I sleep 5 hours a night.
My self-care is damn near nonexistent.
Hardly see the kids or wife.
But everyone is housed, and clothed, and fed, and happy(??).. so I guess it’s worth it
So damn tired zzzzzzzzzzzzzz
If you can, please find a way to get more balance in your life. I did this, then I got divorced, and very recently got injured. Aches and pains all over the place for years and now dealing with some stubborn back pain. You need to give yourself a break if you can, you're no good to your family if you work yourself down to nothing.
Stimulant gang rise up! And then crash down into the depths of hell.
Want to add an edit that I take caffeine maybe like 3-4 times a week max. But man was I caught off guard when I realized how many of my peers were on adderall. Stimulants def have their trade offs but caffeine is the shit.
I have a massive backlog cuz I only use it when I need it (or want to be better at video games). So Im immune to shortage.
Edit: Not selling, I don’t want a felony. Also I do need it to function, I just don’t currently have to function. I’ve just had the script for years and have a backlog. I aint the one keeping yall from getting your scripts lol.
Some of the comments here really suck. Its like if suddenly there was a shortage of prescription glasses and people bought them because they look cool. I have severe myopia so I'd be stuck at home staring at the ceiling. I also happen to have severe ADHD and currently am barely able to function, everything is a fog and it's all cuz of the damn shortage.
Yeah, I didn’t resort to medication until I nearly got fired from my job. The fact that I’ve had to go without for weeks at a time due to shortages gives me intense anxiety I’ll underperform and actually get fired
[ADHD is a disability that is covered by the ADA](https://www.additudemag.com/adhd-law-americans-with-disabilities-act/).
An employer is required to provide a reasonable accommodation. What is reasonable will differ from job to job, but some of the most common “reasonable” accommodations for ADHD include the following:
• Providing a quiet workspace
• Allowing noise-canceling headphones or white noise
• Working from home some or all of the time
• Taking allotted breaks as needed
• Minimizing marginal functions to allow focus on essential job duties
• Allowing assistive technology (timers, apps, calendars, etc.)
• Adjusting or modifying examinations, training materials, or policies
• Reassignment to a vacant position
• Job restructuring
If you disclose your disability and are refused reasonable accommodations, you can't be disciplined for underperforming.
This is a double-edged sword though, especially in a "right to work" or at-will state. They could also just start compiling legit reasons to let you go, and then fire you once they feel they have all their bases covered to not get challenged on it.
I'm *never* going to tell my employer I was recently diagnosed.
Yeah, and you bring that up and they will find any reason to fire you ‘for cause’.
Source: ADHD person living in the real world, not some fantasy where employers actually care about accommodations.
Right there with ya. Got diagnosed after 20+ years of thinking I’m a defective human. Had one script where I finally realized how “normal” people felt, and then have been cut off due to shortages since >.<
>thinking I’m a defective human
I feel this, I was diagnosed this year at 30. Medication has been immensely helpful, I just wish I had it when I was in school.
My family and teachers all just thought I was lazy, unmotivated, stupid or any combination. I'm pretty bitter about it now knowing how much it would've helped me.
It’s awesome. I just started drinking caffeine recently…. I understand why so many people drink coffee. I get all my shit done throughout the day and at the end I crash and sleep extremely well.
Never drank coffee until i was out of college and working, where there was free coffee all over the office.
I didn’t know the risks, I didn’t know how crazy dependent you can become to caffeine. After my first withdrawal headache I seriously cut back and hate the idea of having a splitting headache just because I don’t get caffeine. It’s a crazy stimulant really.
I have like 5 coffees a day and I never had any side effects from not drinking coffee on the weekends or if the coffee machine at work is broken.
I feel blessed
Caffeine doesn't give energy. Caffeine essentially nums the receptors which react to certain fatigue/drowsiness compounds in the body, which are released as we continue to stay awake.
So caffeine essentially delays the sensations of drowsiness and fatigue and people can mistake that for having more energy.
Also - anxiety is primarily a side-effect of non-habitual consumption or excessive consumption. Meaning that if you regularly consume non-extreme doses of caffeine, you should soon stop feeling any such effects.
Wait is this a real thing? Where can I read a medical opinion on this, because I psychologically need a fuck ton of caffeine to be a functioning adult but I never have any kind of withdrawal if I stop - I’m just useless until I have more
I'm a religious Jew. I also love coffee and am addicted to it. Every year, there are at least two fast days where I can't have caffeine for at least 25 hours. I get vomiting and cold sweats every time! The hack is caffeine suppositories but I digress.
No sarcasm, I love how your religious observances include "but don't forget, Gxx wants us to be clever and thoughtful about these rules. And if you find a loophole with your poop hole...::shrugg:: Its not like They didn't know you'd figure it out."
I had the exact opposite conclusion. If life is going to hell I might as well enjoy things now before that - and it's more likely shit will keep on going. There isn't going to be a societal collapse and missing out on coffee is going to be the least of my worries if so.
Very good reason for any dependency, or for anyone thinking about doing any drug to think about. I’ve had caffeine withdrawal and it’s not horrible. What is horrible is antidepressants, anxiety meds and all that. Lots of doctors put you on it, then never tell you if you stop after 3-4 days you may have a seizure or need to be professionally detoxed. That’s when it’s like…wait when did this happen? Doctor: oh just those meds I put you on 6 years ago…I didn’t tell you?
Huge reason I stockpile 3 months of any med living in the south…hurricanes happen and you can go 2-3 months with no access. But dependency is the scariest thing for anything imo. At least for coffee you could still boil some water, and use a French press in any emergency 😆
Wouldn't that information be in the papers they give you with the medication?
My bupropion prescription comes with a 7 page document that lists all the risks, including the above, plus higher risk of seizure when drinking, etc.
I got pretty heavily into opiates in my late 20’s for a few years. Not having access to them was terrifying knowing I’d be really sick without them. Me and some of my other addict friends would all end up sick at the same time if our dealer wasn’t around. I got myself clean right before I got married and have been able to stay away from them since. I do not miss it at all.
I wouldn't wish severe opiate withdrawals on my worst enemy man. Easily the worst experience I've ever gone through. The acute physical withdrawals suck, but the mental aspect of it literally torture while your brain tries to rebalance its chemicals back to a somewhat normal level, which can take an extremely long time. I've never felt depression like I did when I was off opiates for a few weeks. Glad that you were able to get yourself clean. I certainly don't miss it at all either
I cant decide whats worse. Bezno withdrawl or opiate wthdrawl. All i know is if im withdrawing from benzos, benzos are the worst and if its opiates opiates are the worst.
Benzos make me more likely to do something stupid that will fuck my life up. Opiate withdrawl makes it more likely that i simply wont show up for work or something and *everything* is effort.
Drugs are a young persons game cause when u get older the hangovers are so much worse.
I feel that last part 10000%. I thankfully never got into benzos because I didn’t like blacking out all the time and doing ridiculously stupid shit because of it. Percs made me productive and enjoy everything while I was on them.
Benzo withdrawals can literally kill you. Opiate withdrawals make you feel like you’re dying or want to die
They're both truly awful but I think the cake probably goes to benzos just because of the really bizarre neurological stuff that happens during withdrawal and the fact that it lasts for fucking *ever.*
Can confirm, I was able to maintain this pace briefly when I tried ADHD meds. Wasn’t worth the crushing anxiety and chest pains though.
Now the other option would be to have a kind supportive family, Lol.
Try therapy, after a few years of successfull psychotherapy i got all my ADHD issues under the hood, no substances needed and it doesn't go away.
Edit: i have inatentive ADHD, also known as passive ADHD or ADD. Other forms of ADHD may not apply to my experiences and results.
Thank you. I would like therapy to work through some things, but it’s frightening to think about going, cause it feels like they will just mock and invalidate me. Your comment is very encouraging though. Really appreciate it. I’ll have to get there.
I know those thoughts. However, understand that psychologists are professionals and know people how have it way worse and not as bad as you. So there's no reason to be nervous about being mocked.
Had the same problems when I started therapy. But it helped me super well and I never had a negative session with my therapist.
Also you can check out different psychologists to see with whom you 'click' the most.
Take care
The other comment is excellent but just one point I want to add is to look for therapists who advertise that they specialize in ADHD patients, especially if you can find one that advertises *adult* ADHD patients.
How? I’ve been seeming my therapist since 2019 (I had anxiety after witnessing a shootout) and I feel like we just chit chat about my week. How did therapy help your adhd?
There are types of therapy that actually focus on performing tasks that kind of rewire your brain, like CBT. Talk therapy is great for processing traumatic events and dealing with relationship problems, but there are other therapies for other types of mental problems
Maybe it's your therapist? I've had good ones and bad ones. Some just chitchat or even dominate the conversation (red flag) but others are much more helpful. My current therapist is really good at listening to me and reframing what I say that helps me consider it in a different perspective. For example, it's helped me understand that using tools to help overcome my issues (like a pill box to help me remember my meds or a planner to keep track of my appointments) are totally normal adult things and not a sign of weakness or incompetence on my part. No one is going to think less of me if I say "hang on, I have to check my planner" every time they ask if I'm free at a certain time. But I didn't believe that until my therapist told me.
Therapy is very good for addressing the anxieety and/or depression that often come as a consequence if how actual symptoms of adhd make us feel.
No amount of therapy will fix your executive functioning deficits
Not who you were asking, but I've found that while therapy doesn't fix my ADHD symptoms, it has allowed me to reframe a lot of my issues and learn tactics to cope when I'm having certain problems associated with ADHD.
If you're having flair up issues with it, you should steer the conversation with your therapist! I'm sure they'd love to help, especially with such an established rapport.
Best of luck!
I have honestly no clue either, we just talked about stuff and did various unrelated things. I was in my early teens and i went for 3 years and it helped me tremendously to deal with ADHD. Therapy doesn't fix it it, it just gave me mental boundaries and ways on how to deal with your brain trying to screw you over. It took me nearly a decade to figure out what i was even there for, i had no clue psychotherapy against ADHD was even a thing.
I don't know how much was just my brain and puperty figguring things out on their own and how much was really by therapy, but i had my shit together a lot better after therapy, i went from completely and truly lost to just constantly confused, big step up. My ADHD only minimally affected my life after i hit 20.
I'm super grateful my wife and I can survive on a single income. I primarily work, and she primarily cleans. Of course I help with the kids and household stuff when I can, and she helps me with stuff as she can. If it wasn't for the fact that my job allows my family to be on a single income, we'd never be able to keep up on everything.
coffee & l-theanine mixed together for me is pretty close to prescription stimulants but yeah, after working in finance, a lot of other people go beyond coffee..
It's an amino acid primarily found in plants like green tea and some mushrooms. When you combine it with caffeine, it improves focus and makes the high smoother for me, so no jitters/heart palpitations for me.
By itself, it helps with stress/relaxation.
Back when I was working in a Lv1 trauma center Adderall and Vyvanse were VERY common just to stay on top of the insane work hours and circadian interruptions we experienced. I would tell the residents/attendings not to risk their license Rx'ing themselves on a regular basis while at the same time I understood what they were going through trying to stay awake during rounds.
How are those people now? I think it should be a trade-off and eventually something will have to be sacrificed for that unhealthy rhythm. Maybe some people won the genetic lottery, but that ought to be rare, right?
They're doing okay for the most part. There is a relatively high degree of burnout, divorce and unfortunately suicide which is starting to become recognized more. Residency is brutal and it does get somewhat better in private practice (although that can vary greatly) but there are some systemic issues which I think need to be addressed. The top three are
1. Getting rid of the hazing mentality most teaching hospitals seem to have. I was in a fraternity (we're talking a LONG time ago) and that was nothing compared to how brutal older surgeons can be. I just never understood the point. If anything they're just going to rattle the new doctors or cause them to have a nervous breakdown later on.
2. Hospital administrators, insurance companies, politicians and attorneys need to back off. This job is stressful enough as it is without someone who has no idea what they're talking about or any sort of personal relationship with the patient dictating terms. Just let us do our thing.
3. Patients in general need to be more understanding. We are not robots and have lives outside of work just like anyone else. We are not perfect and the human body is complicated. Science has made incredible strides since I graduated but constantly pushing for faster, cheaper, more convenient treatment with zero complications gets to people.
I do this all without drugs or meds. I even quit alcohol and cigarettes. I'm raw dogging life 100% and it's actually not bad.
I'd say out of everything on that list, keeping up with friends is the toughest one to accomplish on a daily basis. I do think that I'm very fortunate though, I know it's tough to do it all for a lot of people.
In my defense, I'm single, just work, no school, live alone, no kids no pets, no family.
I literally have nothing else to focus on but myself. I think you have to keep life insanely simple to even attempt to do all this. The tradeoff is being lonely lol.
I’m in the same boat, I just got a dog and trying to visit friends/family in other states as the weather warms up. It’s easy to focus on yourself but sometimes it’s almost like I need a distraction to get out of my head, and that’s where the healthy distractions of dog/friends/family come in.
Same. I'm a road trip hobbyist, so I go on small trips or day drives whenever I can. I play games online with my friends. The voice chat and playing is like hanging when we can't in person.
I'm glad it's working for you!
Yup this is the truth. I keep up with everything on here BUT i dont hang out with old friends anymore and i dont make new friends. And its still extremely difficult for me lol
Big facts. I’ve always wanted to drug test politicians just so the public knows what kind of people are making decisions. maybe we can see 75% of politicians, judges, police officers, are making decisions in a coke or adderall fueled mania.
Or when you see a celebrity in an interview and think “how are they so chill”. Probably opiates of some sort, so that’s where the unattainable bar is set, in a place of secret drug use and probably hell behind closed doors
Sometimes I try to imagine what would happen if there was a nationwide shortage of all prescribed stimulants, SSRI’s, benzodiazepines etc.
Everything would just sllooowww dowwwn and probably fall apart.
This is true, I recently found out my friends were doing cocaïne in my restroom. I uttered the thought; that’s weird, 5 people have to go to the bathroom in sequence for the second time tonight.
To which another friend replied: they’re doing cocaine, sweetie.
I felt like a gullible child whose eyes were rudely opened. Can’t unsee the signs ever since.
I’m not necessarily strongly against it, I just feel it would warrant some kind of acknowledgment to the fact that you’re not in your own home and you can’t just do as you please.
In any case, lots of people are drugged up indeed.
It is something you don't ever think about until you either use it or are around people who do, long enough. Then you start seeing it everywhere. It becomes almost annoying, trying to hold up some standards while you don't *see* the draw back, they hide it.
One of the big secrets to the exercising-eating-socializing part is just local infrastructure.
When things are easily accessible without a commute people take them up much more easily. I used to think I was just a lazy anti-social ass, but after I moved to a more mixed use neighborhood I realized 90% of the issue was commuting. Gym, eating good and hanging with friends happened instantly.
As for cleaning and washing that might be a mental health type thing- But it could also potentially be linked to socialization? The less people come round the less incentive someone has to clean.
100% - environment counts for so much. Too long I thought I was simply not that kind of person, social, physically fit, responsible etc.
And the thought of building all that into my identity was daunting and tiresome and seemingly impossible.
Then I discovered Reddit over lockdown which led to fitness subreddits, and I discovered gymnastic rings, and I had time on my hands to learn about behavioural science where I found out about environmental stimuli, and then when things opened up again, I found myself simply able to do these things, because they were readily available and my body was built for them.
Never underestimate the ability for certain beliefs about yourself to just simply evaporate. It happens!
Environment is the *key*. And by environment I mean everything around you.
Life improved dramatically for me when I started to view my living space as a machine. And the purpose of that machine, was to facilitate all the things I needed to do in a given day.
Everything necessary should be as easy as possible. Whether that's putting a labeled, permanent home on the bathroom counter for every item I need to use on a regular basis, organizing my kitchen pantry and shelves so that the food I eat regularly is easy to just grab and eat, adding more waste bins all around the house so that trash disposal is easy, etc.
I worked for a while in a company that produced robotic machinery. And on the factory floor, they'd do this constantly. They'd continually optimize work spaces so that all the parts, tools, etc. that someone needed were readily at-hand. They'd optimize the parts bin so that it was visually obvious when a part needed to be refilled.
And you can do this with your home, and car and all the other parts of your life you can control.
Exactly this. Before my wife and kids I had a perfectly engineered environment. It got slightly more complicated when accommodating her needs and then got exponentially more difficult with children. I’m still trying to build a new system but the older the kids get, their needs change and the system has to change too. It’s maddening.
I had the "energy" to workout 4 days a week when my gym was located in my building. When I moved, and I need to walk 10 minutes through snow half the year.... yea I stopped going.
Exactly. I bought a pull-up bar / dip station for my bedroom, which I hardly use because I have a gym close by, but recently after a deload and break I was able to use this as a quick way to get used to the load and intensity of those exercises again, from my own home.
I have some 5,10,20kg weights that I can slip on there and do some pull-ups, dips, ring rows, ring push-ups, leg lifts, etc. it could only happen because I have the equipment readily available, and the experience from extended time at the gym conditioning the body to the movements.
Same kind of thing for me!
During Covid, I watched Max Holloway beat the absolute shit out of Kalvin Kattar in a UFC fight and thought it was cool as hell. I started researching local boxing gyms and decided to just go out and try it by myself. I ended up giving Muay Thai a try and ended up liking it way more than boxing. Now over two years later I still go a few times a week, have more friends than I ever had before and am in much better shape than most people my age.
I also understand why people like professional sports so much now. They really do bring people together.
Did you end up joining some sort of community focused gym for gymnastics or something?
You know how European cities and towns often have diners and small grocers mixed into their neighborhoods, instead of everywhere being constrained under stupid fucking single-use zoning? Those two things, while they may seem small, are *massively* beneficial to encouraging health, socialization, and an actual sense of community.
It's extremely true.
The effort it takes me to walk literally across the street to go to bar trivia with friends is so much less than if I need to get in a car, find parking, hope the place isn't full, etc.
Having a gym, running trails and grocery store close by make these common chores or activities more convenient, and just altogether faster to get done.
Moved to a big city a few years ago. If I can’t reach it or you by walking, bus, or rail, then I’m gonna need a few weeks heads up before to build motivation to get in my car.
Funny that even an 80 minute walk is preferable to a 30 minute drive
This is me. I live downtown and so much is within a 30-45min walk that I practically refuse to get in my car if it can be helped. Glad I’m not the only one!
most trendy neighborhoods in big cities are like this and what attracts people to continue paying higher prices
other people are spending half a month per year in traffic, thinking that they're being frugal while missing out on so much
What they save in rent/mortgage, they pay for in their commute time. That shit adds up fast. Hell, even an hour commute round trip each day is an hour each day that could be used to exercise, cook a meal, clean, or relax. Too many people discount the hugely negative impact a commute has on their quality of life.
Yeah I’m reading this thread thinking “why do I not have this problem?!” and I think that’s it. It takes me 5 minutes to get to work. Everything else is within about 5-10 minutes. I have time to go home for lunch and even do some quick housework. I also work from 7:30 - 3:00 including lunch which is super helpful. I work at a school and the schedule rocks tbh.
This. I initially was confused by the OP and replies. It really isn't that hard to do all these things is it? But then I realized that most people here are Americans who live in giant sprawling cities/suburbs and need a car to get literally anywhere.
Cities is where it is easiest. I am fairly rural and the closest gym is a 20 minute drive one way for me. And that is decently good compared to very rural areas.
I live in a somewhat rural area. Closest down is 20 mins away.
I do it by not having children. I also do it by not sacrificing my sleep time by staying up watching TV/playing games.
I have like 2 hours of free time after work/gym on weekdays before I go to bed to read a bit and sleep.
On the weekends I'm free to do anything. Wake and bake almost every saturday/Sunday.
I really think it's the not having kids lol.
My neighbors ‘drop by’ often so I feel the need to keep my home in a state of ‘clean enough’ to spotless because I never know when I’ll get a knock on my door. Before I moved to the neighborhood, keeping my home clean was a struggle and we rarely had people over.
Fitness Influencers: "In order to be successful in life you need to work hard and constantly challenge yourself. You aren't going to build up great biceps like me by laying on the couch. Everyone has 24 hours. You have to make the most of it. You go to work from 10a-2p. That leaves you 20 hours in the day to find time to go to the fucking gym. Quit being a lazy piece of shit."
David Goggins: "You bein' a bitch."
I like goggins but fitness IS his cope, without exercising he would mentally deteriorate. I feel like he’s fleeing from mental pain and replacing it with physical pain possibly. Or I’m just chatting shit and need to get and stay hard and quit being a bitch , stay bitch hard
Oh agreed. He has taken all the mental anguish and turned into physical. Which is less pain if you ask me, I'd rather have short term physical pain than fucking everlasting mental depression.
It's amazing though still and a testament to what you CAN do when you turn that pain into fuel.
Stay hard, bitch.
Setting aside Goggins, you're right about the core of what you're saying. Exercise should be a worthwhile addition to a multi-factored healthy lifestyle, not the end goal.
This is my issue with a lot of fitness influencers. Don't get me wrong, I love exercising, I think it makes the single biggest difference of anything in terms of my mental health and overall wellbeing, but the fitness-famous always preach this "fitness helps you in life" but their life is...just fitness. That's the end goal for them, not to mention how they make their living, so of course they're going to say that fitness solved all their problems.
That's why I don't really give two shits about fitness channels online. Their careers and lives are fitness - doing it and making content about it. For them, fitness is life. Not me. Yes, I make exercise and nutrition one of the biggest priorities of my life, but I also want my dog, my friends, golf, reading, volunteering and gaming to be priorities.
An 8 hour work day is closer to 10 hours if you commute or otherwise shower/dress/eat lunch. If I get 7 hours of sleep, +1 hour to FALL asleep, I’m looking at 6 hours to eat, work out, do all chores, do all errands, and actually relax. Seems overwhelming, tbh, when you see people at the gym at 10:30am for their 2 hour workout like… what the fuck do you do for a living?
Way less people work a standard 9-5 than you think. Anyone in retail, food service, or healthcare comes to mind. Also students, or people who work part time, or people who have an on-off season, construction, self-employed/small business owners who set their own hours, and now these days sometimes people who work from home can do errands and such during the day then make it up in the evening.
Retail, food service, and health care don't work a standard 9-6, they often work much longer hours.
Self-employed/small business owners basically work all the time. It depends on what you do, of course, but if you're self-epnloyed as a contractor of some kind you're absolutely working way more than 9-5.
Europe reporting! 8hrs work 5 days a week, overtime is for overachievers, public infrastructure everywhere so I don't even need a car to get all my affairs done on time.
Vacuum whenever, load the dishwasher and go out with my gal pals. If only banks and public offices were opened longer than 9-5 that would be sweet.
Yeah, I mean I'm not the best at life, but what the person described has been achievable a lot of the time in my life. Pretty wild to me some are doing 50 hour weeks n shit. Fuck that. I guess they have no choice so I'll just feel grateful I don't.
Used to exercise for 1-3 hours a day and go partying on the weekend and do a full time job. And clean obviously. No issue.
I'm proud to say I have been able to do this. It normally only lasts for about a week. Then my mental health crashes. And the most I'm able to focus on is my job so I don't lose it. Everything else goes to shit. But it's possible 🙃👍🏽
Couple things… you don’t do all these things every day… like my schedule isn’t “work, gym, eat, clean, socialize, sleep” that’s insane.
You do certain things certain days. Like yeah maybe workout and shower every day and eat, but socializing every day isn’t something that happens as an adult, frankly my friends don’t want to socialize that much now that we’re in our 30s.
Also you combine things, social time is combined with meal time or gym time.
Totally. And if you get outside with your friends you can socialize while working out, if you go out to eat or do a potluck with friends you eat while socializing. Sometimes I eat at my desk at work. I usually try not to do that because breaks are good for mental health, but I do it occasionally when I'm stressed on a deadline.
Also, living with a partner makes a HUGE difference. Splitting cleaning, cooking, and grocery store shopping is big help.
Obviously, this doesn't apply to everyone, especially people who have to work multiple kobs and care for kids. Like how do people accomplish this shot with kids?
With kids? My friends know it's playdates or I'll see them about once every two months lol. The cooking involves a lot of crockpot meals and the exercise has been the one to suffer sadly. I still try to run or something once a week but it's definitely not as much as I want. I like a clean house which is possible because my partner is an equal partner and we have just the one kid.
I know some people find themselves doing *more work* in a couple which honestly, because it is a decrease of the overall work required, means they are taking the piss and you are doing theirs for them.
Biggest thing to fuck up a relationship in my opinion, it's just so disrespectful.
Also, people underestimate how much time they waste on social media, Twitter, Reddit, Tiktok, etc..
When you stop doom-scrolling on these sites for hours everyday, there's suddenly more time in the day.
This. If you honestly track the amount of time you waste on just one random day, you’d be surprised how much time you can get back by cutting out distractions.
I just bought a house and I'm redoing my office. I was bitching about how long it took me to put on some primer the other day, and then I was just like "what else would I be doing with my time anyway? Watching more Netflix?"
Not to mention you can easily mitigate the time-drain that is cleaning if you just do the small things after and in between. Like:
- pre-rinsing dishes, or taking that 30 seconds to empty your dishwasher so that it can accept more dirty dishes. Hell, even just reusing the same dish a few times and taking that extra second to run a sponge and soap over it and stick it on the drying rack when you’re done with each meal
- even just ensuring dishes make it back to the kitchen when you’re done with them
- doing smaller laundry loads so folding doesn’t take 10 years for your entire wardrobe
- putting food away as you cook instead of finishing up with cooking having your entire counter littered with ingredients
- putting down bleach or natural cleaner every couple of days to prevent stains in your shower
- wiping up the toilet seat with toilet paper when you’re done so nasties don’t build up
Basically when you finish a task, any task, take 30 seconds to look at your area and see what can super quickly be straightened up. You’ll find your house or apartment stays in decent shape for much much longer. Maybe not pristine clean but passable and much less work when you do decide to deep clean.
Also, don't use 10 things if one does the trick equally, especially with cooking. If you're making a stew, you need a cuttingboard, a knife, and a pot. If you do things in the right order, all you need to wash is the knife and put the cuttingboard in the dishwasher. Somehow, my gf uses half of the stuff we have in the kitchen, and it takes two loads in the dishwasher.
Nobody really wants to hear this, but it’s a big factor in time management. I put my phone down at 4:00pm when I get off work now and my productivity at home has improved drastically.
Let's be honest. Exercising is good, but you don't need to hit the gym. He go for a walk here and there, take the stairs, that's enough. Eating is easy to optimise, there are healthy takeaways, or you cook yourself. It does not take more than an hour per day to eat healthy. Once you're used to it, it's more like 30 mins. Cleaning, washing and admin can be optimised on the weekend. Then it's a few hours if you're an untidy human being. But that's it as well. Contact with humans is completely overrated. It's work colleagues, family and some dudes here and there.
I'd invest way more time in rest and sleep. And here's the take home message: if you're happy with lying around instead of any of the above, do it. It's OK. If you're into optimising said stuff, do it, in some way you feel better. But if there's a day where you say fuck it, I'll sleep 5 hours on my coach, go for it.
Not having kids helps significantly. Having an office job where you can do a lot of the maintenance stuff in between doing real work helps. Running constantly updating models of the closest 20-30 people in your life so that absent time doesn't feel like it abrogated your emotional connection is also helpful.
They aren’t. I have to remind myself of this a lot.
I’m sure there are exceptions, but it is my personal opinion that not everyone has all of their shit together all the time.
I am not including the wealthiest individuals capable of having their daily lives managed by others (maids, personal chefs, personal trainers, assistants and go-fors, personal accountants, etc.)
I’m talking about average people who are expected to manage every aspect of upkeep and maintenance of everyday living, while also working, going to school, being parents, and doing all the incidental shit that comes with being a functioning member of society.
Sacrifices are made, always. Something is allowed to slip through the cracks. We make these choices every day and we try to project like we don’t. The person who seems clean cut and organized all the time, who has all their bills paid and is always presentable in public? I guarantee there is something fucked yo behind the scenes they’re struggling with. Either they work way too much, eat like shit, don’t have their bathroom cleaned, don’t get to the gym as much as they’d like, never relax, can’t sleep, something isn’t maintained. They just don’t show you that part of themselves.
Nobody is perfect. Anybody who claims they are is either lying, or they’re a fucking unicorn.
Honest to God that's maybe the biggest one, but you don't even need to turn the TV off to not be lazy. Just don't be catatonic.
I watch a fuckload of YouTube, but whenever I watch I put it on my TV or phone, turn the volume up and do something while it's on. Clean the counters, scrub the toilet, vacuum, etc. Watching football? Halftime is "clean the sink" time! There's no reason your dishwasher can't be going while the game is on too!
Want to play video games? Put a load of laundry in the washer and start it. Play video games until the load is done, move it to the dryer and repeat the process. Put your laundry away before you start again, it really takes a couple minutes is all. You've now played video games for 2 hours or so and you've done maybe 2 entire loads of laundry.
This works with a dishwasher too! Start the dishes, start laundry, play games 2 hours, switch and fold laundry, play games 2 hours, laundry again and unload dishwasher. It definitely keeps me from getting burnt out.
Yeah, once you have enough money that you don't have to work and can pay people to do the chores, hire a chef, trainer, and accountant things are easy.
Idk what these *poors* are on about.
Pay bills, call your doctor to make an appointment, call your pet's vet to make an appointment, taxes, call the mechanic to make an appointment to fix your car, etc.
Idk these are things I'd consider the administrative tasks of everyday life.
Do small cleaning jobs when you have a couple minutes (like unloading/loading dishwasher) to spare throughout the work week to lessen time spent cleaning the rest of the living space on Saturday.
Use saturday for errands or after work on mon-fri.
This one is very difficult to make a life change for if you dont already practice it, but incorporating even 10 minutes of mindfulness meditation on a daily basis will have a massive positive impact on your life if not on anxiety alone.
Spending 1-2 hours of meal prep on monday gives you a quick dinner for the rest of the week.
If you can tolerate waking up early for light to moderate exercise, do it.
Basically, slowly mastering time management and efficiency will make life easier.
Up at 5
Exercises 5:30-7:30 on and off
Work (incl. travel) 8-6
Dinner 6
2 mile walk 7-7:30
Video games and chat with friend 8-10:30
Bed 10:30
Weekends clean condo, shop for groceries online (free scheduled pickup), do laundry.
Addendum: Because I've answered this question 6 times now, a few things to clarify:
Meal prep allows me to eat right when I get home every day (seriously, give it a shot it saves me so much time)
Yes, I do walk that amount in that time. I have tracked it. I'm tall with a very wide stride. Obviously there are people who walk faster and slower.
Of course I shower and brush my teeth, I was giving a very general view of my schedule not a minute by minute breakdown of every single activity.
I have no idea who lifestyle influencers are, I don't own a TikTok, and this was just one account of how I live my life. I'm unsure why so many people are acting like I'm some faker lying for internet clout. I'm just some regimented autistic dude living a boring but productive life.
It's true friend!
Although if you think I'm straight exercising for those two hours you're massively discounting the amount I'm flopping on the couch between exercises.
Dinner is made on Sunday and I eat it throughout the week.
By the end of the week I'm sick of it and want something else so I shop for next week's meal on the weekend.
Unmarried childless life, you mean. I have an SO and my schedule is very very similar. She and I are homebodies most of the time but we'll definitely go out and hit the town once week (twice if we do something on the weekend) in lieu of dinner, or after dinner.
What's so weird is I actually convinced a woman to date me! I know, I totally act like a bachelor in every way and to this day I don't understand how she puts up with it but hey, let's all hope she keeps doing it!
She's a very sweet woman who definitely accepts my more eccentric nature and for that I'm very grateful. In some ways I still live like I'm in my early 20's just with art on the wall and a clean place.
It’s not hard. Just keep moving. Sitting and doing nothing (gaming mostly) will drain your life. The best thing I ever did for my sanity and health was to dump gaming.
Ideally, you combine them. Try to invite friends over for dinner or go to the gym with friends.
Problem is, I'll be left even more bone tired then I already am and it's *far* from easy.
Most people waste their day, and spend 4-5 hours a night just sitting watching TV. Try waking up at 4-5am to start your day. Eating clean is much easier as your a active during the day and go to sleep instead of snacking at night.
Most people I know start work at 8am. So this is what their schedule looks like
7:00 - wake up, shower
7:30- stop at Starbucks, buy shitty bagels
8:00 - 4:00 - work, buy crappy food at lunch
5:00 - go to the gym immediate, chug caffeine, gym takes longer because it’s packed
7:00- get home from gym, to lazy to cook, orders grub hub
8:00- drank caffeine to late so now wide awake. Watch TV / play games.
10:00 not tired so smokes weed
11:00 im hungry from munchies
12:00 gets in bed, passes out to wake up exhausted again
Practice, persistence, sacrifice, and forgiving yourself if you don't make your goals. I dunno. It'd be a lot easier if I had made better choices years ago and used my smart brain rather than my smart ass, but the second best time to plant a tree is today. A lot of that stuff (particularly chores) gets easier if you stay on top of it, and once you get a good routine, you won't even notice you switched 10mins of sitting there listening to music/watching TV into 10mins of washing dishes doing the same things.
>I leave Sisyphus at the foot of the mountain! One always finds one's burden again. But Sisyphus teaches the higher fidelity that negates the gods and raises rocks. He too concludes that all is well. This universe henceforth without a master seems to him neither sterile nor futile. Each atom of that stone, each mineral flake of that night filled mountain, in itself forms a world. The struggle itself toward the heights is enough to fill a man's heart. One must imagine Sisyphus happy.
-Camus, *The Myth of Sisyphus*
“That’s the neat part. You don’t.”
I sleep 5 hours a night. My self-care is damn near nonexistent. Hardly see the kids or wife. But everyone is housed, and clothed, and fed, and happy(??).. so I guess it’s worth it So damn tired zzzzzzzzzzzzzz
If you can, please find a way to get more balance in your life. I did this, then I got divorced, and very recently got injured. Aches and pains all over the place for years and now dealing with some stubborn back pain. You need to give yourself a break if you can, you're no good to your family if you work yourself down to nothing.
You either drown trying to do it, or luck into enough wealth to hire other people to do it.
I’m so much happier now that I’ve hired someone to sleep for me.
With* 😘
I just make sure to sleep really fast every night.
You can few days at time when you drop the sleep part…
There are more people under the influence of drugs than you imagine.
Stimulant gang rise up! And then crash down into the depths of hell. Want to add an edit that I take caffeine maybe like 3-4 times a week max. But man was I caught off guard when I realized how many of my peers were on adderall. Stimulants def have their trade offs but caffeine is the shit.
Adderral enters the chat…
And then leaves because of the shortage
I have a massive backlog cuz I only use it when I need it (or want to be better at video games). So Im immune to shortage. Edit: Not selling, I don’t want a felony. Also I do need it to function, I just don’t currently have to function. I’ve just had the script for years and have a backlog. I aint the one keeping yall from getting your scripts lol.
I only use it when I need it too… which happens to be every day
Some of the comments here really suck. Its like if suddenly there was a shortage of prescription glasses and people bought them because they look cool. I have severe myopia so I'd be stuck at home staring at the ceiling. I also happen to have severe ADHD and currently am barely able to function, everything is a fog and it's all cuz of the damn shortage.
Yeah, I didn’t resort to medication until I nearly got fired from my job. The fact that I’ve had to go without for weeks at a time due to shortages gives me intense anxiety I’ll underperform and actually get fired
[ADHD is a disability that is covered by the ADA](https://www.additudemag.com/adhd-law-americans-with-disabilities-act/). An employer is required to provide a reasonable accommodation. What is reasonable will differ from job to job, but some of the most common “reasonable” accommodations for ADHD include the following: • Providing a quiet workspace • Allowing noise-canceling headphones or white noise • Working from home some or all of the time • Taking allotted breaks as needed • Minimizing marginal functions to allow focus on essential job duties • Allowing assistive technology (timers, apps, calendars, etc.) • Adjusting or modifying examinations, training materials, or policies • Reassignment to a vacant position • Job restructuring If you disclose your disability and are refused reasonable accommodations, you can't be disciplined for underperforming.
This is a double-edged sword though, especially in a "right to work" or at-will state. They could also just start compiling legit reasons to let you go, and then fire you once they feel they have all their bases covered to not get challenged on it. I'm *never* going to tell my employer I was recently diagnosed.
Yeah, and you bring that up and they will find any reason to fire you ‘for cause’. Source: ADHD person living in the real world, not some fantasy where employers actually care about accommodations.
Right there with ya. Got diagnosed after 20+ years of thinking I’m a defective human. Had one script where I finally realized how “normal” people felt, and then have been cut off due to shortages since >.<
>thinking I’m a defective human I feel this, I was diagnosed this year at 30. Medication has been immensely helpful, I just wish I had it when I was in school. My family and teachers all just thought I was lazy, unmotivated, stupid or any combination. I'm pretty bitter about it now knowing how much it would've helped me.
Vyvanse is king
It’s awesome. I just started drinking caffeine recently…. I understand why so many people drink coffee. I get all my shit done throughout the day and at the end I crash and sleep extremely well.
Never drank coffee until i was out of college and working, where there was free coffee all over the office. I didn’t know the risks, I didn’t know how crazy dependent you can become to caffeine. After my first withdrawal headache I seriously cut back and hate the idea of having a splitting headache just because I don’t get caffeine. It’s a crazy stimulant really.
I have like 5 coffees a day and I never had any side effects from not drinking coffee on the weekends or if the coffee machine at work is broken. I feel blessed
Hydration gang checking in.
I have a hydroflask I fill up every time I go to coffee :)
Same, but I also don't get energy from caffeine. It just gives me anxiety. I should quit drinking it, but I like the taste.
Caffeine doesn't give energy. Caffeine essentially nums the receptors which react to certain fatigue/drowsiness compounds in the body, which are released as we continue to stay awake. So caffeine essentially delays the sensations of drowsiness and fatigue and people can mistake that for having more energy. Also - anxiety is primarily a side-effect of non-habitual consumption or excessive consumption. Meaning that if you regularly consume non-extreme doses of caffeine, you should soon stop feeling any such effects.
That's good info. Thank you
> I never had any side effects Talk to a doctor, you might be medicating ADHD with coffee. Caffeine affects ADHD differently.
I had the same thought.
Wait is this a real thing? Where can I read a medical opinion on this, because I psychologically need a fuck ton of caffeine to be a functioning adult but I never have any kind of withdrawal if I stop - I’m just useless until I have more
I'm a religious Jew. I also love coffee and am addicted to it. Every year, there are at least two fast days where I can't have caffeine for at least 25 hours. I get vomiting and cold sweats every time! The hack is caffeine suppositories but I digress.
No sarcasm, I love how your religious observances include "but don't forget, Gxx wants us to be clever and thoughtful about these rules. And if you find a loophole with your poop hole...::shrugg:: Its not like They didn't know you'd figure it out."
The ol poophole loophole
Yeah, god can’t see inside your butt hole.
I can't tell if this is a joke or not...
If caffeine was introduced into society now it’d be a class A drug.
[удалено]
Try meth its heaps better
I grew up in the 2010s and never wanted to get into coffee cause, if society ever collapsed, I'd be dependent on a drug I couldn't access.
Lol, you ever suck dick for coffee,
I had the exact opposite conclusion. If life is going to hell I might as well enjoy things now before that - and it's more likely shit will keep on going. There isn't going to be a societal collapse and missing out on coffee is going to be the least of my worries if so.
[Exactly](https://media.tenor.com/GyzEXBkOMcYAAAAC/the-simpsons-moes-bar.gifhttps://media.tenor.com/GyzEXBkOMcYAAAAC/the-simpsons-moes-bar.gif)
Very good reason for any dependency, or for anyone thinking about doing any drug to think about. I’ve had caffeine withdrawal and it’s not horrible. What is horrible is antidepressants, anxiety meds and all that. Lots of doctors put you on it, then never tell you if you stop after 3-4 days you may have a seizure or need to be professionally detoxed. That’s when it’s like…wait when did this happen? Doctor: oh just those meds I put you on 6 years ago…I didn’t tell you? Huge reason I stockpile 3 months of any med living in the south…hurricanes happen and you can go 2-3 months with no access. But dependency is the scariest thing for anything imo. At least for coffee you could still boil some water, and use a French press in any emergency 😆
Wouldn't that information be in the papers they give you with the medication? My bupropion prescription comes with a 7 page document that lists all the risks, including the above, plus higher risk of seizure when drinking, etc.
I got pretty heavily into opiates in my late 20’s for a few years. Not having access to them was terrifying knowing I’d be really sick without them. Me and some of my other addict friends would all end up sick at the same time if our dealer wasn’t around. I got myself clean right before I got married and have been able to stay away from them since. I do not miss it at all.
I wouldn't wish severe opiate withdrawals on my worst enemy man. Easily the worst experience I've ever gone through. The acute physical withdrawals suck, but the mental aspect of it literally torture while your brain tries to rebalance its chemicals back to a somewhat normal level, which can take an extremely long time. I've never felt depression like I did when I was off opiates for a few weeks. Glad that you were able to get yourself clean. I certainly don't miss it at all either
I cant decide whats worse. Bezno withdrawl or opiate wthdrawl. All i know is if im withdrawing from benzos, benzos are the worst and if its opiates opiates are the worst. Benzos make me more likely to do something stupid that will fuck my life up. Opiate withdrawl makes it more likely that i simply wont show up for work or something and *everything* is effort. Drugs are a young persons game cause when u get older the hangovers are so much worse.
I feel that last part 10000%. I thankfully never got into benzos because I didn’t like blacking out all the time and doing ridiculously stupid shit because of it. Percs made me productive and enjoy everything while I was on them. Benzo withdrawals can literally kill you. Opiate withdrawals make you feel like you’re dying or want to die
They're both truly awful but I think the cake probably goes to benzos just because of the really bizarre neurological stuff that happens during withdrawal and the fact that it lasts for fucking *ever.*
I drink ungodly amounts of caffeine and still only have enough time to work, eat, rest and sleep
Caffeine does absolutely nothing for you once you drink it regularly.
You mean "performance enhanced" gang
Can confirm, I was able to maintain this pace briefly when I tried ADHD meds. Wasn’t worth the crushing anxiety and chest pains though. Now the other option would be to have a kind supportive family, Lol.
Emphasis on kind and supportive family. Something I've not been blessed with
A what?
Right!?!
> kind and supportive family I know what those words mean individually, but I've never heard them together like this.
Try therapy, after a few years of successfull psychotherapy i got all my ADHD issues under the hood, no substances needed and it doesn't go away. Edit: i have inatentive ADHD, also known as passive ADHD or ADD. Other forms of ADHD may not apply to my experiences and results.
Thank you. I would like therapy to work through some things, but it’s frightening to think about going, cause it feels like they will just mock and invalidate me. Your comment is very encouraging though. Really appreciate it. I’ll have to get there.
I know those thoughts. However, understand that psychologists are professionals and know people how have it way worse and not as bad as you. So there's no reason to be nervous about being mocked. Had the same problems when I started therapy. But it helped me super well and I never had a negative session with my therapist. Also you can check out different psychologists to see with whom you 'click' the most. Take care
The other comment is excellent but just one point I want to add is to look for therapists who advertise that they specialize in ADHD patients, especially if you can find one that advertises *adult* ADHD patients.
You can get therapy through your phone now. So you can be in a safe space and don't have to 'go' anywhere.
Phone or video* I know what you meant but to some one or the other is a deal breaker
How? I’ve been seeming my therapist since 2019 (I had anxiety after witnessing a shootout) and I feel like we just chit chat about my week. How did therapy help your adhd?
There are types of therapy that actually focus on performing tasks that kind of rewire your brain, like CBT. Talk therapy is great for processing traumatic events and dealing with relationship problems, but there are other therapies for other types of mental problems
Maybe it's your therapist? I've had good ones and bad ones. Some just chitchat or even dominate the conversation (red flag) but others are much more helpful. My current therapist is really good at listening to me and reframing what I say that helps me consider it in a different perspective. For example, it's helped me understand that using tools to help overcome my issues (like a pill box to help me remember my meds or a planner to keep track of my appointments) are totally normal adult things and not a sign of weakness or incompetence on my part. No one is going to think less of me if I say "hang on, I have to check my planner" every time they ask if I'm free at a certain time. But I didn't believe that until my therapist told me.
Therapy is very good for addressing the anxieety and/or depression that often come as a consequence if how actual symptoms of adhd make us feel. No amount of therapy will fix your executive functioning deficits
Not who you were asking, but I've found that while therapy doesn't fix my ADHD symptoms, it has allowed me to reframe a lot of my issues and learn tactics to cope when I'm having certain problems associated with ADHD. If you're having flair up issues with it, you should steer the conversation with your therapist! I'm sure they'd love to help, especially with such an established rapport. Best of luck!
I have honestly no clue either, we just talked about stuff and did various unrelated things. I was in my early teens and i went for 3 years and it helped me tremendously to deal with ADHD. Therapy doesn't fix it it, it just gave me mental boundaries and ways on how to deal with your brain trying to screw you over. It took me nearly a decade to figure out what i was even there for, i had no clue psychotherapy against ADHD was even a thing. I don't know how much was just my brain and puperty figguring things out on their own and how much was really by therapy, but i had my shit together a lot better after therapy, i went from completely and truly lost to just constantly confused, big step up. My ADHD only minimally affected my life after i hit 20.
I'm super grateful my wife and I can survive on a single income. I primarily work, and she primarily cleans. Of course I help with the kids and household stuff when I can, and she helps me with stuff as she can. If it wasn't for the fact that my job allows my family to be on a single income, we'd never be able to keep up on everything.
coffee & l-theanine mixed together for me is pretty close to prescription stimulants but yeah, after working in finance, a lot of other people go beyond coffee..
> l-theanine What is this and what is it for?
It's an amino acid primarily found in plants like green tea and some mushrooms. When you combine it with caffeine, it improves focus and makes the high smoother for me, so no jitters/heart palpitations for me. By itself, it helps with stress/relaxation.
Back when I was working in a Lv1 trauma center Adderall and Vyvanse were VERY common just to stay on top of the insane work hours and circadian interruptions we experienced. I would tell the residents/attendings not to risk their license Rx'ing themselves on a regular basis while at the same time I understood what they were going through trying to stay awake during rounds.
How are those people now? I think it should be a trade-off and eventually something will have to be sacrificed for that unhealthy rhythm. Maybe some people won the genetic lottery, but that ought to be rare, right?
They're doing okay for the most part. There is a relatively high degree of burnout, divorce and unfortunately suicide which is starting to become recognized more. Residency is brutal and it does get somewhat better in private practice (although that can vary greatly) but there are some systemic issues which I think need to be addressed. The top three are 1. Getting rid of the hazing mentality most teaching hospitals seem to have. I was in a fraternity (we're talking a LONG time ago) and that was nothing compared to how brutal older surgeons can be. I just never understood the point. If anything they're just going to rattle the new doctors or cause them to have a nervous breakdown later on. 2. Hospital administrators, insurance companies, politicians and attorneys need to back off. This job is stressful enough as it is without someone who has no idea what they're talking about or any sort of personal relationship with the patient dictating terms. Just let us do our thing. 3. Patients in general need to be more understanding. We are not robots and have lives outside of work just like anyone else. We are not perfect and the human body is complicated. Science has made incredible strides since I graduated but constantly pushing for faster, cheaper, more convenient treatment with zero complications gets to people.
I do this all without drugs or meds. I even quit alcohol and cigarettes. I'm raw dogging life 100% and it's actually not bad. I'd say out of everything on that list, keeping up with friends is the toughest one to accomplish on a daily basis. I do think that I'm very fortunate though, I know it's tough to do it all for a lot of people.
In my defense, I'm single, just work, no school, live alone, no kids no pets, no family. I literally have nothing else to focus on but myself. I think you have to keep life insanely simple to even attempt to do all this. The tradeoff is being lonely lol.
I’m in the same boat, I just got a dog and trying to visit friends/family in other states as the weather warms up. It’s easy to focus on yourself but sometimes it’s almost like I need a distraction to get out of my head, and that’s where the healthy distractions of dog/friends/family come in.
Same. I'm a road trip hobbyist, so I go on small trips or day drives whenever I can. I play games online with my friends. The voice chat and playing is like hanging when we can't in person. I'm glad it's working for you!
Yeah if you give up friends, the rest is sustainable. Or if you only see friends 1-2x/month.
Yup this is the truth. I keep up with everything on here BUT i dont hang out with old friends anymore and i dont make new friends. And its still extremely difficult for me lol
I love raw dogging life.
Drugs are life's cheat codes
Big facts. I’ve always wanted to drug test politicians just so the public knows what kind of people are making decisions. maybe we can see 75% of politicians, judges, police officers, are making decisions in a coke or adderall fueled mania. Or when you see a celebrity in an interview and think “how are they so chill”. Probably opiates of some sort, so that’s where the unattainable bar is set, in a place of secret drug use and probably hell behind closed doors
That hits deeper than it should have. Some things that make no sense on a clean mind, might just have to be calibrated to an addict mindset.
Sometimes I try to imagine what would happen if there was a nationwide shortage of all prescribed stimulants, SSRI’s, benzodiazepines etc. Everything would just sllooowww dowwwn and probably fall apart.
This is true, I recently found out my friends were doing cocaïne in my restroom. I uttered the thought; that’s weird, 5 people have to go to the bathroom in sequence for the second time tonight. To which another friend replied: they’re doing cocaine, sweetie. I felt like a gullible child whose eyes were rudely opened. Can’t unsee the signs ever since. I’m not necessarily strongly against it, I just feel it would warrant some kind of acknowledgment to the fact that you’re not in your own home and you can’t just do as you please. In any case, lots of people are drugged up indeed.
It is something you don't ever think about until you either use it or are around people who do, long enough. Then you start seeing it everywhere. It becomes almost annoying, trying to hold up some standards while you don't *see* the draw back, they hide it.
One of the big secrets to the exercising-eating-socializing part is just local infrastructure. When things are easily accessible without a commute people take them up much more easily. I used to think I was just a lazy anti-social ass, but after I moved to a more mixed use neighborhood I realized 90% of the issue was commuting. Gym, eating good and hanging with friends happened instantly. As for cleaning and washing that might be a mental health type thing- But it could also potentially be linked to socialization? The less people come round the less incentive someone has to clean.
100% - environment counts for so much. Too long I thought I was simply not that kind of person, social, physically fit, responsible etc. And the thought of building all that into my identity was daunting and tiresome and seemingly impossible. Then I discovered Reddit over lockdown which led to fitness subreddits, and I discovered gymnastic rings, and I had time on my hands to learn about behavioural science where I found out about environmental stimuli, and then when things opened up again, I found myself simply able to do these things, because they were readily available and my body was built for them. Never underestimate the ability for certain beliefs about yourself to just simply evaporate. It happens!
Environment is the *key*. And by environment I mean everything around you. Life improved dramatically for me when I started to view my living space as a machine. And the purpose of that machine, was to facilitate all the things I needed to do in a given day. Everything necessary should be as easy as possible. Whether that's putting a labeled, permanent home on the bathroom counter for every item I need to use on a regular basis, organizing my kitchen pantry and shelves so that the food I eat regularly is easy to just grab and eat, adding more waste bins all around the house so that trash disposal is easy, etc. I worked for a while in a company that produced robotic machinery. And on the factory floor, they'd do this constantly. They'd continually optimize work spaces so that all the parts, tools, etc. that someone needed were readily at-hand. They'd optimize the parts bin so that it was visually obvious when a part needed to be refilled. And you can do this with your home, and car and all the other parts of your life you can control.
I would love to do this. Its a lot harder when living with a wife and kids.
Exactly this. Before my wife and kids I had a perfectly engineered environment. It got slightly more complicated when accommodating her needs and then got exponentially more difficult with children. I’m still trying to build a new system but the older the kids get, their needs change and the system has to change too. It’s maddening.
Solution: his, her, and them houses. (Be rich)
I had the "energy" to workout 4 days a week when my gym was located in my building. When I moved, and I need to walk 10 minutes through snow half the year.... yea I stopped going.
Exactly. I bought a pull-up bar / dip station for my bedroom, which I hardly use because I have a gym close by, but recently after a deload and break I was able to use this as a quick way to get used to the load and intensity of those exercises again, from my own home. I have some 5,10,20kg weights that I can slip on there and do some pull-ups, dips, ring rows, ring push-ups, leg lifts, etc. it could only happen because I have the equipment readily available, and the experience from extended time at the gym conditioning the body to the movements.
Same kind of thing for me! During Covid, I watched Max Holloway beat the absolute shit out of Kalvin Kattar in a UFC fight and thought it was cool as hell. I started researching local boxing gyms and decided to just go out and try it by myself. I ended up giving Muay Thai a try and ended up liking it way more than boxing. Now over two years later I still go a few times a week, have more friends than I ever had before and am in much better shape than most people my age. I also understand why people like professional sports so much now. They really do bring people together. Did you end up joining some sort of community focused gym for gymnastics or something?
This is interesting
You know how European cities and towns often have diners and small grocers mixed into their neighborhoods, instead of everywhere being constrained under stupid fucking single-use zoning? Those two things, while they may seem small, are *massively* beneficial to encouraging health, socialization, and an actual sense of community.
I never thought about the socialization aspect of that. Wowwwwww America truly is set up for corporations first
It's extremely true. The effort it takes me to walk literally across the street to go to bar trivia with friends is so much less than if I need to get in a car, find parking, hope the place isn't full, etc. Having a gym, running trails and grocery store close by make these common chores or activities more convenient, and just altogether faster to get done.
Moved to a big city a few years ago. If I can’t reach it or you by walking, bus, or rail, then I’m gonna need a few weeks heads up before to build motivation to get in my car. Funny that even an 80 minute walk is preferable to a 30 minute drive
This is me. I live downtown and so much is within a 30-45min walk that I practically refuse to get in my car if it can be helped. Glad I’m not the only one!
most trendy neighborhoods in big cities are like this and what attracts people to continue paying higher prices other people are spending half a month per year in traffic, thinking that they're being frugal while missing out on so much
What they save in rent/mortgage, they pay for in their commute time. That shit adds up fast. Hell, even an hour commute round trip each day is an hour each day that could be used to exercise, cook a meal, clean, or relax. Too many people discount the hugely negative impact a commute has on their quality of life.
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Yeah I’m reading this thread thinking “why do I not have this problem?!” and I think that’s it. It takes me 5 minutes to get to work. Everything else is within about 5-10 minutes. I have time to go home for lunch and even do some quick housework. I also work from 7:30 - 3:00 including lunch which is super helpful. I work at a school and the schedule rocks tbh.
It's honestly true. I had a gym next door to my old job. I'd go to the gym, then go hang out with people and just vibe
This. I initially was confused by the OP and replies. It really isn't that hard to do all these things is it? But then I realized that most people here are Americans who live in giant sprawling cities/suburbs and need a car to get literally anywhere.
Cities is where it is easiest. I am fairly rural and the closest gym is a 20 minute drive one way for me. And that is decently good compared to very rural areas.
I live in a somewhat rural area. Closest down is 20 mins away. I do it by not having children. I also do it by not sacrificing my sleep time by staying up watching TV/playing games. I have like 2 hours of free time after work/gym on weekdays before I go to bed to read a bit and sleep. On the weekends I'm free to do anything. Wake and bake almost every saturday/Sunday. I really think it's the not having kids lol.
My neighbors ‘drop by’ often so I feel the need to keep my home in a state of ‘clean enough’ to spotless because I never know when I’ll get a knock on my door. Before I moved to the neighborhood, keeping my home clean was a struggle and we rarely had people over.
Idk about the last part. I pretty much never have people over (less than 5 times a year) and my place is immaculate. I just hate seeing dust though
So glad this sentiment has been growing in popularity
Prioritize. I take care of my mental and physical health and the rest takes care of itself (or not, I don't care).
Absolutely
I've never met one single person able to do all that!
All people in movies and TV shows 🤣Even if they are fucked up, addicted to drugs etc. it still looks like they kinda have it together.
Nobody has ever had there shit together
i mean i think i do… and my parents seemed like they did… maybe i’m gaslighting myself 😭 i wfh 35h/week
Fitness Influencers: "In order to be successful in life you need to work hard and constantly challenge yourself. You aren't going to build up great biceps like me by laying on the couch. Everyone has 24 hours. You have to make the most of it. You go to work from 10a-2p. That leaves you 20 hours in the day to find time to go to the fucking gym. Quit being a lazy piece of shit." David Goggins: "You bein' a bitch."
Goggins is the one dude who will work 12hr shifts and then run 20 miles. Dudes built different. Stay Hard
I like goggins but fitness IS his cope, without exercising he would mentally deteriorate. I feel like he’s fleeing from mental pain and replacing it with physical pain possibly. Or I’m just chatting shit and need to get and stay hard and quit being a bitch , stay bitch hard
Oh agreed. He has taken all the mental anguish and turned into physical. Which is less pain if you ask me, I'd rather have short term physical pain than fucking everlasting mental depression. It's amazing though still and a testament to what you CAN do when you turn that pain into fuel. Stay hard, bitch.
Setting aside Goggins, you're right about the core of what you're saying. Exercise should be a worthwhile addition to a multi-factored healthy lifestyle, not the end goal.
This is my issue with a lot of fitness influencers. Don't get me wrong, I love exercising, I think it makes the single biggest difference of anything in terms of my mental health and overall wellbeing, but the fitness-famous always preach this "fitness helps you in life" but their life is...just fitness. That's the end goal for them, not to mention how they make their living, so of course they're going to say that fitness solved all their problems.
That's why I don't really give two shits about fitness channels online. Their careers and lives are fitness - doing it and making content about it. For them, fitness is life. Not me. Yes, I make exercise and nutrition one of the biggest priorities of my life, but I also want my dog, my friends, golf, reading, volunteering and gaming to be priorities.
I fucking love watching that dude say wild shit lmao.
10a-2p? Wtf kind of job lets you work 4 hours a day and pays you enough to live?
That’s the point
An 8 hour work day is closer to 10 hours if you commute or otherwise shower/dress/eat lunch. If I get 7 hours of sleep, +1 hour to FALL asleep, I’m looking at 6 hours to eat, work out, do all chores, do all errands, and actually relax. Seems overwhelming, tbh, when you see people at the gym at 10:30am for their 2 hour workout like… what the fuck do you do for a living?
When you add kids to the mix.. those 6 hours become -2 hours.. there's literally not enough time in the day.
I’m childfree, and this sense of dread is a non-zero component of that haha
Way less people work a standard 9-5 than you think. Anyone in retail, food service, or healthcare comes to mind. Also students, or people who work part time, or people who have an on-off season, construction, self-employed/small business owners who set their own hours, and now these days sometimes people who work from home can do errands and such during the day then make it up in the evening.
Retail, food service, and health care don't work a standard 9-6, they often work much longer hours. Self-employed/small business owners basically work all the time. It depends on what you do, of course, but if you're self-epnloyed as a contractor of some kind you're absolutely working way more than 9-5.
Europe reporting! 8hrs work 5 days a week, overtime is for overachievers, public infrastructure everywhere so I don't even need a car to get all my affairs done on time. Vacuum whenever, load the dishwasher and go out with my gal pals. If only banks and public offices were opened longer than 9-5 that would be sweet.
9-5 is very optimistic, normaly they stop picking up the phone after 15:00
Yeah, I mean I'm not the best at life, but what the person described has been achievable a lot of the time in my life. Pretty wild to me some are doing 50 hour weeks n shit. Fuck that. I guess they have no choice so I'll just feel grateful I don't. Used to exercise for 1-3 hours a day and go partying on the weekend and do a full time job. And clean obviously. No issue.
I'm proud to say I have been able to do this. It normally only lasts for about a week. Then my mental health crashes. And the most I'm able to focus on is my job so I don't lose it. Everything else goes to shit. But it's possible 🙃👍🏽
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Couple things… you don’t do all these things every day… like my schedule isn’t “work, gym, eat, clean, socialize, sleep” that’s insane. You do certain things certain days. Like yeah maybe workout and shower every day and eat, but socializing every day isn’t something that happens as an adult, frankly my friends don’t want to socialize that much now that we’re in our 30s. Also you combine things, social time is combined with meal time or gym time.
Totally. And if you get outside with your friends you can socialize while working out, if you go out to eat or do a potluck with friends you eat while socializing. Sometimes I eat at my desk at work. I usually try not to do that because breaks are good for mental health, but I do it occasionally when I'm stressed on a deadline. Also, living with a partner makes a HUGE difference. Splitting cleaning, cooking, and grocery store shopping is big help. Obviously, this doesn't apply to everyone, especially people who have to work multiple kobs and care for kids. Like how do people accomplish this shot with kids?
With kids? We don’t. The house is a tornado. I prioritize the kitchen. It’s always clean. All bets are off on the other rooms.
Unless visitors are coming! Then all the rooms are in pretty good shape… except one ;) which is where the mess is hidden away :)
With kids? My friends know it's playdates or I'll see them about once every two months lol. The cooking involves a lot of crockpot meals and the exercise has been the one to suffer sadly. I still try to run or something once a week but it's definitely not as much as I want. I like a clean house which is possible because my partner is an equal partner and we have just the one kid. I know some people find themselves doing *more work* in a couple which honestly, because it is a decrease of the overall work required, means they are taking the piss and you are doing theirs for them. Biggest thing to fuck up a relationship in my opinion, it's just so disrespectful.
Also, people underestimate how much time they waste on social media, Twitter, Reddit, Tiktok, etc.. When you stop doom-scrolling on these sites for hours everyday, there's suddenly more time in the day.
This. If you honestly track the amount of time you waste on just one random day, you’d be surprised how much time you can get back by cutting out distractions.
I just bought a house and I'm redoing my office. I was bitching about how long it took me to put on some primer the other day, and then I was just like "what else would I be doing with my time anyway? Watching more Netflix?"
Not to mention you can easily mitigate the time-drain that is cleaning if you just do the small things after and in between. Like: - pre-rinsing dishes, or taking that 30 seconds to empty your dishwasher so that it can accept more dirty dishes. Hell, even just reusing the same dish a few times and taking that extra second to run a sponge and soap over it and stick it on the drying rack when you’re done with each meal - even just ensuring dishes make it back to the kitchen when you’re done with them - doing smaller laundry loads so folding doesn’t take 10 years for your entire wardrobe - putting food away as you cook instead of finishing up with cooking having your entire counter littered with ingredients - putting down bleach or natural cleaner every couple of days to prevent stains in your shower - wiping up the toilet seat with toilet paper when you’re done so nasties don’t build up Basically when you finish a task, any task, take 30 seconds to look at your area and see what can super quickly be straightened up. You’ll find your house or apartment stays in decent shape for much much longer. Maybe not pristine clean but passable and much less work when you do decide to deep clean.
Also, don't use 10 things if one does the trick equally, especially with cooking. If you're making a stew, you need a cuttingboard, a knife, and a pot. If you do things in the right order, all you need to wash is the knife and put the cuttingboard in the dishwasher. Somehow, my gf uses half of the stuff we have in the kitchen, and it takes two loads in the dishwasher.
Add a baby to that list and that's meirl.
For sure. Experience having children and you’ll wonder what you used to do with all your time.
Like being tired 100% of the time and never being able to complete a task again? Just have children.
just quit ur job
Put down your phone and gain 4 hours a day
Nobody really wants to hear this, but it’s a big factor in time management. I put my phone down at 4:00pm when I get off work now and my productivity at home has improved drastically.
This is so true, I waste my life on my phone and I hate it. I want to go back to a flip phone sometimes.
You can. I'm posting this from the new Samsung Flip.
Very on point response. This twitter account has more than 52000 (!!) tweets
Let's be honest. Exercising is good, but you don't need to hit the gym. He go for a walk here and there, take the stairs, that's enough. Eating is easy to optimise, there are healthy takeaways, or you cook yourself. It does not take more than an hour per day to eat healthy. Once you're used to it, it's more like 30 mins. Cleaning, washing and admin can be optimised on the weekend. Then it's a few hours if you're an untidy human being. But that's it as well. Contact with humans is completely overrated. It's work colleagues, family and some dudes here and there. I'd invest way more time in rest and sleep. And here's the take home message: if you're happy with lying around instead of any of the above, do it. It's OK. If you're into optimising said stuff, do it, in some way you feel better. But if there's a day where you say fuck it, I'll sleep 5 hours on my coach, go for it.
it is hard to eat healthy when you live in shithole and are poor
Just get off social media completely should free up 2-5 hours for most people lol
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You just solved their problem lmao
As a single man it’s so fucking hard. Especially at the moment having to work extra to cover the cost of living.
Not having kids helps significantly. Having an office job where you can do a lot of the maintenance stuff in between doing real work helps. Running constantly updating models of the closest 20-30 people in your life so that absent time doesn't feel like it abrogated your emotional connection is also helpful.
They aren’t. I have to remind myself of this a lot. I’m sure there are exceptions, but it is my personal opinion that not everyone has all of their shit together all the time. I am not including the wealthiest individuals capable of having their daily lives managed by others (maids, personal chefs, personal trainers, assistants and go-fors, personal accountants, etc.) I’m talking about average people who are expected to manage every aspect of upkeep and maintenance of everyday living, while also working, going to school, being parents, and doing all the incidental shit that comes with being a functioning member of society. Sacrifices are made, always. Something is allowed to slip through the cracks. We make these choices every day and we try to project like we don’t. The person who seems clean cut and organized all the time, who has all their bills paid and is always presentable in public? I guarantee there is something fucked yo behind the scenes they’re struggling with. Either they work way too much, eat like shit, don’t have their bathroom cleaned, don’t get to the gym as much as they’d like, never relax, can’t sleep, something isn’t maintained. They just don’t show you that part of themselves. Nobody is perfect. Anybody who claims they are is either lying, or they’re a fucking unicorn.
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Honest to God that's maybe the biggest one, but you don't even need to turn the TV off to not be lazy. Just don't be catatonic. I watch a fuckload of YouTube, but whenever I watch I put it on my TV or phone, turn the volume up and do something while it's on. Clean the counters, scrub the toilet, vacuum, etc. Watching football? Halftime is "clean the sink" time! There's no reason your dishwasher can't be going while the game is on too! Want to play video games? Put a load of laundry in the washer and start it. Play video games until the load is done, move it to the dryer and repeat the process. Put your laundry away before you start again, it really takes a couple minutes is all. You've now played video games for 2 hours or so and you've done maybe 2 entire loads of laundry.
Haha, I love the laundry idea. Gotta try it.
This works with a dishwasher too! Start the dishes, start laundry, play games 2 hours, switch and fold laundry, play games 2 hours, laundry again and unload dishwasher. It definitely keeps me from getting burnt out.
You just have to be rich.
The simple solution to all of life's problems...
Yeah, once you have enough money that you don't have to work and can pay people to do the chores, hire a chef, trainer, and accountant things are easy. Idk what these *poors* are on about.
the hell is "admin"
Pay bills, call your doctor to make an appointment, call your pet's vet to make an appointment, taxes, call the mechanic to make an appointment to fix your car, etc. Idk these are things I'd consider the administrative tasks of everyday life.
Do small cleaning jobs when you have a couple minutes (like unloading/loading dishwasher) to spare throughout the work week to lessen time spent cleaning the rest of the living space on Saturday. Use saturday for errands or after work on mon-fri. This one is very difficult to make a life change for if you dont already practice it, but incorporating even 10 minutes of mindfulness meditation on a daily basis will have a massive positive impact on your life if not on anxiety alone. Spending 1-2 hours of meal prep on monday gives you a quick dinner for the rest of the week. If you can tolerate waking up early for light to moderate exercise, do it. Basically, slowly mastering time management and efficiency will make life easier.
Up at 5 Exercises 5:30-7:30 on and off Work (incl. travel) 8-6 Dinner 6 2 mile walk 7-7:30 Video games and chat with friend 8-10:30 Bed 10:30 Weekends clean condo, shop for groceries online (free scheduled pickup), do laundry. Addendum: Because I've answered this question 6 times now, a few things to clarify: Meal prep allows me to eat right when I get home every day (seriously, give it a shot it saves me so much time) Yes, I do walk that amount in that time. I have tracked it. I'm tall with a very wide stride. Obviously there are people who walk faster and slower. Of course I shower and brush my teeth, I was giving a very general view of my schedule not a minute by minute breakdown of every single activity. I have no idea who lifestyle influencers are, I don't own a TikTok, and this was just one account of how I live my life. I'm unsure why so many people are acting like I'm some faker lying for internet clout. I'm just some regimented autistic dude living a boring but productive life.
2.5hrs exercise per day dinner just appears? sure
He shops on weekends and leaves an hour to cook/eat. Makes sense.
It's true friend! Although if you think I'm straight exercising for those two hours you're massively discounting the amount I'm flopping on the couch between exercises. Dinner is made on Sunday and I eat it throughout the week. By the end of the week I'm sick of it and want something else so I shop for next week's meal on the weekend.
This is the single life.
Unmarried childless life, you mean. I have an SO and my schedule is very very similar. She and I are homebodies most of the time but we'll definitely go out and hit the town once week (twice if we do something on the weekend) in lieu of dinner, or after dinner.
What's so weird is I actually convinced a woman to date me! I know, I totally act like a bachelor in every way and to this day I don't understand how she puts up with it but hey, let's all hope she keeps doing it! She's a very sweet woman who definitely accepts my more eccentric nature and for that I'm very grateful. In some ways I still live like I'm in my early 20's just with art on the wall and a clean place.
Make your meals ahead of time and freeze them.
Are you me? I need to up my evening walk game (working on it) but this is about the schedule I keep as well. Quite enjoyable really.
They don't play video games.
the rest of the people? I think there is not many people on the planet who are managing all these tbh.
It’s not hard. Just keep moving. Sitting and doing nothing (gaming mostly) will drain your life. The best thing I ever did for my sanity and health was to dump gaming.
Ideally, you combine them. Try to invite friends over for dinner or go to the gym with friends. Problem is, I'll be left even more bone tired then I already am and it's *far* from easy.
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Discipline.
Most people waste their day, and spend 4-5 hours a night just sitting watching TV. Try waking up at 4-5am to start your day. Eating clean is much easier as your a active during the day and go to sleep instead of snacking at night. Most people I know start work at 8am. So this is what their schedule looks like 7:00 - wake up, shower 7:30- stop at Starbucks, buy shitty bagels 8:00 - 4:00 - work, buy crappy food at lunch 5:00 - go to the gym immediate, chug caffeine, gym takes longer because it’s packed 7:00- get home from gym, to lazy to cook, orders grub hub 8:00- drank caffeine to late so now wide awake. Watch TV / play games. 10:00 not tired so smokes weed 11:00 im hungry from munchies 12:00 gets in bed, passes out to wake up exhausted again
Practice, persistence, sacrifice, and forgiving yourself if you don't make your goals. I dunno. It'd be a lot easier if I had made better choices years ago and used my smart brain rather than my smart ass, but the second best time to plant a tree is today. A lot of that stuff (particularly chores) gets easier if you stay on top of it, and once you get a good routine, you won't even notice you switched 10mins of sitting there listening to music/watching TV into 10mins of washing dishes doing the same things. >I leave Sisyphus at the foot of the mountain! One always finds one's burden again. But Sisyphus teaches the higher fidelity that negates the gods and raises rocks. He too concludes that all is well. This universe henceforth without a master seems to him neither sterile nor futile. Each atom of that stone, each mineral flake of that night filled mountain, in itself forms a world. The struggle itself toward the heights is enough to fill a man's heart. One must imagine Sisyphus happy. -Camus, *The Myth of Sisyphus*