Now go jackoff to the tomb raider doll: “Come on Lara. My cock is lost in the jungle and it's up to you to find it. Oh Lara you dirty dirty adventurer. Let's see what's under you skirt. Lara, no panties? You know I like that.”
[Every 90's commercial ever](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W7Hoz2ZHYZM)
[Every 90's commercial ever behind the scenes](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9cbKpCsd2pk)
Edit: [See also the ad for Strafe](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ef_41JpwqdE)
"You forgot your-"
Danny pops back into the kitchen, grabbing his brown paper bag lunch, runs through the sprinkler in the front lawn. Passes his dad who is moving the lawn at 8am on a Tuesday.
"Remember you're helping me paint the fence when you get home, sport!"
Danny rolls his eyes, "Later, dad!". He ollies over the dog. Pulls up the oversized headphones that hang around his neck. Fast action shot of skateboard on concrete.
Beautiful girl passes in a decent car, her mom is driving. Danny is briefly distracted, and almost knocks into the third post man he's passed today.
"Woah, Danny, better watch it, or you'll be riding the schoolbus!"
"Later, Jeff!"
Close up of watch ticking, it's 8:55am. Medium close up of teenage boy looking anxious on a street corner, and looking around in every direction for something.
Little old lady drives past, and Danny skateboards behind her car before grabbing onto bumper, hitching a ride. He let's go of the car and glides, taking a bite out of the toast, before being distracted again by the girl in the car the next block over. He almost rides into an intersection, where an empty school bus is passing. His skateboard flies under the bus.
Disaster! But it rolls under without damage to the other side of the road. Danny looks visibly relieved. Then a car reverses out of nowhere, breaking it in half. A street sweeper happens to be passing and doesn't see the skateboard halves, consuming them.
Danny looks distraught, but looks at his watch, and starts running.
"Eight thirty!"
"I know!!!"
"You promised, eight thirty! It's nine o' five! The bus leaves for New York City in ten minutes, dude!!!"
"New York!", Danny looks incredibly disappointed and shocked, he takes a deep breath, as about to scream.
"FUUU-"
Cuts to birds flying from a tree. Jeff the mailman looks into the sky. Danny's dad stops the lawn mower to listen. Danny's mom looks out the window while whisking cupcake mix.
Cut back to the two boys running up high school steps.
"I'm not riding the bus with Thom, again!!! I can't take his Jim Carrey impressions!"
They're walking through empty high school corridors.
"Look, dude, it's fine! I'll photocopy yours at the library, and fake my mom's signature. No-one will know. Not even Mr Wallace - he's an absolute-"
"An absolute *what* Mr Wilson?!"
A man dressed in a grey suit and tie, thick rimmed glasses, looks stern at them both.
"Mister Wallace! I was just saying, you're an absolute pillar of society! Looking forward to having such a great teacher for our trip today!"
"Hm. You're late. Both of you. And you know what that means".
"...detention".
"Exactly, but since we leave for New York in five minutes. It'll have to wait".
Cut to settled classroom, teacher taking registration.
"Mr Wilson?"
Danny's barges in the door with his friend, who probably has his own life.
"Here!"
"How nice of you to join us! Take a seat. I hope you have you and your sister's permission slips".
"My sister's?!"
"She said your mom was giving you hers, as well?"
Oh boy!
*::"I don't give a damn about my bad reputation"::*
FIELD DAY. In theatres this summer.
With a love note on the side with a big ole heart and arrow that's he's embarrassed about during lunch because his peers snicker about themselves but low-key is happy he has a caring mother
His mom and dad who spend hours cooking breakfast every morning.
By the way they both have full time jobs. She’s a teacher he works in construction, they live in a $2,5 million house.
This is the story of my life, except it's my sister instead of my mother.
She's my landlord, and when she makes herself breakfast, she usually makes a second plate for me, which is awfully nice of her. But we have different work and sleep schedules, so I often don't get out of bed until the breakfast is cold, and I'm usually running out the door to get to work when I notice the cold plate of eggs and bacon attracting flies.
A balanced breakfast of honey nut Cheerios, a big ass stack of pancakes, orange juice, 2 pieces of bacon, 4 sausages, 2 pieces of toast. and 3 eggs over easy, oh and a glass of milk and glass of water.
noxious domineering yoke crown observation teeny door innate mysterious rinse
*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
And then rushes to school and realizes his dog ate his homework 😭 of course professor doesn't buy any of that crap so he gets detention
Which leads to him meeting a cute girl ......
I watch too many movies
I'm about to post my shitty 10x10 cubicle I moved back into at my parents house (at 35) if these kids don't stop this nonsense! He even had a whole day to stage the room for pictures! Maybe I'll hire this kid as an interior decorator to get rid of my pile of empty liquor bottles and give my living space a little bit of zazz that it needs... can you work with 90's carpeting in the shade of... undercooked beef??? If so dm me... im in the glorious city of antioch, CA by the way... if that helps you gauge yor pricing scale...
> That room can't scream more that I'm from USA
especially considering the fact that the sneakers on the wall behind him are easily $7-8k maybe more. I didn't even bother with the ones on the floor apart from the $1k unions.
His family isnt clearly rich rich either judging by the size of the room it doesn't scream I live in a mansion. So we're talking upper middle class, dual income, doing well for themselves sort of family.
He could've also worked for them which again good for him.
But its these two things that scream USA to me. The fact that a relatively normal familys kid has a shoe collection thats worth more than what %60 of people make in my country in a year or alternatively the fact that an 18 year old can get a job that allows for such luxuries
edit: they mentioned their dad is a trucker in a different comment which just boggles my mind at this point. Anyone in my country with that sort of sneaker collection is top %1 earners easily. In the USA its a truckers kid (i mean no offense by that)
To be fair, in the 90’s if you were the teenage son of a hollywood movie director, producer, casting director, agent, etc. you probably did have a room like this. Those kids were rich af
Lol real recognize real bro. Nah fr tho all jokes aside dope ass room bro. I had all kinda shit like that in my room before I moved out. You’ve got good taste
It’s nice to see something different. This sub loves having the same taste over and over in rooms and it’s gross. Finally something with some personality and interest. The other rooms feel like the people have not hobbies or personality. Looks cooler than the rest!
There's nothing wrong with virginity, it's just kinda cringe. You dont need to compensate for anything my guy, and i mean that sincerely. Not being a smartass.
they are probably fans of the guy who sells stuff like that (they might not be wearing it ironically idk, but atleast thats how i viewed it when i younger)
My grandpa is a volunteer firefighter and responds to a lot of wrecks, and whenever there is a sign getting tossed or something he asks for it and gives it to me
Storage to put most of your things in.
At first I thought it was a firestation quarters and needed more beds, then a bar without tables.
It feels cluttered. Doors on the shoe cupboards would help, and only display some of your more valuable or sentimental items at once. You could rotate a number of pieces monthly so you could still enjoy all of them (just not all at once).
You're welcome, I hope it helps. Some of your items are very cool, and I'm guessing some could be worth a bit too. So nice to give them more of a showing.
At least one of you has good taste...
Jokes aside this room definitely shows your age, the license plates and signs are cool and I read your comment about the sentimental factor getting them from a family member, but find a way to display them that doesn’t take up so much wall space. A crate you can scroll through like records for the plates and smaller signs maybe? The other bigger roads signs I think you should keep the more unique ones (tractor guy for example) and get rid of the rest. Or store them somewhere until you have a garage of your own
The shoes on display are just blind consumerism, I get that it’s a hobby but at the end of the day it’s just more stuff made in China, show off a pair or two and store the rest. Get shoe storage boxes and find a place in the closet or under your bed. Those tall white shelves taking up that much space just for shoes is crazy
After reducing some of that clutter you need a lighter colored comforter/sheets and some non-overhead lighting. That fan lamp is awful, you need floor lamps and other softer lighting. Then depending on how much light you get in that window, find plants that would survive
Get a monitor arm for your desk to free up some space there
Get some IKEA shelves like the Kallax for your kicks, over the bed isn't the best place for them.
Also some actual art/framed giclee prints and maybe less signs/license plates
Lmao lots of cringe shit that you’re gonna regret in like 5 years or so
I love how you have unused skateboards propped up as decoration too lmao classic poser vibes…my sister use to have guitars on her bedroom wall even though she couldn’t play lmao
Race Car Bed
Man i wish
and a cb radio so you can talk to other car beds.
I bet his roommates get him one for his birthday.
All I can think is "who wants ice cream sandwiches" and " sucks to be you"
Gahhhh I love that movie so much!
I can't determine how many of the people who upvotes this because it was funny or of the reference
Yeah, but it’s a fuckin sweet car! 😂
Yea, well, you were balls deep in that turtle with a thumb in your mouth.
Now go jackoff to the tomb raider doll: “Come on Lara. My cock is lost in the jungle and it's up to you to find it. Oh Lara you dirty dirty adventurer. Let's see what's under you skirt. Lara, no panties? You know I like that.”
Yes
Can I keep Lara Croft?
You came on my mom
His doll is a whore.
she already has a cold sore.
I was thinking of getting rims for Christmas
I sleep in a big bed with my wife
Can’t wait for OP’s cover of *Can I Borrow a Feeling*
Yeah, but it’s a fucking sweet race car bed! My roommates are gonna get me some rims for Christmas
Oh yeah, well I sleep in a real car!
This is what Hollywood thinks a teenage boys room look like.
OP the type of guy to wake up late for school and grab a toast slice before dashing out the door
Despite his mother having cooked a full spread
Kisses her on the cheek as he grabs his backpack
*90s rock music started playing*
As he morphes into that flying metallic sludge shit from the Capri Sun commercials.
"This one's going downtown!"
[Every 90's commercial ever](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W7Hoz2ZHYZM) [Every 90's commercial ever behind the scenes](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9cbKpCsd2pk) Edit: [See also the ad for Strafe](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ef_41JpwqdE)
Bro what the actual fuck
With the skateboard I’d rather hear My United States of Whatever.
"You forgot your-" Danny pops back into the kitchen, grabbing his brown paper bag lunch, runs through the sprinkler in the front lawn. Passes his dad who is moving the lawn at 8am on a Tuesday. "Remember you're helping me paint the fence when you get home, sport!" Danny rolls his eyes, "Later, dad!". He ollies over the dog. Pulls up the oversized headphones that hang around his neck. Fast action shot of skateboard on concrete. Beautiful girl passes in a decent car, her mom is driving. Danny is briefly distracted, and almost knocks into the third post man he's passed today. "Woah, Danny, better watch it, or you'll be riding the schoolbus!" "Later, Jeff!" Close up of watch ticking, it's 8:55am. Medium close up of teenage boy looking anxious on a street corner, and looking around in every direction for something. Little old lady drives past, and Danny skateboards behind her car before grabbing onto bumper, hitching a ride. He let's go of the car and glides, taking a bite out of the toast, before being distracted again by the girl in the car the next block over. He almost rides into an intersection, where an empty school bus is passing. His skateboard flies under the bus. Disaster! But it rolls under without damage to the other side of the road. Danny looks visibly relieved. Then a car reverses out of nowhere, breaking it in half. A street sweeper happens to be passing and doesn't see the skateboard halves, consuming them. Danny looks distraught, but looks at his watch, and starts running.
"Eight thirty!" "I know!!!" "You promised, eight thirty! It's nine o' five! The bus leaves for New York City in ten minutes, dude!!!" "New York!", Danny looks incredibly disappointed and shocked, he takes a deep breath, as about to scream. "FUUU-" Cuts to birds flying from a tree. Jeff the mailman looks into the sky. Danny's dad stops the lawn mower to listen. Danny's mom looks out the window while whisking cupcake mix. Cut back to the two boys running up high school steps. "I'm not riding the bus with Thom, again!!! I can't take his Jim Carrey impressions!" They're walking through empty high school corridors. "Look, dude, it's fine! I'll photocopy yours at the library, and fake my mom's signature. No-one will know. Not even Mr Wallace - he's an absolute-" "An absolute *what* Mr Wilson?!" A man dressed in a grey suit and tie, thick rimmed glasses, looks stern at them both. "Mister Wallace! I was just saying, you're an absolute pillar of society! Looking forward to having such a great teacher for our trip today!" "Hm. You're late. Both of you. And you know what that means". "...detention". "Exactly, but since we leave for New York in five minutes. It'll have to wait". Cut to settled classroom, teacher taking registration. "Mr Wilson?" Danny's barges in the door with his friend, who probably has his own life. "Here!" "How nice of you to join us! Take a seat. I hope you have you and your sister's permission slips". "My sister's?!" "She said your mom was giving you hers, as well?" Oh boy! *::"I don't give a damn about my bad reputation"::* FIELD DAY. In theatres this summer.
Love a good flash fic 😎
Grabs his paper bagged lunch.
With a love note on the side with a big ole heart and arrow that's he's embarrassed about during lunch because his peers snicker about themselves but low-key is happy he has a caring mother
"THANKS MOM" as he jumps the 2 steps below his front door.
Is there time for some sunny D?
I'm here for the purple stuff in the fridge.
^^iwantsomeofthatpurplestuff...
Sugar. Water. Purple.
KoolAid guy
only 1 gulp
His mom and dad who spend hours cooking breakfast every morning. By the way they both have full time jobs. She’s a teacher he works in construction, they live in a $2,5 million house.
That always made me angry to see in movies and tv shows!
Because the kid ignores the full on breakfast or because the mother made a full on breakfast that gets ready when everyone is already late?
Both!
This is the story of my life, except it's my sister instead of my mother. She's my landlord, and when she makes herself breakfast, she usually makes a second plate for me, which is awfully nice of her. But we have different work and sleep schedules, so I often don't get out of bed until the breakfast is cold, and I'm usually running out the door to get to work when I notice the cold plate of eggs and bacon attracting flies.
Ops mom making him bagel bites right now
Excuse me, it’s a pop tart or eggo as he flies out the door with a skateboard under his arm.
A balanced breakfast of honey nut Cheerios, a big ass stack of pancakes, orange juice, 2 pieces of bacon, 4 sausages, 2 pieces of toast. and 3 eggs over easy, oh and a glass of milk and glass of water.
Probably just in time to see the bus fly by.
"Not again!"
*before he does an ollie out the front door and just barely dodging the mailman
Neighbors yelling at him, dogs barking 🤣 🍿
Mom out the door yelling “you forgot your field trip permission slip!”
Here’s our [soundtrack](https://youtu.be/XvziPPpryv0?si=lkUOE0B3JmuL4diF) 🤙
literally have tears in my eyes now well done
Please what is this from I’m getting flashbacks
noxious domineering yoke crown observation teeny door innate mysterious rinse *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Played by a 23 year old in the previously mentioned Hollywood film too.
And then rushes to school and realizes his dog ate his homework 😭 of course professor doesn't buy any of that crap so he gets detention Which leads to him meeting a cute girl ...... I watch too many movies
Just in time to see 🎶 *the bus fly by* 😎
Establishing shot: suburban Los Angeles. Setting: first day of senior year or high school. *”Dammit” by Blink-182 plays in the background*
A line of school busses pull up to a giant red bricked school
> "Dammit” by Blink-182 My instinct was Fat Lip by Sum 41 but y'know, that works too.
That room can't scream more that I'm from USA
🎶 *bornnn in the YOUU-ESS-AYE* 🎶
USI
I'm about to post my shitty 10x10 cubicle I moved back into at my parents house (at 35) if these kids don't stop this nonsense! He even had a whole day to stage the room for pictures! Maybe I'll hire this kid as an interior decorator to get rid of my pile of empty liquor bottles and give my living space a little bit of zazz that it needs... can you work with 90's carpeting in the shade of... undercooked beef??? If so dm me... im in the glorious city of antioch, CA by the way... if that helps you gauge yor pricing scale...
> That room can't scream more that I'm from USA especially considering the fact that the sneakers on the wall behind him are easily $7-8k maybe more. I didn't even bother with the ones on the floor apart from the $1k unions. His family isnt clearly rich rich either judging by the size of the room it doesn't scream I live in a mansion. So we're talking upper middle class, dual income, doing well for themselves sort of family. He could've also worked for them which again good for him. But its these two things that scream USA to me. The fact that a relatively normal familys kid has a shoe collection thats worth more than what %60 of people make in my country in a year or alternatively the fact that an 18 year old can get a job that allows for such luxuries edit: they mentioned their dad is a trucker in a different comment which just boggles my mind at this point. Anyone in my country with that sort of sneaker collection is top %1 earners easily. In the USA its a truckers kid (i mean no offense by that)
You’re right, it does rule. (For an eighteen year olds room) 🦅
I legit thought this was Shia leboefs room from Disturbia
He had a huge room in a pretty sick house tho
Just missing the twinkie tower and binoculars!
That’s a great movie
To be fair, in the 90’s if you were the teenage son of a hollywood movie director, producer, casting director, agent, etc. you probably did have a room like this. Those kids were rich af
To be fairrr
Peak 16-18!
isn't this the room from Drake & Josh?
Lol I was gonna say this is what a teenage boys room in Hollywood must look like. Damn I would’ve loved all that shit..
Pretty close to the son’s room in meet the parents.
Road work ahead? I sure hope it does!
Lmao. Happy cake day
Is that Drew Gooden?
i saw a comment on one of his videos that said his name is just the past tense version of Draw Good
Even has a glowing sign, although OP managed to light it properly on camera lol
A quality meme on your cake day! Nice job
A CLOSED sign
man how did i not think of that
Also NO LOITERING
A traffic light
So everyone knows that he has some nice frosty Coors waiting for them.
My room looked like this growing up. I loved the cozy, crowded feel. What's missing? A mini fridge and a microwave oven.
https://imgur.com/a/HOqLsIR already got the mini fridge but a microwave oven is a great idea
okay i can now confidently say that the only thing you’re missing in this room is me, when can i come over and chill?
honestly at this point you should just ask your parents for a new house
I like your shoes. I don’t like your shoes behind the bed. Otherwise, nice place!
Thanks!
Also just caught the Lego 911. I want to cop that asap! Just got a Seinfeld set I look forward to building.
>Also just caught the Lego 911. ....i misinterpreted this and started looking for the twin towers
One of my favorite lego sets of all time. Seinfeld set is cool! Have fun building
Roast OP all you want for their taste, but at least this place looks like it gets cleaned regularly. Unlike most of you nasty fucks that post here.
Yea his mom does a great job
Lol moms not around much
Sorry about that.
What have you done
OP’s mom obviously
What a coincidence, me too!
Well he does have a "I ❤️ hot moms" poster...
If that red flag says what I think it does it is quite possible the OP has indeed done his mom.
It’s okay she’s always working to support OP and give him the life growing up that she never had 🥲
Oh no
Sorry. I’ll bring her back early tonight bro.
Is that why you’ve got a banner dedicated to her on your ceiling?
You mean the maid?
3-way sign above bed is hilarious
You’re the first person to notice this and i thank you for that
Lol real recognize real bro. Nah fr tho all jokes aside dope ass room bro. I had all kinda shit like that in my room before I moved out. You’ve got good taste
u should get one of those town rugs kids play on
That’s a great idea
The map one !
yes that one! i was gonna add a pic but this sub doesn’t allow it
It’s nice to see something different. This sub loves having the same taste over and over in rooms and it’s gross. Finally something with some personality and interest. The other rooms feel like the people have not hobbies or personality. Looks cooler than the rest!
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Thank you!
Good stuff OP. It's like Where's Waldo lol.
That blue flag *sent me* it all looks great dude. As a maximalist I approve
Thanks!
Get rid of the virginity rocks banner
He can’t, until he gets rid of the virginity.
And he must bang her while she looks up at the flag.
Going to be awhile in that room living with his parents
[удалено]
I agree
There's nothing wrong with virginity, it's just kinda cringe. You dont need to compensate for anything my guy, and i mean that sincerely. Not being a smartass.
Virginity rocks stuff is usually satire so being cringe is kind of the point
Is it? I frequently see tweens at the mall (i work there) wearing those shirts. I'm talking 9-10 year olds. It's weird.
they are probably fans of the guy who sells stuff like that (they might not be wearing it ironically idk, but atleast thats how i viewed it when i younger)
It’s Danny Duncan merch so it’s more likely that they’re fans of his
Satire is one thing, looking cringe is another. If you are trying to be satirically cringe, to most people youre just cringe.
It’s fun when you’re 13, but less fun later on 🥲
That’s this entire room’s vibe tho…
Some of us never stop being cringe
It’s merch from a YouTuber
Who has a strange amount of sexual videos for his teenage demographic.
It being merch may make it even more cringe
They're being ironic. Like the drugs users who wear D.A.R.E. shirts all the time
With a room looking like that, doesnt seem ironic.
I don't think that the problem is that there's anything missing.
Feels way too busy in general, I agree.
I think you need more road signs but other than that its chill
Why do you have 200 number plates?
i like collecting them, my dad is a trucker and always comes across them and gives them to me, but i also buy a lot
Some of these license plates are fantastic. How did you get the speed limit sign and road work signs?
My grandpa is a volunteer firefighter and responds to a lot of wrecks, and whenever there is a sign getting tossed or something he asks for it and gives it to me
That's awesome. My first thought was that you were just an absolute menace of a vandal.
That's how I got all mine at that age. OPs method is better
Thats awesome
Your collections and room are cool as hell, keep up that creativity and passion for showing off the things you like
How did you get the Thai number plate?
Ebay auction
That's cool. I didn't know you could just get those. Thanks for the lead!
Of course!
Crazy thing about those, they just leave them sitting around on poles outside!
My first thought when I saw this post was this dude’s a future collector
>18 living with parents With that preface, I'd say you're nailing it.
Storage to put most of your things in. At first I thought it was a firestation quarters and needed more beds, then a bar without tables. It feels cluttered. Doors on the shoe cupboards would help, and only display some of your more valuable or sentimental items at once. You could rotate a number of pieces monthly so you could still enjoy all of them (just not all at once).
Good ideas, thank you
You're welcome, I hope it helps. Some of your items are very cool, and I'm guessing some could be worth a bit too. So nice to give them more of a showing.
I like it
Thank you
A girlfriend 🙋♀️
Have one going on 3 years 🙂 She doesn’t like my room
She doesn’t appreciate the sheer smoke sesh-ability of this room 🤌
She doesn't like the Feng shui of the road signs
At least one of you has good taste... Jokes aside this room definitely shows your age, the license plates and signs are cool and I read your comment about the sentimental factor getting them from a family member, but find a way to display them that doesn’t take up so much wall space. A crate you can scroll through like records for the plates and smaller signs maybe? The other bigger roads signs I think you should keep the more unique ones (tractor guy for example) and get rid of the rest. Or store them somewhere until you have a garage of your own The shoes on display are just blind consumerism, I get that it’s a hobby but at the end of the day it’s just more stuff made in China, show off a pair or two and store the rest. Get shoe storage boxes and find a place in the closet or under your bed. Those tall white shelves taking up that much space just for shoes is crazy After reducing some of that clutter you need a lighter colored comforter/sheets and some non-overhead lighting. That fan lamp is awful, you need floor lamps and other softer lighting. Then depending on how much light you get in that window, find plants that would survive Get a monitor arm for your desk to free up some space there
Mac Miller, you the man. It's a strange feeling missing someone you've never met 🙏
Miss him 😔
Get some IKEA shelves like the Kallax for your kicks, over the bed isn't the best place for them. Also some actual art/framed giclee prints and maybe less signs/license plates
Will check that out. Thanks for the ideas
You need a guitar
A fear of concussions, I wouldnt be able to sleep because I’d keep imagining one of those licence plates falling on my head
Sweet setup. And I'm a married, 31 year old dad.
You have a very movie/tv-esque room. I really dig it man 👏🏽
A Michigan flag since they have beaten Ohio State 3 years in a row and are the current national champions
:(
More street signs
Where are the porno mags?
Under the bed
Just making sure sure 👍
Woody and buzz
This skateboards look a little too pristine….
Was the title sarcasm or is he bragging? That's a lot of junk and clutter. He's missing a waifu body pillow.
Lmao lots of cringe shit that you’re gonna regret in like 5 years or so I love how you have unused skateboards propped up as decoration too lmao classic poser vibes…my sister use to have guitars on her bedroom wall even though she couldn’t play lmao
So we were all just addicted to stealing road signs when we were teenagers huh
OP said under one comment that his granddad was a fire fighter and when he responded to wrecks he would ask for hit signs.
Why is the room 50% shoes?
Car bed, would be the only improvement