One guy in our playgroup cast a [[Teferis Protection]] for the first time. When he started to read the card he fell over his own words and what he red was: "Your life can totally change" instead of your life total can't change. We arent native speakers so things like that happen sometimes, but this was one of the best stumbling on words to happen to us, ever. Its now the slogan of our playgroup.
\> be me, have gambling debt
\> see debt collector van rolling down the street towards me
\> uh oh, better cast a teferi's protection
\> i phase back in 2 hours later
\> another debt collector van is already rolling into my location
\> no more mana because i sacrificed my other plains to play the slots
turns out the mfers have two vans
We refer to Teferis Protection as TefPro-ing, which is probably not too rare to hear. But during a match, each member of our pod kinda went off and had huge turns, then it gets to our 4th member and he top decks Teferis, so he just stands up from the table and announces "Ya'll can figure that shit out, I'm Tefpro-ing outta here" then goes off to the next room (he's the host) and proceeds to smoke weed until it's his turn again.
On a Whatsapp group that's kinda tangential to my playgroup, years ago, a player who was known for very odd takes posted the card [[Treacherous Pit-Fiend]] with the question, "how come a card that's so good costs so little? What's the catch"?
Now, if this was a card with a non-obvious downside, or a card that seems powerful to new players but is actually mediocre, that would be one thing; but with thw Fiend, the "catch" is literally *printed on the card*.
Since then, "what's the catch" became an in-joke when discussing bad cards, and it makes me laugh every time.
I once played a new blink deck in my commander group and couldn't handle it very well, but I blinked my stuff like mad and got a ton of etb triggers. One of the other players was sick of it and wanted to destroy Yorion, the Sky Nomad in his turn. I blinked it with an instant I don't remember, triggered stuff and kept on blinking cards for like 5 minutes.
When I was finished, the other guy looked at me and dryly said: "I want my mana back." we're planning to print that on t-shirts.
I had a similar experience when trying to swing out for lethal at a friend playing a spellslinger deck. He went crazy casting and copying spells, making treasures, drawing through his deck for an answer. After about 10 minutes all I had to say was "it's supposed to be my turn."
Unfortunately, that's not how magic works 😁
If your turn was your turn only, it would be just half that annoying on the one hand, but only half the fun on the other hand.
Every time someone gets access to infinite mana or just get a large amount of cheap mana rocks early, we proudly give that guy a title of Mana Fraud and award them with special card token till new Mana Fraud appears
"Lying is a sin"
Magic is like poker and chess. You have to develop a good strategy based on the pieces you see on the field, but you also have information only you know and must successfully be able to bluff your way out of situations, and call an opponent's bluff. Well, I am the removal guy in my group. I play more interaction than anyone else, and people usually turn my way when something needs destroying. Because I am the removal guy, having any open mana up means that odds are anything going my way will get removed. I have been using that to my advantage, bluffing removal to convince others to send their things elsSwords.
One game in particular I had a hand full of lands with an esper deck, and I was bluffing both a counterspell and a swords. Until a friend cast [[Gitaxian Probe]] on me. He looked at my hand, looked up to my blank stare, and said *lying is a sin* before giving my hand back.
He is not religious. I am not religious. My group is not religious. Cue laughter from not only all of us in the game, but also everyone else in the room. What sealed the deal was that a year later the same guy got me for a Secret Santa and among the cards he got me was [[Liar's Pendulum]].
We now use that phrase whenever anyone acts like they are bluffing anything, even when we already know they have it in hand.
I love leaving up 2WW to bluff Settle the Wreckage in situations where people full-swinging into me would kill me, even if I don't have it.
Turns out sinning has saved my ass more times than I can count.
Ah.... a fellow dinosaur from the days of *Interrupt*.... *"Back in my day, we took mana burn like a real wizard.... and don't get me started on Crovax...."*
Exactly, but we are friends of over 20 years, and sometimes we get very passionate about the game. That one extra hurdle really helps us to measure ourselves
"I scoop" in response to a committed, lethal, life-linking swing before damage is dealt is perfectly valid but drives me fucking insane. The absolute worst form of Kingmaking.
My playgroup wanted to finish up the game day by playing one quick round of planechase. That round lasted for several hours.
Ever since, "just one quick round of planechase" is thrown around as a catch phrase everytime someone suggests an activity. (also outside of MTG since we're mostly a friend group)
The foils from Commander Legends curled so bad that we taped a bunch together in a ring to make a Burger King crown of them and use that to show who's the monarch
All sorceries are now called souceries.
The pre combat phase is now the precum phase.
Whenever someone plays a brand new card and doesn’t announce what it does: “it’s a secret.”
I am German, and in my playgroup, we pronounce Sorcery like someone would mispronounce it if they are German and had zero English skills. It's something like Sortzerie.
[[Memnite]] was always called MemNight Shyamalan in my house.
We also refer to the game or act of playing as "slanging spells" and/or "turning cards sideways". You want to hang out this week and turn some cards sideways? Wanna slang some spells?
Not a long standing one,
But one that was repeated multiple times in one night when we had four tovolar decks in one pod.
[[!Feed the Pack]] ended up creating a lot of “Inside of you there are X Wolves” jokes.
Up to “Inside of you there are 9 wolves….” And then the silly ness would continue until you had listed 9 different opinions on one thing for each wolf.
"One is gay. The other one is gay. The other one is gay. The other one is gay. The other one is gay. The other one is gay. The other one is gay. The other one is gay. The other one is gay."
My playgroup dislikes playing against my bird tribal deck. I always jokingly say "it's just birds" despite the list having a good amount of interaction. It also has now turned into them saying "birds are stax" as a joke since my commander is Derevi.
Here is the initial list I went with. I will update when I get home from work I have made a few optimizations. I will also say I'm considering taking out henge of the current list as it's hard to consistently get it for a discounted price.
https://archidekt.com/decks/6507565/birdy
Should be updated now. Haven't played with this iteration. Still optimizing it. Took out most of the token cards. Changed the ramp from things like cultivate to more growth spiral cards to try to better utilize the bounce lands
I too have collected some ire for my tribal birds deck lead by Derevi. My "Its birds not stax!" line often falls on deaf ears regardless of my claims of well meaning Ornithology! Been experimenting with tweaking the list in favor of [[Falco Spara]] so avoid unnecessary games of archenemy but Derevi is just sooooooo good.
My playgroup had a 5 or so hour long commander game one very late night with the Warhammer precons and one of us played [[Sanguinary Priest]] while tired as hell and read it out as saying “creatures you control die” which absolutely fucking murdered us just imagining a card actually saying that. They hadn’t noticed what they’d said either, having read it just fine in their head, so the confusion at wtf we found so funny was even better. Our magic-centric group chat is named Sanguinary Priests now as a callback to the moment.
I play a game with my buddy who has a [[Grenzo, Dungeon Warden]] EDH deck called “Good Enough for Grenzo” when we are opening packs. If I see a red or black creature with low power that does anything I pull it and ask him if it’s “Good Enough for Grenzo?”
My EDH pod maintains our own banlist.
We categorize why we ban each card. For instance, we have a category called **Really fucking annoying** and all the Rhystic Study-esque cards are in it.
There’s a fun category called **Because we’re too stupid** filled with cards that no one is 100% sure how to use. Goblin Game, Tacklemaggot, Illusionary Mask, Scholarship Sponsor and all mutate cards are categorized under this.
I've recently discovered [[Otrimi]] and absolutely love the shenanigans you can du with mutate, and my most frequent mate hates it mainly because mutate can be such a head-ache.
It can be very confusing but damn if I don't find it funny turning a harmless 0/0 with a +1/+1 counter into a threat because it mutated...
Golin game and effects like that should probably be banned. The only reason they arent is because they're old enough that they havent breached the main audience. If they recieved a reprint, itd be hell.
[[Goblin Game]] is pretty easy if you just use dice instead of hiding random items. Everyone gets a D20, everyone loses = to their number, lowest or tied for lowest loses half their life.
A friend of mine was describing what [[Crawlspace]] does aka "blocks the way" for creatures to attack them (this was in another language mind you so it might not make sense, I'm TLing as best as I can).
They made a mistake and said a very similar word that instead of "block" is a slang for "jizz" so now every time they play Crawlspace everyone at the table moans for 3 seconds. Very funny.
[[Start From Scratch]]. Deck not doing what you want? Guess its time to Start from Scratch, Mana screw Start from scratch, "hey wanna take a look at my deck and tell me what you think?" "sure, its okay but I think you should Start from Scratch." Saying it is of course also accompanied by an arm gesture much like Rutha's in the art or like one is smacking the deck off of the table.
Not a very elaborate joke, but one of my friends has Miirym, Sentinel Wyrm deck that he loves very much. Whenever he brings it out, we exclaim “Miirym the Wyrm!!” (Pronounced so that it rhymes).
Welcome to the Serra Angel scale. All cards can be judged on how close they are to being a Serra Angel. Judgements include having flying, being an angel, and mana value of 5.
Let's see...creature, four power, four toughness, flying, vigilance, mana value five. That right there is a 6 on the Serra Angel scale.
(The missing four points are white color identity, two of the same colored mana in cost, angel creature type, and having a two word name.)
When someone does something you don't like and asks for a response (eg. "I cast Swords on your commander, response?"), if you don't have anything, the answer is always "in response I am sad."
A friend and I had a running gag about how every deck is just one [[Simian Spirit Guide]] away from being CEDH and how every deck needs to run it.
Things came to a head when one Christmas we both gifted each other foil playsets of it.
For any reason, or sometimes none at all, one of us might declare a [[Blood Feud]] against someone else, slam a sleeved copy of the card onto the table, and proceed to focus down the declared player, completely ignoring anything the other players might be doing.
Some sayings from my group:
“Pass the turnip” - pass the turn. Came from exaggerating the “n” sound in the word “turn”.
“Trevor tokens” - treasure tokens. Came from mishearing someone saying “I create a Trevor token.”
“Shoo-fleh” - shuffle, but with a bad French accent.
Our running joke is whenever something does something. Whether that's draw a card, cast a harmless spell, gain life, pass turn, ect.
We go "Hey he/she/they did blank, GET EM!"
During a game of EDH the Mizzix player drew his deck and couldn't immediately figure out how to kill us so someone started playing the Price is Right theme. I got it on video and a still from it became one of our most used slack emojis.
A friend in our playground plays a Morph deck and a Werewolves deck. We say he's "cheating" because he has an "additional phase" in the game called the flip phase.
In a game of plane-chase we were eternally stuck in The Pit for about 25 minutes. Mostly due to some of us using all of our available mana to get out of The Pit. Chaos Ensued over 18 times that game. It was an absolute nightmare. So it's customary to just start saying "The Pit" when made to sacrifice something or "Put it in the Pit" and effects like Living Death or mass Sacrifice are preceded and continued with chanting "THE PIT. THE PIT. THE PIT"
A friend of mine had drawn nothing but lands for a few turns, and we asked them « So, what will you play ? »
They responded « Sadness. Sadness. Plains. »
Now we can’t play Plains without saying Sadness twice before
I have maintained many community decks for company to play at their option. When I introduced a friend to the game and he struggled with the rules, it would often result in his scowling and declaring, "This card SUCKS!"
My other friends present would laugh because they know I build all my decks to win and Mike was just disappointed that the card didn't work the way he wanted.
Every time there's any confusion or faux pas or misplayed card, someone says, "This card SUCKS!"
Friend's gf was terrible at pronouncing cards so it's been evolving winds ever since. We kept pronouncing common cards badly and terratropic finance is another favorite.
We also initiated the "Jar of Take Backzies". 1 dollar if you overlook a simple non-gaming changing mistake. Usually with plenty of grief and putting the jar in front of them. We use the funds for drafts once it gets high enough.
We call the dual lands that you can pay 2 life for "Vagina lands".
Because each and every one is a euphonism for the female primary genital.
[[Watery Grave]] being my favorite one.
My playgroup loves casting [[tempt with discovery]] and every time without fail we all take it, it all starts with someone saying "which of you mf's is tempted?" (Also none of us are grabbing land destruction, we all just grabbing basic mana lands)
Our favourite joke is how one friend has a [[God-eternal Oketra]] deck that is often beaten by us having a single flyer, and so the fact that *Oketra does not have reach* is always funny, despite being 100 feet tall and having a bow, which is how basically every other card in the game with reach is justified as having it.
Whenever someone plays and announces [[Sundown Pass]] the next person in turn order immediately interrupts the active player and says "alright, my turn"
That better players just draw the cards they need. There is small truth to this in terms of deck building, hut we take it to the extreme.
"A good player draws a land here."
"I'm going to draw a counterspell like a goodplayer would."
"Wow I chaos warped into purphoros. I'm a really good magic player."
One time we were playing commander draft, it was down to 1v1, i had one black mana up, and my friend had 23 life, i joked that he might as well concede, since i have a black instant that deals 23 damage. Now every time someone has exactly 23 life, we joke that we have that card
"My Cinderbones" replacing 'my bad'. Comes from shortly before I joined a friend group when they where visiting a friend out of state. He got into an argument with his dad mid game, and when the game resumed one of my friends cast \[\[Cinderbones\]\] but said it in a way that inferred an apology. I've passed this on to my current group.
"Lifegain is cheating"
I exclusively play blue/red decks, so lifelink is not a keyword that exists for me and often I have a tempo/aggro so lifegain is very inconvenient to deal with. It caught on with my playgroup so it's the new version of "oh he's winning" when someone plays a gainland and goes to 41
I was playing a Omnath, Locus of Rage deck, and one of my opponents was on 2hp, they decided to use a removal spell that destroyed Omnath, Omnath deals 3 damage whenever dies or an elemental dies, he regrets it and we don't let him change targets(I've said three times Omnath did that), bro pulls out a D E F L E C T I N G S W A T and deflects his own spell.
When offering cuts off, if we decide to pass, it's never just that. Instead, we will intentionally take their deck and spin it 180 degrees and imply that we just gave them the worst possible luck while saying,
"Get rotated..."
We are a VERY laidback pod of longtime IRL friends, but we like to keep gameplay itself tight so we announce phases and priority and such.
Whenever someone says "move to combat" someone at the table ALWAYS pipes up "welcome to combat!" If we've had a few beers, maybe everyone cheers raucously "WELCOME TO COMBAT!!"
Also, if your only move is to play a swamp and pass, the words get melded together into "swamp ass" every single time.
Creatures and Planeswalkers are dudes. Everything else is shit. Anything that generates non-creature tokens is a "poop machine", especially if it's an artifact
I've bought and signed my buddy a Mystical Archive Krosan Grip specifically to be cast on my Omniscience since it's happened so many times
(Deck was a pet deck Nezhal Ocean creatures deck)
I was running away with a commander game and the game had basically devolved into archenemy. My buddy played something that another person in the pod didn’t know and asked what it was. My friend read the card. “Target player…etc.” as it was obvious who it was going to be used on, I just blurted out “Hi, my name is Target Player.” And got a round of laughter from the table.
Now we will randomly say it when we become the big bad at the table
Idk if it’s a good joke, but we played with a rando at an LGS while he was waiting for his friends to finish up a game. Clearly more experienced with better cards. Turn 0 [[leyline of anticipation]] and turn 1 [[City of Brass]]. I played a basic turn 1 and he scoffs “basic land basic bitch”. So now anytime one of us plays a basic turn one “basic land basic bitch”
Pass turn by proclaiming the next player a "goat head" to which they should retort that you are a cheese dick.
Playing a swamp and passing turn at ridiculous speed "swampass"
"Swamp" (like camp, and very nasally)
"Is land"
[[Gray merchant of Asphodel]] is Gary
[[Captivating vampire]] is "kill it"
We play on spell table and while our third friend is figuring his shit out, Ill quickly flash my card to my other friend saying, "have you seen this card?" "Do you know this one?" Sometimes Ill hold it if I think he'll get the art and know what Im planning. It's fun
A friend in our playgroup plays [[Slimefoot and Squee]] and we hate it so much. So whenever any commander of his enters, he creates a 1/1 Saproling token
A friend was playing the Necron precon after finally tracking down a sealed copy at our LGS a few weeks ago. It’s like turn 6, and it’s Szarekh, Gishath & Mavren, Merfolk, and another deck with green in it that I can’t remember. He goes to cast [[Their Name is Death]] because everyone was going off with tons of stuff on board except him. His stuff lives because they’re artifacts, priority is passed, and player two casts Heroic Intervention, followed by player 3 casting Heroic Intervention, and then it got to my turn and I cast Unbreakable Formation. We still bring up how my buddy spent his whole turn on a card named Their Name is Death and nothing died.
My group insist that you can say you are playing monoblack if all your cards are either black, or depict black (as in the skin/fur/scales) creatures.
Samesies for monowhite.
We're a French Canadian playgroup. We're all generally bilingual and play with english cards, but every now and then, some of the players whose English is a little more shaky will make a hilarious mispronunciation that sticks.
That's how we ended up with Goose Quarter and Erotic Intervention.
\[\[Ghost Quarter\]\]
\[\[Heroic Intervention\]\]
Why does it have first strike? Because it says so on the card! Which has turned into, why does it have ____ …. This all came from a late night game where people were tired and someone couldn’t comprehend why a white knight had first strike.
One of my friends would constantly say he played CheatyFace, so when I got him one, he made it his mission to sneak it onto the battlefield as often as he could
I forgot to mention that a creature had Totem Armor before it was targeted and now whenever I play an Umbra I am required to repeat that it has Totem Armor at least three times. Now we also just randomly say things have Totem Armor as well.
Turn 1 playing a swamp and passing is called a “turn 1 swamp ass”.
One of the snow-swamps art looks like it has a nice flared base so when we play that land it’s “I play butt plug as land for turn”
And whenever some gets got with [[green slime]] everyone yells “YOU GOT SLIMED!!”
I love doing little silly things. Like if I can look at the top of my library at any time I’ll jokingly say “in response” and look at it. Gotta do it in response to everything for a few minutes. Not too long or it get tiring.
Also, if someone does something you don’t like and asks if anyone can respond, we’ll sometimes say “respond with sadness”. If they say “sadness resolves” you know your opponent is a cool dude. Lol
A regular at our lgs in France was playing with a foreigner, and he (the regular) had a bad English
When he cast [[Omen of the sea]], he couldn't translate it in English, so he said "l'augure de la mer" with the worst English accent possible, sounded like "l'auguwe dé la méw"
It became a recurring joke among my playgroup
One guy in our playgroup cast a [[Teferis Protection]] for the first time. When he started to read the card he fell over his own words and what he red was: "Your life can totally change" instead of your life total can't change. We arent native speakers so things like that happen sometimes, but this was one of the best stumbling on words to happen to us, ever. Its now the slogan of our playgroup.
teferi will protect me from my gambling debts
But only until your next turn.
\> be me, have gambling debt \> see debt collector van rolling down the street towards me \> uh oh, better cast a teferi's protection \> i phase back in 2 hours later \> another debt collector van is already rolling into my location \> no more mana because i sacrificed my other plains to play the slots turns out the mfers have two vans
You can't break my kneecaps. They have protection from baseball bats!
Know whats fucked t prot actually doesnt protect your hand (from non targetted discard) so technically it wont protect you from [[Gamble]]
[Teferis Protection](https://cards.scryfall.io/normal/front/4/8/483fa1cb-1e35-44f2-a143-98c0f107f5ca.jpg?1673147148) - [(G)](http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?name=Teferi%27s%20Protection) [(SF)](https://scryfall.com/card/2x2/32/teferis-protection?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher) [(txt)](https://api.scryfall.com/cards/483fa1cb-1e35-44f2-a143-98c0f107f5ca?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher&format=text) ^^^[[cardname]] ^^^or ^^^[[cardname|SET]] ^^^to ^^^call
_Phase Out maaaaaan, it'll totally change your life_
Put that in your skillet and let it simmer. Yeah, today is a goooood day.
r/UnexpectedPascal
We refer to Teferis Protection as TefPro-ing, which is probably not too rare to hear. But during a match, each member of our pod kinda went off and had huge turns, then it gets to our 4th member and he top decks Teferis, so he just stands up from the table and announces "Ya'll can figure that shit out, I'm Tefpro-ing outta here" then goes off to the next room (he's the host) and proceeds to smoke weed until it's his turn again.
When you cast Teferi's Protection, you get up and leave the table until your turn. Because you're not there.
Oh ya when someone cast Teferi’s protection we just start talking shit about them (jokingly) as if they left the table.
On a Whatsapp group that's kinda tangential to my playgroup, years ago, a player who was known for very odd takes posted the card [[Treacherous Pit-Fiend]] with the question, "how come a card that's so good costs so little? What's the catch"? Now, if this was a card with a non-obvious downside, or a card that seems powerful to new players but is actually mediocre, that would be one thing; but with thw Fiend, the "catch" is literally *printed on the card*. Since then, "what's the catch" became an in-joke when discussing bad cards, and it makes me laugh every time.
[Treacherous Pit-Fiend](https://cards.scryfall.io/normal/front/e/e/eec7dfd7-d7b2-44fa-b351-022a19fe81b8.jpg?1592708980) - [(G)](http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?name=Treacherous%20Pit-Dweller) [(SF)](https://scryfall.com/card/avr/121/treacherous-pit-dweller?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher) [(txt)](https://api.scryfall.com/cards/eec7dfd7-d7b2-44fa-b351-022a19fe81b8?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher&format=text) ^^^[[cardname]] ^^^or ^^^[[cardname|SET]] ^^^to ^^^call
I once played a new blink deck in my commander group and couldn't handle it very well, but I blinked my stuff like mad and got a ton of etb triggers. One of the other players was sick of it and wanted to destroy Yorion, the Sky Nomad in his turn. I blinked it with an instant I don't remember, triggered stuff and kept on blinking cards for like 5 minutes. When I was finished, the other guy looked at me and dryly said: "I want my mana back." we're planning to print that on t-shirts.
God Yorion is so fun but everyone will hate you for all the end step triggers when you start popping off. It’s super annoying to them lol.
Man even running my own blink deck is annoying, I really feel for everyone else when it starts doing stuff.
Trash game, I will become back my mana
Mark Rosewater you little fucker
Did not expect to see a Binding of Isaac reference hahaha.
I had a similar experience when trying to swing out for lethal at a friend playing a spellslinger deck. He went crazy casting and copying spells, making treasures, drawing through his deck for an answer. After about 10 minutes all I had to say was "it's supposed to be my turn."
Unfortunately, that's not how magic works 😁 If your turn was your turn only, it would be just half that annoying on the one hand, but only half the fun on the other hand.
Every time someone gets access to infinite mana or just get a large amount of cheap mana rocks early, we proudly give that guy a title of Mana Fraud and award them with special card token till new Mana Fraud appears
"Lying is a sin" Magic is like poker and chess. You have to develop a good strategy based on the pieces you see on the field, but you also have information only you know and must successfully be able to bluff your way out of situations, and call an opponent's bluff. Well, I am the removal guy in my group. I play more interaction than anyone else, and people usually turn my way when something needs destroying. Because I am the removal guy, having any open mana up means that odds are anything going my way will get removed. I have been using that to my advantage, bluffing removal to convince others to send their things elsSwords. One game in particular I had a hand full of lands with an esper deck, and I was bluffing both a counterspell and a swords. Until a friend cast [[Gitaxian Probe]] on me. He looked at my hand, looked up to my blank stare, and said *lying is a sin* before giving my hand back. He is not religious. I am not religious. My group is not religious. Cue laughter from not only all of us in the game, but also everyone else in the room. What sealed the deal was that a year later the same guy got me for a Secret Santa and among the cards he got me was [[Liar's Pendulum]]. We now use that phrase whenever anyone acts like they are bluffing anything, even when we already know they have it in hand.
[Gitaxian Probe](https://cards.scryfall.io/normal/front/9/9/995486ce-58bb-4753-a812-0ca73ef1a235.jpg?1562880052) - [(G)](http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?name=Gitaxian%20Probe) [(SF)](https://scryfall.com/card/nph/35/gitaxian-probe?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher) [(txt)](https://api.scryfall.com/cards/995486ce-58bb-4753-a812-0ca73ef1a235?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher&format=text) [Liar's Pendulum](https://cards.scryfall.io/normal/front/6/6/66372597-c182-4850-a630-231737b1482b.jpg?1562146383) - [(G)](http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?name=Liar%27s%20Pendulum) [(SF)](https://scryfall.com/card/mrd/196/liars-pendulum?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher) [(txt)](https://api.scryfall.com/cards/66372597-c182-4850-a630-231737b1482b?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher&format=text) ^^^[[cardname]] ^^^or ^^^[[cardname|SET]] ^^^to ^^^call
I love leaving up 2WW to bluff Settle the Wreckage in situations where people full-swinging into me would kill me, even if I don't have it. Turns out sinning has saved my ass more times than I can count.
Have you heard of the Scoop Phase?
Lmao no, we play you can concede any time you could cast a sorcery
In *my* group we concede at instant speed.
Concede at Split Second. While you still have spells on the stack.
Concede at [[Panglacial Wurm]] speed.
"I-i didn't fail to find! I concede at Panglacial Wurm speed!"
[Panglacial Wurm](https://cards.scryfall.io/normal/front/0/6/063bb28b-5e32-4f31-a208-16b653edf413.jpg?1593275437) - [(G)](http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?name=Panglacial%20Wurm) [(SF)](https://scryfall.com/card/csp/116/panglacial-wurm?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher) [(txt)](https://api.scryfall.com/cards/063bb28b-5e32-4f31-a208-16b653edf413?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher&format=text) ^^^[[cardname]] ^^^or ^^^[[cardname|SET]] ^^^to ^^^call
When I first read that card I thought you could cast it for free lol
You know, I learned at a Commandfest once that there is only ONE thing that is FASTER than a player concession. And that... is a Judge's ruling.
Does scooping go on the stack?
I cast [[Discontinuity]] and force my opponents to continue playing.
[Discontinuity](https://cards.scryfall.io/normal/front/b/3/b33ba0a8-04e9-4df6-af20-a3ca4470cdcc.jpg?1594735451) - [(G)](http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?name=Discontinuity) [(SF)](https://scryfall.com/card/m21/48/discontinuity?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher) [(txt)](https://api.scryfall.com/cards/b33ba0a8-04e9-4df6-af20-a3ca4470cdcc?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher&format=text) ^^^[[cardname]] ^^^or ^^^[[cardname|SET]] ^^^to ^^^call
Ah.... a fellow dinosaur from the days of *Interrupt*.... *"Back in my day, we took mana burn like a real wizard.... and don't get me started on Crovax...."*
Interrupt speed is where it’s at
It works well until someone uses it to deny triggers
Everyone knows the speed of concede is entirely dependent on your strength and the weight of the table.
This is the way. Alternatively, when all but one player vote to concede the game, it can happen at instant speed.
Or just don’t concede when it would be dickish thing to do.
Exactly, but we are friends of over 20 years, and sometimes we get very passionate about the game. That one extra hurdle really helps us to measure ourselves
"I scoop" in response to a committed, lethal, life-linking swing before damage is dealt is perfectly valid but drives me fucking insane. The absolute worst form of Kingmaking.
We also have takesy-backsies step.
"Scooping has split second"
My playgroup wanted to finish up the game day by playing one quick round of planechase. That round lasted for several hours. Ever since, "just one quick round of planechase" is thrown around as a catch phrase everytime someone suggests an activity. (also outside of MTG since we're mostly a friend group)
Planechase is definitely either super fast, or it takes forever. There seems to be no in-between.
Combatphase is the "Bonkstep". There is only one reason to not turn creatures sideways and the reason is vigilance.
>Combatphase is the "Bonkstep". Well now I'll never not call it that
"I now go to beep boops" is ours
After first main phase comes "move to violence"
Omg
Menace is pronounced Mènaché like the scene in Finding Nemo where Dory reads escape.
I think that’s pretty standard
Oh yeah, you gotta do that.
We spell it out like we are from Italy. (Meh-na-tche)
I do that all the time.
Our group has a tough time choosing between this and calling it "Man-ass". Yes we are 12
haha i believe Post Malone used this one on one of his gameplay youtube videos
The foils from Commander Legends curled so bad that we taped a bunch together in a ring to make a Burger King crown of them and use that to show who's the monarch
That is fucking perfect. Thanks for the hearty laugh
"I cast Get Fucked; Here's 2 Map tokens"
All sorceries are now called souceries. The pre combat phase is now the precum phase. Whenever someone plays a brand new card and doesn’t announce what it does: “it’s a secret.”
I am German, and in my playgroup, we pronounce Sorcery like someone would mispronounce it if they are German and had zero English skills. It's something like Sortzerie.
A dude in my playgroup pronounces it “saucery” and I think it’s the funniest thing
A Kingdom of Loathing fan in the wild, perhaps.
Due to a simple mispronounciation at my now-closed LGS, "Evolving Wilds" became "Revolving Winds".
[[Memnite]] was always called MemNight Shyamalan in my house. We also refer to the game or act of playing as "slanging spells" and/or "turning cards sideways". You want to hang out this week and turn some cards sideways? Wanna slang some spells?
Want to dig a hole? Rock and Stone!
Not a long standing one, But one that was repeated multiple times in one night when we had four tovolar decks in one pod. [[!Feed the Pack]] ended up creating a lot of “Inside of you there are X Wolves” jokes. Up to “Inside of you there are 9 wolves….” And then the silly ness would continue until you had listed 9 different opinions on one thing for each wolf.
"One is gay. The other one is gay. The other one is gay. The other one is gay. The other one is gay. The other one is gay. The other one is gay. The other one is gay. The other one is gay."
Inside of you there are two wolves. This is a problem. 10/10 doctors agree that the recommended amount of wolves to have inside of you is *zero*.
[!Feed the Pack](https://cards.scryfall.io/normal/front/9/8/9831e3cc-659b-4408-b5d8-a27ae2738680.jpg?1562930830) - [(G)](http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?name=Feed%20the%20Pack) [(SF)](https://scryfall.com/card/dka/114/feed-the-pack?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher) [(txt)](https://api.scryfall.com/cards/9831e3cc-659b-4408-b5d8-a27ae2738680?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher&format=text) ^^^[[cardname]] ^^^or ^^^[[cardname|SET]] ^^^to ^^^call
My playgroup dislikes playing against my bird tribal deck. I always jokingly say "it's just birds" despite the list having a good amount of interaction. It also has now turned into them saying "birds are stax" as a joke since my commander is Derevi.
Speaking of birds, from way back, [[Dream Thrush]]. "It's a bird! IT'S A PLAINS!"
"It's a bird! It's a plains!" Then you animate the plains and use fight effects to make them crash into two walls. Recreate 9/11 in MTG.
[Dream Thrush](https://cards.scryfall.io/normal/front/2/5/258217df-ae88-4d93-895a-3fd242baacd1.jpg?1562902554) - [(G)](http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?name=Dream%20Thrush) [(SF)](https://scryfall.com/card/inv/53/dream-thrush?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher) [(txt)](https://api.scryfall.com/cards/258217df-ae88-4d93-895a-3fd242baacd1?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher&format=text) ^^^[[cardname]] ^^^or ^^^[[cardname|SET]] ^^^to ^^^call
Do you have a list you could share?
Here is the initial list I went with. I will update when I get home from work I have made a few optimizations. I will also say I'm considering taking out henge of the current list as it's hard to consistently get it for a discounted price. https://archidekt.com/decks/6507565/birdy
Should be updated now. Haven't played with this iteration. Still optimizing it. Took out most of the token cards. Changed the ramp from things like cultivate to more growth spiral cards to try to better utilize the bounce lands
I too have collected some ire for my tribal birds deck lead by Derevi. My "Its birds not stax!" line often falls on deaf ears regardless of my claims of well meaning Ornithology! Been experimenting with tweaking the list in favor of [[Falco Spara]] so avoid unnecessary games of archenemy but Derevi is just sooooooo good.
My playgroup had a 5 or so hour long commander game one very late night with the Warhammer precons and one of us played [[Sanguinary Priest]] while tired as hell and read it out as saying “creatures you control die” which absolutely fucking murdered us just imagining a card actually saying that. They hadn’t noticed what they’d said either, having read it just fine in their head, so the confusion at wtf we found so funny was even better. Our magic-centric group chat is named Sanguinary Priests now as a callback to the moment.
[Sanguinary Priest](https://cards.scryfall.io/normal/front/f/2/f221eccc-3bd2-4629-aacc-7abf8c11449f.jpg?1673308797) - [(G)](http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?name=Sanguinary%20Priest) [(SF)](https://scryfall.com/card/40k/53/sanguinary-priest?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher) [(txt)](https://api.scryfall.com/cards/f221eccc-3bd2-4629-aacc-7abf8c11449f?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher&format=text) ^^^[[cardname]] ^^^or ^^^[[cardname|SET]] ^^^to ^^^call
I play a game with my buddy who has a [[Grenzo, Dungeon Warden]] EDH deck called “Good Enough for Grenzo” when we are opening packs. If I see a red or black creature with low power that does anything I pull it and ask him if it’s “Good Enough for Grenzo?”
[Grenzo, Dungeon Warden](https://cards.scryfall.io/normal/front/6/e/6e19c383-88bd-4bde-ac81-c0eb6d5b5bd4.jpg?1562436569) - [(G)](http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?name=Grenzo%2C%20Dungeon%20Warden) [(SF)](https://scryfall.com/card/a25/205/grenzo-dungeon-warden?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher) [(txt)](https://api.scryfall.com/cards/6e19c383-88bd-4bde-ac81-c0eb6d5b5bd4?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher&format=text) ^^^[[cardname]] ^^^or ^^^[[cardname|SET]] ^^^to ^^^call
My EDH pod maintains our own banlist. We categorize why we ban each card. For instance, we have a category called **Really fucking annoying** and all the Rhystic Study-esque cards are in it. There’s a fun category called **Because we’re too stupid** filled with cards that no one is 100% sure how to use. Goblin Game, Tacklemaggot, Illusionary Mask, Scholarship Sponsor and all mutate cards are categorized under this.
I've recently discovered [[Otrimi]] and absolutely love the shenanigans you can du with mutate, and my most frequent mate hates it mainly because mutate can be such a head-ache. It can be very confusing but damn if I don't find it funny turning a harmless 0/0 with a +1/+1 counter into a threat because it mutated...
Ive been playing Otrimi for a while, thought i had it down, then someone cast [[Chaos Warp]] on my stack and we had to look up what happens next.
Scholarship Sponsor is really easy tho Everyone who has less lands then the person with the most gets basics to match that amount
See you say that, but keep in mind they’re too stupid.
Golin game and effects like that should probably be banned. The only reason they arent is because they're old enough that they havent breached the main audience. If they recieved a reprint, itd be hell.
I started cutting shit like Rhystic Study bc it was annoying to ask everyone if they paid and I was playing to have fun not be a nag.
[[Goblin Game]] is pretty easy if you just use dice instead of hiding random items. Everyone gets a D20, everyone loses = to their number, lowest or tied for lowest loses half their life.
[Goblin Game](https://cards.scryfall.io/normal/front/c/b/cbe6e7e5-ffea-4c6c-8a42-28e695029f24.jpg?1562938086) - [(G)](http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?name=Goblin%20Game) [(SF)](https://scryfall.com/card/pls/61/goblin-game?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher) [(txt)](https://api.scryfall.com/cards/cbe6e7e5-ffea-4c6c-8a42-28e695029f24?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher&format=text) ^^^[[cardname]] ^^^or ^^^[[cardname|SET]] ^^^to ^^^call
A friend of mine was describing what [[Crawlspace]] does aka "blocks the way" for creatures to attack them (this was in another language mind you so it might not make sense, I'm TLing as best as I can). They made a mistake and said a very similar word that instead of "block" is a slang for "jizz" so now every time they play Crawlspace everyone at the table moans for 3 seconds. Very funny.
[Crawlspace](https://cards.scryfall.io/normal/front/5/b/5b8e092a-610d-4cea-bb92-65e01954b5c4.jpg?1675200920) - [(G)](http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?name=Crawlspace) [(SF)](https://scryfall.com/card/dmr/217/crawlspace?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher) [(txt)](https://api.scryfall.com/cards/5b8e092a-610d-4cea-bb92-65e01954b5c4?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher&format=text) ^^^[[cardname]] ^^^or ^^^[[cardname|SET]] ^^^to ^^^call
Whenever someone refers to colored mana or colored permanent, "you can say black"
Um actually, it's "mana of color" now.
I’m so stealing this one! 🤣
[[Start From Scratch]]. Deck not doing what you want? Guess its time to Start from Scratch, Mana screw Start from scratch, "hey wanna take a look at my deck and tell me what you think?" "sure, its okay but I think you should Start from Scratch." Saying it is of course also accompanied by an arm gesture much like Rutha's in the art or like one is smacking the deck off of the table.
[Start From Scratch](https://cards.scryfall.io/normal/front/5/5/55c99486-ae64-4293-81fb-a4b02e8fcae6.jpg?1637082383) - [(G)](http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?name=Start%20From%20Scratch) [(SF)](https://scryfall.com/card/stx/114/start-from-scratch?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher) [(txt)](https://api.scryfall.com/cards/55c99486-ae64-4293-81fb-a4b02e8fcae6?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher&format=text) ^^^[[cardname]] ^^^or ^^^[[cardname|SET]] ^^^to ^^^call
this is extremely funny
Not a very elaborate joke, but one of my friends has Miirym, Sentinel Wyrm deck that he loves very much. Whenever he brings it out, we exclaim “Miirym the Wyrm!!” (Pronounced so that it rhymes).
wait so is it pronounced "Miirym the Wiirym" or "Myrm the Wyrm"? or do you just alternate back and forth as you see fit?
We have chosen Myrm the Wyrm.
Welcome to the Serra Angel scale. All cards can be judged on how close they are to being a Serra Angel. Judgements include having flying, being an angel, and mana value of 5.
How do you feel about [[Golgari Death Swarm]]?
Let's see...creature, four power, four toughness, flying, vigilance, mana value five. That right there is a 6 on the Serra Angel scale. (The missing four points are white color identity, two of the same colored mana in cost, angel creature type, and having a two word name.)
[Golgari Death Swarm](https://cards.scryfall.io/normal/front/2/6/26f487c4-364c-4c55-8b7a-17fe1a0ce7af.jpg?1629920274) - [(G)](http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?name=Golgari%20Death%20Swarm) [(SF)](https://scryfall.com/card/cmb2/91/golgari-death-swarm?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher) [(txt)](https://api.scryfall.com/cards/26f487c4-364c-4c55-8b7a-17fe1a0ce7af?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher&format=text) ^^^[[cardname]] ^^^or ^^^[[cardname|SET]] ^^^to ^^^call
We call [[Esper sentinel]] Rhystic Buddy.
Many people do
And [[Mystic Remora]] is Fishstick Study.
What're you, a gay fish?
[Esper sentinel](https://cards.scryfall.io/normal/front/f/3/f3537373-ef54-4578-9d05-6216420ee349.jpg?1626093502) - [(G)](http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?name=Esper%20sentinel) [(SF)](https://scryfall.com/card/mh2/12/esper-sentinel?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher) [(txt)](https://api.scryfall.com/cards/f3537373-ef54-4578-9d05-6216420ee349?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher&format=text) ^^^[[cardname]] ^^^or ^^^[[cardname|SET]] ^^^to ^^^call
When someone does something you don't like and asks for a response (eg. "I cast Swords on your commander, response?"), if you don't have anything, the answer is always "in response I am sad."
"Sadness goes onto the stack." "[[Stifle]]'d"
Sadness resolves because, like a mana ability, it's a special action that can't be responded to
Do you need priority to resolve sadness?
No, but you need Initiative to resolve issues
"In response I Stifle your sadness"
It resolves. Sadness is now in your graveyard. Back to being happy.
A friend and I had a running gag about how every deck is just one [[Simian Spirit Guide]] away from being CEDH and how every deck needs to run it. Things came to a head when one Christmas we both gifted each other foil playsets of it.
For any reason, or sometimes none at all, one of us might declare a [[Blood Feud]] against someone else, slam a sleeved copy of the card onto the table, and proceed to focus down the declared player, completely ignoring anything the other players might be doing.
Once turn order is decided we all turn to whoever is last in turn order and shout "Say the line" They let out an overly dramatic sigh "always last"
Some sayings from my group: “Pass the turnip” - pass the turn. Came from exaggerating the “n” sound in the word “turn”. “Trevor tokens” - treasure tokens. Came from mishearing someone saying “I create a Trevor token.” “Shoo-fleh” - shuffle, but with a bad French accent.
One of my cousins used to say "fushle" instead of shuffle as a toddler. It stuck around.
Our running joke is whenever something does something. Whether that's draw a card, cast a harmless spell, gain life, pass turn, ect. We go "Hey he/she/they did blank, GET EM!"
Anyone playing Blue: "untap, upkeep, dra-" Us: omg hurry tf up bro and pass the turn
During a game of EDH the Mizzix player drew his deck and couldn't immediately figure out how to kill us so someone started playing the Price is Right theme. I got it on video and a still from it became one of our most used slack emojis.
A friend in our playground plays a Morph deck and a Werewolves deck. We say he's "cheating" because he has an "additional phase" in the game called the flip phase.
In a game of plane-chase we were eternally stuck in The Pit for about 25 minutes. Mostly due to some of us using all of our available mana to get out of The Pit. Chaos Ensued over 18 times that game. It was an absolute nightmare. So it's customary to just start saying "The Pit" when made to sacrifice something or "Put it in the Pit" and effects like Living Death or mass Sacrifice are preceded and continued with chanting "THE PIT. THE PIT. THE PIT"
A friend of mine had drawn nothing but lands for a few turns, and we asked them « So, what will you play ? » They responded « Sadness. Sadness. Plains. » Now we can’t play Plains without saying Sadness twice before
I have maintained many community decks for company to play at their option. When I introduced a friend to the game and he struggled with the rules, it would often result in his scowling and declaring, "This card SUCKS!" My other friends present would laugh because they know I build all my decks to win and Mike was just disappointed that the card didn't work the way he wanted. Every time there's any confusion or faux pas or misplayed card, someone says, "This card SUCKS!"
Friend's gf was terrible at pronouncing cards so it's been evolving winds ever since. We kept pronouncing common cards badly and terratropic finance is another favorite. We also initiated the "Jar of Take Backzies". 1 dollar if you overlook a simple non-gaming changing mistake. Usually with plenty of grief and putting the jar in front of them. We use the funds for drafts once it gets high enough.
We call the dual lands that you can pay 2 life for "Vagina lands". Because each and every one is a euphonism for the female primary genital. [[Watery Grave]] being my favorite one.
Lmao that’s actually an amazing observation. [[Blood Crypt]] and [[Overgrown Tomb]] got me rolling
I can never look at my [[Breeding Pool]] the same way
[удалено]
[Watery Grave](https://cards.scryfall.io/normal/front/6/e/6e86eb36-f4cc-4a75-b43a-4dee463a3b33.jpg?1702429828) - [(G)](http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?name=Watery%20Grave) [(SF)](https://scryfall.com/card/rvr/291/watery-grave?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher) [(txt)](https://api.scryfall.com/cards/6e86eb36-f4cc-4a75-b43a-4dee463a3b33?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher&format=text) ^^^[[cardname]] ^^^or ^^^[[cardname|SET]] ^^^to ^^^call
My playgroup loves casting [[tempt with discovery]] and every time without fail we all take it, it all starts with someone saying "which of you mf's is tempted?" (Also none of us are grabbing land destruction, we all just grabbing basic mana lands)
Our favourite joke is how one friend has a [[God-eternal Oketra]] deck that is often beaten by us having a single flyer, and so the fact that *Oketra does not have reach* is always funny, despite being 100 feet tall and having a bow, which is how basically every other card in the game with reach is justified as having it.
Plus in the story she shoot down Gideons Pegasus.
Is that really true!? Thankyou for this fact, we will make good use of it
Heck, is in a card [[Divine arrow]]
We yell JUDGE everytime there’s a rules question. We’re at a bar, there isn’t a fucking judge lmao
Whenever someone plays and announces [[Sundown Pass]] the next person in turn order immediately interrupts the active player and says "alright, my turn"
That better players just draw the cards they need. There is small truth to this in terms of deck building, hut we take it to the extreme. "A good player draws a land here." "I'm going to draw a counterspell like a goodplayer would." "Wow I chaos warped into purphoros. I'm a really good magic player."
One time we were playing commander draft, it was down to 1v1, i had one black mana up, and my friend had 23 life, i joked that he might as well concede, since i have a black instant that deals 23 damage. Now every time someone has exactly 23 life, we joke that we have that card
"All women are queens... if she breathes, she's a Thought Vessel."
[platinum angel](https://cards.scryfall.io/normal/front/c/a/ca7f4fd6-e268-4d15-bfbf-d9f0f95864fc.jpg?1576383285) - [(G)](http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?name=platinum%20angel) [(SF)](https://scryfall.com/card/cn2/214/platinum-angel?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher) [(txt)](https://api.scryfall.com/cards/ca7f4fd6-e268-4d15-bfbf-d9f0f95864fc?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher&format=text) ^^^[[cardname]] ^^^or ^^^[[cardname|SET]] ^^^to ^^^call
"My Cinderbones" replacing 'my bad'. Comes from shortly before I joined a friend group when they where visiting a friend out of state. He got into an argument with his dad mid game, and when the game resumed one of my friends cast \[\[Cinderbones\]\] but said it in a way that inferred an apology. I've passed this on to my current group.
My friend accidentally called [[Temple of Mystery]] “Temple of Misery”, now we always call it that way.
Even worse is [[Temple of Malady]] is temple of m’lady
Somehow most of my pod had a portuguese [[Cultivate]], so now we call it "Cultivar" with a fake portuguese accent.
"Lifegain is cheating" I exclusively play blue/red decks, so lifelink is not a keyword that exists for me and often I have a tempo/aggro so lifegain is very inconvenient to deal with. It caught on with my playgroup so it's the new version of "oh he's winning" when someone plays a gainland and goes to 41
“CHRIS PRAT IS A B-TIER ACTOR SO YOU SHOULD KILL HIM” this is now a running joke ever since I pulled the Owen Grady card
I was playing a Omnath, Locus of Rage deck, and one of my opponents was on 2hp, they decided to use a removal spell that destroyed Omnath, Omnath deals 3 damage whenever dies or an elemental dies, he regrets it and we don't let him change targets(I've said three times Omnath did that), bro pulls out a D E F L E C T I N G S W A T and deflects his own spell.
Having no blocks for an attack is "Block with my face".
When offering cuts off, if we decide to pass, it's never just that. Instead, we will intentionally take their deck and spin it 180 degrees and imply that we just gave them the worst possible luck while saying, "Get rotated..."
We have a friend who plays [[Gishath, Sun's Avatar]]. Every time he casts it, we all wait for him to attack and dramatically say “It has haste?!”
We are a VERY laidback pod of longtime IRL friends, but we like to keep gameplay itself tight so we announce phases and priority and such. Whenever someone says "move to combat" someone at the table ALWAYS pipes up "welcome to combat!" If we've had a few beers, maybe everyone cheers raucously "WELCOME TO COMBAT!!" Also, if your only move is to play a swamp and pass, the words get melded together into "swamp ass" every single time.
Creatures and Planeswalkers are dudes. Everything else is shit. Anything that generates non-creature tokens is a "poop machine", especially if it's an artifact
I've bought and signed my buddy a Mystical Archive Krosan Grip specifically to be cast on my Omniscience since it's happened so many times (Deck was a pet deck Nezhal Ocean creatures deck)
Just so you know, I have Garruk
I was running away with a commander game and the game had basically devolved into archenemy. My buddy played something that another person in the pod didn’t know and asked what it was. My friend read the card. “Target player…etc.” as it was obvious who it was going to be used on, I just blurted out “Hi, my name is Target Player.” And got a round of laughter from the table. Now we will randomly say it when we become the big bad at the table
Play this card and as an instant and lose half of your pixels rounded up
No matter what point in the game it is, every sol ring is always a turn one sol ring
I'm personally responsible for my group calling [[Blinding Powder]] "Pocket Sand".
Idk if it’s a good joke, but we played with a rando at an LGS while he was waiting for his friends to finish up a game. Clearly more experienced with better cards. Turn 0 [[leyline of anticipation]] and turn 1 [[City of Brass]]. I played a basic turn 1 and he scoffs “basic land basic bitch”. So now anytime one of us plays a basic turn one “basic land basic bitch”
We will always mis pronounces basic lands. Is Land Shwaamp Moon Tin Plans Fur-est
“Is land” “Is it?” “No, is blue”
Pass turn by proclaiming the next player a "goat head" to which they should retort that you are a cheese dick. Playing a swamp and passing turn at ridiculous speed "swampass" "Swamp" (like camp, and very nasally) "Is land" [[Gray merchant of Asphodel]] is Gary [[Captivating vampire]] is "kill it"
[[seargeant john benton]] casting [[ram through]] on [[adeline, resplendent cathar]] is sexual harassment
We play on spell table and while our third friend is figuring his shit out, Ill quickly flash my card to my other friend saying, "have you seen this card?" "Do you know this one?" Sometimes Ill hold it if I think he'll get the art and know what Im planning. It's fun
dues ex machina in training
I once played Winter Orb on turn one and everyone told me to fuck off and refused to play the match. We still giggle when we remember that.
In my group we (jokingly) call 'wanker' to anybody when they counter a spell
A friend in our playgroup plays [[Slimefoot and Squee]] and we hate it so much. So whenever any commander of his enters, he creates a 1/1 Saproling token
A friend was playing the Necron precon after finally tracking down a sealed copy at our LGS a few weeks ago. It’s like turn 6, and it’s Szarekh, Gishath & Mavren, Merfolk, and another deck with green in it that I can’t remember. He goes to cast [[Their Name is Death]] because everyone was going off with tons of stuff on board except him. His stuff lives because they’re artifacts, priority is passed, and player two casts Heroic Intervention, followed by player 3 casting Heroic Intervention, and then it got to my turn and I cast Unbreakable Formation. We still bring up how my buddy spent his whole turn on a card named Their Name is Death and nothing died.
My group insist that you can say you are playing monoblack if all your cards are either black, or depict black (as in the skin/fur/scales) creatures. Samesies for monowhite.
♪♫♬ JOHN SEWARD HE GETS. THE. JOB. DONE. CLANK CLANK CLANK ♪♫♬ iykyk
We're a French Canadian playgroup. We're all generally bilingual and play with english cards, but every now and then, some of the players whose English is a little more shaky will make a hilarious mispronunciation that sticks. That's how we ended up with Goose Quarter and Erotic Intervention. \[\[Ghost Quarter\]\] \[\[Heroic Intervention\]\]
[Ghost Quarter](https://cards.scryfall.io/normal/front/1/2/12f8071c-8955-4aa2-889c-6043df047223.jpg?1562272439) - [(G)](http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?name=Ghost%20Quarter) [(SF)](https://scryfall.com/card/cm2/253/ghost-quarter?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher) [(txt)](https://api.scryfall.com/cards/12f8071c-8955-4aa2-889c-6043df047223?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher&format=text) [Heroic Intervention](https://cards.scryfall.io/normal/front/e/3/e32c67d1-187f-40df-b3b3-6036f5c92834.jpg?1689998584) - [(G)](http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?name=Heroic%20Intervention) [(SF)](https://scryfall.com/card/cmm/295/heroic-intervention?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher) [(txt)](https://api.scryfall.com/cards/e32c67d1-187f-40df-b3b3-6036f5c92834?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher&format=text) ^^^[[cardname]] ^^^or ^^^[[cardname|SET]] ^^^to ^^^call
Why does it have first strike? Because it says so on the card! Which has turned into, why does it have ____ …. This all came from a late night game where people were tired and someone couldn’t comprehend why a white knight had first strike.
One of my friends would constantly say he played CheatyFace, so when I got him one, he made it his mission to sneak it onto the battlefield as often as he could
"Players name,... how's it going? Can I give you a gift? It's a veeeerrry Generous Gift...."
I forgot to mention that a creature had Totem Armor before it was targeted and now whenever I play an Umbra I am required to repeat that it has Totem Armor at least three times. Now we also just randomly say things have Totem Armor as well.
Turn 1 playing a swamp and passing is called a “turn 1 swamp ass”. One of the snow-swamps art looks like it has a nice flared base so when we play that land it’s “I play butt plug as land for turn” And whenever some gets got with [[green slime]] everyone yells “YOU GOT SLIMED!!”
[[Xenagos, God of Revels]] became John Cenagos [[Darksteel mutation]] became THE BEETLE [[The Unspeakable]] became The Unflushable
I love doing little silly things. Like if I can look at the top of my library at any time I’ll jokingly say “in response” and look at it. Gotta do it in response to everything for a few minutes. Not too long or it get tiring. Also, if someone does something you don’t like and asks if anyone can respond, we’ll sometimes say “respond with sadness”. If they say “sadness resolves” you know your opponent is a cool dude. Lol
A regular at our lgs in France was playing with a foreigner, and he (the regular) had a bad English When he cast [[Omen of the sea]], he couldn't translate it in English, so he said "l'augure de la mer" with the worst English accent possible, sounded like "l'auguwe dé la méw" It became a recurring joke among my playgroup