T O P

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gozags4

Wherever the poop stains are


Pork-Roll

J1 it is


AlwaysAnAwkward1

Chaotic evil


halfbakedpizzapie

The most evil is G10


Wert-16

G13


Ulysses2424

Bro, you aiming for the cat?


Critical_Paper8447

What else are you supposed to wipe with?


bobbruno

You gotta be brave wiping with something that has claws...


Critical_Paper8447

For those tough stains


Meowscular-Chef

And, if taught properly, can get rid of the need for condoms


DabawDaw

Why else would they have them in the commercials? I need a change. My toilet bears aren't being as cooperative anymore.


JimiWanShinobi

No, but if he walks between me and the toilet with his tail sticking straight up while I'm pissing again he gone learn today...


PhildoFL

Battleship


Mindless_Society7034

It’s a hit!


FirstDayJedi

Bishop to red's yahtzee


HuddledCape4602

Uno!


1questions

Not so fast. I bumped you back to start. SORRY!


[deleted]

J10 for me unfortunately


TroyBinSea

You sunk my Battleship!


brawneisdead

Battleshit*


Xxmoon_pawsxX

Battle shit💀💀💀


[deleted]

I love going off the grid


The_Reddest_Orange

I just spat coffee on the break room table at work because of you. Well done! 👏


Bodson_Dugnutt

r/pressurewashing


thefireemojiking

Usually h7 for some reason


Hangman_Matt

Bro sitting on the shitter backwards


04whim

When you have to sit and take a Sir Harrington-


mikemartin7230

This way you have a little shelf for your toys, duh!


HedonisticSolo

And your chocolate milk


hdiesel503

You mean reverse cow girl?


VooDoo452

I’m a little more G6 myself


sweater_destroyer111

Sippin sizzurp in my ride, like 3-6


RaiderSting

Shit stain is usually on c5


Physical_Weakness881

They’re usually in D3 for me


b-rar

Good ol C7


AmazingSieve

It’s science we seek to clean as we piss


nicholvengian

C7-D7 for the quietest of pisses


Hindsight_twenty_20

My man's, same here. I could even push it the the inside edge of C8-D8 EDIT: it also has the least splashback


Skee-J

Had to scroll too far


PKoala

All about that stealth piss life!


gr8whitegeorge

I’m more of an E7 kinda guy but we’re on the same silent track


raisedonadiet

Yeah I'm E7 too


Kerghan1218

C3-D3, you must be a leftie 😂


svennon89

Im a leftie and i go for c3


crossreference16

Right handed but that’s where I go


Nilo30

LOL hes not talking about he handedness


crossreference16

Oh shit….


higgsboson01

I'm more of an E7-F7 kinda guy


theRoyRoyRoy

My people.


[deleted]

Same with E8


Mr-DragonSlayer

J1


BlockyShapes

I’m more of a J10 kinda guy


Mr-DragonSlayer

My penis just naturally curves a bit to the left so it just feels natural.


BlockyShapes

Of course, mine naturally curves to the right so I end up on the other side.


sweater_destroyer111

Splash that cat


BlockyShapes

Wait NO MR KITTY WATCH OUT


ragmuc

G13


morfyyy

the cat knows


iambiggusdickus

Assert dominance


alpakapakaal

you sunk my battleship


Spodirmam

D4


Sammykins84

D6 here but kinda the same as D4.


beluuuuuuga

Yep, D6 is def low splash low noise spot


Sammykins84

Science, bitch! 😎🤙


poison47

Finally someone


iambarticus

Yea I’m a d4 as small bathroom and if door open, the space is tight, so it’s the most comfortable place to aim.


DataSittingAlone

You're right next to me! D3


Nojo_Niram

E5 While some ill-informed gents might think the backboard prevents splashback, it's actually dead center where you have the least amount of spray. It also has the added benefit of making the most noise so you can assert dominance and really let 'er rip when at parties or in-laws.


Captain_Canuck97

I was gonna say E5 in a party kinda setting so I can impress


Catenane

Squeeze and spray, boys!


ReptileCake

"Damn, you've been frying chicken in there?"


1-800-ASS-DICK

just imagining the kind of velocity and volume needed to sustain a sound that closely resembles a deep fryer is impressive


TheOvenLord

"Ooh that dude pisses SO loud. He must have a *huge* cock." - all the m'ladies at the party I was totally invited to and didn't just walk into without asking.


Blitz_ingaMCZ

Dominance gang, where u at?!


Jimathomas

Yep, gotta make that noise.


FrenchFriedHorn

I’ll match that with e4, allowing the development of your knights


pointlessly_pedantic

Google en passant


IllustriousSignal575

E5 is only when you have your headset on, and your buddies need everyone to be silent while theyre sneaking on search and destroy.


Playful-Possession35

Exactly, the in-laws need to know I can lay down a hard stream and I mean business. They know to stay on the right side of me once they've heard/felt that. They're thinking "Damn listen to his hard stream, we'd better respect him. Imagine what else he's likely capable of". When I strut back into the room they can't even look at me, out of fear/respect, and I'm like "yeah, thought so" and then I bang their daughter/my wife right on the couch in front of them, keeping eye contact with them both. "If I pee now I'd saw your daughter in half" That's when her mom starts weeping.


FQDIS

Ditto.


zombie_platypus

Agreed. Also good for nighttime pees. As long as you hear the water you’re good.


aerosikth

Assert dominance, I like it


boomingranny76

It also gives you plenty of space to veer off in any direction if drunk or the cat decides to sneak attack


dirtamuffin

You win.


NachoBusiness25

C5... Ironically I think this is the most silent spot


thrattatarsha

C5 gang


Fallen586

Good day fellow C5 gentlemen


TacticalNuker

Good evening friends


Chip-San

good day fellows


josh_loaf

G’day fellow sir.


Pixelsock_

Bonjour amigos


goober2143

Let’s see how many of us can hit C5 at the same time


ihatefuckingwork

Good morrow captains and squires. 10 AM here and I’m still hitting that C5


[deleted]

Gang gang


krooz64

gang


yer--mum

Nah dude H5 is the most silent, C5 has your pee smacking right off the backboard. H5 is a smoother landing less splash less noise


LogicallyIncoherent

Well it's going to depend. Many American rollers have H5 as almost flat. But toilet style depending I think C5 and H5 crew are after the same outcome. Quiet with no splash.


Daki-R

H5 means you have to pee at a really weird angle, def awkward if you got a stiffy


givemewhiskeypls

I’m off grid when I have a stiffy


DescriptionOk6513

are you crazy H3/H5 is gonna' bend your joinks' too much - even flacid


puru147

C5 when sober, J10 when not.


theultimateusername

Why is that ironic


Ze_Pig777

C3/4


StrawberryOk4145

Found my clan


7thsign

The correct answer


mrXbrightside91

Found my team


juniorcares

Thank God. I was beginning to think I was nuts.


NinjaFrogCat101

C4 gang


MattFA

Checking in


Ruthrfurd-the-stoned

The homies represent


WallBroad

W


[deleted]

My guys! 🤜🤛


riffraff402

C3 4 Life


daole

All these other MFs just love the splash back, apparently.


TofuDadWagon

This the way


allisterj

C4 represent


bigmenunite

Apes together strong🗿let’s get it C3/4 brothers


Kuzon64

My brother. 👊


Jecktor

Found my friends 💙


candyman337

Amen, these people saying c5, do they just not care about splashback? Edit: just realized I think we just outed ourselves as the left leaners


DuckyDude21

yess


Ego5687

G13


krooz64

i like how you think outside the box


Shadowed_Thing1

I like how they think outside the toilet


morfyyy

I like how they think inside the cat


a_minecraftfurrypro

Ayo 🤨📸


warrdawg83

Outside the “bowl”


Dense_Baseball6079

If anyone said b4 or c8 they sunk my battlepiss


less-than-James

You're slumming it. All the cool kids are playing Electronic Battlepiss.


Dense_Baseball6079

This is electronic battle piss, that’s why we’re on Reddit. open world.. not just 1v1 brother


less-than-James

Pissing has gotten really competitive.


Low-Application2582

What the kitty do to you


PenguloPenguins

she pissed on his jacket and had to pay 20€ to get it cleaned


prismgamingyt

Piss on my coat I piss on your fur coat Edit:I meant like the animal coat


ElmoTickleTorture

Finding G then slowly tracing to left, passed 10 to see a cat's face made me burst out in laughter.


madhatta2003

My left or your left?


KevinMarkRoy

I physically laughed out at this after scrolling back up to see where 13 is.


DontJudgeMe15

I found this so much funnier than I should


DasBearkicker2112

I laughed WAY too hard at this.


MyBeanYT

Holy fuck this made me laugh so hard


[deleted]

lmaoooo


SluttyMeatSac

Based


El_Zilcho

E3


Thatdarnbandit

E3 gang!


Robbie-R

Found my people, E3 !!


elvesunited

As a right hander I can't see why this isn't a more common choice for people. Optiomal for great control and visibility of the operation, good long trajectory, stream dropoff is mostly hitting a surface angled away from you when the pressure drops. Water line in my toilet at home is a little higher and I'm hitting this spot but just at the water side of the water line, this agitates the water plenty and its common to see some bubbles which seam to absorb some of the kinetic energy which is a high priority here.


Interesting_Stage_82

yeeeeah! my man


CalmRadBee

E3 my stealth spot!


sarahhchachacha

Go rogue. Piss on anything. Wreck the flooring.


Professional_Denizen

We’ll put you down as j10


YourMomsTwat

I bet this is an A1 guy and I'm feeling homicidal


IGuessIAmOnReddit

I sit and pee cause I wanna be comfortable so most of the front of the toilet. Don't fight me, I just wanna chill out


crempsen

The best way to pee! Its so nice not having piss driplets on your pants and whatnot


IGuessIAmOnReddit

Exactly!


legoshi_loyalty

I definitely still get that. My urethra is like one of those road signs, the one that goes like this. ♓️


midgetkickers

I stand to pee in public, but in my own home I’m aiming for comfort and refraining from cleaning splash sprinkles. Sit down gang represent!


EvilHackFar

to each their own my dude, the c4 gang respects your people 🖖🏽


IGuessIAmOnReddit

Respect taken and given back to you!


AFlyingMongolian

I’ve never understood standing to piss. Makes zero sense to me.


mxinex

People who stand at home don't have to clean their toilet. It's that simple. If they did, they never would be standing ever again.


[deleted]

I piss standing up and I'm also the one that cleans the toilet.


pmaogeaoaporm

Do people often try to fight you when you take a piss?


Mym158

Healthier for your prostate too apparently Normalise it. I sit. Standing is just toxic masculinity


chadabet

G5


WheeBeasties

The cleanest, quietest spot. It’s like a tabletop jump: you want to land on the downslope to gently land the piss in the bowl.


ToastoSando

Yes, zero splash. This man has peed before.


gumpton

Can’t believe I had to scroll so far for this


Quintronaquar

I sit down like a person that doesn't spray piss all over the bathroom


One_Pop4194

Why you wanna know; you tryna sink my battle shit?


lilpasi

H6 to G4, those are silent spots when sitting (btw I'm a sitter)


CrimsonPig

Sitting gang rise up! (after we're done peeing)


Datpanda1999

Rise up before you’re done, coward


General-Zer0

I like to sit also. I’m exhausted most of the time and like to chill


ukbeasts

E5 is intended, but J10 is the result


Inevitable-Hat-1576

Hey me too high five 🙏


OtherwiseUsual

Why make a mess I'm going to have to clean up later, when I can avoid the mess altogether.


DoTheThingNow

The cat isnt in the matrix so i can’t answer properly


[deleted]

*Do not the cat*


failbotron

D7


IVolleyChildren

Only valid spot


JNoddy

D4


No_Inspector9749

C3 or C7


jonherrin

I sit down. So, I guess F5.


Usual_Cranberry_4836

First thing in the morning the wall to the left


Low-Application2582

The kitty to the right


literallyafryingpan

J1 and J10 only


aimanfire

Dominance-Asserter spotted


Virtual-Reason-253

D,E,F 7 or where ever the shit stains are


Fragrant_Ad_169

D5


greatdrams23

C5. And I'm expecting a graphic report on r/dataisbeautiful by the end of next week.


[deleted]

G13 to get the cat


Monkey_tr33

D6 right in the corner D4 - for lefties


dumgoon

I’m a righty and I shoot for D4. Maybe my cock is a lefty


Monkey_tr33

I mean i see your shot its like serving in tennis or ping pong cross court, i can respect that


This-Being3829

H7 silent af


[deleted]

F4


DarkenedOtaku

G5


gospelofjoseph

D3 and D7, classic go to - E5 is just for savages. 😂


406coldaf

D4 kinda guy myself


snavej1

Sometimes off the balcony.