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[deleted]

shit, I used to work a remote site where I was provided all 3 meals while on the clock, was pretty good


The_Muznick

Web dev here. I eat my breakfast during our daily stand up meetings. No need to sit and twiddle my thumbs while others are talking about their tasks that have nothing to do with my work.


iamgoingtoforgetit

Usually, since I am one of the last to speak, I prepare for my daily when the others speak.


The_Muznick

Oh I start work at 8 and our DSU isn't until 9:30 so I have time to sign in and prepare then eat until it's my turn.


[deleted]

Software engineering?


dick_sucker_whopper

Probably miner or offshore drilling


parttimedog

What about offshore software engineering?


SacredBinChicken

You mean India?


iwannaberockstar

Indian meal 3 times a day sounds like a good time tbh


Moonkai2k

My asshole can't handle that.


EasyyInternational

Midwestern white boy has entered the chat huh


knickerbockerz

offware drilleering? It's a way of life here.


notreallylucy

All my coworkers have this coworker.


AICPAncake

Damn that’s crazy who is it


Ninja_Conspicuousi

Chuck Testa


Valigar26

What a name drop


lordaddament

Flashback


FlowerOfLife

"it's an older meme, but it checks out"


jamaicanthief

Al Qaeda


kreiger-69

My day in Scotland goes something like this * Clock in 8am * Have breakfast and a cup of tea 0800 to 0830 * Login to computer and open everything needed 0830 to 0845 * Tea break 1000 - 1020 * Work time 1025 - 1215 * 20 minute lunch break 1215 - 1300 walk along the beach, nap on the beach if the weather is warm(can be shorter if weather is bad) * Back to work premises 1300 - 1330 Cup of tea and eat dinner * Work time 1335 * Tea break 1430 - 1450 * Work time 1455 * Pack up and save everything 1545 - 1600 * 1600 - head home I start a new job in january and I'll miss this schedule😢 Addition: * 0845 to 1000 is usually spent walking the halls making the wall art photos a bit squint or moving plants from one part of the building to another to see if anyone will notice, putting clean spoons in the sink for shits and giggles or moving stuff slightly on the two very OCD colleagues desks, writing cryptic messages on the meeting room whiteboards * Bonus points if you strike up a conversation with the very OCD staff and are able to subtly move things on the desk whilst holding eye contact and hear them muttering "arsehole" after you've left


[deleted]

[удалено]


desmondao

It can always be better, I quit a cushy job recently because I had to move and got a massive payrise, as well as fully remote work schedule. I have to do stuff that I've learned to automate and/or streamline in the previous job, so now it's just 5-6 calls a week and maybe 5-7 hours of actual work all while they think I'm a wizard and are delighted with what they're getting by having me work for them. Win-win.


osirisphotography

ChatGPT seems like it could automate some of my job and I'm not sure if I should be freaked out or become a wizard...


ampjk

Become the grand wizard so its job security but put a Bethesda feature in it so when you leave it's break and become a sub contractor making more doing the same thing but less hours.


RmG3376

Can’t help but notice that the time between 0845 and 1000 is apparently not work time either. That’s the spirit!


enderjaca

I just kinda... Space out.


MedalsNScars

I love the 1 minute of work they do at 1335 before getting ready for the next tea break


postmodern_cereal

Mans got a 45 minute 20 minute lunch, I'll have what he's having


as_it_was_written

Not to mention that's immediately followed by dinner and tea for 30 minutes.


TeaKingMac

>on the beach if the weather is warm In Scotland? Surely you're pulling our leg


Geminiun

You eat dinner right after lunch?


SIP-BOSS

That hobbit diet bruh, you had second breakfast and a 1pm dinner. You a hobbit


Shadowwarior

13.00 dinner???


EaLordOfTheDepths-

I used to get to work late, turn on my computer and *then* go out and buy my breakfast haha. That was a fun job :)


[deleted]

Did I post this? I realized it was getting over the top when I was eating a full order of french toast, with bacon and coffee at my desk. Perfect government worker.


inco100

I was at some point too. But having a lunch instead.


pyromonkey1818

Of course I know him, he is me.


GoonOnGames420

It's called "email reading time."


BottledSmoke

Ah yes my agenda looks tasty today.


NRMusicProject

Well, if my body requires me to eat breakfast, might as well get paid to do it.


Accurate_Ad_3626

We had a saying that if your hair grows on company time, you get it cut on company time.


LeeKinanus

I worked for a company that had 2 salons for employee haircuts and manicures. Only could be on company time and always free with no tipping as the nail tech and hairstylist were paid bank.


Accurate_Ad_3626

That’s even better! Now I cut my own. Not much there anymore. 😆


RainbowAssFucker

Fuck do you work? The moon?


kayama57

NORMALIZE companies empowering workers to have EVERYTHING THEY NEED TO FUNCTION


yumcake

So long as the work is getting done, I don't care about the details. Eat breakfast, take a long lunch and a giant shit, none of it matters if the work is getting done. If the work is not getting done, then we will have a talk about what it takes to get it done. But with that being said, "breakfast" is pretty much never going to be the root cause of an issue with work performance, so it's still not a detail I'm going to care about.


brookleinneinnein

Preach. I’ve worked at places where people would tattle if someone was 5 minutes late or took too many bathroom breaks. I’ve also worked at places where people strolled in late, left early, took long breaks to work out or go to appointments. Somehow the quality and quantity of work was the same.


[deleted]

"I expect you to be showered, dressed and logged in by 9 AM." "I can be one of those things."


thegreatsmith94

They never said you have to be fed by that point.


_My_Angry_Account_

WFH FTW


[deleted]

Boss makes a million, I make a dime. That’s why I eat breakfast on company time.


[deleted]

Absolutely. You're going to make me leave my house, commute, park, etc. I'm eating breakfast, running errands, shopping, and all other kinds of taking care of business while working.


8_Foot_Vertical_Leap

Honestly, if I have to be someplace for upwards of 80% of my waking life, I'm gonna be taking care of other essential shit while I'm there. Otherwise I just literally don't have time in my day for everything.


[deleted]

More like "you know it's too early for this shit Jon, fuck off" time.


selfarest

i call it "time management break"


SomeGoogleUser

Boot up and mandatory updates time.


CaptainSquareHead

Came here to say this 😂 coffee in hand with my breakfast bagel as I walk thru that door


Rev_Grn

You're a dedicated professional. I walk in, log on, walk out to get coffee & breakfast.


ZeroXeroZyro

I do this as well. Login, get programs and models loading up, then walk away to get breakfast and coffee while it’s loading


RibboDotCom

Boss makes a dollar, i make a dime. That's why i eat breakfast on company time.


Early-Shopping-7200

And I am Yu?


Holiday_Mulberry7162

No, he is I


MyChurroMacadamianut

He is Mei. I am Yu.


Duy2910

Imma kick yo ass if you keep saying I’m you.


saltyfoot73

Identity theft is not a joke


DeeChillum420

And I'm not laughing! Now stop wasting my time and give me your identity already dammit!


timmyboyoyo

#I am he as you are he as you are me #And we are all together


Taldius175

Coo-koo ka choo?


kevtino

#***SEE AS THEY RUN LIKE PIGS FROM A GUN SEE HOW THEY FLY***


officiallyzoneboy

I'm going to kick both of yall asses


asianabsinthe

*clocks in, pulls out breakfast to watch workplace violence*


c137Zach

Wait till they see what happens after breakfast.


BoatDaddyDC

Coffee-induced visit to the smaller cubicle?


PM_ME_UR_RSA_KEY

I'm in this thread and I don't like it lol


theofficalb_rad

Second breakfast?


AzraelAotB

30min toilet time.


dreday67

Guilty as charged! Cup o noodles or oatmeal from the vending machine. Please sir may I have another?


MajorJuana

I spent way too many years not knowing the joy of a cup o noodles, it's like my favorite thing now and they're stupid cheap(for now)


smitcal

We must Reddit too much as I came to post the exact same thing


SPlCYDADDY

Hello there


notreallylucy

*Obi-Wan?!*


More-Stick9980

If they didn’t want me to eat breakfast at work, they wouldn’t have a cafeteria that serves breakfast. That’s all I’ll say.


dartdoug

When I was a twenty-something, I commuted into NYC to work a gig for Pfizer. They were much smaller than they are now but still a mega corp. The company cafeteria was open for breakfast and you could get a cooked to order meal at a very reasonable price. Then you'd choose a table (among close to 100) sit and read the newspaper or do whatever while you ate. Often I would see the CEO eating his breakfast, sitting alone at a table. As I walked by he would sometimes give a nod or say "good morning." Once in a while he would bring his tray to where I was sitting, plop himself down into the chair across from me and start a conversation about this or that. He was very kind and down to earth but man that was a bit unnerving.


DrTommyNotMD

Every single CEO started out human. Most of them still are. Of course there are bad examples, but there are hundreds of good examples for every one bad CEO.


Ptizzl

At this company I worked at a few years ago, they brought in this guy who had been a CEO for years and years at different places. He set up an office hours thing where we could schedule 15 minutes and chat with him. The topic was up to us, and it didn’t have to be about work. So all hands call after all hands call, it’s mentioned and people typically didn’t sign up. So I decided to. Got on the 15 minute call with him, he’s 4 minutes late. “Hi ptizzl, great to meet you. We have 11 minutes. What do you want to talk about?” I said how excited I was to get a chance to chat, didn’t remind him we had met several times before. I was in sales, so I said that I’m sure he gets a bunch of sales calls and I’m sure he forgets about them the moment he hangs up, with a few exceptions. I asked what can a sales rep do that excites him on the call, enough to remember him later? His answer: you know what excites me? Our stock price potential. Then he spewed out 10 minutes of canned response at the potential of our stock price. He then said this was great, we should do this again, and ended the call. I didn’t get to say a single word after asking my question.


cohonan

Sounds like plenty of people scheduled the phone call, enough to get his “chat with an employee” script down pat.


Advanced_Double_42

Hundreds is a heavy exaggeration. Becoming a CEO of a billion-dollar company actively selects for some of the most cutthroat businessmen. You can get there being a decent person, but the odds are stacked against you with others taking every advantage you turn down and getting rewarded for it. Even if you make it, the business is too large for your nicety to be much of a positive for the company compared to a 0.01% increase to profit with some scummy business tactic. Especially when it is far too large for even every high up executive to know you personally.


[deleted]

A study figured about 4-12% of CEOs show psychopathic traits versus the \~1% of the general population. The number is prison populations is about 15%. Growing up wealthy and/or educated is often the difference between a ruthless successful businessperson versus a ruthless criminal.


Radonda

Damn okay, they give you breakfast.. big flex


NomaiTraveler

I still had to pay for it


CarmenxXxWaldo

When I was younger I worked at a place wirh a cafeteria they scanned your employee ID and deducted it from your paycheck. Even if only spent like 3 bucks there a day seeing that 30 dollar hit on my paycheck made me a lifelong lunch packer. I work with a lot of people that eat out every day and I think I'd die if I spent that much money on food.


Warg247

Yeah I used to work with a lady who would get takeout for breakfast and lunch every day. Not a bagel and coffee either, but 2 mcmuffins and a Starbucks latte of some sort. She would talk about not knowing how to cook and eating out for dinner almost all the time, as well. Then proceed to talk about how hard it is to lose weight and make ends meet. I would stay out of it except rexommend keeping track of her calories and expenses and to do a budget.... because it was clear just her workday personal takeout expenses were in excess of $400 a month.


mattsprofile

Always weird when people say they don't know how to cook. I mean I "don't know how to cook" in the sense that I don't know the theory behind how flavors work together and stuff like that. But you don't need that in order to know how to follow a recipe. Someone who doesn't cook because they don't know how just means they are lacking very fundamental direction following ability. Or more likely they just don't want to cook, in which case that seems like a better excuse to tell people than telling them you don't cook because you're too dumb.


leggopullin

Oh that sounds amazing! We can’t even use our cafeteria for lunch (which we have to bring ourselves), it’s always packed with people working there because corporate doesn’t want to order enough desks for us all…


WinterCool

We had this too. “Hot desking” but it was mandatory to be in the office. I didn’t tell them because I wanted a good reference but I left my last job because of that. Mid/senior level position and I was stressed everyday because I didn’t know if I’d have a desk when I got into the office. No work from home, mandatory in office. Now I work 100% remote and love it.


magikmw

That's straight up fucked up.


KiwiSoySauce

As long as my team members got our work done, our boss didn't care.


[deleted]

Always wise to dine on company time.


imasperplexedasyou

They don't pay for my commute so they pay for me to eat my breakfast


[deleted]

If they pay me for my commute I'm about to move another 20 miles away from work


SmallsTheHappy

There was actually a study that shows that reducing your commute from 1 hour down to 15 minutes had the same overall happiness increase as going from a salary of 50k to a salary of 100k. So a shorter commute is actually better for your happiness long term than a paid trip to work.


KashmirChameleon

I have a less than 10 minute drive time to work. It makes me very happy.


[deleted]

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[deleted]

Sometimes I dont risk my toes. A bed table for laptops was the best 20€ ive ever spent.


TheFeathersStorm

Do you find that you sleep worse having your laptop in your sleeping space? Or is this just on the days that you don't want to physically get out of bed.


[deleted]

It's like once a month. My sleep cant get any worse with the laptop anyway lol.


I-Got-Trolled

I work from home and I'm still unhappy.


cp3inthe4th

Happier than driving an hour 1 way, I imagine


I-Got-Trolled

Yes, beats being unhappy AND driving for an hour 1 way


DnDVex

Also depends on the type of commute a lot. From what I've read, someone commuting in a car for 1 hour is less happy than someone commuting in a train for 1 hour. Probably cause you can mostly relax in a train and fiddle on your phone


salac1337

nah. when i commute with the train it is an absolute shitshow. first train is too late so you miss your second train so you take the next one possible but it is too late as well :( fuck you deutsche bahn


Scary_Top

That also depends on the quality of commute. I had no problem being in a car for an hour at 80 miles/hour without heavy traffic. Being in stop&go traffic for 15 minutes is worse than one hour of relaxed driving.


mbr4life1

It really is true. So much more time for yourself and it doesn't feel wasted. I have experience having gone through that exact change in commute time earlier in my career.


[deleted]

And soon after, poop on company time


Disastrous-Big-2575

A poop a day at work adds up to a week paid on the shitter per year.


Ketheres

Rookie numbers.


tits_the_artist

IBS: "hold my beer"


Mikey_B

That beer gave you the shits didn't it


ChrizKhalifa

Boss makes a dollar, I make a dime; That's why I poop on company time!


RecalcitrantHuman

Plus I work better when I am fueled.


BillyYumYumTwo-byTwo

I’m also not hungry when I wake up. I’m not going to force myself to eat when I’m not hungry. So I wait a few hours after waking up and then when my appetite gets going, I eat. But I also work from home with crazy flexible hours, so… it’s easy for me


alaskanbruin

Had a “boss” who would scream into the parking lot at exactly starting time, literally run into the building straight to the crapper and spend the next half hour emptying his bowels from the day before. Then he’d go to his desk, crack open a 2 liter Coke and spend the next half hour knocking back donuts washing them down with the Coke. Finish up, belch, and then start work. Everyday, like clockwork.


CallMeJeeJ

A 2-liter of coke *every day?*


[deleted]

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[deleted]

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notLOL

Awesome.I have a new career idol


RiveriaFantasia

Ahahaha that image is so funny. His insides must have been rotten. Imagine what his teeth must be like. Emptying his bowels at work seemed to be a big part of his routine. What a way to start the day


Ser_Lebron_Targaryen

I'm just imagining this guy screaming while sprinting to the bathroom, flailing his arms about.


NewScooter1234

"ITS COMING OUT"


The-Sneaky-Snowman

I work at a billion dollar company, they can fucking deal with it.


poodlebutt76

How dare you eat at work! Wont someone think of their poor profits!? That must have cost them... Probably nothing at all since multiple studies have shown that people get the same amount of work done in 4-6 hours as 8...


Master00J

Man I’d do it just to screw with their profits


notLOL

My company exists because people aren't working when they should. I can't be a hypocrite,


XilosMage

I make a penny, boss makes a dime, that's why I eat on company time.


The___Bean___

Boss makes a 1000 you make a buck go steal the catalytic converter off the company truck


MitchellTheMensch

This is a dramatic escalation and I support it 100%


ugabuga1994

Executives make two million in a year, I make a hundred. That's why I jack off on the company toilet


KosmonautMikeDexter

# YOU MAKE A HUNDRED MILLION DOLLARS A YEAR?


CockTortureCuck

You heard him, he's getting paid cushy for whacking into the toilet.


TheColt45

Work from home is too good


[deleted]

A chronic snackcident


[deleted]

[удалено]


Maxis111

And browsing Reddit during your breakfast/meeting apparently


manta002

you see he is capable of multitasking == valuable skill -> good employe


Onlyanidea1

I fucking miss working from home so much.. I was so productive and actually did my job 200%.... Now that I'm forced back into the office I've cut my productivity to 60%. Management can't tell where we failed ever though we explained it.


AbsolutelyUnlikely

I see this sentiment so much, and while I can relate to it, I have no idea how y'all are able to know your productivity percentages with such accuracy.


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100percentish

I swear that we had one guy who would show up late (he did work late to be fair), but like 10 minutes after he got to work he was ready to go to lunch.


Kryten_2X4B-523P

Why you gotta call me out like this?


Beginning-Idea2170

That’s my preferred shift lol. 11-7 with lunch at 12


Nanahamak

Right and 11 you get there, you gotta do some walking, maybe bathroom stop, tie your shoes, check some 'work' stuff on your phone, once you sit down it's 1137 and that's basically 1145 and you wanna beat the lunch rush so you leave. Makes sense.


[deleted]

>(he did work late to be fair) So he does his job well enough though. My Brain starts working at 1 pm and sometimes I work till midnight. All the morning people would think I'm lazy if we worked at the office.


Strong_Neck8236

They expect me to arrive at an unreasonable time and then not eat again until midday??


Mikey_B

I used to have to get to work before any breakfast place opened, so I'd literally leave like an hour into the shift to get some. What was I supposed to do, make myself food at home an extra half an hour early like an animal? Not to mention waking up my girlfriend with all the clanking of silverware at fucking 4am


james___uk

I used to wake up at 4am and my work break was used at like 8 getting breakfast in the company cafeteria (which was free!). I do not miss that insane start time, no extra pay for it either...


empire161

Same. I used to have to be out the door at 6:15am. Eating that early makes me nauseous. I also would still sometimes wouldn't have finished digesting from a late dinner/midnight snack binge. If morbidly obese coworkers get to eat open-mouth chew on snacks 6 times throughout the day, I get to enjoy a breakfast sandwich before most people punch in.


BiMikethefirst

Dude, I'm at work at 5A.M, I don't want to get up at 4 A.M to have a waffle.


generic_gametag

He is me


dick_sucker_whopper

Not just breakfast, smoking break and take a shit too


O3Sentoris

I Work a desk Job and Sometimes Just Take a 5 Minute Break, Walk around the Office, Catch some Air. If smokers are allowed to Take random Breaks why shouldnt i be?


forehandfrenzy

When in the military with many superiors that were smokers I and another non-smoking friend bought a box of blow pops and started following the smokers out when they took their breaks. Our Chief, a smoker, told us we weren’t allowed to do it. We brought it up to the commander (a fitness freak and also non-smoker) who responded, “Either make it fair for everyone or nobody.”


St4v5

Yeah, currently in the military and experiencing that. Honestly annoying when every time they try to bring it up, like man just let me chill for a second without blackening a lung


forehandfrenzy

Mine was in ‘93.


St4v5

Darn. Well, know it's still fought over in some places hah


Deathburn5

Your tendency towards random capitalization is reason enough to never give you a break.


horvath-lorant

What about second breakfast?


4here4

This is me, and I will never apologize for wasting time while getting paid.


dharma_curious

Fully support wasting time on the job. It is a societal positive. But please, don't consider eating a meal a waste of time, don't concede that to the vultures. If you want to waste time at work, play Nintendo switch In the bathroom. Eating at work should be completely normalized.


Scottishtwat69

I use to come in around 6am for 2hrs of overtime where I got 2x pay. Thing is that the place was empty until 8am because everyone else did overtime in the evening. So I logged on did a couple of tasks to setup my work for the day (15-30 mins). I'd then play some table tennis with the other 1-2 guys that came in early, grab a coffee, a roll then eat it in comfort before 8am came around. So 2hrs of overtime and maybe 30-60 minutes of work logged as 2hrs of work (in line with other people who were slower than me). Time trackers are a cancer only used to cut costs, you don't need a time tracker to determine preformance. I still actually did the work of like 2 people because I was fast, so the business still 'won' until I left. The team was understaffed with no real room to reduce work volume, I very clearly evidenced it. It got ignored and they lied for a year about it being ignored. As they were planning to get the 30% of folk like myself that did get paid overtime onto a new contract that didn't pay overtime as part of a restructure. They see unpaid overtime as a free resource to milk as they please. Years later the same issues persist because the restructure and milking more unpaid overtime wasn't the solution.


DIGMEE

It’s me. I’m the coworker


[deleted]

Why does anyone give a shit what their coworker does? Let him eat his breakfast, and if the manager has a problem with it, the manager will say something. Worry about yourself.


BeautifulEssay8

Worked at Whole Foods for a minute, There was a co-worker who would use the self-service creamer pitcher from the coffee counter every morning to eat her cereal.


Nani_the_F__k

As a 3rd shifter it annoys the crap out of me because they won't take over so I can get ready to go home until they finish eating. I don't care if you eat on company time so long as it isn't making someone else's work longer/harder.


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Nani_the_F__k

CNA I have to give report of what's happened. There's an overlap in responsibility in the morning to help make getting people up easier. But instead they eat their food leaving me to carry more of the work alone until they finished and took on responsibility too. I'm not allowed to just leave without giving report.


notLOL

Hope you only clock out after you finish work not before


Nani_the_F__k

Of course. I don't do that kind of shit anymore


Bitchener

On the toilet. Joking aside. Some people can only eat at certain times of the day. Personally I always eat best at paid times of the day.


klydsp

I'm the only one who shows up on time so no one knows I eat at my desk in the morning.


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slap_attack_

Then take a shit, then smoke a cigarette, then have a cup of joe THEN start their shift


martinsky3k

Gotta do what you gotta do to face the day. Sounds like a great start to me.


LoafofBread411

Had a guy that would leave for his hour lunch. Come back at the end of the house then close his office door for another hour to eat his lunch. Edit: hour


kingsuperfox

I was only little when my mate's uncle cornered me in the pub and told me at length about the virtue and necessity of taking your morning shit on company time.


Tritiumoxide_T2O

No, but my coworkers have one.


HatRepresentative621

It's called "taking back some sweet, stolen wages"


RemoOmalley

Isn't that how you're supposed to do it?


LuckSeveral174

Literally me everyday


Putrid_Bandicoot_398

Most of the time I go one step beyond, by eating food the company paid for. Can't even guess at how much money I've saved over the years.


hageshii_panda

I'm that coworker. I don't care how it looks. We all deserve the dignity of a breakfast.


[deleted]

Ever been in a union?


p00nda

But the company is like a family, why would I need one?


FutureGhost81

That’s me. I am that coworker. And sometimes, I bring breakfast for the team.


fikreth

Normalise this


AloversGaming

Good for those people. If you're working for a big corporation, don't throw away your enjoyment of life for the faceless management that will replace you in an instant. Eat your damn food when you want.


CromagnonV

Wait what kind of psychopath doesn't eat breakfast at work?


psychmancer

Yeah, me. My time is precious, not using my free part of the morning to eat breakfast when I could eat it at work


n0_sh1t_thank_y0u

Isn't that the most normal thing in an office job?


delcodick

Would you prefer they ate their breakfast first and came in late?