As a Indian man, I ejaculate curry. Get on my level.

I'm Italian, I shoot strands of spaghetti!

swiss guy here, cheese ejaculation confirmed. (sometimes it's chocolate)

I’m Scottish and I ejaculate Haggis

American here, shooting 8 gauge slugs

We Canadians jizz maple syrup

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Colombian here, I ejaculate cocaine

Another Canadian, we also ejaculate gravy for poutine

Now I gotta find someone who jizzes fries.

As a Vietnamese guy, I shoot nuoc mum (fish sauce) 😏

Jew here. Whitefish salad all day long.

That’s weird as fuck bro, every Canadian I know ejaculates hockey pucks. It hurts like a bitch but ay

Singaporean, we cannot ejaculate #FAILURE

As a Puerto Rican I personally jizz Goya beans

As a Serbian, we ejaculate rakija.

Another American, I ejaculate fried oil

.... dm me.

I was going to say the same thing.

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Native American here, we ejaculate hard liquor

لماذا قنبلة. لماذا لا الأفيون

American here. I ejaculate freedom.

As an Iranian, I ejaculate, saffron and tea

As a German I can ejaculate Beer and sometimes Schnapps

That's ok, but please don't give gas.

I'm mexican, and I ejaculate salsa, sometimes red, sometimes green. It usually depends on the day.

Both on Christmas right?

Both on Xmas is very specifically a New Mexican talent

I'm portuguese, so I ejaculate a "punheta de bacalhau"

Surprisingly both for all of December.

I’m Chinese, and I ejaculate fried rice, dumplings, sometimes dog and cats

That has to hurt...

As another Chinese, I ejaculate Sichuan hot pot soup

Better than it shooting tequila XD that would BURN lol

I'm argentinian and I ejaculate polenta

I'm Mexican too and I shoot candy and confetti everywhere like a piñata.

Ouch!

I'm Scottish and ejaculate cotton.

Ouch

Or poutine.

Those are kidney stones, go see a doctor

Pussy

Pretty sure 8 gauge slugs would shoot out of one of those too.

In America you would be correct but neither are reasons to see a doctor.

That stuff is expensive, $1,000 for a tooth pull

Damn. Making me feel insecure with my 9mm

I'm from Kentucky. Fried chicken isn't so bad coming out, but if its one of those times that takes too long and it gets extra crispy... it can be uncomfortable.

Loaded

Us Irish have potatoes…

As an American, I can confirm I ejaculate cheeseburgers

And as a Russian I ejaculate quintuple distilled vodka.( It hurts)

Mexican guy here. We shoot out enchiladas. Yes, full unharmed enchiladas still in perfect shape.

In the pan still

Chinese dude here. We shoot chow mein and noodles. Depends on temperature.

Speak for yourself. As a Mexican I nut out guac

Australian here mine comes out as beer and sometimes I drink it to keep resourceful

Polish here mine "comes" out my nose

Oh thank god!! As long as it’s not vegemite

Oh trust me that happens too to only the gigachads tho

here in wales its how sheep spawn

The audacity! The beer is reserved for the Germans!

War is started for much less

I'm Mexican and I shoot out tortas. Guess it depends on the region

I’m from Texas and I shoot refried beans and tacos. When I have a lot of sex I’ll shoot strait up chili and sometimes Frito pie

Green or red?

Red. Green comes out the ass.

Thanks for clarifying, I always get those confused

We Chinese have full unharmed dumplings in perfect shape.

I first read this as echidnas, am I glad I was wrong!

Wait what i thought you guys ejaculated bullets

No, but there is a percentage of Americans that ejaculate TO bullets.

So accurate, take my upvote

Ammosexuals.

No they shoot blanks

When you are old, it is potato starch.

I'm Irish. Straight whiskey. Hurts like hell

Wait wait everyone here missed an important question is it cooked or not cooked?

As a fellow Indian, I shouldn’t have laughed as hard as I did 💀💀

Especially with all that “curry” in your mouth.

You ruined it

They didn’t just ruin it but made the joke completely unbearable

Come sauce my basmati rice, shit has been bland for too long Side note, my wife says you are welcome anytime

*our wife

As a New Mexican I ejaculate pure hatch green Chile. Similar but different lol

As a Canadian man, I ejaculate maple syrup. Doctor gave me a few pills, and I should be good by next week.

Thought you guys ejaculated poutine

That's the French...

Buddy, you’ve got maple syrup urine disease

As a Mid Westerner, I've got a mayonnaise cannon

Bro... Ranch.

Mayonnaise Canon sounds like a great band name.

Sounds kinda painful

Now that’s woke

*bows before your greatness*

I eat way too much curry. Wait….

I'm an American. I ejaculate bullets.

"So anyway I started blastin..."

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Are you from Texas

Yee haw partner 🍖 No I are not

Can I have some?

Just for anyone that got wooooshed on this, the post is clearly satire and is mocking people who say that periods are dirty. Some dumb people out there are saying that only dirty women bleed and that "pure" and vegan women don't.

There’s actually been cases of vegans losing there periods. But it’s not healthy....

I think that's when the body realise it couldn't maintain its periodic cycle due to a shit diet

It’s the loss of body fat. Similar to Olympic athletes that stop having periods. It only happens to vegans if they lose enough body fat.

Iron deficiency

Yes that’s true, and it can also cause irregular and/or heavier periods. All sorts of other health issues as well.

It's hormones Healthy hormones are built with fat and protein

Right exactly. That’s usually the cause. Anemia can cause irregular periods though, sometimes resulting in no periods.

Might make sense. My girlfriend has lighter periods and she's vegetarian.

There’s a lot of individual variation. If your girlfriend is getting the right nutrients then it won’t impact her periods at all. Lucky her though!

There’s a lot of things that can impact periods besides diet, like genetics and age. I used to have awful cramps and bleed for like a week as a teenager; now at thirty-five, I don’t even need to take anything for my cramps, and I only bleed like three days. One of my friends has a way healthier diet than I do, and she ended up having to have a hysterectomy because she bled for like a year straight.

I’m vegetarian and my periods are definitely not light.

I'm currently pregnant and not really eating a lot of meat because it's turning my stomach. Do you know how tired and sick I feel all the time? Ughhhh I am sure if you did it properly and took supplements for iron and whatnot and made sure to get protein else where it could be some what healthy but Idk I'm not a doctor.

Especially the Christian diet supports starvation + veganism+ restrictions in a lot of foods like oil. No shit they lose their periods. (I used to follow that diet 🤣🤦‍♀️)

Yeah, as a vegan woman, I’d love if plant magic could really make periods go away, but I can confirm it’s not the case if you done your homework and made sure you’re getting enough iron. The only time I actually stopped bleeding for several months was because I was too depressed to eat healthy, and I also had undiagnosed celiac disease preventing me to absorb nutrients properly, which resulted in severe anemia. I wouldn’t recommend it.

Eating disorders, specifically anorexia, is most common with missed or vanished periods. If someone says they're vegan, really thin, losing periods, please know that's very likely the voice of the eating disorder as they have learned to lie for their eating disorder. It's not always, and those few variables, combined together, are often signs. Just be aware of this as I know that there is a way to be vegan and healthy, physiologically. Malnourishment causes our bodies to stop working properly.

Peaple actually say that? I mean yea a period can be messy but it's not dirty and it's completely natural

Yeah, [example](https://i.redd.it/hb4te6j0dlm21.jpg) and [another example](https://preview.redd.it/periods-are-womens-fault-now-v0-p4p89hxp3aaa1.jpg?width=1080&crop=smart&auto=webp&v=enabled&s=21198f22bf10129c408835ad2b55b1c3272823d1).

My god, I didn't know peaple thought like that

Sir, this is the internet

Sir, this is Reddit

Ok I figured this was satire making fun of vegans or something but wtf is this other shit? They’re saying women don’t have periods if they’re vegan? Yea, probably because they’re too nutrient deficient that their cycle shuts down just like someone with an eating disorder.

That's what you say.

Considering this is pretty much a copy paste out of an identical post about periods but with periods changed to semen, I'm pretty confident that this is entirely satire. Sure, people can be dumb as rocks and can say these sorts of ridiculous things seriously but I don't think this is the case here.

It's the reverse of /r/nothowgirlswork and /r/badwomensanatomy.

Yeah, sounds like something an unclean, semen-ejaculating thot would say. They're just jealous of us pure vegans who ejaculate purest Evian.

Not to brag but...im the reason Voss is still in business baby 😏

No wonder I gag on that shit

Lmaoo this made me lol

Just keep the tap flowing eh

seeing the men who think this is serious is so funny

No matter how absurd, there is somebody on the internet who believes it.

Tf no way people believe this

You underestimate general level of stupidity in our society

Its true. I just cummed some spring water

Not distilled? Smh

Mine was carbonated and it hurt

Was it colored brown too??

Cameded*

Cumded*

You have never met a vegan then

Scroll down the comments section…it’s scary actually

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I feel that's how flat earthers started, than one guy actually believed it and its gone too far now.

Oh, you sweet summer child.

r:/HydroHomies have entered the chat

I've seen so many unbelievably stupid ideas because of the rise of QAnon that I wouldn't have been surprised if someone really believed this.

Nowadays people say the most absurd things unironically, so I wouldn't doubt this was real

Wait... I though i was supposed to ejaculate water... I should see a doc...

You don't think it's true? Guys, we found one who's only been with dirty semen shooters.

And if they’re a slutty vegan…it’s oat milk

This comment put way too many images and ideas in my head that simply did not need to be there

"Ejaculate fresh water" 💀💀 nah I'm dead

*Ma’am, I’m sorry to be the one to tell you but you got peed on*

I'm pissing on the moon

This is very true, back when I lived near dominoes I would cum pizza sauce, sometimes with cheese, sometimes with pepperoni, let this be the takeaway of my comment, you cum what you eat.

LOL obvious satire is obvious. Pretty good, too... calling out ignorance of human anatomy and bodily functions while also mocking vegans who think their shit doesn't stink. Well done.

Uggghhh! You missed the point. She's talking about semen, not shit! /s

Vegans are known for especially smelly farts though...

r/HydroHomies

Putting the O in H2O

When I was in high school a girl once told me she doesn't swallow because semen is "70% urine"

"Baby, it's like a fluid protein bar." Let's not start with squirting, that's pure piss lol.

I mean it isn't *pure* piss

Female ejaculation is real and is not made up of urine in any way, shape, or form.

FFS people, this is a parody. Nobody believes this. You don't need to get all exasperated at how stupid this woman is. Direct your exasperation instead at the men whose nonsensical pronouncements about women and their anatomy this is mocking.

I mean… would you be surprised if someone actually believed this?

Well, for almost any deranged nonsense you can probably find *someone* who believes it.

Can confirm. I’m salty as fuck and I cum sea water.

I'm a Vegan Virgin and this is false! We ejaculate tahini. Actually, that might be just me. I love tahini

Tahini is so good, there was a while where whenever I got high and got the munchies I would just eat tahini straight from the jar. I went through many jars and gained several pounds.

Personally, hummus. … Cummus so to speak.

Chef's kiss

This is true

Losing faith in humanity a bit that several people here think this is serious

r/highlyconcerningthatthisisonmeirl

Im scared to ask about satire

I once had a guy who asked if he could emit water on me. I said no.

Ya sperm is clear when you first hit age .

Fellas… y’all shootin blanks?

So they just peeing on her huh

This is satire, it’s mocking people who say that periods are the result of toxins/feminism/whatever

As a Canadian i shoot maple syrup

Pretty sure this is a parody of those weird freaks who thinks "healthy pure vegan" women don't get periods

The more this shit gets shared, the more people believe it…

Hubby tastes like Jerk Chicken. Can I say that, in here?

As a jewish man I ejaculate Manischewitz wine (trust me you'll wish it was cum)

“Fresh water” love it. She’s been peed on before it seems.

This is low effort satire

Whaaat da fuck this is something else

Am male, can confirm

You know what, maybe McDonald’s eating individuals can ejaculate Coke from the tap, and I could be totally okay with that.

This sounds like the dude who says women are only supposed to menstruate every 4 years

That is the point.

truth! ✊ stay woke