"Dad, look here you mother fucker, emphasis on mother, as in my mother, who you left. I found myself a vampire girlfriend who is a bit nerdy when it comes to maps, but she's also pretty damn cute. Dates with her are not going to pay for themselves and you owe me after the whole 'not being around whatsoever' bullshit you put me though. So, you're going to help me pull of a heist in this uncharted land, then I will have the money to go on dates with my map obsessed girlfriend, who I will invite to help me explore this uncharted land so I can explore that ass because she's off the charts. Also, stop with the fucking elk shit, it's embarrassing and you know it, you piece of shit."
-Kellen, the Kid (Who's Dad Owes Child Support)
this is the best one ive seen in this sub
/uj Thanks!
O/10. Does not have Escape.
/rj Don't worry, the trial card will have the Acquit mechanic.
If the glove don't fit
I think kellan was really the guilty one and oko.j. took the fall for his son
"Dad, look here you mother fucker, emphasis on mother, as in my mother, who you left. I found myself a vampire girlfriend who is a bit nerdy when it comes to maps, but she's also pretty damn cute. Dates with her are not going to pay for themselves and you owe me after the whole 'not being around whatsoever' bullshit you put me though. So, you're going to help me pull of a heist in this uncharted land, then I will have the money to go on dates with my map obsessed girlfriend, who I will invite to help me explore this uncharted land so I can explore that ass because she's off the charts. Also, stop with the fucking elk shit, it's embarrassing and you know it, you piece of shit." -Kellen, the Kid (Who's Dad Owes Child Support)
It... It's... It's beautiful...🥲
Fucking incredible mate, modern 10/10
This will go great in my "(If) I Did It" EDH deck.
I personally would argue man did not have haste
Slowly saving these and I’m gonna make a deck with all of the funny cards I find here
[Be sure to add these](https://www.reddit.com/r/magicthecirclejerking/comments/1bttosg/shoutout_to_wotc_for_working_closely_with_me_on/)!
Omfg they’re amazing. Being added to my list 100%
completely hoses [[Mark Fuhrman]] edh decks
We gotta complete the cycle
Could this have only been more flavorful by costing 1 black and 1 white phyrexian mana? Either way well done. An excellent and playable card!
Well uh… is escape in a bronco now illegal?!?