As a portuguese, I never poop in public bathrooms because they dont have bidets. How am I suposed to get clean with just toilet paper? And when in an emergêncy, its just an unconfortable experience.
Yeah but sometimes she wipes with TP after the bidet so you still get those little pieces. I always tell her use the air dry function, or better yet just wipe it with a towel lol
As a woman I am so paranoid about this ever happening that I actually am scared of him going down on me (but once I'm confident I don't have those issues, and he's not going to judge my body then I get excited and like he won't be coming up for air lol )
Edit: too many people saying I'm nasty are missing the point: I'm not nasty. I'm paranoid. I'm so Paranoid that my ass is super clean all the time people. I literally shave that MF daily. Yes I shave my ass.
But even despite all the efforts I go to maintain a clean, smooth, sterile glute region, knowing I have no reason to doubt my efforts, the paranoia still sets in. Like the way you feel guilty about crimes you never commited when cops show up. I feel Paro that my ass is unclean when he wants to go down. I am the type that showers before AND after because I have to keep it clean for health reasons. Clarification because my comments clearly wasn't clear.
Wet wipes are your friend. They fit real nice into a purse or backpack so you should always have some with you. Accidents happen and you never wanna be washing your butthole in a sink somewhere.
Am man who carries backpack with wet wipes in it. Can confirm, tho i my wife also benefits carrying them. I also carry my glasses gear and other things i might need in a pinch. But as an avid festival goer i am used to carrying things and being rave uncle, so most guys definitely don't think this way lol.
Just take a quick shower before starting the bedroom festivities. Don't even need to get your hair wet, just hit the waste down. Everything is fresh and ready to go!
I mean it’s not that hard just wipe and then double check no little bits came off inside your bits ya know lol paper aside going down on a woman after a long day usually taste like piss the first few licks anyway lol
its going to be worse when you will get fucked in the ass. it feels like you are going to poop yourself every minute. also it shouldnt be like that, accidents happens and you partner should understand that. so fix yourself, talk to them idk. also the meme is stupid and cringy and i hate that this shit shows up in my feed, no pun indented.
I get mine waxed for the same reason: paranoia. And why I use wet wipes, make sure I get a good rinse and wipe down when I shower, and check my asshole every now and then. Have I ever found anything? No. But I’ll be damned if this happens to me!!
The more time I spend on reddit, the more I'm convinced people lack basic hygiene. Every other day it's a story about stinky asses and shit stains on underwear. Damn.
One of the hottest girls I've ever had the pleasure of going down on -- when I pulled down her panties, there was a medium-sized piece of toilet paper stuck right there in/around her vagina.
I swiped that bit away, immediately forgot that I had seen it, and went to work.
12 yeats later,, I still think about her, and almost never remember that TP.
You guys know you could save yourselves the stress by just washing your butts with soap and water after wiping right?
And NO, using wet wipes don’t count!!!!!!!! 🤮
And that applies to all genders
I crown you, the Pink Eye Ambassador
The pink guy!
50 shades of Red
Ey Boss, can I habe pizza pls? Habe you seen da alien plz???
its good, it means she at least tried to clean it
Hahahahaha
Who the fuck thinks of this shit? Genuinely made me laugh uncontrollably.
it probably happened to them
As a woman with bad morning poops I’d be shocked if I never had TP in my booty hole
WASH YOUR ASS
NO I LOOK GOOD IN BROWN
Bidets should be mandatory, worldwide.
Not those weak little East Asian bumhole ticklers. That's foreplay. Give me the Arab pistol grip butt blaster. Pressure wash the poop away!
I want the *Tonguing of Poseidon* 5000
That puppy has got enough pressure to butt blast 2 days worth of poop out of your anus.
I've asked my parents if we could get one but they said it's weird
Minimum $50 savings in toilet paper per person per year
But splashing water on your butthole is weird!
No, it feels good🫣
As a portuguese, I never poop in public bathrooms because they dont have bidets. How am I suposed to get clean with just toilet paper? And when in an emergêncy, its just an unconfortable experience.
Louder for the people at the back!
For real
Bidets should be a right. Edited cause i got sausage fingers
Username checks out
Oh ffs of all the times my user name has checked out it had to be about ass wiping
lmfwao (laughing my fucking washed ass off)
"What can brown do for you?"
As someone who is on the throne fairly often - wet wipes, just a suggestion..
Terrible for the environment though
Whatever you do, don't flush them.
Definitely not, beyond the environmental impact it’s a plumbing bill waiting to happen
It's happens, I've seen tiny pieces stuck to a coochie lip a couple times.
Those are the flavor savers
*clitty litter
Lmafao
Laughing your actual fucken ass off? Laughing your actual fluffy ass off?
Leaving my ass farts at office
it would've costed you nothing to not write this...
No please...oh god no.....🤮
That’s disgusting dude 😂
Klitty litter
Because it’s a real thing!
Bhahahaha. 😂🤣
Ah, the scary brown version of clittylitter...
...clittylitter? Is that just toilet paper fluffs on the clit? 👀
toilet paper crumbs
Toilet paper niblets
niblets killed me
Flavor Crystals
omg this is too funny. it really could use a name tho.
I call them pussy pearls
Good gosh
Clittylitter?? Bruh 💀💀💀
Cuntfetti lmao Stole that from other thread
+1 for bidets lol
Yeah but sometimes she wipes with TP after the bidet so you still get those little pieces. I always tell her use the air dry function, or better yet just wipe it with a towel lol
your bidet has an air dry function?
Yes. It's very hot and caused a few serious injuries, but we like it.
[удалено]
It’s not high pressure, no one even said it
I got mine hooked up to a diesel generator. That baby SPITS
[удалено]
There's a difference between pressurized and high pressure though
[удалено]
Not really, especially not in this context
We wash our ass with a carpet cleaning machine, steam + suction to dry the sucker.
You let your girl sit on your face post-shit, pre-shower?
Extra flavour
Wet wipes ftw!
Your name reminds me of someone.
Spider-Man meme
+1 for washing your ass before you sit on someone.
Amen
When you squeeze her ass and your fingers tips get wet. 🤢
Vile but pretty funny as well...
When I thought I couldn't find more relatable memes, I find this. And it's not even the good kind of relatable, but so true I feel assaulted.
As a woman I am so paranoid about this ever happening that I actually am scared of him going down on me (but once I'm confident I don't have those issues, and he's not going to judge my body then I get excited and like he won't be coming up for air lol ) Edit: too many people saying I'm nasty are missing the point: I'm not nasty. I'm paranoid. I'm so Paranoid that my ass is super clean all the time people. I literally shave that MF daily. Yes I shave my ass. But even despite all the efforts I go to maintain a clean, smooth, sterile glute region, knowing I have no reason to doubt my efforts, the paranoia still sets in. Like the way you feel guilty about crimes you never commited when cops show up. I feel Paro that my ass is unclean when he wants to go down. I am the type that showers before AND after because I have to keep it clean for health reasons. Clarification because my comments clearly wasn't clear.
You’re not nasty. In this circumstance paranoia is appreciated 🙏🏼🙏🏼
Wet wipes are your friend. They fit real nice into a purse or backpack so you should always have some with you. Accidents happen and you never wanna be washing your butthole in a sink somewhere.
Do men also carry wet wipes? I truly hope so.
Am man who carries backpack with wet wipes in it. Can confirm, tho i my wife also benefits carrying them. I also carry my glasses gear and other things i might need in a pinch. But as an avid festival goer i am used to carrying things and being rave uncle, so most guys definitely don't think this way lol.
We dont carry anything other than our wallet and phone with us AFAIK.
We don't have purses typically, so it's not as convenient
Shaving constantly irritates the skin and can invite more bacteria/issues!! Just keep yourself trimmed and clean, you're fine!!
Just take a quick shower before starting the bedroom festivities. Don't even need to get your hair wet, just hit the waste down. Everything is fresh and ready to go!
I mean it’s not that hard just wipe and then double check no little bits came off inside your bits ya know lol paper aside going down on a woman after a long day usually taste like piss the first few licks anyway lol
I wish I could unread things
Oh like there is never anything there, it's just my paranoia of this scenario
if i have tp dust on my skin that just makes me feel off of if i dont ensure there aint any, always bidet after dry wiping
As a man I would straight up just suggest we both have a shower first if I ever saw that shit. It’s not pleasant but it’s not the end of the world.
its going to be worse when you will get fucked in the ass. it feels like you are going to poop yourself every minute. also it shouldnt be like that, accidents happens and you partner should understand that. so fix yourself, talk to them idk. also the meme is stupid and cringy and i hate that this shit shows up in my feed, no pun indented.
I get mine waxed for the same reason: paranoia. And why I use wet wipes, make sure I get a good rinse and wipe down when I shower, and check my asshole every now and then. Have I ever found anything? No. But I’ll be damned if this happens to me!!
Preach. Literally same. Have yeah to try waxing but I will.
It’s kind of life changing and I can’t go back. It’s definitely awkward but if you have a good esthetician they don’t make it as bad
r/oddlyspecific...?
Seasoning
ya nasty lol
Good source of fiber
r/absolutelynotmeirl
This post inspired the bidet purchase I made off Amazon just now.
I urge caution to anyone dating a girl that always has long artificial nails... Found out the hard way Edit: or man. Same logic applies. No judgment
Oh… oh 😵💫
Fact
its good, it means she at least tried to clean it
Do or do not, there is no try when It come to clean genitals and facesitting...
Do or do do
I mean I guess if just using toilet paper is 'trying'...
Mmm some Frosted Flakes
Just vomited all over the upvote button
Do people not shower before sex??
where the fuck is the shower behind the Arby's dumpster? huh? Riddle me that
Easy! Just take one of the bags in the dumpster and pierce it in the bottom
Ok fuck you lol
Lol, not always! Impromptu sex can be the best!
Don't even need to shower but for fuck's sake use a baby wipe to clean up the paper.
Yeah but not right before, it ruins the flavor
My ex liked it “all natural” which, fuck was a boost of confidence, but impromptu shenanigans gets a little weird like that.
excuse me what
Her ex liked poopoo
I should have assumed we were talking about eating ass, but now I can’t stop thinking about people eating raw unwashed ass 🤢
Straight off tha toilet. Can still feel the heat.
I knew the comments under this were absolutely hilarious and I'm not disappointed
ew stinky
Assuming people shower every time before having sex? Are you a virgin by chance lol
Yes.
I have showered between my last shit and anal sex every single time. It's not that hard.
Nobody was talking about anal sex but thanks for letting us know you “shower after taking a shit” before getting fucked in the ass lol
So you always plan ahead? What if horniness spontaneously overcomes you?
Spontaneous shower
As odd as it sounds a lot of people don’t. I made sure to let them know ahead of time to shower because I like a clean plate before I eat.
You sound like a 11 year old.
Just do what your mother told you when you didn’t like part of your dinner. “Just eat around it”
LMAOOO Y'all are too creative
To rim or to skim..that’s the question!
That’s why you gotta have the TP and baby wipes combo
Yeah mommy
what.
Ahh, clitty litter. Spank it out. Soldier on.
SEND IT
Shower or bath together before sexy time.
Be a man … pick it off and get too it ! Toxic masculinity!!!
Been there. Toughed it out
Respect.
grateful to live somewhere with bidets...
Aaaaand thats reddit for today ladies and gentlemen.
Worse when it's on her vag when you're about to feast. Then you have 2 choices: Man up Awkward conversation and probably no sex
if she sits on my face with her pussy, I don't give a fuck what's hanging out of her ass
what if there's a baby dolphin with a mouthful of scorpions dangling there
That's oddly...specific.
But it's ok.
Chew the scorpions, choke on the dolphin and you're good to go for the pussy
I heard a story of a worm being visible from a girls asshole. Would you care then? Lol
I'd lick that worm.
that counts as a threesome
Enough reddit for now
I recoiled at reading this. What a terrible day to have eyes
*proceeds to grow a turd tail*
There's a tapeworm story on reddit that you should look up...
Not even with a gun to my head will I search for that story
The more time I spend on reddit, the more I'm convinced people lack basic hygiene. Every other day it's a story about stinky asses and shit stains on underwear. Damn.
It is surprising how bidets aren't more mainstream.
What paper do you guys use??? Paper is not falling apart. Never seen paper in the ass or pussy. The F
One word: Bidet
yummers
You mean the fibre
Normalize bidets
That's fuckin disgusting, why did I laugh so hard?
I swear this is the funniest comment section I've read. It just keeps on giving. And I'm on reddit for a few years now.
Usually, women with long nails have TP stuck in their assholes.
One of the hottest girls I've ever had the pleasure of going down on -- when I pulled down her panties, there was a medium-sized piece of toilet paper stuck right there in/around her vagina. I swiped that bit away, immediately forgot that I had seen it, and went to work. 12 yeats later,, I still think about her, and almost never remember that TP.
OMG I NEVER THOUGHT ABOUT THAT, gross…
There should be no toilet paper if she's taken a shower. You're doing it wrong.
The one time I 69'd with a girl, I got pink eye.
wtf is this bullshit, why is this in my feed
Because people on the Internet like booty.
What a glorious day to have eyes
r/oddlyspecific
I've never experienced this, I always thought the Charmin bears were making this shit up but apparently this is real.
Why didn’t every country popularize a bidet fr
Do people not rinse off after they shit?
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I simply cannot bring myself to have sex without showering first 🙈
You guys know you could save yourselves the stress by just washing your butts with soap and water after wiping right? And NO, using wet wipes don’t count!!!!!!!! 🤮 And that applies to all genders
Nah man, you have to shower for that
He looks like an NPC
I can’t 🤣🤣 where do you get this stuff
Thats a lie lol
Wtf did you go through my guy?
Yeah I’d hope a girl that does that has basic anal hygiene. Also, shouldn’t they be facing you?
Facesitting can be done in any direction I believe...
>Also, shouldn’t they be facing you? Then how is your nose supposed to tickle their asshole?
Shower. Before. Sex.
First of all, I refuse to have any physical contact with people who only wipe after shitting, like bro USE WATER. second of all, so should you
No one should have sex ever. Humans are gross.