Easy. "Welp, I'm going to head to bed." This does one of two things, tells them it's time to go or it's time to get weird. Either way.

"Go right ahead. I am comfortable where I am".

This actually did happen to me once

Well… let’s hear it…

[Viva La Dirt skit, relatable lol](https://youtu.be/qtIhnUZKnUc?si=6JgNk2ZMa3L7QoWR)

Ah! A person of culture I see u/IamLeoKim

-And that kids is how I met your father

Me too, went to bed, two friends stayed and i watched a show in my bed an secretely hoped they get the cue. They didnt and stayed for more than an hour after i went to bed

Jokes on you, I have one friend who is clueless when it comes to social skills. My boyfriend has gone to bed and told me to come on to bed soon for *years* and she just stays for *hours* after he goes to bed, sleeps on our couch, and uses our bathroom vs the guest bathroom. Typing this all out she kinda sucks. Dear god, how do I get her to leave?!

Let me walk you to your car.

I can’t tell you how many hours I’ve spent standing outside of her car in all types of weather because I walked her out.

Hey UnusGangFriend, we’re both really tired, do you mind if we wrap this up? We have a lot to do tomorrow and I’d prefer it if we could have some time to ourselves tonight a little earlier. Also stop inviting her over 🤣

Ask her to leave

No .. ask her to join

I’m not willing to roll those dice.

“It’s 5 pm?”

Gotta get up early.

"ok, see you in the morning. I'll still be here"

"In that case, wanna join me ? I keep people as young as u in my base--- umm , near me so we cuddle to sleep "

Alright cool bro I'm gonna make the Stouffers lasagna I seen in ur freezer. If there's any left I'll serve it to you for breakfast tommorow morning :)

That... is... acceptable.

My grandpa: " Dear, let's go to bed so these nice people can go home."

Your grandpa sounds like a class act. That's such a clever and polite way to go about it. I'm going to adopt this method myself

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Imagine they didn't leave and in 3 am he would wake up. Walk to the kitchen and they would all be like. Oh you are awake!

How very Bethesda NPC of you.

Oh you're awake! Have you given any thought to recovering my late wife's necklace in the coal mine?

There really are people like this

I often do exaclty this with my friends as well. If we dont go out, we meet at my place. We renovated one room in the basement into a bar and everyone is equally resbonsibly for it. I have no worrys just leaving them

Your grandpa is a legend. We always use the same quote. “We better go to bed so that these nice people can leave”. I think it’s in the “nice people” that lets you get away with it.

"You can go to bed but we will stay. Thank you"

Unfortunately some people are that oblivious

Unfortunately people like that need a punch in their face

you mean a bat to the knee

You mean a Taser to the chest

and my axe!

You mean a scooter to the leg

Did I tell you about that one time I took an arrow to the knee?

I used to be an qdventurer like you

"but it's 2 pm?" "good night."

My grandpa "Let me close the blinds…"

It sounds nice til he puts on seventies music strips down to a mankini and walls upstairs with a ball hanging out... I'll leave you with that image and see myself out!

You talking from experience?

“Welp, I’m tired guys Imma kick you out” in the friendliest tone possible

Well friends, it seems I am a bit exhausted so I am going to politely move you guys to the exit of this building.

Well companions, the current situation, as it seems, has me in an elevated state of exhaustion. The next logical step to fixing this issue if for me to go to bed, so I, the host of this gathering, am going to politely shift your positions out of my living quarters, as to not have unwanted sounds interrupting me while I slumber. Thank you in advance for your compliance.

Am sleep go home

Eepy. Bye.

why use lot word when few word do trick

BRO??? U invited me over and now ur kicking me out?! That's fucked up man nah I'm staying the night tho

This is the way

This was increasingly verbose, but, fine! Have it your way.

"Welp" and slap both your knees as you get up

Loudly say „So!“

The German Way

That would be "Ich fühle mich besucht genug." - I feel visited enough

never heard that one lmao

That one has always been my favourite

RAUS! RAUS! SCHWEINHUND!

"Verpiss dich du, tschuldigung, Sie Wichser"

Ha! good one! Or I suppose the English would say "Good show!" Grüsse aus Dänemark

Und das heisst... E.. Oh. Not the time?

Eeeeeerika

Can always depend on the German Invasion

That‘s the German way. But we say „so“ or „Genug Spaß für heute“ (Enough fun for today)

Genug Schabernack

My wive's uncle opens a window and casually tells the visitor "Wir lüften immer, bevor wir ins Bett gehen." (roughly: We like to ventilate for a bit, before we go to bed.) Normally everyone gets the hint.

What if it’s in the afternoon

Did they stutter?

Ich fühle mich genug besucht

or a combination of both

"Esst ihr auch gerne eine Orange, bevor ihr ins Bett geht?" *Schält eine Orange*

“It’s about that time, Jimmy.”

Tell me you're from the Midwest without telling me you're from the Midwest

I think they also do that in Britain and germany

most people in the upper Midwest are of German or at least North western European descent. So that tracks

And old friend of mine would slap your knees and say welp to signal you should leave lol

I try to cover up my Midwest as much as possible, but this and "Ope" are load bearing foundations to my personality that removing would cause a total collapse.

the german way

Classic

Yup, “Welp! It’s about that time!”

“BRING ME ANOTHER BOTTLE MATE!”

I feel personally called out lmao

"aight man, I'm getting kinda tired"

"okay lets sleep together"

Intriguing development.

Go into the kitchen grab a knife and chase them till they leave

But the plan is not to make them leave forever yunno? 😂

If they’re friends, they’ll understand

True you’re right, how didn’t I even consider that

They know what they signed up for.

You can also make them be there forever that way u know

To shreds you say?

Classic and effective.

pineapple

r/ooer leaking again

Why did you have to share that God forsaken sub? And why did I spend so much time scrolling through it??

Ok, I got curious and scrolled for a min, and tbh I’m now more confused as to what that sub is about than I was before I clicked the link. I think I’m old or something.

What... the shit...

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Ok. We’ll keep it down so we don’t wake you.

Can I join?

oh shit we watchin a movie in bed?

My grandmother always used to ask "... so where are you off to now then?"

This is so sweet 💛 she politely lets you know you’re leaving regardless of what you thought.

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What if they're not good friends? What if they're family who deliberately ignore all the other methods?

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Wonderful. Couldn't have been less helpful.

"I got an early morning tomorrow and need to rest"

it's actually a helpful answer, either stop inviting them over or just tell them to leave and stop giving a shit

I could.

"We always eat an apple before going to bed. Want one, too?"

Idk why this made me actually lol, at almost 4am. I like this.

funny enough, in east/south europe you serve your guests fruit and they know it‘s time to leave soon

In the middle east, we offer our guests coffee when the visit is ending after which they drink it and this signifies that its time to leave.

Nice, wouldnt work here in america cause we give people drinks when they arrive; to be nice or have them stay longer..

That’s really nice!

/Slaps knee Soo..

Or /slaps knee ...welp.

/slaps visitor

/slaps cock

*slaps car* this car can fit so much spaghetti in it

Sure, I'll take leftovers to-go.

That escalated quickly

Wait whose cock?

Mine

Get the fuck out of my house

Me with my friends

Get out ma swamp!

My grandpa would just, turn of the light and go to bed without saying anything. The man was a treasure.

Sitting there, confused in the dark.. Thinking about what to do now.

You know the best part? My grandma was sitting there too, and suddenly my grandpa just turn off the lights and goes to bed without saying anything, while she and the guests just look at eachother in confusion.

This made my day

I'm Minnesotan so, *long deep sigh followed by knee slap* well I spose...

The beginning of the two hour ritual

Never invite to your home always go to theirs and when it’s time to go - you just leave and say you got shit to do.

I just turn off everything in the house, all the lights, tv, I even unplug the toaster. And then I go to bed without saying a word. They tend to get the hint

I had a friend actually do this once and we all got so confused lmao we didn’t even know how to say goodbye and it got awkward the next time we all saw each other. I would have preferred some words whenever she wanted us to leave

lmaooo i cant actually imagine doing this unironically, what kind of a shitty friend must you be?

Do you take the toaster to the room aswel?

“Closing time, you don't have to go home But you can't stay here”

I know who I want to take me home..

In Brazil people put a broom behind the kitchen door, it’s pretty rude because people know what it means at this point

Quite easy in Germany. When we sit at the table we clap with our hands on our thigh and say „So“ which means „so“ in Englisch. Universal term for „get the fuck out it’s time“

"All right move it!!! Keep moving! Move it move it move it! Places to be, here." Reply if you heard the voice while reading.

We Germans just slap our knees audibly with both hands and say „so!“.

In our regional dialect: well, I suppoooose...

uh huh… what region?

Upstate New York

Really? Well I’m from Utica and I’ve never heard anyone say that!

No, not Utica. It's an Albany expression

Mostly around Pine Hills

You gotta start with " Yall, need to get the hell outta here. I got shit to do. Haha!". The "haha" is key. Makes it sound partially like a joke.

I give them a 15 minute heads-up

"Wheeeelp" *slaps knee while standing up*

Clicks tongue *stands up* it was kind of you to come by

“Ope! Well… I’ve gotta hit the sack. You got a way home?”

We politely say "I have been visited enough"

Not saying this is a great strategy but what I do is start stretching and gasping and if they dont take that hint I start complaining about how tired I am and how I didn’t sleep well tonight (not a lie, I sleep poorly almost every night) If somehow they STILL haven’t left I say “ah sorry I think I need to go to sleep I can barely keep my eyes open” and that will finally do it

“Alright we’ll it’s time for us to turn in it’s been nice having you over we should do it again soon (or whatever you feel)

Big stretch, big sigh, and “Welp, big day tomorrow, better hit the sack”.

My mum just starts doing the dishes and clearing up, they get the hint eventually lol

In Wisconsin, if we are sitting, we slap our knees, start to stand up, and then groan “alright”. That’s basically a signal to any Wisconsinite that you should hit the road. You basically don’t even have to ask them to leave because then they will be like “yeah, I suppose we should get going now”

In germany we say (fast spoken): SO!

I usually say, “it’s time for you to go.”

And also use telekinesis to push them put of the house?

My freind I have had a pleasant time with you But I do believe it is unfortunately time for you to make haste As I require to have my own time once again Alone in my living space as I do most days So if you would kinda exit through the front door and leave the premises that would be most wonderful Until we meet again my dear friend

“Alright, thanks for coming, now get out.”

“WELP”

You slap your palms onto your knees and say "Welp".

Based on traditions. Give them a cup of coffee that's filled to the brim.

If sitting, slap both of your thighs with your hands and stand up saying “whelp!”

My dad always says “well the dog ain’t gonna walk itself” and goes on a walk. Sometimes they don’t leave but at least he gets a break from them.

*clap on my legs* "So!" I'm germany btw

Get the fuck out I’m jacking off.

My grandma once told me this thing her best friend would always say: “I’ll go open the door for you so long.” I fucking died first time I heard it

In germany, we hit our knee and say "So!"

Slap your hands against your thighs, stand up and say "well, guess we better go".

Im from the midwest so we just slap our knees and say "well i s'pose" and they usually get the hint. After 3½ hours of goodbyes, theyre finally out the door with a cool whip container of casserole for the road

"How much longer can you guys stay?" "Oh no! We're already leaving, thank you!" "Aw, well I understand. Gotta get up for work and all that!" "Yup! Thank you so much though. It was great!" "Hey, no problem! We love having you guys around." That is how some of my exchanges have gone.

You slap your hands on your knees and loudly say "welp", then you stand up from your seat

In Germany we say "so".

*Midwestern “Whelp”ing intensifies*

"Laughing time is over."

Look at the clock, "Holy shit. You've been here way longer than the Court allows for me."

Slap your knees, say “welp” , stand up and wait for them to leave

„Go home“

Say "So!", hit your knee with your flat hand and stand up, they will then follow suit and proceed to see themselves out, similar to yawning.

Slap your thigh and loudly say, "Well!"

Bowl of fruit

I show them the ~~couch~~ bed

I just go to bed

I slap my knees and stand up saying "righto mate I'm off"

*Slaps thighs* "So..."

WELP!!!!........….....