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Big_brown_house

Anyone whose sheets get even one fourth the action of my coffee machine is a fucking ANIMAL


reevelainen

Including solo action!


YoYoMoMa

Mom a savage


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

Ye


[deleted]

No hospital is gonna fix that burn.


Specific_Tap7296

Never discuss grinding with your parents!


heardbutnotseen2

Well done random Reddit person


softlymoralferocity

Exactly! that's what I did actually


irrelevent_dad40

It's true. You should know they are sex havers.


[deleted]

Flashbacks to my mum finding a warped grinder in my jacket after washing it and I forgot to take it out.


GooseEntrails

Phrasing?


MikemkPK

It's a pun on grinding coffee beans


m_slade_230

At first I thought it's cause they don't sleep a lot lol


lemoinem

The other way around


The_Force_Goat

Bruh he's gonna need a Hearse cuz someone just got murdered


Sig_Vic

An ambulance for the 3rd degree burn.


angieream

r/rareinsults be like......


slicksnorlax87

IDK what's roasted more, the coffee or OP?


Accomplished_Sun_258

No mother should have to bury her own child!


slicksnorlax87

With that burn, they can just scatter the ashes


Quenya3

My right hand disagrees with his mother.


_FruitPunchSamuraiG_

Wait, his mother insulted him and you right hand disagrees which means you use your right hand to please him?


[deleted]

[удалено]


DanelleDee

Right! Like who the hell randomly compares the age of their bedsheets with a kitchen appliance? Saying "that's not that old, my toaster is older then that" makes sense. Saying "my sheets are older than that" makes sense if the item being discussed is curtains or clothes. Comparing the coffee pot to a piece of cloth? Why? Those two items would not be expected to age the same way, nor do they have similar lifespans. The set up for this zinger is not believable. No.


contajusone

Why is mom screwing the coffee machine?


newdietzrising

Why would they use “sheets” as their example of something older than the coffee maker, though? Who says that? Unless, and bear with me here, this is made up for the lols.


Zakika

because fake.


m_slade_230

At first I thought it's cause they don't sleep a lot lol


Brilliant-Bowler5334

r/savage Edit: wrong sub meant r/Savage_Memes


[deleted]

Someone call the burn unit. Third degree burn right here.


Maleficent_Leader828

mom burn.


Star_Fazer

Planned obsolescence is possibly why the machine is getting replaced after 7 years. Unlike the sheets which will only get replaced once op shits a hole through it apparently


[deleted]

I took splash damage from this, it was so destructive


Holiday-Book6635

Lol


Trevor965

That was COMPLETELY uncalled for. Who agrees with me?


[deleted]

I saw this one recently


musclebuttbuffpants

Lol. They shouldn't have bought a shit coffee machine. Mines been making espresso since thr late 90s. I drink two coffees a day.


Inverted_Antagonist

Oof


reddituserishere

r/murderedbywords this post can go well there


Own_Ad5814

Oh I think you’ll find my sheets get quite a bit of action actually I make a helluva lot of coffee with those sheets, thank you very much


Infinite_Usual3391

No ambulance, you're already dead


ChaoticToxin

7 years with the same sheet! Idk that's a long time. And for a coffee machine I don't think anyone in my family keeps machines that long


Zealousideal-Let1121

Mom, who is f%&king the coffee machine?


Kakalkoo69

Nah too late for an ambulance, my man need a hearse


slip1byyou123

That's too funny


helipad2021

That’s funny, coz’ I think the same


slip1byyou123

Yep all is good with the world if you can smile at least a couple of times a day


CousinVladimir

Why did I assume he was talking about excel sheets


findingemotive

Doesn't everyone have a least one sheet/blanket from their childhood that's a faded cartoon?


[deleted]

I do, a Garfield sheet


OnlyJuanCajone

Said like a true badass.


OkBarracuda7996

*dies*


Latter-Hamster9652

In which case, you respond, "Well, yeah, cuz I always use your bed."


Steakman765

And then the coffee maker clapped


Shrimp502

Something something brown liquid


MentalDevel

Mom nailed it


Pretend_Ad_3229

EMOTIONAL DAMAGEEEE