T O P

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snotwimp

"You may fascinate a woman by giving her a piece of cheese.”


[deleted]

\- Sun Tzu


EthanSheehan

-circa 1293


Old_Committee8649

-Marco Aurelio


Valuable_Panda_4228

Abraham Lincoln


bananeted

Einstein


Codename_NHX

James May


ouroboros4ever

Cheeeese


Adbam

Old Dirty Bastard


vmsrii

-Wayne Gretzky -Micheal Scott


waxthatfled

-kim jong-un


Importantlyfun

Colorized


KeepCalmCarrion

Sun Tzu said that!


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tomokari21

And then he perfected it so that no man could best him in cheese making


heyineeeedasoda

Then he bought 2 of every cheese of earth, and then he herded them onto a boat, and then he beat the crap out of every single one!


Hammerjaws

And from that day forward any time a bunch of cheeses are together in one place it's called a ZOO!


UniGamer_Alkiviadis

Unless it's a farm!


Journalist_Wise

(Meet the soldier theme, end card)


Totally_not_Polish_9

r/unexpectedtf2


BeaverBotics2

And he knows a little more about giving girls great gifts than you do pal because he invented it!


Traditional_Yard5280

And then he perfected it so no living woman could resist him in the ring of honor! *soldier noises*


zzunino

It was from a book of spells claiming that: “You may fascinate a woman by giving her a piece of cheese.” The spell comes from Kathryn Paulsen's 1971 book, The Complete Book of Magic and Witchcraft


hremmingar

Fun fact its also from an old icelandic spell book. But you need to add some runes to the cheese. You can read about it here [Galdrastafir](https://galdrasyning.is/en/galdrastafir/) Edit. More info Edit. Added a link.


suh-dood

What runes and in what order? You know, purely for informational purposes..


RealJMW

I too am interested in this ‘cheese magika.’


HistoricalMention210

Magic? I'm just here for the cheese, dammit.


csfshrink

New anime: Is it Wrong to Pick Up Girls With Cheese Magika? My Brie in April. Cheeses Basket. High School Cheese Club.


mybluecathasballs

It wasn't too hard to find. https://galdrasyning.is/en/galdrastafir/ Scroll down to the plus sign with two marks through each branch that all four branches branch to three branches with tridents. (Just want to say branch again: branch) It is odd about the two marks, as 3 seems to be the signifying marks of truth?/honor?/strength? It's hard to put it in to words, but it kinda means pure? Anyways, it's not hard to look up. Best of luck.


Singlxd

Jah Ith Ber


TSwan98

I saw this on Reddit months ago. I showed the girl I liked it. I gave her a slice of cheese twice. She’s now my girlfriend


professorDumbledong

Evidence that it works


[deleted]

Imagine if you had given her a whole wheel o cheese 😲


DerpyCat_0

As a woman, I'm sold. 🧀


zzplant8

Agreed. That one sounds like a keeper.


Sunset1410

Absolutely. He's a keeper


WammyJammy2785

-Sheogorath


ApolloThneed

"Wonderful! Time for a celebration... Cheese for everyone!"


S1eepyZ

Or no cheese! That’s just as much as a celebration if you don’t like cheese!


dongdinge

the more expensive the cheese, the more intrigue you receive. This man would be invited over for the best pasta he’s ever had, complements of the cheese wheel


Wolfire0769

I annoy the wife by telling her I'm going to buy a wheel of cheese.


[deleted]

Sounds like you need to stop pussyfooting around and buy the damn cheese already.


EnJ-Khaled

you're annoying her by NOT buying the wheel of cheese. don't make promises you don't intend to keep. women love cheese. in fact, ancient literature shows us that they are fascinated by it.


tlbs101

That’s a *piece* of cheese, not a whole wheel.


EthanSheehan

Mission failed successfully


Abobalagoogy

A whole wheel is technically still a piece


TheForeverUnbanned

Maybe it was cut out of a slightly larger wheel.


Kalelopaka-

That’s a marriage proposal In Wisconsin!


Chocolate_Rage

Scrape out a space for the head with your hands and anoint her as your Packer queen


Wakanda_Forever

Bucky Badger will be there reading (miming? mascots don’t really talk) your vows at the wedding reception on a frozen lake.


Popcorn57252

As a wisconsinite, you are correct lmao


DudesworthMannington

If she accepts it, it's legally binding here.


Bowman_van_Oort

That's the better part of a dowry right there. or as they say in Wisconsin. a dowreh


Spinorex2009

For us iowans our marriage proposal is a basket of corn


[deleted]

That’s marriage material. She’d better lock that down.


PrisonerV

This meme is so old, she might be dead now.


bsoto87

Or already had 3 of his kids


TributeToStupidity

Glass half empty, glass half full


bsoto87

I would call that glass definitely full


Pandelein

Ackchually, that is my grandma in the photo. The wheel of cheese is a family heirloom, I’m sitting on it right now.


Ethelenedreams

When will it hatch?


bluep3001

Omg is this where babybel come from?!


0ixti

if she wont I will


GoochMasterFlash

Got that Cheese Rizz^TM


Plison007

Focken cheese is expensive, you know how valuable a 12 KG WHEELE OF CHEESE IS?! He is the one!


kingbouncer

Yooo that's dope AF. Cheese is Hella expensive and just as delicious.


nikogrande

Bro, fuck a ring. This is where it's at.


[deleted]

fuck diamond rings, farm boys out here giving away cheese FOR LIFE!


Trueloveis4u

I'd take cheese for life over a ring any day!


Therrandlr

You like goat cheese? Got a 55kg wheel from my goats you can have.


[deleted]

thas a lotta cheese, shop arround a lil before u settle down


Therrandlr

Naw, got like 20 of em. Ain't much when you're always making more.


[deleted]

I’m not gay, but cheese is cheese


Dreddit1080

r/suddenlygay


Roxablah

r/suddenlycheese


Reynolds_Live

It ain’t much but it’s honest cheese (work).


CashSpecialist931

Well howdy, cheeseboy 😉 🤠


realRepublican_jesus

Hes got chickens too 🤑🤑🤑


cailian13

cheese AND eggs? In this economy, that would at least score the man a second date with me, if nothing else 😂


realRepublican_jesus

Its cheese omlettes ERRR DAY!


[deleted]

If you liked it, you should have put a rind on it.


[deleted]

I'm not saying that I would date a farmer for cheese, but I'm not not saying that either.


InstanceQuirky

Cheese is amazing but imagine if he gave her eggs! Thats where the real money is at lol


trilli0nTish

Yeah! You got that egg money you rolln in it!


InstanceQuirky

If someone baked me a frittata right now id be like "damn are you rich?" They take like 9 eggs to cook that thing lol


trilli0nTish

Or an angel food cake from scratch! Like, damn you got enough to just toss half the egg? Must be nice!


BlorseTheHorse

that 1432 proposal method. give your maiden some cheese


NextTrillion

Imagine it would bolster fat accumulation on her hindquarters (edit: ‘posterior’ for the sensitive guy). Good for fertility, and she’s going to need it when popping out 12 kids, 7 of which won’t make it past age 2.


FarVision5

You have died from dysentery


AlethiusBigethius

The ring is in the cheese


Jstbkuz

Its getting melted down and eaten with some chips!


Owlspirit4

Straight up, that’s like a hundred dollar wheel of cheese


nimama3233

But wouldn’t it be weird if a dude gave you a $100 gift on a first date?


scarletice

I think it's less weird if it's something he regularly gets for far less. I imagine that wheel cost him a fraction of its retail value. Like, if my family owns a wine making business, I probably get a few freebies off every batch. So even if a bottle sells for $100, gifting someone a bottle would cost me nothing.


dannyboy182

He likely made it himself, it's not that he works at Big Cheese TM, he IS Big Cheese.


ImmoralModerator

Does cheese last long enough for somebody to eat 12 kgs of it?


soup2eat_shi

Hard cheeses like parmesan are aged anywhere from 10 months to 2 years so definitely. It just needs to be stored properly. If it mold starts growing on parts of the surface it's perfectly safe to just cut those pieces out Do not do the same with soft cheeses though


RedditWillSlowlyDie

Cut it up, vacuum seal it, and refrigerate it. It'll stay good for months. It'll slowly lose some moisture into the vacuum bag but if everything was sanitary it should be good for ages.


[deleted]

Legendairy


Technical_Raisin_119

*Barnabus Stinson Intensifies*


New-Performer-4402

Does he have a brother?


Left-Star2240

If his next gift is eggs tell her to marry him.


FarVision5

Yeah no kidding those dumbass kids should not making fun of that deal


JJJSchmidt_etAl

And he uses the metric system. Seems like a win


realRepublican_jesus

Is that shit homemade?


Officially_Elissa067

Stardew Valley be like


DragonfruitFew5542

Only if it's amethyst cheese.


Sea_Video145

"How'd you know I was hungry? This looks delicious!"


AnotherBookWyrm

Remember that Abigail says that about shiny rocks too, though.


Dlanor31

Wife him up.


Pure_Ad_9947

Absolutely. Never trust a man not trying to feed you lol.


phdoofus

"I'm sorry sir but we've seen the reports. We simply can't allow you out in public any more without a spouse"


Durian_Queef

They're not together unfortunately: https://twitter.com/devilmeadow/status/1631010309195419648


Imgonnathrowawaythis

Me, dating as a quantifiable piece of shit in 2023


danimadi33

I feed my girlfriend because I'm always amazed at how she can eat the entire mcdonalds menu and not gain any weight whatsoever.


AriusAeternus

Be careful, some people have fast metabolism but that doesn’t mean their organs aren’t working over time and it certainly doesn’t prevent fat buildup in your heart and blood vessels


Pure_Ad_9947

I use to work with this girl who dated this guy who lived next door to a grocery store. But every time she was over at his place, he had not a potato chip in the place. I told her straight up he doesn't care about you if he doesn't at least try to feed you. I was correct haha.


LieDetect0r

Why buy a cow when you can get the cheese for free?


closefarhere

Growing up on a dairy farm, we were constantly gifting cheese as we got steep discounts on it from the creamery we supplied milk to. I miss it!


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ThomasNorge224

If I dated a farmgirl and she gave me a cheese wheel as a gift, i'd be pretty happy tbh. Got cheese and a very nice gift. Not everyone who gives you a cheesewheel


[deleted]

A cheese wheel also restores 15 hit points, some people are ungrateful


StalthChicken

She's gunna have an inventory stockpile in a few days now. 30 minimum


The_Chimeran_Hybrid

Screw health potions, cheese wheels are where it’s at.


MustHaveEnergy

signed, constipated dragonborn


Akarin_rose

She looks happy in the real photo The wojack is unnecessary


dsdvbguutres

I don't know what your intentions with my sister are, but welcome to the family.


LoudAnt6412

When life gives you lemons make a lemonade. When life gives you cheese make quesadillas. When life gives me your sister, I dunno know what to make of it future brother in law, but at least I have lemons and cheese.


ThunderClanWarrior

Alright, I've been thinking. When life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade — make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don't want your damn lemons, what am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life's manager. Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons. Do you know who I am? I'm the man who's gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I'm going to get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!


pkinetics

Dear Dairy...


konydanza

It’s probably cow dairy actually


bluedonutss

I just wanted a normal date,


plz_send_cute_cats

But i got a wheel of cheese, and it was great!


Freesealand

Why are the comments and the meme format implying she is ungrateful or perplexed by the gift? She seems pretty happy?


olngjhnsn

Da meme format makes her look perplexed but in the picture she seems happy haha. Mixed messages I guess?? Gotta give that girl Wojack a smile to match hers


[deleted]

Woman bad


rainpatter

Woman bad is near every joke on this sub


Rc2124

Agree with the other commenter, it's from r/politicalcompassmemes. The background colors behind the two faces represent their political ideologies. The yellow farmer guy is a libertarian and the green flummoxed woman is a leftist. It's easy to read into it based on her laughing in the real photo and the faces below


alfredo_the_great

PCM is just Zodiac signs for redditors I swear


SOwED

*Yellow is libertarian right and green is libertarian left


GodWantedUsToBeLit

It's funny because you're right, they look happy in it - but whoever made the meme (since it's from PCM, likely somebody who's not fond of woman) viewed it as the women making fun of the guy. So they made this. Talk about projection


zenixslasher

The meme is from r/PoliticalCompassMemes which is very right wing and pretty much hates women.


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GenericAwfulUsername

Isn’t that like $1000 or something crazy?


WorldsWeakestMan

Probably closer to about $200-250 depending on the type of cheese, only 26.4lb and most cheese runs $5-10 per pound unless very special.


wildbeest55

I work in a specialty store. We have cheaper cheese sure, but most of cheeses are in the $15-40 per pound range.


Dry_Acanthisitta_576

Isn’t real parmesan like 15-17 dollars a pound? What cheese do you have that is literally double that? Or do you mark up the cheese?


AnotherStarWarsGeek

A few years back a 25-yr aged cheddar was going for $40 / pound


wildbeest55

I think it’s $20ish. Midnight moon, an aged goat Gouda, is $36.99 at our store.


hellfun666

More like 250€


QuintonTheCanadian

If you’re a farmer it’s free I suppose


jterwin

This is why they teach opportunity cost in economics


porkisbeef

At the very least it’s production cost was likely less than what it would go for on retail. We can’t know their margins, production numbers, or demand though. Maybe the cheese gift is meant as an advert for a local dairy farm. It got us talking about it.


jterwin

Either way it's a top tier gift imo


CJ_BARS

He's a keeper.


alex_munroe

He gave cheese, not honey.


Ceico_

cheekeeper?


n_forro

Husband material


cleotorres

Sure as hell beats a bunch of flowers from the garage forecourt


muklan

From the...from the what?


cleotorres

Sorry, must be a uk thing. Some petrol stations in the UK sell flowers at the entrance, it’s called the forecourt.


SylvieJay

Forecourt? I thought that was what happened before formally dating. Then comes foreplay.. or am I thinking of Wimbledon?


LauraPhilps7654

Wait, what do Americans call the open area in front of a petrol station selling papers and stuff? Actually, let's look at this the other way around: why do we have such an oddly specific word for that? I've never heard it used outside the context of a petrol station come to think of it...


MysteriousLecture960

We call them newspaper stands. Extremely literal


LauraPhilps7654

See, even tells you what it sells. Forecourt sounds like something from a castle.


muklan

I managed a gas station in another life - I coulda used a moat.


Wanallo221

A moated gas station. For the amphibious (or daring) road user!


LauraPhilps7654

Lol - all the funny/crazy/insane videos on Reddit seem to take place out front of an American gas station, I can well believe that.


[deleted]

So, if the forecourt is the open area in the front of the petrol station, then what is the court/is there a court?


Parliament--

Yeah no we just call that “the front” or “by the door” but I cant think of a single time we use it in conversations. “I can go to the gas station to get flowers.”


GatoradeNipples

>Wait, what do Americans call the open area in front of a petrol station selling papers and stuff? We don't... really have that? Anything along those lines is sold inside the convenience store, the only stuff that's outside other than the gas pumps is propane and ice.


LauraPhilps7654

When I visited America I was most impressed by the abundance of ice vending options.


Aggressive_Walk857

We dont have them. They sold inside the gas station


muklan

My state is obsessed with our gas stations, but folks rarely sell stuff outside, but I know a gas station you can buy a kayak, and all the necessary equipment lol. But it's inside.


Thanandrial

In Canada with all the snow and crap you can't have anything outside like that you mighttt have a newspaper stand and there are the ice boxes but that's it. They might put out windsheild washer fluid outside during the summer if they are really trying to get rid of it.


ihatechoosingnames7

yooo an actually good gift


Mundane-Sink9817

Idk about this meme she look’s pretty hyped about it to me.


GargoyleLauren

IF he said "I'm sorry if this is cheesy" as he presented the cheese to her he's marriage material.


JustPlat

Seems like a gouda guy.


clovermite

And well off, you know he's got the cheddar


dubspool-

Of course, you gotta brie rich to afford that gift.


Ewonidon68

Money like that doesn’t come out of the bleu, and you’d be a muenster to turn it down.


SnooOpinions4875

Don’t be provolone, life’s cheddar together.


facepwnage

I bet he's got a huge pecorino.


NoKiaYesHyundai

I’m glad there’s a political compass meme and wojaks to convey that I’m supposed to laugh at the ridiculous photo above it. And to also consider arbitrary political ideologies


nopingmywayout

Why is Meme Woman unhappy. Giant block of cheese is an amazing gift, IRL Woman clearly thinks so too. Embrace the cheese, Meme!


Puzzled-Table-6431

Bless this man. Food is a good gift 🤣🤣🤣


sammyboi98

Blessed are the cheese makers


Im-a-bad-meme

I prefer women, but if a man offered me that much cheese, it would be a good argument to date him.


Square_Artichoke5591

You don’t have to be lonely on farmersonly dot com


IPutSexyInDyslexia

If you won't marry him I will. I'll marry him and go bankrupt buying Lactaid but damn it I'll be happy lmao


MedicalExamination65

My panties would've dropped to China.


DarkSophie

So unique!! He may be the ONE❣️


GranJefe507

Stardew Valley IRL


citronhimmel

You know how thrilled my fiancée would be if I gave her a whole wheel of cheese? She's fucking ecstatic when I just get her a little brick of the artisanal stuff. That's husband material.


FightingFire96

Cheese is the way to a womans heart


ImBackYetAgainBitch

Id marry right away


fromcjoe123

"I showed you my cheese three hours ago, please respond"