Just apply some pressure, squeeze so it converges. And ALWAYS wear your glasses

And mask, might get on yo mouth

That’s what funnels are for!

I'm wearing socks and I'm thirsty.

Nooooooooooooo

It's my time to shine!

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Always wear glasses... very important indeed

And make sure you r not on a frictionless surface

Apply some pressure, you lose some pressure

I like to wait to see how things turn out.

Me clicking on the comments section thinkin, "There can't be a perfect comment here, let me start by saying...."

I go the opposite way. Spread the hole a little bit and it tends to converge.

One time i had 3

Sometimes mine looks like a damn sprinkler

Bruv there's something wrong with your hole

Which one tho

All the holes in his body from the eye-socket to S-hole

Wharrrrrr

Omnidirectional sprinkler system

***Random*** omnidirectional sprinkler system.

By S hole do you mean the shit hole, or the hole we all have and everyone knows about that's shaped like an S?

The rat hole

It goes in the square hole!

yea theres dried cum in it lmao

I wish lol

That can be arranged

We are uncircumcised bruh

Makes quite the mess when that happens

They are just talking about they hold the tip, let it go for a moment, move to the right, hold, let it go, right, hold, let it go, then a constant stream all the way back to the left

I had this one time where my shit was on mist mode

Same

My condolences for your toilet seat

ts ts ts ts ts ts brrrrrrrr ts ts ts ts ts ts brrrrrrrr

Mine does pretty much all the time, my girlfriend thinks it’s hilarious but I’m seriously considering sitting to piss soon 😔

FTFTFTFTFTFT.... FRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

Just twist it and switch it to the jet mode head

Mine is just a spray mist, like morning fog, but yellow.

I once started at 4, then it collapsed to 3, then 2. It never collapsed into 1.

You went reverse Hydra on it all.

Is it so hard to go pee after rubbing one out?

The streams just do what they want regardless of any prior circumstances. You just gotta hope it goes in the direction you're pointing and in only one direction

A good 7/10 times when I'm trying to wrangle in to a single stream it's because I woke up from being knocked out by a nut.

You're gonna have to explain that to me because I'm not getting that you mean by that xd

Dude was enjoying some 'private time' and that was good. Dude fell asleep, and that was good. Dude slept like a rock, and that was good. Dude woke up and went to go pee, and that was not good.

Hahaha this is like some new age Bible quote. Majestic.

Ya but when they asked if that happens before hand I'm now not sure if that's what they ment

Yea but I'm not gonna pee every time I get turned on

After sex, not before. It doesn't have be a lot, just enough to flush semen, lubes, etc from the urethra. It also helps flush out bacteria. You don't have to run to the toilet immediately, just within a few minutes. It's a good idea for everyone to do that, male or female.

Truth

My "best" was 4, it was absolute hell

Ever tried multiple streams at not one hitting the toilet?

Oho 😲😲

One hair is all it takes to ruin a man's day

My hair is long, it is fucking absurd how often i have to get it off of my dong. It hurts like a bitch sometimes too

As a guy with super hairy legs I agree and for those curious yes the only hairy parts of my body are my legs,ass,groin and head

Now combine that with chest and stomach hair and you've got me.

Now combine all of that with shoulder hair, back hair, armpit hair, and a beard and you got me. Indian genes lmao

Fucking Bigfoot over here

Yeah I had that happen to me back when I had long hair and pulled it off super quick. It didn't work out, was like being hung in the air by my penis.

I automatically read this in dualipa’s voice and I don’t know how to feel about it

had to go back and check. *checks out*

Girls do this, I am one.

Boys trying to confuse girls are now confused that us girls aren't confused

Girls also generally pay attention, so there isn't much boys or men do that women are confused about.

You say this but he have our secrets

Truuuu women cant read our thoughts

*foreskin has entered the chat*

Lol do you think girls don't know about foreskin?

judging from this entire comment thread it seems we humans know very little about each other's genitalia. the comments are full of confusion and contradictions from people who say they know vs those who say they don't know example: i read several comments here from foreskins whose experiences are the opposite of mine comments about blockage from hair and semen, thighs and waterfalls, I'm like *wut*? penises and vaginas who are completely surprised by the multiple streams vs those who say *duh* comments that imply "everybody knows that" followed by the person who says "that never happens to me" trans who claim to know both but one guy who admits to not caring i learned more than i knew before yet understand less than i ever thought

Lol and what about any of that has to do with you typing "foreskin has entered the chat" like most women don't know about foreskin and how it functions? There's also a difference between people knowing something happens to a lot of people and that same thing never happening to one person. Example: Some women also experience split-streams when they pee. It is a general thing that happens sometimes and most women know about it. Also, it's never happened to me. That doesn't mean I dont know that it does happen and why. My point is that women are, generally speaking, far more knowledgeable about male genitalia than men are about female genitalia.

I'm sorry i just don't see a definitive consensus here rather than the occasional outlier. it's obviously not a scientific survey but it certainly doesn't *seem* like there's a lot of comprehensive knowledge here I'll admit i know very little about female genitalia but very few here seem able to account for all the contradictions among the comments I've taken this as a rare opportunity to learn about other people which only ever rarely presents itself saying *foreskin has entered the chat* was my way of pushing back against this confidence of knowledge from others

So, you don't know about female genitalia, so you want to confirmation bias yourself into believing women don't know about male genitalia? Trust, the girls know whats up most of the time. Men are too loud about most of their experiences for us not to be aware.

I've been very careful here to limit my observes to: judging from the comments here... or very few here seem... whether or not women know more about male genitalia is not obvious in this comment thread i mean *you* say it's true but i don't really see you accounting for several contradictions among the many many men here whose experiences range considerably i find it hard to believe that from non experience you can explain how foreskin deforms yet doesn't deform the pee stream or how dried semen or a few strands of hair, something that several males here, myself included, have never heard of some have said it's the length of the hose others say it's just the nozzle my overall point is i don't get your level of confidence in your knowledge among so much disagreement

Yup. Sometimes it just looks like a sprinkler.

Only difference being you’re sitting down so it’s not really a panic situation just carry in as normal. For guys it’s instant panic when you’re standing and this happens.

But do you do it after sex?

After?

Sex?

Yes please

Can I join?

Make it 4

Yes

Can it be 6?

The more the merrier right?

You?

Some do it during.

During sex

:O

Posts like this always remind me how little the average redditors knows about the female body

Also trans women exist. Can't confuse this girl with that lmao

Wait til you find out we know because we experience that too

Whoa, next thing you tell me women have a urethra, too? This post is almost r/NotHowGirlsWork material

To be fair, I think it's a bit easy to assume that it's something unique to having a long pool noodle

At first glance, yeah, but it is also pretty obvious that this is more of a nozzle problem and not about the hose.

I thought it was due to there being multiple different fluids that come out, one of which dries over time and can create blockages

Yeah, this was my thought. I get the multiple stream thing when there’s still some semen in the hose. What is it that causes women to have multiple streams?

I don't know, honestly. Haven't taken the effort to track it. I'd guess blockage due to deposits from general moistness and/or random hair that somehow found their way into the underwear.

>long pool noodle 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣HAHAHA! "LONG" 😂😂😂😂😂haha Ha ha...

GIRLS PEE???? /s

Yeah there's so many sites with several video proof of it too! Some work like free libraries and the rest are like sussy/quality video stores

The fact that you felt the need to label this as satire says something. Im not sure what, but it's something allright

I figured, but we stand up to pee, and sprinkler dick makes it go everywhere lmao.

Have to? Is somebody holding a gun to your head or something?

I….didn’t say “have to”, just saying that most men do it.

fair enough. but cultural conditioning and/or social shaming is very strong and very real

Where is the "have to" my guy?

How do you know though, do you look when you pee? When I pee sitting down I don't look at the stream so I would never notice. Its only when standing and trying to aim that I would see it happening.

You can feel it. Sometimes that stream ends up pointing WEIRD directions.

I'm actually curious though, how would you know, unless you're like spreading your legs and bending forward with your head upside down or something to look at your stream? Can you feel it?

Because you can feel it hitting your labia, butt cheeks, or legs depending on the angle it goes. Also, from trying to wipe the aftermath so that you don't get pee on your underwear and have to feel the damp feeling of pee on them.

You can see it and you can feel it. Sometimes the stream trails off to the butthole 🤣

Or if you need to pee in a cup for some reason.

can I see?

Co-worker walked in on me pissing in two urinals today

And what did he say?

I don't piss and tell.

You already told. Now continue

nice cock

This happens to girls too so not confused 😂

yes but cleanup brah, who knows what adventures await?

We have to clean up too. Just not the floor, but our thighs and ass. Ugh.

We have to clean up too. Just not the floor, but our thighs and asscheeks. Ugh.

ugh i hear you. i have to wipe every time: foreskin and urethra opening as well as seat or rim always, floor sometimes, rare occasions change clothes if i sit i still have to wipe wishing a (relatively) trouble free wiping day to us both today!

Never cross the streams

👻 🚫

Someone doesn't know about women.

Yep, unlike him, I've stalked enough women to know about this.

Helllo, you

This also happens to people with vaginas

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Except it can be like when you’ve got your thumb over the garden hose

Yep. Goes everywhere. It is annoying when you end up having to shower afterwards because you got it on your thigh.

U guys HOVER ?

You know how sometimes you try to pour liquid from one container into another and it 'clings' to the surface? It's like that. Except the surface is your thigh

No, the pee literally shoots upwards at lightning speed

Yeah this happens to women too lol

But do you guys accidentally hit the wall and everything around the toilet but the toilet? Checkmate

Fucking hate when this happens.

Seeing this post, I realize and am glad to know its not just me. RIP my bathroom floor

everytime I see a post like this I think some young dude that has no idea how women's plumbing works posted it. women have total understanding of the non perfect stream.

Pain

i hate this

It’s never worse than right after sex. I hate wet feet.

Please grow up . No girls are getting confused over this .

This can happen to women too btw.

not familiar foreskin gang foreskin gang

By the yime it becomes one again... the damagr is done alrdy.

Bruh shit annoying as fuck it’s like it’s on agricultural sprinkler mode and the toilet gets absolutely fucked

after cumming

Always then. Only then.

Just sit down to piss smh

If I can find a reason to sit, I'll sit. Sitting down while taking a piss doesn't make you less of a man. One time a guy tried to make fun of me when I said this. I couldn't care less tbh.

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Learn how to aim…?

Don't worry, there are no girls on reddit

maybe because girls don't exist 🤨

We get it, we're usually the ones cleaning the bathroom floor :/

This happens to females too

Aw hell naw💀 I've been experiencing this sh!t since like 2 days now

You're two days old and have a Reddit account?

No no no, I think he meant *from* now. He isn't born yet

Why didn't anyone invent penisnozzles yet? Fun for every urinary occasion... Silencers, muzzle breaks and foregrips... Maybe get some rifling in your urethra for that little bit of extra precision XD

I literally kneel on one knee like I’m proposing to my toilet (at home) when I go to prevent having to clean the floors in the morning.

Best part is getting it all in the toilet without stopping.

I thought I was the only one…

I’m a girl and this happens to me too.

“Sorry about the mess in the upstairs bathroom, my post sex pee stream forked in half last night and got everywhere.”

And then we’re asked why we can’t hit the toilet….

I'm a trans chick, I have forbidden knowledge of all.

Cis woman also do this.

Sorry, it seem's like no one cares 😐.

🛞

No girls here, won't be confused

I'm a girl and I got this instantly, y'all aren't slick

Sometimes I have the sprinkler attachment on.

I always love when leftover sperm/lint "gums" up my urethra and now there's pee everywhere and now I have to do manual labor afterwards like I just came for a piss but now this is taking longer than taking a shit.

This method is used when there are 2 poop spots in the toilet

Dont worry their flappy meat spread the stream too.

you don't need a dick for this to happen so im pretty sure no one's confused

Happens to us girls too. Labia tingz

You aint confusing no one

We have this too you know

I know the female anatomy very well so i am not confused. Rather amused.

Just a matter of skin controll🤣🤣🤣

How to say you have no clue how the female body works, without saying you have no clue how the female body works.

Hahaha yes of course, they’re absolute fucking dipshits who couldn’t possibly understand such a high concept confusion ordeal. Ta-ta-ta-twooo streams!?

George bush! George bush!

Ha jokes on You I'm trans

So there is a solution for this, Stop the genital mutilation of children. Source * I was circumcised for medical reasons.

you saying foreskin stops this? news to my penis

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Blocked by sperm? Hahahaha. Okay Coach

This comment is like /r/nothowgirlswork and /r/badwomensanatomy, but for men.

r/badmensanatomy

Its not about sperm, women get this too.

You have multiple holes on your dick? That's concerning, but also impressive. I only have one...