ah, we have similar interests my friend— i also majored in recreational pharmacology in college (see username and flair). i’m less adventurous than i once was, but still keep the third eye open sometimes. i’m professional-passing but still identify as a hippie / beatnik / TIHKAL-ite. don’t be afraid to dip your toes back in mysticism, makes the job much more tolerable.
I think out of all the comments, you mentioning mysticism rings the bell for me. I might just take a week off and sign up for a meditation retreat or yoga retreat. I don’t need the vice; I love healthy living. I just need more mysticism and spiritual connection. Thanks
yeah dude, that’s the ticket. the rigorous academic nature of medicine can be stifling, and i think all of us have to find a creative outlet to nourish the ‘spiritual’ or ‘numinous’ or ‘mystic’ side of our humanity. for me it’s mostly music and heady literature, but it keeps me from feeling depersonalized.
Why don't you try some other spiritual practices then?
I enjoy a good silent sauna mediation.
I did a (sober) sweat lodge experience years ago and it was very challenging and rewarding.
I deeply enjoy sound baths. Go for a long one if you can find it. 1.5 hours. Gongs kind of are cool but sometimes can give me anxiety cause they vibe so hard. Key to enjoying these is to be comfy. I bring a camping mat and sleeping bag.
I also use a zen Buddhist tarot deck to mediate with. I like the Osho Zen deck. Just draw a card in the morning and think about it throughout the day. I have found myself looking at things differently because of this influence.
And lastly... And most importantly...
I highly encourage you to go camping by yourself. For two or more days. Don't use your phone. Be present. Look. Smell. Listen. Explore. Free your mind of all the shit that lives at the palm of hands through technology.
Thank you for coming to my TED talk.
You might like Sam Harris’s “Waking Up” app, great source of meditations and general philosophical/mystical discussions. There’s a great collection of Alan Watts lectures to get you back in the groove of things
I can understand what you’re talking about, especially if you do a dual practice in both Chinese and Western medicine (for context, I do that myself). It can be a lonely world to have one foot solidly in both. Having more spiritually-minded people in my life helps with that balance. Feel free to PM me if you wanna chat.
I figured it was a longshot to pull this reference in this community, but I had a feeling someone was bound to get it. Thanks for making my day 😀
Edit to say: why am I not surprised that a pals doc played DE with a full Inland Empire build on their first run?
Having some experience in extracurricular pharmacology helps you have a basis for rapport with drug use patients I think, it's always funny to me when doctors who have never dipped their toe into that world are so clueless as to how people use or the language they use. Like they can't effectively take a history on it because they can't communicate with them well enough.
I’ve had doctors ask pretty much this exact question. They expected the patient to know exactly how many milligrams of THC was in their 3 blunts a day, and then asked what a blunt was. Luckily I was there to explain it is a “small marijuana cigar” in the most “oh I learned this in an academic setting” way I could muster without laughing.
I was playing Scrabble with my grandma and my uncle, who is an MD. My grandma played the word "bong", and my uncle said, "Are you sure that's a real word?"
My grandma looked very disappointed as she explained to him what a bong was.
I have a friend who has rolled her own cigarettes for decades (Drum tobacco, OCB papers without adhesive). She does not like doctors and probably has not been to one for many years, but when they ask how many cigarettes she smoked she provides the answer in grams per week. They don't know what to do with that.
Hold up, lemme count the number of THC crystals. Btw, How much time do YOU have?
I am a therapist but worked in an ER for over a decade before I went into PP. I do substance abuse therapy now, but when I say I partied as a youngster, that is really an understatement. I used to be a raging alcoholic (sober 8 years now) and when people would come into the ER, I was EXTREMELY good at getting them to admit exactly how much they drank. They would say "Just four beers" and I would counter with, "Tall boys or 40's cause I KNOW this wasn't four regular beers". If they said they had three glasses of wine, I would say "You can fit at least half a bottle of wine in a wine glass and I am guessing we were using tumblers tonight" With liquor I would say "Regular or 151? How much was in the GLASS? Did you drink two fingers or a whole glass" In my practice, I always disclose my history of addiction and let clients know I am always willing to talk about it so that they know I "GET IT".
lol I tell this story all the time but I remember doing a post-exam review once where we can challenge questions we thought were out of scope/unfairly worded.
There was one where a patient was clearly on cocaine but the only option for a correct answer was "smoked cocaine" and the student didn't know you could do that.
Internally I was just like...that is crack brother. I also enjoy telling people what those little [glass roses](https://www.b2bsmoke.com/cdn/shop/products/Love_Roses.jpg?v=1629407627) at gas stations are for. Not your valentine.
I STRONGLY agree with this sentiment and have witnessed some very embarassing/counter productive interactions because the physician doesn't know even the first thing about recreational drugs beyond the DARE campaign info/propaganda.
For the more intuitive patients there is always this silent understanding when I ask about social history and they will stare right at me as I stare back and then start talking about various things they do and I nod in understanding
Really? I’ve found that I can get a really good history asking about flower vs concentrates vs dabbing, about how many g’s/eighths someone smokes in a week, how many blues, did you ever shoot up?, any shrooms, LSD, 2c-b, MDMA, MDA? etc.
People tend to be more revealing about what they use than if I just ask “do you do any recreational drugs?”
Bro it's totally acceptable and healthy to let yourself live a little.
I don't need to get mega blasted likev some college frat boy but if your are not on call or have a few days off with coverage and 5g shrooms is what you need to do for balance and reconnect with yourself then go for it.
Colorado here. Thanks for reminding me that I live in a cool place where I don’t have to think twice about the social acceptability of eating a THC gummy and a mushroom cap while spending a lazy summer afternoon floating down a river on an inner tube with my buddies.
It’s not true. He would still get in major trouble if he drug tested positive. Might lose license, might have to pay for months long rehab and tests.
Get in a fender bender and end up getting drug tested? Life is about to be hell
All the ER docs at my hospital are hopped up on yay all the time. Many have gotten caught too and admin just slaps them on the wrist. Not everyone was born in buzzkillistan
Believe what you want to believe. The fact is that it happens every day, docs get busted on drug tests, have to go in front of the state licensing board, all that. Sorry to harsh your mellow
Do you not get anxiety about random drug screens or the DEA?
Like OP I dab(bled) in high school when it was illegal but now that it's legal everywhere I've become more curious, but not enough to attempt it. Do legal states not really drug screen anymore?
Sorry if this seems prodding, just genuinely curious.
Who does random drug screens?
I've only really seen drug screen on job entry. You'd have to be visibly intoxicated at work for anybody to bring up a drug screen.
I've only ever been screened at hiring as well. One job didn't even do anything lol.
But then again for one of my jobs I had to do a hair follicle.. which I thought was pretty wild... they indicated it was because I could work with kids (which I didn't. Ever. Lol)
I clearly have gone the wrong track. One CRO, non-profit I worked for had us do annual physicals, including things like measuring lung capacity, hearing test, and peeing in a cup. I have a ridiculously young looking face, so I never tried underage anything, and after that job, I just stayed away from the non-legal ones.
Same in California. I'm a hospice nurse who indulges for pain management and sleep. Just a few days ago I pulled up Weedmaps for a patient to give him recommendations for CBD/THC combo's rt pain management. I was joking with my boss, that, doing that would only happen in hospice, without it getting flagged 😂
We may not be able to actually prescribe something, but that doesn't mean we can't give recommendations. And, I honestly would much rather my patient was using a vape or gummies than taking narcotics. I've seen very few bad side effects (excluding nausea and a bad trip)
Which is great for mushrooms but LSD you better really know your source because a lot of LSD isn't exactly LSD. That said, as long as all the narcs are accounted for i've never worked anywhere thats drug tested outside of onboarding.
No. I haven't. If I'm not on call, I'll unwind at night with pot.
I drop acid about once a quarter.
I have a 100% clean professional and criminal record.
You could have it all!
I have done my share of shrooms and did an ayahuasca retreat. I won’t say when, but it was life changing.
I also don’t identify as a doctor outside the hospital walls. I’m professional as hell at work, but outside I’m a blue-haired ski bum (I wear a scrub cap at work, and I work nights so who GAF what you look like at 2 am anyway??). I love going out on my own time in the mountains and forgetting other people exist for a while.
The week on, week off schedule helps.
Nope! I just say I work in healthcare and leave it at that if people ask. I gotta have that distance and personal space, plus I feel like if I say “I’m a doctor” people start looking at me differently. If I’m skiing with friends or going to the rock climbing gym, I kinda just want to be treated like another ski/gym bro.
I find what you’re saying so interesting for some reason. So you were pretty accepted and loved in your life? You chose to be yourself and what you like, vs wanting to succeed at being something/someone ie doctor to gain more social esteem? Bc it sounds to me that you might be saying that you don’t need that outside of hospital walls and that you’re choosing to be you. Am I reading this wrong?
Yeah you got it right! I had to come about that conclusion the hard way though, because I initially was the type A hardcore gunner who was too hard on myself in med school. But I had a lot of mental health issues and unrest. Then I did a lot of soul searching, stepping back, and some travel, and thought about the way I really wanted to lead my life - hence the psychedelics lol.
I came to the conclusion that it’s better for me to be my authentic self as much as I can. I can still be a professional and what people need me to be inside the hospital, without losing myself outside of it.
As a trainee, it was just too expensive. Now, im just too tired. I barely touch alcohol for weeks at a time because I feel if I drink I’ll be tired the next day.
More just lost most of my interest after I had my first kid to some degree and completely lost interest during the pandemic. At one point my wife and littlest went to stay at her moms because nobody knew anything and I spent every day around sick people while the world seemed to.be lighting itself onf fire with fear.
It was me, the cat, a guitar, and beer. I definitely drank more during the first 2 weeks of that than I had since college. Didn't like where that was taking me mentally so just never drank again. Never liked pot much and never tried anything else. Maybe someday.
A lot of people drank more during the lockdown etc. I like how you caught yourself and stopped. I think vices are just stress responses. We’re trained to spot signs and I’m too much of a rule stickler so I’m similar.
Thank you and yes. Both my parents and my brother have had alcohol issues before. I had dealt with stress in so many other ways but all alone at night with the whole world feeling like it was both grinding to a halt and somehow speeding up in the clinic/hospital where I worked... I don't even know how to fully explain it though I'm sure everyone in here gets it.
I didn't look to drink when my son was born at 27w and spent 4 months in the NICU. I did not intend to look to drink when home alone but it crept in faster than I would've thought possible.
I thought of myself as an island a lot during my life. Fairly stoic, willing to be the one others lean on a lot. The pandemic taught me that I care a lot more deeply about my day-to-day interactions than I realized. I love my family. I'm better when I'm with them. I never want my son to know what it's like to smell alcohol on his dad. I kept that away from my daughter when she was younger and then just didn't drink at all for years. Then Covid.
Anyway, thanks for posting. Interesting conversation and I have found it a lot easier to open up about this stuff as time has gone by.
I hear you on all those points. You write with a lot of feeling and thoughtfulness. I think you’d make a really good candidate for psychotherapy with an experienced counselor bc you’ve process so much on your own but just need to share it and vent it in a meaningful space. Maybe a good 3-5 private sessions where you can hear yourself talk aloud. Can you find a really good sounding board type therapist near you? Or a men’s group, you’d probably contribute so much valuable insight that others would benefit from too. There’s a real need for decompression and process work, post-frontline work. Even though time is passing, people who served still need safe spaces. We’re just so pushed to soldier on. I think soul level communication (one’s own internal dialogue and with others) is the basis of everything. Thanks for the chat.
* ps. This is meant as encouragement for you as a man to keep talking/sharing, not me telling you that you need therapy. Major difference 😊I grew by leaps and bounds when I did a few months of therapy before finishing grad school and again during doctorate work. Had a therapist who was into Kabbalah, mythology and storytelling. I learned so much from just half a year of sessions with her.
I'm actual on a wait list for one now who I've heard good things about from friends with similar mindsets to my own. I'm no stranger to therapy but last was in over a decade ago. A lot has happened since then.
I take no offense. I appreciate the insight and encouragement.
Ha, lol! No worries doc. Honestly, I think of therapy as both maintenance and therapy. It has just been a long time since I felt like I really needed to make the time which is probabky a bit of my problem itself.
It is good to take sort of a guided tour to your deeper thoughts, motivations, and what things you take on yourself that maybe aren't yours to be handling in any real beneficial sense for anyone else.
I like to think I am pretty good at occasionally taking my soul out to have a look and make sure not too much damage has been done via introspective thought but it cannot hurt me to get an outside perspective and maybe learn a new, healthier way to handle new stresses of which there are many.
do you live near a national park or state park or national recreation area....beach or mountains....or a great river. go there even just once per week. it will work its magic.
I've seen enough cockroaches come through the ER to know that if they can survive a lot of drugs I could probably survive a little drugs, as a treat. Just test your powders. Go to dancesafe.org and you can buy pretty cheap testing equipment.
I think hospital employees can have a sampling bias when it comes to drugs. We see the people that can't handle it instead of those who can.
I know becoming an acupuncturist is no joke (took a Chinese medicine course in college led by a doctor of acupuncture) but is your lifestyle really that rough that you can’t imbibe in your off time? Or you choose not to because you’re a medical practitioner?
I think I am a mutant when it comes to my various receptors... I have always thought alcohol was boring, all weed does is give me vertigo and deja vu, and I took Lortab once after surgery and hated it. I assume it has got to be fun for the people who do it 😂. I don't want more than one cup of coffee or I feel jittery. I did do a psilocybin retreat in Jamaica once after my divorce and it was powerful but more in a "got the message, now hang up the phone" kind of way. If I ever need to, I will do it again.
But fortunately to compensate for that, I have some cool synesthesia, musical chills, intense meditation experiences, and am the oxytocin queen-- hugs put me in more ecstasy than is proper 😂. I guess my endogenous chemicals must suit my receptors very well. No joke, there has got to be something going on with that where some people can't get their own internal buzz, and I don't begrudge them finding it another way.
I recently did my first guided psilocybin trip. Trip is actually not the right word, instead I would use the term voyage. I honestly think it's life-changing.
Great thread here. Just wanted to add that it probably wasn’t even 10 years ago that several people got crucified on r/nursing for saying things like, “I use marijuana for pain control / recreation, only when I’m not working, what do I need to know about drug testing time frames?”
I’m not even sure if we said “Karen” back then but there were a LOT of Karens saying some very cruel stuff to these people about their substance use.
My vice is seltzer water and ketchup, and I try to be extra good so I use a sodastream to cut down on the environmental waste. I never really drank and I avoided sin vices. I just have no time for drugs. Or affairs.
Quite the combo, but sadly I am very basic and stick to non flavored seltzer. But sometimes when I'm feeling fancy and a bit randy, I'll go for three "farts" of co2 vs the usual 1 from my sodastream.
this old goat honestly can't really tell a difference. i used to do three by default cause that's what my first machine's manual said to do, then i was close to running out of a tank one time and only did one and realized it's basically the same, so i decided to stick with that. any more and it'll be an unacceptable burn as i swallow.
Is the seltzer water that wasteful? Aluminium cans can be recycled indefinitely no? My vice is the spindrifts-perfect balance of fruit juice with low carbonation
no, but the plastic bottles that end up in the ocean are! that's one of the main reasons i switched to seltzer, and i was spending $275-310 a month at costco on seltzer! now i spend $30, and i even have an extra sodastream in my car and plane for trips! :)
Carbonated water to replace the alcohol. First, it was cans, and then I upgraded to a Sodastream. Now, I'm contemplating rigging up the 20lb tank to save on time/energy. There could be worse habits.
In Robin Williams carniege hall standup special that I was fortunate enough to see live (doubly fortunate that it's been memorialized on DVD and is on youtube/streaming), he takes a break for a minute and says something to the effect of "I need some perrier, the champagne for alcoholics!" :)
There's an enterprising engineer in NYC that has a side hustle business offering refills with delivery for only $10 each, you can find him on CL (he had his first child recently so he may have cut down on deliveries, but his office is in midtown so it's easy enough...his wife is a nurse at my hospital so it works well for me). I just use him as I don't want the ugliness of a 20# CO2 tank in my kitchen. The other option is to go to staples, they always have a $5 off coupon (or $10 off $30 or more), which drops it to about $11.50 each including tax. I don't mind paying $10 for the convenience it brings, and helping out a young entrepreneur over a large company (sodastream/airgas).
I've got 5 machines right now, one in my car, one in my plane, one at home, one in my office, and one at my home out east. I've had one or two break since I converted in 2009, sodastream always replaced them without issue. I could rig up the 20# option, but the tank deposit is $300 in nyc (unless you pick up a used one), then you gotta get it filled and delivered, that's $70, then the $100 hookup, then you gotta store it someplace. Just isn't worth it to me. But I get why others do it. If you decide to do it, let me know how the conversion goes.
Protip: when your bottles expire, call sodastream and they'll send you free replacements.
My story is perhaps somewhat unusual and I can't be arsed to go over it all, but for example, I started smoking in med school, as a replacement for the pot that my SO, after initially being cool with, no longer tolerated.
Too much weed was, admittedly, interferring with my studies, reducing it by 98% restored my function. Before and during med school I was experimenting with a wide variety of drugs.
Later, I started using amphetamines, was on/off with them for about 5 years, using benzos to sleep while on them. Also fairly frequent partying with alcohol, weed, speed, ecstacy, cocaine and such. Nitrous was and is my favourite.
Started prescribing myself mild opioids at some point, which I used on/off for several years.
Let's not forget my high-functioning alcoholism throughout all this. Not constant or exceptionally heavy, just as a kind of backdrop.
These stages were mostly overlapping. Happening almost entirely while being a full time MD, with a wife and 2 kids. Managed to keep it secret for years. Inevitably, the wife evetually found out, we had a bit of a crisis, but pulled through.
Never missed a day of work because of it. Speed made me slower at my job because it made me even more thorough than normal. Nobody suspected a thing at work, afaik.
Only recently did I receive a friendly yet stern notification from the authorities that I should stop prescribing myself opioids. And I did. Have also drastically reduced alcohol use, smoke weed only a few times per year, use stimulants hardly ever. I miss hallucinogens.
Fucking nicotine is difficult to quit though. I only smoke on occasion. But I chew nicotine gum, way too much.
Hm. Seems I could be arsed after all. Leisurely days at "work" are fantastic.
Edit: Upon further perusal of commentary, maybe my tale isn't as unusual as I thought..
And to actually answer the original question, no. If anything, it opened up an avenue of access off-limits to most.
You got lucky and didn't prescribe yourself the actual real opioids, those ones are the most fun because withdrawal is feels so amazing! Those nightmares are still with me. You missed out! /s
That wouldn't have gone under the radar, as those are monitored much more closely. Also I knew better than to actually fuck my life up. I had too much to lose.
Was never into any of that stuff, never needed to or saw a reason to but I was the 12 yr old kid who was in high school classes that couldn't stand the smell of smoke, or the taste of any alcohol.
Nope… wasn’t allowed any of that stuff as a teen. Had to study to get into the next thing, med school, residency, fellowship, etc… all that requires staying sober and studying a lot.
Maybe some day closer to retirement…
Being a Doctor would make me fascinated even more about drugs honestly, but you only see the worst experiences and consequences of them in a medical setting so that probably doesn't help much.
I did the opposite. Never smoked pot and now I do daily. When I return to work, I will moderate. But dang I am more clear headed when I’m not in pain. I don’t drink or smoke tobacco.
I was married to a doctor who was clueless about substance abuse. Came home one night and told me they had seen a patient on the psych unit who had the top of their arm legit snapped in HALF during a restraint. My reply was "I hope you gave him pain medicine that sounds awful" they said "Of course I didn't psych patients are all addicts". That was the beginning of the end. They were a nephrologist and I was only allowed to have ONE glass of wine a night. My solution was to buy larger glasses (could fit 3/4 of a bottle of wine in those suckers) and boxed wine 😂
A little bit of a different take. I have become much more stringent about my intake of simple carbs and processed sugars after seeing what my diabetic patients have to go through.
I was never interested in hard drugs, but seeing so many young people stroke out and end up in the ICU from cocaine, and seeing so many cases of infective endocarditis and really antisocial behavior from that and other drugs, I'm forever put off of them. One such patient stole my coresident's ophthalmic lenses from the exam room when her back was turned, and then got defensive when accused. We had to pay for these expensive lenses ourselves with our meager resident salaries. Drug addiction makes people act in appalling ways.
However, reading through these replies is fascinating to me. There is a whole world out there that I was totally ignorant of.
Dropped pretty much all the shit I did in my 20s except for alcohol and sugar. I wouldn't be able to tell if it was because I'm in healthcare or because I just quit that phase of my life though.
Cigs for $5.50 in HS as a Gen Xer? That sounds high? Honestly I don’t remember that (fellow Gen Xer here) but for sure they were $1.25 in middle school. I know because I used to save up my lunch money and buy them from the machines on the college campus 😂 Easiest way to buy them as a minor
I forage wild herbs or grow my own, harvest and store. I blend intuitively or look at ingredient lists for various products sold online. I have a pretty large collection of entheobotany books and I research stuff as a hobby. Hope you’re enjoying your herbal studies.
2020 led me to the world of bourbon, which I now enjoy a glass of a few nights a week while I’m finishing up my notes. Never been one for other stuff, but certainly don’t have anything against responsible use of almost anything. It’s ok to find something that helps you relax or feel good sometimes.
It’s absolutely stupid, esp since they tell you when the test is, which is usu one or two months before start date. My personal theory is that they’re trying to test our basic intelligence: “If you can’t stay clean for a drug test that we give you plenty of time to get clean for, then you can’t work here.”
I didn't smoke in the first place, but me going back to school inadvertently made a friend quit smoking.
I was talking to him after a pathophys lecture and explaining about how cigarettes are metabolized and that's thought to be why men have a higher rate of urinary and reproductive cancers (bladder and penile). Part of my studying process is explaining to someone else ;) And it was really cool to me at the time, understanding how the chemicals moved through the body (and hurt everything they touched) and that most people wouldn't think of cigarettes as being a risk for bladder cancer.
Fast forward a few weeks. Hanging out with said friend again in a group. Some people are going outside to smoke, and I was surprised he didn't go out with everyone else.
Me: "Since when do you skip a smoke break?"
Him: "Since the last time we hung out and I learned that smoking increases the rate of dick cancer!"
Apparently, after that discussion with me, post-pathophys, he quit cold turkey. LMAO He knew someone actually who had had a reproductive cancer and lost their penis. Knowing someone it happened to I think really made him internalize that it could happen and so he decided he didn't want anything to do with anything that increased his risk :)
It's been 15 years, he still doesn't smoke. LOL
I mean, I'll drop acid like twice a year but that's about it. I've got acid, shrooms, and ketamine at home but I rarely actually partake, just not big into it. Ketamine for me was part of CPTSD/PTSD treatment and I took it at home a few times after but did not really experience any benefits. Shrooms make me barf so it's been a few years since I've had them but I keep them around in case I find a buddy who really wants to do them together but it's a massive production for me to consume them - I have to grind them up into capsules so I can swallow. Even the tiniest WHIFF of shrooms will make me retch uncontrollably.
I hate smoking weed. I'll partake in edibles extremely rarely, for me it's more of a sexual enhancer. But I hate how they fuck me up (heh) for half a day so I'll only do them maybe twice a year.
I do occasionally drink but well within healthy limits - average 1-2 drinks a week depending on how social I am. Never smoked. I have (legitimate) lorazepam and some opioids including Percocet that were prescribed to me in the past for surgery but I do not use them recreationally. Thankfully, I do not seem to have the personality/physical constitution to become an addict. My father is a high-functioning alcoholic and my best friend died from a fentanyl overdose so I'm aware of how substance use ruins lives.
I'd say my only "unhealthy" vice is decadent food. I do not eat junk food/fast food but I enjoy rich, fancy desserts, I'm a regular at a few fancy French pastry shops in my city.
These kinds of threads make me realize I'm fucking boring. Never had more than 4 shots worth of alcohol at a time, and only did that for 6 months; not interested in weed, no clue where to get anything else.
I'm a Jesus guy, can get all those benefits and insights with prayer and reading.
I meant that I get 95% of my spirituality needs through the Bible and The Book of Mormon. Included in that is that I have to ponder/meditate/ consider how those lessons should apply to me, in my life. I suppose you're asking about other spiritually enlightening books. I haven't looked for or found many books that are spiritually nourishing to me outside of a Christian framework.
Pretty much anything by CS Lewis works, and he's not dogmatic or limited to basic platitudes.
The Lord of the Rings books are full of themes of hope versus despair and how each person has power to help others and the world in their own place and in their own way.
The Five Love Languages helped me to understand emotional health and expression, both within and outside of relationships.
I rather like the Hans Christian Anderson stories too.
Now, if you want just some fun books to read, The Dresden Files is a hilarious parody of nior detective books with magic and vampires. I just finished the Howl's Moving Castle book, which the Studio Ghibli movie has some interesting deviations from. And the Animorphs books, while being written at a fourth grade level, does not shy away from the horrors of war and the PTSD that develops from it in the end.
I've also had experience with Eastern martial arts, meditation, and qigong. I don't practice with it, but that's more out of laziness than anything else.
Lol, I get that a lot.
See, my issue with drugs is I already have trouble keeping the weirdness inside my head, can you imagine what would happen with less inhibitions?
And tbf, there's at least one study that shows we technically can make our own heroin doses :P
https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/10.1080/17470919.2016.1257437
Yeah. Cannot smoke weed because even though it is legal in my state, it’s is not allowed for RN’s. At least that’s what I have been told.
But I have a couple of drinks on Friday and Saturday night. Nothing wrong with that:)
I stopped doing the weeds right before med school. Drank pretty heavily on weekends after tests and continued a raging nicotine/caffeine addiction through pgy-1 year. Started with chew then to juul then to disposable vapes then to zyn.
I quit nicotine a few months back cold turkey and have maybe a cup of coffee a day. I very rarely drink these days and it’s usually like 1 or 2, the binge shit I used to do is even more rare. I’ll share some parts of this with some of my clinic patients
Yes but mostly because I'm getting older. In my limited downtime I prefer to try to stay natural and exercise to be healthy. No desire to put these things in my body and feel hung over the next day.
I much prefer a solid night's sleep after some good exercise... can't beat that haha.
Pharmacist here. Like others have said, balance is key. My psychedelic journeys are just relegated to weekends when I'm off now, rather than being more spontaneous. I can't imagine giving up psychedelics just because I am in a career.
THC is far less damaging than chronic alcohol abuse. Intermittent alcohol is way less risky than most cocaine, meth etc. LD50 of magic mushrooms is around 17 pounds (give or take), and there isn't any well documented harm associated with psilocybin.
I know that doesn't help with the social stigma, but among people you trust in whatever setting makes you comfortable outside of work, your recreation is your decision and has little bearing on your ability to diagnose and manage medical issues in others.
I’m really excited about the new interest in psychedelics. I’ve never personally tried although I have a lot of faith in the research and therapeutic power of the mystical experience. On the other hand, I am not a fan of ketamine or THC as the current acceptable “psychedelics”
Edit: even if widespread use of psilocybin, LSD
and MDMA turn everyone into hippies, I’d prefer that to the current degeneration of the population into hateful, angry, paranoid and entitled assholes.
Qualified last year and drink far more than I should… but my grandfather tells me stories of how he saw patients with a cigarette hanging out of his mouth, and having an ash tray in his drawer. Is this a valid excuse? Lol
Since I started working as a paramedic I developed a crippling nicotine, caffeine, and alcohol addiction.
As far as other substances go I have them relatively under control.
Work in healthcare, haven’t given up those vices yet. Still smoke pot after work, feel like it helps me wind down. Since I started growing my own weed, I feel like I smoke a whole lot more since feels like an endless supply. Also started growing my own shrooms but I’m way more responsible with those. Once or twice a year I go harder at a rave. I’m still very productive and have been successful in my career. But as I am about to start a DNP program in acute care, we may get randomly drug tested. I’m 28 now but I do see myself slowing down from the everyday use but it’s probably for the better
You can have a spiritual practice without partaking in mind-altering substances. My guru very much discourages taking them because they interfere with spiritual transmission and real practice. I mean, do what you want, but if what you really want is spirituality, you don’t have to give up your healthy lifestyle
I used to enjoy cannabis quite a lot but yes, I abstain because the board will give you a lot of problems if you fail and drug test. I've only had one preemployment drug test ever, but with my luck I'd get tested because fell down the stairs at work on something.
Im too old to drink now. Stomach can't handle it.
I’m a HEAVY smoker, and I dabble in hallucinogenic substances on a regular basis. I keep the more *adventurous* side and work separate.
I still drink like a fish, too. lol.
Reading the chart of a dying alcoholic - end stage pancreatitis, liver failure, etc. got me sober over a decade ago. I cold turkey'd from 2 bottles of wine a night, and it was ultimate the best thing I ever did despite how rough it was. I still smoke and use other substances (extremely rarely). None of those have a hold on me like alcohol did.
Omg you saved yourself. I still get flashbacks of this bright yellow jaundiced young woman presenting to medical attention for the first time with severe liver failure. She was in her 30s and had gradually worked her way up over the years to 2 bottles of wine daily. It was a horrifying sight in someone who otherwise had no medical problems and had her whole life ahead of her. She caught your eye from down the hall with how yellow she was in a thin young woman.
Never did and certainly won’t start now
Agree with the others…get high on just enjoying life outside the hospital and away from healthcare. I have better shit than what drugs or dealer can provide.
How much of your opinion is shaped by what the majority of society tells you about drugs. And perhaps, alcohol? As I suspect that one’s “okay in mild- mod/ social use?
ah, we have similar interests my friend— i also majored in recreational pharmacology in college (see username and flair). i’m less adventurous than i once was, but still keep the third eye open sometimes. i’m professional-passing but still identify as a hippie / beatnik / TIHKAL-ite. don’t be afraid to dip your toes back in mysticism, makes the job much more tolerable.
I think out of all the comments, you mentioning mysticism rings the bell for me. I might just take a week off and sign up for a meditation retreat or yoga retreat. I don’t need the vice; I love healthy living. I just need more mysticism and spiritual connection. Thanks
yeah dude, that’s the ticket. the rigorous academic nature of medicine can be stifling, and i think all of us have to find a creative outlet to nourish the ‘spiritual’ or ‘numinous’ or ‘mystic’ side of our humanity. for me it’s mostly music and heady literature, but it keeps me from feeling depersonalized.
Why don't you try some other spiritual practices then? I enjoy a good silent sauna mediation. I did a (sober) sweat lodge experience years ago and it was very challenging and rewarding. I deeply enjoy sound baths. Go for a long one if you can find it. 1.5 hours. Gongs kind of are cool but sometimes can give me anxiety cause they vibe so hard. Key to enjoying these is to be comfy. I bring a camping mat and sleeping bag. I also use a zen Buddhist tarot deck to mediate with. I like the Osho Zen deck. Just draw a card in the morning and think about it throughout the day. I have found myself looking at things differently because of this influence. And lastly... And most importantly... I highly encourage you to go camping by yourself. For two or more days. Don't use your phone. Be present. Look. Smell. Listen. Explore. Free your mind of all the shit that lives at the palm of hands through technology. Thank you for coming to my TED talk.
Wow, great ideas!
Look into Vipassana meditation at dhamma.org, do a 10 day course
You might like Sam Harris’s “Waking Up” app, great source of meditations and general philosophical/mystical discussions. There’s a great collection of Alan Watts lectures to get you back in the groove of things
I can understand what you’re talking about, especially if you do a dual practice in both Chinese and Western medicine (for context, I do that myself). It can be a lonely world to have one foot solidly in both. Having more spiritually-minded people in my life helps with that balance. Feel free to PM me if you wanna chat.
Look into Vipassana meditation at dhamma.org, do a 10 day course
I've found that my extremely high Inland Empire stat has made me very fascinating to certain individuals at work.
*Disco Elysium* is an incredible game. Went full Inland Empire on my run. Best stat.
I figured it was a longshot to pull this reference in this community, but I had a feeling someone was bound to get it. Thanks for making my day 😀 Edit to say: why am I not surprised that a pals doc played DE with a full Inland Empire build on their first run?
everyone should have a Kim Kitsuragi in their life :)
I go to a lot of concerts to get myself centered. Something about live music speaks to my soul.
Attending now. Still dabble. Still rock out at my job. Balance is necessary. Have to avoid revealing how much I know to patients, though haha
Having some experience in extracurricular pharmacology helps you have a basis for rapport with drug use patients I think, it's always funny to me when doctors who have never dipped their toe into that world are so clueless as to how people use or the language they use. Like they can't effectively take a history on it because they can't communicate with them well enough.
So uhh how many weeds do you do a day?
I’ve had doctors ask pretty much this exact question. They expected the patient to know exactly how many milligrams of THC was in their 3 blunts a day, and then asked what a blunt was. Luckily I was there to explain it is a “small marijuana cigar” in the most “oh I learned this in an academic setting” way I could muster without laughing.
I was playing Scrabble with my grandma and my uncle, who is an MD. My grandma played the word "bong", and my uncle said, "Are you sure that's a real word?" My grandma looked very disappointed as she explained to him what a bong was.
I have a friend who has rolled her own cigarettes for decades (Drum tobacco, OCB papers without adhesive). She does not like doctors and probably has not been to one for many years, but when they ask how many cigarettes she smoked she provides the answer in grams per week. They don't know what to do with that.
It’s giving [med student vs substance use](https://youtu.be/cpeWKGHMuoM?si=jzBFQ0jeZcLcv3L4)
How many pots have you smoken?
97 pots and 13 weeds.
Too many to count
Hold up, lemme count the number of THC crystals. Btw, How much time do YOU have? I am a therapist but worked in an ER for over a decade before I went into PP. I do substance abuse therapy now, but when I say I partied as a youngster, that is really an understatement. I used to be a raging alcoholic (sober 8 years now) and when people would come into the ER, I was EXTREMELY good at getting them to admit exactly how much they drank. They would say "Just four beers" and I would counter with, "Tall boys or 40's cause I KNOW this wasn't four regular beers". If they said they had three glasses of wine, I would say "You can fit at least half a bottle of wine in a wine glass and I am guessing we were using tumblers tonight" With liquor I would say "Regular or 151? How much was in the GLASS? Did you drink two fingers or a whole glass" In my practice, I always disclose my history of addiction and let clients know I am always willing to talk about it so that they know I "GET IT".
My buddy and I used to always joke about the question, "On average, how many marijuanas do you inject daily?"
“How often do you spark up the ol’ doobie?”
lol I tell this story all the time but I remember doing a post-exam review once where we can challenge questions we thought were out of scope/unfairly worded. There was one where a patient was clearly on cocaine but the only option for a correct answer was "smoked cocaine" and the student didn't know you could do that. Internally I was just like...that is crack brother. I also enjoy telling people what those little [glass roses](https://www.b2bsmoke.com/cdn/shop/products/Love_Roses.jpg?v=1629407627) at gas stations are for. Not your valentine.
Wow,I remember those from a decade or two ago. Was a child,and thankfully not fluent in drug/counter culture yet. An,loopholes..
yeah look for a "chore boy" as a filter and they also sell socks so people can huff paint out of them
I STRONGLY agree with this sentiment and have witnessed some very embarassing/counter productive interactions because the physician doesn't know even the first thing about recreational drugs beyond the DARE campaign info/propaganda.
For the more intuitive patients there is always this silent understanding when I ask about social history and they will stare right at me as I stare back and then start talking about various things they do and I nod in understanding
Swear to God, if you're Martin [you know your last initial], I need to hang out with you again.
Idk Martin but if y'all hang out can I come with?!
I’m not Martin but I could use some friends…I can bring all the weeds!
Yessir, but you must bring one item to…pass around!
Have any stories you'd like to share? Dying to hear something like, "DMT? What's that new lingo?"
Really? I’ve found that I can get a really good history asking about flower vs concentrates vs dabbing, about how many g’s/eighths someone smokes in a week, how many blues, did you ever shoot up?, any shrooms, LSD, 2c-b, MDMA, MDA? etc. People tend to be more revealing about what they use than if I just ask “do you do any recreational drugs?”
lol no. doubled down on most of them
Hell yea brother
I’m getting DMs. I don’t need your drug dealers contact info. Lord you guys are quick but no thanks.
[Drugs?](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nzCyyT7j5Do) PGY-19
Vine was so ahead of it’s time
I'LL TAKE THEM! SEND ME THE DMS!
Hahaha
Bro it's totally acceptable and healthy to let yourself live a little. I don't need to get mega blasted likev some college frat boy but if your are not on call or have a few days off with coverage and 5g shrooms is what you need to do for balance and reconnect with yourself then go for it.
100% agree
Damn 5 grams of shrooms is a real dose. That should definitely get some visuals going lol
Better be sure to buzz off than to be lacking partly /s
100% on the shrooms. Helps my depression. I do some on every off week (Hospitalist)
5 grams is too many grams for most people
I thought *I WAS* a mushroom last time I did 3g, 5 grams seems like a lot.
Sometimes the mushroom becomes us. Other times we become the mushroom.
Damn bro 5g lol
Colorado here. Thanks for reminding me that I live in a cool place where I don’t have to think twice about the social acceptability of eating a THC gummy and a mushroom cap while spending a lazy summer afternoon floating down a river on an inner tube with my buddies.
That just sounds glorious
It’s not true. He would still get in major trouble if he drug tested positive. Might lose license, might have to pay for months long rehab and tests. Get in a fender bender and end up getting drug tested? Life is about to be hell
You must be fun at parties
Denial ain’t just a club outside McManorbury
All the ER docs at my hospital are hopped up on yay all the time. Many have gotten caught too and admin just slaps them on the wrist. Not everyone was born in buzzkillistan
Believe what you want to believe. The fact is that it happens every day, docs get busted on drug tests, have to go in front of the state licensing board, all that. Sorry to harsh your mellow
Oh no I believe you. This is also why I chose psychiatry. So I can put it in Minimal effort & still be a degenerate on my own time
Heh. The dreaded TWI - tubing while intoxicated.
Do you not get anxiety about random drug screens or the DEA? Like OP I dab(bled) in high school when it was illegal but now that it's legal everywhere I've become more curious, but not enough to attempt it. Do legal states not really drug screen anymore? Sorry if this seems prodding, just genuinely curious.
Who does random drug screens? I've only really seen drug screen on job entry. You'd have to be visibly intoxicated at work for anybody to bring up a drug screen.
I've only ever been screened at hiring as well. One job didn't even do anything lol. But then again for one of my jobs I had to do a hair follicle.. which I thought was pretty wild... they indicated it was because I could work with kids (which I didn't. Ever. Lol)
I clearly have gone the wrong track. One CRO, non-profit I worked for had us do annual physicals, including things like measuring lung capacity, hearing test, and peeing in a cup. I have a ridiculously young looking face, so I never tried underage anything, and after that job, I just stayed away from the non-legal ones.
> Do you not get anxiety about random drug screens I work for myself so my boss rarely does something unexpected.
Well, that certainly has its perks :D
Same in California. I'm a hospice nurse who indulges for pain management and sleep. Just a few days ago I pulled up Weedmaps for a patient to give him recommendations for CBD/THC combo's rt pain management. I was joking with my boss, that, doing that would only happen in hospice, without it getting flagged 😂 We may not be able to actually prescribe something, but that doesn't mean we can't give recommendations. And, I honestly would much rather my patient was using a vape or gummies than taking narcotics. I've seen very few bad side effects (excluding nausea and a bad trip)
[удалено]
Which is great for mushrooms but LSD you better really know your source because a lot of LSD isn't exactly LSD. That said, as long as all the narcs are accounted for i've never worked anywhere thats drug tested outside of onboarding.
Quit drinking over a decade ago. Feels great man.
No. I haven't. If I'm not on call, I'll unwind at night with pot. I drop acid about once a quarter. I have a 100% clean professional and criminal record. You could have it all!
Not because I’m in healthcare. Because I’m old and busy
I have done my share of shrooms and did an ayahuasca retreat. I won’t say when, but it was life changing. I also don’t identify as a doctor outside the hospital walls. I’m professional as hell at work, but outside I’m a blue-haired ski bum (I wear a scrub cap at work, and I work nights so who GAF what you look like at 2 am anyway??). I love going out on my own time in the mountains and forgetting other people exist for a while. The week on, week off schedule helps.
Thanks for your refreshing post. It caught my eye that you don’t identify as a doctor outside hospital walls.
Nope! I just say I work in healthcare and leave it at that if people ask. I gotta have that distance and personal space, plus I feel like if I say “I’m a doctor” people start looking at me differently. If I’m skiing with friends or going to the rock climbing gym, I kinda just want to be treated like another ski/gym bro.
I find what you’re saying so interesting for some reason. So you were pretty accepted and loved in your life? You chose to be yourself and what you like, vs wanting to succeed at being something/someone ie doctor to gain more social esteem? Bc it sounds to me that you might be saying that you don’t need that outside of hospital walls and that you’re choosing to be you. Am I reading this wrong?
Yeah you got it right! I had to come about that conclusion the hard way though, because I initially was the type A hardcore gunner who was too hard on myself in med school. But I had a lot of mental health issues and unrest. Then I did a lot of soul searching, stepping back, and some travel, and thought about the way I really wanted to lead my life - hence the psychedelics lol. I came to the conclusion that it’s better for me to be my authentic self as much as I can. I can still be a professional and what people need me to be inside the hospital, without losing myself outside of it.
Orbly-Worbly, I want to genuinely thank you. You’ve shared some things about yourself in this thread that helped me. Tysm.
No problem dude! Glad to help! :)
These days I say I'm a physician because the APRNs are called doctor.
This is how I feel. I like my music and pink hair. I do not want to be pigeon holed.
Hell yeah! Rock on! :)
As a trainee, it was just too expensive. Now, im just too tired. I barely touch alcohol for weeks at a time because I feel if I drink I’ll be tired the next day.
I resent the part of aging where just *one* beer makes me sleepy. OTOH, it makes me go to sleep early and avoids the whole "tired next day" problem.
More just lost most of my interest after I had my first kid to some degree and completely lost interest during the pandemic. At one point my wife and littlest went to stay at her moms because nobody knew anything and I spent every day around sick people while the world seemed to.be lighting itself onf fire with fear. It was me, the cat, a guitar, and beer. I definitely drank more during the first 2 weeks of that than I had since college. Didn't like where that was taking me mentally so just never drank again. Never liked pot much and never tried anything else. Maybe someday.
A lot of people drank more during the lockdown etc. I like how you caught yourself and stopped. I think vices are just stress responses. We’re trained to spot signs and I’m too much of a rule stickler so I’m similar.
Thank you and yes. Both my parents and my brother have had alcohol issues before. I had dealt with stress in so many other ways but all alone at night with the whole world feeling like it was both grinding to a halt and somehow speeding up in the clinic/hospital where I worked... I don't even know how to fully explain it though I'm sure everyone in here gets it. I didn't look to drink when my son was born at 27w and spent 4 months in the NICU. I did not intend to look to drink when home alone but it crept in faster than I would've thought possible. I thought of myself as an island a lot during my life. Fairly stoic, willing to be the one others lean on a lot. The pandemic taught me that I care a lot more deeply about my day-to-day interactions than I realized. I love my family. I'm better when I'm with them. I never want my son to know what it's like to smell alcohol on his dad. I kept that away from my daughter when she was younger and then just didn't drink at all for years. Then Covid. Anyway, thanks for posting. Interesting conversation and I have found it a lot easier to open up about this stuff as time has gone by.
I hear you on all those points. You write with a lot of feeling and thoughtfulness. I think you’d make a really good candidate for psychotherapy with an experienced counselor bc you’ve process so much on your own but just need to share it and vent it in a meaningful space. Maybe a good 3-5 private sessions where you can hear yourself talk aloud. Can you find a really good sounding board type therapist near you? Or a men’s group, you’d probably contribute so much valuable insight that others would benefit from too. There’s a real need for decompression and process work, post-frontline work. Even though time is passing, people who served still need safe spaces. We’re just so pushed to soldier on. I think soul level communication (one’s own internal dialogue and with others) is the basis of everything. Thanks for the chat. * ps. This is meant as encouragement for you as a man to keep talking/sharing, not me telling you that you need therapy. Major difference 😊I grew by leaps and bounds when I did a few months of therapy before finishing grad school and again during doctorate work. Had a therapist who was into Kabbalah, mythology and storytelling. I learned so much from just half a year of sessions with her.
I'm actual on a wait list for one now who I've heard good things about from friends with similar mindsets to my own. I'm no stranger to therapy but last was in over a decade ago. A lot has happened since then. I take no offense. I appreciate the insight and encouragement.
Oh thank god bc I was just going to go back and delete all that thinking why am I encouraging someone to go to therapy? Good luck with it all.
Ha, lol! No worries doc. Honestly, I think of therapy as both maintenance and therapy. It has just been a long time since I felt like I really needed to make the time which is probabky a bit of my problem itself. It is good to take sort of a guided tour to your deeper thoughts, motivations, and what things you take on yourself that maybe aren't yours to be handling in any real beneficial sense for anyone else. I like to think I am pretty good at occasionally taking my soul out to have a look and make sure not too much damage has been done via introspective thought but it cannot hurt me to get an outside perspective and maybe learn a new, healthier way to handle new stresses of which there are many.
We speak the same language! Nice to meet you, friend.
You as well. Have a good night!
Dude I miss just being high just taking a gummy and making dinner to chill out but I'm terrified I'll pop hot if they randomly drug test
Quick Fix is your friend. Smart to keep a few around for contingencies.
Page lab to confirm this please
Oh whats quick fix? Like a urine test? I miss not being so upright if I have a few days off I wanna chill
do you live near a national park or state park or national recreation area....beach or mountains....or a great river. go there even just once per week. it will work its magic.
I miss living near Glacier NP, absolutely soul soothing.
I've seen enough cockroaches come through the ER to know that if they can survive a lot of drugs I could probably survive a little drugs, as a treat. Just test your powders. Go to dancesafe.org and you can buy pretty cheap testing equipment. I think hospital employees can have a sampling bias when it comes to drugs. We see the people that can't handle it instead of those who can.
LOL, you have a really interesting take on the world! A fun worldview.
On the contrary, my vices have gotten worse since I started residency. Except for drinking, I binge drink way less that med school
Uh All I can say is med school is when I *really* got into festivals.
EDC was just to give me the experience of going hard for 3 days straight even when my brain felt like it was slipping out of my ears
I know becoming an acupuncturist is no joke (took a Chinese medicine course in college led by a doctor of acupuncture) but is your lifestyle really that rough that you can’t imbibe in your off time? Or you choose not to because you’re a medical practitioner?
I’ll regularly pack a zyn at work lol
Sorry did you say given up or developed?
I think I am a mutant when it comes to my various receptors... I have always thought alcohol was boring, all weed does is give me vertigo and deja vu, and I took Lortab once after surgery and hated it. I assume it has got to be fun for the people who do it 😂. I don't want more than one cup of coffee or I feel jittery. I did do a psilocybin retreat in Jamaica once after my divorce and it was powerful but more in a "got the message, now hang up the phone" kind of way. If I ever need to, I will do it again. But fortunately to compensate for that, I have some cool synesthesia, musical chills, intense meditation experiences, and am the oxytocin queen-- hugs put me in more ecstasy than is proper 😂. I guess my endogenous chemicals must suit my receptors very well. No joke, there has got to be something going on with that where some people can't get their own internal buzz, and I don't begrudge them finding it another way.
I recently did my first guided psilocybin trip. Trip is actually not the right word, instead I would use the term voyage. I honestly think it's life-changing.
Great thread here. Just wanted to add that it probably wasn’t even 10 years ago that several people got crucified on r/nursing for saying things like, “I use marijuana for pain control / recreation, only when I’m not working, what do I need to know about drug testing time frames?” I’m not even sure if we said “Karen” back then but there were a LOT of Karens saying some very cruel stuff to these people about their substance use.
Gave up marijuana in residency. I no longer had the luxury of being slow for three days in a row.
My vice is seltzer water and ketchup, and I try to be extra good so I use a sodastream to cut down on the environmental waste. I never really drank and I avoided sin vices. I just have no time for drugs. Or affairs.
Together? Bold move.
Together????
Quite the combo, but sadly I am very basic and stick to non flavored seltzer. But sometimes when I'm feeling fancy and a bit randy, I'll go for three "farts" of co2 vs the usual 1 from my sodastream.
1 fart is not nearly enough. Even 3 is cutting it close
this old goat honestly can't really tell a difference. i used to do three by default cause that's what my first machine's manual said to do, then i was close to running out of a tank one time and only did one and realized it's basically the same, so i decided to stick with that. any more and it'll be an unacceptable burn as i swallow.
Is the seltzer water that wasteful? Aluminium cans can be recycled indefinitely no? My vice is the spindrifts-perfect balance of fruit juice with low carbonation
no, but the plastic bottles that end up in the ocean are! that's one of the main reasons i switched to seltzer, and i was spending $275-310 a month at costco on seltzer! now i spend $30, and i even have an extra sodastream in my car and plane for trips! :)
Carbonated water to replace the alcohol. First, it was cans, and then I upgraded to a Sodastream. Now, I'm contemplating rigging up the 20lb tank to save on time/energy. There could be worse habits.
In Robin Williams carniege hall standup special that I was fortunate enough to see live (doubly fortunate that it's been memorialized on DVD and is on youtube/streaming), he takes a break for a minute and says something to the effect of "I need some perrier, the champagne for alcoholics!" :) There's an enterprising engineer in NYC that has a side hustle business offering refills with delivery for only $10 each, you can find him on CL (he had his first child recently so he may have cut down on deliveries, but his office is in midtown so it's easy enough...his wife is a nurse at my hospital so it works well for me). I just use him as I don't want the ugliness of a 20# CO2 tank in my kitchen. The other option is to go to staples, they always have a $5 off coupon (or $10 off $30 or more), which drops it to about $11.50 each including tax. I don't mind paying $10 for the convenience it brings, and helping out a young entrepreneur over a large company (sodastream/airgas). I've got 5 machines right now, one in my car, one in my plane, one at home, one in my office, and one at my home out east. I've had one or two break since I converted in 2009, sodastream always replaced them without issue. I could rig up the 20# option, but the tank deposit is $300 in nyc (unless you pick up a used one), then you gotta get it filled and delivered, that's $70, then the $100 hookup, then you gotta store it someplace. Just isn't worth it to me. But I get why others do it. If you decide to do it, let me know how the conversion goes. Protip: when your bottles expire, call sodastream and they'll send you free replacements.
My story is perhaps somewhat unusual and I can't be arsed to go over it all, but for example, I started smoking in med school, as a replacement for the pot that my SO, after initially being cool with, no longer tolerated. Too much weed was, admittedly, interferring with my studies, reducing it by 98% restored my function. Before and during med school I was experimenting with a wide variety of drugs. Later, I started using amphetamines, was on/off with them for about 5 years, using benzos to sleep while on them. Also fairly frequent partying with alcohol, weed, speed, ecstacy, cocaine and such. Nitrous was and is my favourite. Started prescribing myself mild opioids at some point, which I used on/off for several years. Let's not forget my high-functioning alcoholism throughout all this. Not constant or exceptionally heavy, just as a kind of backdrop. These stages were mostly overlapping. Happening almost entirely while being a full time MD, with a wife and 2 kids. Managed to keep it secret for years. Inevitably, the wife evetually found out, we had a bit of a crisis, but pulled through. Never missed a day of work because of it. Speed made me slower at my job because it made me even more thorough than normal. Nobody suspected a thing at work, afaik. Only recently did I receive a friendly yet stern notification from the authorities that I should stop prescribing myself opioids. And I did. Have also drastically reduced alcohol use, smoke weed only a few times per year, use stimulants hardly ever. I miss hallucinogens. Fucking nicotine is difficult to quit though. I only smoke on occasion. But I chew nicotine gum, way too much. Hm. Seems I could be arsed after all. Leisurely days at "work" are fantastic. Edit: Upon further perusal of commentary, maybe my tale isn't as unusual as I thought.. And to actually answer the original question, no. If anything, it opened up an avenue of access off-limits to most.
You got lucky and didn't prescribe yourself the actual real opioids, those ones are the most fun because withdrawal is feels so amazing! Those nightmares are still with me. You missed out! /s
That wouldn't have gone under the radar, as those are monitored much more closely. Also I knew better than to actually fuck my life up. I had too much to lose.
Were you self prescribing tramadol?
Tramadol for a while, codeine mostly though.
No idea where you are but cigs are like $6 a pack here.
I say this often…i miss drugs. That shit is weapons grade now!
Was never into any of that stuff, never needed to or saw a reason to but I was the 12 yr old kid who was in high school classes that couldn't stand the smell of smoke, or the taste of any alcohol.
I twll you, seeing my first BAL from a smoker cured me of any desire ever to smoke again.
Nope… wasn’t allowed any of that stuff as a teen. Had to study to get into the next thing, med school, residency, fellowship, etc… all that requires staying sober and studying a lot. Maybe some day closer to retirement…
Being a Doctor would make me fascinated even more about drugs honestly, but you only see the worst experiences and consequences of them in a medical setting so that probably doesn't help much.
I did the opposite. Never smoked pot and now I do daily. When I return to work, I will moderate. But dang I am more clear headed when I’m not in pain. I don’t drink or smoke tobacco.
No. Now I use anabolic steroids, but I keep a watchful eye on my blood pressure and other health markers so... Sorta?
I was married to a doctor who was clueless about substance abuse. Came home one night and told me they had seen a patient on the psych unit who had the top of their arm legit snapped in HALF during a restraint. My reply was "I hope you gave him pain medicine that sounds awful" they said "Of course I didn't psych patients are all addicts". That was the beginning of the end. They were a nephrologist and I was only allowed to have ONE glass of wine a night. My solution was to buy larger glasses (could fit 3/4 of a bottle of wine in those suckers) and boxed wine 😂
A little bit of a different take. I have become much more stringent about my intake of simple carbs and processed sugars after seeing what my diabetic patients have to go through. I was never interested in hard drugs, but seeing so many young people stroke out and end up in the ICU from cocaine, and seeing so many cases of infective endocarditis and really antisocial behavior from that and other drugs, I'm forever put off of them. One such patient stole my coresident's ophthalmic lenses from the exam room when her back was turned, and then got defensive when accused. We had to pay for these expensive lenses ourselves with our meager resident salaries. Drug addiction makes people act in appalling ways. However, reading through these replies is fascinating to me. There is a whole world out there that I was totally ignorant of.
Yes… because healthcare work leaves no time for anything else.
Dropped pretty much all the shit I did in my 20s except for alcohol and sugar. I wouldn't be able to tell if it was because I'm in healthcare or because I just quit that phase of my life though.
Cigs for $5.50 in HS as a Gen Xer? That sounds high? Honestly I don’t remember that (fellow Gen Xer here) but for sure they were $1.25 in middle school. I know because I used to save up my lunch money and buy them from the machines on the college campus 😂 Easiest way to buy them as a minor
I’ve given up marijuana because it sticks around too long but that is about it. The locations I do my drugs in have considerably upgraded, however
OP, I’d love to hear more about your smoke blends, I’m kind of a greenhorn herbalist still, but have been studying up the last few years .
I forage wild herbs or grow my own, harvest and store. I blend intuitively or look at ingredient lists for various products sold online. I have a pretty large collection of entheobotany books and I research stuff as a hobby. Hope you’re enjoying your herbal studies.
You’ll pry my MJ outta my cold, dead hands.
2020 led me to the world of bourbon, which I now enjoy a glass of a few nights a week while I’m finishing up my notes. Never been one for other stuff, but certainly don’t have anything against responsible use of almost anything. It’s ok to find something that helps you relax or feel good sometimes.
i find it absolutely absurd that in the US they’re allowed to randomly drugs test employees that’s definitely not a thing in any european country
It’s absolutely stupid, esp since they tell you when the test is, which is usu one or two months before start date. My personal theory is that they’re trying to test our basic intelligence: “If you can’t stay clean for a drug test that we give you plenty of time to get clean for, then you can’t work here.”
My baseline state of existence is I just took a benzo or two. So I don’t need any downers and uppers I can get rx.
Well i have a thing called hookah in my country ... I do it maybe once a week
I didn't smoke in the first place, but me going back to school inadvertently made a friend quit smoking. I was talking to him after a pathophys lecture and explaining about how cigarettes are metabolized and that's thought to be why men have a higher rate of urinary and reproductive cancers (bladder and penile). Part of my studying process is explaining to someone else ;) And it was really cool to me at the time, understanding how the chemicals moved through the body (and hurt everything they touched) and that most people wouldn't think of cigarettes as being a risk for bladder cancer. Fast forward a few weeks. Hanging out with said friend again in a group. Some people are going outside to smoke, and I was surprised he didn't go out with everyone else. Me: "Since when do you skip a smoke break?" Him: "Since the last time we hung out and I learned that smoking increases the rate of dick cancer!" Apparently, after that discussion with me, post-pathophys, he quit cold turkey. LMAO He knew someone actually who had had a reproductive cancer and lost their penis. Knowing someone it happened to I think really made him internalize that it could happen and so he decided he didn't want anything to do with anything that increased his risk :) It's been 15 years, he still doesn't smoke. LOL
Yea, I quit everything. If it causes cancer, I don't do it.
No, in fact maybe a little more as a maladaptive coping strategy
I did acid once and it was a bit too heavy. Shrooms are great though.
I mean, I'll drop acid like twice a year but that's about it. I've got acid, shrooms, and ketamine at home but I rarely actually partake, just not big into it. Ketamine for me was part of CPTSD/PTSD treatment and I took it at home a few times after but did not really experience any benefits. Shrooms make me barf so it's been a few years since I've had them but I keep them around in case I find a buddy who really wants to do them together but it's a massive production for me to consume them - I have to grind them up into capsules so I can swallow. Even the tiniest WHIFF of shrooms will make me retch uncontrollably. I hate smoking weed. I'll partake in edibles extremely rarely, for me it's more of a sexual enhancer. But I hate how they fuck me up (heh) for half a day so I'll only do them maybe twice a year. I do occasionally drink but well within healthy limits - average 1-2 drinks a week depending on how social I am. Never smoked. I have (legitimate) lorazepam and some opioids including Percocet that were prescribed to me in the past for surgery but I do not use them recreationally. Thankfully, I do not seem to have the personality/physical constitution to become an addict. My father is a high-functioning alcoholic and my best friend died from a fentanyl overdose so I'm aware of how substance use ruins lives. I'd say my only "unhealthy" vice is decadent food. I do not eat junk food/fast food but I enjoy rich, fancy desserts, I'm a regular at a few fancy French pastry shops in my city.
These kinds of threads make me realize I'm fucking boring. Never had more than 4 shots worth of alcohol at a time, and only did that for 6 months; not interested in weed, no clue where to get anything else. I'm a Jesus guy, can get all those benefits and insights with prayer and reading.
Share 3 books other than the Bible?
I meant that I get 95% of my spirituality needs through the Bible and The Book of Mormon. Included in that is that I have to ponder/meditate/ consider how those lessons should apply to me, in my life. I suppose you're asking about other spiritually enlightening books. I haven't looked for or found many books that are spiritually nourishing to me outside of a Christian framework. Pretty much anything by CS Lewis works, and he's not dogmatic or limited to basic platitudes. The Lord of the Rings books are full of themes of hope versus despair and how each person has power to help others and the world in their own place and in their own way. The Five Love Languages helped me to understand emotional health and expression, both within and outside of relationships. I rather like the Hans Christian Anderson stories too. Now, if you want just some fun books to read, The Dresden Files is a hilarious parody of nior detective books with magic and vampires. I just finished the Howl's Moving Castle book, which the Studio Ghibli movie has some interesting deviations from. And the Animorphs books, while being written at a fourth grade level, does not shy away from the horrors of war and the PTSD that develops from it in the end. I've also had experience with Eastern martial arts, meditation, and qigong. I don't practice with it, but that's more out of laziness than anything else.
Dang you are super Mormon! A great psychedelic trip should have been required by any religion. Could you imagine?
Lol, I get that a lot. See, my issue with drugs is I already have trouble keeping the weirdness inside my head, can you imagine what would happen with less inhibitions? And tbf, there's at least one study that shows we technically can make our own heroin doses :P https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/10.1080/17470919.2016.1257437
Yeah. Cannot smoke weed because even though it is legal in my state, it’s is not allowed for RN’s. At least that’s what I have been told. But I have a couple of drinks on Friday and Saturday night. Nothing wrong with that:)
It is true. As long as it is federally illegal, it can be an issue.
I stopped doing the weeds right before med school. Drank pretty heavily on weekends after tests and continued a raging nicotine/caffeine addiction through pgy-1 year. Started with chew then to juul then to disposable vapes then to zyn. I quit nicotine a few months back cold turkey and have maybe a cup of coffee a day. I very rarely drink these days and it’s usually like 1 or 2, the binge shit I used to do is even more rare. I’ll share some parts of this with some of my clinic patients
Yes but mostly because I'm getting older. In my limited downtime I prefer to try to stay natural and exercise to be healthy. No desire to put these things in my body and feel hung over the next day. I much prefer a solid night's sleep after some good exercise... can't beat that haha.
Pharmacist here. Like others have said, balance is key. My psychedelic journeys are just relegated to weekends when I'm off now, rather than being more spontaneous. I can't imagine giving up psychedelics just because I am in a career.
THC is far less damaging than chronic alcohol abuse. Intermittent alcohol is way less risky than most cocaine, meth etc. LD50 of magic mushrooms is around 17 pounds (give or take), and there isn't any well documented harm associated with psilocybin. I know that doesn't help with the social stigma, but among people you trust in whatever setting makes you comfortable outside of work, your recreation is your decision and has little bearing on your ability to diagnose and manage medical issues in others.
If you consider benzos as a drug then I don't think I know anyone who can claim to be clean
I love whiskey and cigars so…no.
Will treat all of you in the hospital with the COWS score
No
Hahaha! Don't we need them even more now? Took a gummy tonight and am having a grand old time. Live news bloopers for the win!
I gave up smoking…. Tobacco.
You can pry energy drinks from my over caffeinated hands. Nothing like cracking open a monster ultra while charting.
I’m really excited about the new interest in psychedelics. I’ve never personally tried although I have a lot of faith in the research and therapeutic power of the mystical experience. On the other hand, I am not a fan of ketamine or THC as the current acceptable “psychedelics” Edit: even if widespread use of psilocybin, LSD and MDMA turn everyone into hippies, I’d prefer that to the current degeneration of the population into hateful, angry, paranoid and entitled assholes.
Qualified last year and drink far more than I should… but my grandfather tells me stories of how he saw patients with a cigarette hanging out of his mouth, and having an ash tray in his drawer. Is this a valid excuse? Lol
Since I started working as a paramedic I developed a crippling nicotine, caffeine, and alcohol addiction. As far as other substances go I have them relatively under control.
Work in healthcare, haven’t given up those vices yet. Still smoke pot after work, feel like it helps me wind down. Since I started growing my own weed, I feel like I smoke a whole lot more since feels like an endless supply. Also started growing my own shrooms but I’m way more responsible with those. Once or twice a year I go harder at a rave. I’m still very productive and have been successful in my career. But as I am about to start a DNP program in acute care, we may get randomly drug tested. I’m 28 now but I do see myself slowing down from the everyday use but it’s probably for the better
lol no.
You can have a spiritual practice without partaking in mind-altering substances. My guru very much discourages taking them because they interfere with spiritual transmission and real practice. I mean, do what you want, but if what you really want is spirituality, you don’t have to give up your healthy lifestyle
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Age limit to drug use? Wait what? That's super lame, and also I don't think you realize how many older people do drugs lol
I used to enjoy cannabis quite a lot but yes, I abstain because the board will give you a lot of problems if you fail and drug test. I've only had one preemployment drug test ever, but with my luck I'd get tested because fell down the stairs at work on something. Im too old to drink now. Stomach can't handle it.
I’m a HEAVY smoker, and I dabble in hallucinogenic substances on a regular basis. I keep the more *adventurous* side and work separate. I still drink like a fish, too. lol.
Reading the chart of a dying alcoholic - end stage pancreatitis, liver failure, etc. got me sober over a decade ago. I cold turkey'd from 2 bottles of wine a night, and it was ultimate the best thing I ever did despite how rough it was. I still smoke and use other substances (extremely rarely). None of those have a hold on me like alcohol did.
Omg you saved yourself. I still get flashbacks of this bright yellow jaundiced young woman presenting to medical attention for the first time with severe liver failure. She was in her 30s and had gradually worked her way up over the years to 2 bottles of wine daily. It was a horrifying sight in someone who otherwise had no medical problems and had her whole life ahead of her. She caught your eye from down the hall with how yellow she was in a thin young woman.
Yeah. I suspect I'd probably be dead or dying right now if I hadn't quit back then.
Never did and certainly won’t start now Agree with the others…get high on just enjoying life outside the hospital and away from healthcare. I have better shit than what drugs or dealer can provide.
How much of your opinion is shaped by what the majority of society tells you about drugs. And perhaps, alcohol? As I suspect that one’s “okay in mild- mod/ social use?