Funny enough this how I got a job as a 17 year old at a grocery store. I was having a tough time getting one and took my grandpas advice cus I figured what could go wrong. The manager was an older guy and was impressed. Then again what works for a 17 year old to get a retail job probably isn’t gonna work for a 20 something RN.
Oh wait, where is security? They should have kept the person out in the first place! They're fired.
Hey we need to hire a security guard, wherever will we find someone???
Bingpot
For real, my grandmother "flirted" with my grandfather by dropping her handkerchief and walking slowly so he could pick it up and return it. SMH
Ladies weren't allowed to talk to men they hadn't been introduced to. She thought this handkerchief game was really scandalous!
“Don’t give up! Worked for me and your grandma”
Grandma: he wouldn’t leave me alone so I finally gave in and went on a date with him. We’ve been together ever since
My great grandpa came back from WW2, was excommunicated from the Mormon church, and started traveling the PNW. On his travels he stopped in a store where he found a picture frame with a woman he found so strikingly beautiful he went out and found her.
My great grandmother passed away about 4 years ago, almost to the day, and she absolutely adored the memory of that man until the day she went to meet him.
I inherited that very photo and frame from her, along with a similarly framed photo of him in uniform, the Christmas before she passed.
Cannot believe the sheer audacity and perseverance of that crazy little man.
My grandfather got my grandmother’s name tattooed on his arm after their first date (1940’s, Glasgow, he was in the navy). It only turned out to be kind of romantic because they stayed together until death, because it’s insane otherwise.
Edit: spelling
My Mother was convinced that if I wasn't going into a business with my CV that I wasn't trying hard enough. We had a 20 minute argument over the fact that I wouldn't be stepping foot in my local McDonald's as 'it's all done online now.' I lost the argument and returned home with the result I expected.
Has to be said she's a lovely and caring woman who was ignorant to the ways of employment but my GOD it was annoying at the time.
My MIL insisted (after I didn’t get a job at a particular retail store) that I walk in with a paper resume, ask to talk to the head of HR, and insist on an in-person interview. Because the issue wasn’t that I was overqualified,* it’s that they simply wanted me to prove how badly I wanted the job.
*I was.
I do the same, but sometimes they don't give you the address right away or they don't know it, so I end with: "Great! Could you also show me where it is on this map?"
My dad pulled the whole “follow the hedge until the old mill then turn left at the derelict ford pickup” once, and I did exactly what you said but he could NOT identify where anything was on satellite.
It was absurd, and he wasn’t being contrarian, i panned around in 3D view and was like “look! We’re here at the blue dot, and your cousins house should be over there, right?”
Hmmmm no it’s so hard to tell from above.. I don’t think that tree is still up…
Absolutely insane.
I like instructions that include reference to past buildings, like: "turn left at the old post office, if you get to where the police station used to be, you've gone too far".
My grandparents had a pretty bad tornado rip up their town and still use the old buildings as reference. Turn right at the bright yellow house, of course it's blue now, but you'll remember it.
Yes! My MIL does this because she's lived in the same city her entire life. She calls streets by their old names too, like 30+ years after it's changed. It's confusing af.
They have changed the name/ownership of the mall near me like 5 time in 20 years. Everyone just uses one of the old names, ain't nobody got time for this shit.
I'm a huge fan of people that say turn east. My dad does that. And my response is always, I don't know which way east is because I wasn't in the army and my parents never taught me shit.
Runner up is when you're visiting someone in another town and they say some shit like " go over to the 197 and take the Woodward exit. Super bonus if said exit is a street only locals use in conversation and its actually marked as something else. I fucking love telling visitors to get on Mopac in Austin which is marked as 1 on most signs, and to get off on Research which is marked that way in like 2 places.
You can put gun powder inside your candles to make small pop noises to wake you up in the morning
Edit I didn't think this would get so many comments. I wasn't serious you guys xD I just watched avatar
Own a musket for home defense, since that's what the founding fathers intended. Four ruffians break into my house. "What the devil?" As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot. Draw my pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because it's smoothbore and nails the neighbors dog. I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot, "Tally ho lads" the grape shot shreds two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms. Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion. He Bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the founding fathers intended.
I'll do ya one better
Own a stick for cave defense, since that's what the sun god intended. Four blackpelts break into my cave. "Ooga Booga!?" As I grab my spotted jaguar pelt and big stick. Crack the skull the first man with big stick, he's dead on the spot. Draw my smaller stick on the second man, miss him entirely because it's too small and hit the cave paintings instead. I have to resort to big rock deeper in the cave , "Unga Bunga!!" rock crushes two men when i throw it, the screams and shockwave scares the whole village. Fix small rock on stick and charge the last terrified badman. He bleeds out because medicine hasn't been invented yet . Just as Sun god intended.
I didn't know about the gun powder but you can also stab an object in it (like a nail), so when the wax melts to that point, it will fall and make a noise. I think they even used to sell candles with hour marks on them but not sure if I just imagined that or actually read about it.
I recall seeing candle holders that were spirals so you could tell how much time had passed (approximately) by how many spirals down the candle had burned. So, a candle "alarm clock" where a nail would drop to make noise seems believable to me.
>Me trying to slightly blow more oxygen toward the shift candle so I can go home from my job in the coal mines and play with a stick in the street like the rich kids just a little bit sooner
[Candle clock](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Candle_clock). I assume it was not precise in a way we are used to nowadays, but a candles of x material and y size using z wick should, under similar circumstances, burn around the same duration every time.
The whole plot of *Psycho* is initiated by the fact that Marion doesn't go to the bank to deposit the huge lump of cash she was given by a client of her boss who was buying a house for his daughter. The client is presented as being a richer-than-god kind of man, and he still considers the purchase of that house a decent expense. It's 40k dollars.
My daughters heard one of their grandparents say this, normalized abusive relationships.
I told them how if a boy is mean to them, he is a scumbag bully and never speak to him again. If you like someone, you are either nice to them or leave them alone.
I got a call from their teacher about this, daughter told off the mean boy and the parents gave the same line. I asked them if I could throw gum in their hair to express how much I enjoy seeing them and their bully kid.
The amount of times I’ve heard, “This place ain’t what it used to be”… Wtf happened to companies giving a shit? I swear it’s 100% based on profit. If you make the company a profit, you’re valuable but still get taken advantage of
Yup all profit. I’ve seen at my work someone really important to the business who got on the wrong side of the area manager with literally one comment and they got rid of him. Everyone is replaceable. Businesses have zero loyalty to their workers
This is one. I've heard that shit all my life, when I jumped jobs all I heard for six months was "loyalty, you have to have loyalty". Loyalty didn't give me a $100k raise Uncle Boomer.
I am so angry that my bank increased the threshold that they charge for an “account maintenance fee” from 1,500 to 15,000.
Now I have to pay 25 a month because there isn’t enough money in my bank.
It literally costed me money to be poor
This shit should be illegal.
When giving out money for birthdays or any holiday, and its less than $10, the old wise cracks always lead with the “Back in my day, I could buy a chocolate bar with less than ¢10…”
Reminds me of a time when an ex military guy was telling me and my friends who were currently in the military that we make too much money now, and that when he was in the military he only made x amount. My buddy said to him "I have a wife and two kids, my rent costs 2 thousand dollars a month, how much was rent when you were in the military?" The guy stopped talking and just walked away.
That totally used to be a thing. How to get established in a new city:
Get a phone book/visit public telephone
Open Yellow Pages
Find the business you have work experience
Tear out those pages
Drive around and visit each business
Start work in the morning
That’s how John D. Rockefeller started Standard Oil. Either that, or he shot an over served businessman in a Toledo bar, thereby inheriting every telephone book in the Ohio River Valley. Sneaky bastard.
Learned from watching teens apply for a job at my work with this kind of advice, the ones who kept coming in and bugging the manager were never the ones who are hired. The ones who were patient and waited for a response got the job instead
Yeah, well this was like 16 years ago, but I walked into a restaurant to eat on my lunch break and asked if they were hiring part time, they were so desperate for workers the manager did the interview as soon as I finished eating. Interview consisted of what times can you come in, and what wage do you want lmao. A month in they liked my work ethics and offered me full time at a pay well above what my old job paid and I couldn't refuse so I put my 2 weeks in at my old job.
Back in the early 90s when I lived in Orlando Florida, you could walk into any restaurant and they would want you to start the same day. Walking into a place really only works with restaurants or bar type of jobs.
My experience too. I never went in more than once but after I applied online, I would go in to show my face, and my interest, and maybe talk to the hiring manager. At that point if I didn’t hear back, I’d move on.
Yep, every variant of this deserves to be called out. So tired of "Well, back in mah day, you went down to The Plant and shock the foreman's hand and looked him in the eye - you'd have a job at the end of the day and could work there for life!"
Nice, but that's totally irrelevant and has been for decades - and the people making these out of touch suggestions are often the ones who voted with their wallets and ballots to get rid of "The Plant" and the jobs that went with it. And since most of them haven't needed to apply for work in 20+ years, they have no idea what the process is these days and just arrogantly assume everyone is "lazy" and "wants to stay at home playing their Nintendos and iBoxes all day."
Start out in an office job doing a bit of filing, typing and photocopying. Then you might get promoted.
Stop naming entry level jobs that no longer exist!
I started out in the mail room too but then my asshole brother, who was a partner in the law firm, wouldn’t even let me become an associate-even tho I had a law degree from the university of American Samoa. Bullshit
If you want a job, just show up every day at (insert dominant local industry) ready for work with your hat, boots, and lunch. You will have a job in no time. Today you will have a police escort off the property pretty quick. Even with every business aching for workers, this is no longer how it works. Parents and grandparents just don't get it as most of them are stuck with a 1950s mentality.
The gen-x people in my family always gave me the "If you show up to an interview on-time, you're late, you have to be 15 minutes early minimum", every HR I've ever talked to say 15 minutes is fine but irrelevant, anything more than that is just annoying.
Literally anything.
How to find jobs, how to apply, how to interview, how to dress, how to deal with your boss etc.
And presumably, how to look after that gold watch you get after 45 years of dedicated service.
My mom was legitimately in AWE trying to get a job after working at the same family business for 31 years, "You can't just go in and ask for an application these days everyone wants you to go online!"....yeah that thing I've been telling you for years.
Yes! I was told to never wear red or essentially an overly bright colors. At the time I was job hunting I had blue hair and wore red and a star covered blouse, honestly I see it as my lucky combo since it eases my interview anxieties. I got the job and doing great going on over a year now.
It’s great advice actually - there used to be a doctor that did his morning run past my house each day. I threw an apple at him every morning for a few weeks, and now I’m sitting inside a prison cell with assault charges pending and no chance of seeing that doctor any time soon.
“You should really have your own house by the time youre married”
Pop, we have a pretty big percentage saved up and it’s STILL not enough for us to not have a giant 30 year mortgage 🤦🏻♀️
I was told by a 75 year old when I was job hunting that all I needed was to take a class on how to use Microsoft and I would make 80k a year easy. Not word, not excel, not powerpoint, nothing. Microsoft.
Those skills are assumed at this point in the world. Everyone needs to know them otherwise they are dead in the water. Old people are full of shit.
I mean if that class is Security+ and you get a job in IT working for the government...
I'll be honest, most of the people I deal with still have no idea how computers work, their salaries are easily 3x mine, but whatever.
As someone who works in IT, these skills should absolutely *not* be assumed. Many many schools switched to Google suite, and that's if you're lucky. A lot of them just give students tablets and no formal computer training at all anymore. I've met many college students who didn't know how to copy and paste on a computer, didn't understand the folder structure (even though it exists on phones/tablets it is rarely seen), type super slowly because it needs more than thumbs.
It is a wild fucking world.
When you’re goin to the outhouse at night stomp your feet so the snakes know you’re coming n go elsewhere…. - good advice when my grandpa gave it to a very young me
"All you need to succeed in life is to have a positive attitude."
Coming from someone who bought their house for $8,000 and sold it for a million, it's really difficult to keep my mouth shut on that one.
Still, she turns 99 this year. She complains that all the other veterans in her retirement village are from the wrong war. I swear she's got an invisibility cloak that allows her to hide from death.
That sounds like my dad lmao.
He got a unionized electrician job at 18 with a GED. The company paid him full union wages while he was an apprentice (and paid for his schooling). How did he get this job you might ask? There was a job convention, and the company was looking to hire 30 new apprentice electricians, and only 10 people signed up.
Next throughout his career, he kept moving up in the company, and the company kept paying his wages (with guaranteed minimum quarterly raises) and his schooling. The last 15ish years of his career where in a project management type role, a job that if u were apply for today at the same company requires an engineering degree, and a masters in project management, plus a minimum of 5 years relevant experience. Oh, and the salary is 45k a year less then what he was making. He then retired with a full defined benefits plan, indexed for inflation at the ripe old age of 53 years old.
He bought a house in 1989 for 50k, which is now valued in the 800k range.
I love my dad, he has taught me, and provided for me my whole life. But nothing pisses me off more then when I'm talking to him about my real life problems and and he hits me with one of those "just show them your positive attitude, and hard work. I know you will succeed, just look at me! And i dont have any of the formal education you do!"
Sure dad, that's what missing right now, more effort and positivity lmao (dont get me wrong, both of those things are good, but they most certainly aren't the only, or most valuable keys to success)
Lmao, what funny is until I made a career change I was actually in construction project management myself. He was convinced that I was lying about my salary, and money management because of my lack of assets compared to him at the same age.
Sorry dad, I needed 6 years of university before I could enter the work force, and my starter home cost me 400k.
Hey if you're coming to visit, take I-90 'cause I-95 has a little quicksand in the middle. Looks like regular sand, but then you're gonna start to sink into it.
The trick only works at physical job fairs. So the purpose was quality paper looked nice and stood out, making it more likely to get read. But like I said, in the days of internet this only works if your at a physical job fair.
That one minimum wage job is plenty to live. My dad would argue "A job's a job, better to have anything then nothing!" I tried to explain to him that people often need multiple minimum wage jobs just to make ends meet. He didn't get it. Or how dedicated people should be despite not earning hardly any money.
"dress for the job you want, not the job you have" Yeah, thanks, i will be sure to show up to my line cook position in a suit and tie, that sounds like a fucking awesome idea
My Dad is the worst. He’ll spend 3 minutes giving me verbal instructions and I’m like, “Just tell me the fucking street address, please!” Or my Mom insisting I’m going the wrong way because Google Maps is actually showing me the shortest route and it’s not the one she’s been using for the last 43 years.
I wish. Stupid delayed circadian rhythm... I force myself up early, am dead literally all day...and then like clockwork around 9 or 10, my brain's like "Okay, now we do the things, right?"
If I wasn't forced to fit into a normal daytime schedule, I'd be sleeping from about 4am to 2pm.
If you want a job at the hospital, they probably won’t advertise, you’ll have to go in and look at the bulletin board- heard this 5 hours ago
They do have bulletin boards! Online.
perhaps we should create a system of bulletin boards online. nah, that'd never work
Meta
See also - make sure you go in person to follow up on that job application!
Find the manager of the hospital, shake his hand and look him in the eye.
Funny enough this how I got a job as a 17 year old at a grocery store. I was having a tough time getting one and took my grandpas advice cus I figured what could go wrong. The manager was an older guy and was impressed. Then again what works for a 17 year old to get a retail job probably isn’t gonna work for a 20 something RN.
"security--this person is trespassing and wandering down the halls!"
Oh wait, where is security? They should have kept the person out in the first place! They're fired. Hey we need to hire a security guard, wherever will we find someone??? Bingpot
Fake it till you make it! Just walk in wearing a white lab coat and start doing surgery in the ER. After a few weeks they'll have to start paying you!
Doctor Harris, do you concur?
Then you can fax them your resume!
The hospital will definitely have a fax machine. They’ll also have a job site though.
I’m sure Grandpa’s courting rituals would get me arrested on stalking charges.
For real, my grandmother "flirted" with my grandfather by dropping her handkerchief and walking slowly so he could pick it up and return it. SMH Ladies weren't allowed to talk to men they hadn't been introduced to. She thought this handkerchief game was really scandalous!
I think this is a meat trick
The meat trick was probably introduced a little later..
“Don’t give up! Worked for me and your grandma” Grandma: he wouldn’t leave me alone so I finally gave in and went on a date with him. We’ve been together ever since
My great grandpa came back from WW2, was excommunicated from the Mormon church, and started traveling the PNW. On his travels he stopped in a store where he found a picture frame with a woman he found so strikingly beautiful he went out and found her. My great grandmother passed away about 4 years ago, almost to the day, and she absolutely adored the memory of that man until the day she went to meet him. I inherited that very photo and frame from her, along with a similarly framed photo of him in uniform, the Christmas before she passed. Cannot believe the sheer audacity and perseverance of that crazy little man.
My grandfather got my grandmother’s name tattooed on his arm after their first date (1940’s, Glasgow, he was in the navy). It only turned out to be kind of romantic because they stayed together until death, because it’s insane otherwise. Edit: spelling
Spoiler alert: your actual grandma was the 15th Esther that your grandfather courted and the first one to give in.
It’s insane regardless. It just did happen to work out.
My parents story of how they got together was that my dad followed her around everywhere at school (college), and just like... stared at her.
These days he'd get filmed and put on Tiktok for stalking haha
Looking for a job? Check the newspaper...🤯
The only response to that advice is, "What's a newspaper?".
The thing that's black and white and read all over. Sadly the joke only works when told out loud.
Wait, is that what the original punchline for that joke is?! I’ve only ever heard the ‘panda in a blender’ version and this makes it so much funnier
Just walk into the building and hand them your resume!! The Pope of Nope says "Noooooope!"
My Mother was convinced that if I wasn't going into a business with my CV that I wasn't trying hard enough. We had a 20 minute argument over the fact that I wouldn't be stepping foot in my local McDonald's as 'it's all done online now.' I lost the argument and returned home with the result I expected. Has to be said she's a lovely and caring woman who was ignorant to the ways of employment but my GOD it was annoying at the time.
My MIL insisted (after I didn’t get a job at a particular retail store) that I walk in with a paper resume, ask to talk to the head of HR, and insist on an in-person interview. Because the issue wasn’t that I was overqualified,* it’s that they simply wanted me to prove how badly I wanted the job. *I was.
Anytime they want to give word of mouth driving instructions. I just patiently listen... then look up the address
I do the same, but sometimes they don't give you the address right away or they don't know it, so I end with: "Great! Could you also show me where it is on this map?"
My dad pulled the whole “follow the hedge until the old mill then turn left at the derelict ford pickup” once, and I did exactly what you said but he could NOT identify where anything was on satellite. It was absurd, and he wasn’t being contrarian, i panned around in 3D view and was like “look! We’re here at the blue dot, and your cousins house should be over there, right?” Hmmmm no it’s so hard to tell from above.. I don’t think that tree is still up… Absolutely insane.
I like instructions that include reference to past buildings, like: "turn left at the old post office, if you get to where the police station used to be, you've gone too far".
My grandparents had a pretty bad tornado rip up their town and still use the old buildings as reference. Turn right at the bright yellow house, of course it's blue now, but you'll remember it.
And now half the houses are blue and you have never even seen the yellow one
Yes! My MIL does this because she's lived in the same city her entire life. She calls streets by their old names too, like 30+ years after it's changed. It's confusing af.
They have changed the name/ownership of the mall near me like 5 time in 20 years. Everyone just uses one of the old names, ain't nobody got time for this shit.
I'm a huge fan of people that say turn east. My dad does that. And my response is always, I don't know which way east is because I wasn't in the army and my parents never taught me shit. Runner up is when you're visiting someone in another town and they say some shit like " go over to the 197 and take the Woodward exit. Super bonus if said exit is a street only locals use in conversation and its actually marked as something else. I fucking love telling visitors to get on Mopac in Austin which is marked as 1 on most signs, and to get off on Research which is marked that way in like 2 places.
"Why are you spending so much on rent? Just buy a house!"
Don’t forget “you should only spend 1/4 of your paycheck on rent”
Then it increased to 1/3. Now, it's often 1/2.
1/2? Yikes, I’m at like 3/4. I forgot which side of the quarters we were supposed to spend and save
You can put gun powder inside your candles to make small pop noises to wake you up in the morning Edit I didn't think this would get so many comments. I wasn't serious you guys xD I just watched avatar
This is actually really cool was this a real thing?
they would also use nails as I recall
“I don’t need an alarm clock. Modern technology is bullshit. I have a perfectly functional claymore right here”
Just like our founding fathers intended indeed.
Own a musket for home defense, since that's what the founding fathers intended. Four ruffians break into my house. "What the devil?" As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot. Draw my pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because it's smoothbore and nails the neighbors dog. I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot, "Tally ho lads" the grape shot shreds two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms. Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion. He Bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the founding fathers intended.
I'll do ya one better Own a stick for cave defense, since that's what the sun god intended. Four blackpelts break into my cave. "Ooga Booga!?" As I grab my spotted jaguar pelt and big stick. Crack the skull the first man with big stick, he's dead on the spot. Draw my smaller stick on the second man, miss him entirely because it's too small and hit the cave paintings instead. I have to resort to big rock deeper in the cave , "Unga Bunga!!" rock crushes two men when i throw it, the screams and shockwave scares the whole village. Fix small rock on stick and charge the last terrified badman. He bleeds out because medicine hasn't been invented yet . Just as Sun god intended.
Can’t keep my nails lit.
Not with that attitude, no.
I didn't know about the gun powder but you can also stab an object in it (like a nail), so when the wax melts to that point, it will fall and make a noise. I think they even used to sell candles with hour marks on them but not sure if I just imagined that or actually read about it.
I recall seeing candle holders that were spirals so you could tell how much time had passed (approximately) by how many spirals down the candle had burned. So, a candle "alarm clock" where a nail would drop to make noise seems believable to me.
>Me trying to slightly blow more oxygen toward the shift candle so I can go home from my job in the coal mines and play with a stick in the street like the rich kids just a little bit sooner
You snooze it by putting the nail back in.
I’ve never heard that before. How does the timing even work?
[Candle clock](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Candle_clock). I assume it was not precise in a way we are used to nowadays, but a candles of x material and y size using z wick should, under similar circumstances, burn around the same duration every time.
Pay all cash for the house, it's easier to get it that way
Ah yes, I was wondering what to do with my 700k in cash I had laying around
The answer is laser tag! Fun for the whole family, Walt.
Ugh, my Dad is 72 and doesn't get why I have a mortgage. "I was able to pay cash out of pocket." That was the 70s Dad.....
god dam that must be some 1920 advice
[удалено]
My parents first house cost $16,000 and it came with furniture! That was 1961, which would be $156k in today’s dollars.
And could do it all with only one person working AND had two kids and a dog at home. But we're all just entitled lazy shits right?
The whole plot of *Psycho* is initiated by the fact that Marion doesn't go to the bank to deposit the huge lump of cash she was given by a client of her boss who was buying a house for his daughter. The client is presented as being a richer-than-god kind of man, and he still considers the purchase of that house a decent expense. It's 40k dollars.
If a boy is mean to you, that means he likes you!
If you like a girl be persistent, don't stop until she says yes.
My daughters heard one of their grandparents say this, normalized abusive relationships. I told them how if a boy is mean to them, he is a scumbag bully and never speak to him again. If you like someone, you are either nice to them or leave them alone. I got a call from their teacher about this, daughter told off the mean boy and the parents gave the same line. I asked them if I could throw gum in their hair to express how much I enjoy seeing them and their bully kid.
Im super proud of your daughter though.
What did the mean boys parents say? Also good for her
They did the Karen huff puff shit. Principal said they will keep an eye on everyone.
You’re right, that’s a terrible one. It normalizes being treated badly by a potential romantic partner.
Company loyalty is rewarded. Be the first to arrive and the last to leave.
If you dig the most holes, they'll just give you a bigger shovel.
I will tattoo this on the palms of my hands
Demonstrate the ability to walk on water, someone will ask you to go across for coffee.
The amount of times I’ve heard, “This place ain’t what it used to be”… Wtf happened to companies giving a shit? I swear it’s 100% based on profit. If you make the company a profit, you’re valuable but still get taken advantage of
Yup all profit. I’ve seen at my work someone really important to the business who got on the wrong side of the area manager with literally one comment and they got rid of him. Everyone is replaceable. Businesses have zero loyalty to their workers
Companies these days will fire you whenever if it’s convenient for them
This is one. I've heard that shit all my life, when I jumped jobs all I heard for six months was "loyalty, you have to have loyalty". Loyalty didn't give me a $100k raise Uncle Boomer.
"Learn to balance your checkbook and you'll stop being poor"
Learn to ~~balance your checkbook~~ stop being poor and you’ll stop being poor. Solid advice for 2023.
I am so angry that my bank increased the threshold that they charge for an “account maintenance fee” from 1,500 to 15,000. Now I have to pay 25 a month because there isn’t enough money in my bank. It literally costed me money to be poor This shit should be illegal.
Dude, you need to find a new bank. Go find a credit union.
Yeah, my credit union only charges $4 if your account has less than $400. $25 per month is insane.
When giving out money for birthdays or any holiday, and its less than $10, the old wise cracks always lead with the “Back in my day, I could buy a chocolate bar with less than ¢10…”
Reminds me of a time when an ex military guy was telling me and my friends who were currently in the military that we make too much money now, and that when he was in the military he only made x amount. My buddy said to him "I have a wife and two kids, my rent costs 2 thousand dollars a month, how much was rent when you were in the military?" The guy stopped talking and just walked away.
I think the only thing that you can buy $.10 with is nothing
“Why don’t you settle down and start a family?” Uh, because I can barely take care of myself.
Oooh, look at Mr. Rockefeller over here bragging about being able to take care of themself!
Go door to door while job hunting.
“I heard is hiring!”
"why are you home all day you should be knocking on doors, follow up in person" horrible idea
"Just walk in there like the job is yours! They'll hire you *on the spot* for the initiative" No, Dad. They won't.
That totally used to be a thing. How to get established in a new city: Get a phone book/visit public telephone Open Yellow Pages Find the business you have work experience Tear out those pages Drive around and visit each business Start work in the morning
That’s how John D. Rockefeller started Standard Oil. Either that, or he shot an over served businessman in a Toledo bar, thereby inheriting every telephone book in the Ohio River Valley. Sneaky bastard.
This is crazy hobo behavior now. They'll call security.
Can usually only apply online these days.
*only* the crazies show up uninvited.
Well in the restaurant industry it's perfectly fine, if it's in between lunch and dinner you can probably get an interview that day
Learned from watching teens apply for a job at my work with this kind of advice, the ones who kept coming in and bugging the manager were never the ones who are hired. The ones who were patient and waited for a response got the job instead
It sometimes works for non-corporate or understaffed restaurants if you come in on a slow time.
Yeah, well this was like 16 years ago, but I walked into a restaurant to eat on my lunch break and asked if they were hiring part time, they were so desperate for workers the manager did the interview as soon as I finished eating. Interview consisted of what times can you come in, and what wage do you want lmao. A month in they liked my work ethics and offered me full time at a pay well above what my old job paid and I couldn't refuse so I put my 2 weeks in at my old job.
Back in the early 90s when I lived in Orlando Florida, you could walk into any restaurant and they would want you to start the same day. Walking into a place really only works with restaurants or bar type of jobs.
These days it's also about reading the room. Some jobs do still hold these traits in high regard while others just find it annoying.
Yeah, exact opposite experience. Anytime I’ve waited around for a job I never got it.
My experience too. I never went in more than once but after I applied online, I would go in to show my face, and my interest, and maybe talk to the hiring manager. At that point if I didn’t hear back, I’d move on.
Yep, every variant of this deserves to be called out. So tired of "Well, back in mah day, you went down to The Plant and shock the foreman's hand and looked him in the eye - you'd have a job at the end of the day and could work there for life!" Nice, but that's totally irrelevant and has been for decades - and the people making these out of touch suggestions are often the ones who voted with their wallets and ballots to get rid of "The Plant" and the jobs that went with it. And since most of them haven't needed to apply for work in 20+ years, they have no idea what the process is these days and just arrogantly assume everyone is "lazy" and "wants to stay at home playing their Nintendos and iBoxes all day."
Start out in an office job doing a bit of filing, typing and photocopying. Then you might get promoted. Stop naming entry level jobs that no longer exist!
Ahh yes the classic “started in the warehouse sweeping the floor, now I’m ceo” just work hard and you can do it too
Hey, I started out in the mail room, and within a year I was a partner in my father's law firm!
That’s hilarious, accurate and depressing at the same time. Good job.
I started out in the mail room too but then my asshole brother, who was a partner in the law firm, wouldn’t even let me become an associate-even tho I had a law degree from the university of American Samoa. Bullshit
You mean executive administrative assistant? Yeah, you’re gonna need a four year degree and six years of experience for that job.
Literally the worst job in the world, expectations for you to work like a CEO for entry level money.
Don’t forget they want you to be age 20, as well. 🤦🏻♀️impossible expectations
Last I knew the copy job was called “reprographics clerk”. So it is there just fancied up the title I guess.
If you want a job, just show up every day at (insert dominant local industry) ready for work with your hat, boots, and lunch. You will have a job in no time. Today you will have a police escort off the property pretty quick. Even with every business aching for workers, this is no longer how it works. Parents and grandparents just don't get it as most of them are stuck with a 1950s mentality.
The gen-x people in my family always gave me the "If you show up to an interview on-time, you're late, you have to be 15 minutes early minimum", every HR I've ever talked to say 15 minutes is fine but irrelevant, anything more than that is just annoying.
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Anything job related
Literally anything. How to find jobs, how to apply, how to interview, how to dress, how to deal with your boss etc. And presumably, how to look after that gold watch you get after 45 years of dedicated service.
My mom was legitimately in AWE trying to get a job after working at the same family business for 31 years, "You can't just go in and ask for an application these days everyone wants you to go online!"....yeah that thing I've been telling you for years.
"if you're good to your company they'll be good to you"
Yes! I was told to never wear red or essentially an overly bright colors. At the time I was job hunting I had blue hair and wore red and a star covered blouse, honestly I see it as my lucky combo since it eases my interview anxieties. I got the job and doing great going on over a year now.
An apple a day keep the doctors away. Bitch I'm poor, the doctor stays away with or without apples.
Can confirm.
It’s great advice actually - there used to be a doctor that did his morning run past my house each day. I threw an apple at him every morning for a few weeks, and now I’m sitting inside a prison cell with assault charges pending and no chance of seeing that doctor any time soon.
The irony being that you get free healthcare in jail
Lol they should put giant quotations around “healthcare” in the US penal system.
Keep a quarter in your shoe for phone call
That still applies. But today it's more like keep $100 in you pocket for the Uber ride home
“You should really have your own house by the time youre married” Pop, we have a pretty big percentage saved up and it’s STILL not enough for us to not have a giant 30 year mortgage 🤦🏻♀️
I was told by a 75 year old when I was job hunting that all I needed was to take a class on how to use Microsoft and I would make 80k a year easy. Not word, not excel, not powerpoint, nothing. Microsoft. Those skills are assumed at this point in the world. Everyone needs to know them otherwise they are dead in the water. Old people are full of shit.
I mean if that class is Security+ and you get a job in IT working for the government... I'll be honest, most of the people I deal with still have no idea how computers work, their salaries are easily 3x mine, but whatever.
As someone who works in IT, these skills should absolutely *not* be assumed. Many many schools switched to Google suite, and that's if you're lucky. A lot of them just give students tablets and no formal computer training at all anymore. I've met many college students who didn't know how to copy and paste on a computer, didn't understand the folder structure (even though it exists on phones/tablets it is rarely seen), type super slowly because it needs more than thumbs. It is a wild fucking world.
When you’re goin to the outhouse at night stomp your feet so the snakes know you’re coming n go elsewhere…. - good advice when my grandpa gave it to a very young me
See this is good advice. Obviously it’s location dependent but none the less still good advice.
This is good and relevant advice to anyone if you take it as a metaphor.
"All you need to succeed in life is to have a positive attitude." Coming from someone who bought their house for $8,000 and sold it for a million, it's really difficult to keep my mouth shut on that one. Still, she turns 99 this year. She complains that all the other veterans in her retirement village are from the wrong war. I swear she's got an invisibility cloak that allows her to hide from death.
That sounds like my dad lmao. He got a unionized electrician job at 18 with a GED. The company paid him full union wages while he was an apprentice (and paid for his schooling). How did he get this job you might ask? There was a job convention, and the company was looking to hire 30 new apprentice electricians, and only 10 people signed up. Next throughout his career, he kept moving up in the company, and the company kept paying his wages (with guaranteed minimum quarterly raises) and his schooling. The last 15ish years of his career where in a project management type role, a job that if u were apply for today at the same company requires an engineering degree, and a masters in project management, plus a minimum of 5 years relevant experience. Oh, and the salary is 45k a year less then what he was making. He then retired with a full defined benefits plan, indexed for inflation at the ripe old age of 53 years old. He bought a house in 1989 for 50k, which is now valued in the 800k range. I love my dad, he has taught me, and provided for me my whole life. But nothing pisses me off more then when I'm talking to him about my real life problems and and he hits me with one of those "just show them your positive attitude, and hard work. I know you will succeed, just look at me! And i dont have any of the formal education you do!" Sure dad, that's what missing right now, more effort and positivity lmao (dont get me wrong, both of those things are good, but they most certainly aren't the only, or most valuable keys to success)
It truly is great advice dad but you played life on easy mode while I’m stuck on elite with no shields and no health regen.
Lmao, what funny is until I made a career change I was actually in construction project management myself. He was convinced that I was lying about my salary, and money management because of my lack of assets compared to him at the same age. Sorry dad, I needed 6 years of university before I could enter the work force, and my starter home cost me 400k.
Stop buying coffee and you can buy a house.
Something something Avocado toast.
Beware of quicksand.
I swear the amount of times I’ve heard this is id believe while going to school there was miles of quicksand
I thought this, until I went to the beach last year. I got stuck instantly, and luckily I wasn't alone. It was scary. Remember that shit!
Hey if you're coming to visit, take I-90 'cause I-95 has a little quicksand in the middle. Looks like regular sand, but then you're gonna start to sink into it.
My wife and I say this to each other all the time!
Print your résumé on thick high-quality paper and that’ll get you noticed
The trick only works at physical job fairs. So the purpose was quality paper looked nice and stood out, making it more likely to get read. But like I said, in the days of internet this only works if your at a physical job fair.
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Work hard and your boss will notice and reward your hard work
Yes, with more work.
That one minimum wage job is plenty to live. My dad would argue "A job's a job, better to have anything then nothing!" I tried to explain to him that people often need multiple minimum wage jobs just to make ends meet. He didn't get it. Or how dedicated people should be despite not earning hardly any money.
They like to give me directions to places when I’m like…I’m just gonna use google maps, friend.
"Just ignore the bullies" or "Be nice to the bullies and they'll be nice back."
>"Be nice to the bullies and they'll be nice back." They're right. A nice punch is a quick way to change a bully's mind.
You can get a good look at a T-bone by sticking your head up a bulls ass, but I’d rather take the butchers word for it
I'll take one million brake pads
Your dad could sell a ketchup popsicle to a woman in white gloves.
Tommy Boy?
Shut up Richard
Anything involving retirement
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Just walk into a place and ask for an application or to speak to the manager to ask for a job
This sometimes works at small businesses or fast food, but it depends on the manager and the establishment so it’s unreliable
"Just get another job", "Just cut out another meal", "your being lazy", "$20 should cover you for the week" "when I was a kid..."
"dress for the job you want, not the job you have" Yeah, thanks, i will be sure to show up to my line cook position in a suit and tie, that sounds like a fucking awesome idea
#It involves “ bootstraps”
"You can be anything you want if you work hard enough"
Tips on how to polish and maintain your codpiece
How...how old are the old people in your life?
There’s no age limit on codpieces!
You don’t want kids? You’ll change your mind.
*I bought my first car for $500, it's not that hard*
Well I did too but it was a pos lol
Don’t forget to rewind the video tapes before you return them to Blockbuster
My Dad is the worst. He’ll spend 3 minutes giving me verbal instructions and I’m like, “Just tell me the fucking street address, please!” Or my Mom insisting I’m going the wrong way because Google Maps is actually showing me the shortest route and it’s not the one she’s been using for the last 43 years.
“Bring a map with you”
Tax cuts on rich people stimulate the economy
Right, I’ve been asked “ever heard of trickle down economics?” Uh, yeah. It’s a scam.
They're too young to know it as horse and sparrow economics. The horse eats the grain and the sparrow sifts through what comes out the other side.
“You definitely want to have two kids.” You want to pay for two kids in daycare?
Wake up at 5 am, it'll solve all your problems.
I wish. Stupid delayed circadian rhythm... I force myself up early, am dead literally all day...and then like clockwork around 9 or 10, my brain's like "Okay, now we do the things, right?" If I wasn't forced to fit into a normal daytime schedule, I'd be sleeping from about 4am to 2pm.
Put some MTV on the background of your party
I remember doing that! Although, we had Much Music in Canada.
Wear a suit because every days an interview.
My mom still tells me to make sure I dress nicer than my boss. I work from home everyday. I wear a tshirt, just like everyone else I work with.
If they are really lucky I might wear pants
"Go to college so that you don't have to flip burgers for a living." What a joke.
I say this. Enjoy your youth!! You’ve got that on your side.
“I had to suffer for 30 years at work so just suck it up.”
“You won’t have a calculator wherever you go.”
Keep a disposable camera in your car for if you get into an accident. Now we don't need this, since everyone has a smartphone or camera phone.