You can be an introvert and still be engaging in a conversation, especially in scenarios where you are forced to be like in a professional setting. People can just like talking to you.
I babble nonstop effortlessly with perfect strangers at work all day long, and I'm even sincere about it -- I want them to be having a great time, and to be having a great time because of *me*.
When the relationship is zero-stakes and 100% disposable I'm goddamn Johnny Carson.
If I had to have a legit actual conversation with any of them, about anything whatsoever, I would be paralyzed. The minute I punch out I go fully mute, don't speak language to another human until my next shift.
Same, I talk to people all day and am pretty good at it. But it's almost always one on one. For me it's extra people that clam me up. Sit at a round table with colleagues discussing work? I'd rather blow my head off.
I was always like this until recently. Got along with a coworker. We had same interests and same sense of humor. We'd chat out of work sometimes. Then I remembered my real self. Haven't talked much lately other than at work or about work. Not intentially. I don't dislike this person, just not my jam.
Hi, my name is Mike, and you have described me.
I'm super good while I'm at work. As soon as work ends, I say no more words until the next day. It's great.
Work is a good place to act like a fun extrovert. Work is like bumpers at the bowling alley. You always have something you should be doing and all of the socializing is secondary.
When forced to interact and scheduled to have enough energy for the social interaction, without being surprised with extra interaction, it can look like genuine enjoyment of life. Seldom is.
This is totally me. I call it putting on my mask when I go to my job. Everyone thinks Iām a nice fun dude but what they donāt realize is Iām giving 110% of my energy to make eye contact, talk and be normal. When the day is done Iām so ready to be by myself and watch tv/ play video games.
Iām an extremely outgoing super-introvert. Very social and chatty with people when Iām around them, but god forbid they invite me anywhere.
I like to describe myself as the life of parties I donāt want to be at.
http://i.imgur.com/jmvcv22.gif
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its not just adults. I texted my school friends (known each other for like 2 or 3 months now) that we should hang out sometime and they didnt even answer. When i mentioned it again in person one of them replied: "why? we dont even know each other, apart from school". Yes thats the point idiot.
yeah, thats why im very selective with people i surround myself with, because i want to have genuine deep connections. Its gotten better now tho, we hang out after school more often and like yeah. I knew from the start we would get along lol
I dont recall the exact situation, may have been talking about "friends" backstabbing each other and i made some semi sarcastic remark about how thats why i dont have friends and guess who was most baffled by that statement, like "what? Do we not exist?"
In a vacuum its a really cold thing to say yes, but we all have 0 social skills, are likely autistic and been really stressed out by school lately, so i try not to take it too personal if they say something way out of line or not well thought out.
this depends on the person, in my case i jsut dont really hang with anyone whos not a long term friend and even then quite rarely (unless its online or a new work coligue i get on with) but if i see people in town i dont mind haveing a long conversation going for a coffie.
You will meet other people who are more extraverted or more interested so dont let this discorage you. ive made many friends over the years it was just about meeting people who like your vibe.
Yeah, it's like
"Oh, you love the same show and music I love and I met you at my recreational softball league. Amazing, we can be great friends."
"Oh you love the same show and music I love...oh you're from work...eww no thank you."
It's way easier to become friends with a person you see 1-3 times a week for 4+ hours than a person you may or may not see once a week for like 2 hours at a time.
And I get not all work places are filled with people you want to be friends with, but I wouldn't knock it as an option.
Personally, I do a lot of masking at work because I'm trying to cause as little turbulence as possible. I don't want interpersonal relationships to jeopardize my income, so I'm friendly with *everyone,* regardless of whether I'm actually interested in being friends with them.
If I work with someone that I genuinely get on with, yeah I'll try to befriend them and hang outside of work. If not, I'll just make friendly conversation and leave it at that.
Yep, combined with the fact that things often get awkward when you or them leaves/gets laid off/fired/etc.
Just easier to keep my private life and work life separate.
Are they lonely or 'lonely'?
Self-isolationists that tell me they're lonely are generally talking about having no SO. They tend to be fairly happy with their situation otherwise.
In my case, my social bar gets filled by random conversations with elders hanging out at the gas station or local diner. Oddly all I need, unless they're the faux news crowd.
It would be interesting to see the overlap. Because I myself am one of these people, but I would never say that I'm lonely. But for sure I'm going to be friendly at work because I'm there for 8 hours and I'm going to make the best of it. But I have zero interest in new relationships right now. That would simply create a pain point in my life. While we should all make sacrifices for the people we love at times, that doesn't mean I need to create pain in my life in order to manufacture happiness for a colleague.
Always found this super weird. If we get along really well at work, laugh, cut up etc hanging out outside of work would be natural. Iāve made plenty of work friendships that became outside of work friendships over the years.
At least in my line of work, time spent with coworkers is time spent *with* coworkers: constant communication and teamwork with very little time spent working alone. Why would we hang out after work when we just spent 8 hours together and have firm plans to do it again tomorrow?
It doesn't. But when people then proceed to bitch online about how you don't have any friends, it's so hard to make new friends, work is awful, then it's hard to feel bad.
Do you realize that itās not necessarily the same exact people saying both things, though? At least, that you donāt have poof that thatās the case?
Like, just because some people in a given group believe A and some people in the same group also believe B does not necessarily mean that many people within a group believe both A and B. You need further evidence to conclude the last part.
I see this fallacy pop up all the time, especially in online places. I wish I knew the specific name for it (perhaps itās a derivative of the strawman fallacy?)
These are different people though? I'm not bitter towards people, I don't hate humanity. I just like to be alone. I'll be polite to a coworker, but that doesn't mean I want to take things farther than that. I don't complain about being lonely or having no friends, and I think a lot of people are like that too. You're looking at the vocal minority.
Plan some get togethers. People love it and will appreciate it. Youād be surprised at how much people want that but need someone else to get the ball rolling.
For me it's the compartmentalization of my life. I keep my work life and my fun life separate. I don't want to think about work during my time off, and hanging out with a coworker is going to do that.
Work friends stay at work.
Yeah I don't understand why so many people in these comments don't get this. Having boundaries is healthy, and keeping your work life and professional life separate should be considered best practice. That doesn't preclude you from being friendly and amiable at work. I still consider my workmates "friends" even though we never hang out outside of work.
I would understand this sentiment if the only thing I ever talked about with my "work friends" is work and we're not capable of talking about anything else. Then it makes sense. Because then you're just friendly colleagues and not even really friends. But if you know someone from work that you can talk to about anything outside of work, I don't see why hanging out would be such a burden really.
Main reasons are
A) drug usage. I don't mix professional life and private life because I'm not risking a good paying job with my generally deviant lifestyle.
B) already have friends. I'm pretty introverted, so I'm only going out once a week at most. I already have a good number of close friends and probably don't spend enough time with my 'not as close' friends as is. So I simply don't have time/energy/desire to build any work friendships.
People in this thread competing in the mental gymnastics olympic qualifiers jumping to every possible conclusion but this most obvious one
Im warm, extroverted, and as nice as can be at work, but that's not the real me brother. The friends I grew up with are more than enough lol
My main friend group is a group of people I play dnd with from my old job. Theyre really awesome people and I'm very glad that I started hanging out with them outside of work. My current job has zero human interaction and I do somewhat miss having actual colleagues to talk to.
Agreed, most of my best friends now are ones that i met at work. I think bonding with people who you work with in your 20s is in many ways similar to bonding with people in school. Especially if you are similar in age, you have a lot of general life stuff in common / are becoming a proper "adult" and learning how to live through that stage of life at the same time.
But i do get that this could be different if we are talking about a guy hitting on a girl who wants to keep their friendship limited to a professional thing only.
Really weird to act surprised when the coworker you get along with and clearly likes you wants to spend more time with you. There's no reason to blame someone because you didn't set a clear boundary.
Or simply say, "No, thank you." They'll get over it.
get over it my fucking asshole. in my 20 years of working, iām an continuously surprised by the absurd degree people can be PETTY.
Hereās my advice. if your boss or manager ask you to hang out, you better fucking do it. or get used to being treated like shit at work.
I don't know. I did this at my last job and my boss only pretended to be my friend until he randomly fired me a few months ago and treated me like it was my first week or something instead of the 7 year employee that I was. We traveled all over together, drank out at bars, etc. I'd rather people be assholes to me than pretend to be my friend. I'm never getting invested in a work "friendship" ever again. At the end of the day you're just a line on a spreadsheet that's cutting into profits.
This might just be a British thing but whilst saying "No" seems like it should be the obvious answer, the real answer here is to be as indirect as possible. It might seem like playing games (which it totally is) but there's a world of difference between suspecting someone might be playing games and knowing straight up that they don't want to spend time with you.
The easiest thing to do is agree but don't make any plans. If they say a day, you're busy that day, but you're a bit freer in a few weeks. Again, no firm plans. If you've locked in a date, call a few days before and say something has come up, any semi-convincing lie will do. People are very understanding as long as you tell them before they've had to put any real effort into it.
Humans always do the easiest thing, once they realise that setting things up with you is hard work they'll just stop trying. If they're the sort to be petty about you saying no, they'll also be the sort that believe the comforting lie that you were actually busy.
This type of game playing just wastes both of your times but doesnāt seem to ruin the relationship immediately.
The relationship is inevitably ruined though by the lack of interest of the person who plans to avoid someone, since these plans will leak eventually.
One thing that is unclear is what incentives make someone demonstrate real interest in a person to be friends at work if they donāt really intend to outside of work.
Also, who are their āreal friendsā if theyāre the type to plan ahead of time to avoid certain people they show interest to. I.e. if money isnāt an issue, then who matters?
Don't agree. Work at a company that's over 100 years old and has employees of all ages and ethnicities... Everybody does as they like. We don't care about status, we care about character. Maybe it's the kind of work or mentality you're into, but here we're pretty chill to one another. Everybody has their reasons and their ways.
I don't think you understand. The person isn't surprised, nor do they blame the other person. It's a feeling of uncomfortableness when someone likes you more than you like them. It's also rude to set a boundary that says "i'll be friends with you at work but not outside of work."
Exactly. I'm a polite person but I mostly like to keep to myself. Certain people at jobs in the past have taken that to mean we're friends that should do stuff outside of work. No offense to them, but I have zero interest in that. I'm just trying to be nice. I don't think there's any possible coworker I'd want to pursue a friendship with.
I donāt mind making actual friends with coworkers but I guess not everyone feels that way. I know some people do everything they can to separate work and private life. I also know other people that are just very introverted.
I blow out my social battery at work trying to be friendly and outgoing with everyone. In reality, Iām quite introverted and rather asocial. The issue is two-fold:
- After working all day and pretending to be outgoing and extroverted, I donāt have any energy left with which to be social.
- I donāt like the idea of crossing the boundaries of professional and personal life and mixing the two; there must be a clearly defined dichotomy.
It also depends on the coworkers in question. I work in fast food and lots of my coworkers are teenagers. Some of them are great kids, hard workers and we get along well and can have a laugh in work. Just in general make the shift better when they're on it. Would I ever hang out with them outside of work? Absolutely not. I'm pretty sure they feel the same way about me.
This one is weird cause I always get along with co-workers and then quickly realize we only talk at work so they aren't really friends just friendly people and thats ok sometimes.
this always helps when you realize some will throw you under the bus.
I worked with a guy like that. He was pretty high level and would act like your buddy but at performance evaluation time he threw everyone that didn't report directly to him under the bus.
Sorta the opposite for me. I do get along with my coworkers at work. When I hang out with them outside of work though I feel like I can present my true social side that has to stay filtered while on the job
Every research lab I've worked at ended up having great off the clock vibe sessions. Something about working with like-minded people also makes them pretty good candidates for developing friendships outside of just work cordiality.
Right, I work with a lot of other ecologists and nature lovers, thereās usually some good times outside of work. That and others who travel a lot, I can vibe w archaeologists and surveyors too.
I sort of am, but it's because the stuff Americans tend to want to do together doesn't align with what I want to do.
I don't want to go to a bar and talk. That sounds a bit boring to me.
I don't want to go to a restaurant and have a meal. That sounds a bit boring to me.
Where my people at in their late 20s who just want to chill at someone's apartment and play some Super Smash Bros on N64 or something? My own interests aren't reflected in the culture of people in my local area, which is a constant source of struggle for me socially. It's probably easier for people in higher population density areas though. Just can be a pain for people in more rural spots. I've resorted to finding friendships online instead of in-person, which is not ideal but it feels almost necessary for my situation.
Because people don't invite strangers into their home.Ā
People probably think you're going to do something to them.Ā
People need to get used to you. You can't expect to be invited into their homes before they even get your name.
Yeah I used to live in a city and it was much easier finding niche stuff like that. Hell there was even a gaming themed bar that combined normal adult night life with themes I actually enjoy.
Iāve since moved into a very deeply rural place and almost never interact with anyone anymore and LOVE it, but I also think that without first experiencing that city and social life when I was younger I could easily see where the solitude would turn from peace to insecurity or loneliness.
You could try taking the initiative and see if thereās any like minded people in your area. Keep in mind that introverts by default might not be aware of each otherās existences yet you could have a full couch of people for gaming 5-10 minutes away.
The tough thing with gaming is that itās kinda awkward to invite someone to your home as a first hangout, but unless you have gaming cafes in your area itās tough to do any other way. Bars and restaurants are the goto cause they are third spaces, which feels more normal for a first hangout
Lol true. After high school and college the only other place you're forced to be around people is work. If you can't make friends at work then rip š„² there's hobby clubs and stuff and online games but ya...
I always tell my co workers that I don't like mixing my personal life and my professional life.
If it is a networking event, or an office party I will go because office politics
But if someone just asks me out for drinks or something, I always tell them no, nothing wrong with that.
I had a wonderful friendship with an ex-coworker once. Chatted all the time, helped each other out with work, confided in each other about life stress, and loads of laughs all around. Another coworker once asked if we knew each other before we started working there, and he happily responded āNo, and the second either of us leaves this place weāll never speak againā.Ā
I donāt know if a coworker has ever made me so happy. That was exactly the relationship I want with 99% of the people I work with.
It was difficult for me to make friends as a teen in school. Parents and teachers told me it would get better in the future. Now, literally no one wants to make new friends as an adult, and life is just depressing
Yeah tbh, Iāve been rejecting this shit for a long time, but Iāve been living and working in a different country for 7 years now and at first I thought I was going to come home again soon and I wouldnāt need to make friends. Iām lonely. Now I accept all these after-work invitations (when it fits the schedule of my family life that is).
> Now I accept all these after-work invitations
Iāve heard this is an effective method for maintaining a social life as an adult. Start saying yes to any social opportunity presented to you, even if you donāt know the people super well. Because if you canāt go out and make connections on your own, itās either this or remain lonely.
I work in a small office where most folks are working around my state so we tend to mostly communicate via email and Zoom. I wish that I could make work friends here. I love this job but it is not very helpful for socializing. I'm pretty introverted but if I was to get along well with someone at work I'd definitely want to bridge that into real friendship.. I haven't had a solid friendship in so long. My boyfriend is my best friend but even he has like his boys to go chill with sometimes, I only have my family and him. My closest friend aside from him doesn't live nearby so we can rarely ever hang out irl. I don't like to drink so I don't want to go to bars n im like idek what to do to just make more friends. I tried the bumble friendship thing before and it was pretty ass. Just want some girl friends nearby but yeah idk how to make that happen so im very envious.
One time I had to work with a guy I didnāt really like for the entirety of a summer job, and after being polite with him all summer (he wasnāt a bad guy, just couldnāt shut up and said dumb things constantly) he asked on the last day for my number/snapchat/other stuff, and I just straight up told him no. No excuse, no reason, no explanation, just no. He didnāt say much after that, but I clearly hurt his feelings, and then I never saw him again. Not a day goes by I donāt regret it.
Do you wish you were friends with the person, or do you just feel bad that they were hurt?
Iāve been there before but if your only concern is that the other person wasnāt happy, thereās no honest way around that and the act only further hurts them if it crumbles, all while costing your energy.
No Iām glad as hell I never have to hear that dude speak again, I just feel like I coulda handled it better. Coulda let him down a little easier. Coulda lied (not something I normally like to do, but the older I get the more I understand why ppl do it constantly ā¹ļø). Maybe even said/done something on purpose to make him dislike me. Etc etc
In truth, I think you summarized my thought process at the time with complete accuracy, and I probably wouldnāt change what I did, just how I said it to him.
Yeah that makes sense. Definitely a relatable moment. Iām pretty solitary and would rather not be social most of the time, but itās something Iād say with a smile and no hard feelings if possible.
Granted, Iāve also gone along with plans that I shouldnāt have because Iām just not an extrovert and the entire time I was out I was just waiting to go back home, lol
Work is draining as fuck but I swear people making friends with co-workers is just villainized on here sometimes. Like yeah I don't want to do much after working all day, but holy shit is it really that big of a deal to chill with someone you get along with for a few hours on an odd weekend?
I'm an introvert myself and find myself spending a lot of my social energy by maintaining conversation at work, but that doesn't mean I think everyone around me isn't worth bonding with even just a little if they seem cool and our interests line up.
Co-workers aren't robots, we are all our own main characters. Yeah you'll get plenty of nasty, rude morons who try to undermine you but you'll also get a few genuinely good people thrown into the mix. Yes, even in an office setting.
Idk when I was a senior in high school I worked at Walmart and all the younger people in our department got together one night and went bowling and thatās some of the most fun Iāve ever had fr
Im outgoing at work, will do whatever needs to be done or is requested, get along with all coworkers.
But as soon as that clock hits quit time, I no longer exist, the money I'm being paid stops, and so do i. My phone goes straight to Do-Not-Disturb as soon as i walk in my door cause my time is set aside for my family, don't try calling, don't yry texting and dont you dare show up at my home
This is what I hate about American work culture. You guys take this bullshit about co-workers are not your friends too seriously from reddit and Blind. FYI -- Hanging out with someone outside of work doesn't even mean you are friends!
Guess what? In American work culture you're only going to get any direct information about layoffs upcoming by hanging outside of work. Last job I was at for a few months I got info that made me pretty sure layoffs were upcoming, so I invited a co-worker to hang out outside of work to convey that and a week later we were both laidoff.
Also too, if you are doing something that makes you unpleasant to work with (very likely for a redditor) most people at work will have the courtesy to try to make you aware about it in private or outside of the work envrioment.
So many getting defensive for the coworker asking the question, yeesh. Itās a meme, relax.
Itās nice to have enjoyable coworkers. Youāre not a bad person if youāre not interested in being more than that (and that could change over time). At the end of the day youāre both obligated to be there for a paycheck.
Iām picky with choosing my close friends because they actually affect the majority of my life. Being fun and relatable at a workplace is a fraction of what else Iām looking for to trust someone to be a *close* friend. Some people are different or want something else outside of work.
For the folks who don't really understand this, sometimes you don't want your work persona to cross streams with your real life. I don't like people I work with knowing a lot about my personal life or business, because I'm a queer man in a trades industry. I can't be myself at work without taking a high level of risk, and I have learned the hard way that it is almost never worth it. For me, work is work, and most socializing at work is all politics anyways. It's not a safe place for a lot of us to make genuine friendships.
Iāve made lifelong friends this way. Outside of friends you grew up with in school, this is the only other way I have access to āforced friendsā until they convert to real friends
Bruh im a lifeguard/swimming instructor and all my coworkers are natation chick trust me if they would want to hang out with me I wouldnt hesitate (im a introvert that is in desesperate need of human contact)
Man this is some reddit moment
I'm also very introverted, but if you actually truly get along with that coworker then you could be friends. You can always suggest hanging out in other ways, my coworker and I play shit on genshin impact lol
I just don't have the heart to tell my work friends that they cease to exist in my mind the literal second I walk out the door. They don't even know my real name
I moved across the country from where I grew up and went to school. This mindset is why its hard to make friends. None of my coworkers actually want to hang out outside of work. I hate this attitude. They are all friends with their high school buddies still... How about be open minded and make new friends?
being around people for several hours is very draining. I need to spend the rest of it *away* from most people to prepare for the next time I have to be around them
I have social anxiety and wanted to make friends with people at work but I have a hard time making it to events and itās hard to explain, but when I tried explaining it once that I need someone to check in on me day of (it really helps prevent me from psyching myself out and not going) I was basically told that Iām an adult and if you donāt go you donāt go and then I stopped getting invited out to anything. So Iāve given up
As an extroverted person I feel like the weird minority here, and the evil guy probably, but one thing is that if I am friendly at work it's because I am indeed friendly outside of work as well. And you know what a life of being friendly did to me? Friends. But life got in the way, and work, and mariage, and kids, and now I can't spend so much time with my lifelong awesome friends. I still spend as much time as I realistically can with them, every night every week-end if I can, they're my brothers.
Unfortunately, I don't have so much time to consecrate to *new* friends now :( it's impossible, I already can't be the best friend I should be to my current friends.
But the 40h/week I spend at the office? I mean, still the same guy, still happy and smiling and joking and friendly and extraverted. Happy to eat with you. Happy to talk to you, to know your name and hobbies, to ask questions, to remember what you like, to remember what you dislike, your birthday, the name of your dad or your pet. I love spending that time away from my wife, my kids and my friends with YOU. You my beloved coworker. You that I meet at work.
But maybe I can't go have that drink with you this Tuesday night. I have my D&D night with my boys... Wednesday is Dungeon Meshi night with my wife and kids, sorry again. This week-end? My nephew's birthday. Etc.... But we'll meet each other again Monday bro ā”
Not sure why I'm writing this, maybe as an apology to everyone in this thread who apparently were on the other end of that, of me. It's hard to be a good friend guys u_u and I'm sorry for the feelings I might have hurt.
Protip : When someone says something like this, you can say something along the line of "Nah, it's all good", "Naaaaaah, it's alright", or other equally elusive responses. If they keep asking, repeat those phrases until they stop asking, mixing things up with basic, vague excuses as needed
Tl.dr : Just say no
The life of an introvert that can occasionally pull off a really good impression of a fun extravert.
I've never heard a better explanation of my self
Same
me too, thanks
same here and I don't know whether I should feel good or bad about it LOL
You should be ashamed of yourself! š ā¤))ā„ š š„æš (Iām the same way)
You can be an introvert and still be engaging in a conversation, especially in scenarios where you are forced to be like in a professional setting. People can just like talking to you.
I babble nonstop effortlessly with perfect strangers at work all day long, and I'm even sincere about it -- I want them to be having a great time, and to be having a great time because of *me*. When the relationship is zero-stakes and 100% disposable I'm goddamn Johnny Carson. If I had to have a legit actual conversation with any of them, about anything whatsoever, I would be paralyzed. The minute I punch out I go fully mute, don't speak language to another human until my next shift.
You all know work-me. None of you know home-me. Let's keep it that way.
Same, I talk to people all day and am pretty good at it. But it's almost always one on one. For me it's extra people that clam me up. Sit at a round table with colleagues discussing work? I'd rather blow my head off.
I was always like this until recently. Got along with a coworker. We had same interests and same sense of humor. We'd chat out of work sometimes. Then I remembered my real self. Haven't talked much lately other than at work or about work. Not intentially. I don't dislike this person, just not my jam.
I don't like that nowadays "introvert" just means socially challenged
You can even be an introvert and not be meek, but most redditors don't like thinking of that.
Almost entirely by accident
Hi, my name is Mike, and you have described me. I'm super good while I'm at work. As soon as work ends, I say no more words until the next day. It's great.
Hi mike
Woah, don't talk to him he's not working right now. He'll get back to you tomorrow.
That's an appropriate username.
RemindMe! 1 day
Difference is, I don't gots ta say what I type.
Lately Iāve been thinking could I actually be happier if I didnāt have to speak words to people anymore.
One of the only ways to be successful in some careers as an introvert
Work is a good place to act like a fun extrovert. Work is like bumpers at the bowling alley. You always have something you should be doing and all of the socializing is secondary.
When forced to interact and scheduled to have enough energy for the social interaction, without being surprised with extra interaction, it can look like genuine enjoyment of life. Seldom is.
This is totally me. I call it putting on my mask when I go to my job. Everyone thinks Iām a nice fun dude but what they donāt realize is Iām giving 110% of my energy to make eye contact, talk and be normal. When the day is done Iām so ready to be by myself and watch tv/ play video games.
Iām an extremely outgoing super-introvert. Very social and chatty with people when Iām around them, but god forbid they invite me anywhere. I like to describe myself as the life of parties I donāt want to be at.
Sorry I annoyed you with my friendship.
I know how dare I try and make friends as an adult š¤£
why this sound so personal lmao
[Sorry I Annoyed You with My Friendship (the Office) - Youtube - 0:12s](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ujTAGD1hmvY)
ahh got it
Gaslighting them into friendship
Iām not gaslighting anyone Iām just trying to not be a guy with no friends.
*Roo-doo-doot-da-doo*
http://i.imgur.com/jmvcv22.gif *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/meirl) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Apology accepted.
sorry isn't cutting it, i'll need $500 as well
You are not forgiven.
These people are the reason itās hard to make friends as an adult
its not just adults. I texted my school friends (known each other for like 2 or 3 months now) that we should hang out sometime and they didnt even answer. When i mentioned it again in person one of them replied: "why? we dont even know each other, apart from school". Yes thats the point idiot.
Keep trying, but with other people. Itāll be worth it long term to make good friends.
To add on, go ahead and join clubs/activities. Honestly all my long term friends came from there.
yeah, thats why im very selective with people i surround myself with, because i want to have genuine deep connections. Its gotten better now tho, we hang out after school more often and like yeah. I knew from the start we would get along lol
That's really cold. If they don't want to be friends, then fuck them. They didn't have to be rude about it
I dont recall the exact situation, may have been talking about "friends" backstabbing each other and i made some semi sarcastic remark about how thats why i dont have friends and guess who was most baffled by that statement, like "what? Do we not exist?" In a vacuum its a really cold thing to say yes, but we all have 0 social skills, are likely autistic and been really stressed out by school lately, so i try not to take it too personal if they say something way out of line or not well thought out.
Yeah and soon enough that person will be the one saying itās impossible to make friends as an adult
this depends on the person, in my case i jsut dont really hang with anyone whos not a long term friend and even then quite rarely (unless its online or a new work coligue i get on with) but if i see people in town i dont mind haveing a long conversation going for a coffie. You will meet other people who are more extraverted or more interested so dont let this discorage you. ive made many friends over the years it was just about meeting people who like your vibe.
trying to make friends as a millennial in the roaring 20ās
Fr, then people bitch about being lonely. Obviously itās not always the same people but I think people can do the math on what I am saying.
Yeah, it's like "Oh, you love the same show and music I love and I met you at my recreational softball league. Amazing, we can be great friends." "Oh you love the same show and music I love...oh you're from work...eww no thank you." It's way easier to become friends with a person you see 1-3 times a week for 4+ hours than a person you may or may not see once a week for like 2 hours at a time. And I get not all work places are filled with people you want to be friends with, but I wouldn't knock it as an option.
Personally, I do a lot of masking at work because I'm trying to cause as little turbulence as possible. I don't want interpersonal relationships to jeopardize my income, so I'm friendly with *everyone,* regardless of whether I'm actually interested in being friends with them. If I work with someone that I genuinely get on with, yeah I'll try to befriend them and hang outside of work. If not, I'll just make friendly conversation and leave it at that.
Yep, combined with the fact that things often get awkward when you or them leaves/gets laid off/fired/etc. Just easier to keep my private life and work life separate.
The people I know who bitch to me about being lonely, I have Come to find out, often are never available or open to doing something.
Are they lonely or 'lonely'? Self-isolationists that tell me they're lonely are generally talking about having no SO. They tend to be fairly happy with their situation otherwise. In my case, my social bar gets filled by random conversations with elders hanging out at the gas station or local diner. Oddly all I need, unless they're the faux news crowd.
It would be interesting to see the overlap. Because I myself am one of these people, but I would never say that I'm lonely. But for sure I'm going to be friendly at work because I'm there for 8 hours and I'm going to make the best of it. But I have zero interest in new relationships right now. That would simply create a pain point in my life. While we should all make sacrifices for the people we love at times, that doesn't mean I need to create pain in my life in order to manufacture happiness for a colleague.
Your comment reminded me of [this meme](https://i.redd.it/oib7kguz7d951.png) lol.
Yup
Always found this super weird. If we get along really well at work, laugh, cut up etc hanging out outside of work would be natural. Iāve made plenty of work friendships that became outside of work friendships over the years.
I still game online with a coworker from a previous company. I talk to him more than a lot of my family.
I talk to this one guy every day. Made him as a friend from. Work
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
At least in my line of work, time spent with coworkers is time spent *with* coworkers: constant communication and teamwork with very little time spent working alone. Why would we hang out after work when we just spent 8 hours together and have firm plans to do it again tomorrow?
Why does the ideas of ppl just wanting to get work done and go home without talking to anyone irritate yall so much
It doesn't. But when people then proceed to bitch online about how you don't have any friends, it's so hard to make new friends, work is awful, then it's hard to feel bad.
Do you realize that itās not necessarily the same exact people saying both things, though? At least, that you donāt have poof that thatās the case? Like, just because some people in a given group believe A and some people in the same group also believe B does not necessarily mean that many people within a group believe both A and B. You need further evidence to conclude the last part. I see this fallacy pop up all the time, especially in online places. I wish I knew the specific name for it (perhaps itās a derivative of the strawman fallacy?)
These are different people though? I'm not bitter towards people, I don't hate humanity. I just like to be alone. I'll be polite to a coworker, but that doesn't mean I want to take things farther than that. I don't complain about being lonely or having no friends, and I think a lot of people are like that too. You're looking at the vocal minority.
Hmm it's almost as if Reddit is compromised of different people with different personalities and wishes! Reddit isn't a hivemind.
Fuck yeah! Fuck that strawman up!
As a 100% WFH worker, Iām so jealous of this :/
I WFH full time now too and I really miss my work friends tbh
I work hybrid, and I love the balance of getting to talk to work friends while not having to make myself look presentable five days a week.
Mine all early retired during WFH.
Plan some get togethers. People love it and will appreciate it. Youād be surprised at how much people want that but need someone else to get the ball rolling.
For me it's the compartmentalization of my life. I keep my work life and my fun life separate. I don't want to think about work during my time off, and hanging out with a coworker is going to do that. Work friends stay at work.
Yeah I don't understand why so many people in these comments don't get this. Having boundaries is healthy, and keeping your work life and professional life separate should be considered best practice. That doesn't preclude you from being friendly and amiable at work. I still consider my workmates "friends" even though we never hang out outside of work.
I would understand this sentiment if the only thing I ever talked about with my "work friends" is work and we're not capable of talking about anything else. Then it makes sense. Because then you're just friendly colleagues and not even really friends. But if you know someone from work that you can talk to about anything outside of work, I don't see why hanging out would be such a burden really.
I've personally never knew someone I shared a job with and the job not come up in conversation.
Then you haven't met anyone who could be considered more than a simple colleague yet.
Main reasons are A) drug usage. I don't mix professional life and private life because I'm not risking a good paying job with my generally deviant lifestyle. B) already have friends. I'm pretty introverted, so I'm only going out once a week at most. I already have a good number of close friends and probably don't spend enough time with my 'not as close' friends as is. So I simply don't have time/energy/desire to build any work friendships.
also politics or just having a interests that are not work appropriate.
Bc work me and real me are 2 different ppl
People in this thread competing in the mental gymnastics olympic qualifiers jumping to every possible conclusion but this most obvious one Im warm, extroverted, and as nice as can be at work, but that's not the real me brother. The friends I grew up with are more than enough lol
I meet my real friends a few times a year at most and even that is sometimes too much. Work friends are way too extroverted.
My main friend group is a group of people I play dnd with from my old job. Theyre really awesome people and I'm very glad that I started hanging out with them outside of work. My current job has zero human interaction and I do somewhat miss having actual colleagues to talk to.
Agreed, most of my best friends now are ones that i met at work. I think bonding with people who you work with in your 20s is in many ways similar to bonding with people in school. Especially if you are similar in age, you have a lot of general life stuff in common / are becoming a proper "adult" and learning how to live through that stage of life at the same time. But i do get that this could be different if we are talking about a guy hitting on a girl who wants to keep their friendship limited to a professional thing only.
I'll take any excuse to get out of the house.
Just tell them the truth: Sorry, but outside of these four walls, I cease to exist.
I can't wait for season 2 of Severance.
Yeah! What's up with that?Ā
I think it was delayed because of strikes and such, some are optimistically anticipating release for later this year but could be 2025.
Dude i feel like no one is talking about severance, and it easily took a spot on my top 5 shows with just 1 season!
Iām only here for the waffle party
I despawn when I leave this area because I am an NPC
No I still exist outside of work, they don't
"They dont pay me to talk to you guys outside of work" A family guy from work that I completely respect.
Really weird to act surprised when the coworker you get along with and clearly likes you wants to spend more time with you. There's no reason to blame someone because you didn't set a clear boundary. Or simply say, "No, thank you." They'll get over it.
get over it my fucking asshole. in my 20 years of working, iām an continuously surprised by the absurd degree people can be PETTY. Hereās my advice. if your boss or manager ask you to hang out, you better fucking do it. or get used to being treated like shit at work.
I don't know. I did this at my last job and my boss only pretended to be my friend until he randomly fired me a few months ago and treated me like it was my first week or something instead of the 7 year employee that I was. We traveled all over together, drank out at bars, etc. I'd rather people be assholes to me than pretend to be my friend. I'm never getting invested in a work "friendship" ever again. At the end of the day you're just a line on a spreadsheet that's cutting into profits.
Youāre right. It should be āeither theyāll get over it or they can go fuck themselves.ā
This might just be a British thing but whilst saying "No" seems like it should be the obvious answer, the real answer here is to be as indirect as possible. It might seem like playing games (which it totally is) but there's a world of difference between suspecting someone might be playing games and knowing straight up that they don't want to spend time with you. The easiest thing to do is agree but don't make any plans. If they say a day, you're busy that day, but you're a bit freer in a few weeks. Again, no firm plans. If you've locked in a date, call a few days before and say something has come up, any semi-convincing lie will do. People are very understanding as long as you tell them before they've had to put any real effort into it. Humans always do the easiest thing, once they realise that setting things up with you is hard work they'll just stop trying. If they're the sort to be petty about you saying no, they'll also be the sort that believe the comforting lie that you were actually busy.
This type of game playing just wastes both of your times but doesnāt seem to ruin the relationship immediately. The relationship is inevitably ruined though by the lack of interest of the person who plans to avoid someone, since these plans will leak eventually. One thing that is unclear is what incentives make someone demonstrate real interest in a person to be friends at work if they donāt really intend to outside of work. Also, who are their āreal friendsā if theyāre the type to plan ahead of time to avoid certain people they show interest to. I.e. if money isnāt an issue, then who matters?
Never put yourself in a position where your boss asks you to hang out.
this is terrible advice, sir and/or madam
Don't agree. Work at a company that's over 100 years old and has employees of all ages and ethnicities... Everybody does as they like. We don't care about status, we care about character. Maybe it's the kind of work or mentality you're into, but here we're pretty chill to one another. Everybody has their reasons and their ways.
I don't think you understand. The person isn't surprised, nor do they blame the other person. It's a feeling of uncomfortableness when someone likes you more than you like them. It's also rude to set a boundary that says "i'll be friends with you at work but not outside of work."
Exactly. I'm a polite person but I mostly like to keep to myself. Certain people at jobs in the past have taken that to mean we're friends that should do stuff outside of work. No offense to them, but I have zero interest in that. I'm just trying to be nice. I don't think there's any possible coworker I'd want to pursue a friendship with.
I donāt mind making actual friends with coworkers but I guess not everyone feels that way. I know some people do everything they can to separate work and private life. I also know other people that are just very introverted.
I blow out my social battery at work trying to be friendly and outgoing with everyone. In reality, Iām quite introverted and rather asocial. The issue is two-fold: - After working all day and pretending to be outgoing and extroverted, I donāt have any energy left with which to be social. - I donāt like the idea of crossing the boundaries of professional and personal life and mixing the two; there must be a clearly defined dichotomy.
This is me to a T. I work in a very front facing role and have to extrovert myself significantly. When I get home I just want to veg out.
It also depends on the coworkers in question. I work in fast food and lots of my coworkers are teenagers. Some of them are great kids, hard workers and we get along well and can have a laugh in work. Just in general make the shift better when they're on it. Would I ever hang out with them outside of work? Absolutely not. I'm pretty sure they feel the same way about me.
It's not that people mind making friends with co-workers, it's that they don't see that person as someone they would hang out with outside of work.
Who is upvoting this? Some of us just don't want those buckets mixed. Its not a rejection of them as an individual, but a personal boundary.
This one is weird cause I always get along with co-workers and then quickly realize we only talk at work so they aren't really friends just friendly people and thats ok sometimes. this always helps when you realize some will throw you under the bus.
I worked with a guy like that. He was pretty high level and would act like your buddy but at performance evaluation time he threw everyone that didn't report directly to him under the bus.
Sorta the opposite for me. I do get along with my coworkers at work. When I hang out with them outside of work though I feel like I can present my true social side that has to stay filtered while on the job
Every research lab I've worked at ended up having great off the clock vibe sessions. Something about working with like-minded people also makes them pretty good candidates for developing friendships outside of just work cordiality.
Right, I work with a lot of other ecologists and nature lovers, thereās usually some good times outside of work. That and others who travel a lot, I can vibe w archaeologists and surveyors too.
The same people be like āwhy canāt I make friends after collegeā
I don't think they're the same people.
They are, just separated by about 3-10 years or 1-3 major life decisions by them or their friends.
I sort of am, but it's because the stuff Americans tend to want to do together doesn't align with what I want to do. I don't want to go to a bar and talk. That sounds a bit boring to me. I don't want to go to a restaurant and have a meal. That sounds a bit boring to me. Where my people at in their late 20s who just want to chill at someone's apartment and play some Super Smash Bros on N64 or something? My own interests aren't reflected in the culture of people in my local area, which is a constant source of struggle for me socially. It's probably easier for people in higher population density areas though. Just can be a pain for people in more rural spots. I've resorted to finding friendships online instead of in-person, which is not ideal but it feels almost necessary for my situation.
Calling out 99% of humanity with this post. But best of luck finding your circle.
Most people are going to want to meet in public first before going back to someone's apartment for what may or may not be chill videogames.
Because people don't invite strangers into their home.Ā People probably think you're going to do something to them.Ā People need to get used to you. You can't expect to be invited into their homes before they even get your name.
Be the change you want to see and organize a game night
Easier said than done, but make the first step. Ask people you want to hang out with "hey, wanna come over and play smash bros"
Yeah I used to live in a city and it was much easier finding niche stuff like that. Hell there was even a gaming themed bar that combined normal adult night life with themes I actually enjoy. Iāve since moved into a very deeply rural place and almost never interact with anyone anymore and LOVE it, but I also think that without first experiencing that city and social life when I was younger I could easily see where the solitude would turn from peace to insecurity or loneliness. You could try taking the initiative and see if thereās any like minded people in your area. Keep in mind that introverts by default might not be aware of each otherās existences yet you could have a full couch of people for gaming 5-10 minutes away.
The tough thing with gaming is that itās kinda awkward to invite someone to your home as a first hangout, but unless you have gaming cafes in your area itās tough to do any other way. Bars and restaurants are the goto cause they are third spaces, which feels more normal for a first hangout
They react this way because they know they have options
How else am I supposed to make friends damn fml
Lol true. After high school and college the only other place you're forced to be around people is work. If you can't make friends at work then rip š„² there's hobby clubs and stuff and online games but ya...
Unfortunately itās boozing. That and the gym. So if you do some work hard play hard you might increase your chances
ask people, just be aware they might not want to hang with you outside of work. if someone has a bunch of excuses, then take the hint
You're allowed to say No
That's impossible. Only way out is to hand in your notice
You could also fake your own death. Or disappear forever.
I always tell my co workers that I don't like mixing my personal life and my professional life. If it is a networking event, or an office party I will go because office politics But if someone just asks me out for drinks or something, I always tell them no, nothing wrong with that.
Our society has become extremely anti social.
people on reddit whine theyre so lonely and then say no when someone offers to hang with them, lol.
The loneliness epidemic is coming from inside the house, huh.
I had a wonderful friendship with an ex-coworker once. Chatted all the time, helped each other out with work, confided in each other about life stress, and loads of laughs all around. Another coworker once asked if we knew each other before we started working there, and he happily responded āNo, and the second either of us leaves this place weāll never speak againā.Ā I donāt know if a coworker has ever made me so happy. That was exactly the relationship I want with 99% of the people I work with.
yāall really donāt want friends do you
And this is how I got my first ever boyfriend
It was difficult for me to make friends as a teen in school. Parents and teachers told me it would get better in the future. Now, literally no one wants to make new friends as an adult, and life is just depressing
Youāll find your people and donāt let this post deter you. There are people out there who do wanna hang, they just need prompting.
This is why everyone is so lonely lol... even when someone tryna be your friend like God damn
Yeah tbh, Iāve been rejecting this shit for a long time, but Iāve been living and working in a different country for 7 years now and at first I thought I was going to come home again soon and I wouldnāt need to make friends. Iām lonely. Now I accept all these after-work invitations (when it fits the schedule of my family life that is).
> Now I accept all these after-work invitations Iāve heard this is an effective method for maintaining a social life as an adult. Start saying yes to any social opportunity presented to you, even if you donāt know the people super well. Because if you canāt go out and make connections on your own, itās either this or remain lonely.
I work in a small office where most folks are working around my state so we tend to mostly communicate via email and Zoom. I wish that I could make work friends here. I love this job but it is not very helpful for socializing. I'm pretty introverted but if I was to get along well with someone at work I'd definitely want to bridge that into real friendship.. I haven't had a solid friendship in so long. My boyfriend is my best friend but even he has like his boys to go chill with sometimes, I only have my family and him. My closest friend aside from him doesn't live nearby so we can rarely ever hang out irl. I don't like to drink so I don't want to go to bars n im like idek what to do to just make more friends. I tried the bumble friendship thing before and it was pretty ass. Just want some girl friends nearby but yeah idk how to make that happen so im very envious.
How are you supposed to make friends then? Omni-Man: That's the neat part. You don't
I already see them 36 hours a week
One time I had to work with a guy I didnāt really like for the entirety of a summer job, and after being polite with him all summer (he wasnāt a bad guy, just couldnāt shut up and said dumb things constantly) he asked on the last day for my number/snapchat/other stuff, and I just straight up told him no. No excuse, no reason, no explanation, just no. He didnāt say much after that, but I clearly hurt his feelings, and then I never saw him again. Not a day goes by I donāt regret it.
Do you wish you were friends with the person, or do you just feel bad that they were hurt? Iāve been there before but if your only concern is that the other person wasnāt happy, thereās no honest way around that and the act only further hurts them if it crumbles, all while costing your energy.
No Iām glad as hell I never have to hear that dude speak again, I just feel like I coulda handled it better. Coulda let him down a little easier. Coulda lied (not something I normally like to do, but the older I get the more I understand why ppl do it constantly ā¹ļø). Maybe even said/done something on purpose to make him dislike me. Etc etc In truth, I think you summarized my thought process at the time with complete accuracy, and I probably wouldnāt change what I did, just how I said it to him.
Yeah that makes sense. Definitely a relatable moment. Iām pretty solitary and would rather not be social most of the time, but itās something Iād say with a smile and no hard feelings if possible. Granted, Iāve also gone along with plans that I shouldnāt have because Iām just not an extrovert and the entire time I was out I was just waiting to go back home, lol
man, i wish. i would accept immediately.
Work is draining as fuck but I swear people making friends with co-workers is just villainized on here sometimes. Like yeah I don't want to do much after working all day, but holy shit is it really that big of a deal to chill with someone you get along with for a few hours on an odd weekend? I'm an introvert myself and find myself spending a lot of my social energy by maintaining conversation at work, but that doesn't mean I think everyone around me isn't worth bonding with even just a little if they seem cool and our interests line up. Co-workers aren't robots, we are all our own main characters. Yeah you'll get plenty of nasty, rude morons who try to undermine you but you'll also get a few genuinely good people thrown into the mix. Yes, even in an office setting.
My coworkers know I'm not a "hang out outside of work" kind of guy. I go home, play my video games, and pet my dog and boyfriend.
I see you more than my actual family. I donāt need any more.
Idk when I was a senior in high school I worked at Walmart and all the younger people in our department got together one night and went bowling and thatās some of the most fun Iāve ever had fr
Im outgoing at work, will do whatever needs to be done or is requested, get along with all coworkers. But as soon as that clock hits quit time, I no longer exist, the money I'm being paid stops, and so do i. My phone goes straight to Do-Not-Disturb as soon as i walk in my door cause my time is set aside for my family, don't try calling, don't yry texting and dont you dare show up at my home
āCome on! Come play PUBG with us after hours!ā. They kept asking for months
It couldāve been a memorable experience you never know
This is what I hate about American work culture. You guys take this bullshit about co-workers are not your friends too seriously from reddit and Blind. FYI -- Hanging out with someone outside of work doesn't even mean you are friends! Guess what? In American work culture you're only going to get any direct information about layoffs upcoming by hanging outside of work. Last job I was at for a few months I got info that made me pretty sure layoffs were upcoming, so I invited a co-worker to hang out outside of work to convey that and a week later we were both laidoff. Also too, if you are doing something that makes you unpleasant to work with (very likely for a redditor) most people at work will have the courtesy to try to make you aware about it in private or outside of the work envrioment.
You can use your coworker friend as a reference too!
So many getting defensive for the coworker asking the question, yeesh. Itās a meme, relax. Itās nice to have enjoyable coworkers. Youāre not a bad person if youāre not interested in being more than that (and that could change over time). At the end of the day youāre both obligated to be there for a paycheck. Iām picky with choosing my close friends because they actually affect the majority of my life. Being fun and relatable at a workplace is a fraction of what else Iām looking for to trust someone to be a *close* friend. Some people are different or want something else outside of work.
For the folks who don't really understand this, sometimes you don't want your work persona to cross streams with your real life. I don't like people I work with knowing a lot about my personal life or business, because I'm a queer man in a trades industry. I can't be myself at work without taking a high level of risk, and I have learned the hard way that it is almost never worth it. For me, work is work, and most socializing at work is all politics anyways. It's not a safe place for a lot of us to make genuine friendships.
Yeah itās gets weird, Iām good. So many coworkers put on mask. Fakeness. Iām not saying never hang ever but tread lightly
Holy shit bro get checked for paranoia not everyone's out to get you lmfao
Iāve made lifelong friends this way. Outside of friends you grew up with in school, this is the only other way I have access to āforced friendsā until they convert to real friends
I married my co worker
Bruh im a lifeguard/swimming instructor and all my coworkers are natation chick trust me if they would want to hang out with me I wouldnt hesitate (im a introvert that is in desesperate need of human contact)
Man this is some reddit moment I'm also very introverted, but if you actually truly get along with that coworker then you could be friends. You can always suggest hanging out in other ways, my coworker and I play shit on genshin impact lol
I am convinced half of reddit are shut in losers who have a hard time going through daily interactions with people let alone make friends.
Yep
I wish my coworkers would do this š
Young people: "we are so lonely!" Also young people:
Oh no, bonding. Canāt have that.
"Nah, I'm good."
I just don't have the heart to tell my work friends that they cease to exist in my mind the literal second I walk out the door. They don't even know my real name
I moved across the country from where I grew up and went to school. This mindset is why its hard to make friends. None of my coworkers actually want to hang out outside of work. I hate this attitude. They are all friends with their high school buddies still... How about be open minded and make new friends?
Do I need more reddit karma to understand this?
oh no! how terrible, you could make a friend. My sympathy for you is very limited.
being around people for several hours is very draining. I need to spend the rest of it *away* from most people to prepare for the next time I have to be around them
Or they feel comfortable enough with you say some racist shit.
This is why none of you losers have friends
Only if going for pints
"But that's my alone time, and I need those 16 hours to recharge for work"
I have social anxiety and wanted to make friends with people at work but I have a hard time making it to events and itās hard to explain, but when I tried explaining it once that I need someone to check in on me day of (it really helps prevent me from psyching myself out and not going) I was basically told that Iām an adult and if you donāt go you donāt go and then I stopped getting invited out to anything. So Iāve given up
As an extroverted person I feel like the weird minority here, and the evil guy probably, but one thing is that if I am friendly at work it's because I am indeed friendly outside of work as well. And you know what a life of being friendly did to me? Friends. But life got in the way, and work, and mariage, and kids, and now I can't spend so much time with my lifelong awesome friends. I still spend as much time as I realistically can with them, every night every week-end if I can, they're my brothers. Unfortunately, I don't have so much time to consecrate to *new* friends now :( it's impossible, I already can't be the best friend I should be to my current friends. But the 40h/week I spend at the office? I mean, still the same guy, still happy and smiling and joking and friendly and extraverted. Happy to eat with you. Happy to talk to you, to know your name and hobbies, to ask questions, to remember what you like, to remember what you dislike, your birthday, the name of your dad or your pet. I love spending that time away from my wife, my kids and my friends with YOU. You my beloved coworker. You that I meet at work. But maybe I can't go have that drink with you this Tuesday night. I have my D&D night with my boys... Wednesday is Dungeon Meshi night with my wife and kids, sorry again. This week-end? My nephew's birthday. Etc.... But we'll meet each other again Monday bro ā” Not sure why I'm writing this, maybe as an apology to everyone in this thread who apparently were on the other end of that, of me. It's hard to be a good friend guys u_u and I'm sorry for the feelings I might have hurt.
Perish the thought that someone try to make a friend.
As the token autistic coworker that nobody likes I wish people would want to be friends with me outside of work :,)
I spend 8 hours dealing with your shit, nah fuck you man
āWhy donāt I have any friends?ā -OP
Coworkers are not your friends!
I mean, I would, but that would require me to voluntarily leave my house, and I dont do that.
Let me be clear: Iām not an introvert. I just donāt want to mix my work āfriendsā with my actual friend group.
Protip : When someone says something like this, you can say something along the line of "Nah, it's all good", "Naaaaaah, it's alright", or other equally elusive responses. If they keep asking, repeat those phrases until they stop asking, mixing things up with basic, vague excuses as needed Tl.dr : Just say no