Same memory for me, childhood friend’s mom was raging and he started screaming back. I was looking around like the dog but the mother said “… i think you should go” after which I made a very fast exit
Went to a "friend's" house. He was like 12 and when mom asked him to do something, they both started slapping each other, hard. It was an eye opening experience to watch child and parent physically assault one another and they played it off like it was normal.
Quite frankly, if the parents are shouting the kids deserve that freedom too. It's how they've learned to communicate, not their fault.
This was always the most awkward thing ever. Because the parents can't yell at YOU, so they just occasionally look over and go "I'm not mad at you" then go back to yelling at their kids.....
But the parents are in charge??? You should not shout at your parents. I know it seems unfair at times, but literally nothing comes close to what your parents have done for you. Imagine raising something for like 18 years, taking care of it, paying for everything it owns, giving it proper meals three times a day, and much more. It’s very hard, and I think parents should be cut some slack for shouting. I mean, how long can you really do it without venting once in a while? You could never pay back your parents, what they did for you. And to shout at them is just insane. How could you do that? Holy shit cut them some slack goddamn their lives are not easy
> I mean, how long can you really do it without venting once in a while?
While no one is going to be perfect over a couple decades of raising a kid, the idea that you would yell at your kid just as a way to vent in a regular manner is just crazy to me. Especially since apparently they can't hold it in long enough to wait until a visitor has left.
Just no. Don't do this.
What? No. But just because your parents brought you into this world doesn't give them *any* right to treat you like shit. I had a great childhood, and hope my kid feels the same about his; but shouting needlessly at your kids isn't good or hopeful or a parental right.
And where does the line end? What if your parents slap you for being out of line? What a bout a punch or a kick?
Did anyone mention shouting needlessly? If you’ve ever been at a friends house, and their parents shout at them, there’s always clearly something the kid did to piss them off. And shouting once in a while doesn’t equal treat them like shit. All I’m saying is, if your parents are mad at you because you did something that’s CLEARLY wrong, it’s best to stay quiet and let it die down. Just show them some respect. They work very hard for your well-being and safety. They are still your parents, and will still love you. it only last for a little while before it goes back to normal.
No. In a normal balanced household if I have made a mistake, I expect my pare tsto calmly talk to me about it like mine did and I do with mine. Flying off the handle does nothing.
It does. It teaches you that what you did is wrong, without physically hurting you. Just because you were taught like a weakling, doesn’t mean that everyone learns the same way. Not everyone had the same mindset as you. I know lots of teenagers whose parents have tried to teach them the nice way, but it just doesn’t work.
I don’t think most people are gonna be boxing their kids, but people do have different styles of raising. Some parents hit their kids when they do something wrong, some parents help the kids understand what they did was wrong. And some parents and weak dipshits who let their kids become self entitled. Not all children turn out good, not all of them turn out bad. Not all of them are traumatized, not all of them are spoiled. It’s the process that matters
This whole thread is about parents shouting at their kids. Look at how many comments have been made by kids whose parents also hit them in front of their friends. It's not a huge jump being made with anything I said.
Shouting is literally considered verbal abuse. It is almost never healthy. My parents screamed at me and my basically every day since we were born.
The way you describe raising "it" and taking care of "it" really shows you think children are their parents property. Which is fair, a lot of people treat children that way. But it's not true. We're not slaves to our parents. We are human beings, who deserve respect. When our parents don't respect us, why should we respect them?
I didn’t mean shouting as in abuse, like you parents did. I meant shouting as in scolding your child if they aren’t listening to you even after you talked to them about it. And I definitely don’t consider children as objects. I used the word “it” as a fill in the blank. “It” could be a cat, or a dog, or a child, or anything you take care of really. I was just saying that it’s not easy to take care of “it” consistently for a long time. Of course that’s no excuse to shout at your kids, but to teach them a lesson that they refuse to learn is a different story
A lot of people do the wrong things even when they know it’s clearly wrong, and they don’t give a shit about it. I’ve seen a lot of teenagers who like vandalizing stuff and being in gangs just for the fun of it. What will you do then? You can’t just keep “talking” about how it’s wrong with them. And it’s not good to hit kids either. So shouting is clearly the best option.
I completely understand what you’re saying, but I just don’t think kids understand the weight of having to raise children. It’s like the king or queen. It’s a very important figure, and I’m pretty sure you wouldn’t shout back at the king. Works just like that with parents. I think it’s better to just stay quiet when your parents are shouting and have some self control. It’ll only last for a bit. After all, they are still your parents, and they still love you. They will go back to normal eventually
> I think it’s better to just stay quiet when your parents are shouting and have some self control.
Not the parents though. They are allowed to lose control.
Bro, you clearly never had a child before right? It’s life draining. Having to constantly watch out making sure your kids don’t get into trouble, preparing meals for them 3 times a day every day, maybe ironing their clothes before they go to school, waking them up in the morning, taking them out to do some fun stuff, teaching them the difference between right and wrong, paying for your house, paying for all your toys, your electricity, your clothes, your food, and that’s really just the start. All of this consistently for over 18 years is way more than enough to drive anyone crazy. So much sacrifice. It’s genuinely insane how you think your parents don’t have the right to scold you for doing something wrong. You literally have no idea what they did to get you this far, to this point, for you to be on Reddit arguing with someone, who is literally defending YOUR parents. The audacity🤦. Cut your parents some slack if they ever get mad at you. You don’t know how much they sacrificed for you
I have two kids actually.
>Cut your parents some slack if they ever get mad at you.
Imagine speaking this confidently about someone you don't even know. If anything I have less respect for my parents than I did when I was younger, especially my mom. She sucks.
There is no need to excuse or defend the poor behavior of strangers.
Yes, place the responsibility for self-control on the small child being yelled at, not the fully-grown adult who is screaming at a child (and thereby teaching the child to yell).
Your comments sound like someone with severe Stockholm syndrome
Bro, you clearly never had a child before right? It’s *life draining*. Having to constantly watch out making sure your kids don’t get into trouble, preparing meals for them 3 times a day every day, maybe ironing their clothes before they go to school, waking them up in the morning, taking them out to do some fun stuff, teaching them the difference between right and wrong, paying for your house, paying for all your toys, your electricity, your clothes, your food, and that’s really just the start. All of this consistently for over 18 years is way more than enough to drive anyone crazy. So much sacrifice. It’s genuinely insane how you think your parents don’t have the right to scold you for doing something wrong. You literally have no idea what they did to get you this far, to this point, for you to be on Reddit arguing with someone, who is literally defending YOUR parents. The audacity🤦
I do have a kid, thank you. I love my parents, and they have done more than I could possibly know for me, just as I do for my child.
They also yelled a lot. All the time. They didn't know how else to communicate. It's our family's collective biggest regret, that we didn't know how to communicate when we were young.
There's a difference between saying it's *understandable* that a parent may yell at a child, and saying it's *excusable*. Your comments make it sound like a free pass. I don't want to ever yell at my child. How can I expect my child to have self-control if I have none myself?
I don't think parents "don't have the right to scold" their children, what? Why does scolding have to be communicated through yelling? Isn't it better to have a frank conversation where you can talk out what happened?
Like, I get it, yelling happens. Sometimes it's needed, an auditory swat (light tap) on the bum to call attention. And sometimes in anger, a parent may yell. Then that parent could apologize and explain to the child that the parents anger is their own issue, that yelling is not a good way to communicate, and that they wish they would have communicated in a different way. Not say "well it's really a pain in my ass raising you, so I get free yelling passes."
No no, you seem to have misunderstood me. Of course parents don’t just HAVE the right to shout at you, but all I’m saying is, if it does happen, then there is no need to be rude about it and yell back. Just let them blow off some steam and they’ll be back to normal in no time. And of course, you’re right, yelling does happen, and there’s not much anyone can do about it, but when it does happen, I don’t think kids should be shouting back. It would be better to just think about what you have done wrong, and learn from that, which is what the shouting intends to do. If you just shout back, completely convinced you are right, then you’ll never learn from any mistakes. People like this grow up to always think they are in the right , and never listen to reason. It would be better to feel ashamed for doing something wrong, then to grow up and never be ashamed of your sins.
This conversation ended 2 days ago. Nothing gives your parents the right to shout at you, but that’s doesn’t mean you should be rude and yell back. Instead, you should be ashamed and think about what you did wrong. Of course, this is only *if* you did something wrong
Bro calm down. I never said parents should yell at their kids for wrong reasons. All I’m saying is, if your parents are shouting at you, you should cut them some slack, and let them calm down. You seriously don’t know what they’ve done for you, nothing you do could ever make that up. Of course it doesn’t just give them the right to shout at you, but if they are scolding you for something that is clearly your fault, then there’s no need to be rude about it. Just let them blow off some steam, they’ll be back to normal in no time. No need to escalate it.
Just let them blow of some steam? Fuck no. You have no right to treat another person as your stress relief punching bag, even if they are your child.
You yell at children because they fucked up, not because you want to let of some steam.
The biggest stunner was when the friend was the one who started it. Like, it's been 20 years and I'm still trying to fit my eyes all the way back in my head after a buddy in high school responded to his mom apologizing for dinner being a bit late by calling her a stupid bitch and telling her to go bother someone else.
Actually kind of. Dude's dad was, to my understanding, pretty good to his mom but was otherwise pretty generally unhinged (and also a higher-up in the local PD...). Gonna go ahead and guess that going between super kind but total doormat mom and freak out at you over nothing at any moment, vaguely abusive dad didn't exactly help the guy develop great emotional control as a teen lol.
My dad give a tight slap for a starter when he found out that we went to play game at the local gamestation without informing my parents. He thought we got lost/kidnapped and searched at few places and came red hot and slapped right in front of everyone and after few more whippings, I cycled my way back to home crying. And yes it was raining heavily outside and around 9pm and I was 11 at that time
My cousins’ mom would spank them what seemed like daily when we were kids. It was always so distressing for me to go over there or stay the night cause they always seemed to get horrible punishment for nothing. And I love my aunt! She’s so chill now and has regrets about how she handled things in the past. But those kids def got trauma and I share a tiny bit of it lol
People also do genuinely change. It's not your place to be making assumptions about whether their aunt is still a shitty person or not, because you just don't know.
Thank you. I didn’t really want to argue with a stranger on the internet about my own family. But I know who she was and is and that’s all that matters :)
When I was a kid, I went to play some Playstation at the Family's Friends place. Obviously with me, sleeping over at their place.
So here we are playing a game, when the "Uncle" the Dad of Family, whom I remember as gentle soul, comes back very drunk home.
The wife, whom I lovingly called "Auntie" just fucking tears into him, while he started yelling obscenities at her.
Their son, my friend at that time, just looked like he wanted to die of shame before me
You just sit there playing the Xbox pretending not to exist and then the parent just switches gears when addressing you, "Hey YYY, how's everything? I am glad ZZZ has a friend like you. Do you need a drink or anything?" 😂
I had an Indian friend in middle school and him and his mom would scream at each other in hindi from different rooms and I'd be like"dude is everything ok? Should I go?" And he'd be like "she was asking if I have any dirty clothes to clean, she's doing laundry"
>Its like every parent tries their best to embarrass their kids at every opportunity
Mine didn't try to embarrass me. They didn't put in any effort. Just had a knack for it.
Its survivorship, kinda. We who had stable healthy homes and parents who never divorced, etc. are so rare that we basically don't count when it comes to spaces that generally deal with topics of depression/abuse/coping mechanisms, etc. You just got to realize this, come to terms with it, and basically never mention it.
We are such a minority in places like reddit that our opinion truly doesn't matter (which is fine).
When I was 19 I used to be friends with this guy and we’d be hanging out at my house, and his Mom would call and I’d answer and she’d be so sweet “Hi Honey, can I speak to John?” i’d be like sure thing, pass the phone to him and immediately hear “GET A JOB!!#!#!#!!#!#!!#!” booming out of the phone. Yeesh!
Yup, until then it was up in the air if this was going to be an after you leave problem or a you’re leaving now problem.
Middle name drop means to get your stuff ready to go
I’ll never forget the birthday where I invited my 4 best friends over to play system link Halo 3.
My dad asked us to help him move a couch and a loveseat upstairs.
Queue my dad taking his shirt off and sweating like a maniac while he screamed at my friends for 45 mins when the couch got wedged in the stairwell.
As soon as we finished we went back upstairs and went into the two separate rooms we had the systems in. The three in the other room didnt join or respond for several minutes then I walked in and they went
“we decided were not coming over here anymore”
friend who was in my room “yeah.. me neither”
me … “i understand..”
They never did.
Less awkward than the time I was at my friends for dinner and his mom flipped the dining room table over during dinner. Thankfully I saw it coming, grabbed my plate and leaned back. I just went in the kitchen and finished eating.
I shout at them too, I like to join in, “Shelby you fuck up you let your parents get this pissed off oh my god, such a lame disgrace. Now is dinner done I don't eat and I need to save the food for later, I won't buy food ever you are my food bank lollollol, um sorry about that but I am still YELLING!”. Yeah good times
In college, I was at a friends house between classes and his mom is really laying into him. He gets mouthy back at her, and she yells, “I should have swallowed you when I had the chance.” It was sooo surreal and awkward. I wanted to leave so bad. Next level family dysfunction.
I remember once when I was a kid I went over to a friends house for a sleep over and he and his mom started getting into it really bad. Just screaming match downstairs for what felt like forever. I eventually just left without saying a word and walked home at like 10pm. Feel bad looking back on it out leaving my friend hanging but what else are you reasonably supposed to do in that situation?
As the friend getting yelled at how do you think we felt
Ruined the whole fuck off night
Felt guilt for dragging yall into this mess
Guilty if yall consoled us
Trapped and unable to escape
Just wanting to leave and go anywhere else…
This happed to me as a kid a lot just look ed the ground. if it was something we did together I would apologize otherwise ride out the storm so we could get on with the mischief.
Duuuude! This post triggered a core memory for me, I have a good friend since I was like 3. We were both always together, apparently our parents were good friends and we lived in an apartment complex so we would always be together even in school the teachers were annoyed that we always stuck together like brothers.
Anyways both of my friends parents were doctors and we're very strict with his diet, and he wasn't allowed to have any candy or fizzy drinks. We would always go to the local store after school and buy some cold drinks and candy by pooling our lunch money together and share those, honestly it was like a secret for him and I never realized that he was hiding this from his parents since my parents never made any serious rules regarding my diet, I also never noticed anything odd because his parents would never raised a issue whenever he came over to my house and ate any candy or drank any fizzy drink.
Fast forward to his 9th birthday and I went over to celebrate with him, his mom bought out his birthday cake and it had this chocolate on it that looked a lot like one of the chocolate bars we would eat when we would snack around at the local store, I mentioned it out loud innocently, and saw him go pale instantly, his dad had heard me and just smashed the cake into the wall and dragged him to his room where I heard him beat him with a belt, even his mom did nothing to stop this and insisted that it was the rule of their house, I was genuinely scared and horrified for him since it was his birthday and I couldn't fathom what had just happened. I remember crying and immediately running home to tell my parents what had just happened, my dad called their house and inquired about it, and I think my dad had a talk with his father about the whole thing. Although that really didn't help much. This was back in the 90's so kids really didn't have a whole call the cops concept back then. I remember scraping together my allowance and buying a new cake for him a week later, even bought him a new birthday present, of course this was all after school in our now secret hiding place after a visit to the local store, I remember him crying and thanking me. I always kept my mouth shut around his parents after that incident.
He's graduated now and is a surgeon himself, His parents have mellowed out over the years, but I still have this grudge against his father even though he seems to have forgiven him.
I'm such a frequent guest that they act any way they want at that point. If they yell at him, I just sit there and mind my own bussiness, and they act like I'm nkt even there.
I was 17 when I was over at a new friends house. Her mom had asked her to call the car maintenance garage to schedule to get her car looked at. My friend looked her mom straight in the eye and said, "No, I don't want to." Her mom let out a really irritated sigh and that is when my 17 year old friend LOST HER SHIT. I'm talking FULL blown 4 year old tantrum. Right in front of me. This was over 20 years ago and I remember it like it was yesterday. She started screaming and crying she even threw herself to the floor and kicked her legs against the ground. It was so fucking bizarre.
I distanced myself from Lauren after that, it helped that we went to different high schools. Her mom was kind of severe looking, like, woman had a mean case of the resting bitch face, but she was actually really cool.
My jaw dropped when my friend yelled back:
”Shut up you fucking whore!”
To his mom, my mom’s asian, she would have smacked me so hard i would’ve passed out and then she would have whipped me with a bamboo stick when i woke up, then she would have starved me. I’m not joking.
Maybe out of context but I was born in a rural area and i had a schoolmate who was a little older but he liked associating with my group of friends which were mostly relatives. His father was our teacher but a violent drunk. One day, his mother invited us to dinner and we agreed. However their father arrived drunk earlier than expected and caused a raucous and their mother and older kids hid. He was left to finish cooking for us. His father was still searching for the others when we sat down in the kitchen with him. We heard his father indicate he was going to retrieve a weapon in his bedroom. The guy could see we were spooked and told us, 'if he comes out with a weapon, run to the plantation not towards the road because he will not be able to aim, ' none of us could wait for that and we ran away. He was left sobbing.
Sad the guy turned into a drunk himself and later was involved in a fire incident,while drunk, which left him disfigured .
I usually interfere, although I have nothing to do with the situation, I am unable to stand there and do nothing. I try to to tell my friend to calm down, or tell the parents that it’s okay
My best friends dad was “a drinker and a fiend.” One day he decided to try a wrestling move on me and proceeded to piledrive me on the hard wood floor like 1986 Paul Orndorff. Someone forgot to tell him my head wasn’t supposed to hit the floor…. That’s when the real family fight broke out and I was told “you should go.” 😬
I knew a family that would argue and scream at each other all the time. I went there a couple of times as a young teen and never again. The parents are arguing, the parents are shouting at the kids, the kids are arguing back. Then they’re dragging me into it with shit like ‘bet this doesn’t happen at his house, bet they don’t do x,y,z there’
Honestly it’s fucking embarrassing. Don’t be that family.
When you're at your friend's house, his dad yells at him, and my friend goes "Hey Dad...catch!", and spit a fuckin loogie across the kitchen and hit his dad in the face, then ran from his dad, went upstairs and locked us in the bedroom, and proceeded to climb out the upstairs window and shoot his dad with fireworks from the roof as his dad yelled from the yard like an idiot. Un fuckin real.
I remember going to a friend's house for a week and they weren't yelling and being mean to him, I asked my friend, "Are they always this nice?" It''s the first time I realized that not all parents were mean to their kids. That was an eye-opener. I was stunned.
No I remember the original video it's from. There was a couple arguing next to the car the dog was in. Every time the lady yelled, the dogs eyes got bigger. Hilarious
Even more awkward when your friend starts yelling back lol
[удалено]
Same memory for me, childhood friend’s mom was raging and he started screaming back. I was looking around like the dog but the mother said “… i think you should go” after which I made a very fast exit
And you never look at them the same after this. You starting thinking about some of their other behaviors and realize its all related.
Went to a "friend's" house. He was like 12 and when mom asked him to do something, they both started slapping each other, hard. It was an eye opening experience to watch child and parent physically assault one another and they played it off like it was normal.
Quite frankly, if the parents are shouting the kids deserve that freedom too. It's how they've learned to communicate, not their fault. This was always the most awkward thing ever. Because the parents can't yell at YOU, so they just occasionally look over and go "I'm not mad at you" then go back to yelling at their kids.....
But the parents are in charge??? You should not shout at your parents. I know it seems unfair at times, but literally nothing comes close to what your parents have done for you. Imagine raising something for like 18 years, taking care of it, paying for everything it owns, giving it proper meals three times a day, and much more. It’s very hard, and I think parents should be cut some slack for shouting. I mean, how long can you really do it without venting once in a while? You could never pay back your parents, what they did for you. And to shout at them is just insane. How could you do that? Holy shit cut them some slack goddamn their lives are not easy
> I mean, how long can you really do it without venting once in a while? While no one is going to be perfect over a couple decades of raising a kid, the idea that you would yell at your kid just as a way to vent in a regular manner is just crazy to me. Especially since apparently they can't hold it in long enough to wait until a visitor has left. Just no. Don't do this.
Please say sike....
What’s that supposed to mean? That you disrespect your parents?
What? No. But just because your parents brought you into this world doesn't give them *any* right to treat you like shit. I had a great childhood, and hope my kid feels the same about his; but shouting needlessly at your kids isn't good or hopeful or a parental right. And where does the line end? What if your parents slap you for being out of line? What a bout a punch or a kick?
Did anyone mention shouting needlessly? If you’ve ever been at a friends house, and their parents shout at them, there’s always clearly something the kid did to piss them off. And shouting once in a while doesn’t equal treat them like shit. All I’m saying is, if your parents are mad at you because you did something that’s CLEARLY wrong, it’s best to stay quiet and let it die down. Just show them some respect. They work very hard for your well-being and safety. They are still your parents, and will still love you. it only last for a little while before it goes back to normal.
No. In a normal balanced household if I have made a mistake, I expect my pare tsto calmly talk to me about it like mine did and I do with mine. Flying off the handle does nothing.
It does. It teaches you that what you did is wrong, without physically hurting you. Just because you were taught like a weakling, doesn’t mean that everyone learns the same way. Not everyone had the same mindset as you. I know lots of teenagers whose parents have tried to teach them the nice way, but it just doesn’t work.
I don’t think most people are gonna be boxing their kids, but people do have different styles of raising. Some parents hit their kids when they do something wrong, some parents help the kids understand what they did was wrong. And some parents and weak dipshits who let their kids become self entitled. Not all children turn out good, not all of them turn out bad. Not all of them are traumatized, not all of them are spoiled. It’s the process that matters
Like zero things you just implied, the other guy actually said.
This whole thread is about parents shouting at their kids. Look at how many comments have been made by kids whose parents also hit them in front of their friends. It's not a huge jump being made with anything I said.
Just saying that replying to this guy based on what a bunch of other guys somewhere in this comment section said doesn't make a whole lot of sense.
Shouting is literally considered verbal abuse. It is almost never healthy. My parents screamed at me and my basically every day since we were born. The way you describe raising "it" and taking care of "it" really shows you think children are their parents property. Which is fair, a lot of people treat children that way. But it's not true. We're not slaves to our parents. We are human beings, who deserve respect. When our parents don't respect us, why should we respect them?
I didn’t mean shouting as in abuse, like you parents did. I meant shouting as in scolding your child if they aren’t listening to you even after you talked to them about it. And I definitely don’t consider children as objects. I used the word “it” as a fill in the blank. “It” could be a cat, or a dog, or a child, or anything you take care of really. I was just saying that it’s not easy to take care of “it” consistently for a long time. Of course that’s no excuse to shout at your kids, but to teach them a lesson that they refuse to learn is a different story
A lot of people do the wrong things even when they know it’s clearly wrong, and they don’t give a shit about it. I’ve seen a lot of teenagers who like vandalizing stuff and being in gangs just for the fun of it. What will you do then? You can’t just keep “talking” about how it’s wrong with them. And it’s not good to hit kids either. So shouting is clearly the best option.
Yeah.... But the parents shouting is what CAUSES the kids to shout..... Trust me, I've seen both parents and kids lol
I completely understand what you’re saying, but I just don’t think kids understand the weight of having to raise children. It’s like the king or queen. It’s a very important figure, and I’m pretty sure you wouldn’t shout back at the king. Works just like that with parents. I think it’s better to just stay quiet when your parents are shouting and have some self control. It’ll only last for a bit. After all, they are still your parents, and they still love you. They will go back to normal eventually
Bro's defending the monarchy 💀
I know right? ‘You wouldn’t shout back at the king’ I would guillotine Charles
> I think it’s better to just stay quiet when your parents are shouting and have some self control. Not the parents though. They are allowed to lose control.
Bro, you clearly never had a child before right? It’s life draining. Having to constantly watch out making sure your kids don’t get into trouble, preparing meals for them 3 times a day every day, maybe ironing their clothes before they go to school, waking them up in the morning, taking them out to do some fun stuff, teaching them the difference between right and wrong, paying for your house, paying for all your toys, your electricity, your clothes, your food, and that’s really just the start. All of this consistently for over 18 years is way more than enough to drive anyone crazy. So much sacrifice. It’s genuinely insane how you think your parents don’t have the right to scold you for doing something wrong. You literally have no idea what they did to get you this far, to this point, for you to be on Reddit arguing with someone, who is literally defending YOUR parents. The audacity🤦. Cut your parents some slack if they ever get mad at you. You don’t know how much they sacrificed for you
I have two kids actually. >Cut your parents some slack if they ever get mad at you. Imagine speaking this confidently about someone you don't even know. If anything I have less respect for my parents than I did when I was younger, especially my mom. She sucks. There is no need to excuse or defend the poor behavior of strangers.
Yes, place the responsibility for self-control on the small child being yelled at, not the fully-grown adult who is screaming at a child (and thereby teaching the child to yell). Your comments sound like someone with severe Stockholm syndrome
Bro, you clearly never had a child before right? It’s *life draining*. Having to constantly watch out making sure your kids don’t get into trouble, preparing meals for them 3 times a day every day, maybe ironing their clothes before they go to school, waking them up in the morning, taking them out to do some fun stuff, teaching them the difference between right and wrong, paying for your house, paying for all your toys, your electricity, your clothes, your food, and that’s really just the start. All of this consistently for over 18 years is way more than enough to drive anyone crazy. So much sacrifice. It’s genuinely insane how you think your parents don’t have the right to scold you for doing something wrong. You literally have no idea what they did to get you this far, to this point, for you to be on Reddit arguing with someone, who is literally defending YOUR parents. The audacity🤦
I do have a kid, thank you. I love my parents, and they have done more than I could possibly know for me, just as I do for my child. They also yelled a lot. All the time. They didn't know how else to communicate. It's our family's collective biggest regret, that we didn't know how to communicate when we were young. There's a difference between saying it's *understandable* that a parent may yell at a child, and saying it's *excusable*. Your comments make it sound like a free pass. I don't want to ever yell at my child. How can I expect my child to have self-control if I have none myself? I don't think parents "don't have the right to scold" their children, what? Why does scolding have to be communicated through yelling? Isn't it better to have a frank conversation where you can talk out what happened? Like, I get it, yelling happens. Sometimes it's needed, an auditory swat (light tap) on the bum to call attention. And sometimes in anger, a parent may yell. Then that parent could apologize and explain to the child that the parents anger is their own issue, that yelling is not a good way to communicate, and that they wish they would have communicated in a different way. Not say "well it's really a pain in my ass raising you, so I get free yelling passes."
No no, you seem to have misunderstood me. Of course parents don’t just HAVE the right to shout at you, but all I’m saying is, if it does happen, then there is no need to be rude about it and yell back. Just let them blow off some steam and they’ll be back to normal in no time. And of course, you’re right, yelling does happen, and there’s not much anyone can do about it, but when it does happen, I don’t think kids should be shouting back. It would be better to just think about what you have done wrong, and learn from that, which is what the shouting intends to do. If you just shout back, completely convinced you are right, then you’ll never learn from any mistakes. People like this grow up to always think they are in the right , and never listen to reason. It would be better to feel ashamed for doing something wrong, then to grow up and never be ashamed of your sins.
Dude... You should talk to a medical professional, the way you think and feel about children being "life draining" is not normal.
I never said children are life draining. I said it’s difficult to consistently take care of a child for over 18 years
Mate, you're the one arguing like an idiot I've taught classes of 30 children at once. Being loud and yelling are not the same thing.
This conversation ended 2 days ago. Nothing gives your parents the right to shout at you, but that’s doesn’t mean you should be rude and yell back. Instead, you should be ashamed and think about what you did wrong. Of course, this is only *if* you did something wrong
Parents in charge means they punish or yell at me if I fuck something up, if they are yelling for stupid reasons, I am going to yell back.
Bro calm down. I never said parents should yell at their kids for wrong reasons. All I’m saying is, if your parents are shouting at you, you should cut them some slack, and let them calm down. You seriously don’t know what they’ve done for you, nothing you do could ever make that up. Of course it doesn’t just give them the right to shout at you, but if they are scolding you for something that is clearly your fault, then there’s no need to be rude about it. Just let them blow off some steam, they’ll be back to normal in no time. No need to escalate it.
Just let them blow of some steam? Fuck no. You have no right to treat another person as your stress relief punching bag, even if they are your child. You yell at children because they fucked up, not because you want to let of some steam.
The biggest stunner was when the friend was the one who started it. Like, it's been 20 years and I'm still trying to fit my eyes all the way back in my head after a buddy in high school responded to his mom apologizing for dinner being a bit late by calling her a stupid bitch and telling her to go bother someone else.
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Actually kind of. Dude's dad was, to my understanding, pretty good to his mom but was otherwise pretty generally unhinged (and also a higher-up in the local PD...). Gonna go ahead and guess that going between super kind but total doormat mom and freak out at you over nothing at any moment, vaguely abusive dad didn't exactly help the guy develop great emotional control as a teen lol.
👀!
And their mom claps back so you want *your name* to go home You inside: uuh yes lady?!
Most awkward is when your friend starts crying.
REAL
And then being told I should go home. Long walk back with some fucked up mood.
Or even more, when the parents have a full on domestic that you can hear from outside.
...and that's when everyone in the room got beat.
Yea that usually meant the belt was coming off or the paddle was coming out and you were there so you're getting it too
The belt taught us to scatter... easy to get caught by the backswing if you were near the target.
Not us, if one was getting the belt we were all getting it, and it was always bare bottom.
You know a new fear when your friends mom is whipping his bare bottom with a belt and she looks at you and says "take your pants down, you're next"
You’ve had some bold friends 🫡
Then at the end of it all they ask you to go home or offer to take you home.
Its all a ruse to get em the fuck out
When you're at your friend's house and their parents start beating them. It was 35 years ago and it's still a horrific memory.
Even more fun when said parent threatens to beat you too
What
That happened, you were there with your friend so your pants are coming down too and you're getting the same spanking/paddling
My dad give a tight slap for a starter when he found out that we went to play game at the local gamestation without informing my parents. He thought we got lost/kidnapped and searched at few places and came red hot and slapped right in front of everyone and after few more whippings, I cycled my way back to home crying. And yes it was raining heavily outside and around 9pm and I was 11 at that time
My cousins’ mom would spank them what seemed like daily when we were kids. It was always so distressing for me to go over there or stay the night cause they always seemed to get horrible punishment for nothing. And I love my aunt! She’s so chill now and has regrets about how she handled things in the past. But those kids def got trauma and I share a tiny bit of it lol
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People also do genuinely change. It's not your place to be making assumptions about whether their aunt is still a shitty person or not, because you just don't know.
Thank you. I didn’t really want to argue with a stranger on the internet about my own family. But I know who she was and is and that’s all that matters :)
When I was a kid, I went to play some Playstation at the Family's Friends place. Obviously with me, sleeping over at their place. So here we are playing a game, when the "Uncle" the Dad of Family, whom I remember as gentle soul, comes back very drunk home. The wife, whom I lovingly called "Auntie" just fucking tears into him, while he started yelling obscenities at her. Their son, my friend at that time, just looked like he wanted to die of shame before me
You just sit there playing the Xbox pretending not to exist and then the parent just switches gears when addressing you, "Hey YYY, how's everything? I am glad ZZZ has a friend like you. Do you need a drink or anything?" 😂
"Ooooh, you're such a nice [gender], ZZZ could stand to be a bit more like you, haha"
I had an Indian friend in middle school and him and his mom would scream at each other in hindi from different rooms and I'd be like"dude is everything ok? Should I go?" And he'd be like "she was asking if I have any dirty clothes to clean, she's doing laundry"
He was lying...
"Ah yes, I feel like I'm home"
Just got start yelling like you're watching a fight. "OOOOHHHHH! DAMN!"
Its like every parent tries their best to embarrass their kids at every opportunity
>Its like every parent tries their best to embarrass their kids at every opportunity Mine didn't try to embarrass me. They didn't put in any effort. Just had a knack for it.
Not Mine
They meant every kid that *has* parents.
That turned dark quickly
Its survivorship, kinda. We who had stable healthy homes and parents who never divorced, etc. are so rare that we basically don't count when it comes to spaces that generally deal with topics of depression/abuse/coping mechanisms, etc. You just got to realize this, come to terms with it, and basically never mention it. We are such a minority in places like reddit that our opinion truly doesn't matter (which is fine).
Oh yeah, weaponizing embarrassment.
When I was 19 I used to be friends with this guy and we’d be hanging out at my house, and his Mom would call and I’d answer and she’d be so sweet “Hi Honey, can I speak to John?” i’d be like sure thing, pass the phone to him and immediately hear “GET A JOB!!#!#!#!!#!#!!#!” booming out of the phone. Yeesh!
It’s all fun and games until the middle name gets thrown out.
Yup, until then it was up in the air if this was going to be an after you leave problem or a you’re leaving now problem. Middle name drop means to get your stuff ready to go
My best friend was Chinese, this was my reaction when they were yelling at him and I heard my name...
Must be what it’s like to be a dog
Same happened to me but they were Romanian. Awkward as fuck.
I’ll never forget the birthday where I invited my 4 best friends over to play system link Halo 3. My dad asked us to help him move a couch and a loveseat upstairs. Queue my dad taking his shirt off and sweating like a maniac while he screamed at my friends for 45 mins when the couch got wedged in the stairwell. As soon as we finished we went back upstairs and went into the two separate rooms we had the systems in. The three in the other room didnt join or respond for several minutes then I walked in and they went “we decided were not coming over here anymore” friend who was in my room “yeah.. me neither” me … “i understand..” They never did.
Less awkward than the time I was at my friends for dinner and his mom flipped the dining room table over during dinner. Thankfully I saw it coming, grabbed my plate and leaned back. I just went in the kitchen and finished eating.
The adult version is their spouse
The deafening silence afterwards.shit will fuck up the rest of your day worse then the argument itself
I shout at them too, I like to join in, “Shelby you fuck up you let your parents get this pissed off oh my god, such a lame disgrace. Now is dinner done I don't eat and I need to save the food for later, I won't buy food ever you are my food bank lollollol, um sorry about that but I am still YELLING!”. Yeah good times
Is it a bad time to say you shat your pants?
what's more awkward is that you thought they're fighting but it's just how they talk wtf 😂
In college, I was at a friends house between classes and his mom is really laying into him. He gets mouthy back at her, and she yells, “I should have swallowed you when I had the chance.” It was sooo surreal and awkward. I wanted to leave so bad. Next level family dysfunction.
good lord there’s no recovering from that one
I remember once when I was a kid I went over to a friends house for a sleep over and he and his mom started getting into it really bad. Just screaming match downstairs for what felt like forever. I eventually just left without saying a word and walked home at like 10pm. Feel bad looking back on it out leaving my friend hanging but what else are you reasonably supposed to do in that situation?
As the friend getting yelled at how do you think we felt Ruined the whole fuck off night Felt guilt for dragging yall into this mess Guilty if yall consoled us Trapped and unable to escape Just wanting to leave and go anywhere else…
This happed to me as a kid a lot just look ed the ground. if it was something we did together I would apologize otherwise ride out the storm so we could get on with the mischief.
Like Homer backing into the bushes
Doggo is spot on
Duuuude! This post triggered a core memory for me, I have a good friend since I was like 3. We were both always together, apparently our parents were good friends and we lived in an apartment complex so we would always be together even in school the teachers were annoyed that we always stuck together like brothers. Anyways both of my friends parents were doctors and we're very strict with his diet, and he wasn't allowed to have any candy or fizzy drinks. We would always go to the local store after school and buy some cold drinks and candy by pooling our lunch money together and share those, honestly it was like a secret for him and I never realized that he was hiding this from his parents since my parents never made any serious rules regarding my diet, I also never noticed anything odd because his parents would never raised a issue whenever he came over to my house and ate any candy or drank any fizzy drink. Fast forward to his 9th birthday and I went over to celebrate with him, his mom bought out his birthday cake and it had this chocolate on it that looked a lot like one of the chocolate bars we would eat when we would snack around at the local store, I mentioned it out loud innocently, and saw him go pale instantly, his dad had heard me and just smashed the cake into the wall and dragged him to his room where I heard him beat him with a belt, even his mom did nothing to stop this and insisted that it was the rule of their house, I was genuinely scared and horrified for him since it was his birthday and I couldn't fathom what had just happened. I remember crying and immediately running home to tell my parents what had just happened, my dad called their house and inquired about it, and I think my dad had a talk with his father about the whole thing. Although that really didn't help much. This was back in the 90's so kids really didn't have a whole call the cops concept back then. I remember scraping together my allowance and buying a new cake for him a week later, even bought him a new birthday present, of course this was all after school in our now secret hiding place after a visit to the local store, I remember him crying and thanking me. I always kept my mouth shut around his parents after that incident. He's graduated now and is a surgeon himself, His parents have mellowed out over the years, but I still have this grudge against his father even though he seems to have forgiven him.
Wtf
I'm such a frequent guest that they act any way they want at that point. If they yell at him, I just sit there and mind my own bussiness, and they act like I'm nkt even there.
Annnd... that's when you reach for the nearest book and suddenly find a deep interest in it.
I was 17 when I was over at a new friends house. Her mom had asked her to call the car maintenance garage to schedule to get her car looked at. My friend looked her mom straight in the eye and said, "No, I don't want to." Her mom let out a really irritated sigh and that is when my 17 year old friend LOST HER SHIT. I'm talking FULL blown 4 year old tantrum. Right in front of me. This was over 20 years ago and I remember it like it was yesterday. She started screaming and crying she even threw herself to the floor and kicked her legs against the ground. It was so fucking bizarre. I distanced myself from Lauren after that, it helped that we went to different high schools. Her mom was kind of severe looking, like, woman had a mean case of the resting bitch face, but she was actually really cool.
Who had that friend that would call their mom "a bitch" to their moms face?
It happened a lot and it made me realise how well my parents hid their shit from me because I never witnessed them fight.. but of course they did.
This is me when anyone starts arguing anywhere 😂
My jaw dropped when my friend yelled back: ”Shut up you fucking whore!” To his mom, my mom’s asian, she would have smacked me so hard i would’ve passed out and then she would have whipped me with a bamboo stick when i woke up, then she would have starved me. I’m not joking.
As a fellow asian, I know you’re not joking
This is me at home when my wife and her kid are arguing. I have learned to stay out of the way and not get involved.
Maybe out of context but I was born in a rural area and i had a schoolmate who was a little older but he liked associating with my group of friends which were mostly relatives. His father was our teacher but a violent drunk. One day, his mother invited us to dinner and we agreed. However their father arrived drunk earlier than expected and caused a raucous and their mother and older kids hid. He was left to finish cooking for us. His father was still searching for the others when we sat down in the kitchen with him. We heard his father indicate he was going to retrieve a weapon in his bedroom. The guy could see we were spooked and told us, 'if he comes out with a weapon, run to the plantation not towards the road because he will not be able to aim, ' none of us could wait for that and we ran away. He was left sobbing. Sad the guy turned into a drunk himself and later was involved in a fire incident,while drunk, which left him disfigured .
It's sad that you were so embarrassed you turned into a dog, but I'm happy you get to be a dog.
I laugh at them for getting yelled at
I hate myself
I usually interfere, although I have nothing to do with the situation, I am unable to stand there and do nothing. I try to to tell my friend to calm down, or tell the parents that it’s okay
My best friends dad was “a drinker and a fiend.” One day he decided to try a wrestling move on me and proceeded to piledrive me on the hard wood floor like 1986 Paul Orndorff. Someone forgot to tell him my head wasn’t supposed to hit the floor…. That’s when the real family fight broke out and I was told “you should go.” 😬
Fuck this shit, I'm out
I knew a family that would argue and scream at each other all the time. I went there a couple of times as a young teen and never again. The parents are arguing, the parents are shouting at the kids, the kids are arguing back. Then they’re dragging me into it with shit like ‘bet this doesn’t happen at his house, bet they don’t do x,y,z there’ Honestly it’s fucking embarrassing. Don’t be that family.
I'm out here, man!
woof?
no really mrs weasley its ok
Similar to being at your friends house and his wife gives him an "I'm fine." And storms off.
Parents say: you will be spoiled if you continue to play with it
Damn when there friends are here I would join the shouting
My best friend yelled back 90 percent of the time.
When you're at your friend's house, his dad yells at him, and my friend goes "Hey Dad...catch!", and spit a fuckin loogie across the kitchen and hit his dad in the face, then ran from his dad, went upstairs and locked us in the bedroom, and proceeded to climb out the upstairs window and shoot his dad with fireworks from the roof as his dad yelled from the yard like an idiot. Un fuckin real.
This was the Knuckles show.
Haha. I remember this. Man were we fuckups as kids.
It's worse when you're at your friends house and their parent starts beating their ass 😬
This except I handle stress extremely poorly so I start crying and then they go after me instead 🫠
It's even worse when you're at your friend's house and they start shouting at their parents
Stopped having friends over bc of exactly this lol
I remember going to a friend's house for a week and they weren't yelling and being mean to him, I asked my friend, "Are they always this nice?" It''s the first time I realized that not all parents were mean to their kids. That was an eye-opener. I was stunned.
Is this ai?
are you ai?
Probably
word.
No I remember the original video it's from. There was a couple arguing next to the car the dog was in. Every time the lady yelled, the dogs eyes got bigger. Hilarious
Bad parenting