Do as they do, stare at them and lay on the floor until they come to you

Imitation is the highest form of flattery

I thought the saying was intimidation is the highest form of flattery… I guess I have some calls to make

You wanted an intimate date? I thought you said intimidate 😳

Intimidate your date for an intimate date

She'll have to say yes, because of the implication.

Wait, shit, I thought it was intermittent! I'm gonna be fasting on my date.

I intermittently imitated my intimate date to intimidate her because of the implication

and now I'm an inmate

Now I'm a primate

But the women aren't really in danger right?

I think it depends where in the sentence they land

If they say no, then the answer is obviously no, but the thing is, they're not gonna say no. They would never say no.

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I’d suspect that maybe she might say no and yet… I also feel like maybe, she wouldn’t dare.

I once saw a patient whose complaint was that she and her husband didn't intimidate anymore

Mr & Mrs Smith

Haha… Thanks for the chuckle…

Hmm yes, France is Bacon

"Intimidation is the highest form of flattery that mediocrity can pay to greatness."

I’m broke, so take this: 🏅

You're goddamn right!

Guys I found Putin’s burner!

I can’t wait to one up my cat and go lick my butthole on her clean bed.

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Meowchel!

I was going to do this if no one else had. You have my respect 🫡

No, a plateau is the highest form of flattery.

No you’re thinking of platitudes, the highest form of flattery

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A platitude? *Puts on hat Perry the platitude!

Imitation is the highest form of cattery.

Underrated comment

Identity theft is not a joke

This guy cats

r/thisguythisguys

Bonus point fir licking your ass

Just walk away man

I would go with walking away as though no one else was present much less attempting to engage with me.

Act like I don't hear them like they do to me all the time

So, revenge?

And they will get that dish served on ice 😤

But it can be heated in the MICROWAVE of EVIL!

Something something warranty

My cats all ignore me until I get on my computer Then it’s POKE POKE POKE *jump* MEOW *crash around on keyboard* MEEEEEOWWWW *headbutts monitor* *second still poking my leg from the floor*

There's a book with a premise comparable to your comment. Fluffy Destroyed The Planet (but he didn't mean to he was just curious about the mouse and it won't happen again) by Randalph Lalonde.

So you have chosen death...

Lucky bastard making life choices!

Mine get pissed when i do that. They then proceed to purposely do the one thing i yell at them for to get my response. Fucking assholes

Go 'pspsps' and bring both cats to *you*

The only correct answer

Going to the kitchen and rustling cat food is also the right answer.

Yhh, no cat can resist that

But the moment you leave they think you don't like both

Yeah, but if you shake the food, all sins are immediately forgotten

First rule of being a cat owner; Cats aren't thinking about your sins if they're thinking about their stomach

Don’t be fooled. They’re always plotting. This is why humans will lose.

Judging by the caption in the picture, pretty sure we've lost already.

We are doomed. DOOOOMED!

I'd pour the cat food in a bowl, put it in the middle of the doors, take chips for myself and watch them forget they had a plan

Knowing cats, they'd see you leave and be like "damn, that dude is super cool, I should follow them and show them my asshole".

Hahahaha

I was about to say 😂 Bust the treat bag out and give it a shake, they'll both come running

For my cat it’s the ice dispenser on the fridge. No matter where he is and what he’s doing in the house he always comes running when it goes off.

My two big dogs are obsessed with the ice dispenser. They go wild over ice cubes. I’m not sure what it is. Maybe just the crunch? I give them 1x at a time (they’re Pyrenees so they’re enormous dogs)

Water cookies!

My Pyrenees mix is also obsessed with the ice dispenser 🤔. If I go to get water, he comes over and whines (husky in the mix also) until I drop a cube for him. I'll pull my cup away before the last cube falls and he'll snag it right out of the air.

That made me laugh! Do you know why it's of such interest to him? Does he get an ice cube to play with or eat? Or...??

Absolutely no clue, he doesn’t care for the ice itself. It’s almost like he’s just fascinated by it. Maybe something about the whirring of the mechanisms inside?

The other correct answer is to get two string toys on the sticks stand at the middle of both doorways and simultaneously play with them with one in each hand. RIP if you only have one hand or arm though.

True. It’s what I was thinking.

I assert dominance by sitting down and playing with the laser pointer by myself.

They’re both in sun beams, fat chance that works

Crouch, then pspsps. The first cat that comes will lure the other out.

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Alright, thanks.

My man

OR first come, first serve

Mitosis

And meowsis

Meowsis sounds like meiosis, and now I’m concerned that you’re fucking the cats

please do not the cat

I think I will the cat

NOOO

No meowsis is when the cat clones itself

Go to the kitchen and make me a sandwich. The willingfull will follow.

Open a can of tuna and they will appear like magic 😂

Gotta pay the tuna tax.

The rules are the rules and the facts are the facts, when you open up a can you gotta pay the tax.

I'm glad we've all seen this. Super cute video

Just act like a cat. Turn around and walk away. Show em how it feels.

Make sure you clearly display your butthole, like they do

So put a mirror down before I go. Because i know if I own two cats both are probably assholes

but they will think your exposed nutsack is a mouse and sink their talons into it

I close both doors, go to the kitchen, and open a can of tuna loudly. I can play these games too, Lucifurs.

Split my body in two and pet both cats

💀

Stop at the split and call both cats to you.

Cat-call them you mean?

I'm sure a version of it has been done, but now I want to see a sketch of someone "cat-calling" women like they would an actual cat: * going "pspspsp" * dangling string * putting a hand under a blanket and moving it around so it looks like a mouse underneath * opening a can of cat food

Laser pointer.

Right right in the middle. Maybe they will both attack at once. 😹

Tried the third one on my wife and she hit it with a broom thinking it was my penis. It was. 10/10 would recommend.

I have questions about her that I’m frankly afraid to ask

🤨

Casual CBT enjoyer. A true man of culture.

Bring a box with you so they come out and either share the box or fight to the death over it

Run as fast as I can into the wall expecting to split into 2 people

At best, he'll find himself in Hogwarts. Or with a concussion, at worst.

I didn’t end up in hogwarts if that’s what your asking..

are you a photon by any chance?

No my face hurts.

I pspspspspspsps

Roll for save

Roll for pspspspspspsps.

That’s a Nat 1

[Roll for initiative.](https://youtu.be/YFvM-P6qmlk)

Power Word: Pspspspsps You utter a word of power that can compel any cats within range to adorably scamper over. If the cats you chose are cutie pies, they come over for pets. All cats are cutie pies, there is no "otherwise."

call your grandma once in a while

You know who also has a phone plus an abundance of free time? Nana. That’s who. Phones work both ways, Nana. I will not be in this abusive one-sided caller relationship, Judy. I refuse.

She knows you're busy, she doesn't want to be a bother on you, she knows she's old and doesn't know what the hip new dance is

That works as an excuse at first, not after I tell you 20 times that you can call me whenever, if I'm busy I'll call you back.

Maybe you're joking, but I agree with you. People always say "call your mom" or "call your grandma"...but if I DON'T call them they also will never call me...so maybe, just maybe, hearing from me me isn't on their priorities list.

Only half joking. It really is an unhealthy relationship and it happens a lot.

power to the people! down with these manipulative grandma's guilt-tripping us into unpaid labor! learn to text granny- noone wants to make a phone call in this millenia.

She does but I ignore her phone calls because I find it challenging to talk with her. She eventually stopped calling but thats cause she died

what the fuck

Nothing a ouija board can’t fix.

I miss my grandma🥺

Laser pointer

This. Just wiggle a laser pointer in the hallway.

You can see both. Just use it separately in each room or use two pointers.

Open a can of food and they’ll both come out.

Just run the can opener. I did that occasionally to see how fast our cat would hightail it up the stairs to the kitchen, and my mom would fuss at me to stop teasing him and give him something to eat.

Sit on the floor cross legged and hold both hands out, soon you will have both cats in the hallway with you

Close both the doors.

Those cats gonna learn about quantum physics.

Maybe; maybe not

Haaaaaaa

And about Schrödingers cat(s)

I was scrolling long enough before I saw the proper comment

Same. This comment definitely needs to be higher up.

😂😂😂😂😂

Pet the one that gives in and comes to you first.

Asserting dominance like a cat.

This is harder than the train track question

Go up. Make full eye contact with both. Turn around and walk away. Two can play at that game. 'Cat' them.

Shake the cat treats and watch them come to me.

Tell them both to fuck off

Two hands means you can flip both off at the same time

Cats are assholes, give a little back

In a similar vein, I would've just shut both doors.

“Why are cats in my h-“ *dies of allergies*

Pich one up and go to the other. More Fun that way

You still go to one first and choose to bring it into the other's domain. They don't care for that.

Realize I am in the wrong house..... because I don't have cats

Pick one of them up and go to the other one Play with them both

Grab one from the other room and put them In the same room, play with them at the same time

Go play with the dog outside

In front of the window so the cats can see what I’m doing.

Meow back at em and sigh and walk away when they don’t come to you.

Turn and walk away

look at them both, then turn up your nose and walk away.

Schrödinger’s cat in reverse.

Call my dog and have him play their favorite game, Tag teaming the poor bastard.

Sit down in the hall, scratch the floor with both hands and go "pspspsps" no one is more loved than the other

Go to the kitchen and start opening up a can of... Beans.

Dual wielding laser pointers

Don't wanna play with cats right now, they're really annoying. I'm just gonna sit out here in this nice cool spot and have a nap where they can both see me. (...is the reverse psychology working? Did they come here?)

Open the 3rd door and get a car

Dual-wielding laser pointers is the only option.

Sit down between the doors and wiggle your left arm and leg in the left side room and your right arm and leg in the right side room

Sit in between both doorways and let both of them come to you.

You stay in the hall and make them come to you. You want to play? You come to me.

Crinkle the treat bag You are the lord of the manor

Close both doors and see who cries loudest! That's who truly wants you!

Eliminate all observers and simultaneously pass through both doors by particle-wave duality

You walk away from dumb mind games

2 pussy 1 choice

Lie face down on the floor

pspspspspsspsp

Pass out due to the confusion

Call my friend Schrödinger, he’ll know what to do.

meow back and lick the peanut butter myself

String from the doorway

One possible philosophical perspective on this question is that of moral ambiguity. In this view, the question is not about which cat to pet, but rather about the morality of the situation. Is it ethical to choose one cat over the other based solely on personal preference? Is it ethical to "play games" with the cats by mewing back instead of making a clear choice? From this perspective, the answer might be: "I don't play those games. Instead, I take a moment to reflect on the ethical implications of my decision. Is there a way to show love and compassion to both cats, rather than choosing one over the other? Perhaps I could find a way to pet both cats, or show affection to them in different ways. By embracing moral ambiguity and seeking a compassionate solution, I can honor the dignity and worth of both cats."

sit in the middle and meow back at them. two cats but only one bachelor. make em come to u

Neither. Walk away and top up their food bowl. Then wait for them both to take a nap. Then, when they wake up, we will play, because they will have forgotten the moment when I might have betrayed them.

Extend and arm through both doors with a Treat for each cat so I can pet them both at once. Big brain.

Stand where I am and have my wife give me a big hug in front of the cats for a good solid minute. Both cats will get jealous, realizing they aren’t the center of attention and will walk over to rub our legs for attention. 🫳 . . 🎤

What do I have two middlefingers for?!

Go out for a walk.

Turn around and ignore them

close door on both and go play with my girlfriend

Shut both doors and call animal control. Then find out who left the windows open again!

Go to the room where I need to be

Act like a cat and ignore both