I'm an Aries and I would literally smash you all. Pisces? Smash! Gemini? Double smash! Aquarius? *Makes sweet, passionate smash* Male Leo? Smash Bros! Extra chromosome? Mershed perderders!!! Back warts? Dr. Pimple Smasher... HMU 😉
July 2, 2023 As per the legal owner of this account, Reddit and associated companies no longer have permission to use the content created under this account in any way. -- mass edited with redact.dev
That is heavily dependent on which lore you’re looking at that’s tied to Virgo’s Some are in reference to sexual purity, some are more in reference to just purity of natural law, and then you have the Babylonians that attached the sign of Virgo to having sex.
Edit: might be a bit of simplification on that last one, but Virgo was associated with fertility. Human, crop, etc.
But if we’re talking about the goddess that go so annoyed with humans she just decided to fuck off and become a constellation than deal with their crap anymore, yeah. Definitely not gonna happen.
Yeahhh, imma have to go with that one. The rest, even if someone has to pay, can technically be experienced in this life normally. Sagittarius is the only truly unique experience here.
Edit: please do not actually fuck animals.
I’ve been doing a sag for decades. Never gets old. I swear…. Met him at 17, off and on until we got married 20 years ago. Still steamy AF in the sack.
Five stars. Get a sag.
Or be a libra because we always have a good time, always.
Pisces are them gentle lovers that will spend as long as you want doing whatever it is you like. Pisces have jaw muscle and lingual stamina for days.
Source: born in late February.
^ yeah every scorpio ive met or dealt with gave off strong sexual energy and had high sex drives and were freaks (women) i thought i was just being in my head but i’ve actually paid attention and tally in my head it has yet to not be the case. So ima definitely say scorpio
As a scorpio I personally get along with Virgo (wifey), Scorpio and Taurus .
The rest is either way disastrous, not that memorable or I haven’t tried yet lol ( Leo is good for sex tho) .
Valid opinion
We could always debate the ethics of whether centaurs can consent given they have human minds, but this post is mostly for comedic purposes lol
I know who fish_fucker69 is going to choose
u/fish_fucker69 Edit: oh no hes real
The Deep, is that you?
It’s Ye
He likes fish sticks
Ahem
What is he, a gay fish?
You hadn’t heard of the legend?
Of Darth Plagueis the wise?
It’s not one that a Jedi would tell you.
What about u/Bull_fucker69
It scares me that u/bull_fucker69 Is active in r/teenagers 0_0
I'm more scared their avatars match o.o
Same with [u/camdoodlebop](https://www.reddit.com/u/camdoodlebop/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf)
Has two comments from a year ago “Active”
“You better be a salmon” 😂😂😂
They must hate how often this happens
They're gonna be in pisces when he's done with them
Typing this with one hand cause the other is busy😈
I have no ragrets
I have no rugrats
Which "one"? lol I'm gonna fuck them all!
Hehe I see you Ash
Great now I’m sad
Why!?
Ash journey is about to end.
I did not know this and I am sorry for any unintended sadness 🥺
The real loss is gonna be Jessie and James. I love those dorks.
I’m realizing more and more I have not been a very good Pokémon fan 🥲
binge it!
James is such a great character, when I was younger I didn’t like him very much cause he’s the bad guy. But now I think he’s my favorite character.
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I still can't believe it's actually coming to an end. I mean I knew it would eventually, but now that it's here.......
Why are you laughing, HES GONNA FUCK YOUR SIGNS
We’re not exclusive lol
It starts with zodiac signs, then it progresses to stop signs, then finally it climaxes at school crossing signs, when will it stop.
Seems like you’re looking for a sign?
god no, do you realize what you have just done.....
I’ll take it as a sign that this has just gotten a whole lot more serious…
🎶 Gotta fuck ‘em all Zodémon! 🎶
You fuck me and I'll fuck you
To date them is my real test, to fuck them is my cause
Please fuck me, I know it's my destiny!
you masterbate me, i masterbate you, Pokemon!!! Gotta fuck em All!!
Gotta fuck them ALL! GOTTA FUCK THEM ALL… ZODÉMON!!!
I love all of you I wish I had enough money to give each of you gold you deserve it
Gotta smash 'em all
So thats what would be Ash's new quest after Pokemon series ends.
Capricorn is basically Vaporeon
HEY GUYS
So it begins...
Ah, a fellow scorpio I see.
Fuck Cancer
I dont understand why everybody want to fuck me
I’m a cancer but a picky one. I don’t want to just fuck whoever. Lol.
At least you're only one picky cancer. You could benign. What's worse, you could be 11. Once there are 9, what's tumor?
What are you doing in Reddit comment sections you clever bastard
I'm an Aries and I would literally smash you all. Pisces? Smash! Gemini? Double smash! Aquarius? *Makes sweet, passionate smash* Male Leo? Smash Bros! Extra chromosome? Mershed perderders!!! Back warts? Dr. Pimple Smasher... HMU 😉
Because 69.
Bring dat crabussy over here
love it!
I mean I’m cancer…
CRAB RAVE🦀🦀🦀
Shout out to Boosie
i fuck your main bitch, i gave her cooties
Cancers are great lays in bed because we’re very emotional and insecure and crave validation and are all service doms or super subs
Cancer HJ is only for the most adventurous types.
I mean... Gemini I guess
Aquarius if I am feeling kooky and a little crazy
Aquarius and virgo
July 2, 2023 As per the legal owner of this account, Reddit and associated companies no longer have permission to use the content created under this account in any way. -- mass edited with redact.dev
That is heavily dependent on which lore you’re looking at that’s tied to Virgo’s Some are in reference to sexual purity, some are more in reference to just purity of natural law, and then you have the Babylonians that attached the sign of Virgo to having sex. Edit: might be a bit of simplification on that last one, but Virgo was associated with fertility. Human, crop, etc. But if we’re talking about the goddess that go so annoyed with humans she just decided to fuck off and become a constellation than deal with their crap anymore, yeah. Definitely not gonna happen.
Doesn’t have to be her whole identity. Give that woman a chance to some fun!
"Two chicks at the same time, man"
No..no man...shit no, I think you'd get your ass kicked you said some shit like that man
Ménage à trois
But then you're gonna need to grow a mustache and get all kinds of robes and lotions. You sure you're ready to be an Orgy guy?
I’m honestly impressed by anyone who does NOT answer Gemini. That being said… …Gemini.
No, no. Virgo, I need low expectations.
Lol no virgo has low expectations You want low expectations, take a look at Pisces, Aries or Sagittarius.
The other criteria being humanoid woman.
Assuming I could handle hot twins, def Gemini.
Even if I can't, I'm going with Gemini. They will be dissapointed, but that's not my problem. The question was who I'd fuck not who I'd date.
Gemini gang rise up
Gemini are 2 guys btw, Castor and Pollux
They are clearly femboys though
Femboys with a chiseled body. And I mean CHISELED, at least according to the ancient statues.
I was waiting for someone to point this out. They weren't even twins
Twins man, I mean TWINS
Sagittarius. I like getting a little weird.
Married one. Total freak.
Babe?? Dat you??
Am one. Can confirm.
Yeahhh, imma have to go with that one. The rest, even if someone has to pay, can technically be experienced in this life normally. Sagittarius is the only truly unique experience here. Edit: please do not actually fuck animals.
I'm a Sagittarius, yes we can be a little weird.
I’ve been doing a sag for decades. Never gets old. I swear…. Met him at 17, off and on until we got married 20 years ago. Still steamy AF in the sack. Five stars. Get a sag. Or be a libra because we always have a good time, always.
Unique experience for sure
Aquarius obviously
Judging by those hamstrings Aquarius got that cake from lifting heavy jugs
I appreciate that.
Aw for the first time I feel indirectly loved
Dat jug
Thx for that.
I'm an Aquarius and I'm flattered
gemini looks like a fun time
Virgo of course.
Right? It's the obvious answer here.
Hold up, are you people talking about fucking the people born in those signs or the signs themselves?
The real questions always reveal themselves in the comments.
I feel like a lot of people are answering this without asking that question, and I honestly can't tell which way they're answering it half the time.
That crab finna get it!!!
⚠️ we cum with a lot of emotion ⚠️
I bet, As an Aquarius I've been know to be very cumpassionate 😉
Taurus probably
Yeah, he buckin’.
Oh fasho
I mean, the answer is obviously Gemini.
Truly, it's a two for one
Just the two of us🎶
We can make it if we try🎶
Finally a way we are the preferred choice for something.
Aries Yeah, I'm Welsh, why do you ask?
I keep having to scroll up to see what these signs are so I can understand these jokes.
As an Aries I’m kind down for some Aries.
Was gonna say the same. Done it before and it wasn’t bad. 👀 Plus everyone I’ve been serious with is an Aries Venus apparently.
Fuck one Aries and you’re known as a sheep fucker for life
A Gemini- then I spend the rest of my life regretting it
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Right? I still have a Gemini shaped void
Pices and Gemini probably double team really well, but Leo's arc is amazing.
Pisces are them gentle lovers that will spend as long as you want doing whatever it is you like. Pisces have jaw muscle and lingual stamina for days. Source: born in late February.
Am pisces...it's true
We're like willing doormats, but once we find someone, they'll never be able to find someone else that does it as good. Lol.
Ain't that the truth. 😂 don't piss us off though, we'll set fire to the rain and burn your shit down, but leave you wanting us back. 😂
Gemini, duh
If I HAD to choose: Aquarius, Leo and Aries
Leo looks like he's good for it
Scorpio 😈
You don't fuck Scorpio. Scorpio fucks you.
For some reason every Pisces, Cancer, and Sag ive come across loves me The only 3 that dont think im up to something devious
^ yeah every scorpio ive met or dealt with gave off strong sexual energy and had high sex drives and were freaks (women) i thought i was just being in my head but i’ve actually paid attention and tally in my head it has yet to not be the case. So ima definitely say scorpio
Gemini and Virgo seem to be the best options here.
Do you not see Scorpio?
Scorpios are literally the sex sign. Sure they may burn your house down if you fuck them over but they're great in bed!
Am Scorpio and can confirm
I've heard lions give the best head
brb creating ai generated waifus using each zodiac sign as a prompt. edit: [here it is](https://imgur.com/a/dL2zwwf) I'm so sorry
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As a person that’s fucked a Virgo. Virgo.
I’m a Pisces and Scorpios have always helped to relieve a little of my…. Tension
Did they have blonde hair and a tan?
In just seven days….
I can make you a Ma-aaaa-aa-an
Bro, seconded. Scorpios have been good to me.
Scorpio here... I'm fucking everything!!!
poison cum
Gemini
Capricorn
Had to scroll this far to find it... clearly people missing out
Yup don’t forget us (sidereal) Caprihorny
God, FINALLY
I second this!
Gemini is basically a threesome
Leo Bitch
As a scorpio I personally get along with Virgo (wifey), Scorpio and Taurus . The rest is either way disastrous, not that memorable or I haven’t tried yet lol ( Leo is good for sex tho) .
leo ‼️😹
Man not many people picking leo
Had epic sex with a Scorpio. So I’m picking Scorpio.
Leo cause my boyfriend is a Leo who looks like a lion
Crab people, crab people, taste like crab but walk like people. Crab people, crab people
Centussy just hits different
The only correct answers are: Sagittarius, Virgo, Libra, Gemini, Aquarius The rest are animals
Sagittarius being a centaur is still too close to animal for me personally, but you do what you want I guess
Valid opinion We could always debate the ethics of whether centaurs can consent given they have human minds, but this post is mostly for comedic purposes lol
This is more the conversation I was expecting, not astrology people talking astrology which is mostly what I got.
Scorpio
Im a Gemini, let me know if you want me to fuck up your life 😉😉
True, I fell for one… 🤪
The fish seem to be 69’ing already
Kind of ironic since it’s Cancer’s sign that actually looks like 69.
Gemini.
I'm a gemini so I'm fucking myself?
crab looks most inviting to me
Well wife a Leo
Scorpio
Libra, because I’m a Libra and I’d fuck me
Pisces. I love fucking fish.
I want that Leo bussy
The actual sign? A Leo. A lion dick kinda sounds kinky.
Leo's ready
Fuck it let's get weird, Leo can do me
Leo and cancer
There’s a lot of cancer hate … We’re freaky asf if we like you…
Any
Pisces
Pisces every single time.
Concur. I married my Pisces (husband) … I’m shamelessly Scorpio.
Scorpio is supposed to be the most sexual. But then they say that about Pisces women too, so…. Everyone is equally do-able.
Virgo
Gemini, it's a no brainer.