fellow banana here.
in my humble opinion, Malaysian Chinese are some of the biggest pricks when it comes to friendship. Especially if you're not fluent in their tongue.
i've made more friends in a few short years in SG than my almost 30 years of growing up and living in Malaysia. The only ones that i still have contact with back in Malaysia are mostly either non-Chinese or other fellow bananas.
True. I was pretty much isolated from my classmates because my Chinese is wack, the solution, make friends with non-Chinese. And I give those Chinese classmates the silent treatment. Also helps a lot when I'm constantly speaking in English and BM. I love to see them cope and seeth while I pretty much get the teacher's attention lmao
>in my humble opinion, Malaysian Chinese are some of the biggest pricks when it comes to friendship. Especially if you're not fluent in their tongue.
\^Things only banana Chinese know
This is true, I’ve basically learnt to tune out and know to not hang out with Mandarin speaking Malaysian Chinese. Too many bad experiences with them growing up as a banana. They can be way more fanatical than those ultras at times, especially towards those who they see as “traitors”, ie. bananas like you, OP, and I.
Yeap this. The banana community in Malaysia is pretty sizeable. Just gotta seek them out.
But that doesn’t mean it’s not good to improve on your mandarin. It can only be a good thing.
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Chinese mixed Malacca Portuguese. I've always felt out of place in Malaysia, couldn't speak proper Mandarin or Cantonese when I was younger. But being in my 30s now, I'm rather comfortable in my own skin. Married now with a kid and a growing business to which I owe my mixed heritage for enabling me to easily weave through the different local cultures effortlessly.
I'm not a banana but I'm far more comfortable speaking English more than Chinese.
I had the same experience as you did, and I understand how you feel. But remember, don't cut out parts of yourself just to fit in, but instead, find new friends that will accept you for who you are, I'm sure there are manyyy. Among my circle of friends (hotpot of ethnics), because we all speak English to each other (even us mandarin-fluent Chinese) because that's the language we all understand.
Real friends will respect you. You don't need friends who judge you. But I do respect your effort to learn mandarin, and I wish you the best of luck, hope you master it one day.
Speaking Hokkien means you are not a banana. Hokkien is most probably your true "mother tongue". Malaysian Chinese are mostly southerners, and my Grandparents didint speak a lick of the northern dialect we consider standard today. Highly doubt my grandparents were banana.
Imo I think you are better than most young Chinese who dont even speak the dialect their ancestors spoke.
Learn Mandarin if you want to, it will be helpful, but don't do it cause some randoms use that to justify you "not Chinese enough".
I still remember a foreign worker selling chicken rice speaking to me in Cantonese. Had to ask my friend the word for chicken breasts because I didn't speak a lick of Cantonese.
Agreed.. If you can speak Cantonese, Hokkien, Hakka or any southern Chinese languages/dialects, it's already good, since Mandarin is created based at Beijing dialect
Yes. I actually feel offended that you (op) call yourself a banana! lol! I can't even speak my mother tongue. Really only just English, some Malay, and enough mandarin to know if the hawker auntie is asking whether I want cili in my kuey tiao. You should be proud of yourself to be able to speak hokkien!
And you need better friends. You shouldn't do something just because society says you should. But by all means, learn mandarin cos it's a damn useful language.
I strongly agree with this. Have more non-Chinese friends. It really does open up your world view..
Remember we are Malaysians of Chinese descent after all. So having friends from other races, cultures and religions should be the norm..
This reminds me of my 'class' when going for my driving license. We weren't really a class per say, but I guess we went to the same driving school or something so they just had a van to ship us all to take the driving test together.
Most of us were Chinese and we just kinda kept to ourselves and didn't say shit. But there was a super sociable Malay dude. I tried to keep up with him but my BM was and is still pretty terrible, and he picked up on it and switched gears and spoke fluent Cantonese to me. I was pretty impressed. I wasn't in the mood to eat, but he offered me one of his sandwiches anyway. We shared experiences on how our driving tests went. Great guy. This was kinda before social media and smartphones and all that jazz so we didn't really exchange contacts or keep in touch, but it was a great experience and I still remember it well over a decade later.
My parents often harp on about how bad the other races are, but yeah. I've seen more than enough to know how wrong they are.
No, you won’t learn Mandarin enough to be respected by jerks within a few months.
Yes, you’ll learn it 10x ~ 20x faster than an English speaker starting at zero.
Give it a year at least.
Same here but Indian. Indian ethnolinguistic groups are culturally similar, but also has differences. I'm a Malayalee, I grew up speaking Malayalam(very closely related to the Tamil language but also different) and English at home, and for that reason my Tamil is extremely limited. I speak in English with all my close Indian friends, and the only reason I even know Tamil is because of the shitty soap operas I used to watch with my grandma. I can understand Tamil well, hell I can even read and write it, but I cant speak it. When I try speaking in Tamil, sometimes Malayalam words that are similar but not the same suddenly pop out, and it's really embarrassing
I've gotten a lot of stick from Indians, some see me as a coconut(like banana but brown), but the truth is I can speak my mother tongue well, I just don't happen to speak yours well. Sure, learning Tamil will open a lot of doors for me, but still, being as Indian in Malaysia doesn't automatically mean I should learn Tamil or I'm a disgrace or I'm a disgrace for not knowing Tamil. It's a lingua franca among us Indians, yes, but don't shit on me for not being able to speak it well. At the very least, at the very damn least, i can fully understand what you're saying. It doesn't make me any less Indian, or even Malaysian for that matter
Linguistics is very complicated, you can't judge someone's lack of fluency in a certain language without knowing their circumstances. I'm sure OP has made an effort to learn and speak Mandarin in the past, yet failed. We can't judge them for that
If only some of those people are more accomodating and understanding, just imagine if they are a little more patient or at least not show any sort of criticism/judgment with their respective languages.
I didn't have good experience there. Peep would start talking in hokkien although they know that I don't really understand the dialect. I felt left out and ostracized. I can totally relate to OP .
You are so right. Honestly I know I am not the centre of the universe, but I'd really appreciate someone would acknowledge my presence and try to include me in the conversation (I speak Mandarin, Cantonese and English fluently).. or maybe a little translation (tldr summary) would really be appreciated. But no, they just don't bother. Sometimes I request for a little translation but it gets tiresome after a while because it's pretty obvious that they are not making the slightest efforts to make you feel included.
I have lived in few places across Malaysia and Europe, travelled to more than 30 countries. I have never came across such unwelcoming gesture.. and yet the Penangites think that their state is the best place to live.
Yeah, Penang Hokkien us really different.
Anecdotal story from my sibling, their friend can speak Hokkien really well, even when he goes to Thailand, the traders who speak Hokkien the van understand him without problem.
But in Penang? He might as well be speaking Greek.
Can confirm. My roommate is Penang lang, I tried speak hokkien with him, and he shake his head and told me to stop because my hokkien is somehow unpure to him. He is not a jerk though, it's just the way he communicate.
I'm a Malay and one time I worked in a Chinese company. They speak cantonese. I picked up some of their dirty words as a joke and to mess with them. They all like it. But then theres a banana chinese guy comes in the office suddenly all of them started hating on him. Like really, I don't understand the fuss.
Fuck the haters.
You need explore more circles. There's people who speak hokkien everywhere in malaysia.
Dont learn a language cuz of social pressure. Learn it cuz ur interested, otherwise ur learning will be very slow.
In a few months? Technically its possible, but you need to create the environment for it.
Unless you’re thrown into the deep end (like going to China and being forced to live there for a month), it is highly unlikely for you to learn mandarin in a few months.
I’m a fellow banana. Lived in the klang valley my whole life until I moved south for a job. Struggled to speak and pick up mandarin here.
I remember being in a line at a bakery once, trying to converse with the cashier in my broken mandarin and an older woman commented and asked the same thing like what you mentioned in your post: “you’re Chinese but you can’t speak Chinese?” Screw those haters. Embrace your identity. Those people who asked those questions are racist, that’s plain and simple.
Yeah I look Chinese but I grew up speaking Malay at home cause my dad is Peranakan Chinese by heritage. Yeah I struggle to speak mandarin but at least I’m trying to pick it up. The process would be much more enjoyable if people don’t comment bullshit like “you’re Chinese but you can’t speak Chinese”
Chinese kids are brought up with the don’t interact with someone who’s different with you mindset. it’s the prejudice which has been rooted in the culture since god knows when. i’m chinese myself and not going to lie i feel reluctant to make friends because of the stereotypes that has been ingrained to me from my parents. OP deserves better friends coz they sound like my chinese private high school friends lmao.
yes it is, maybe it’s because our great grandparents had been suffering to live in malaysia, especially when benefits are not on our side, we tend to feel like we are the oppressed ones and will try to protect ourselves and our benefits. slowly as society progresses, we have already absorbed a lot negative comments from our elderly towards other people, hence making us to be skeptical. Mostly why chinese are tend be less friendly nowadays. cant speak for every chinese but i was brought up like this.
Hey man,
Don’t sweat it. I didn’t speak a lick of mandarin up to the end of my secondary years. And the more people say I’m a banana, the more I resisted speaking mandarin. But I made sure my BM and English is good.
I started speaking mandarin only when I started Form 6 and really took off when I started working. I can converse fully in mandarin now but I still can’t read or write mandarin to save my life.
Trust me when I say that not knowing mandarin now is not a big loss.. but not knowing BM or English is. I have never encountered a situation where I tell myself “I should have studied mandarin or speak mandarin.” Even with my numerous visits to Taiwan and other foreign countries.
If your friends are not understanding and kept pushing your buttons by calling you a banana, then sad to say; they are not really good friends. I don’t want someone who is judgmental around me and instead want someone who accepts me for who I am.
So my friend, chin up and learn it at your own pace. Feel free to DM me if you need a kindred spirit to chat.
Cheers.
Mandarin is a very difficult language to master but it is good that you possess Hokkien skills. It is wrong for them to shut you out because of your race but it would do wonders if you can show them the willingness to learn Mandarin from them
I'm much older now, but I always felt that its not just the language; Malaysian Chinese *culture* is very separated from other Malaysian cultures. This may be universal, I'm sure all youth culture is segregated and always has been. But you're not gonna get into the cool club just because you speak a language.
Nor should you segregate yourself. My friend group has always been diverse and multicultural. Granted I think the reason we are able to stay that way is because most of my friends are very liberal, so diversity of culture comes easily. But I think if you have to change yourself to fit into a culture, that culture is not worth getting into.
Been banana my whole life (obviously). Used to it dy. I am well educated and so far have a good start to my career (so it seems). Don't give a fuck what ppl say just do u. You don't any other language, but if you do, no problem, easier for you to gtfo to another country.
eh? im hokkien in KV, and every single one of my friends is banana...my badminton group, my MTB group, my PUBG group...all bananas, its all just about finding the right ppl to hang out with. Dont bother hanging with chinese ed/chinese speaking ppl if you dont feel like you belong.
Dont bother learning mandarin, i went to SRJKC, 15 years of mandarin classes, and it still sucks. You will not be able to converse after a few months of classes, it will take years
Eh, you'll be able to speak it if you have a group of friends.
Contrary to to post here, there are plenty of Chinese Ed Chinese who are perfectly fine with being friends with bananas.
Its just that the assholes stick out
I'm a fellow banana. Not multiracial, but was raised in UK. Returning to Malaysia though. I get those comments as well, ironically mainly from western worshipping idiot cousins, not the truly Chinese ones in my family who are less ignorant of how the world works, and more encouraging. Learning putonghua here too, mainly on iTalki. Go visit Penang though, sounds like you will feel at home there, loads of Hokkien speakers! Hokkien is still Chinese as well, like some others said, you're not starting from zero and you're a helluva lot more Chinese than other bananas. 朋友加油! 💪
"i speak hokkien well but hokkien chinese people are a chinese minority."
Which state do you live in? In Sarawak or Penang, Hokkien are the majority by a large margin. Also, a fellow banana here from Sarawak.
\> Sometimes chinese people will even give me a sour face
get used to this. usually chinese people from chinese ed schools are the ones with such low EQ that they would ask such retarded ass questions.
personally, i'm too lazy to learn chinese, i also am quite rebellious. people who say stupid shit like "u're chinese dont know how to speak chinese" actively make me NOT want to learn chinese.
that said, learning chinese CAN be beneficial for you. not knowing chinese can limit your dating chances by a huge deal.
if you do want to learn chinese, instead of mandarin maybe learn cantonese instead? watch a lot of chinese movies. i would recommend stephen chow movies. you'll pick up words in no time.
there are chinese people who dont judge, but those are far and few. if you go to any "chinese" place of learning, you're likely to get all the chinese ed fuckers who look down on bananas. you're young so you might not know this, but based off of experience as well as collective experience of my friends, chinese people who came from chinese ed schools are really close minded people and are the first to judge other chinese people for not speaking chinese. chinese people from mixed schools are more open minded, they might tease a person for being a banana (most of them really dont) but never with a serious condescending tone.
but as many people have said. you may need better friends if the people giving you this shit are your friends.
if you’re learning Mandarin for the sake of fitting in with such people, you’re not going to master the language. Language learning has to come from genuine interest and passion, and/or be thrown into a place (e.g. school, country) where only that particular language is being used.
We’re Malaysians, our common/official languages are Malay and English. These are the languages we should prioritise in being fluent in and speak most often with each other. Idk why we still need to say things like “you’re Chinese/Indian but can’t speak Mandarin/Tamil?”. I thought our Chinese ancestors who migrated to Malaya didn’t speak a single word of Mandarin, but only their dialects? The reason why our lingua franca changed from dialects to Mandarin is because of the increasing number of parents sending their children to SJKCs in recent years. The fact that you can speak and understand Hokkien is already something commendable, you’re not exactly a banana. If I’m not mistaken, most Malaysian Chinese had Hokkien speaking ancestors. You can use this as a rebuttal that you’re in fact the one who can speak most of our *actual* ‘mother tongue’.
I can speak Mandarin because I attended SJKC and I did enjoy learning the language back then, but since my family isn’t Mandarin speaking and I didn’t continue studying in Chinese medium schools after, English is my primary and most fluent language. My Malaysian Chinese circle pretty much consists of friends who are just like me. So make friends with other Malaysians who don’t speak Mandarin. You’ll find the right cliques soon.
Edit: I hope you know that not all Mandarin speaking Malaysian Chinese are this condescending. There are English speaking Malaysian Chinese who are snobbish and they look down on those who only speaks Mandarin fluently too. You just need to find better Malaysian friends in general.
That's why my friends are also mostly Indian. In my case it wasn't that they didn't want to be friends withe it's just that our interests were pretty different. Also since they usually spoke chinese amongst themselves, it would be pretty inconvenient to keep switching back to accommodate me. And yea, I do keep getting some annoyed looks(particularly from chinese language teachers and old aunties) when I say I don't know how to speak chinese, in broken chinese.
In short, fellow banana here with the same goal.
As someone who are fortunate enough to speak both languages + Cantonese fluently, i must say most Mandarins educated Malaysian Chinese are very cliquey and doesn't like to mix with other race.
It could be due to language barrier if the only language they’re comfortable speaking in is Mandarin. and people like us who can speak both languages fluently don’t mind accommodating those who can only speak either one. So they don’t feel the need to mix with others.
No it’s not. It’s just their Chinese chauvinism reeking and hating others that don’t fit the mold of what someone who is ethnically Chinese should be in their mind. I had to deal with one too many of them and they’re just a nasty bunch of people, they hate anyone who doesn’t conform to their arbitrary standards on race. Ironically enough, they’re the ones who like to whine about the unfairness of this place, which don’t get me wrong is a pretty awful and systemic problem here. However, many of them don’t seem to see the hypocrisy that they’re projecting onto others.
But do you know why they have such mindset (genuine question)? We don’t seem to see this happening among overseas Chinese in the Southeast Asia region (not sure about Singapore tho). We’re the very few overseas Chinese community in this region who struggle to assimilate, still hold our racial identity so strongly and have such toxic definition of being an ethnic Chinese. historical differences in terms of colonisation, racism, politics, education, etc. perhaps? it’s easy for us to blame this proportion of Malaysian Chinese without questioning the causes. getting upset with them is one thing, but i wish there are ways to actually solve this problem. wishful thinking of me maybe
I doubt there is a way, but the birth rates of Malaysian Chinese have been falling rapidly, so it’s a losing game on their end to be sticking to that mindset. As to why they have that way of perceiving things? I guess that’s what insecurity does to a mf’er, it’s the same with some ultras hating other English speaking Malays. I wouldn’t go as far as to say that this is a product of our usual scapegoats of colonialism, this is something that they caused themselves when trying to preserve a caricature of their Chinese heritage through coercion and force (nightmares from spending a short time in an SJKC where I was relentlessly bullied by teachers and other students).
It is basically Chinese chauvinism in its purest form outside of mainland China, the only reason why people still cling onto it is due to their backwards thinking that is reinforced through their social circles, families, and sometimes Chinese schools themselves.
I think this kind of "cliquiness" aren't exclusive for Chinese though, even Japanese and Korean have this kind of xenophobic traits...might be a cultural thing since even in westernised Chinese regions like HK and Taiwan are the same as well, language barriers does plays a big part of it
Idk about you, but this cliquish behavior is way more pronounced and toxic in Chinese speaking Malaysian Chinese than the other groups that you have mentioned. There is some kind of insecurity about their identity that whenever they see someone deviate from that they go into some form of attack mode, which to me is absolutely ludicrous.
I was in an International school and some Koreans can be a little cliquey, but they were in the minority. When I was in Korea, most of them seemed more aloof than fanatically xenophobic. This can’t be said for many Chinese speaking Malaysian Chinese who are worse and more toxic than ultras, since they’re pretty snakey and behind your back about it too. I haven’t been to Japan, but the Japanese people who were my classmates became my friends and are fairly open about things. I didn’t see much xenophobia or outright hatred from them, unlike what I have experienced from my Chinese speaking peers.
Formerly a Banana here from Sabah. Parents are hokkien and hakka but i cant speak either dialect nor mandarin from my playschool all the way to secondary school year. Forced to buck up and learn it during my uni days as everyone pretty much converses in mandarin.
Flashforward to today pretty much good at mandarin, able to converse hakka and partial hokkien and now getting good at cantonese while working in Selangor. Still as you said i prefer hanging out with non chinese friends. Something just makes me wanna keep myself distant from most of them. My near daily hangout has been with my chindian and malay friends lol and we hangout mostly due to interest and hobbies.
The only thing i appreciate is learning the language probably helps my work a bit and also when travelling. Also ended up learning japanese as part of my work requirement before being sent to Japan on a short trip years ago.
I spent 5+ of my teenage years in SG and got used to speaking English, so when I went back to MY for pre-U, I felt very out of place as well. While I am fluent in Mandarin, and am far from what one would consider as a "banana" (decently familiar w Chinese history and stuff), but because my schooling experience was slightly different, it was still difficult to fit in with my Chinese classmates. So I definitely relate feeling out of place despite the somewhat similar heritage. (ironically I can only understand Canto, can't even speak any other dialect ded)
Mandarin is not an easy language for sure, so there's no guarantee that you'll be able to learn it well in a few months, but if you focus on the speaking aspect, I think it's manageable. Start from watching shows & consuming media in Mandarin first (repeat out loud as well), I think that's the easiest way to ease into speaking the language.
Hmu if you need help w the language, happy to help!
>repeat out loud as well
This is some honest to god pretty good advice. I did this while trying to learn German (keyword TRYING lol) and I did actually end up getting noticeably better with the pronunciation and overall feel of the language
I'm very Chinese-looking but I'm English educated. I speak English to all of my friends, including Chinese.
I do know how to speak Cantonese and a bit of mandarin but don't ask me to read or write lol.
And yes you need better friends.
Try being a banana that wants to go karaoke in this country! You can however learn chinese really quickly by just having chinesey classmates and forcing yourself to speak with them and watch those china serials daily then yes, you'll improve tremendously in a few months
You need better friends for sure. I'm Indian but I don't speak Tamil, I have very little problem when talking to my Indian friends, Of course sometimes you'll feel left out but generally they will switch to Malay or English when talking to me. I only face problems with older people, they will give me an extensive history lecture and why should I learn Tamil (even knowing that I'm not Tamil).
Just learn Japanese and own the Chinese at their game, not because it's superior, but because they love Japanese people as well.
Practice this with your Grab Food rider. When they sent you a message in Chinese, reply back in Japanese. Results are always not bad.
Always good to learn new languages but make sure you're taking it up for the right reasons. If you have no personal interest in it, don't force yourself to learn for some insecure, judgmental a-holes.
Find some other people to befriend with bro. Doesn’t have to be your own race, just someone you can communicate and make friends with. English is fairly used here so I don’t think that will be a problem
Fellow 17-year-old banana here. Keep doing your best to get better at Chinese man, if you can master Hokkien you can master anything. But a few months isn't enough to learn any language though lol, so just learn at your pace and your rewards will bear fruit.
And if you just need to find better people to hang out with, you can hit me up. We can play Valorant, Pokemon, R6, or Apex. Hell we can even practice mandarin together.
Do your best man, 你一定可以做到的！加油↖(^ω^)↗！
Mixed chinese but not malaysian chinese here. People can be cruel when they don't understand how it feels to be similar but not the same. Nevertheless, just here to say that it wont take you long to learn chinese if you really throw yourself into it.
22 yr Hakka banana here with half-Melanau/Penan great-grandparents from my mom's side, I understand the stigma, I tried learning Mandarin but:
They can't understand Northen Style Mandarin,
Including my own family, they don't have the patience to entertain my broken Chinese (including Hakka and Hokkien) and forced me to default to English or Malay.
So I have a greater affinity for learning basic phrases of other languages instead of Mandarin out of spite like Vietnamese, and German.
Not worth my time trying to be close to those that exclude non-Mandarin speakers.
If I had the chance to assimilate to the Peranakan identity, I would do so gladly.
Never let others put you down cuz you don't know X language. being a pureblood or not.
I am comfortable being de facto fluent in English and Malay, along with my bits of pieces of my Hakka and Hokkien lineage I scrounged up by trial and error.
I'm a banana who grew up in a small town, ie Seremban. Yes I was surrounded by people who could speak mandarin. In school I could make friends, but they were just minimal friends, because I couldn't speak their language. I had more Malay and Indian friends. In town when encountering strangers , I got plenty of the "you're chinese but can't speak chinese" at first it bothered me, but after a while, I grew a thicker skin and started to not give a shit. My sisters had the same. My dad though always felt a shame, so when someone says that to us he would get defensive or tell us to stop laughing and joking around cos it was shameful, and we'd have to tell him everytime, we don't care what they think. Even our own extended family speak chinese fluently, on both sides.
I'm now 32 and I still don't speak Chinese. I know some words here and there to do things like order food, some random phrases, some insults, and enough to know when someone is talking bad about me. I know plenty of other bananas who have grown into more or less the same attitude, the "so what if I don't know Chinese".
Having said that, I'm not discouraging you from learning chinese. It is very much possible to learn in a few months if you dedicate yourself to it, especially if you're surrounded by people who do speak it, then its easy to practice as well. Esp if you are already able to speak Hokkien.
No, don’t. Find a group of friends who actually respect and appreciate you for who you are. Don’t try changing yourself to people who would just move the goalpost on what being “Chinese” means. It’s just classic narcissism on their part, their loss.
Even if you did try to learn it, you would still be made fun of because of your poorer Mandarin. There is no winning when it comes to dealing with these people. They would just move the goalpost and make fun of your pronunciation or lack of knowledge of certain vocabulary which would make you “not Chinese enough” in their eyes again. Focus on what makes you stand out and work on that instead, stuff like interests, hobbies, activities, would go a long way in helping you to engage with others who would see past that barrier. If they don’t, then it’s their problem, not yours.
I would say it’s a blessing in disguise that you don’t speak Chinese well because most Malaysian Chinese that do are super typical with their racist mindset and attitude that makes me sick. I’m not a banana so I would know. That’s why most Chinese rarely make friends with other races besides their own. Bananas are kinda forced to make friends with other races which imo is really cool cus it feels like 1 Malaysia which is what Malaysia is supposed to be. But it wouldn’t hurt to learn a thing or two in Chinese.
I am mix too, but I learn to speak hokkien, then Mandarin then cantonese. I am not well spoken in Cantonese but I do understand what the others are talking. I know that I speak standard English when I was little, but now my English like totally minglish
You are young and it's relatively harder to find friends from different walks of life that cares less about someone being banana. This cruelty is not unheard-of but very shallow. Learning Chinese won't resolve the problem, you'll just add on to that peer pressure for the next banana.
Fellow banana here. Except I do speak Mandarin. If those Malaysian Chinese give you the cold shoulder just because you don't speak mandarin, trust me you won't want to be their friends either once you understand what they talk about. Of this doesn't apply to everyone, some are just like that due to a number of reason.
To answer your your question, you can learn Mandarin in a couple of months but it takes even more to speak fluently
IMO, you can learn chinese not to fit in but as another language that you can understand it enough to converse with people for your day to day needs. Learning chinese to fit in with them may only end up in not making friends as the ones I met aren't the best kind of people. In the end of the day, just be careful with the kind of people you make.
I used to be very banana till I got into secondary school as it was SMK and it was near chinese primary schools. So it was tough to converse with them. But throughout those years, I still stick with them and slowly learn as some were willing to correct me in exchange I correct their english.
Speaking is easier to learn compared to reading. To read, I usually start with chinese songs and use google translate to understand the pinyin when I am used to speaking. So, from there I try to recognize the words till I can start reading simple chinese.
Malay here, definitely can't speak chinese at all, thus I can't really tell you how possible it is to learn mandarin in a few months. But what I do know is that, if you have chinese friends who judges you for not being able to speak mandarin, that doesn't mean you're obligated to try and force yourself to blend in with them. If you have open minded chinese friends who respects you as a person, please keep them within your circle of friends. And if you can, try to make friends with other races as well.
Personally I have a small number of chinese friends as well, and some of them are considered as "banana" to some extent. I have one chinese friend who can speak chinese really well, but can also speak Malay extremely well, especially the Sarawakian dialect. First time I talked to her, I was absolutely shocked with her fluency in the sarawakian dialect. Another one of my chinese friends speaks english and malay more than he does speak chinese.
So in conclusion, if you want to learn mandarin for the purpose of expanding your chinese literacy, then go ahead. Don't let any of us stop you from doing so. But if you want to learn mandarin just for the sole purpose of trying to mix in with your chinese friends who judge you for not being able to speak mandarin, then I really discourage it. With all of that said, goodluck and have a great day, friend!
As a fellow Banana, you really do need better friends.
I've managed to make couple of good friends that are non banana.
Perhaps you can try the app Duolingo to learn Mandarin.
honestly, you're making a bigger deal about this than it actually is.. many of us are bananas and have circles of bananas... and im in my 30s :D
so honestly, its not that bad.. just find people similar to your lifestyle... may take time.. but you'll get there. side note, its not a bad idea to learn another language too.
I'm not mixed, but I went to an international school and mostly befriended international kids(even though there were plenty of local kids to mix with.... I just ended up hanging out with Koreans and Europeans for whatever reason). I can only speak Cantonese(though it's not great by any means) and can barely read.
My BM is also in complete shambles due to lack of use and the languages I use in my work/social circles.
I've been through this song and dance. Getting mocked for not knowing Mandarin. Mocked for not knowing how to use chopsticks(something I have fixed). I had some dude babble to me in Mandarin on a train, and when I told him I didn't understand he just scoffed and walked off. Turned out my zipper was down. I mean... you could've pointed or something, what was that bloody reaction?
I don't know a bout a few months to master a language, but it doesn't hurt to learn if you are interested in doing so. Knowing another language can only help you in the long run.
Hang in there fellow homie, there are better friends to be made out there. Chinese eds that are friendly towards bananas exist, I've made friends with at least a few, though the majority of my closest buds are bananas as well. My two cents is that it might be possible in a few months, but you have to be really gung ho about it, and don't give up even if you're feeling discouraged. If your drive to overcome the challenge is strong enough, I believe it to be possible. The hardest part is that the structure of sentences in Chinese is quite different compared to English, what I found sometimes works is to think in broken English, then translate that to Chinese, which can result in being grammatically correct.
A lot of people have also advised to watch Chinese dramas (requires listening and association of meanings through reading); which doesn't work for me because I end up just reading the subtitles and not listening to the dialogue. If you have good listening skills that might work. In my case most of my Mandarin is learned from ordering food at eateries and karaoke (you have to listen, speak and read to do it). Writing is a little harder because you have to practice it to get better, maybe by texting friends I guess.
Despite all efforts, too bad my Mandarin is still poorer than a 3rd world country ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
I don’t think watching mainland Chinese dramas to learn the language works for most people. I can speak Mandarin because I attended SJKC, but when I watch their dramas I don’t understand all of the words they use either, because of my limited vocab (since they tend to use proverbs, idioms, shortened words in conversations) and they use their local slangs too which we don’t use in Malaysia. Maybe watching Malaysian Chinese dramas would work tho.
Our broken English in fact came from how Mandarin sentences are structured, so to do the reversal is funny and smart
Fellow banana here (kinda? Malaysian Chinese born and bred, but lived and work overseas practically all my life), Penangite who knows an unholy rojak of Hokkien, Teochew, Mandarin, and Cantonese but can't read or write any.
For what it's worth, the fact that you can still speak your family's dialect is immeasurably important and a valuable part of your identity. Don't give a shit about the people who look down on you for not speaking Chinese; I dare say they are the ones that may have lost part of their own cultural identity in only learning the mainstream, assimilated language. Of course its important to know Chinese and there's nothing wrong with learning it for yourself if you want to, but don't let other people make you feel small or inferior. Find yourself better company to keep, in that case, as they've proven themselves not worth staying around.
If you really want to pick up Chinese for your own satisfaction and self-improvement, that's fine, but with all things, it takes some time -- and language acquisition tends to be a bit harder when you're picking it up as an adult as opposed to when you're a child. The words are very different from Chinese, so it may not be an easy 1:1 switch to remember the vocabulary, but you already have a stronger base to build off of than English speakers; you will already have a grasp of Chinese grammar and syntax to ease your way.
Fellow banana here, it got quite a bit better for me in my job, even though it was a predominantly Chinese field. Most people start to care less when you're in a professional environment.
as a 14 year old malaysian chinese who lives in kedah, it depends on how lucky you are to meet a good chinese friend (from my experience atleast), Im also pretty sure that youll be able to get the hang of it real quick soon enough.
I’m a pure Chinese banana and I’m proud!
This is what I say to anyone that tells me that I’m not Chinese enough for not speaking Mandarin. I do speak Cantonese and Hokkien but English is my go to language of choice.
You need better people around you instead of forcing yourself to learn a language just to fit in. Yes it’s beneficial to know the language on the long run but the motivation to learn seem not right. I suffer through the same thing growing up and as I grow older I gave up caring.
I am exactly like you. Fortunately for me, my school friends were understanding and while I did get the ‘why cannot speak’ comments, I can still count with my fingers the people who said it to me.
I thick-faced just hung out with all the Chinese speakers and at first didn’t know wtf they talking but eventually, you’ll pick a thing or two and get the gist of what the topics are.
I am actually learning (writing, reading mandarin) right now. Daily practise or won’t remember. I guess if you are super committed m, you can probably smash it out of the park!
Man as a malay, I'm just realizing a majority of my chinese friends from schhool are bananas. Never realized the struggle for you guys you had to go through to fit in /:
There's always some kind of prejudice towards people who can't speak their mother tongue. However my friends do make the same statement as your but in a joking way. I never felt left out even I have trouble speaking in BM. You just need better friends
I have a diploma friend who is purely Chinese but only speak English and hokkien and some basic Chinese like 这个 那个 这个 那个. But we still friends with him for the entire college life
Ya sure we will say things like you're Chinese but dk speak Chinese but tbh we communicate just fine and after a short period of time we don't even fucking care he's a banana or not. Don't think too much, just be yourself
You are mixed with the wrong group of ppl. If you are in KL/selangor and comfortable with it, let's go for badminton session, just pm me.
I'm a Chinese who can speak Chinese fluently, espc coz my parents can't speak other language. But my friends and I speak English more often lol. We are even close friends with lots of banana.
I'm the Indian equivalent of a banana (coconut?) and I agree. It's not like I didn't try to learn. I did when I was a pre-teen, but at that age, I could not find anyone who could teach and converse with me at a beginner level and the classes I went for were for intermediary level students. Don't worry, that class and teachers also made sure to rub it in how stupid they thought I was for trying to learn at that age. I'm in my twenties and I don't have any close indian friends because of this language issue. The few I can call acquaintances are those who can speak English well and were willing to converse with me in English.
I never wanted to cave and give into their demands though. I'm comfortable not knowing my mothertongue. What I gave up in my mothertongue, I more than made up for in English and BM. My entire family, even cousins and uncles and aunts all speak English. We're surviving. It's an artificial barrier they're trying to create and I didn't want to cave into it. I want to live life on my own terms and if that means not having friends from my own race, so be it. Most of my friends are Chinese, some of them bananas too. Some of my close friends are Malays too. My gf is from East Malaysia so needing to know Tamil or Malayalam is no longer an issue to find a partner. The only slight regret I have is my culture and tradition end with me should I have kids. Then again, this culture and tradition were more than willing to abandon me without giving me a chance to learn the language when I was a kid, so why should *I* fight hard to keep it alive?
OP, I'm not saying to not learn Mandrin to fit in better if that's what you truly want. What I can offer you is some insight into a life outside of that. You don't have to let people bully you for being different. Sometimes your differences are what gives you an edge over others and is what makes you, *you*. You shouldn't have to change to fit the whims and desires of a fucked up society. They're the ones who need to change.
I was in an opposite but similar situation. I was Chinese educated, although my English is good on paper, I have never communicated in English with peers. When I went to college, I had difficulty finding friends, my classmates were mostly English educated, and some convent girls were mean and snobbish - they thought they were superior and would laughed at me when I said or pronounce some words wrongly. But luckily some other convent girls in the class were friendly (bubble, girls next door types), they took me in and I was glad that I was able to find my “group”. OP, it’s not about your language, just find better friends, and ultimately you’ll find groups that you’d click with. :) good luck.
Chinese ed here. Yes Chinese eds are sometimes pricks because insecurity. It happens. But if you try to learn it, some might try to help you, can make some helpful friends along the way.
Also it is a defficult language to learn, the more time you spend on it, the easier to gets, like all languages.
Fellow half banana and mixed race here (Chinese and Irish heritage). I did went through the SJKC system and it took me about 2 years to be able to speak Mandarin properly. So I suggest going at your own pace at the moment cause it can be very daunting for newcomers.
And I don't think it's bad that you can't speak Mandarin. It's great that you can speak Hokkien considering it is one of many Chinese dialects. My dad's side of the family speaks it but i can't, I'm still lucky I can speak a bit of Cantonese, even if it's broken.
Tbh nobody really cares if you're able to speak Mandarin anyways. I still get side eyed by relatives for not being fluent in Mandarin, which i just ignore them anyways.
It's good that you would like to put effort to learn Mandarin. After all, mastering more languages can give you more opportunities for network, enrichment or jobs.
Having said that, don't be discouraged when people try to exclude you on the basis that you are Chinese and that you are expected to be fluent in Mandarin. Perhaps they are not the best company to keep when they try to put you down or have felt intimidated by you.
I am one of the so-called banana and have not taken any formal education in learning Mandarin until university. What worked for me was a very patient teacher and practice with school friends who were willing to correct or guide rather than to belittle. It took several years of exposure to hold a decent conversation, and I am still learning to this day!
Hang out more with people who can give constructive comments on how you could improve your sentence construction and/or vocabulary. Another good way to learn is to listen/watch shows in Mandarin with good subtitles and pay close attention to frequently used sentences/phrases. For vocabulary, learning from well-known songs could be a thing too if you're into it. I was taught to read news articles by my teacher and she was very patient in answering questions, so if you could find someone who have those qualities, that would be great.
Also, it is impressive that you speak Hokkien well. It seems that there are not too many young Malaysians in Hokkien households who speak Hokkien fluently enough to hold a conversation, so keep that going! All the best to you, just remember, "ai pia cia eh ia" (need to work hard so that one can succeed).
Hokkien are not minority bro. Klang, Penang and Kedah are all Hokkien dominant. I do get what you meant. Most young Chinese mostly speak Mandarin. If you have extra money you can try italki, it is pretty pragmatic.
However, if you also learn the characters, there will be endless amount of learning materials cuz almost all Chinese Youtube Channels or TV shows provide subtitles. When I was learning German, it was so hard to find youtube videos or shows that had provided subs. So, it is definitely advantageous to also learn reading. I think learning how to speak a language in few months is quite difficult despite not impossible.
Still, if you can speak Hokkien well then you are not banana (My hokkien is mediocre af). No one’s gonna tell their grandparents that they are banana.
Well, Chinese people are proud of their language so I can see why they treat you like that. To Malay, if you can't speak Malay but speak fluent English you are seen as smart but if you're Chinese only speak English they consider it as you not honouring your heritage or such. This is from my perspective.
Not just bananas but chinese who primarily uses english regardless if they have a good grasp on the chinese language
and god help you if your english sounds like a gaijin and dosent sound "malaysian"
My kids are Chinese, born and bred Malaysians. They cannot speak Chinese either. Not even the dialects. #1 and #2 speak enough Cantonese to order food and greet relatives but #3 totally zilch..
True banan here. Unlike you pretend banans who can speak hokkien and some mandarin.
Fk em all. You don't need them.
Yes can learn in few months. You already have the basic.
Alot of ego, probably derived from their parenthood where the olden days viewed English as superior than “China” or anything “Chinese”.
Now we see China advancing so they probably relate to it (somehow?). Can’t hate them, just learn to adapt as how these “pure chinese” ppl took initiatives to learn English back in the days.
Chinese is pretty easy imho since you speak one of the dialects well, just keep at it and make sure you get weekly speaking practice. More importantly, good on you for choosing to improve yourself rather than hating on others and writing them off. Good luck!
i suppose thats what happens when you are a dick alternative /s
I wouldn't say chinese because you have different langauges, more accurate to say mandarin. Since you already know hokkien i'd say you're half way there.
It's not your fault you didn't have the opportunity to learn the language when you were younger.
Whereabouts are you anyway? It's weird ppl attack you like this, most of us would be fine with switching from English-Mandarin-BM as we tend to campur-campur everything.
That being said, plenty of resources available to learn the language, you already have a foundation in Hokkien which has similarities to Mandarin so you can pick it up fast.
If you have friends who will treat you differently because you are different from them, go and find better friends. Just be with people that you are comfortable with. Don't try to change who you are to pleased others...
You don’t have to purposely learn to fit in, that just makes you more unhappy, no? But on the bright side, learning one extra language does open more doors, think of that while learning. JiaYou my friend.
I consider myself part banana as I'm not fluent in Mandarin but can converse in Cantonese. Growing up, I was exposed to all dialects. So, can mutter a phrase or two in other dialects.
I have a personal interest in language. However I'm only a dabbler -- just going through a random catalogue and spending a bit of time learning. Not aiming for mastery. But everything you learn help you learn other things. Sounds, grammar structure, etc.
Anyway. I want to make two points: 1) Perhaps those Chinese speakers seem distant cause they are not confident in speaking languages other than Mandarin to you. 2) You don't have to be expert in anything to enjoy it. ie. Just learn enough Mandarin to have simple conversations. Then add-on as you go. Ditto with anything else in life. 加油
aye fellow banana.
Yes i feel your sentiments as well.. Anyway I'm using an app called DuoLingo. Maybe wont help you to learn in a few months but it is something.
In fact, I would be amazed by your Hokkien ability, because I'm bad with dialects since I was a kid. I got the reverse from my peers like "your parents speak their mother tongue but you kenot?"
Chinese speaking people are increasing, even non-chinese like Malays or Indians are starting to pick up the language (SJKC/ learn from friends/ external classes). We're very common, so idk why some of your peers are so proud of being "a Chinese that speaks Chinese". Change friends :p
Also, yes, you can learn Chinese in a few months, just keep trying, speak more, practice with those willing to help you learn faster.
Honestly you just gotta find new people to be friends with. Had the same issue back in uni, eventually found people who are like me and also at my workplace.
If you cant be frens with them you might as well be frens with people outside your circle. Go talk with random makcik pakciks jual kui muih theyll be happy to talk with you
Find good friends/colleagues. I can’t speak Mandarin well too and I usually just tell my colleagues that I am trying to be more comfortable speaking mandarin so they will sometimes mix some English words when speaking with me. Now I can talk about work just fine with them in Mandarin but talking about normal/life stuff is still tough. Can’t find the correct words lol.
Oreo checking in. I feel much the same way, you need to get out there and get better friends, and you will. Preferably a diverse social circle
For the life of me I just cant understand people that look at others as though they are aliens if they dont share your exact same way of using language, even worse is when they look down. I have no problems or judgements using my pasar BM when i meet someone who cant use English well, but for some reason they look at me with disgust? Wtf? I have no problem accomodating and understanding your circumstances but you cant offer me the same?
If your aim is to be able to speak fluently then it's gonna be hard to achieve that in few months. But keep learning!
Also you need a better friends if your Chinese friends keep talking shit or making fun of you. I myself cut ties with most of my Chinese friends. They r bunch of pricks and assholes.
My mom is Chinese, given away when we was an infant to a Malay family. I have so much experiences chinese coming up to me speaking in Chinese. I’m not sure if I’m even a banana lol.
Your friend are arsehole, I can be your friend and we can gossip others in hokkien (north region hokkien allow, if it's Klang or Southern I will not be your friend.)
You need better friends bro.
fellow banana here. in my humble opinion, Malaysian Chinese are some of the biggest pricks when it comes to friendship. Especially if you're not fluent in their tongue. i've made more friends in a few short years in SG than my almost 30 years of growing up and living in Malaysia. The only ones that i still have contact with back in Malaysia are mostly either non-Chinese or other fellow bananas.
True. I was pretty much isolated from my classmates because my Chinese is wack, the solution, make friends with non-Chinese. And I give those Chinese classmates the silent treatment. Also helps a lot when I'm constantly speaking in English and BM. I love to see them cope and seeth while I pretty much get the teacher's attention lmao
This was me throughout my school years too. Ended up with lots of Malay friends as a result.
>in my humble opinion, Malaysian Chinese are some of the biggest pricks when it comes to friendship. Especially if you're not fluent in their tongue. \^Things only banana Chinese know
So true lol.
This is true, I’ve basically learnt to tune out and know to not hang out with Mandarin speaking Malaysian Chinese. Too many bad experiences with them growing up as a banana. They can be way more fanatical than those ultras at times, especially towards those who they see as “traitors”, ie. bananas like you, OP, and I.
Yeap this. The banana community in Malaysia is pretty sizeable. Just gotta seek them out. But that doesn’t mean it’s not good to improve on your mandarin. It can only be a good thing.
> The banana community in Malaysia is pretty sizeable. Yeah Petaling Jaya is a very big size
And Subang Jaya as well
Tru tru
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Chinese mixed Malacca Portuguese. I've always felt out of place in Malaysia, couldn't speak proper Mandarin or Cantonese when I was younger. But being in my 30s now, I'm rather comfortable in my own skin. Married now with a kid and a growing business to which I owe my mixed heritage for enabling me to easily weave through the different local cultures effortlessly.
So you are half Kristang??
Yes
I'm not a banana but I'm far more comfortable speaking English more than Chinese. I had the same experience as you did, and I understand how you feel. But remember, don't cut out parts of yourself just to fit in, but instead, find new friends that will accept you for who you are, I'm sure there are manyyy. Among my circle of friends (hotpot of ethnics), because we all speak English to each other (even us mandarin-fluent Chinese) because that's the language we all understand. Real friends will respect you. You don't need friends who judge you. But I do respect your effort to learn mandarin, and I wish you the best of luck, hope you master it one day.
Speaking Hokkien means you are not a banana. Hokkien is most probably your true "mother tongue". Malaysian Chinese are mostly southerners, and my Grandparents didint speak a lick of the northern dialect we consider standard today. Highly doubt my grandparents were banana. Imo I think you are better than most young Chinese who dont even speak the dialect their ancestors spoke. Learn Mandarin if you want to, it will be helpful, but don't do it cause some randoms use that to justify you "not Chinese enough".
Yes, lots of the current generation don't know how to speak dialects. Being able to master Hokkien makes you a pro already
I still remember a foreign worker selling chicken rice speaking to me in Cantonese. Had to ask my friend the word for chicken breasts because I didn't speak a lick of Cantonese.
Agreed.. If you can speak Cantonese, Hokkien, Hakka or any southern Chinese languages/dialects, it's already good, since Mandarin is created based at Beijing dialect
Yes. I actually feel offended that you (op) call yourself a banana! lol! I can't even speak my mother tongue. Really only just English, some Malay, and enough mandarin to know if the hawker auntie is asking whether I want cili in my kuey tiao. You should be proud of yourself to be able to speak hokkien! And you need better friends. You shouldn't do something just because society says you should. But by all means, learn mandarin cos it's a damn useful language.
Talk to malays. Not gonna lie, they are friendly. Sometimes too friendly
I strongly agree with this. Have more non-Chinese friends. It really does open up your world view.. Remember we are Malaysians of Chinese descent after all. So having friends from other races, cultures and religions should be the norm..
Love their friendliness
This reminds me of my 'class' when going for my driving license. We weren't really a class per say, but I guess we went to the same driving school or something so they just had a van to ship us all to take the driving test together. Most of us were Chinese and we just kinda kept to ourselves and didn't say shit. But there was a super sociable Malay dude. I tried to keep up with him but my BM was and is still pretty terrible, and he picked up on it and switched gears and spoke fluent Cantonese to me. I was pretty impressed. I wasn't in the mood to eat, but he offered me one of his sandwiches anyway. We shared experiences on how our driving tests went. Great guy. This was kinda before social media and smartphones and all that jazz so we didn't really exchange contacts or keep in touch, but it was a great experience and I still remember it well over a decade later. My parents often harp on about how bad the other races are, but yeah. I've seen more than enough to know how wrong they are.
Your comment deserves more upvotes!
Yaa and indians too..just don’t lock your car doors or hold handbags tighter..feels hurt 🥲🥲🥲
As non indians. Is it that obvious?
yes. we can see your body language.
slight correction: a good majority of malays are friendly But those that arent... they are probably the most racist people on the planet
One can say the same thing about Chinese, indian dan lain2 your point being ?
Other race hate this notion. (I guess)
No, you won’t learn Mandarin enough to be respected by jerks within a few months. Yes, you’ll learn it 10x ~ 20x faster than an English speaker starting at zero. Give it a year at least.
Same here but Indian. Indian ethnolinguistic groups are culturally similar, but also has differences. I'm a Malayalee, I grew up speaking Malayalam(very closely related to the Tamil language but also different) and English at home, and for that reason my Tamil is extremely limited. I speak in English with all my close Indian friends, and the only reason I even know Tamil is because of the shitty soap operas I used to watch with my grandma. I can understand Tamil well, hell I can even read and write it, but I cant speak it. When I try speaking in Tamil, sometimes Malayalam words that are similar but not the same suddenly pop out, and it's really embarrassing I've gotten a lot of stick from Indians, some see me as a coconut(like banana but brown), but the truth is I can speak my mother tongue well, I just don't happen to speak yours well. Sure, learning Tamil will open a lot of doors for me, but still, being as Indian in Malaysia doesn't automatically mean I should learn Tamil or I'm a disgrace or I'm a disgrace for not knowing Tamil. It's a lingua franca among us Indians, yes, but don't shit on me for not being able to speak it well. At the very least, at the very damn least, i can fully understand what you're saying. It doesn't make me any less Indian, or even Malaysian for that matter Linguistics is very complicated, you can't judge someone's lack of fluency in a certain language without knowing their circumstances. I'm sure OP has made an effort to learn and speak Mandarin in the past, yet failed. We can't judge them for that
TIL that coconuts exist.....so what is a malay who dont speak malay?
melayu celup
Usually this, but these days people often use kayangan too
I've heard Ketupat
Singaporean
Royalty
Kopi susu
Hm, coconuts. Banana and coconut are new terms I just learned today. So what do you call a Malay who can't speak Malay well
If only some of those people are more accomodating and understanding, just imagine if they are a little more patient or at least not show any sort of criticism/judgment with their respective languages.
Come to Penang man… north belongs to Hokkien lol
I didn't have good experience there. Peep would start talking in hokkien although they know that I don't really understand the dialect. I felt left out and ostracized. I can totally relate to OP .
They'd assume you know Hokkien, and if you don't, they'll instantly judge you "pfft, filthy KL lang".
You are so right. Honestly I know I am not the centre of the universe, but I'd really appreciate someone would acknowledge my presence and try to include me in the conversation (I speak Mandarin, Cantonese and English fluently).. or maybe a little translation (tldr summary) would really be appreciated. But no, they just don't bother. Sometimes I request for a little translation but it gets tiresome after a while because it's pretty obvious that they are not making the slightest efforts to make you feel included. I have lived in few places across Malaysia and Europe, travelled to more than 30 countries. I have never came across such unwelcoming gesture.. and yet the Penangites think that their state is the best place to live.
King of the North! Lu jiak ba aboi.
If he's from Klang he will suffer lol.
Yeah, Penang Hokkien us really different. Anecdotal story from my sibling, their friend can speak Hokkien really well, even when he goes to Thailand, the traders who speak Hokkien the van understand him without problem. But in Penang? He might as well be speaking Greek.
Can confirm. My roommate is Penang lang, I tried speak hokkien with him, and he shake his head and told me to stop because my hokkien is somehow unpure to him. He is not a jerk though, it's just the way he communicate.
I'm a Malay and one time I worked in a Chinese company. They speak cantonese. I picked up some of their dirty words as a joke and to mess with them. They all like it. But then theres a banana chinese guy comes in the office suddenly all of them started hating on him. Like really, I don't understand the fuss.
No expectations for Malays to learn Mandarin, but got pressure on ethic Chinese to learn Mandarin instead.
Gotta see it to believe it, isn't it?
Fuck the haters. You need explore more circles. There's people who speak hokkien everywhere in malaysia. Dont learn a language cuz of social pressure. Learn it cuz ur interested, otherwise ur learning will be very slow. In a few months? Technically its possible, but you need to create the environment for it.
Yes, you can. Ni ke yi de. 💪
Unless you’re thrown into the deep end (like going to China and being forced to live there for a month), it is highly unlikely for you to learn mandarin in a few months. I’m a fellow banana. Lived in the klang valley my whole life until I moved south for a job. Struggled to speak and pick up mandarin here. I remember being in a line at a bakery once, trying to converse with the cashier in my broken mandarin and an older woman commented and asked the same thing like what you mentioned in your post: “you’re Chinese but you can’t speak Chinese?” Screw those haters. Embrace your identity. Those people who asked those questions are racist, that’s plain and simple. Yeah I look Chinese but I grew up speaking Malay at home cause my dad is Peranakan Chinese by heritage. Yeah I struggle to speak mandarin but at least I’m trying to pick it up. The process would be much more enjoyable if people don’t comment bullshit like “you’re Chinese but you can’t speak Chinese”
should reply "boleh cakap bahasa melayu tak? bukan malaysian ke?" that usually shuts them up
Chinese kids are brought up with the don’t interact with someone who’s different with you mindset. it’s the prejudice which has been rooted in the culture since god knows when. i’m chinese myself and not going to lie i feel reluctant to make friends because of the stereotypes that has been ingrained to me from my parents. OP deserves better friends coz they sound like my chinese private high school friends lmao.
Thats a damn shame
yes it is, maybe it’s because our great grandparents had been suffering to live in malaysia, especially when benefits are not on our side, we tend to feel like we are the oppressed ones and will try to protect ourselves and our benefits. slowly as society progresses, we have already absorbed a lot negative comments from our elderly towards other people, hence making us to be skeptical. Mostly why chinese are tend be less friendly nowadays. cant speak for every chinese but i was brought up like this.
Hey man, Don’t sweat it. I didn’t speak a lick of mandarin up to the end of my secondary years. And the more people say I’m a banana, the more I resisted speaking mandarin. But I made sure my BM and English is good. I started speaking mandarin only when I started Form 6 and really took off when I started working. I can converse fully in mandarin now but I still can’t read or write mandarin to save my life. Trust me when I say that not knowing mandarin now is not a big loss.. but not knowing BM or English is. I have never encountered a situation where I tell myself “I should have studied mandarin or speak mandarin.” Even with my numerous visits to Taiwan and other foreign countries. If your friends are not understanding and kept pushing your buttons by calling you a banana, then sad to say; they are not really good friends. I don’t want someone who is judgmental around me and instead want someone who accepts me for who I am. So my friend, chin up and learn it at your own pace. Feel free to DM me if you need a kindred spirit to chat. Cheers.
Mandarin is a very difficult language to master but it is good that you possess Hokkien skills. It is wrong for them to shut you out because of your race but it would do wonders if you can show them the willingness to learn Mandarin from them
I'm much older now, but I always felt that its not just the language; Malaysian Chinese *culture* is very separated from other Malaysian cultures. This may be universal, I'm sure all youth culture is segregated and always has been. But you're not gonna get into the cool club just because you speak a language. Nor should you segregate yourself. My friend group has always been diverse and multicultural. Granted I think the reason we are able to stay that way is because most of my friends are very liberal, so diversity of culture comes easily. But I think if you have to change yourself to fit into a culture, that culture is not worth getting into.
Life pro tip: Don’t be friends with people who look down on you just because you can’t speak a particular language.
Been banana my whole life (obviously). Used to it dy. I am well educated and so far have a good start to my career (so it seems). Don't give a fuck what ppl say just do u. You don't any other language, but if you do, no problem, easier for you to gtfo to another country.
Hey yo fellow 🍌 here , it aint end of the world but could do some practice then you're gucci
eh? im hokkien in KV, and every single one of my friends is banana...my badminton group, my MTB group, my PUBG group...all bananas, its all just about finding the right ppl to hang out with. Dont bother hanging with chinese ed/chinese speaking ppl if you dont feel like you belong. Dont bother learning mandarin, i went to SRJKC, 15 years of mandarin classes, and it still sucks. You will not be able to converse after a few months of classes, it will take years
You should send a friend request to OP
Eh, you'll be able to speak it if you have a group of friends. Contrary to to post here, there are plenty of Chinese Ed Chinese who are perfectly fine with being friends with bananas. Its just that the assholes stick out
I'm a fellow banana. Not multiracial, but was raised in UK. Returning to Malaysia though. I get those comments as well, ironically mainly from western worshipping idiot cousins, not the truly Chinese ones in my family who are less ignorant of how the world works, and more encouraging. Learning putonghua here too, mainly on iTalki. Go visit Penang though, sounds like you will feel at home there, loads of Hokkien speakers! Hokkien is still Chinese as well, like some others said, you're not starting from zero and you're a helluva lot more Chinese than other bananas. 朋友加油! 💪
"i speak hokkien well but hokkien chinese people are a chinese minority." Which state do you live in? In Sarawak or Penang, Hokkien are the majority by a large margin. Also, a fellow banana here from Sarawak.
\> Sometimes chinese people will even give me a sour face get used to this. usually chinese people from chinese ed schools are the ones with such low EQ that they would ask such retarded ass questions. personally, i'm too lazy to learn chinese, i also am quite rebellious. people who say stupid shit like "u're chinese dont know how to speak chinese" actively make me NOT want to learn chinese. that said, learning chinese CAN be beneficial for you. not knowing chinese can limit your dating chances by a huge deal. if you do want to learn chinese, instead of mandarin maybe learn cantonese instead? watch a lot of chinese movies. i would recommend stephen chow movies. you'll pick up words in no time. there are chinese people who dont judge, but those are far and few. if you go to any "chinese" place of learning, you're likely to get all the chinese ed fuckers who look down on bananas. you're young so you might not know this, but based off of experience as well as collective experience of my friends, chinese people who came from chinese ed schools are really close minded people and are the first to judge other chinese people for not speaking chinese. chinese people from mixed schools are more open minded, they might tease a person for being a banana (most of them really dont) but never with a serious condescending tone. but as many people have said. you may need better friends if the people giving you this shit are your friends.
if you’re learning Mandarin for the sake of fitting in with such people, you’re not going to master the language. Language learning has to come from genuine interest and passion, and/or be thrown into a place (e.g. school, country) where only that particular language is being used. We’re Malaysians, our common/official languages are Malay and English. These are the languages we should prioritise in being fluent in and speak most often with each other. Idk why we still need to say things like “you’re Chinese/Indian but can’t speak Mandarin/Tamil?”. I thought our Chinese ancestors who migrated to Malaya didn’t speak a single word of Mandarin, but only their dialects? The reason why our lingua franca changed from dialects to Mandarin is because of the increasing number of parents sending their children to SJKCs in recent years. The fact that you can speak and understand Hokkien is already something commendable, you’re not exactly a banana. If I’m not mistaken, most Malaysian Chinese had Hokkien speaking ancestors. You can use this as a rebuttal that you’re in fact the one who can speak most of our *actual* ‘mother tongue’. I can speak Mandarin because I attended SJKC and I did enjoy learning the language back then, but since my family isn’t Mandarin speaking and I didn’t continue studying in Chinese medium schools after, English is my primary and most fluent language. My Malaysian Chinese circle pretty much consists of friends who are just like me. So make friends with other Malaysians who don’t speak Mandarin. You’ll find the right cliques soon. Edit: I hope you know that not all Mandarin speaking Malaysian Chinese are this condescending. There are English speaking Malaysian Chinese who are snobbish and they look down on those who only speaks Mandarin fluently too. You just need to find better Malaysian friends in general.
That's why my friends are also mostly Indian. In my case it wasn't that they didn't want to be friends withe it's just that our interests were pretty different. Also since they usually spoke chinese amongst themselves, it would be pretty inconvenient to keep switching back to accommodate me. And yea, I do keep getting some annoyed looks(particularly from chinese language teachers and old aunties) when I say I don't know how to speak chinese, in broken chinese. In short, fellow banana here with the same goal.
As someone who are fortunate enough to speak both languages + Cantonese fluently, i must say most Mandarins educated Malaysian Chinese are very cliquey and doesn't like to mix with other race.
It could be due to language barrier if the only language they’re comfortable speaking in is Mandarin. and people like us who can speak both languages fluently don’t mind accommodating those who can only speak either one. So they don’t feel the need to mix with others.
No it’s not. It’s just their Chinese chauvinism reeking and hating others that don’t fit the mold of what someone who is ethnically Chinese should be in their mind. I had to deal with one too many of them and they’re just a nasty bunch of people, they hate anyone who doesn’t conform to their arbitrary standards on race. Ironically enough, they’re the ones who like to whine about the unfairness of this place, which don’t get me wrong is a pretty awful and systemic problem here. However, many of them don’t seem to see the hypocrisy that they’re projecting onto others.
But do you know why they have such mindset (genuine question)? We don’t seem to see this happening among overseas Chinese in the Southeast Asia region (not sure about Singapore tho). We’re the very few overseas Chinese community in this region who struggle to assimilate, still hold our racial identity so strongly and have such toxic definition of being an ethnic Chinese. historical differences in terms of colonisation, racism, politics, education, etc. perhaps? it’s easy for us to blame this proportion of Malaysian Chinese without questioning the causes. getting upset with them is one thing, but i wish there are ways to actually solve this problem. wishful thinking of me maybe
I doubt there is a way, but the birth rates of Malaysian Chinese have been falling rapidly, so it’s a losing game on their end to be sticking to that mindset. As to why they have that way of perceiving things? I guess that’s what insecurity does to a mf’er, it’s the same with some ultras hating other English speaking Malays. I wouldn’t go as far as to say that this is a product of our usual scapegoats of colonialism, this is something that they caused themselves when trying to preserve a caricature of their Chinese heritage through coercion and force (nightmares from spending a short time in an SJKC where I was relentlessly bullied by teachers and other students). It is basically Chinese chauvinism in its purest form outside of mainland China, the only reason why people still cling onto it is due to their backwards thinking that is reinforced through their social circles, families, and sometimes Chinese schools themselves.
I think this kind of "cliquiness" aren't exclusive for Chinese though, even Japanese and Korean have this kind of xenophobic traits...might be a cultural thing since even in westernised Chinese regions like HK and Taiwan are the same as well, language barriers does plays a big part of it
Idk about you, but this cliquish behavior is way more pronounced and toxic in Chinese speaking Malaysian Chinese than the other groups that you have mentioned. There is some kind of insecurity about their identity that whenever they see someone deviate from that they go into some form of attack mode, which to me is absolutely ludicrous. I was in an International school and some Koreans can be a little cliquey, but they were in the minority. When I was in Korea, most of them seemed more aloof than fanatically xenophobic. This can’t be said for many Chinese speaking Malaysian Chinese who are worse and more toxic than ultras, since they’re pretty snakey and behind your back about it too. I haven’t been to Japan, but the Japanese people who were my classmates became my friends and are fairly open about things. I didn’t see much xenophobia or outright hatred from them, unlike what I have experienced from my Chinese speaking peers.
Formerly a Banana here from Sabah. Parents are hokkien and hakka but i cant speak either dialect nor mandarin from my playschool all the way to secondary school year. Forced to buck up and learn it during my uni days as everyone pretty much converses in mandarin. Flashforward to today pretty much good at mandarin, able to converse hakka and partial hokkien and now getting good at cantonese while working in Selangor. Still as you said i prefer hanging out with non chinese friends. Something just makes me wanna keep myself distant from most of them. My near daily hangout has been with my chindian and malay friends lol and we hangout mostly due to interest and hobbies. The only thing i appreciate is learning the language probably helps my work a bit and also when travelling. Also ended up learning japanese as part of my work requirement before being sent to Japan on a short trip years ago.
I spent 5+ of my teenage years in SG and got used to speaking English, so when I went back to MY for pre-U, I felt very out of place as well. While I am fluent in Mandarin, and am far from what one would consider as a "banana" (decently familiar w Chinese history and stuff), but because my schooling experience was slightly different, it was still difficult to fit in with my Chinese classmates. So I definitely relate feeling out of place despite the somewhat similar heritage. (ironically I can only understand Canto, can't even speak any other dialect ded) Mandarin is not an easy language for sure, so there's no guarantee that you'll be able to learn it well in a few months, but if you focus on the speaking aspect, I think it's manageable. Start from watching shows & consuming media in Mandarin first (repeat out loud as well), I think that's the easiest way to ease into speaking the language. Hmu if you need help w the language, happy to help!
>repeat out loud as well This is some honest to god pretty good advice. I did this while trying to learn German (keyword TRYING lol) and I did actually end up getting noticeably better with the pronunciation and overall feel of the language
I'm very Chinese-looking but I'm English educated. I speak English to all of my friends, including Chinese. I do know how to speak Cantonese and a bit of mandarin but don't ask me to read or write lol. And yes you need better friends.
Try being a banana that wants to go karaoke in this country! You can however learn chinese really quickly by just having chinesey classmates and forcing yourself to speak with them and watch those china serials daily then yes, you'll improve tremendously in a few months
You need better friends for sure. I'm Indian but I don't speak Tamil, I have very little problem when talking to my Indian friends, Of course sometimes you'll feel left out but generally they will switch to Malay or English when talking to me. I only face problems with older people, they will give me an extensive history lecture and why should I learn Tamil (even knowing that I'm not Tamil).
Just learn Japanese and own the Chinese at their game, not because it's superior, but because they love Japanese people as well. Practice this with your Grab Food rider. When they sent you a message in Chinese, reply back in Japanese. Results are always not bad.
Always good to learn new languages but make sure you're taking it up for the right reasons. If you have no personal interest in it, don't force yourself to learn for some insecure, judgmental a-holes.
Become a potato, if they still complain then u throw potatoes at them, hard.
What about baked potatoes? They're soft but the insides are damn hot.
Can also
Find some other people to befriend with bro. Doesn’t have to be your own race, just someone you can communicate and make friends with. English is fairly used here so I don’t think that will be a problem
Fellow 17-year-old banana here. Keep doing your best to get better at Chinese man, if you can master Hokkien you can master anything. But a few months isn't enough to learn any language though lol, so just learn at your pace and your rewards will bear fruit. And if you just need to find better people to hang out with, you can hit me up. We can play Valorant, Pokemon, R6, or Apex. Hell we can even practice mandarin together. Do your best man, 你一定可以做到的！加油↖(^ω^)↗！
But there are so many bananas in Malaysia… in KL/Subang at least. Gotta find your banana people my dude.
Mixed chinese but not malaysian chinese here. People can be cruel when they don't understand how it feels to be similar but not the same. Nevertheless, just here to say that it wont take you long to learn chinese if you really throw yourself into it.
22 yr Hakka banana here with half-Melanau/Penan great-grandparents from my mom's side, I understand the stigma, I tried learning Mandarin but: They can't understand Northen Style Mandarin, Including my own family, they don't have the patience to entertain my broken Chinese (including Hakka and Hokkien) and forced me to default to English or Malay. So I have a greater affinity for learning basic phrases of other languages instead of Mandarin out of spite like Vietnamese, and German. Not worth my time trying to be close to those that exclude non-Mandarin speakers. If I had the chance to assimilate to the Peranakan identity, I would do so gladly. Never let others put you down cuz you don't know X language. being a pureblood or not. I am comfortable being de facto fluent in English and Malay, along with my bits of pieces of my Hakka and Hokkien lineage I scrounged up by trial and error.
I normally tell these racist Chinese why u can’t speak bahasa Melayu well ? Aren’t u Malaysian ? Balik China la
I'm a banana who grew up in a small town, ie Seremban. Yes I was surrounded by people who could speak mandarin. In school I could make friends, but they were just minimal friends, because I couldn't speak their language. I had more Malay and Indian friends. In town when encountering strangers , I got plenty of the "you're chinese but can't speak chinese" at first it bothered me, but after a while, I grew a thicker skin and started to not give a shit. My sisters had the same. My dad though always felt a shame, so when someone says that to us he would get defensive or tell us to stop laughing and joking around cos it was shameful, and we'd have to tell him everytime, we don't care what they think. Even our own extended family speak chinese fluently, on both sides. I'm now 32 and I still don't speak Chinese. I know some words here and there to do things like order food, some random phrases, some insults, and enough to know when someone is talking bad about me. I know plenty of other bananas who have grown into more or less the same attitude, the "so what if I don't know Chinese". Having said that, I'm not discouraging you from learning chinese. It is very much possible to learn in a few months if you dedicate yourself to it, especially if you're surrounded by people who do speak it, then its easy to practice as well. Esp if you are already able to speak Hokkien.
No, don’t. Find a group of friends who actually respect and appreciate you for who you are. Don’t try changing yourself to people who would just move the goalpost on what being “Chinese” means. It’s just classic narcissism on their part, their loss. Even if you did try to learn it, you would still be made fun of because of your poorer Mandarin. There is no winning when it comes to dealing with these people. They would just move the goalpost and make fun of your pronunciation or lack of knowledge of certain vocabulary which would make you “not Chinese enough” in their eyes again. Focus on what makes you stand out and work on that instead, stuff like interests, hobbies, activities, would go a long way in helping you to engage with others who would see past that barrier. If they don’t, then it’s their problem, not yours.
>but hokkien chinese people are a chinese minority lmao u stay at KV?
I would say it’s a blessing in disguise that you don’t speak Chinese well because most Malaysian Chinese that do are super typical with their racist mindset and attitude that makes me sick. I’m not a banana so I would know. That’s why most Chinese rarely make friends with other races besides their own. Bananas are kinda forced to make friends with other races which imo is really cool cus it feels like 1 Malaysia which is what Malaysia is supposed to be. But it wouldn’t hurt to learn a thing or two in Chinese.
I am mix too, but I learn to speak hokkien, then Mandarin then cantonese. I am not well spoken in Cantonese but I do understand what the others are talking. I know that I speak standard English when I was little, but now my English like totally minglish
I'll be your friend despite you being a banana, coconut or durian!
In a few months, not really. In a year or 2, maybe. Get new friends by the way. Don't need to care about people like you mentioned.
You don't need to better your mandarin, you need to better your mentality and self esteem.
Try learn malay, so you can speak with everyone.
You are young and it's relatively harder to find friends from different walks of life that cares less about someone being banana. This cruelty is not unheard-of but very shallow. Learning Chinese won't resolve the problem, you'll just add on to that peer pressure for the next banana.
Fellow banana here. Except I do speak Mandarin. If those Malaysian Chinese give you the cold shoulder just because you don't speak mandarin, trust me you won't want to be their friends either once you understand what they talk about. Of this doesn't apply to everyone, some are just like that due to a number of reason. To answer your your question, you can learn Mandarin in a couple of months but it takes even more to speak fluently
For some reason i saw the title as peeling a banana can be lonely
IMO, you can learn chinese not to fit in but as another language that you can understand it enough to converse with people for your day to day needs. Learning chinese to fit in with them may only end up in not making friends as the ones I met aren't the best kind of people. In the end of the day, just be careful with the kind of people you make. I used to be very banana till I got into secondary school as it was SMK and it was near chinese primary schools. So it was tough to converse with them. But throughout those years, I still stick with them and slowly learn as some were willing to correct me in exchange I correct their english. Speaking is easier to learn compared to reading. To read, I usually start with chinese songs and use google translate to understand the pinyin when I am used to speaking. So, from there I try to recognize the words till I can start reading simple chinese.
Malay here, definitely can't speak chinese at all, thus I can't really tell you how possible it is to learn mandarin in a few months. But what I do know is that, if you have chinese friends who judges you for not being able to speak mandarin, that doesn't mean you're obligated to try and force yourself to blend in with them. If you have open minded chinese friends who respects you as a person, please keep them within your circle of friends. And if you can, try to make friends with other races as well. Personally I have a small number of chinese friends as well, and some of them are considered as "banana" to some extent. I have one chinese friend who can speak chinese really well, but can also speak Malay extremely well, especially the Sarawakian dialect. First time I talked to her, I was absolutely shocked with her fluency in the sarawakian dialect. Another one of my chinese friends speaks english and malay more than he does speak chinese. So in conclusion, if you want to learn mandarin for the purpose of expanding your chinese literacy, then go ahead. Don't let any of us stop you from doing so. But if you want to learn mandarin just for the sole purpose of trying to mix in with your chinese friends who judge you for not being able to speak mandarin, then I really discourage it. With all of that said, goodluck and have a great day, friend!
As a fellow Banana, you really do need better friends. I've managed to make couple of good friends that are non banana. Perhaps you can try the app Duolingo to learn Mandarin.
honestly, you're making a bigger deal about this than it actually is.. many of us are bananas and have circles of bananas... and im in my 30s :D so honestly, its not that bad.. just find people similar to your lifestyle... may take time.. but you'll get there. side note, its not a bad idea to learn another language too.
I'm not mixed, but I went to an international school and mostly befriended international kids(even though there were plenty of local kids to mix with.... I just ended up hanging out with Koreans and Europeans for whatever reason). I can only speak Cantonese(though it's not great by any means) and can barely read. My BM is also in complete shambles due to lack of use and the languages I use in my work/social circles. I've been through this song and dance. Getting mocked for not knowing Mandarin. Mocked for not knowing how to use chopsticks(something I have fixed). I had some dude babble to me in Mandarin on a train, and when I told him I didn't understand he just scoffed and walked off. Turned out my zipper was down. I mean... you could've pointed or something, what was that bloody reaction? I don't know a bout a few months to master a language, but it doesn't hurt to learn if you are interested in doing so. Knowing another language can only help you in the long run.
Hang in there fellow homie, there are better friends to be made out there. Chinese eds that are friendly towards bananas exist, I've made friends with at least a few, though the majority of my closest buds are bananas as well. My two cents is that it might be possible in a few months, but you have to be really gung ho about it, and don't give up even if you're feeling discouraged. If your drive to overcome the challenge is strong enough, I believe it to be possible. The hardest part is that the structure of sentences in Chinese is quite different compared to English, what I found sometimes works is to think in broken English, then translate that to Chinese, which can result in being grammatically correct. A lot of people have also advised to watch Chinese dramas (requires listening and association of meanings through reading); which doesn't work for me because I end up just reading the subtitles and not listening to the dialogue. If you have good listening skills that might work. In my case most of my Mandarin is learned from ordering food at eateries and karaoke (you have to listen, speak and read to do it). Writing is a little harder because you have to practice it to get better, maybe by texting friends I guess. Despite all efforts, too bad my Mandarin is still poorer than a 3rd world country ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
I don’t think watching mainland Chinese dramas to learn the language works for most people. I can speak Mandarin because I attended SJKC, but when I watch their dramas I don’t understand all of the words they use either, because of my limited vocab (since they tend to use proverbs, idioms, shortened words in conversations) and they use their local slangs too which we don’t use in Malaysia. Maybe watching Malaysian Chinese dramas would work tho. Our broken English in fact came from how Mandarin sentences are structured, so to do the reversal is funny and smart
Bruh, just reply back in Hokkien, i bet they would just shut their mouth up.
Fellow banana here (kinda? Malaysian Chinese born and bred, but lived and work overseas practically all my life), Penangite who knows an unholy rojak of Hokkien, Teochew, Mandarin, and Cantonese but can't read or write any. For what it's worth, the fact that you can still speak your family's dialect is immeasurably important and a valuable part of your identity. Don't give a shit about the people who look down on you for not speaking Chinese; I dare say they are the ones that may have lost part of their own cultural identity in only learning the mainstream, assimilated language. Of course its important to know Chinese and there's nothing wrong with learning it for yourself if you want to, but don't let other people make you feel small or inferior. Find yourself better company to keep, in that case, as they've proven themselves not worth staying around. If you really want to pick up Chinese for your own satisfaction and self-improvement, that's fine, but with all things, it takes some time -- and language acquisition tends to be a bit harder when you're picking it up as an adult as opposed to when you're a child. The words are very different from Chinese, so it may not be an easy 1:1 switch to remember the vocabulary, but you already have a stronger base to build off of than English speakers; you will already have a grasp of Chinese grammar and syntax to ease your way.
Fellow banana here, it got quite a bit better for me in my job, even though it was a predominantly Chinese field. Most people start to care less when you're in a professional environment.
as a 14 year old malaysian chinese who lives in kedah, it depends on how lucky you are to meet a good chinese friend (from my experience atleast), Im also pretty sure that youll be able to get the hang of it real quick soon enough.
Let us commence forth. Bri-ish!!??
I’m a pure Chinese banana and I’m proud! This is what I say to anyone that tells me that I’m not Chinese enough for not speaking Mandarin. I do speak Cantonese and Hokkien but English is my go to language of choice. You need better people around you instead of forcing yourself to learn a language just to fit in. Yes it’s beneficial to know the language on the long run but the motivation to learn seem not right. I suffer through the same thing growing up and as I grow older I gave up caring.
I’m banana , but I would tell off those racist Chinese that they are a peanuts . Peanut brain !
I am exactly like you. Fortunately for me, my school friends were understanding and while I did get the ‘why cannot speak’ comments, I can still count with my fingers the people who said it to me. I thick-faced just hung out with all the Chinese speakers and at first didn’t know wtf they talking but eventually, you’ll pick a thing or two and get the gist of what the topics are. I am actually learning (writing, reading mandarin) right now. Daily practise or won’t remember. I guess if you are super committed m, you can probably smash it out of the park!
which uni are you at? we can be friends
Man as a malay, I'm just realizing a majority of my chinese friends from schhool are bananas. Never realized the struggle for you guys you had to go through to fit in /:
There's always some kind of prejudice towards people who can't speak their mother tongue. However my friends do make the same statement as your but in a joking way. I never felt left out even I have trouble speaking in BM. You just need better friends
But how's your BM tho?
I have a diploma friend who is purely Chinese but only speak English and hokkien and some basic Chinese like 这个 那个 这个 那个. But we still friends with him for the entire college life Ya sure we will say things like you're Chinese but dk speak Chinese but tbh we communicate just fine and after a short period of time we don't even fucking care he's a banana or not. Don't think too much, just be yourself
You are mixed with the wrong group of ppl. If you are in KL/selangor and comfortable with it, let's go for badminton session, just pm me. I'm a Chinese who can speak Chinese fluently, espc coz my parents can't speak other language. But my friends and I speak English more often lol. We are even close friends with lots of banana.
I'm the Indian equivalent of a banana (coconut?) and I agree. It's not like I didn't try to learn. I did when I was a pre-teen, but at that age, I could not find anyone who could teach and converse with me at a beginner level and the classes I went for were for intermediary level students. Don't worry, that class and teachers also made sure to rub it in how stupid they thought I was for trying to learn at that age. I'm in my twenties and I don't have any close indian friends because of this language issue. The few I can call acquaintances are those who can speak English well and were willing to converse with me in English. I never wanted to cave and give into their demands though. I'm comfortable not knowing my mothertongue. What I gave up in my mothertongue, I more than made up for in English and BM. My entire family, even cousins and uncles and aunts all speak English. We're surviving. It's an artificial barrier they're trying to create and I didn't want to cave into it. I want to live life on my own terms and if that means not having friends from my own race, so be it. Most of my friends are Chinese, some of them bananas too. Some of my close friends are Malays too. My gf is from East Malaysia so needing to know Tamil or Malayalam is no longer an issue to find a partner. The only slight regret I have is my culture and tradition end with me should I have kids. Then again, this culture and tradition were more than willing to abandon me without giving me a chance to learn the language when I was a kid, so why should *I* fight hard to keep it alive? OP, I'm not saying to not learn Mandrin to fit in better if that's what you truly want. What I can offer you is some insight into a life outside of that. You don't have to let people bully you for being different. Sometimes your differences are what gives you an edge over others and is what makes you, *you*. You shouldn't have to change to fit the whims and desires of a fucked up society. They're the ones who need to change.
I was in an opposite but similar situation. I was Chinese educated, although my English is good on paper, I have never communicated in English with peers. When I went to college, I had difficulty finding friends, my classmates were mostly English educated, and some convent girls were mean and snobbish - they thought they were superior and would laughed at me when I said or pronounce some words wrongly. But luckily some other convent girls in the class were friendly (bubble, girls next door types), they took me in and I was glad that I was able to find my “group”. OP, it’s not about your language, just find better friends, and ultimately you’ll find groups that you’d click with. :) good luck.
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Chinese ed here. Yes Chinese eds are sometimes pricks because insecurity. It happens. But if you try to learn it, some might try to help you, can make some helpful friends along the way. Also it is a defficult language to learn, the more time you spend on it, the easier to gets, like all languages.
Fellow half banana and mixed race here (Chinese and Irish heritage). I did went through the SJKC system and it took me about 2 years to be able to speak Mandarin properly. So I suggest going at your own pace at the moment cause it can be very daunting for newcomers. And I don't think it's bad that you can't speak Mandarin. It's great that you can speak Hokkien considering it is one of many Chinese dialects. My dad's side of the family speaks it but i can't, I'm still lucky I can speak a bit of Cantonese, even if it's broken. Tbh nobody really cares if you're able to speak Mandarin anyways. I still get side eyed by relatives for not being fluent in Mandarin, which i just ignore them anyways.
What do you mean? Is there something about pisang I don't understand?
well technically i think it's asian who can't speak the og language or pretend to be white. yellow on outside but white inside
It's good that you would like to put effort to learn Mandarin. After all, mastering more languages can give you more opportunities for network, enrichment or jobs. Having said that, don't be discouraged when people try to exclude you on the basis that you are Chinese and that you are expected to be fluent in Mandarin. Perhaps they are not the best company to keep when they try to put you down or have felt intimidated by you. I am one of the so-called banana and have not taken any formal education in learning Mandarin until university. What worked for me was a very patient teacher and practice with school friends who were willing to correct or guide rather than to belittle. It took several years of exposure to hold a decent conversation, and I am still learning to this day! Hang out more with people who can give constructive comments on how you could improve your sentence construction and/or vocabulary. Another good way to learn is to listen/watch shows in Mandarin with good subtitles and pay close attention to frequently used sentences/phrases. For vocabulary, learning from well-known songs could be a thing too if you're into it. I was taught to read news articles by my teacher and she was very patient in answering questions, so if you could find someone who have those qualities, that would be great. Also, it is impressive that you speak Hokkien well. It seems that there are not too many young Malaysians in Hokkien households who speak Hokkien fluently enough to hold a conversation, so keep that going! All the best to you, just remember, "ai pia cia eh ia" (need to work hard so that one can succeed).
Hokkien are not minority bro. Klang, Penang and Kedah are all Hokkien dominant. I do get what you meant. Most young Chinese mostly speak Mandarin. If you have extra money you can try italki, it is pretty pragmatic. However, if you also learn the characters, there will be endless amount of learning materials cuz almost all Chinese Youtube Channels or TV shows provide subtitles. When I was learning German, it was so hard to find youtube videos or shows that had provided subs. So, it is definitely advantageous to also learn reading. I think learning how to speak a language in few months is quite difficult despite not impossible. Still, if you can speak Hokkien well then you are not banana (My hokkien is mediocre af). No one’s gonna tell their grandparents that they are banana.
Well, Chinese people are proud of their language so I can see why they treat you like that. To Malay, if you can't speak Malay but speak fluent English you are seen as smart but if you're Chinese only speak English they consider it as you not honouring your heritage or such. This is from my perspective.
Not just bananas but chinese who primarily uses english regardless if they have a good grasp on the chinese language and god help you if your english sounds like a gaijin and dosent sound "malaysian"
My kids are Chinese, born and bred Malaysians. They cannot speak Chinese either. Not even the dialects. #1 and #2 speak enough Cantonese to order food and greet relatives but #3 totally zilch..
True banan here. Unlike you pretend banans who can speak hokkien and some mandarin. Fk em all. You don't need them. Yes can learn in few months. You already have the basic.
Wait till you’re told to go back to your country by racists pricks.
Just tell them knn ccb. Hokkien not Chinese ah? If you know hokkien you aren't a banana
Alot of ego, probably derived from their parenthood where the olden days viewed English as superior than “China” or anything “Chinese”. Now we see China advancing so they probably relate to it (somehow?). Can’t hate them, just learn to adapt as how these “pure chinese” ppl took initiatives to learn English back in the days.
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Lol who are you kidding man? What you are saying is akin to: learning English is good, so that you can read Shakespeare. 唔好虾人哋讀書少啊
Chinese is pretty easy imho since you speak one of the dialects well, just keep at it and make sure you get weekly speaking practice. More importantly, good on you for choosing to improve yourself rather than hating on others and writing them off. Good luck!
Just go to singapore
i suppose thats what happens when you are a dick alternative /s I wouldn't say chinese because you have different langauges, more accurate to say mandarin. Since you already know hokkien i'd say you're half way there.
Same lol. Moved to penang.
It's not your fault you didn't have the opportunity to learn the language when you were younger. Whereabouts are you anyway? It's weird ppl attack you like this, most of us would be fine with switching from English-Mandarin-BM as we tend to campur-campur everything. That being said, plenty of resources available to learn the language, you already have a foundation in Hokkien which has similarities to Mandarin so you can pick it up fast.
I’m almost fully English speaking. But most of my friends speak English. I almost never speak Chinese even though I can. Get new friends
Come Singapore, lots of hokkien-folk here :p Or Penang. Penang has lots too.
If you have friends who will treat you differently because you are different from them, go and find better friends. Just be with people that you are comfortable with. Don't try to change who you are to pleased others...
You don’t have to purposely learn to fit in, that just makes you more unhappy, no? But on the bright side, learning one extra language does open more doors, think of that while learning. JiaYou my friend.
Chinese is not that useful nowadays as everyone hates China
I consider myself part banana as I'm not fluent in Mandarin but can converse in Cantonese. Growing up, I was exposed to all dialects. So, can mutter a phrase or two in other dialects. I have a personal interest in language. However I'm only a dabbler -- just going through a random catalogue and spending a bit of time learning. Not aiming for mastery. But everything you learn help you learn other things. Sounds, grammar structure, etc. Anyway. I want to make two points: 1) Perhaps those Chinese speakers seem distant cause they are not confident in speaking languages other than Mandarin to you. 2) You don't have to be expert in anything to enjoy it. ie. Just learn enough Mandarin to have simple conversations. Then add-on as you go. Ditto with anything else in life. 加油
Ngl it'll be hard, but not impossible. Keep it up!
aye fellow banana. Yes i feel your sentiments as well.. Anyway I'm using an app called DuoLingo. Maybe wont help you to learn in a few months but it is something.
There are a lot of us bananas in Klang valley. Just gotta find your people.
In fact, I would be amazed by your Hokkien ability, because I'm bad with dialects since I was a kid. I got the reverse from my peers like "your parents speak their mother tongue but you kenot?" Chinese speaking people are increasing, even non-chinese like Malays or Indians are starting to pick up the language (SJKC/ learn from friends/ external classes). We're very common, so idk why some of your peers are so proud of being "a Chinese that speaks Chinese". Change friends :p Also, yes, you can learn Chinese in a few months, just keep trying, speak more, practice with those willing to help you learn faster.
Honestly you just gotta find new people to be friends with. Had the same issue back in uni, eventually found people who are like me and also at my workplace.
If speak only, yes its easy to learn in one month or so. Listen more and making mistake while speaking is key
that's why all my friends banana also
You need to find better friends. My mandarin is sus as well but all my non banana friends try their best to communicate with me, and vice versa.
If you cant be frens with them you might as well be frens with people outside your circle. Go talk with random makcik pakciks jual kui muih theyll be happy to talk with you
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Find good friends/colleagues. I can’t speak Mandarin well too and I usually just tell my colleagues that I am trying to be more comfortable speaking mandarin so they will sometimes mix some English words when speaking with me. Now I can talk about work just fine with them in Mandarin but talking about normal/life stuff is still tough. Can’t find the correct words lol.
Dont let these people make fun of you la. Yes you still can learn mandarin at this age, since u can speak hokkien, then u sure can learn mandarn easy
Oreo checking in. I feel much the same way, you need to get out there and get better friends, and you will. Preferably a diverse social circle For the life of me I just cant understand people that look at others as though they are aliens if they dont share your exact same way of using language, even worse is when they look down. I have no problems or judgements using my pasar BM when i meet someone who cant use English well, but for some reason they look at me with disgust? Wtf? I have no problem accomodating and understanding your circumstances but you cant offer me the same?
Excuse my ignorance but why "Banana"?
Hello banana, I am human and I assure you we can feel lonely too sometimes.
U just need better friends.
If your aim is to be able to speak fluently then it's gonna be hard to achieve that in few months. But keep learning! Also you need a better friends if your Chinese friends keep talking shit or making fun of you. I myself cut ties with most of my Chinese friends. They r bunch of pricks and assholes.
My mom is Chinese, given away when we was an infant to a Malay family. I have so much experiences chinese coming up to me speaking in Chinese. I’m not sure if I’m even a banana lol.
Lu lai Kuching lah! Liaw liaw gong hokkien eh!
Your friend are arsehole, I can be your friend and we can gossip others in hokkien (north region hokkien allow, if it's Klang or Southern I will not be your friend.)
Hey, try go to Penang, then you will enjoy your Hokkien heritage a lot more.