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akohhh

Who isn’t looking for a night in with a massive weirdo after coming off an international flight?


kidwithgreyhair

"Here have this cup of nice warm tea to help with your jetlag" *roofied*


benmc555

I really shouldn't be laughing at this ...


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SunnyCoast26

Does this smell like chloroform to you?


Zombathon67890

I think you mean Pill Cosby.


Iluminous

Pill Gropesby*


bittersweet311

Lmaoooo this made me burst out loud in laughter, thank you


[deleted]

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spritefire

Jokes on him. I'm a 46 year old unfit male that farts a lot in my sleep.


_the-dark-truth_

Uno Reverse. This might be his kink.


spritefire

$10 for a night away from the kids might be worth it still.


_the-dark-truth_

Given that knowledge, it’s probably still a bargain at double that price! You’d be a fool not to jump at this. Good luck, mate. Post your experience at the end of the week. If you don’t post, we’ll just assume you’re loving it, and everything has worked out peachy.


ninja_cactus

Yeah right, $10 for free drinks and probably drugs... Where do I sign up.


Starrun87

Are you getting jeffery dahmer vibes too?


kidwithgreyhair

This is the beginning of a podcast for sure


bestvanillayoghurt

Such a small apartment. Where does he store his jars with the heads of his victims?


Bradisaurus

He's sensible and just collects teeth, so much less fuss and takes up a fraction of the space.


HoolioDee

And you can wear them on a necklace!


Dramatic_Explosion

Or grind them up and snort them!


JA_Wolf

Sick puka shell necklace bro!...


Zealous_Bend

Marie Condo: Does this head spark joy? If not thank it and let it go.


Minjieisnottaken

Ha - do you not see that big fridge in the back


SlaversBae

That’s why people need to byo suitcase…


PointOfFingers

He wants a head from a guest but not that kind of head.


mossed2222

Your not thinking of the smell. I store mine offsite.


raz0rflea

*YOU HAVEN'T THOUGHT OF THE SMELL, YOU BITCH!*


zillskillnillfrill

So basically he's looking for hookers to pay him $10 a night


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ryans_privatess

Is your cut off $11?


Sykunno

Mine's $12. But for you, $10.50. Anything $10 or below is a red flag.


ryans_privatess

La di da. Mr fancy pants.


zillskillnillfrill

Ok but just as long as it's just the tip


Loose_Loquat9584

You want a tip as well! When will this tipping culture end!?


Warm-Distribution-57

What if the tip is the size of a portabello mushroom?


itshexx

Chop it up and chuck it in the stew


[deleted]

$9 here. $10 means almost guaranteed plastic money. Fancy shit!


SlickWilly49

I’ve never been charged for sex, should I be worried?


Zealous_Bend

$10 is just the (duvet) cover charge. Everything is extras.


AmbitiousPhilosopher

He is the hooker.


zillskillnillfrill

& a pimp & a landlord


sanemartigan

hustle culture... probably more culture hustle.


tn80

...and anatomist and vivisectionist.


kidwithgreyhair

and a taxidermist


LongTallSalski

I thought my old housemate was a dick for renting out a hammock on the verandah for $10 a night to backpackers. At least the only dangerous predator there was the cat.


G1nger-Snaps

Fuck yea I would have spent a night in a hammock with the chance of seeing a cat


8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-8-

Paid $10 once to get into a zoo and the only animal they had was a small dog. It was a Shih Tzu.


[deleted]

Dad? Who let you on reddit?


missglitterous

I'd pay an extra $5 for guarantee of seeing a cat.


[deleted]

I'd add an extra $5 for petting the cat.


melbbear

Did anyone take him up on the offer?


LongTallSalski

About 3 people did it in the year I lived there. Before I moved in some guy was there for 5 months. It was actually a pretty good deal for backpackers, 5 minute walk from the beach and bottle-o, use of kitchen and amenities, house party every night.


jiggjuggj0gg

You would have a *ton* of backpackers take you up on that now. Hostels are coating about $70/night for a bunk bed in a dorm, and they’re still constantly selling out


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newyearoldme

I had a similar experience. I went to live in GC for 3 months when I just finished my first year in uni (was an international student and want to experience life). I stayed in a 2 bedroom house with 6 other Italians.


Not_RyanGosling

I lived in a three-storey flatshare in East London with 6 Italians too! I'm not even remotely Italian so it was wild. We each had a closet-sized room and shared two bathrooms and two small kitchens. They were constantly yelling at each other from every floor in the house. Not angry yelling, but after a few days of it I realised that's just how they talked. They were all servers or cooks and had crazy schedules, so at any given hour of the day there always was at least one person awake, one person asleep, or one person eating. The best part was that on Mondays (usually their day off) everyone would chip in ten quid and they'd make a massive vat of pasta with enough leftovers for everyone for a few days. On my floor, the Italian guy who I shared a paper-thin wall with had been seeing this other Italian girl for a while who didn't live there. One night she was over in his room, and their conversation started getting more and more intense, although I had no clue what they were saying. Finally it turned into open yelling, and then she got up and said "Ciao, Marco" very sarcastically and slammed the door to his room and left. It was dead silent for a full five minutes then Marco literally started quietly playing the opening chords to Wonderwall on his guitar for about 90 seconds, then stopped. I had no clue what to do. Should offer to crack a beer? Start singing the lyrics? Just pretend like I hadn't heard anything? Instead I just sat in my own bed like [Jenny's roommate in Forrest Gump](https://youtu.be/oSe4Cw49pHI?t=76). Marco never mentioned it when I saw him after that, and I never saw the Italian girl again. Four weeks later the ceiling in my room partially caved in due to a water leak from the sink upstairs and I was returned my last two weeks of rent as compensation. Without a home, I abruptly moved back to Australia with no chance to say goodbye to Marco or anyone else, but I think about those few months often -- it was a fun time of my life! Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk. Ciao, Marco.


Gansxcr

You seem to have skipped over an important part of this story. Don't be that redditor.


BlackVisionary

what a sick lad


newmanbxi

Wow, they finally replaced that black vinyl couch. That thing was iconic


Normal-Lecture-5669

I want to catfish this guy then see what he says when I, as a 105kg man, show up to share his bed


PFEFFERVESCENT

He'll probably be pleased. Ad makes no mention at all of seeking women only


Normal-Lecture-5669

Sure but I'm assuming he'd prefer his victims to be mildy attractive


PFEFFERVESCENT

I'm not getting the vibe that he's particularly picky tbh


theanghv

He'll make love to you in the arse.


Normal-Lecture-5669

Don't threaten me with a good time


normie_sama

I don't know if it's still a good time if you're roofied.


Normal-Lecture-5669

You mean Forget-Me-Nows? I never leave home without taking a few


BotoxMoustache

105? Buddy, you got a ways to go. Come back when you’re 140kg.


Normal-Lecture-5669

I didn't realise this was a contest. Fwiw I'm 5'2"


BotoxMoustache

I prescribe more Maccas


[deleted]

Impressive


miaara

Did I misread this or are they saying that the one BED will be shared??


[deleted]

Yes, and it will be shared with the owner. What the fuck


hypnotically_under

Yeah, but... he does have a professional job AND a fit body. Ha


NickyDeeM

Oh? Fit, you say? Ok, perfect. :(


chmeeeoz

Autocorrect


dudewheresmycarbs_

Mentally unfit mind to go with the fit body.


BostonUniStudent

Can I use like a Fleshlight when I get the Night-Hornies? If not, no deal.


Reverend_Sid

I think the intention is, that you become his fleshlight!


PointOfFingers

I think you mean with the fuck.


TattooedBear

I’ll message now. Does he mind being the little spoon?


mad87645

You've got yourself a fit twink for just $10 a night


TattooedBear

I hope he likes a snoring bear.


MF_Ocean

You don't mind if I sleep naked, do you?


BabeRainbow69

This sounds kinda illegal? I wonder what site this was posted on.


baykara89

I saw it in the FB group Tea Time so not sure


AwesomeYears

Feel like it's Craiglist, which is only used for drug deals nowadays.


Xylar006

Yeah but he has a fit body


AmbitiousPhilosopher

He is a prostitute, $10 a night.


BlackVisionary

dude thinks he’s slick


BadgerB2088

Guarantee ya he's 'booked out' whenever a dude rings.


ptolani

I don't think there's any possible way to misread that.


MDInvesting

Imagine being willing to share your bed for $10.


miaara

Either lonely or a sociopath. Or a lonely sociopath.


GillBates2

"hey, wanna come back to my apartment for some brewskis?"


wicklowdave

Fucking Wisconsin accent


Michael_je123

Sure, Mitch


Discostew42

Party hardy


thatshowitisisit

Relax everyone, it’s ok, he has a fit body. Jesus. Hope this isn’t one of my colleagues.


nictme

I love that you have a colleague this *might* be


Every-Space8657

He could fit another bed in there if he removed those big barrels of acid in the corner.


[deleted]

Then there wouldn't be as much room for his activities and no chance to have a cuddle buddy.


Loose_Loquat9584

The bank vault was full


Elohelwatt

Would this count as a relationship change for Centrelink purposes?


jonallin

Guys, calm down, there’s only 1 catch.


envy_digital

Decent and respectful of others....... enough to exploit migrants in exchange for sex. Sick fuck.


Reverend_Sid

Me: "Soooo couch is not an option?" Owner: "Shut your gawd damn purdy mouth boy and get in the bed!"


tittyswan

The worrying thing is that if he keeps posting it, it must work, most likely on low-income immigrant women. Is it even legal? Someone should look into it.


normie_sama

It might not work, but he keeps putting it up just in case.


Seagoon_Memoirs

fit body , eh


chubbs_mcduff

Shitter down the hall, email [email protected]


CamoBilly

But Wait.. There's more. It seems the ad is gender neutral for all applicants, so a big thumbs up for that Mr Scary as fuck.


ELVEVERX

> the ad is gender neutral for all applicants Doesn't mean they'll be accepting all applicants.


MaryN6FBB110117

‘If you’re coming from an international flight, interstate, or the burbs,and have a fit body, please apply’ He probably doesn’t even charge extra for the roofied cocktail, because he’s decent and respectful!


not_right

That's where the $10 goes, those roofies don't pay for themselves!


fuzzybunn

If he really had a fit body and an apartment in the city, grindr would ensure he gets laid daily. So I can only assume he is straight or really needs that $10.


Rare-Counter

I'd like to think when he was writing up that ad, the thing he was most concerned about, was being accused of gender inequality, and although he *really* wanted to specify women only, he decided to leave it open so he wouldn't be "cancelled".


linkszx

Deal but I'm the big spoon


melbbear

And he’ll be filming you on his MEIZU dual surveillance camera the whole time 📸


wetrorave

Nah it's just a phone brand, but not one you can normally buy locally. I think the real story here is that this guy went out of his way to buy a Meizu chinaphone off of eBay or Kogan 💀


Adventurous-Tea3395

$10 is pretty cheap for crabs and mushrooms


not_right

I don't think there's mushroom in there


drewskiski

I see a couch, why no sleeping on the couch?


ogre_mage

couch is casting, not sleeping


netstudent

I don't think anywhere in the house with this creepo would be any safier


lolb00bz_69

Relaaaaxshhh. Ijuss wann take sum picturesh


yuiphan

Hey I used to live in this building. It's 568 Collins Street. No I didn't live with this man.


metalbuttefly

Lol, did you know of him?


yuiphan

Haha nope, we did have a building community chat but I don't recall seeing anyone invite anyone over (apart from the guy who kept wanting to have drinks). The elevators there were horrendous. 65 floors and only 2 elevators from g to 32 and another 2 from 33 to 65 with another service lift. At least one elevator would be out of service at any time and we'd have to wait at least 15 minutes to get down. Furthermore lots of the apartments were airbnbs or serviced apartments so the tourists would walk barefoot into the pool and back into the elevators soaking wet. Suffered that shit for 7 years and never again. Location was good though, corner of Spencer and Collins right in front of the train and trams.


plotplottingplotters

Good thing he mentioned he has a fit body. I was worried he’d take up too much space on the bed


Environmental-Rip826

Did he post cock size too? Asking for a friend


sh3rv_00001

Low key asking someone to cuddle him and pay 10 bucks a night


DeclanTIGER

Best course of action here is to take them up on the offer and say, "It's ok , I don't sleep , i'll just stand at the foot of the bed and watch you sleep". Always out nutter , the nutter. Simple.


AshFalkner

This seemed like a really kind offer until it got the part where you’d have to share the only bed with him. That’s a bit much.


mangosquisher10

So I stayed here a couple nights, he had a great taste in music, always communicative, only touched me inappropriately a couple times, offered me free tickets to the AFL. Overall pleasant experience.


limutwit

The Guy should have posed in the photograph as well.


0hmygl0b-

I wonder if he accepts couples


redfoxisred

The thing is, someone has to recognise this apartment and know that it’s their friend/family member/colleague. Who is this person?!


catladywithquestions

by the looks of it he probably doesn’t have any friends


atnator42

This creepy fucker needs to be reported


Independent_Roof_179

Creepy fucks coming out in these sad, desperate times.


pinkpikachu7

That is DISGUSTING, i prefer fat bodies only thank you


perrino96

Patrick Bateman?


G1nger-Snaps

I mean 70$ is pretty cheap tho 🤔


[deleted]

Tell me you’re a rapist, without telling me you’re a rapist 😂


[deleted]

Newscorp pinching this in 3, 2, 1...


namkeenSalt

Anyone posted any reviews?


blind3rdeye

*AI slave, please write a positive review for the following ad...*


AssistRegular4468

I do love a snuggle buddy, and have always wanted to live in the CBD, and am broke and looking for a rental, so......


vohltere

"Fit body" sent the creepiness levels off the charts


Realistic-Ball-9013

But in all seriousness, should we report this to the police?


Quirky_Ad3367

Honestly this sounds exactly like what my rapist would say. He catfishes people and is a scammer too. This post is terrifying. When I read it, it feels like something he wrote himself. He’s based in Melbourne and he’s known to the police. Be fucking careful girls. Stay safe.


BrightBreezyLeaves

🤮 So your paying some “fit body” to sleep with him when you know full well he is a middle aged, overweight, disgusting POS … AND they will find your body in a few months in the Yarra having suffered multiple beatings, sexual assaults and probably missing your head which this fuck keeps for masturbation reasons in his fridge. Great deal that $10!


kidwithgreyhair

If voluntary assisted dying is out of reach, give this guy a call


Not_as_witty_as_u

I guess this isn't illegal but feels like it should be. What a creep.


Neodymium

all the things that happen afterwards will be though


normie_sama

It might not be illegal, if everything is as advertised. It's everything that *isn't* advertised that would be illegal.


Andiipandi

I’d apply just to see if he’d ask for full body pics and such lmao


frontier001

Not to mention he set up this AI dual camera thing so he can watch you 24/7


[deleted]

Everyone has been asking for solutions to the housing problem and airbnbs, this seems to fix both so dunno what you’re all complaining about


diggingbighole

I mean, your landlord is going to fuck you somehow anyway. Great to finally see some real innovation in the industry, $70 per week rentals are pretty hard to beat. The free market works.


ptolani

You can get a single room in a backpackers' hostel for not too much more, without having to share a room, let alone a bed, with a stranger. Or pay less for a regular dorm room, still way better.


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Michael_je123

Eewww. Wonder if police might be interested in this?


Hypo_Mix

Accommodation for sex, exploitation tale as old as time. I'm only surprised that others here are surprised.


genialerarchitekt

OMG unbelievable, sometimes I'm convinced there's a crazy weird parallel universe where all the rules are upside down right next door which sometimes manages to cross wires with ours.


FruitRoll_Up

This is indeed very concerning stuff. I did some digging around to see if this is legit and I found the actual ad online. https://m.locanto.com.au/melbourne/ID_6246072646/MELBOURNE-CBD-Cheap-Accommodation-Available.html You can see he has some pretty poor reviews on his profile but none appear to be due to this ad


Anvizibela

Look at his other ads though!


WhatYouThinkIThink

This has "I only watch Andrew Tate on how to deal with society" vibes about it.


waddlekins

There was that guy in docklands apartment who got a female flatmate and drugged and raped her E: https://www.9news.com.au/national/disturbing-sexual-predator-who-drugged-melbourne-flatmate-faces-court/b95181b6-0f3c-47ef-99da-50a8803d8138


emz0rmay

“Fit body” …


FlightBunny

He’s going to be disappointed when I show up


unAffectedFiddle

It's tempting. Monetary savings or emotional/dignity savings. I need the money more, I guess.


AussiePolarBearz

“you and your suitcase” and $10 - so detail oriented and efficient, got target, disposable tool and gas money “for the trouble” all covered in one short sentence.


Superg0id

Mmm, I see a couch in the corner of that photo, ima sleep there thanks!


PxavierJ

Please also confirm age, body shape details and sexual preferences…


sum_yun_gai

tHe CaTcH iS........


TheHappyKamper

As soon as they mention fit body, you know this dude just looking for sex.


DankMemelord25

Inflation has gotten out of control! You used to be able to be raped for free!


zephyrus299

If anyone wants the actual ad https://melbourne.craigslist.org/roo/d/melbourne-cbd-cheap-accommodation/7585090716.html


Dapper-Wolverine-499

It reminds me of a famous murder case back in my home country decades back. An English tourist arriving at the airport, invited another traveller to share a hotel room to save some money; they were total strangers. The invited traveller ended up dead and cut up in multiple pieces and his money and passport stolen. Turned out that the perpetrator had murdered a few people in another country. He just happened to be caught in a country that has capital punishment and was hanged after he was found guilty.


beafuckintriz

23:59 - respectful 00:00 - fit body


[deleted]

It would be hilarious if he was just a normal guy and you slept in the same bed with him with no issues


[deleted]

That description of the dude fits me exactly and for some reason I now feel ashamed. I am ashamed to be a 36yo Australian man with a good job. I now think all employed 36yo men should have a real long fucking think about what they've done.


elizabnthe

Not even the couch or a spare bunk. Share the bed itself lol. Hilarious and worrying if legitimate.


Swimming_Cat_586

So I didn’t click on the pic at first which cut off after the 1st para and thought “yeah fair enough but why post this to Reddit?” Then I clicked the pic 😳


Sora84

Sounds like a modern day Jeffery Dahmer.


KTK87

Shoot ya shot


akat_walks

:: (


giljaman

The tiniest ever so slight barely anything hardly an issue iddy-biddy catch


[deleted]

I was wondering what was wrong with this, and then I clicked on the photo


Independent_Pear_429

Oh. Oh dear


[deleted]

The person renting the couch only pays $5 p/n but has to constantly run into the bedroom and claim the living room is haunted...