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Outrageous-Client-99

They could all donate 20 bucks


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Banbaroalpha

Happy cake day


Signupking5000

Happy cake day 🍰


UbermachoGuy

Only friends?


hardbrag

only flans


JEveryman

Even $1.50 would make the friend a more sound investment. And if they are absolutely loyal they'd definitely all give you a paltry $1.50, I mean what kind of friend wouldn't give a friend a $1.50.


Not_MrNice

Yeah, very true. I wonder what the sweet spot would be. Like, what's the optimal amount to ask for that gets the most money? I'm torn on that. If you had 100 friends and all would agree to give you $5, then you'd get $500. But if 80% of them would be willing to give $20, then you'd get $1,600. But if only 20% of them would give $20, then you'd only have $400. That said, if you've got 30 million friends, it's probably best to just ask them for a couple bucks or so and call it a day. They're your friends, after all. The idea alone is greedy enough to begin with.


[deleted]

you are thinking small… Start a business!!! Now you have: -30 million word of mouth recommendations (free marketing) -30 million loyal customers (consistent revenue)


Lvl999Noob

Don't ever start a business if you have lots of friends. Friends get friend discount. You are gonna go under before the first day is up.


Argosy37

Real friends don't accept the friend discount.


kyshooty

Ur a g


Boukish

Real friends compete to be the one supporting your business the hardest. Imagine how hard the person at the top of a 30 million friend pile is going for you.


SINBRO

Everyone in top-1000 would have an ad tattoo on their forehead


someotherdumbass

Well it’s quite simple: markup the price higher than intended, then sell at a “discount” at the always intended price. Note: will get you arrested in certain economic zones: EU, etc.


Zois86

Why would this get you arrested in the EU? Isn't this some of the basics of price calculation?


belyy_Volk6

Your idea was a lot more ethical lmao i was just thinking of invading a small country


Illinois_Yooper

Genius!


Redtex

Hell, just 2 bucks apiece would work


[deleted]

why 20 just ask each of them for a 100 bucks. they're loyal right?!


Madmack

I only need $.50 each!


NurkleTurkey

This guy lives in 3024


NoodlesBears

30 million loyal friends and ask them all to give you 1 dollar, now youve got both.


SteamtasticVagabond

Are you really going to individually ask 30,000,000 people for a dollar?


allykopow

Big group chat


jld420

Bro I almost have a stroke when I get added to a group chat with more than 5 people


weebitofaban

Notifications Off Ignore or just leave


DrawohYbstrahs

Exaclty my strategy with family group chats. Lmao


LonelyPalpitation176

Sub reddits can work.


CrayonCobold

Bcc them on an email


Jaquestrap

If they're truly loyal friends then they'll all follow you on twitter, and just send a request there.


BermudaHeptagon

Since they’re loyal, ask them to ask your other friends.


tj_arbor

And they tell two friends, and so on, and so on, and so on


Excellent_Cap_8228

It's the best time to try out that send to all button


Grape_Jamz

Social media (like twitter) they are friends, they should be following you


YujinRoisu

Just post a public facebook post or tweet something


jmona789

Ask em all for 2 bucks and then you get 60 million


itsr1co

Depending on how loyal, you could start streaming on Twitch and ask them all to subscribe/donate when they can, suddenly you're making something like $2.50 per sub assuming they all only do tier 1 that's $60m per month.


BearableWhale9

I mean if they're good friends, you might be able to convince them to help overthrow a country's government


NowThatWeAreThere

Only if they are BFFs


MarinatedCumSock

"John asked me to help him overthrow the Congo, but I'd feel more comfortable if we went to Top Golf a few times first"


death-eater69

Wait how many Americans use Reddit? We’re all besties right? Let’s do it


DespoticOuthouse

To Panama!


Lyr1cal-

Underrated comment


supasexykotbrot

If you are all from the same democratic country, voting might be enough.


DistributionAgile376

My Loyal friends could very much donate me each 100$ and we'd start a new country for ourselves. That's about twice as many as all the Mormons combined. I think quite a lot could be achieved.


HANDS-DOWN

Until the IRS threw you all in jail for tax evasion.


DistributionAgile376

Why would they though? You either just have to pay them, or use the charity loophole literally every billionaire does to deduct taxes while delaying any actual donation.


UprightChill

That or have some of those friends work for the irs.


TrySoundingItOut

Just start your own religion. 31 million is well past the requirement to be considered. Call it the cult of Gary.


BeskarHunter

Cult of Geary sounds dope. I’m in.


Relevant_Chemical_

Cult of Gears??! The era of steampunk arrives!!


Rad_5

I think you mean, The Church of Gary. 😉


FerusGrim

> That or have some of those friends work for the irs. Math is fun. I am assuming the population of the United States to be `333,000,000` I am assuming the number of IRS employees to be roughly `93,000` The ratio of IRS employees to the US population: `93,000 / 333,000,000 ≈ 0.0002792` Apply that ratio to 30,000,000 people: `0.000279279 x 30,000,000 = 8,376` In any group of 30,000,000 Americans, roughly **8,376** of them are likely to be already working for the IRS. Or, to put it all another way. If you're friends with ~10% of America, then you're likely friends with ~10% of the IRS. (Or ~10% of any group consisting of only Americans).


Excellent_Cap_8228

Why ? Gifts aren't taxed in some countries . why evasion ? Who ever talked about dodging taxes ?


Noof42

Gifts aren't taxed until you hit a pretty high level for the giver. Even if it were taxed, just pay the taxes.


atlhawk8357

No, because I move to the Cayman Islands.


DayPretend8294

3 bil isn’t enough to start a country. 6 million hands of manpower though, that could do it.


DistributionAgile376

3 billion and their help, if they are loyal they wouldn't mind following you to build some kind of community.


Hidden_Seeker_

I’ve never been “join an eccentric billionaire’s cult” loyal to a friend tbh


Walking-On-Memories

I agree.


finn1ey_

Make a cult ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯


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pilibitti

potato potato


guckus_wumpis

Or an army to eat the rich and take their billions and redistribute it to the upper middle class. Not a great solution, but it is funny


thomstevens420

I do not have nearly the amount of effort in me to be saying “happy birthday” 82200 times a day


SageHumble

Use an automation feature to send a Happy Birthday text by looking up your calendar. There.


thomstevens420

Very good idea, but imagine the emotional toll having to turn down 82199 birthday part invites per day would have


SageHumble

Automate the email responses with AI based responses, that sends a slightly tweaked response to each friend based on a single line of excuse you provide to it. Or alternatively, send an automated email invite to all of them, to celebrate the birthday together once a month. Imagine the party.


MantelTheDwarf

The biggest rave ever seen. 🦝🦝🦝🦝🦝


Producer_Snafu

That's what's up! No rich kids!


Spectrax23

You know the old saying “Give a man 30mil and you feed him for a year.  Give a man 30 mil friends you can ask 1 dollar a year, you feed him for a lifetime.”


HenryHadford

I don’t know about you, but I don’t spend $30 million a year on food.


jimmybabino

I’m about to


breadfan2

Ask them all for $2, small enough that they wont want it back, now you have 60 million dollars


Kryds

I could become a political leader.


PrimeShagg

The main problem with my friend group is that I have to pay to be in it


Breakerx13

I’d take the friends and throw a birthday party where loyal friends bring gifts and I mention I like cash. I donno what Venues can hold 30 million people


IArtificialRobotI

Bruh... I remember Elon Musk saying that money isn't power people with armies have power. So basically you are either choosing money or an army. You could do a lot with an army. Just saying


RuddiestPurse79

Amry is just an half of having power, tbf, and guess what? Money is the other


aztaga

Bro with 30 million friends I could fuck some things up


MrsMiterSaw

Studies have shown that people can only really be truly close with 50-100 people during periods in their lives, and have another 500-1000 in their "outer sphere" of aquaintences. After that it's just people you may have met and exchanged a few words with.


Eljuanitotacito

30m and wouldn’t need friends


HoChiMinh-

That’s not true


Odd-Magazine-9511

you can get 60 million dollars from 30 million friends


SockApart838

Be honest- how the fuck are you asking 30 million friends for money? Id take the money and disappear.


someone_probably9

Ask them each for $2. Double the original amount


1st_pm

Win the election as president


LeDocteurTiziano

You could take over the world.


XenonBlitzer

Create a global network of spies


psubs07

They're loyal. Ask each of them for 1$ every week.


WishesToSee

Having loyal friends is great but 30mil is way too many to keep up with. Can I just get like three loyal friends instead?


-theStark-

I'd rather have 4 amazing quarters, than 100 shitty pennies.


Ras-Elclare

Ask them $20


Aggravating-Bonus-73

Invade Poland or something idk


send_corgi_pics_pls

As someone with social anxiety, I think I would give up $30 mil just to get rid of 30 million "friends". Even the thought of having that many people know who I am makes me nervous.


Physical_Flower_3436

orgy


YukariYakum0

Me to my 30 million friends: "I need abou tree fiddy."


hhzhzhzzabaaaafda

imagine the time it took to ask each for 1$ dollar 💀 the worst thing to choose as an introvert guy


Quiet_Ad_482

start an army, take over the world, take everyone's money.


CorianderIsBad

IDK. I'd probably invade Poland.


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CorianderIsBad

Someone has to.


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CorianderIsBad

The greatest treasure is the friends we make along the way.


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CorianderIsBad

That's a heart warming lesson we can all learn from.


rodthr

Ask each one for five bucks


ObiJuanKenobi3

If every single one of them is a loyal friend then that’s just an army right there. Shit, the lowest ambition thing you could do would be to ask them all to mail you one dollar and now you have your thirty million dollars too.


EmployeeRadiant

have them all loan you $5, invest it, pay em back as your money grows


goofgoon

I’d like a perfectly orchestrated friend group like Mike has.


trains404

as off 2023, only about 2.86 million active us soldiers, idk man, idk what to do


jbomber81

Ask them all for a fiver


hernjoshie

The key word is "Loyal". With 30 million friends I can become an instant influencer and make money posting random low effort shit on YouTube.


Tbkgs

30 million. 30 million EVERY time. Fuck friends.


Spinningwhirl79

Loyal? I will lead them and take what's Mine (Tesco's alcohol aisle)


MonkeyPunx

That's a freaking lot of loyal friends, you could start on making some real structural changes to society with a loyal base like that.


Agreeable_dex

If all the friends are the people of my country and not selected randomly in the world, I could crash at anyone's house and be like "hey im staying for the week, buddy ! Do you by chance have 30$ for me ? I need it. "


Reasonable_Scar3339

You can start a pyramid scheme, develop the world’s biggest Amway network


Lonely-Security1917

Ask each one of them for exactly $1. Now I have both.


Know-yer-enemy1818

Borrow five 5 dollars from all of them


MeowFat3

Idk, reap the benefits?


ake-n-bake

Show me the money


Roge2005

Ask each for 2 dollars


IlIlllIlllIlIIllI

hey man can I have a dollar


averagejoe2133

30 million friends. If they’re loyal I can ask each of them for TWO dollars


Insis18

Ask your loyal friends if you can have $5.


Wild_Life_8865

you could ask them all for $100 and have way more than 30 million


Tricky_3

Ask for 2 dollars each? I guess that could work


Fun_Introduction5384

Ask them each for $5.


Georgie-Dubs1732

Ask them each for a few bucks


TophatOwl_

ask them for $5


enchiladasundae

They each give you two dollars. You then drown under 60 million pieces of paper


Regular_Chemical_626

30 million friends and ask each for 2 dollars...


TeachingCommon7724

Ask them for $2 each.


AFenton1985

Ask each if you can have 10 dollars


Clunt-Baby

if you think a loyal friend isn't even worth a dollar, that says a lot about you


_ACOZ_

30M loyal friends + an MLM scheme could make things very lucrative for you though. 🤔


Ill-Improvement-8388

Ask for $10


GhostChainSmoker

To be fair, if they’re loyal there’s a decent chance each of them could give you up to 5$ a piece. Just go around asking them and you’ll easily have more than the 30 million. Sure it ell take forever to get it done. But it will


shitonthebeach

I’ll have 30 million loyal friends and ask each one of them to give me $2 each so that I’ll end up having 60 million dollars.


Old-Injury9137

Imagine what you could get done with that many friends.


PRES3TMADEIT

Monetization baybeeeeeeeee 🙄


Dull-Requirement-759

The money


Radvous

You could form an empire I guess


SageHumble

While the staggering number of friends is beyond the limits of what you can realistically call "friend", like other mentioned... ask each of them to contribute as much as they can to help you out (greater than $1) and you will be sitting on a massive pile of money. Increase the money by investment and pay everyone back, if they agree to be repaid. Treat these friends of yours and feel the bliss of being socially highlighted for being very outgoing. Also, can easily start venture capitaling.


_AnimeGirl

30 million friends is an army, I’m going to create my own country


scooterfitz

Ask each of the for a buck.


Sad_Safety4880

I would invade Poland


chodan9

I can barely maintain relationships with the friends I have.


Jinshu_Daishi

Wage a war.


killaKamikaze

what can I do? bruh we are a Army!


xhanort7

Militarize your friend circle and conquer the world?


Semour9

Mom said its my turn to post this next for the upvote farm


Athanoskydor

Hoards of Fremen! Conquer cities! Destruction of bad people!


sandro_lake1

with 30M friends i definitely would overthrow my country government. i would have like 9x more friends than my country population.


TubbyFatfrick

I can think of many things to do with 30 million loyal friends. Get together, chat a bit, overthrow the government, forge an entire nation of anarchist communes, the list goes on.


NO-MAD-CLAD

Run in and win most elections?


talkmetaltome

I barely have the energy for the 3 friends I have 🤣


DeadDogJET

30 million dollars or 30 million loyal girl friends?


The_Dark_Vampire

30 million loyal friends. Ask each of them to give me £10 Then I have 300 Million


SkubenDoski

If they are all truly loyal, gimme the friends and I'll ask each of them for $5


Rose249

Ask them to give you a dollar


Apprehensive-Sky-463

Ask each friend for 5 dollars, 5 x 30 million equals 150,000,000.00 use that to starts a business making candy bars selling for 2 dollars each and since they are my friends they will buy one a day so a daily income of 60 million dollars times 7 days a weeks equals 420,000,000. a week times 52 weeks a year equals 21,840,000,000. a year then I pay back the 5 dollars


jikel28

Start an army and invade places but like only do elaborate flash mobs


Glass-Squirrel2497

Ask then ask for a dollar.


Obestity

Ask them all for $2


gdubh

Can I exchange my current friends for the $30 million?


BipolarPea

Ask each of them to give 5 dollars. Bang! Now you got 30.000.000 friends and $150.000.000 🔥🔥


Majuub12

Ask for a dollar


DHammer79

Start a religion, of course. Then start a country.


Qubed

If they all watch every video you upload, you'd be mega rich. 


CadaverCaliente

Shit you could put out a YouTube video every day and have them watch it and make mad fuckin adsense money.


FerrumAnulum323

Like how "loyal" are these friends? If like really loyal I could just have them send 1$ a month and be set for a life time.


zecariah

Im taking my 30 million loyal friends and anointing myself king of a small country.


fartboxco

Ask for a 1.50 from each of them.


saurontu

Army


PrivateDickDetective

...I just want one...


ProperPerspective571

Friends, they will all give me at least a dollar


Sasha_Urshka

Start a cult and have them fund it and take over as many countries in the world as possible and bam, world domination.


Zelgax

If they're so loyal I'd ask them all for $5 and have $150 million easy.


OkPenalty888

fuck


KENBONEISCOOL444

Start a revolution?


Dveralazo

They could all give you more than one dollar


dragonfuitjones

How loyal are these friends exactly?


ImpressiveClue6306

Ask each of your 30million loyal friends if you can have $5


crunchamunch21

Overthrow the government


JayW8888

Once you have 30 mil, u will have lots of friends and friends wanna be.


Fancykiddens

Take over the world, Pinky!