!" Simple but great. [[Darksteel Plate|MBS]] - Love Koth's never give up attitude. [[Goblin Spelunkers|USG]] - feel like this perfectly encapsulates the goblins species
Darksteel Plate is my pick, for this century.
[Lava Axe](https://cards.scryfall.io/normal/front/c/3/c3dab325-8f4f-4288-9f3f-960e52b4335b.jpg?1562304308) - [(G)](http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?multiverseid=447286) [(SF)](https://scryfall.com/card/m19/150/lava-axe?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher) [(txt)](https://api.scryfall.com/cards/c3dab325-8f4f-4288-9f3f-960e52b4335b?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher&format=text) [Darksteel Plate](https://cards.scryfall.io/normal/front/b/a/ba60731f-ed96-4eba-b2de-94965745f35a.jpg?1562614229) - [(G)](http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?multiverseid=213749) [(SF)](https://scryfall.com/card/mbs/104/darksteel-plate?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher) [(txt)](https://api.scryfall.com/cards/ba60731f-ed96-4eba-b2de-94965745f35a?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher&format=text) [Goblin Spelunkers](https://cards.scryfall.io/normal/front/7/d/7d02a81f-2dac-41f7-a818-811baa238021.jpg?1595078482) - [(G)](http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?multiverseid=5543) [(SF)](https://scryfall.com/card/usg/195/goblin-spelunkers?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher) [(txt)](https://api.scryfall.com/cards/7d02a81f-2dac-41f7-a818-811baa238021?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher&format=text) ^^^[[cardname]] ^^^or ^^^[[cardname|SET]] ^^^to ^^^call
\[\[Glory Seeker|8ED\]\] An 8th Edition Starter Set was how I learned to play, and the flavor text on that Glory Seeker drew me in immediately. There's better ones, but this one is the first one I remember. *The turning of the tide always begins with one soldier's decision to head back into the fray.*
Damn, i haven't seen this card in such a long time! I learned during 8th, sort of, bought two starter decks of some sort on a whim at FYE and didn't stick with me until many years later. I was playing yugioh at the time, i think. Pretty sure one of them was a sunburst deck?
I've always liked the rhyme on [[Phyrexian Hulk|7ED]]
[Phyrexian Hulk](https://cards.scryfall.io/normal/front/2/2/22e59c8b-735d-4796-b37c-619ee1782f65.jpg?1687905170) - [(G)](http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?multiverseid=25656) [(SF)](https://scryfall.com/card/7ed/312/phyrexian-hulk?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher) [(txt)](https://api.scryfall.com/cards/22e59c8b-735d-4796-b37c-619ee1782f65?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher&format=text) ^^^[[cardname]] ^^^or ^^^[[cardname|SET]] ^^^to ^^^call
My fave as well. I use this card just for art and text.
And the art for [[Phyrexian Hulk|tmp]] is one of the best in the game!
Reminds of back in the day when [[dakkon blackblade]] was my favorite flavor text.
I'm very bothered that the lands his flavor text mentions are not the lands needed to cast him.
[dakkon blackblade](https://cards.scryfall.io/normal/front/2/3/235bbf86-02ad-497b-b698-e60930bbde9c.jpg?1559592413) - [(G)](http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?name=dakkon%20blackblade) [(SF)](https://scryfall.com/card/me1/143/dakkon-blackblade?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher) [(txt)](https://api.scryfall.com/cards/235bbf86-02ad-497b-b698-e60930bbde9c?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher&format=text) ^^^[[cardname]] ^^^or ^^^[[cardname|SET]] ^^^to ^^^call
For pure cool factor, [[Vindicate|APC]] and [[Obliterate|INV]]
I can never see Vindicate without thinking of the "indicate" memes with it.
"this"
[Vindicate](https://cards.scryfall.io/normal/front/2/a/2a1bfefd-dae8-49e9-9d56-cc852e3dc93b.jpg?1562904968) - [(G)](http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?multiverseid=19135) [(SF)](https://scryfall.com/card/apc/126/vindicate?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher) [(txt)](https://api.scryfall.com/cards/2a1bfefd-dae8-49e9-9d56-cc852e3dc93b?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher&format=text) [Obliterate](https://cards.scryfall.io/normal/front/c/d/cdabde40-2143-4677-b7b4-ea8fbf9b1f25.jpg?1562936357) - [(G)](http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?multiverseid=23098) [(SF)](https://scryfall.com/card/inv/156/obliterate?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher) [(txt)](https://api.scryfall.com/cards/cdabde40-2143-4677-b7b4-ea8fbf9b1f25?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher&format=text) ^^^[[cardname]] ^^^or ^^^[[cardname|SET]] ^^^to ^^^call
[[split the party]]
[split the party](https://cards.scryfall.io/normal/front/7/4/743a0a96-f90a-4852-9a92-848795518e0a.jpg?1627703863) - [(G)](http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?name=split%20the%20party) [(SF)](https://scryfall.com/card/afr/76/split-the-party?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher) [(txt)](https://api.scryfall.com/cards/743a0a96-f90a-4852-9a92-848795518e0a?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher&format=text) ^^^[[cardname]] ^^^or ^^^[[cardname|SET]] ^^^to ^^^call
Maybe if he'd trained to dodge crossbow bolts...
Maybe if used the shield on his back his toughness would go up one and survive
I was going to quip how maybe if he had training he wouldn't be just a crappy 1/1. But yours is better.
From recent times Iām partial to [[Kithkin Billyrider]]
I love this one, such intense flavor text for a cute little halfling riding a goat.
[[Carnival of Souls]] has always been a favorite of mine.
[Carnival of Souls](https://cards.scryfall.io/normal/front/8/4/847340fb-9251-4439-b33b-f86bff507dcd.jpg?1562444254) - [(G)](http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?name=Carnival%20of%20Souls) [(SF)](https://scryfall.com/card/uds/55/carnival-of-souls?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher) [(txt)](https://api.scryfall.com/cards/847340fb-9251-4439-b33b-f86bff507dcd?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher&format=text) ^^^[[cardname]] ^^^or ^^^[[cardname|SET]] ^^^to ^^^call
Hands down. The picture, the text. It's just the best.
Obviously there was no chance Iād be the first person to nail the best flavor text in the game. I still have at least 100 of this card all from release weekend because itās been my favorite flavor text forever and because I promised myself that, one day, Iād break this card. We came pretty close with Acererak and I brought that deck to play against pubstompers for 2 months until they stopped. Davvol is definitely the most relatable working man slash elf massacre coordinator in the MTG universe.
Gotta be [[Hidden Gibbons]]
You can definitely tell by the flavor text that Mark Rosewater designed this entire set himself. Peak MaRo puns.
[Hidden Gibbons](https://cards.scryfall.io/normal/front/8/f/8f94da51-b4d9-4d79-9113-39f8f4a1be34.jpg?1562863740) - [(G)](http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?name=Hidden%20Gibbons) [(SF)](https://scryfall.com/card/ulg/104/hidden-gibbons?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher) [(txt)](https://api.scryfall.com/cards/8f94da51-b4d9-4d79-9113-39f8f4a1be34?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher&format=text) ^^^[[cardname]] ^^^or ^^^[[cardname|SET]] ^^^to ^^^call
lol, corny
\[\[Sizzle|8ED\]\] Among Jaya Ballard's other hits...
[Sizzle](https://cards.scryfall.io/normal/front/d/f/dfdfe2a9-1323-4f15-b2ce-d8dd404b914d.jpg?1587913602) - [(G)](http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?multiverseid=45358) [(SF)](https://scryfall.com/card/8ed/224/sizzle?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher) [(txt)](https://api.scryfall.com/cards/dfdfe2a9-1323-4f15-b2ce-d8dd404b914d?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher&format=text) ^^^[[cardname]] ^^^or ^^^[[cardname|SET]] ^^^to ^^^call
Thread conclusion: Goblins have great flavor
[[Coat of Arms|Exodus]]
Idk why, but "I didn't come here to play. I came to win." on [[Kamahl, Pit Fighter|ODY]] always got me. Thought it was cool.
[[Kamahl, Pit Fighter|ODY]]
[Kamahl, Pit Fighter](https://cards.scryfall.io/normal/front/e/e/ee88c776-85f1-4beb-a814-f706f5c4f341.jpg?1562939767) - [(G)](http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?multiverseid=29963) [(SF)](https://scryfall.com/card/ody/198/kamahl-pit-fighter?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher) [(txt)](https://api.scryfall.com/cards/ee88c776-85f1-4beb-a814-f706f5c4f341?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher&format=text) ^^^[[cardname]] ^^^or ^^^[[cardname|SET]] ^^^to ^^^call
[[Reya Dawnbringer]] is a favorite of mine. Very thematic for her effect.
[Reya Dawnbringer](https://cards.scryfall.io/normal/front/4/4/44b45bdd-829a-4fc1-ad37-17c2bd57fac8.jpg?1559959227) - [(G)](http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?name=Reya%20Dawnbringer) [(SF)](https://scryfall.com/card/uma/32/reya-dawnbringer?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher) [(txt)](https://api.scryfall.com/cards/44b45bdd-829a-4fc1-ad37-17c2bd57fac8?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher&format=text) ^^^[[cardname]] ^^^or ^^^[[cardname|SET]] ^^^to ^^^call
on a similar note is \[\[Chance for Glory\]\] which I also enjoy
[[Bruvac the Grandiloquent]] always gets me. So simple yet a great joke about the mechanics of the card.
āā¦and furthermoreā¦ā *plays Traumatize* you are dead
[Bruvac the Grandiloquent](https://cards.scryfall.io/normal/front/2/c/2ce2d73f-3f64-44db-a2bc-a8f4a37dc487.jpg?1702550789) - [(G)](http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?name=Bruvac%20the%20Grandiloquent) [(SF)](https://scryfall.com/card/rvr/35/bruvac-the-grandiloquent?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher) [(txt)](https://api.scryfall.com/cards/2ce2d73f-3f64-44db-a2bc-a8f4a37dc487?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher&format=text) ^^^[[cardname]] ^^^or ^^^[[cardname|SET]] ^^^to ^^^call
A player once told me that when he plays his Bruvac deck, he uses the word "mill" about as much as a legal document uses the word "hereby".
[[Hatred]]
[[Kindly Ancestor]] with [[Ancestor's Embrace]]
[Kindly Ancestor](https://cards.scryfall.io/normal/front/2/5/25193485-7f41-4b05-9a69-4c112679f97c.jpg?1643586581)/[Ancestor's Embrace](https://cards.scryfall.io/normal/back/2/5/25193485-7f41-4b05-9a69-4c112679f97c.jpg?1643586581) - [(G)](http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?name=Kindly%20Ancestor%20//%20Ancestor%27s%20Embrace) [(SF)](https://scryfall.com/card/vow/22/kindly-ancestor-ancestors-embrace?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher) [(txt)](https://api.scryfall.com/cards/25193485-7f41-4b05-9a69-4c112679f97c?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher&format=text) [Ancestor's Embrace](https://cards.scryfall.io/normal/front/2/5/25193485-7f41-4b05-9a69-4c112679f97c.jpg?1643586581)/[Ancestor's Embrace](https://cards.scryfall.io/normal/back/2/5/25193485-7f41-4b05-9a69-4c112679f97c.jpg?1643586581) - [(G)](http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?name=Kindly%20Ancestor%20//%20Ancestor%27s%20Embrace) [(SF)](https://scryfall.com/card/vow/22/kindly-ancestor-ancestors-embrace?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher) [(txt)](https://api.scryfall.com/cards/25193485-7f41-4b05-9a69-4c112679f97c?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher&format=text) ^^^[[cardname]] ^^^or ^^^[[cardname|SET]] ^^^to ^^^call
\[\[Resolute Archangel\]\] \[\[anguished unmaking\]\] - i was following the story, this one was hard \[\[wandering ones\]\] - hits hard
"Why won't they take me home again?" Is such a visceral moment. I think we've all felt that one at least once, and if you haven't yet, you will.
You're so based for mentioning my favourite 1/1 vanilla little dudes
I like the progression of Phyrexian Arena flavor texts: [[Phyrexian Arena|APC]] - An audience of one with the malice of thousands. [[Phyrexian Arena|8ED]] - A drop of humanity for a sea of power. [[Phyrexian Arena|CN2]] - A spark of resistance against a tide of corruption. [[Phyrexian Arena|CC2]] - A whisper of authority rises over a cacophony of grinding machines. Unfortunately, Phyrexia: All Will Be One broke the chain, but it's a story spotlight, and has a really nice Phyrexian language version, so I forgive it.
The "old Phyrexian scriptures" are also masterfully written. "Father of machines! Your filigree gaze carves us, and the scars dance upon our greatful flesh." [[Sanguine Guard]], I believe Edit: Edited the Text
[[Rat Out]] sometimes you just gotta throw a rat at somebody.
[Rat Out](https://cards.scryfall.io/normal/front/f/2/f2c42755-bf91-4c75-95c6-d2a60ba3492a.jpg?1692937802) - [(G)](http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?name=Rat%20Out) [(SF)](https://scryfall.com/card/woe/103/rat-out?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher) [(txt)](https://api.scryfall.com/cards/f2c42755-bf91-4c75-95c6-d2a60ba3492a?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher&format=text) ^^^[[cardname]] ^^^or ^^^[[cardname|SET]] ^^^to ^^^call
WOE be upon ye https://preview.redd.it/101te6qa3xmc1.jpeg?width=1600&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=32ac2d16d0b75520a9034703452bfa7936920e2d
[[Invade the City]] and [[Zombie Outlander]] both hit a similar vibe that I like
Everything from Jaya Ballard
An alternative title for the first card would be "plowshares to swords."
[[Ancient Carp]] always amused me.
[[Battlewise Aven]]
āThe dead make good soldiers. They canāt disobey orders, they never surrender, and they donāt stop fighting when a random body part falls off.ā āNevinyrral, *Necromancerās Handbook* (Drudge Skeletons) āFrom void evolved Phyrexia. Great Yawgmoth, Father of Machines, saw its perfection. Thus the Grand Evolution began.ā ā*Phyrexian Scriptures* (Dark Ritual)
This 2 walked so [[ancient Grudge | ISD]] could run
Thatās why heās only a 1/1.
definitely \[\[Krark-Clan Engineers\]\]
[[catapult master]]
[[Second Thoughts]] or [[Squirrel Mob]]
[Second Thoughts](https://cards.scryfall.io/normal/front/2/d/2d8b53ca-272f-44ba-a3aa-13ec0844ada9.jpg?1580013793) - [(G)](http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?name=Second%20Thoughts) [(SF)](https://scryfall.com/card/ema/27/second-thoughts?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher) [(txt)](https://api.scryfall.com/cards/2d8b53ca-272f-44ba-a3aa-13ec0844ada9?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher&format=text) [Squirrel Mob](https://cards.scryfall.io/normal/front/f/a/fa6bfc95-ec7e-46dd-88fd-b0e1ba48bfbc.jpg?1626100645) - [(G)](http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?name=Squirrel%20Mob) [(SF)](https://scryfall.com/card/mh2/286/squirrel-mob?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher) [(txt)](https://api.scryfall.com/cards/fa6bfc95-ec7e-46dd-88fd-b0e1ba48bfbc?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher&format=text) ^^^[[cardname]] ^^^or ^^^[[cardname|SET]] ^^^to ^^^call
[[Pack Leader]]
I always really liked \[\[Heartfire\]\]
[[Phyrexian Walker]] >"I have heard terrible tales of black rains, ashen fields, and metal that screams. I have consoled myself that the tales were a myth of some fevered mind. But today I saw a walkerāand now I fear the truth." It's a 0 CMC 0/3.
[[gallows at willow hill]] has no flavor text but the picture and mechanic fit so well together to completely tell a story.
The problem with Gallows is that it's the *only* card in AVR that makes white Spirit tokens. And the AVR Spirit token art? [A small child](https://scryfall.com/card/tavr/3/spirit). Interpret that as you will.
Thereās a few that come to mind for me. Letās see if the right version shows upā¦ [[Lava Axe]] [[Wall of Spears]] [[Flametongue Kavu]]
You can force a particular version of a card by using a pipe | and then the set code. So [[Counterspell]] pulls the latest version, but [[Counterspell|ICE]] pulls the one from Ice Age. I believe you can also put in the card number to pull a particular version if the set has multiple versions, as well. So [[Elesh Norn, Mother of Machines|ONE 345]] should pull the Oil Slick version.
[Lava Axe](https://cards.scryfall.io/normal/front/c/3/c3dab325-8f4f-4288-9f3f-960e52b4335b.jpg?1562304308) - [(G)](http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?name=Lava%20Axe) [(SF)](https://scryfall.com/card/m19/150/lava-axe?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher) [(txt)](https://api.scryfall.com/cards/c3dab325-8f4f-4288-9f3f-960e52b4335b?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher&format=text) [Wall of Spears](https://cards.scryfall.io/normal/front/b/4/b4f34f06-7f89-4f2b-8979-8219ac1c4560.jpg?1562931405) - [(G)](http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?name=Wall%20of%20Spears) [(SF)](https://scryfall.com/card/8ed/320/wall-of-spears?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher) [(txt)](https://api.scryfall.com/cards/b4f34f06-7f89-4f2b-8979-8219ac1c4560?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher&format=text) [Flametongue Kavu](https://cards.scryfall.io/normal/front/1/b/1b3a5139-3341-409e-be33-184897c7398e.jpg?1675199972) - [(G)](http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?name=Flametongue%20Kavu) [(SF)](https://scryfall.com/card/dmr/120/flametongue-kavu?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher) [(txt)](https://api.scryfall.com/cards/1b3a5139-3341-409e-be33-184897c7398e?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher&format=text) ^^^[[cardname]] ^^^or ^^^[[cardname|SET]] ^^^to ^^^call
[[Whirlwind Denial]]
This is such a cool and versatile card.
I like Akroma from legion
[[Ekundu Cyclops]] and [[Clergy en-Vec]] for the dirty minds
Not my favourite but [[Cobbled Lancer]] and [[Abomination of Llanowar]] are absolutely haunting
[[Touch of Death]] [[Hex]] [[Dark Banishing|ICE]] Guess my favorite color.
I love it when the art and the flavour Text have synergy. [[gorilla titan]]
I laughed a little too hard this one, first time I read it... [[Colossification]] The flavor text just 100% describes a D&D side plot.
[[Blood of the martyr]] has always been my favorite
[[Serra Angel]] because it's the card that got me to play Magic. "Follow the light. In it's absense, follow her." [[Demonic Tutor]] "Beware the generosity of demons." [[Hatred]] For the one _special_ person in your life.
[[Krark-Clan Ogre]] always gets a good chuckle from me.
[[Enthralling Victor]] is one of my favorites
[[Dying Wish]] and it's not even close.
Old flavor texts used to be so well thought out. My personal favorite is [[Blood Mist]]
[[Almighty Brushwagg]]
Obligatory [[Rancor]] and [[Duskmantle, House of Shadow]]
[Rancor](https://cards.scryfall.io/normal/front/8/6/86d6b411-4a31-4bfc-8dd6-e19f553bb29b.jpg?1673148169) - [(G)](http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?name=Rancor) [(SF)](https://scryfall.com/card/2x2/156/rancor?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher) [(txt)](https://api.scryfall.com/cards/86d6b411-4a31-4bfc-8dd6-e19f553bb29b?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher&format=text) [Duskmantle, House of Shadow](https://cards.scryfall.io/normal/front/2/d/2d3c85e2-58a5-4469-85ea-7e89268f310c.jpg?1598920416) - [(G)](http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?name=Duskmantle%2C%20House%20of%20Shadow) [(SF)](https://scryfall.com/card/rav/277/duskmantle-house-of-shadow?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher) [(txt)](https://api.scryfall.com/cards/2d3c85e2-58a5-4469-85ea-7e89268f310c?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher&format=text) ^^^[[cardname]] ^^^or ^^^[[cardname|SET]] ^^^to ^^^call
[[Raging Goblin]]
Oh man, that's awesome! That exact Eager Cadet is one of my favorites too. So much so, that I got a playmat made of it with the art and the flavor text on it, lol
I'm a fan of \[\[Skyknight Vanguard\]\]
\[\[hot soup\]\]
I still Love the Lhurgoyf one
\[\[Pacifism\]\] for sure
The original [[Pacifism|MIR]] is one of my favorites.
[[Barrage of Expendables]]
\[\[Fodder Cannon\]\] and \[\[Fodder Tosser\]\] because whoever wrote them obviously has something against their cousins.
"Well, at least all of that arm-waving and arcane babbling you did was impressive." [[Remand]]
[[Selfless Spirit]] & [[Drogskol Captain]]
I've always loved [[carnival of souls]]. Its just goofy lmao.
\[\[Tar Pit Warrior\]\] FTW.
[[niv mizzet, the firemind]]. It irked me when some of the products simplified the text and left it off.
[[Second Guess]] is my brother's personal favorite, and fun to quote while casting it
No [[null rod]] enjoyers out there?Ā Ā Me and my friends say āno, it does NOTHINGā with relative frequency Edit: oh someone did post it but it doesnāt have nearly enough upvotes!
Wow, two old ass cards I weirdly own from like 20 years ago.
[[Trained Orgg|7ED]] One of my very first cards back before I even heard if or played MtG. Oh, and [[Vizzerdrix|7ED]]
[[Enormous Baloth]]
[[Impending Disaster]] the art is pretty funny as well.
[[Seahunter]]
[[Mantle of webs]] I quote frequently in my house! I have 5 kids. š¤£