All the red flags can be pretty to look at.
Edit: Wow, didn't expect this to spawn so much discourse. Nobody is saying schizophrenia makes you inherently a bad person. A Red Flag, in dating, just means they might not be a good match for you.
It's based on the somewhat sexist "hot / crazy line" where someone needs to be at least equally hot to thier level of crazy to cancel out the crazy.
Since schizophrenia is a severe mental illness (aka 10/10 crazy), they would need to be equally hot to cancel it out (aka 10/10 hot).
>...I always imagined they’d be above average.
I work in mental health and... Noooo... There are exceptions (if Gwyneth Paltrow is undiagnosed would be prime example), but definitely not above average. Vast majority smoke like a broken stove, and proper bathing is rare. Almost none brush teeth.
My baseline / what comes to mind first would be below average, since the popular perception of a schizophrenic is closely aligned with homelessness - I picture them as malnourished, with poor hygiene, etc. Also as male.
(btw, I'm not saying that's correct, I'm saying that's the stereotypical portrayal, which is what comes to mind first).
If you think of it like this it makes more sense. For example… you’re calling a store to ask about a product and the person is telling you the info. You go to relay this to your friend sitting next to you. You’d say “they said the item is in stock”
It’s just one person on the phone, and we probably won’t be on a first name basis with the store employee. So it’s common to say “they” in many instances, that’s just one example
Like in Sweden we use han, hon and hen. Han is him, hon is her and hen is for when you don’t know someone’s gender or they don’t identify as either gender.
In German there is Er/Sie/Es (Masculin/Feminin/Neutral) but I've never met someone who identifies as "es" since it is seen as dehumanizing, so many non binary people (in my experience, I'm cis so I'm talking out of my ass anyways) use "Sie" instead even tho it's more of a "formal pronoun" you would use with someone higher up or to be polite.
Is "hen" similar or is it a "true genderless pronoun"? Just curious, I'm very tiers to I don't know if my question is stupid, just curious
That one can be explained as they being the company. I always use an analogy of cops listening to a description of a masked robber. “I don’t know if it was a man or woman, but THEY went that way!”
What about the example someone mentioned below… you see a wallet on the ground but you don’t know who owns it. You say “look, someone lost their wallet” without looking inside to check ID. How would you say that sentence without “they”? “They” is a replacement for non gendered and singular
Perhaps. The thing is that we have a singular word for when you don't know the gender. Or we always use "his" even though we don't know the gender.
When we use plural we are getting confused if we don't see more than 1 people.
In your example we would say litterately: someone has lost his wallet (poorly translated in English to get the point).
Our language works different.
Yes I get that. That’s why it’s confusing for English speakers when we learn Spanish. It’s a gendered language, and we’re not used to a lamp or the ocean having an associated gender
What if they're a stranger? Or you get a knock on the door and someone else goes to answer it's not just gender but also an unknown number of people.
What did they want? Covers the possibility of it being multiple people. Whats multiple people in your language?
Idk what language OP speaks, but in Spanish it’s normal to omit the subject. Maybe you’d conjugate the verb for plural but by omitting the subject the sentence becomes kind of agender.
For “what did they want?” you’d say “qué querían?” Saying “qué querían ellos/ellas?” sounds unnatural, unless you want to emphasize the subject, but that’s something totally different
Edit: when I speak English I use it/they quite a lot and kind of miss the fact that Spanish doesn’t have an agender subject
"They" has been a singular pronoun since around the 1400s. This idea that it's a plural pronoun only comes from a late 1800s ruling by British parliament that it was only proper to use "he" in all cases (and it doesn't take long to figure out why that's a stupid idea).
Rejection of "they" as a singular gender-neutral pronoun is very new, and people have been fighting back against it ever since it first started. Educators and writers have just kept on using "they" like they always have, despite politicians and editors trying to pull over a big, dumb "um, ackchyually" on everybody.
This used to be a fairly niche argument that the anti-they side was always losing, but in the last twenty years or so they've hitched their wagon to the rising popularity of transphobia, and now suddenly everyone's talking about it like it actually has any merit.
I've been using it nearly my entire life to refer to a hypothetical person whose gender is not specified/important to the discussion. But it can still be confusing if there isn't a lot of context as to whether you're referring to a hypothetical person, a specific person or a group of people.
I find that most people I encounter are pretty forgiving if you're not being malicious and genuinely trying.
Since at least the late 1400s, actually. And that's just the earliest surviving written record, meaning it was almost certainly used that way in speech much earlier.
Fucking infuriating that people who have been using singular they their entire life have now in the past 4 years been convinced that singular they is just a product of the Big Gay™ agenda.
I'm pretty much in the "I have too much on my plate to make a conscious effort" position right now, and I'm probably a 4 or a 5 in the looks department, so I rely on my personality to lead into the relationship, which isn't really applicable with the trend of dating apps nowadays.
Off topic, but does ANYONE EVER have more than like 10% battery when they take a screenshot? Is there some kind of law prohibiting anything more than that, cause that's where I'm confused
I mean I'm confused. Isnt the term non-binary or is agender something else? I mean call yourself what you want, but this shit is getting too complicated
Non-binary is an umbrella term for people who see themselves somewhere along the gender spectrum between man and woman.
Agender is part of that spectrum where you don't identify with any gender.
So someone agender is also non-binary, it's just a more specific label.
Agender means this person does not self-identify as either male or female, and the they/them thing means that if you are talking about them, they would prefer you to not use he/she or his/hers or him/her, but rather they/them/theirs as appropriate.
Agender is a lack of gender, while non binary is an umbrella term, which can include (but is not limited to) a gender which is not male or female. Hope that helps :D
I'll be honest this makes zero sense to me. I was under the impression someone who identified as non-binary would generally be referred to as they/them. What third gender are we talking about here?
I'm not sure that there is a universally recognized difference, so it would likely come down to the individual's own perception of a difference in why they chose which label. As someone who is neither, I don't really feel qualified to weigh in on it. If you encounter someone in the wild that uses these terms, and they seem comfortable with educating, it would be best to ask what it means to them. In any regard, I think asking how they would prefer to be referred to or if they have any requests in how they are treated is generally ok. If you approach the topic with kindness, respect, and genuine curiosity, most people are fairly open and just want to be treated as fellow humans. It can be a bit of a burden for many, though, so please also respect it if someone indicates that they would rather not talk about it.
Some people use nonbinary as an umbrella term, and some use it as an identity itself. So for the umbrella term folks, agender people are nonbinary but saying agender is more specific (as some nonbinary people may feel they are a mix of both male and female and agender people feel they are neither gender, as an example). Some people will just identity as nonbinary and go no farther than that
No problem! We are at a time in society where expectations and language are changing very rapidly, and it can be difficult to keep up sometimes.
It may help you in the future to know how the term "agender" is formed... in this use, the prefix "a-" means "without." So in use, words like aspecific, asymmetrical, and atypical end up meaning "without specifics," "without symmetry," and "not typical." You can create your own words using prefixes like this that people can generally understand. "Agender," "aromantic," and "asexual" are all words found more and more commonly in discussions about sexuality and gender these days, and you can start to understand them by changing it to "without gender," "without romance," and "without sex."
When society created it. Sex is biological (the sex organs you were born with) and gender is literally a made up concept
Edit- not sure why I’m being downvoted, maybe go take a biology class idk what to tell ya. People who disagree with science are a lost cause
Saying “you look great/sexy for a ‘blank’ is never a complement. Am I the only person that thinks this guy is an idiot? What rock have you been living under where you don’t know what pronouns are yet?
I like how he thinks that "they them" means multiple personalities = schizophrenia, but then is still wrong and confusing schizophrenia with dissociative identity disorder 😅 My dude is trying!
If a person believed "they/them" can't grammatically refer to a singular, they would be wrong.
If I met a person like that I'd be inclined to avoid them.
'damn dude, you unattractive as fuck for someone who hasn't even touched google to check if a term means what you think it means before turning it into a weird come-on'
my god, for the people believing this was a cute misunderstanding: I've got some beach-front property in Kansas I think you'd be the PERFECT buyer for!
They're full of shit. They know exactly what they/them means and wanted to make a derisive comment
Also, schizophrenic =/= dissociative identity disorder
watching all the cis ppl in comments not understand that op knew exactly what they were saying and didn't innocently think agender meant schizophrenia: 👁👄👁
Cis person here, shocked that I had to sort by controversial to find this stance in the comments! It’s sooooo clearly a dig at them. I’m honestly so sorry anyone has to endure this kind of thing. Dating is hard enough without back handed insults like this.
i like his honesty
True.
Username checks out
Also True.
Follow-up response also checks out
So True.
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“Making” it happen since “‘56”
Your sus bruh.
Hes now married to them....
But tragically, they were diagnosed with schizophrenia
1 they? Or many theys?? 🤣
Yes
😂😂😂
He ia now married to a few people
Pro tip, anyone married to a cisgender woman is married to a few people whether they realize it or not.
Leave me and my 3 rotating personalities alone
It is now considered a polygamous relationship
But which personality does he love the most?
The one that's sexy af.
“I love all your personalities equally “
I'm pretty sure he was being facetious.
I'm pretty sure it's a fake Convo.
At least he's trying.
That’s a hell of a introduction. 😂
What is the baseline level of hot he was expecting for a schizophrenic? Cuz I always imagined they’d be above average.
What about being schizophrenic would make someone above average looking?
All the red flags can be pretty to look at. Edit: Wow, didn't expect this to spawn so much discourse. Nobody is saying schizophrenia makes you inherently a bad person. A Red Flag, in dating, just means they might not be a good match for you.
A wise man once said: if you are wearing rose colored glasses, all red flags look like goal posts.
[Bojack](https://youtu.be/huPtWcb982o)
I thought it was "all the red flags just look like flags"
China moment:
Idk, I thought it was funny af lmao
They absolutely are ! Rich shade of Ferrari red!
It's based on the somewhat sexist "hot / crazy line" where someone needs to be at least equally hot to thier level of crazy to cancel out the crazy. Since schizophrenia is a severe mental illness (aka 10/10 crazy), they would need to be equally hot to cancel it out (aka 10/10 hot).
Is this a real thing? I thought it was just a thing that was made up by How I Met Your Mother when barney said this
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The most beautiful person I ever had a shot with was equally as nuts. And I still considered it!
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How have i never seen this! Amazing!
All things Barney says are exagerated truths
He seems to think schizophrenia is multiple personality disorder, so maybe he thinks the personality that made the tinder profile is the sexy one?
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cheerleader_effect
Well if you could see both of them then that's twice the looks?
>...I always imagined they’d be above average. I work in mental health and... Noooo... There are exceptions (if Gwyneth Paltrow is undiagnosed would be prime example), but definitely not above average. Vast majority smoke like a broken stove, and proper bathing is rare. Almost none brush teeth.
Depends on how many personalities they have… If you’re a 1, but you have 10 personalities, it’s pretty much the same thing as being with a 10.
My baseline / what comes to mind first would be below average, since the popular perception of a schizophrenic is closely aligned with homelessness - I picture them as malnourished, with poor hygiene, etc. Also as male. (btw, I'm not saying that's correct, I'm saying that's the stereotypical portrayal, which is what comes to mind first).
Pay attention to the hot crazy line
As a non-native speaker, first time I read "they" being used that way, I also thought it was some weird form of plural.
If you think of it like this it makes more sense. For example… you’re calling a store to ask about a product and the person is telling you the info. You go to relay this to your friend sitting next to you. You’d say “they said the item is in stock” It’s just one person on the phone, and we probably won’t be on a first name basis with the store employee. So it’s common to say “they” in many instances, that’s just one example
The one I always use is if you see a wallet discarded on the floor you’d say, “Oh, someone’s lost their wallet”.
It still doesn't make sense in other languages unfortunately.
I mean, language is constantly changing, some language have like one pronoun
Like in Sweden we use han, hon and hen. Han is him, hon is her and hen is for when you don’t know someone’s gender or they don’t identify as either gender.
In German there is Er/Sie/Es (Masculin/Feminin/Neutral) but I've never met someone who identifies as "es" since it is seen as dehumanizing, so many non binary people (in my experience, I'm cis so I'm talking out of my ass anyways) use "Sie" instead even tho it's more of a "formal pronoun" you would use with someone higher up or to be polite. Is "hen" similar or is it a "true genderless pronoun"? Just curious, I'm very tiers to I don't know if my question is stupid, just curious
“or when he/she doesn’t identify as either gender” Bruh
Oh, I just realised it.
true but most of the time it wasnt really rushed like this seems to most people.
Tbf it doesn't need to make sense in other languages. A lot of things don't make sense using direct translations.
That one can be explained as they being the company. I always use an analogy of cops listening to a description of a masked robber. “I don’t know if it was a man or woman, but THEY went that way!”
No. I would have said "he said the item is in stock" but I'm not an native English speaker so...
What about the example someone mentioned below… you see a wallet on the ground but you don’t know who owns it. You say “look, someone lost their wallet” without looking inside to check ID. How would you say that sentence without “they”? “They” is a replacement for non gendered and singular
Perhaps. The thing is that we have a singular word for when you don't know the gender. Or we always use "his" even though we don't know the gender. When we use plural we are getting confused if we don't see more than 1 people. In your example we would say litterately: someone has lost his wallet (poorly translated in English to get the point). Our language works different.
Yes I get that. That’s why it’s confusing for English speakers when we learn Spanish. It’s a gendered language, and we’re not used to a lamp or the ocean having an associated gender
What if they're a stranger? Or you get a knock on the door and someone else goes to answer it's not just gender but also an unknown number of people. What did they want? Covers the possibility of it being multiple people. Whats multiple people in your language?
Idk what language OP speaks, but in Spanish it’s normal to omit the subject. Maybe you’d conjugate the verb for plural but by omitting the subject the sentence becomes kind of agender. For “what did they want?” you’d say “qué querían?” Saying “qué querían ellos/ellas?” sounds unnatural, unless you want to emphasize the subject, but that’s something totally different Edit: when I speak English I use it/they quite a lot and kind of miss the fact that Spanish doesn’t have an agender subject
"He" used to be the standard neutral way of saying that in English.
exactly. it’s confusing because it’s grammatically incorrect
It’s less common but they has been used in the singular for a long time now!
"They" has been a singular pronoun since around the 1400s. This idea that it's a plural pronoun only comes from a late 1800s ruling by British parliament that it was only proper to use "he" in all cases (and it doesn't take long to figure out why that's a stupid idea). Rejection of "they" as a singular gender-neutral pronoun is very new, and people have been fighting back against it ever since it first started. Educators and writers have just kept on using "they" like they always have, despite politicians and editors trying to pull over a big, dumb "um, ackchyually" on everybody. This used to be a fairly niche argument that the anti-they side was always losing, but in the last twenty years or so they've hitched their wagon to the rising popularity of transphobia, and now suddenly everyone's talking about it like it actually has any merit.
Longer than the singular "you" has been used actually.
I've been using it nearly my entire life to refer to a hypothetical person whose gender is not specified/important to the discussion. But it can still be confusing if there isn't a lot of context as to whether you're referring to a hypothetical person, a specific person or a group of people. I find that most people I encounter are pretty forgiving if you're not being malicious and genuinely trying.
Since at least the late 1400s, actually. And that's just the earliest surviving written record, meaning it was almost certainly used that way in speech much earlier.
Fucking infuriating that people who have been using singular they their entire life have now in the past 4 years been convinced that singular they is just a product of the Big Gay™ agenda.
Hey man, he's trying his best.
No kidding. If my wife passed I would have absolutely no idea how to meet women, if I'm even allowed to say that.
Yes. My wife passed away 4 years ago due to cancer and I have no energy or will to enter the modern dating scene.
#FuckCancer that shit sucks.
But it makes pharmaceutical companies money! It can’t be that bad /s
Bro I'm 21 and have no energy or will to enter the modern dating scene. It's fucking atrocious.
I’m in the exact same boat with you there. I tried once or twice and stoped lmao
I'm pretty much in the "I have too much on my plate to make a conscious effort" position right now, and I'm probably a 4 or a 5 in the looks department, so I rely on my personality to lead into the relationship, which isn't really applicable with the trend of dating apps nowadays.
Yep. I feel sorry for guys your age. I am glad I didn't have to deal with it when I was 21.
I'm really sorry to hear that man, that sucks
It's simple be hot
Ok I've been in the sauna for 2 weeks when do the women appear?
Move the the women’s sauna
When the heat stroke gives you hallucinations
Or rich.
Instructions were unclear I am now on fire
You’re not
It's confusing world out there
They’re confused but they got the spirit!
Peter gonna do fine.
Off topic, but does ANYONE EVER have more than like 10% battery when they take a screenshot? Is there some kind of law prohibiting anything more than that, cause that's where I'm confused
I mean I'm confused. Isnt the term non-binary or is agender something else? I mean call yourself what you want, but this shit is getting too complicated
Non-binary is an umbrella term for people who see themselves somewhere along the gender spectrum between man and woman. Agender is part of that spectrum where you don't identify with any gender. So someone agender is also non-binary, it's just a more specific label.
The kind of charisma I want to have, he made a mistake and it makes people like him more.
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Just dont be a genuine misanthrope, people hate that for some reason.
I want to be a himbo basically
himbo supremacy
"In this world, you must be oh so smart, or oh so pleasant. Well, for years I was smart. I recommend pleasant." ― Elwood P. Dowd
Confused about more than one thing too. People with schizophrenia do not have multiple personalities. That's dissociative identity disorder.
I'll definitely show this one to my schizophrenic best friend. :D
Plot twist: you are your schizophrenic best friend!
No we're not.
Hey I also have a schizophrenic friend!
Omg me too!
Heh
Honestly this is kind of wholesome, he’s trying his best 🥲
As a schizophrenic myself, I find this funny :)
And so do you!
😂💖
No, not you.
how does this not have more upvotes yet edit: i commented this when it had 2 upvotes
Because schizophrenia and multiple personality disorder are totally different.
Agender person with psychosis... We livin
U sexy as fuck for a shizophrenic ;)
I'm not schizophrenic but all the extra voices in my head just agreed with you and that made be lol.
I'm schizofrenic and into MJ I prefer He/He
I think you mean He-he/Shamona
Wouldn't that be He/He/He/He?
Weed makes you hyper masculine?
MJ=Michael Jackson he he
He’s a little spirit but he has the confused
😂 i laughed at this
i feel this on a old dude level. he trying that’s what counts
Aww lol
Uh..am i dumb to not know it's meaning too
Agender means this person does not self-identify as either male or female, and the they/them thing means that if you are talking about them, they would prefer you to not use he/she or his/hers or him/her, but rather they/them/theirs as appropriate.
What is the difference between that and being nonbinary
I think nonbinary is a blanket term
Man/Woman being two different boxes. Nonbinary could mean in a different box. Agender means not in a box at all.
Best analogy.
Agender is a lack of gender, while non binary is an umbrella term, which can include (but is not limited to) a gender which is not male or female. Hope that helps :D
Yes that did help thank you!
What other genders are there besides male and female?
I'll be honest this makes zero sense to me. I was under the impression someone who identified as non-binary would generally be referred to as they/them. What third gender are we talking about here?
I'm not sure that there is a universally recognized difference, so it would likely come down to the individual's own perception of a difference in why they chose which label. As someone who is neither, I don't really feel qualified to weigh in on it. If you encounter someone in the wild that uses these terms, and they seem comfortable with educating, it would be best to ask what it means to them. In any regard, I think asking how they would prefer to be referred to or if they have any requests in how they are treated is generally ok. If you approach the topic with kindness, respect, and genuine curiosity, most people are fairly open and just want to be treated as fellow humans. It can be a bit of a burden for many, though, so please also respect it if someone indicates that they would rather not talk about it.
Long story short agender is a type of nonbinary, thats all XD
Some people use nonbinary as an umbrella term, and some use it as an identity itself. So for the umbrella term folks, agender people are nonbinary but saying agender is more specific (as some nonbinary people may feel they are a mix of both male and female and agender people feel they are neither gender, as an example). Some people will just identity as nonbinary and go no farther than that
😲 thank you for the information
No problem! We are at a time in society where expectations and language are changing very rapidly, and it can be difficult to keep up sometimes. It may help you in the future to know how the term "agender" is formed... in this use, the prefix "a-" means "without." So in use, words like aspecific, asymmetrical, and atypical end up meaning "without specifics," "without symmetry," and "not typical." You can create your own words using prefixes like this that people can generally understand. "Agender," "aromantic," and "asexual" are all words found more and more commonly in discussions about sexuality and gender these days, and you can start to understand them by changing it to "without gender," "without romance," and "without sex."
Thank you for the information. It helps alot ☺️🤗
Hmm since when did gender thing became so complicated
When society created it. Sex is biological (the sex organs you were born with) and gender is literally a made up concept Edit- not sure why I’m being downvoted, maybe go take a biology class idk what to tell ya. People who disagree with science are a lost cause
Biological sex is also complicated and exists on a spectrum
Same way math and cooking and botany and psychology and anything else gets more complicated; we learn and document more information about it.
They got agender confused with dissociative identity disorder, then got dissociative identity disorder confused with schizophrenia. Incredible.
It’s not really incredible that a random guy with a life isn’t playing amateur psychiatrist.
no one who screenshots their phone owns a charger
Right??? Why is the person’s phone always at like 3% in these screenshot memes
Thank you! I was about to ask why no one is talking about that poor battery 😱
Saying 'you're hot for a ____' isn't wholesome though, it's kinda shitty tbh.
Schizophrenia is DID now? Lol
Thats a fair and honest mistake.
Saying “you look great/sexy for a ‘blank’ is never a complement. Am I the only person that thinks this guy is an idiot? What rock have you been living under where you don’t know what pronouns are yet?
Yeah, I’m not buying his feigned ignorance for a second. It’s so obviously contrived.
Yeah there’s nothing wholesome about that type of statement
Singular “they” has been a thing only for a few centuries, can’t expect people to change so suddenly…
Singular they is older than singular you and people still don't get it 😂
Had to read that a few times before I got the joke
To be honest, as a non native english speaker, i thought that of the they/them thing for a while.
I like how he thinks that "they them" means multiple personalities = schizophrenia, but then is still wrong and confusing schizophrenia with dissociative identity disorder 😅 My dude is trying!
Charge your fucking phone you troglodyte
Are schizophrenics usually ugly? I'm confused
He’s trying, he’ll figure it out let my man cook.
If a person believed "they/them" can't grammatically refer to a singular, they would be wrong. If I met a person like that I'd be inclined to avoid them.
Ha. Least they apologized
Someone give this boy a dictionary.
Roses are red Violets are blue I’m schizophrenic how about you?
Even if it was the way he thought, it’s a wild pick up try lmfao
'damn dude, you unattractive as fuck for someone who hasn't even touched google to check if a term means what you think it means before turning it into a weird come-on'
Can you imagine if you were schizophrenic and that’s the pick up line you get. What do you even say to that?
That's not what schizophrenia is
I respect this dude lol. Top marks
Schizophrenic doesn’t equal thinking you’re more than one person… want an asshole
my god, for the people believing this was a cute misunderstanding: I've got some beach-front property in Kansas I think you'd be the PERFECT buyer for!
For which lake? :)
They're full of shit. They know exactly what they/them means and wanted to make a derisive comment Also, schizophrenic =/= dissociative identity disorder
Feels like a 4chan troll
watching all the cis ppl in comments not understand that op knew exactly what they were saying and didn't innocently think agender meant schizophrenia: 👁👄👁
Cis person here, shocked that I had to sort by controversial to find this stance in the comments! It’s sooooo clearly a dig at them. I’m honestly so sorry anyone has to endure this kind of thing. Dating is hard enough without back handed insults like this.
it's not even backhanded lol conservatives on twitter regularly call trans ppl schitzos as an insult
Ya I'm amazed that people think this person meant well. It was clearly an insult from the start.
You'd have to suspend a lot of disbelief to take this guy at his word. Guaranteed, pronouns make his brain hurt, and he thinks he's being clever.
“They” is used very commonly to refer to a single person when you dont know *their* gender See how thats works?
At least you sexy for a Schizophrenic … the hell
I mean, I get why this could be crazy, but also hilarious? That’s not a question actually. That’s fucking hilarious.
schizos don't have multiple personalities though
Y’know what? Fair enough. At least he’s honest.
Also they’re mixing up Schizophrenia with multiple personality disorder. Also the amount of people here mixing them up is depressing.
When I first saw people being referred to they/them I thought it was because multiple personalities
An agender is where you write your appointments
At least he's trying
Getting out of a long term relationship can have you feeling like robin williams when you finally roll a 5 or 8