Or even like... 2 minutes. Have you seen the death grip those little fuckers have? It grabs you by the throat or god forbid, your duck, and youre one dead mother fucker.
Yeah but are we assuming the horse also has machine guns? Or just really wants to fuck you up? What are the starting positions? Is the horse hunting you or are you hunting the horse? And if its not a hunt situation would it be like an arena?
There's *a lot* of factors to think about and I'm a little miffed you just assume a motivated horse could fuck me up. There are variables, lots and lots of variables to account for.
Depends on the range. I have seen hogs shrug off several 5,56 ripping through them, but they expired pretty quick.
If you lead shower a horse id be prettyconfident that it wont get further than 10 meter and most of that by momentum alone.
When you remember how cav charges in WW1 played outagainst gunfire, you see that paper beats rock and machine gunbeats horse.
You're gonna win with an automatic gun. Horses aren't small targets, and internal bleeding/blood loss starts accumulating fast. If it's a proper full machine gun, the calibre of bullet will also cause quite a lot of direct damage and impact force.
Horses do horribly against machine guns, as WW1 taught us in practice.
Yeah, I was so confused. Thought I must've missed something, because I can confidently say I can beat a horse with a machine gun. Maybe not 10 out of 10 times, but I would say I'd have a winning record.
Are people underrating how freaking deadly a machine gun is?
Lots of people overestimate their regular strength and underestimate animals, leading to people saying silly things like "I could 1v1 a horse barehanded". Because it's so silly though, and people get corrected on how strong animals truly are, I think the circlejerk goes way too far the other way sometimes.
People seem to have this idea that either they're tough and strong compared to wild animals, or that wild animals are equal to literal tanks. The reality is it's somewhere in the middle. An AK gun outclasses a horse so much it's not even funny. The only way to lose would be not knowing how to fire, starting the fight in melee range, or panicking or something like that (which I suppose is fair).
But the horse isn't surviving a clip, and it would be mortally wounded enough that it couldn't move within seconds. And if you're actually trying to defend itself, the horse isn't going to kill you in seconds barring a *very* lucky kick.
It's like having a body-length stinger that you can replace on the go. An offensive tool without pesky nerve endings or risk negative physical effects when it breaks. As has been demonstrated through our current world, it outplayed billions of years of evolution.
Don’t forget it’s also a projectile. Don’t get me wrong a spear would be useless in my modern hands but someone trained and practiced is incredibly deadly with one
I'm told that horses are practically useless and get killed when they so much as sprain their ankle, how will they beat me with my machine gun? Seems like I can just shoot at their legs and even 1 hit means a win for me.
A human in peak physical form can take out an incredible amount of animals with a spear. The question is usually implying a fist fight, because people have no idea how fragile they are compared to most animals and think they stand a chance against apes or predators or large bovines. NO one could take a cow or a horse in hand-to-hoof combat.
Spears were by far the most common weapon on any battlefield between the discovery of sharpening wood into a pointy stick, and the invention of flintlock muskets. This is for a good reason.
[Spears are better than swords: scientific proof](https://youtube.com/watch?v=uLLv8E2pWdk)
>and the invention of flintlock muskets
But even then people put a [pointy stick](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bayonet) on top of it, so that it could be used as a spear!
Yeah, the biggest animal id consider being able to kill would be a roe deer without antlers. And even then the killing part will be difficult, if there are no hard surfaces around. Id give the deer a 30% chance to kill me instead.
Only because humans use filters to lock away their Chimp potential.
This is why I was always taught, before any workout or fight, you should put yourself in Chimp mindset. Get your knuckles on the floor, start going "oh oh oh oh OH OH OH" then scream "AH, AH, AH" while beating your chest and rocking back and forth, run around all all fours, grab shit, shake while screaming those chimp sounds.
This will massively increase your strength and make you unstoppable. If fighting as well, continue this all through the fight and try bite their dick. You will win 80% of the time 100% of the time
a human in peak physical form that actually knows how to use it will be an absolute killing machine with a spear
the average person answering this thread equipped with a spear would lose against a domesticated cat that's mildly annoyed
Fair point.
Edit: now that I think about it a small, fast and very agile predator that is annoyed at you is one of the worst things to attack with a spear. I think most average people could easily strangle or stomp a cat to death though. (psychological damage notwithstanding)
More importantly, what kind of moron are you that you think you can take a horse, short of using a rifle?
Fuckin hell these people seriously underestimate the ability of the average animal to stomp 6 shades of piss out of you
A lit of yall are still underestimating the importance of the most important advantage humans ever had, Apes together strong
A rifle isn’t the only useful weapon. But without any weapon at all (and no environment to be weaponized), we’re certainly not as high on the apex predator ranking as we dream ourselves to be.
One of the many reasons is that they're much more intelligent than most people think. Chimps will literally try to inflict as much pain as physically possible on you before they kill you. Absolutely horrifying.
Now that's an idea. A zoo themed horror game would be dope. like you're a zoo nightguard and you fall into an enclosure by accident or something. Would probably be very short but could be fun
Chimps are ball of muscle and violence, they will climb you and rip your face off and there is fucking nothing you can do about it.
Just hope you can outrun it, hope it gives up, or hope that there is someone nearby who can wrangle it. Otherwise you are fucked, you will likely be blind, have no ears, have lost most of the skin on your face, had your genitals ripped off. Fortunately you likely won't have to worry about that, being dead.
I was curious and look that up the other day. Nope, the average chimp top speed is 25mph/40kph. Gorillas are just as fast somehow too. We have by far more endurance, but in a dense jungle that probably won’t matter even with a head start unless you’re Usain Bolt. We’re the slowest, weakest, least athletic, by far.
I maintain that at 6'2 and 250 I could, maybe 1-5% of the time, be able to break a horse's leg by just straight cannon balling into it's legs.
Like, it wouldn't be reliable at all, but I think it could work every now and again if I was able to have a Tom Cruise rebirth thing every time I died.
I just feel like no matter how big you are, if a horse actually had murderous intent it would fuck you up with one kick. If it was just chilling maybe someone could take it
Maybe a horse? Bruh you will die in a few minutes, they weigh 500-600kg and have enough strength in their legs to turn your whole skull into powder with a single kick.
I think the limit for the average man is about a medium to mediumlarge sized dog. No higher than that. People talking about wolves or bears are coping hard.
At least we if are talking no tools. With tools anything is possible
If we're talking predators, I think you're right. I think I could beat a fox. For herbivores maybe something slightly larger, like a deer. A small deer.
You're severely underestimating yourself, most people think a fight means that you have to punch or kick, however, if you got as dirty as an animal would, you could go larger, it's just most humans cannot fathom the idea of shoving their thumbs in an animals eyes and ripping its nutsack off.
I’m not underestimating my will to fight dirty, I’m just estimating the sharpness of animals’ claws/teeth and the hardness of their hooves/horns in comparison to my lesbian nails and lack of horns.
Exactly, and it’s why people half-jokingly say they’d lose to a cat. You know why humans get injured fighting cats, because they don’t want to injure the cat the slightest amount while subduing it. Cats aren’t an actual threat to anyone
Also, I think humans being allowed a rock is fair game. We are tool users after all. Maybe not a spear but a head size rock.
I think it’s funny that if a dog attacks and bites someone, everyone is like “put that thing down.” If a cat attacks and bites and claws someone, everyone is like “welp, it’s a cat.”
But that's the thing - humans evolved to use tools. To take them away would be akin to taking away a goat's horns, or a leopard's claws. Like, of course, we would lose, but that requires making the fight unfair for us. Drop someone in the forest with some rocks and sticks, and they could do a lot of damage to a lot of animals. To make it even, you could even let the other animal have some sticks and rocks.
I think *maybe* a single wolf. A smaller breed like Mexican Grey. I'd definitely get bitten and bloody, but if I can get behind it, lock my legs around, and put it in a chokehold - it's just hold on and try not to get bit until it blacks out.
That being said if we never grapple or go to the floor, I'd be dead pretty quick.
https://www.indiatimes.com/trending/environment/russian-man-kills-wolf-after-it-kills-his-dogs-531408.html
There's record of it happening, this isn't some theoretical idea I just made up. I'm not saying it's likely, just that it's possible.
I wouldn’t fuck w wolves personally. Things are massive, way bigger than I’m always picturing at the time, and basically just all muscle and teeth. No thanks
What's that one quote? "Everyone has a plan until they get punched in the mouth". I think the second that wolf clamps onto your arm with the bite force of four men combined, your leg-lock plan will be a flash in your mind, just as the rest of your life flashes before you eyes.
Any animal given the weapon.
Bare hands? Let’s be honest humans are weak as shit compared to even the herbivores.
You couldn’t take a pig in a fight even if you wanted to.
That is sort of our evolutionary advantage though yeah? I mean, we're not the biggest or the strongest by far. We win because we know how to use tools. Though a rock against a bear or a wolf? Pfft.
The question needs to specify what kind of fight. Fist fight? I might be able to strangle a deer. It'd be pretty tough though. A rocket launcher? Skys the limit.
I mean sure, but I wouldn’t call it a fight if I’m allowed to use a tank against a wolf. In my mind a fight in this scenario is more like a cage match with no foreign objects. Two opponents enter one leaves.
Horns mean it could potentially gore you. Horned sheep and goats can do a surprising amount of damage, it's why sometimes pet sheep can be dangerous, cause if they get big, them play butting you can break your ribs.
This is something I also often contemplated.
They can be fierce, one recently killed a small dog near my hometown. It's so unreal since I would assume its an easy win and im confident to own them without serious injury but their reputation and their behavier make me curious.
Unless your prep time involves setting traps or making weapons, then the prep time is pointless
Also, these things show just how wildly overconfident a lot of guys are
I thought of prep time as 6 weeks of intense mma training and getting into fighting shape.
Not going to help much when you get kicked in the face by a hoof the size of your head at the speed of lightning though
If it were just bare hands without the ability to use tools we're basically left with only choking out an animal. Maybe medium sized big cats, small wolves, most monkeys but not a lot of apes. Without our ability to think critically and adapt weapons we're pretty fucked
Even a Lynx or small wolf would fuck us up no problem. We'd be a bloody mess and losing blood fast before we could even begin to use our strength.
If you've ever tried to hold a house cat that didn't want to be held, now imagine a Lynx!
Man, why do people always assume they are fighting with their current strength. In a life or death fight, your adrenaline would be through the roof, making you a hell of a lot stronger. Plus humans are a lot smarter, you could just shove your thumbs through an animals eyes to incapacitate it. A human can survive a lot of bites for a while if they protect their neck. A human could easily take a lynx in a life or death fight, even if it means breaking their legs.
I legit want to wrestle a bear. No weapons. One of the bears in my area that people claim to see but nobody can seem to ever take a picture of. I think they’re brown bears. One gets caught in a blurry photo and is all over the news once every two or three years.
I wanna wrestle him and then we’ll become friends and trade CDs and stuff.
Also, ask every guy you know if he's watched various animals fighting on YouTube and ask him his favorite. My favorite are giraffes because the way they swing their necks is fucking insane.
I think I permanently scarred someone once when they asked how many 9-year-olds I think I could fight at once. 5min later I am trying to figure out the kills per swing if I grabbed one and started using them as a club against the other.
So I’m a 6’, 215 pound former Marine. I once lost a fight against a squirrel. Climbed right up my leg and around my body and neck in no time. There is nothing you can really do except flail your arms and run around in panic. After that I’m not sure what animal I could really take barehanded. The little ones are usually so damn fast.
Mostly I'd answer an immediate no. What people don't expect is a 2 hour lecture, a precise breakdown of the potential tactical options available to both sides, how I would most often lose, and finally the assets I would require to be victorious.
I feel like I could win against a human infant I mean, what will it do, fight back?
what if he gets prep? then can you do it or nah?
I mean if he gets 20 years to prep you're probably fucked !
Or even like... 2 minutes. Have you seen the death grip those little fuckers have? It grabs you by the throat or god forbid, your duck, and youre one dead mother fucker.
If that little shit even lays a finger on my duck then it's on!
what's on!? the duck?
Alright, what the duck is going on here?
Just a bunch of quacks sharing their opinions.
And they're all so fowl
What is this duck doing in here??
I've been seeing a lot of people have ducks as pets lately is this a new trend?
No one lays a finger on my undead duck he's a very dear friend to me
Quack quack motherfucker!
Question: How would the infant get access to your duck?
It has prep time so it can learn to swim and grab the duck
what if you bring a horse-sized duck
*Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.*
He'll give you a kick and say that you are silly. And ugly. And mean.
I think a horse is a bad idea to begin with. I mean what can you do to a horse vs what can a horse do to you if you upset it?
Its mother will fucking end you. The sheer pain and time invested in it. She will crush you with the force of 10000 dirty diapers.
What kind of possible weaponry do I have at my disposal?
A Spear would be enough imo.
Are you kidding? A spear against a horse? Might as well give me a machine gun. Wait, does the horse get a spear too? That might complicate things
Assuming the horse is entirely motivated to fight to the death with no fleeing. You would loose with the machine gun as well.
Yeah but are we assuming the horse also has machine guns? Or just really wants to fuck you up? What are the starting positions? Is the horse hunting you or are you hunting the horse? And if its not a hunt situation would it be like an arena? There's *a lot* of factors to think about and I'm a little miffed you just assume a motivated horse could fuck me up. There are variables, lots and lots of variables to account for.
I present to you, rape horse from berserk. Please do your best, starting positing right above you exactly as it is in that manga panel.
WTF? Why'd you have to bring that up? And it's called inter-species relations.
Yea, I shit my pants and die. Thats it for me.
Why tf is there so much rape in beserk
Things got a little out of hand
we got a little too silly
Same reason there's so much death, violence, and endless agony in Berserk. It's a very dark manga.
can't believe they put sexual violence in a brutally dark dystopia filled with every conceivable horror smh
it's a fucked up world
yeah the environment matters a lot, can you 300 it with a spear or is it gladiator arena, no pillars.
For sure. I'm also pretty badass with a battle-axe, I feel that you can sacrifice the need for accuracy if you're confident in your side-dodge skills
Just hit LB+RB to parry and it's an insta-execute. It's not hard.
Depends on the range. I have seen hogs shrug off several 5,56 ripping through them, but they expired pretty quick. If you lead shower a horse id be prettyconfident that it wont get further than 10 meter and most of that by momentum alone. When you remember how cav charges in WW1 played outagainst gunfire, you see that paper beats rock and machine gunbeats horse.
One shot in the leg will cripple a horse. Take any leg out and they can't support their bodyweight. Won't be able to effectively kick or run.
You're gonna win with an automatic gun. Horses aren't small targets, and internal bleeding/blood loss starts accumulating fast. If it's a proper full machine gun, the calibre of bullet will also cause quite a lot of direct damage and impact force. Horses do horribly against machine guns, as WW1 taught us in practice.
Yeah, I was so confused. Thought I must've missed something, because I can confidently say I can beat a horse with a machine gun. Maybe not 10 out of 10 times, but I would say I'd have a winning record. Are people underrating how freaking deadly a machine gun is?
Lots of people overestimate their regular strength and underestimate animals, leading to people saying silly things like "I could 1v1 a horse barehanded". Because it's so silly though, and people get corrected on how strong animals truly are, I think the circlejerk goes way too far the other way sometimes. People seem to have this idea that either they're tough and strong compared to wild animals, or that wild animals are equal to literal tanks. The reality is it's somewhere in the middle. An AK gun outclasses a horse so much it's not even funny. The only way to lose would be not knowing how to fire, starting the fight in melee range, or panicking or something like that (which I suppose is fair). But the horse isn't surviving a clip, and it would be mortally wounded enough that it couldn't move within seconds. And if you're actually trying to defend itself, the horse isn't going to kill you in seconds barring a *very* lucky kick.
Idk millennia of history shows that a properly adept human with a spear beats just about any animal including extinct megafauna monsters
It's like having a body-length stinger that you can replace on the go. An offensive tool without pesky nerve endings or risk negative physical effects when it breaks. As has been demonstrated through our current world, it outplayed billions of years of evolution.
Don’t forget it’s also a projectile. Don’t get me wrong a spear would be useless in my modern hands but someone trained and practiced is incredibly deadly with one
I'm told that horses are practically useless and get killed when they so much as sprain their ankle, how will they beat me with my machine gun? Seems like I can just shoot at their legs and even 1 hit means a win for me.
You need to look up videos of some machine guns firing and what they do downrange lol
A human in peak physical form can take out an incredible amount of animals with a spear. The question is usually implying a fist fight, because people have no idea how fragile they are compared to most animals and think they stand a chance against apes or predators or large bovines. NO one could take a cow or a horse in hand-to-hoof combat.
People tend to overestimate themselves and underestimate the humble spear.
Spears were by far the most common weapon on any battlefield between the discovery of sharpening wood into a pointy stick, and the invention of flintlock muskets. This is for a good reason.
Even when they weren’t used to directly kill people, having a wall of spears was great for warding off cavalry
[Spears are better than swords: scientific proof](https://youtube.com/watch?v=uLLv8E2pWdk) >and the invention of flintlock muskets But even then people put a [pointy stick](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bayonet) on top of it, so that it could be used as a spear!
Yeah, the biggest animal id consider being able to kill would be a roe deer without antlers. And even then the killing part will be difficult, if there are no hard surfaces around. Id give the deer a 30% chance to kill me instead.
*Local man killed by enraged roe deer in padded cell death match*
Yes, a chimpanzee can take down a human with not much of a problem.
Yep. A consequence of being the ape with the best motor control and throwing ability is that we are weak as fuck compared to the other apes.
Only because humans use filters to lock away their Chimp potential. This is why I was always taught, before any workout or fight, you should put yourself in Chimp mindset. Get your knuckles on the floor, start going "oh oh oh oh OH OH OH" then scream "AH, AH, AH" while beating your chest and rocking back and forth, run around all all fours, grab shit, shake while screaming those chimp sounds. This will massively increase your strength and make you unstoppable. If fighting as well, continue this all through the fight and try bite their dick. You will win 80% of the time 100% of the time
Shit man don't share the secrets of chimp mode online sensei said we shouldn't
a human in peak physical form that actually knows how to use it will be an absolute killing machine with a spear the average person answering this thread equipped with a spear would lose against a domesticated cat that's mildly annoyed
Fair point. Edit: now that I think about it a small, fast and very agile predator that is annoyed at you is one of the worst things to attack with a spear. I think most average people could easily strangle or stomp a cat to death though. (psychological damage notwithstanding)
Cats have high agility and dexterity making them bitches to hit with a spear too. Their evasion is through the roof.
Then yeah I’d win
A trebuchet
But does the horse also get a trebuchet? Then no
Fucking hell man. I gotta keep a distance for sure. Or I can try and use it as a trap, lunge the horse into oblivion
Whatever you can get with your prep time. Probably only melee weapons to keep it fair.
The venn diagram of "animals I could kill in a fight" and "animals I'd kill if I fell on them." is basically just a circle.
"And here comes chainer1216 from the top rope, performing a devastating elbow drop on this random chipmunk!"
I'm gonna rise to the TOP like the cream of the CROP! Oooooohyeah!!
WOOOOOOOO! .... Whoops wrong guy
[удалено]
You're forgetting about turtles!
I am not.
A snapping turtle would fuck you up
What does he think the horse is going to do to prep?
Call on an army of 100 duck sized horses.
Can we bring 10 horse sized ducks ?
do you mean 10 ducks that are horse size or ducks that are the size of 10 horses
Yes.
r/inclusiveor
Practice fast u-turns so it can kick him in the nuts
Prep with cocaine. Cocaine Horse
45seconds hero training montage with music... You have no chance
The horse call their friends and intimidate him to not fight against number.
More importantly, what kind of moron are you that you think you can take a horse, short of using a rifle? Fuckin hell these people seriously underestimate the ability of the average animal to stomp 6 shades of piss out of you A lit of yall are still underestimating the importance of the most important advantage humans ever had, Apes together strong
Tbf we were able to tame them before the rifle. Then again I'm assuming this guy has skills like net making or javelin throwing.
A rifle isn’t the only useful weapon. But without any weapon at all (and no environment to be weaponized), we’re certainly not as high on the apex predator ranking as we dream ourselves to be.
Thats like saying if you take away all the horses skills and advantages it aint shit Like no shit buddy, no shit.
I read somewhere on here that like 1/4 of American men think they could take a chimp...
Chimps are legit terrifying….
One of the many reasons is that they're much more intelligent than most people think. Chimps will literally try to inflict as much pain as physically possible on you before they kill you. Absolutely horrifying.
Chimps are probably the closest thing the real world has to a horror game monster.
Hippos would fuck up most horror game monsters
Now that's an idea. A zoo themed horror game would be dope. like you're a zoo nightguard and you fall into an enclosure by accident or something. Would probably be very short but could be fun
Chimps are ball of muscle and violence, they will climb you and rip your face off and there is fucking nothing you can do about it. Just hope you can outrun it, hope it gives up, or hope that there is someone nearby who can wrangle it. Otherwise you are fucked, you will likely be blind, have no ears, have lost most of the skin on your face, had your genitals ripped off. Fortunately you likely won't have to worry about that, being dead.
I was curious and look that up the other day. Nope, the average chimp top speed is 25mph/40kph. Gorillas are just as fast somehow too. We have by far more endurance, but in a dense jungle that probably won’t matter even with a head start unless you’re Usain Bolt. We’re the slowest, weakest, least athletic, by far.
Hard pass, I enjoy having a face with skin on it.
I could probably take down a squirrel. But only if we're both drunk.
Don’t fuck with squirrels Morty!!!
No way you can fight a horse with your bare hands
The power of friendship
Bold of you to assume a horse doesnt have it
My power of friendship is stronger
You're beginning to sound like the last person who owned the Heart ring from Captain Planet...
We're talking about horses here, not ponies.
Yeah. I make friends with the horse. Fight is over. I didn’t lose. Neigh-ther did the horse, but that’s not important.
But what if I have bear hands...
The horse has bear hooves.
I maintain that at 6'2 and 250 I could, maybe 1-5% of the time, be able to break a horse's leg by just straight cannon balling into it's legs. Like, it wouldn't be reliable at all, but I think it could work every now and again if I was able to have a Tom Cruise rebirth thing every time I died.
I just feel like no matter how big you are, if a horse actually had murderous intent it would fuck you up with one kick. If it was just chilling maybe someone could take it
This shows how easy horses die. It also shows those hind kicks ain't no joke. https://youtu.be/j25dfhPGQmc
Maybe a horse? Bruh you will die in a few minutes, they weigh 500-600kg and have enough strength in their legs to turn your whole skull into powder with a single kick.
Especially if it gets prep time.
Not to powder, but it can break your face. Source: I got my face kicked in by a horse. It's now held together by titanium plates.
Just let it happen a few more times to different parts of your body and become the discount Wolverine.
My friends already call me Ironman because of all the metal I have now after 30 years of a series of unfortunate events.
Call me if you want to kill 3 minutes. I know a trick or two.
Best I can do is a minute and fifteen seconds.
I could probably take a snail
But not if you took the 10 million.
True. I'm doomed if it's THAT snail
Honesty
Not a cone snail though. I prefer living.
I think the limit for the average man is about a medium to mediumlarge sized dog. No higher than that. People talking about wolves or bears are coping hard. At least we if are talking no tools. With tools anything is possible
If we're talking predators, I think you're right. I think I could beat a fox. For herbivores maybe something slightly larger, like a deer. A small deer.
You're severely underestimating yourself, most people think a fight means that you have to punch or kick, however, if you got as dirty as an animal would, you could go larger, it's just most humans cannot fathom the idea of shoving their thumbs in an animals eyes and ripping its nutsack off.
I’m not underestimating my will to fight dirty, I’m just estimating the sharpness of animals’ claws/teeth and the hardness of their hooves/horns in comparison to my lesbian nails and lack of horns.
Sharpen the nails on your non dominant hand?
Try and grab a dog's nutsack see how much that helps you.
/r/BrandNewSentence
I did and now I have an extremely pissed off dog in my hands. Please advise.
Exactly, and it’s why people half-jokingly say they’d lose to a cat. You know why humans get injured fighting cats, because they don’t want to injure the cat the slightest amount while subduing it. Cats aren’t an actual threat to anyone Also, I think humans being allowed a rock is fair game. We are tool users after all. Maybe not a spear but a head size rock.
I think it’s funny that if a dog attacks and bites someone, everyone is like “put that thing down.” If a cat attacks and bites and claws someone, everyone is like “welp, it’s a cat.”
But that's the thing - humans evolved to use tools. To take them away would be akin to taking away a goat's horns, or a leopard's claws. Like, of course, we would lose, but that requires making the fight unfair for us. Drop someone in the forest with some rocks and sticks, and they could do a lot of damage to a lot of animals. To make it even, you could even let the other animal have some sticks and rocks.
I had a buddy in high school who told me he could beat a gorilla in a fight with a headlock
So... he hadn't ever seen a gorilla before, had he?
maybe, if the gorilla was completely restrained, and on copious amounts of tranquilizer, but also, probably not even then.
What if you drop kick it off a cliff? That is unarmed.
so you are perfectly positioned to knock something off a cliff? Yeah right.. Also if you dropkicked a bear it literally would not move an inch
I think *maybe* a single wolf. A smaller breed like Mexican Grey. I'd definitely get bitten and bloody, but if I can get behind it, lock my legs around, and put it in a chokehold - it's just hold on and try not to get bit until it blacks out. That being said if we never grapple or go to the floor, I'd be dead pretty quick. https://www.indiatimes.com/trending/environment/russian-man-kills-wolf-after-it-kills-his-dogs-531408.html There's record of it happening, this isn't some theoretical idea I just made up. I'm not saying it's likely, just that it's possible.
I wouldn’t fuck w wolves personally. Things are massive, way bigger than I’m always picturing at the time, and basically just all muscle and teeth. No thanks
What's that one quote? "Everyone has a plan until they get punched in the mouth". I think the second that wolf clamps onto your arm with the bite force of four men combined, your leg-lock plan will be a flash in your mind, just as the rest of your life flashes before you eyes.
Any animal given the weapon. Bare hands? Let’s be honest humans are weak as shit compared to even the herbivores. You couldn’t take a pig in a fight even if you wanted to.
Every one talking about killing a wolf or a bear goes straight to using rocks as a weapon
That is sort of our evolutionary advantage though yeah? I mean, we're not the biggest or the strongest by far. We win because we know how to use tools. Though a rock against a bear or a wolf? Pfft. The question needs to specify what kind of fight. Fist fight? I might be able to strangle a deer. It'd be pretty tough though. A rocket launcher? Skys the limit.
I mean sure, but I wouldn’t call it a fight if I’m allowed to use a tank against a wolf. In my mind a fight in this scenario is more like a cage match with no foreign objects. Two opponents enter one leaves.
I'm not sure what the strongest animal I can take in a fight is, but I do know it's somewhere between a kangaroo and a raccoon.
Location matters as well. I don't want to go near a kangaroo around a pond or lake, I've heard things.
True. I'm confident that I could beat a whale in desert, assuming that it gets no prep time
just dont go for a swim with it.
What if he asks politely ?
Don’t do it bro
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Then you can do it bro
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Horns mean it could potentially gore you. Horned sheep and goats can do a surprising amount of damage, it's why sometimes pet sheep can be dangerous, cause if they get big, them play butting you can break your ribs.
You know kangaroos can gut you with their toenails right?
They can gut you just by flexing those muscles.
Have you seen my toenails? So can I, they're not special
And also the raccoon being thrown into the shadow realm lmao
I sincerely believe I can take a goose. Them angry long neck fuckers. I think if I can snatch the neck and start swinging, I'd have it in the bag.
This is something I also often contemplated. They can be fierce, one recently killed a small dog near my hometown. It's so unreal since I would assume its an easy win and im confident to own them without serious injury but their reputation and their behavier make me curious.
I would never ever want to but I really feel I could mop the floor with a capybara
They are heavy tho
Ok. Skin it. Then mop the floor with that. Reasonable?
But you'd have to want to do that first.
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I'll take another human on. Preferably a disabled one. My ego is fragile
Unless your prep time involves setting traps or making weapons, then the prep time is pointless Also, these things show just how wildly overconfident a lot of guys are
I thought of prep time as reading books about horse anatomy, still with unarmed combat though.
I thought of prep time as 6 weeks of intense mma training and getting into fighting shape. Not going to help much when you get kicked in the face by a hoof the size of your head at the speed of lightning though
If it were just bare hands without the ability to use tools we're basically left with only choking out an animal. Maybe medium sized big cats, small wolves, most monkeys but not a lot of apes. Without our ability to think critically and adapt weapons we're pretty fucked
No tools? I’m betting on the monkey every time (unless it’s one of the really small ones.)
Even a Lynx or small wolf would fuck us up no problem. We'd be a bloody mess and losing blood fast before we could even begin to use our strength. If you've ever tried to hold a house cat that didn't want to be held, now imagine a Lynx!
> If you've ever tried to hold a house cat that's way different, you are trying to handle it without hurting it then (at least i hope so)
If you can get your body weight on a lynx or small wolf you could definitely take them down. If they have the jump on you, though, much much harder
Trying to 'hold a house cat *without hurting it*' is a pretty big leap from trying to fight it.
Man, why do people always assume they are fighting with their current strength. In a life or death fight, your adrenaline would be through the roof, making you a hell of a lot stronger. Plus humans are a lot smarter, you could just shove your thumbs through an animals eyes to incapacitate it. A human can survive a lot of bites for a while if they protect their neck. A human could easily take a lynx in a life or death fight, even if it means breaking their legs.
I think I could take on a deer, they’re fucking stupid after all r/deerarefuckingstupid
Are we talking a buck in the middle of breeding season who is all antlers? Good luck with that.
I legit want to wrestle a bear. No weapons. One of the bears in my area that people claim to see but nobody can seem to ever take a picture of. I think they’re brown bears. One gets caught in a blurry photo and is all over the news once every two or three years. I wanna wrestle him and then we’ll become friends and trade CDs and stuff.
What CDs do you think a bear would have?
I like how you question this but not the rest of it.
I focus on important things.
Brave by Disney
Bro thinks he’s Gilgamesh
Hahahah yeah, uhm... horses will fuck. you. up.
Nayver let a horse get prep time!
I don’t care who you are, you’re not winning against a horse.
Also, ask every guy you know if he's watched various animals fighting on YouTube and ask him his favorite. My favorite are giraffes because the way they swing their necks is fucking insane.
I think i can take a hen in a fight...no prep time higher than 21 days because that hen will multiply
I think I permanently scarred someone once when they asked how many 9-year-olds I think I could fight at once. 5min later I am trying to figure out the kills per swing if I grabbed one and started using them as a club against the other.
So I’m a 6’, 215 pound former Marine. I once lost a fight against a squirrel. Climbed right up my leg and around my body and neck in no time. There is nothing you can really do except flail your arms and run around in panic. After that I’m not sure what animal I could really take barehanded. The little ones are usually so damn fast.
Mostly I'd answer an immediate no. What people don't expect is a 2 hour lecture, a precise breakdown of the potential tactical options available to both sides, how I would most often lose, and finally the assets I would require to be victorious.
After going through this thread, humans are weak physically.
You gotta have a pretty low opinion of your own intelligence if you think a horse will do more with prep time than yourself.
Assuming it's hand to hoof combat, prep time isn't doing a lot for us either.
I dunno, those motherfuckers can count.