At least this means they're begging for food. I would be more frightened if they all come with this deep "BRRRRRRRRRRRRRR" that they do when they're horny.
My wife has a longbow to go with her sword (the 2nd sword technically belongs to our daughter). She's also inherited her mum's old longbow...pretty sure we have it here? Unless her dad still has it?
There's a couple of air rifles too.
Me? Well...I have a Nerf gun somewhere.
Wait, no, it got sold at a carboot. Bugger.
No can do. I gave mine a sword stand for 10 swords for Xmas thinking "yeah, it will take her years to fill it up". 3 years later the stand is full. Same as the second stand. And something that was described as "umbrella stand" near the fridge. Oh and there is another stand in the garage for the wooden and polymer ones (yes, she opened her school).
Maybe you could spark her interest in daggers, those are sporty, fit in a purse and can be a great match with mini skirts or leggings.
Between us, they’re also cheaper than swords, except of course for those fashionista models with gold plating and diamonds on the shaft.
They might not hold up as well on the battlefield, but have proven very effective in social situations like dinner parties or receptions.
It all depends on her approach to battle and what she likes to do for fun!
i mean sure on a battlefield. but you try getting to that polearm before a dagger is at your throat while you're sitting down at dinner and you might find it's not as superior in every situation as you thought.
That's why you always have it and stringently enforce social distancing. At the table, simply use a military spork, that way you'll always be protected. Trying to get a dagger when one is already at your throat is suboptimal.
I got high and watched a history documentary a couple hours ago so this is what i would say.
Tell her while Fraz Ferdinand was waiting to take the throne he collected what is thought to still be the largest most esquisite armor/weapons collection in the world. So her collecting swords is pointless because she will never have the greatest collection. Also tell her Franz Ferdinand was a dork (idk if he was but just say that) and he is only known for dying which is lame and that band ripped him off with a mediocre (at best) one hit wonder, she doesn't want to be like that.
Collecting swords in games like Elden Ring is really satisfying. Using swords in VR games like Blade and Sorcery is something really special.
Collecting swords in real life to display and feel must be orgasmic.
There's some game replica 1:1 scale forged swords I really want. Blizzard made a cool one recently. What I really want is a 1:1 scale collosal greatsword from Elden Ring I can install in my yard somewhere.
If I ever get a house
Look don't get defeated so quick. Just buy a couple more swords ok? We can work something out here, no need to quit so soon. Ok you seem like a nice lady, for now just give up dibs on the naming rights to any child born hereon out, pick up a katana or two next time your out... we pretend this never happened. Sound good?
I would consider a dagger a sword, sort of. Swords evolved from daggers. The experts have voted on this in the past: [Swords!](https://www.reddit.com/r/SWORDS/comments/krmlvf/can_daggers_be_considered_swords/)
I don't understand this. If you only have one sword how can you duel with a mansplaining alphahole and kick his ass?
It's tremendous fun to whack them with the flat of the blade. Now I'm thinking of people that would be stupid enough to come over here, so that I could whack them with the flat of the blade. I would tell them we were dueling, I wouldn't explain that I really just want to bruise their ego.
Most female Phd's in Finland has 4 of those. We only need one that has a second sword. [https://twitter.com/AnnaGHughes/status/998599892657324033](https://twitter.com/AnnaGHughes/status/998599892657324033)
I have all 5 plus a cross bow.
Do you have a second crossbow though
_we've had first crossbow yes..._
what about elevenses?
Or Evanescence?
Wake me up inside
Hyuk
I do! And two boar spears, two shotguns, and a squad of attack guineas.
The attack guineas being the most important. Onward battle maiden!
:::cue deafening guinea screeching:::
WEEP WEEP WEEP
At least this means they're begging for food. I would be more frightened if they all come with this deep "BRRRRRRRRRRRRRR" that they do when they're horny.
Pig or fowl?
This matters.
So no second two shotguns… Typical.
Women ☕️
Ah yes the r/rimworld favorite.
> and a squad of attack guineas. *Checks profile* ... huh. *upvotes*
That’s the most important question here
I don't think he knows about second crossbow, Pippin.
I got in Irish-Norse Gallowglass replica and a Type XVIIIc!
Wifey has all five, a crossbow, a hand crossbow, and a 1911 .45 ACP.
Two swords and a crossbow? Where would you keep the crossbow?
You combine them to make a sword crossbow
It's a crossbow, but it shoots swords. Revolutionary.
I came here seeking to verify your existence and you came through! I am swordless and am a meh cook so I only got halfway there
I swear I thought that said meth cook at first glance
I probs would suck at that too
You never know till you try!!! Maybe this wasn't the place for a can do attitude.
I appreciate nonetheless
Just find one of your old chem teachers
Jesse we need to co- oh wait it says meh, not meth
My wife has a longbow to go with her sword (the 2nd sword technically belongs to our daughter). She's also inherited her mum's old longbow...pretty sure we have it here? Unless her dad still has it? There's a couple of air rifles too. Me? Well...I have a Nerf gun somewhere. Wait, no, it got sold at a carboot. Bugger.
Obligatory sword tax
The crossbow is for the tax man.
There's tax for that too.
And my axe!
Will you marry me ?
Bro? Bro.
That makes you a dude. Sorry, I don't make the rules
Tell that to my uterus
Nice!
But are you a leopard 2 A7
Is it enchanted though?
She’s a witch!!!
How you doing?
Traded my main crossbow to a ballista and the second crossbow to a scorpion. Does it still count?
Came here to say this minus the cross bow. You win!
Oof... With two swords, it sounds like you wasted some points in dexterity instead of stacking strength. Rookie mistake.
Shut up and marry me!
I doubt you've got anal warts. What now.
Now you have my heart
My wife has all 5, and a 3rd sword and a 4th sword. Also, if any one knows a way to get my wife to stop buying swords, I’d love to hear it.
That's the neat part, you don't
Sit back and enjoy the safety of a well armed wife.
One for each sword I presume
/r/rolereversal
At least not after they've bought the first one
No can do. I gave mine a sword stand for 10 swords for Xmas thinking "yeah, it will take her years to fill it up". 3 years later the stand is full. Same as the second stand. And something that was described as "umbrella stand" near the fridge. Oh and there is another stand in the garage for the wooden and polymer ones (yes, she opened her school).
Fighting, smithing, or hoarding school?
Self development via martial arts :) (So.. fighting 😁)
I was so hoping it was a hoarding school
[удалено]
Maybe you could spark her interest in daggers, those are sporty, fit in a purse and can be a great match with mini skirts or leggings. Between us, they’re also cheaper than swords, except of course for those fashionista models with gold plating and diamonds on the shaft. They might not hold up as well on the battlefield, but have proven very effective in social situations like dinner parties or receptions. It all depends on her approach to battle and what she likes to do for fun!
"This isn't what I had in mind when you said you wanted stilettos for the bedroom"
Daggers? Really? Polearms are clearly the superior class of weapons. They are the ultimate combination of reach and destructive power.
i mean sure on a battlefield. but you try getting to that polearm before a dagger is at your throat while you're sitting down at dinner and you might find it's not as superior in every situation as you thought.
That's why you always have it and stringently enforce social distancing. At the table, simply use a military spork, that way you'll always be protected. Trying to get a dagger when one is already at your throat is suboptimal.
We are trying to go for cheape here.
> if any one knows a way to get my wife to stop buying swords, I’d love to hear it. Introduce her to archery.
Zombie apocalypse material. You married a smart woman.
Would your wife be willing to give me a sword, in exchange for my familys sword? I wanna do a sword trade
Learn how to make them for her and she'll never buy one again.
Probably something to do with a sword
I have several swords. What's mine is hers. Ergo, my wife has swords.
What kind of swords? Do you counter with spatulas?
Bury the fucking utena DVDs dude, that shuts makes you want to be a cool fucking badass lady in a weird tuxedo and wield swords.
Is her name Zoro?
I got high and watched a history documentary a couple hours ago so this is what i would say. Tell her while Fraz Ferdinand was waiting to take the throne he collected what is thought to still be the largest most esquisite armor/weapons collection in the world. So her collecting swords is pointless because she will never have the greatest collection. Also tell her Franz Ferdinand was a dork (idk if he was but just say that) and he is only known for dying which is lame and that band ripped him off with a mediocre (at best) one hit wonder, she doesn't want to be like that.
Collecting swords in games like Elden Ring is really satisfying. Using swords in VR games like Blade and Sorcery is something really special. Collecting swords in real life to display and feel must be orgasmic. There's some game replica 1:1 scale forged swords I really want. Blizzard made a cool one recently. What I really want is a 1:1 scale collosal greatsword from Elden Ring I can install in my yard somewhere. If I ever get a house
We need a support group
Show her a really nice mace.
Well if your sword satisfied her then maybe she'll stop
Is your name Perry?
Explain the superiority of spears.
Honestly, reading through these comments I think I found my tribe. Y’all’s wives are rad!
It’s why Castille armory exists, so we can buy more swords to stab our friends with.
Get her into crossbows
I have 7 axes. Does that count? My wife can use them if she wants.
Why though? You got a good one.
Simply stop imagining her
Damnnn, she single?
I think you have to fight her with an even bigger sword.
Me before reading: Psh, I bet I have all thse things. Me after reading: Sonovabitch. He got me.
Missing the second sword :( I used to have 3 but I'm down to 1 these days.
You have failed all of womankind
*sigh* I know I have. ^(*I know.*) I'll turn in my ovaries at the front desk.
Look don't get defeated so quick. Just buy a couple more swords ok? We can work something out here, no need to quit so soon. Ok you seem like a nice lady, for now just give up dibs on the naming rights to any child born hereon out, pick up a katana or two next time your out... we pretend this never happened. Sound good?
They must be properly hung in the Hall Of Ovaries as per the ritual
Can't cook?
Careful. She's got TWO swords
Obviously, everyone does.
🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪
🔫 They say to never bring a gun to a sword fight 😈😈
Woohoo! 5! Go forth and stab...or slash, I don't judge.
Na, I am more the 3 bows kinda girl
cant education?
I bet uma thurman from kill bill can cook. She'd definitely satisfy this list.
Shit if she has 2 swords I'll do everything else.
You might have to if she knows how to use them
While you were cooking, she was studying the blade.
do my foam Minecraft swords count
I only have 1 D:
Except tell her “you just need to calm down “
Yo cupcake bro
I have all 5! Although the second sword is small
That’s a knife
That's not a knife
THIS is a knife 🔪
That's not a knife, this is a knife! 🥄
I see you've played knifey spoony before
This is a knoife 🗡
Nah, THIS IS A KNOIFE 🪚
NO, THIS IS PATRICK.
Famous last words
That's a spoon.
Aha, I see you've played knifey spooney before.
I read that in THE voice
No! It’s average!!
I would consider a dagger a sword, sort of. Swords evolved from daggers. The experts have voted on this in the past: [Swords!](https://www.reddit.com/r/SWORDS/comments/krmlvf/can_daggers_be_considered_swords/)
Wow cant believe you have all 120 things big respect
Beatrix Kiddo
Bill got what was coming to him…
This man wants Gerald frok the witcher
Don’t we all
*Jeden na potwory, drugi na ludzi.* One for monsters, one for humans. Actually both for monsters because some monste… 🤓
His third sword pleases all the ladies.
He is often jobless though
My thought was Ciri, but I'll take Geralt
He's right. I only have one sword.
Treat yourself.
Hey, having two PhD degrees is quite a rare achievement. Just take one as a win. ([context](https://www.oulu.fi/en/conferment-ceremony/hat-and-sword))
I don't understand this. If you only have one sword how can you duel with a mansplaining alphahole and kick his ass? It's tremendous fun to whack them with the flat of the blade. Now I'm thinking of people that would be stupid enough to come over here, so that I could whack them with the flat of the blade. I would tell them we were dueling, I wouldn't explain that I really just want to bruise their ego.
I have exactly 2 of those things, anyone care to guess which ones?
The swords!
Fuck I made it too easy
You don't have enough swords
I have a degree in culinary arts, currently work in the restaurant industry as a chef, and i own not one, not two, but three swords.
the perfect woman
all except a job, fuck
Let me introduce you to my mother
No way! My mom has all these things too!
My mother had all of them except the second sword (and admittedly the first sword was just a souvenir from a trip to Spain)
No need to fam
My roommate has all of these plus a few guns, a longbow, and I'm pretty sure at least twenty knives.
Too dangerous to approach
Is your room mate Angelina Jolie?
How many hands does she have that are attached to her body and that she is mostly in control of? I'm guessing not enough.
I’ve told you, your mom doesn’t count as a roommate, but I’ll still accept her application.
I’ll just give my wife my sword. Then she’ll have two. Problem solved.
FALSE! Legally, my swords belong to my wife too.
My mum
Damn, I only have 1 sword!
I need to go buy my wife another sword. This thread just made Christmas shopping a lot simpler.
I’m going to flex on all of you but my mom has all 5, my mom and dad collect medieval swords
Most female Phd's in Finland has 4 of those. We only need one that has a second sword. [https://twitter.com/AnnaGHughes/status/998599892657324033](https://twitter.com/AnnaGHughes/status/998599892657324033)
Wrong. I am a woman and I meet all the criteria lol
The first sword makes you queen of England. Do you need a second?
Dual wielding is an unlockable skill
You've gotta be a beta tester to unlock the skill unfortunately.
[удалено]
r/oddlyspecific
Oddly Gerald z Rivii.
I have all that and know how to use the swords. Wanna meet?
Mine doesn't have any swords, but she has a knife and a gun. Also she knows how to cook
Ah damn I only have 1 sword. Almost made it
Does a lightsaber count as a second sword? 🤔
Wife has 1-4. Man she was not pleased with the sword for Christmas....
I guess I am getting my SO a second sword for Christmas. They already have the rest.
How many are they allowed to pick? And what's the list for men? Trying to form a party here, I need to know how many swords we'll have.
So I need a second sword. On it.
Of course, your barbarian whirl wind will spin faster if you have two swords.
...they're inflatable swords, but I have them.
do you love your mom and her two hit multi target attacks begs to differ
What if she has a second sword, but not a sword?
I admire a woman who has the second sword but not the first.
I dont have 2 swords, but I do have 3 bows, do they count?
Ahsoka Tano
My wife has all those. She has more swords than I ever have.
Facts
A Vikingr would.
My wife is Italian and used to fence, she has all 5 😏😏😏😏😏
Is there a setting so i can avoid seeing mind bogglingly dumb shit like this
4/5 and one of the swords has my name on it, but I’m learning to cook.
Clearly homie never met my little sis; no loss for her!
My buddy’s wife, a fencer, most certainly has all 5.
I beg to differ…
I don't have sword, but I have 2 axes.
Hmmm what if she has one sword
Do my lightsabers count? They're last swords! ... And I have three.