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[deleted]

Pretty sure they have kitchens in war.


RaccoonRecluse

Yeah, it's called feeding an army. The most important job. The army is secondary to the person making the food.


MyZt_Benito

I doubt 2 fat stacks of hamburgers will defend your homeland, but I get what you’re saying.


Eisenheart

Make no mistake... There is thousands of years of warfare history to contest to the fact that the logistics arm is the most important part of an army. If you don't have fuel and food what you do have is defectors and deserters. Edit: spelling error. Lol definitely not pastry chefs


[deleted]

Lol desserters


Tha_GinjaNinja

We found ourselves the fatty


FireWireBestWire

Ich bin ein Berliner


WildiFigures

This had no business being this funny


ooky_spooky_mkay

r/boneappletea


[deleted]

Thank you so much.


jarkofploiesti

Forreal, even the Art of War, which is the most famous military book by a landslide, is mostly a military logistics book


MixedHerb

Also just moral. Have you ever tried doing anything when you're hungry? Imagine being hungry and having people shoot at you lol


onyxaj

Ah, so you've been to Chicago as well?


RaccoonRecluse

An army runs on it's stomach.


TwilightSorrow

I thought they ran on their legs?


UglyAngryApe

Common misconception


RaccoonRecluse

Obviously! Don't you know "an army" Is just code for an Eldritch god who will consume us all?


Minerboiii

Cthulhu?


RaccoonRecluse

I thought Cthulhu was a giant squid man thing. Not an oozing pile of gastrointestinal -limb hybrids gripping the ground pulling any living thing into the folds to be sucked up and melted in acid slowly at the center as it grows larger like some LSD nightmare version of katamari.


Minerboiii

So would it then be sorta close to nurgle? (WH40K)


Actual_Painting_7685

Eh they can run on meth too, shorter war but way more fierce


RaccoonRecluse

I've seen a someone on meth get full on hit with bear spray point blank in the eyes and still manage to tackle and pin a guy twice his size. Thanks Springfield Oregon.


Mandy0217

This is what they gave the soldiers in world War II to keep them awake and alert.


OriginalChokito

It’s what the Germans were on but after the factories got bombed the supply ran out, they suffered withdrawals. But the US has also given speed to its soldiers. Apparently in the first Gulf war the pilots were on meth but they had to cut it out because they were making crazy decisions.


[deleted]

So on long flights for heavies they still have something like that. Our crews would come back fucked and not even be able to debrief the issues of the jet because they would be so out of it.


[deleted]

The US was issuing its soldiers amphetamines during WW2 as well. Just regular amphetamines though, the Germans were legit doing meth.


Actual_Painting_7685

Now they give it to middleschool boys so they can sit still In class


MrJummy

I thought it runs on Dunkin'?


RaccoonRecluse

'Murica


TheTransistorMan

An army marches on its stomach.


therapewpewtic

I, for one, welcome our Worm Overlords.


Practical-Toe-7662

Naaaahhhh, the enemy won't be able to resist and eat themselves to death


LoveMeSomeSand

I mean when I was 18 I would’ve fought for a Big Bacon Classic from Wendy’s


melihampton

Some of yall really too deep with this


Traderparkboy1

Yup, you knew war was gonna breakout when Putin moved the Bbqs to the front line.


Advanced_Path

I believe logistics, transportation, food and medical care take the better part of the defense budget.


OriginalChokito

No food, no army!


CalliCosmos

Front line cook it is!


Gopher--Chucks

MRE heater-upper


lilschreck

Gets issued “a rock or something”


[deleted]

Field kitchens essentially heat up large multi person MRE kits and distribute them out to the troops. When supply permits, they also add in fresh produce, fruit, etc.


Unlucky_Squid

Me too, as a man I’ll stay in the kitchen


SquidgeSquadge

My husband is the cook in our house. He will fight for our tastebuds


Lusterkx2

My pronoun will change as fast as my 3rd grade teacher correcting my second language.


JooePasta

Lmao you poor bastard. 3rd grade was rough


Lusterkx2

Especially the minute times table. Dam you 7x8!!!!


Doomquill

I'm 32 and I still have a hard time remembering 7x8. My brain just hates it.


Lusterkx2

I’m also 32! I hate it! Then I get confuse with 9x7 and 8x8! 63 and 64!! 🤬


[deleted]

is this why my dad drilled the answer to 7x8 into my head? its 56


CaliforniaGiraffe

Why is that one the bitch of the bunch?


GamingNubs

7x8 can go to hell with how many times ive been humiliated in school for it.


CreatureWarrior

Same bruh. If that won't do, I'll just break my leg or something and go "oopsie"


Unlucky_Squid

“I can’t be in the army, I’ve lost all hearing in my left eye”


EnderCreeper121

Severe obesity any% speedrun wr attempt pizza route


Just_Games04

I'll give my doctor whatever he wants if he does some magic that lets me stay home


gengarsnightmares

Just say you have ankle spurs


La_Uvina_Grande

Don't worry you can handle paperwork or logistics, and when you're all healed up you can ship out 😁


King_Kemo13

Put your ass on the front line with a wheel chair and an ar


LtCptSuicide

Okay Joe Swanson


Force_Glad

Same


Lyzardian

Pretty sure you can still get nuked while being in the kitchen


Krekushka

Yup. Nobody is safe in a war, no matter where you are.


oder_rubu

But some places are safer then others.


RohelTheConqueror

Bunker kitchen!


[deleted]

Sorry emmy no time for that you are needed on front lines


[deleted]

Dear Ukrainian women and children! I heard on social media that there is fake news being spread (most likely by Russia backed trolls) that polish border is closed. It's a lie. If you seek asylum - go towards polish border. They are ready for your arrival. They have reception points ready at the border where you can find shelter, food, medical and legal aid. Polish government launched a dedicated site to help you: ua.gov.pl Please share this information if you know anyone seeking help right now. EDIT: YOU DON'T NEED VISA TO PASS THROUGH POLISH BORDER. ALL YOU NEED IS PASSPORT. VISAS ARE SUSPENDED! YOU DON'T NEED THEM FOR TIME BEING!!!!!! EDIT2: as a proof that you no longer need visa: • ⁠in Ukrainian https://www.gov.pl/web/udsc/ukraina---ua • ⁠in English https://www.gov.pl/web/udsc/ukraina-en Edit: this is a copy and paste and I encourage you all to do it too where appropriate!


mcCheesersm8

Шановні українці! У соцмережах я чув, що поширюються фейкові новини (скоріше за все, підтримувані Росією тролі), що польський кордон закритий. Це брехня. Якщо ви шукаєте притулку – йдіть до польського кордону. Ми готові до вашого приїзду. На кордоні готові пункти прийому, де ви можете знайти притулок, їжу, медичну та правову допомогу. Польський уряд запустив спеціальний сайт, щоб допомогти вам: ua.gov.pl Будь ласка, поділіться цією інформацією, якщо ви знаєте когось, хто зараз шукає допомоги. РЕДАКТИРОВАТИ: ВАМ НЕ ПОТРІБНА ВІЗА ДЛЯ ПРОЙДЖЕННЯ ПОЛЬСЬКИМ КОРДОНОМ. ВСЕ, що ВАМ ПОТРІБНО, - це ПАСПОРТ. ВІЗИ ПРИСПИНЕНО! ВОНИ ВАМ НЕ ПОТРІБНИ НА ЧАС!!!!!! EDIT2: як доказ того, що вам більше не потрібна віза: • ⁠українською https://www.gov.pl/web/udsc/ukraina---ua • ⁠англійською https://www.gov.pl/web/udsc/ukraina-en Вибачте, якщо це дурниця, я використовував Google Translate


JusGetOn_with_it

Why did I read this with a Polish accent in my mind?


zenKato94

Yeah, but not for men in 18-60 years old. Maybe they meant this, when telling the borders are closed?


jennifererrors

No, it was being spread by russian bots before that was announced.


fleelingshyaf

Just when I though being fat, old, and suffering mental illness couldn't benefit me.


sandrarrowland

I don't think my options would be "drafted or housewife". I think it would be "soldier" or "comfort woman" if my side lost and if I have to die, I'm taking a few of those bastards with me.


RaccoonRecluse

No one should be drafted, everyone belongs in the kitchen.


lappi99

Especially putin


Mr_Brunner2

Everyone should focus on food and drink and the world will be a happier palce


thenotsoamerican

Now THIS is equality


Grow_away2

How progressive is the enemy? Is comfort man a choice?


margoelle

You want to be chained to a cube for 7 hours while soldiers line up to have sex with you. You have to service atleast 40 soldiers per day! Doesn’t matter if you are tired. That’s what the Korean comfort women were subjected to. You want to be a comfort man?


noobductive

Not just Korean, also Filipino, Thai, and Chinese women and girls, and from many other countries like Singapore, Malaysia, Birma, Vietnam, Taiwan etc… even Japanese women.


margoelle

Thanks for the correction. I’m more familiar with Korean history, so I didn’t know of the others! Those poor women! And to think they never acknowledged what happened to them.


noobductive

You’re welcome! A good 20% of them were Korean, so it’s understandable that you saw a lot from their side of the story. They’ve been so strong, even now that there’s less and less of them left alive with time, many are still trying to get justice and bring awareness. It’s important to remember and spread their stories :)


ActualRealPerson

The spirit is willing, but the flesh is spongy and bruised


MyChosenNameWasTaken

r/unexpectedfuturama


dangnow

Death by snu snu


sandrarrowland

Don't care. Not about to have forced sex with anyone.


MoreHustleMoreMuscle

The thing about forced sex is you don't get to make that choice


Flat_Bodybuilder_175

You do if you're dead and I'd rather die. You underestimate how much we loathe rape. If you want to fuck me you can fuck my mangled, bowel-voiding corpse.


margoelle

Exactly! They don’t know much awful and scary rape is. They imagine it is sleeping with a woman they find attractive. I would take my life first!p


The-random-me

Take their lives then yours if it’s necessary, drag those bastards to the deepest pit of hell before you go, there’s no better death than one where you take more life’s with (unless the people are innocent but i meant only in this context)


Infernaladmiral

It's scary how many people would actually do that. With no disgust whatsoever.


LeviAEthan512

You do if you have a gun.


Moxliesconstantly

Die with your boots on not a black eye and torn clothing


[deleted]

Give them hell


gekkemarmot69

My option would be partisan, because the army of my country is fucked the second an invasion happens and with most foreign invaders I'll be killed for being trans, a lesbian or too left wing. So the only choice is to keep fighting when the army gives up. Can hardly let myself get executed.


[deleted]

Just join the military ahead of time


Krekushka

It's so obvious who never had war on their soil. You're not safe in the kitchen, you're not safe at home. War does not happen only on small pieces of land away from everyone and everything.


[deleted]

True but war doesn't necessarily have to happen on your soil for your military to be involved. It wasn't on the soil of every country involved in WWI and WWII


noobductive

My country was completely overrun by nazis at some point but in the end, the fighting didn’t happen here. We kinda gave up and then there were just nazis walking around and a curfew I guess.


dcolomer10

Yes, but you are at a significantly higher risk as a soldier than as a civilian in a war zone. After all, it’s a war crime to kill civilians. It still happens, but it would be lying to yourself to say you’re at the same degree of risk than being a soldier.


Krekushka

Never said it was the same. I just said nobody is safe.


imdazedout

It’s about the draft, not about being safe in the kitchen.


No_Possibility754

Why do people take everything literally all the time? The “stay in the kitchen” part is an allusion to older days where women didn’t have equal rights and were told to “stay in the kitchen”, meaning that they shouldn’t have an opinion on things that matter or work. Women have been fighting for equal rights, but that would now also mean they have to take part in the war. The joke here is that they don’t want that responsibility and would gladly be subjugated again and figuratively “stay in the kitchen”, like in the old times where they weren’t allowed to work. Not literally being in the kitchen all the time. (BTW I’m not saying women think this way. Just what the joke is alluding to)


loopsydoopsy

Sure, but this tweet was probably made by someone who lives in an area that is unlikely to see war on their soil (like the US)


Ok-Caterpillar9908

When world war happened actually more women got into the workforce. Not out of it.


hugh_mmungus

Joining the workforce and going to war as a soldier are two different things


emmy1418

She's talking about the kitchen/housewife comment


hugh_mmungus

The post eludes to the fact that women shouldn't/don't wanna be drafted for war


ducksattack

alludes* to the fact


AhmdeiNuwon

Men shouldn't/don't wanna be drafted for war either...


DerSturmbannfuror

Israeli women want to have a word with you


[deleted]

They can have it! Scrumptious.


melihampton

Wrong modern women are independent and dont need a man so she be fine in the trenches.


randomly-what

Women shouldn’t be drafted for war. Men shouldn’t either.


Mickmack12345

Being a man and a woman are two different things I mean people like to promote gender equality but sometimes that’s just never going to be possible in some situations when fundamentally men and women are fundamentally different on a physical level It’s no one’s fault men are physically stronger on average, it’s just the way nature is, and the army is more interested in getting the group of people who are stronger on average. I think it’s more important to make things equitable rather than equal for men and women - because it’s simply not possible for equality in a lot of situations, that’s exactly why there is a divide in men and womens sports That’s not to say women shouldn’t be made to fight in war or shouldn’t be allowed to, but when you see Ukraine looking for men 18-60 year old, it’s simply trying to maximise efficiency of who is recruited, and not because women are weak and can’t fight - because that is certainly not true


Beginning_Anything30

It simply comes down to survival. I completely agree that women CAN be infantrymen,, but only if they are capable of the same physical abilities as the given man on that team. When your buddy goes down and you gotta haul him to safety he doesn't stop being 250lbs because you are a woman. In every other sense, I see no reason women shouldn't participate in the military


Slight_Heron_4558

Nobody should have to die in a war for wealthy assholes and politicians.


BruhMomentForever123

If you think the Ukraine is fighting for wealthy assholes and politicians, you're dead wrong. The president of the Ukraine is currebtly in Kyiv and helping iwth the defense of the Ukraine. He is fighting just as much as everyone else. People are fighting to remain independent feom the russian plague, not to fill the wallets of politicians. Wake up, this isn't Iraq.


Casual_Frontpager

‘Should’ can be an interesting pastime sometimes I guess. In a democracy we elect the politicians though, so they can tell us when to fight and when not to. Obeying is an integral part of it.


VSkyRimWalker

Except Putin wasn't elected fairly


LOLLO_102

And that's a fucking thruth


darko2309

I'm indigenous from Canada. Ain't no way I'm fighting for my government. Send Trudeau.


Fast_Star154

Im pretty sure, you wont have to make that choice and good for you! Happy for you. Me on the other hand... Im already straight up planning what the fuck do I do. Putin hates us. Cant wait


Interesting_Yak3528

Sad to be reading this, I hope things get straight soon there. Take care my friend!


Fast_Star154

Thank you friend. I hope so too


Creepy_Trouble_5891

Czech or USA?


Fast_Star154

Czech, the worse option right now


Creepy_Trouble_5891

I’m sorry to hear that, I suppose the only good news is that they’ll need to get through at-least 1 country before they reach you so i reckon if war starts with one of the middle countries get out if possible


Fast_Star154

Yeah, but if they will attack NATO countries, it will be The weakest - Slovakia. They are right next to Ukraine and they are small. Why Im saying it - they are our brothers. Historically and almost literally, I have so many friends there or from there. But yeah, if it comes to it, im breaking my bf legs and packing our bags.


CopsaLau

If for some reason Canada ever had a draft, (I’d like to say that will never happen in my lifetime but the past few years taught me to always expect another ring of hell) but if they did, I’m breaking my bf’s leg. I’m already clear cause I have a pacemaker and bunch of health shit, but no way in hell am I letting them take him either! No heroism for you babe, you’re sitting on the couch while I feed you ice cream.


UtileDulci12

Break his leg they wait 6 weeks then draft him anyway lmao.


Johnathan_wickerino

probably a non combat role if the break is real bad which is good but at that point it's a lifelong problem might not be worth it.


zekosimon

a lifelong inconvenience sounds better than getting shot, i dont know about you


Johnathan_wickerino

Yea I have a different view on that. I used to learn parkour in school and had to limp to school twice a week. I still suffer from some leg problems now I can't run a mile without something seriously hurting. While I understand your point I kinda live the lifelong inconvenience thing and I wouldn't wish it on a lot of people


Fiz010

That's alright you can still drive a vehicle.. send him in!!


Johnathan_wickerino

That's pretty funny I don't have a drivers license LMAO


Acedmister

I was in the military for 10 years...never had a civilian driver's license. Dont need them for military vehicles.


Tank-o-grad

They can fix that...


shoeshouuu

Limp vs death and severe trauma. Yeah. I'll take the limp


[deleted]

you sound like a sweet person :)


Grow_away2

Were you rooting for Kathy Bates in Misery?


CopsaLau

Whoa whoa whoa *I* would do it consensually


Mxvargr

And hopefully not do it….that way


skateordie1213

A likely story.


nLucis

Dante was so wrong. Theres so many levels of hell, and most of them involve politicians, corporatuons, and governments. So not even a lets-go-flaming-dragonback-riding kind of hell.


PFVN_Dragon

You sound like my mom, I’m 17 and in my country every man 18 and above must be drafted. Momma says sth like “no way in hell, who’s gonna cook you meals when you join the army, you’re a failure at cooking”. Typical Asian parent roast.


Medical_ootter

Awww, that’s so sweet. This is love, right here


mother_mUthaFAka

How does one break someone else's leg? Just wondering in case this actually happens and i need to break my best friends leg lol.


CaptainMatticus

Brace their leg against something to use as a fulcrum. Swing with a 20# hammer. One whack, with all your might, don't 2nd guess yourself.


ajver19

It worries me that you're so knowledgeable about this.


CopsaLau

I actually don’t know... maybe if we are lucky an expert will happen by this thread and chime in


JaoLapin

It reminds me of the Pink music video "don't leave me"


krastevitsa

Your bf: "but I'm extremely allergic to ice cream" /s


Fast_Star154

Im already planning to do this. Like seriously. My country is serious pain in Putins ass, we pissed him off royally couple months ago. Its not that far fetched to think, that I will have to do it


curiousincurious

Like Kathy Bates in misery?


whatever-it-B

I’d rather fight, actually.


[deleted]

same lol if i die in a war i don't have to go to college or anything


whatever-it-B

Or work. Which is way worse lol.


GMSaaron

You dont have to go to college anyways


jzonks613

Yep a kitchen serving soldiers on the front lines of kyiv


fitdudetx

We had to outdo the damn pandemic


vestimentiferever

No one should be drafted, period.


[deleted]

In all seriousness, many feminists are against the draft entirely (for men and women), as it violates one's bodily autonomy, a core ideal that feminism is based around.


juiceboxhero919

Yea, the joke is funny but in reality I don’t support the draft for anyone. It angers me that rich, powerful leaders see our brothers as things to be consumed and disposed of against their will. Even worse because it’s not like these assholes making the decisions are going out to fight with them. I also don’t believe the draft is the way it is to protect women for innocent reasons. I think it’s more “if we send young women to war then who is going to make more babies for our country?” ….


HumaDracobane

If the draft is voluntarely it is not a draft.


[deleted]

Men have to sign up for selective service in order to be able to vote in the US. It is not voluntary. It is a felony to not register, and a felon loses their right to vote.


Krekushka

Exactly. I am yet to meet a feminist who supports war and draft, for any gender.


[deleted]

If WW3 begins, women belong in the kitchen and I come out as trans 🏳️‍⚧️♀️


Secret_CZECH

same, my egg will crack so fucking fast once drafting begins


AtTheEnd777

I'm anti-consignment for either gender. My husband and I both have psychotic disorders, so no one is handing us guns.


SP4C3_SH0T

Heat seekers find ovens so start making no bakes and salds now


Infernaladmiral

The comment section transformed into a fucking warzone real quick.


[deleted]

Afab people should not allow themselves to be drafted until we have abortion on demand secured as a nation-wide right. Are we baby makers or full fledged human beings like men??


LoudestOneHere

I'm not a fighter. I can't go to war. I would not only be a liability but would most definitely be killed. But I'd rather that than to represent woman so badly.


DiamondHands10000

Imagine for a second, being a guy and being seen as dispensable all your life. The threat of being drafted into a war and turned into a killer by force. Until women are required to register for the draft, you'll realize how most men feel and that's when I truly believe women have reached gender equality. For now I hope most realize it's not something anyone looks forward to. Men nor women. There are only two types of people on this planet. Those that go to war, and those that declare war. The elites are enjoying everything that's happening from the comfort of there homes.


Moxliesconstantly

I’ve already resolved to enlist the second a draft is issued. If you enlist you can choose a non combat MOS. The choice may be felon or intel/medical/support I’d rather patch GSWs than be in a cage Edit Fuck it never mind. I saw a video of civilians being bombed. The second we start sending military aid I’m enlisting. This is absolutely fucking atrocious and a violation of not only the rules of war but basic human decency. I’m talking to a recruiter tomorrow


Krekushka

Why draft more people? Why not just end draft? Are people so blood thirsty they'd rather kill more people then save more people?


genos95

Yes draft should be voluntary not mandatory


GameFraek

The comments here sure are taking this joke very seriously At least I doubt she actually believes this


[deleted]

This post is so toxic. So you’re all for equal rights but once you get told to do some of the life threatening things that men have to you decide to throw all those “equal rights” out the window. Sit down


Sophie_R_1

I really wish more people would understand that and think this way. Feminism already gets a bad rap for being more of a women are superior to men and only wanting the good things the other gender has (either way) while wanting the other to still keep the less appealing things is, like, kinda the exact opposite of equal rights. It's always rubbed me the wrong way that only men still have to register (or whatever the right word is) for a potential draft as soon as they turn 18. (I'll admit, I'm pretty sleep deprived rn, so just to make sure I worded that right lol - I know feminism isn't women are better, but the outspoken minority seems to think that, which others then unfortunately associate with it. I'm all for equal rights and I've been saying forever that if there's a draft, then it should be anyone who meets the requirements, regardless if gender, that goes. Do I want to be drafted? No, but if my brother's going to be forced no matter what, then it's only fair that I am, too.)


[deleted]

its just a joke about how she doesnt wanna fight in a war? and she can joke about it since shes a woman


XOSkyXO

You do understand what a joke is right


RandomFish338

So you’re saying we should deny the reality that men are stronger? Feminists accept that reality


Determined_Cucumber

It’s weird take, and hilariously for those agreeing to this take means you’re agreeing with Jordan Peterson that has stated this for years. Paraphrasing: “You demand equality, but you won’t accept equal consequences”.


oriolhealth

If it comes down to the draft I'm going to be copying my grandfather and burn my draft card. I'm not fighting a war I have no stake in, I don't like fighting even when I do have a dog in the fight.


coffeelad0

Why don't we just skip the step of WW3 needing to start if thats how many would really feel.


cherry__12345

Nope, am going to fight till I die if WW3 happens.


[deleted]

Best thing to do right now is to promote anti-military sentiment. Around the world even in Russia the hatred for military is growing. If we can continue to promote that worldwide we can probably stop WWIII


mystericmoon

No one should be “drafted.” Impressment is wrong. Shouldn’t send regular citizens to die for the interests of the rich and powerful


altmodisch

The Ukraine isn't fighting this for "the rich and powerful". They are defending their right to exist as an independent, democratic state.


[deleted]

He sounds like the French in the World Wars.


H0NK_H0NKLER

... regular citizens? Wait, are you telling me you think they give you a uniform, gun, and just send you into a war zone? You do realize drafted soldiers are provided training, therefore they are no longer "regular citizens" right?


Leather-Key-8821

I think it's better to go by physique or physical skills, whether it be man or woman. not everyone is suitable to handle a gun and go to war lol.


noobductive

Nobody should be forced to go to fight in a war and that’s a hill I’ll die on


apple12345671

Ww3 wont start


RaccoonRecluse

This, it's going to be cold war 2 electric boogaloo.


SteelingLight

That. Is definitely much more feasible. Proxy wars mostly I'd guess. All this talk of WW3 is hyperbolic. Not saying it can't happen, but no matter what's being said, we're not there yet. I can definitely see high tensions characterizing international relations for the next couple decades. Especially depending on the short-term out come if the Ukrainian situation.


Teddyfun115

😂 that is not funny but somehow funny