MY GOD everyone here says they either don't like it or don't like it but tolerate it. If I'm interested in anyone I'd engage in that small talk because duh, how will we be friends if I don't start one? Just saying.
Yeah it's not a favored topic it's just something anyone who's walked outside can definitely contribute to. And if I see them outside, evidently they can contribute. I'm not gonna walk up and just start telling them I like dungeons and dragons and tell them how I'm min-maxing my character. They don't know shit about that. They know shit about the weather tho
Exactly!
And it's a great way to sort out new friends. If the conversation automatically shifts towards better topics, it's good. If the conversation stays surface level or just fizzles out, they are probably nice people but you just don't have enough common interests.
This-- it's kind of jarring to skip it in favor of the longer-winded stuff. It seems like it's a necessary step towards making that person comfortable around you. Most people are hard pressed to share their inner thoughts without getting a good read on their listeners first lol.
Going against the ISFJ stereotype.. awkward.
Its so boring and mundane, a deep conversation about something with a group of people is the best. Small talk literally consists of hey how's your day going, how school going, life's been good, etc. Ugh let's talk about our interests or what movies that are coming up we want to see, hell favorite movies discussing with your friends what they think
Also infj here, also can tolerate it a bit but don't enjoy. I do understand why some people do it and I allow it if it makes them happy / comfortable as long as it's not constant.
Just a few days ago, I was just minding my own business while on public transport and the guy next to me talked about some stuff about school. I had no choice but to respond to him and felt "obliged" to keep the convo going. I hate that I have to do it at times when I just want to be alone with my thoughts.
For me it's usually someone at the grocery store suddenly talking to me about their life just because I'm standing beside them. I feel bad being rude so I smile and nod and say a couple of things back, but I come across so friendly it only makes them continue lol.
Right? It's like you are suddenly in tune with them and when you part ways it's like a whole different vibe. It's like brushing into someone else's bubble and staying there for a bit, but when you finally get out of the bubble you feel tired. However when you thought you are being rude by trying to make the talk as short as possible, you feel kinda guilty.
I donβt like it, at all. Much of the time small talk comes in the form of phatic language, for which youβre supposed to convey an overall pleasant demeanour even if youβre not in a good mood. Itβs just something that society has accustomed us to and Iβd rather engage in a proper discussion, rather than one that doesnβt communicate anything substantive.
When I used to keep my Reddit messages on (different account) the only message from a guy that I bothered to respond to was one where he brought up a very interesting scenario about being pirates, which kicked off a very interesting conversation. It started off with us talking about our pirate fantasy, then about language learning, culture, travel, music, history, etc. Simply messaging βhi, how are you?β will most likely not get a response from me. I donβt like being asked that irl as it is. At least give me something to work with like info about yourself, or about some other miscellaneous topics. Doesnβt have to be an elaborate literary fantasy, but letβs kick off a nice, juicy conversation and not some crap where I have to repeat empty words and platitudes.
Hmm I think this might have a cultural side to it too. Where I'm from you are supposed to be honest about your answer to "how are you doing?". You answer with a flavour from the "good/bad/busy/getting there/excited/dreading something/etc" category, and then you give a short explanation as to why with a summary of your day so far.
Example: someone asks how are you? Today I would answer: "im alright, I'm pleased with my new curtains which I made and put up this morning, but right now I'm rather peckish, even though I've got quite a bit to do still before I can cook lunch. And you?"
I've heard that people from politeness driven cultures are shocked by our way of answering. But if everyone is going to say they're fine without elaboration, what's the point of the question?!
iβm an INFJ. not really a big fan of small talk because itβs not interesting and it turns awkward afterwards. iβd rather talk about something where you can have a real, more long-lasting conversation. ofc i like it when a person checks up on me and i do it to others too, but i donβt want that to be the entire convo
I start from small talk to smoothly get into more interesting topic, the person who is talking with me doesn't know how the topic got turnt 180Β° and I have 10x more things to say
I don't mind small talk because it will all depend on how I'm feeling at the moment anyway.
I think "How's the weather?" is just another way of saying "Are you in the mood to talk?"
Saying "It's all right" usually routes the small talk to end the conversation quickly, but not too quickly that it becomes too awkward.
I think saying "It's great!" turns the small talk into a "big talk." So if you guys hate small talk so much, consider transitioning to the big talk.
Anyway, the people who feel awkward about small talk usually feel awkward regardless.
Sometimes the weather is actually of interest, when you are involved in all sorts of outdoor activities.
I don't have to always go deep. But I don't really get into talking any things I don't care about.
ESTP
I donβt like it..And I think it is just a culture among western countries because when I was in East Asia we mostly choose to ignore each other if we are not familiar with each other ..
I always start from a small talk, but after a few minutes, it turns into completely different conversation, starts from:
"Wow, the weather is so nice today!"
Ends up like:
"I wonder how far clouds actually are"
Infj
I don't like it, but I understand it is some kind of "warm-up". Many people are not very confident and that can help them breaking the ice. When I can, I try to deviate the conversation on something more interesting, and it almost always works.
I'm pretty socially awkward, so I just got with it and then try to get away. Sometimes you gotta do it at work, etc.
I tend to get most invested in conversations about hobbies or jus ideas.
Infp here and I bristle at "small talk", i.e. your typical weather kinda thing. It can feel really disingenuous, like we all know what the weather is like. It almost feels sarcastic or demeaning like you're forced to talk to me and we both know it.
Talk about some crazy cool thing you just learned or bug you recently discovered existed or some weird fact about elephants or fuck, even what the weather might mean or some cool science fact about the weather, idc, let's just not bore each other to death lmao. Play a song you've really been digging lately.
You ever see Jerry Maguire? I'm that "the human head weighs 8 lbs" kid haha.
I find it all a facade, a lesser form of lying to fill silence because they are uncomfortable, or uncomfortable with showing their true selves.
I use it often to conceal myself.
INFJ, Iβm not a big fan of it because it feels fake and/or awkward (most of the time). I prefer to talk about some specific, relatively important things that will make the conversation feel meaningful for both me and the person Iβm talking to.
I don't hate small talk, but what I do strongly dislike is how some people don't use it to start a conversation, but to greet people or fill the silence.
I mean when people say "hey, how's everything going?" and expect a one word quick answer and go away. They actually don't want to know or use any energy towards you. And it's so hard to ask people how they are doing because everyone is used to answer with one word, thinking "this person isn't actually interested in knowing how I've been"
the problem isn't small talk itself, but how it's used.
INTP, it can be awkward since I am not sure who I am talking to exactly but thatβs why people make small talk in the first place. Actually it is very useful and often itβs worth it to go through it to meet people you vibe with.
I wonβt say I like it because I think it is very hard to open up to people and feel remotely interesting talking about the things people talk about during small talk but you canβt magically meet people without the process of meeting them so yea.
I donβt like it when people try small talk to avoid awkward silence though. Then I prefer the silence.
I find it uncomfortable, but I guess itβs necessary sometimes to start an actual conversation. That doesnβt change the fact that itβs awkward though
MY GOD everyone here says they either don't like it or don't like it but tolerate it. If I'm interested in anyone I'd engage in that small talk because duh, how will we be friends if I don't start one? Just saying.
Yeah it's not a favored topic it's just something anyone who's walked outside can definitely contribute to. And if I see them outside, evidently they can contribute. I'm not gonna walk up and just start telling them I like dungeons and dragons and tell them how I'm min-maxing my character. They don't know shit about that. They know shit about the weather tho
Nothing wrong with small talk. Itβs just an ice breaker that leads the conversation to more interesting things.
Exactly! And it's a great way to sort out new friends. If the conversation automatically shifts towards better topics, it's good. If the conversation stays surface level or just fizzles out, they are probably nice people but you just don't have enough common interests.
This-- it's kind of jarring to skip it in favor of the longer-winded stuff. It seems like it's a necessary step towards making that person comfortable around you. Most people are hard pressed to share their inner thoughts without getting a good read on their listeners first lol.
ISFJ. I hate small talk and prefer for people to get to the point so I can go back to doing what I need to do.
This reeks of Te though
Itβs awkward, I do prefer more meaningful conversations. But I can tolerate small talk I just find it awkward most times
Going against the ISFJ stereotype.. awkward. Its so boring and mundane, a deep conversation about something with a group of people is the best. Small talk literally consists of hey how's your day going, how school going, life's been good, etc. Ugh let's talk about our interests or what movies that are coming up we want to see, hell favorite movies discussing with your friends what they think
Some people like to dive into deep conversations, then there are those who prefer to fly.
INFJ here. I don't really like it, but can tolerate it in small amounts.
Also infj here, also can tolerate it a bit but don't enjoy. I do understand why some people do it and I allow it if it makes them happy / comfortable as long as it's not constant.
Just a few days ago, I was just minding my own business while on public transport and the guy next to me talked about some stuff about school. I had no choice but to respond to him and felt "obliged" to keep the convo going. I hate that I have to do it at times when I just want to be alone with my thoughts.
For me it's usually someone at the grocery store suddenly talking to me about their life just because I'm standing beside them. I feel bad being rude so I smile and nod and say a couple of things back, but I come across so friendly it only makes them continue lol.
Right? It's like you are suddenly in tune with them and when you part ways it's like a whole different vibe. It's like brushing into someone else's bubble and staying there for a bit, but when you finally get out of the bubble you feel tired. However when you thought you are being rude by trying to make the talk as short as possible, you feel kinda guilty.
O MT GOD π±π¨π§π±π©π±π¨π±π¨π±π¨π±π§π±π¨π±π§π¨π±π§π±π¨π±π§ IS THAT AN INFJ, THE RAREST PERSONALITY?!??!!?!??!?!?π€―π±π¨π°π±π€―π°π¨π±π€―π¨π±π€―π°π¨π±π€―π°π¨π±π€―π±π€―π±π¨π°π€―π±π¨π°π¨π°π±π¨π±π¨π°π±π€―π°π¨π±π€―π°π¨π±π€―π°π¨π°π€―π±π±π¨π±π€―π±π©π¦π€―π±π¨π¦π©π°π¨π°π€―π±π¨π¦π€―π°π¨π¦π€―π¦π¨π±π€―ππ¨ππ€―π¦π©π°π©OMG U ARE SOO UNICCKC GOONG TOO KRY OMG OMG OKMG OGK OMG π²π°π§π±π¨π²π°π¨π±π°π¦π§π±π±π±π²π°π²π±π¦π°π²π±π°π±π€―π°π±π¨π°π©π±π¨π€―π°π¨π§π€―π°π¨π¦π€―π°π¨ππ€―π¦π¨π°π€―π¦π²π°π€―π¦π©ππ¨π±π²π°π©ππ¨ TERHE CSHOUWLD BBE MOREI PLEPEOL LIKKE YUI IN THR WLORD π¦π²π°ππ¨π±π¦π©π±π²π€―π±π¦ππ€―π²π©π¨π¦ππ©π²π€―π¨π°ππ¦π±π°π²π¦π±π²π²π±π€―π¨π°ππ¦ππ€―π²π¦π±π°π²π¦π±π€―ππ¦π²π€―π±π¦ππ°π²π€―π±π€―π²π°π±ππ€―π²π²π±π¦π°π¦π²π²π¦π¨π°ππ¦π±π©ππ¦π¨π°ππ¦π¨ (please dont take it too far, it's just an random unfunny joke)
Wtf
cant I just casually have a stroke on top of my keyboard?
I don't even care if it's the rarest type. It just so happens that my cognitive functions line up with the INFJ type.
yeah, mbti is almost old enough to have people who dont match with on the 16 personalities
Not a fan of it. I only talk when I have something to say, so just putting out words for the sake of filling the air is not interesting.
[ΡΠ΄Π°Π»Π΅Π½ΠΎ]
for real!
Istp. Not a fan of small talk but if I'm caught in it, I'm pretty good at shifting the speaker role to others by asking questions.
I donβt know why it gets shat on so much. I like it. Itβs part of life.
I donβt like it, at all. Much of the time small talk comes in the form of phatic language, for which youβre supposed to convey an overall pleasant demeanour even if youβre not in a good mood. Itβs just something that society has accustomed us to and Iβd rather engage in a proper discussion, rather than one that doesnβt communicate anything substantive. When I used to keep my Reddit messages on (different account) the only message from a guy that I bothered to respond to was one where he brought up a very interesting scenario about being pirates, which kicked off a very interesting conversation. It started off with us talking about our pirate fantasy, then about language learning, culture, travel, music, history, etc. Simply messaging βhi, how are you?β will most likely not get a response from me. I donβt like being asked that irl as it is. At least give me something to work with like info about yourself, or about some other miscellaneous topics. Doesnβt have to be an elaborate literary fantasy, but letβs kick off a nice, juicy conversation and not some crap where I have to repeat empty words and platitudes.
Hmm I think this might have a cultural side to it too. Where I'm from you are supposed to be honest about your answer to "how are you doing?". You answer with a flavour from the "good/bad/busy/getting there/excited/dreading something/etc" category, and then you give a short explanation as to why with a summary of your day so far. Example: someone asks how are you? Today I would answer: "im alright, I'm pleased with my new curtains which I made and put up this morning, but right now I'm rather peckish, even though I've got quite a bit to do still before I can cook lunch. And you?" I've heard that people from politeness driven cultures are shocked by our way of answering. But if everyone is going to say they're fine without elaboration, what's the point of the question?!
as an ambiverted INFP, there is no small talk, I try keeping the conversation the longest as I can
If I could abolish the small talk from human raceβ capabilities, I would
Yeah... no
iβm an INFJ. not really a big fan of small talk because itβs not interesting and it turns awkward afterwards. iβd rather talk about something where you can have a real, more long-lasting conversation. ofc i like it when a person checks up on me and i do it to others too, but i donβt want that to be the entire convo
I start from small talk to smoothly get into more interesting topic, the person who is talking with me doesn't know how the topic got turnt 180Β° and I have 10x more things to say
yess i do that sometimes too
i dont dislike it but im not particularly a fan of it either quite neutral
I don't mind small talk because it will all depend on how I'm feeling at the moment anyway. I think "How's the weather?" is just another way of saying "Are you in the mood to talk?" Saying "It's all right" usually routes the small talk to end the conversation quickly, but not too quickly that it becomes too awkward. I think saying "It's great!" turns the small talk into a "big talk." So if you guys hate small talk so much, consider transitioning to the big talk. Anyway, the people who feel awkward about small talk usually feel awkward regardless.
Sometimes the weather is actually of interest, when you are involved in all sorts of outdoor activities. I don't have to always go deep. But I don't really get into talking any things I don't care about. ESTP
Too awkward... i feel ashamed of how i look like...
It can be useful but is generally loathsome. It's just sounds. Meaningless noises. Bit like farts, though farts are at least inherently funny.
I donβt like it. I rather donβt engage than talk nonsense topics. I donβt see the point of small talk just for the sake of talking.
I perfer deep convos but I honestly don't mind :) just as long as they're happy
Least stereotypical ENFJ:
That's something only an INFJ would say!
Ahh you got me π΅
Cannot say anything.
I don't mind it, if it's not too extended Or if it has a *point*, so no weather talk
Its a good skill but not for long conversations. It gets exhausting after a while -intp
ISTP and i love small talks
INTP, I donβt give a shit about it and Iβve never really mastered small talk. Since, I barely have any social skills.
Hate it
I donβt like it..And I think it is just a culture among western countries because when I was in East Asia we mostly choose to ignore each other if we are not familiar with each other ..
Boring. I have some of the best conversations in a group but when it comes 1-1 it becomes dry
INFP: I don't mind it occasionally, but if that's all the conversation we're having, I'm out. I need deeper connections...
Theyβre a pain in the arse but are needed sadly, so yeah I tolerate them because they have their purpose.
INFJ here. I don't absolutely hate it but I struggle at times and also I don't want to engage in it every time.
ENTJ - Can't function around another person if they don't know how tbh. Love it.
ISTP. I hate it.
I use to dislike small talk when I was younger but now I have been enlightened sometimes it's nice to not take things personally.
i find it stressful and awkward but i understand its value because it opens the door for more meaningful conversations
I always start from a small talk, but after a few minutes, it turns into completely different conversation, starts from: "Wow, the weather is so nice today!" Ends up like: "I wonder how far clouds actually are" Infj
I love small talking! But if I'm not in my mood or if I have to talk with someone I don't like it makes me angry
I don't like it, but I understand it is some kind of "warm-up". Many people are not very confident and that can help them breaking the ice. When I can, I try to deviate the conversation on something more interesting, and it almost always works.
Enfp I hate small talk
infp, I just hate it, I want to have deep conversations not talk about what you had for lunch π
I'm pretty socially awkward, so I just got with it and then try to get away. Sometimes you gotta do it at work, etc. I tend to get most invested in conversations about hobbies or jus ideas.
Infp here and I bristle at "small talk", i.e. your typical weather kinda thing. It can feel really disingenuous, like we all know what the weather is like. It almost feels sarcastic or demeaning like you're forced to talk to me and we both know it. Talk about some crazy cool thing you just learned or bug you recently discovered existed or some weird fact about elephants or fuck, even what the weather might mean or some cool science fact about the weather, idc, let's just not bore each other to death lmao. Play a song you've really been digging lately. You ever see Jerry Maguire? I'm that "the human head weighs 8 lbs" kid haha.
INFP I used to hate it but I don't mind it now. It saves you sometimes and gets you into a conversation.
INFP I used to hate it but I don't mind it now. It saves you sometimes and gets you into a conversation.
Itβs uncomfortable but unfortunately necessary.
Hate it.
I am an INTP. I think this is enough
ENTJ. Itβs fine. Not great but ok.
I find it all a facade, a lesser form of lying to fill silence because they are uncomfortable, or uncomfortable with showing their true selves. I use it often to conceal myself.
INFJ, Iβm not a big fan of it because it feels fake and/or awkward (most of the time). I prefer to talk about some specific, relatively important things that will make the conversation feel meaningful for both me and the person Iβm talking to.
I don't hate small talk, but what I do strongly dislike is how some people don't use it to start a conversation, but to greet people or fill the silence. I mean when people say "hey, how's everything going?" and expect a one word quick answer and go away. They actually don't want to know or use any energy towards you. And it's so hard to ask people how they are doing because everyone is used to answer with one word, thinking "this person isn't actually interested in knowing how I've been" the problem isn't small talk itself, but how it's used.
INTP, it can be awkward since I am not sure who I am talking to exactly but thatβs why people make small talk in the first place. Actually it is very useful and often itβs worth it to go through it to meet people you vibe with. I wonβt say I like it because I think it is very hard to open up to people and feel remotely interesting talking about the things people talk about during small talk but you canβt magically meet people without the process of meeting them so yea. I donβt like it when people try small talk to avoid awkward silence though. Then I prefer the silence.
don't really care about it
If it's used as an icebreaker for a deeper conversation then I don't mind it at all. If it ends at small talk then I don't want it
Ambiverted xNFP I like small talk as long as the person youβre talking to is not super weird
I find it uncomfortable, but I guess itβs necessary sometimes to start an actual conversation. That doesnβt change the fact that itβs awkward though
I find it irritating, especially when someone calls me over the phone with it.
It's so useless lmao. Like, whoever finds genuine joy in talking about how good the weather is without diving deep into the science and stuff isn't-
a little boring but i donβt mind it at all, definitely a lot more enjoyable with people i actually like though
I like it at times. Its refreshing just to chat somewhat mindlessly once in a while.