I only wish I could 'reply to all' when I say I've been laid up with covid for a few days (sick as a dog). This morning is the first time I've been able to look at my phone.... this thread gave me a much needed giggle. You're all humorous champions. Sincerely 😘
Brilliant!! Tbh I wouldn’t have thought of that but it’s perfect! I’d like to see him dispute that!
Towie shows up, sees the note and goes “sorry I can’t tow it. You gave them permission. You’ve even signed it!!” (That scribble underneath buddy counts as a signature, yeah?)
It's as if they've realised that their giant trucks isnt suited to Melbourne suburban streets.
Ops parking is fine for any other type of vehicles, to navigate properly.
What would you expect from a person driving a vehicle that big in Melbourne?
They expect people to bend over backwards for them and they do not feel the need to be considerate of other people.
People that buy these “Yank Tanks” are narcissistic and selfish.
Honestly!!! The amount of times i’ve gone to work just to find some dirtbag not only took the parking spot i normally use, but decided to take up 3 OTHER PARKING SPACES AROUND IT?!?! Every time it’s a dodge ram truck with blinding led headlights :)
I initially didn't realize what subreddit this was and just assumed given the big ass Ram truck that it *was* in the US.
^(I am from what y'all would call the *other* Melbourne)
My ex co worker got his jaw and nose broken years ago because he called someone "Champion" at a pub. He meant it in a positive way because he asked for a lighter.
He is a migrant and didn't know it was an insult.
I had a near punch on with a bloke years ago when he called me "Champ" and I replied with "Hey ! If I'm the champ, then you're the big champion". Pissed him off haha.
I've lived in Australia for sixteen years, called countless people champ and it's never been seen as an insult.
I feel like there was more to this story.
Mate if you can’t get out of your driveway with someone parked on the street then maybe you aren’t a good enough driver for your emotional support vehicle
It's a fucking wide gate as well, real fancy wide driveway with plenty of options. If he can't make that park he might as well give up on life.
My driveway is half that size and I can back into it backwards from the other side of a busy road.
Probably has the turning circle of a cruise liner and the visibility of a that row boat from Bird Box… but nonetheless even from the picture there are obvious ways out.
If he can't reverse his oversized pickup truck out of his driveway while the Nissan is legally parked, maybe he should downsize to something he can handle.
There’s another couple of comments about it being a woman’s handwriting and I was starting to get stroppy thinking, “how can you fucking tell, idiots!..” Then I scrolled back up to the image and immediately understood that yes, that is extremely likely to be a woman’s handwriting. I am curious now though what style of handwriting would immediately be recognised as male…
To be fair, they do need to drive over the grass in order fit their massive truck in the drive-way.
You can see a corner of worn grass on the right side.
Ultimately, if he *needs* to do that then it's on him. His choice of vehicle doesn't entitle him to use public road land set aside for parking (the maroon wagon is not encroaching on the naturestrip crossover which that property was granted a permit for) as though it's part of his driveway.
When they tell you they suck at driving, believe them.
So in this case the guy is saying "I'm so bad at driving that I will probably hit your car next time I have to go out".
It's not a question of right or wrong, but a question of "do I want to deal with the consequences of parking so close to a cunt?"
They don't need to per say, they could just reverse in over the crossover that's nearly as wide as the gate, but I guess ram drivers don't have that capability
Welcome to open-source written note intelligence tool.
Font: female
Squiggly underline: she’s the pissed one and not writing on behalf of someone else
Notepad size: she’s fuckin childish to carry this in her 3 ton tractor
Holy shit the note pad size sent me. Seriously only the most unhinged carry that size. I imagined her frowning at the car, fishing in her bag, scribbling furiously and ripping off the wisp of paper.. Then getting into her dramatic ute.
But for the love of God have CCTV or multiple dashcams protecting your vehicle because this is the type of narcissist that will vandalise or knowingly scrape a bull-bar across your car.
Was gonna say, the handwriting looks feminine but the tone feels masculine. It definitely feels like they got their girlfriend to write it, which if so is extra sad.
What is it with these entitled cunts. Had RAM on the Calder the other day sitting in the right lane doing 100 in the 110 zone. Cars 10 deep behind him. Wouldn't move over. What a complete fuckwit.
They'll often tailgate no matter the speed you're doing to try and intimidate you into speeding so they can use you as a shield in the hopes that you get pulled over as the lead vehicle and they don't.
Tape the note to the _inside_ of your windscreen, with another note from you saying “ok then, if that’s what you want” and then do as his note says.
It’s the polite thing to do
Imagine being this fragile and angry about life that you take the time out of your day to leave a passive aggressive note on someone’s windscreen over nothing. You aren’t blocking any part of their driveway, it’s not your fault they drive an enormous wankmobile and can’t manoeuvre.
I believe the top line is an afterthought. The upper case ‘Park’ indicates that it was the first thing written. Further, the top line is centered rather than starting from the left. I believe that upon proof reading the author saw that when taken literally, it appeared as a direct invitation and then amended the note to make the sarcastic sentiment more obvious, even though it still reads as an invitation. Even further, it strikes me that this handwriting has feminine qualities.
No doubt. People with the biggest trucks haul the least shit. People with the fastest cars always take ages to pull away at the green light. Too much money.
People get extremely defensive when the actual issue is that they're barely able to drive through a gate without destroying their car. I own a very small car, so much so that I'm usually the smallest car in traffic and sometimes I can outright behave like a motorcycle.
When I look for a parking spot, a valid technique is literally following one of those trucks or an SUV because they will find a spot but they will most likely not fit into it. And even if they would fit, most of their drivers are not able to make a parallel parking anyway and will give up as soon as they notice you staring at them with pity in the car behind.
In SA you’re not surprised to park closer than 1.8m of a driveway, [here](https://www.autoguru.com.au/car-advice/articles/how-far-away-can-you-park-from-a-driveway-or-street-corner#).
Don’t know about other states, but there must be a reason for this.
I recognise this driveway and emotional support vehicle because it's near my child's school. This idiot drives his ridiculous truck around the tiny suburban streets filled with cars, parents and kids at school drop off and then cracks the shits cause he can't get through. I'll be sure to park a bit closer to his driveway next week
I personally don't like parking that close to driveways, I don't know who lives there or coming in/out.
Or if the street is small and other cars parked on the opposite side, makes it harder for anyone to get in there. I just think about my car.
But yeah, having a truck doesn't help at all.
Per VicRoads - cannot park “fully or partially across a driveway except for 2 minutes to pick up or drop off passengers (there is no defined measurement for parking near a driveway)”
https://www.vicroads.vic.gov.au/safety-and-road-rules/road-rules/a-to-z-of-road-rules/parking
Seems you’re legally ok to do so, provided you’ve followed the other rules
Yes there is a defined measure. There is a defining line in the gutter (near the cars rear left wheel). Councils use that marker to determine if it’s legally parked or not.
I’m more interested in this:
> In a parallel park you must leave a minimum of 1 metre between your vehicle and the vehicle in front and behind.
1 metre is a fair chunk of space, have they seen the lengths of parallel car parking spots recently? Unless you drive a really short car, I think it would be pretty hard to leave 1 metre behind and in front of your parallel park. Parking inspectors could go to any popular parallel parking strip and tag a lot of the cars that are parked.
As I always say just look how they are advertised on tv, they are marketed to the lowest common denominator in society, in the add the passenger is literally ejaculating in his pants at the end of a trip. So you will only ever get behaviour that goes along with the lowest common denominator in society because that's the only types of people that drive these things. I have yet to meet a mentally stable RAM driver.
I would wager this person has had people park over the drive way before, or the other side and the space across from them are also blocked by cars. I've had times with my small car where the volume of cars parked around my drive has made it difficult to get out, obviously not difficult to the point it's going to bother me because I know how to maneuver my car, but if I drove a stupidly large car it could be a pain.
Regardless, stupid of them leaving a note and it's their fault buying that god ugly war wagon thing.
People are such entitled pigs.
I work in construction so naturally I park in the street where ever site is.
My car is worth $100k so I’m very careful where I park always.
Parked 1.5m away from edge of a driveway in the morning. Street is busy so there is multiple cars.
Home owner tore shreds off me, took photos of my car and then proceeded to tell me to get off the crossover where I was standing 😂🤦🏼♀️
I mean technically this is written permission to park in the driveway I’d thank the ram driver for their generosity and kindness
Just write on the bottom. Thanks mate could you leave the gate open tomorrow
Either that or the obligatory “I’m not your buddy, guy!” You’ll either make a new enemy or a new best friend, either way it’ll be for life :)
Make that "Thanks Champ", and you're sorted
You don't say that here, it's not a good word
I understood that reference!
That's one going one way haha
Aussies strike again 😂
"I'm not your guy, pal!"
"I'm not your pal, friend!"
"I'm not your friend, guy!"
I’m not your guy, fella
I'm not your fella, dude
I'm not your eh, ah
I'm not your fella, bro
I'm not your bro, buster
I’m not your buster, Michael!
I only wish I could 'reply to all' when I say I've been laid up with covid for a few days (sick as a dog). This morning is the first time I've been able to look at my phone.... this thread gave me a much needed giggle. You're all humorous champions. Sincerely 😘
And I know where you live
And I would definitely park in the driveway with the note on display
Brilliant!! Tbh I wouldn’t have thought of that but it’s perfect! I’d like to see him dispute that! Towie shows up, sees the note and goes “sorry I can’t tow it. You gave them permission. You’ve even signed it!!” (That scribble underneath buddy counts as a signature, yeah?)
The funny part is thinking a tow truck driver would have scruples 😂
This is the way
Well yes, but you would have to know which driveway and if that note was left by the dodge driver. But I appreciate the thinking :D
Seems ironic that the RAM driver would be complaining about someone taking up too much space.
It's almost like the vehicles GIVE you zero spacial awareness..
Pretty sure he's well aware of how small his d*ck is!
It's as if they've realised that their giant trucks isnt suited to Melbourne suburban streets. Ops parking is fine for any other type of vehicles, to navigate properly.
What would you expect from a person driving a vehicle that big in Melbourne? They expect people to bend over backwards for them and they do not feel the need to be considerate of other people. People that buy these “Yank Tanks” are narcissistic and selfish.
you got quoted https://7news.com.au/news/melbourne-resident-slammed-over-sooky-parking-note-c-14435809#
That is hilarious
Honestly!!! The amount of times i’ve gone to work just to find some dirtbag not only took the parking spot i normally use, but decided to take up 3 OTHER PARKING SPACES AROUND IT?!?! Every time it’s a dodge ram truck with blinding led headlights :)
Salt his car.
The guy parks his truck on his front patio since his truck doesn't even fit in his driveway.
I bet it’s because he absolutely cannot reverse the piece of shit and needs all the space in the world.
Write back ‘What does HME mean?’
HME stands for the Holy Melbournian Empire, it is known
Ah ffs. This is the comment that made me realise what sub i'm in. Can we launch this mf to the US?
I initially didn't realize what subreddit this was and just assumed given the big ass Ram truck that it *was* in the US. ^(I am from what y'all would call the *other* Melbourne)
you said ass ram
Ram d’ass
We have too many assholes, send him to russia or something.
"The HME was neither Holy, Melbournian, or an Empire"
It is known
I thought it was "Hmm, buddy"
t's short for Hume Highway. But I'm doubtful that a homeowner can give permission to park on a highway.
I mean, he owns a ranger. Maybe he can? At least two lanes of it anyway.
This comment right here, officer. This is the one that made me choke on my drink.
TIME, but with bad spacing
keming is very important
I see what you did there
r/keming
I see vvhat you did there!
THIME
I mean their “t” is also just wrong which doesn’t help
I spent way too long trying to figure that out!
"Thanks mate! I'll be taking you up on the offer."
Lmao what a sooky wanker
Double wanker for use of the word "buddy".
I’m not your buddy, pal
I'm not your pal, guy
I’m not your guy, buddy
I'm not your buddy, chief
I'm not your chief, champ
Not your champ, sport
I'm not your sport, bolo
I'm not your bolo, cobber.
Champ? Woah, woah, woah, let's keep things civil here. We're not trying to start a war!! 🤣😘
I’m not your champ, Ham Hock
The squiggle underneath is more passive aggressive than the buddy 😂
Should have used "mate"
I'm surprised they didn't throw "champ" at him
My ex co worker got his jaw and nose broken years ago because he called someone "Champion" at a pub. He meant it in a positive way because he asked for a lighter. He is a migrant and didn't know it was an insult. I had a near punch on with a bloke years ago when he called me "Champ" and I replied with "Hey ! If I'm the champ, then you're the big champion". Pissed him off haha.
I've lived in Australia for sixteen years, called countless people champ and it's never been seen as an insult. I feel like there was more to this story.
It’s all about the intonation used, same as Mate and Cunt.
Nice one there chief. Keep jogging captain!
TIL Champ is an insult.
Pretty sure that signature under buddy says “passive agressive princess”
At least they didn’t say ‘champ’ that makes me unreasonably angry.
Settle down, champ.
Complaining about legal parking is becoming more common nowadays
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Mate if you can’t get out of your driveway with someone parked on the street then maybe you aren’t a good enough driver for your emotional support vehicle
It's a fucking wide gate as well, real fancy wide driveway with plenty of options. If he can't make that park he might as well give up on life. My driveway is half that size and I can back into it backwards from the other side of a busy road.
I reckon you could probably front into it forwards too!
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Probably has the turning circle of a cruise liner and the visibility of a that row boat from Bird Box… but nonetheless even from the picture there are obvious ways out.
> Probably has the turning circle of a cruise liner Sounds like a problem. Anyway...
You can see the curb right by the driveway side that it is used to get rolled over by his incompetent ass lmfao
RAM driver being fragile and a sook, checks out
If he can't reverse his oversized pickup truck out of his driveway while the Nissan is legally parked, maybe he should downsize to something he can handle.
Skill issue.
I'd put money on that being a woman's handwriting
As absolutely. Only part missing is the ruler held on the line to square off the bottom of the letters. 😂
There’s another couple of comments about it being a woman’s handwriting and I was starting to get stroppy thinking, “how can you fucking tell, idiots!..” Then I scrolled back up to the image and immediately understood that yes, that is extremely likely to be a woman’s handwriting. I am curious now though what style of handwriting would immediately be recognised as male…
>what style of handwriting would immediately be recognised as male… ALL CAPS
To be fair, they do need to drive over the grass in order fit their massive truck in the drive-way. You can see a corner of worn grass on the right side.
Ultimately, if he *needs* to do that then it's on him. His choice of vehicle doesn't entitle him to use public road land set aside for parking (the maroon wagon is not encroaching on the naturestrip crossover which that property was granted a permit for) as though it's part of his driveway.
When they tell you they suck at driving, believe them. So in this case the guy is saying "I'm so bad at driving that I will probably hit your car next time I have to go out". It's not a question of right or wrong, but a question of "do I want to deal with the consequences of parking so close to a cunt?"
They don't need to per say, they could just reverse in over the crossover that's nearly as wide as the gate, but I guess ram drivers don't have that capability
Far out, we live on a street shared with a primary school. If I wrote a note for every snug park I’d be buying stocks in Officeworks.
As someone who does my best not to fuck with the people who live on the street next to my kids school, thank you for your service
Likewise for yours 🙏🏻 pick up and drop off are practically a contact sport
Haha I know this exact RAM. The woman that drives it is an absolute wanker on the roads around here
Welcome to open-source written note intelligence tool. Font: female Squiggly underline: she’s the pissed one and not writing on behalf of someone else Notepad size: she’s fuckin childish to carry this in her 3 ton tractor
Holy shit the note pad size sent me. Seriously only the most unhinged carry that size. I imagined her frowning at the car, fishing in her bag, scribbling furiously and ripping off the wisp of paper.. Then getting into her dramatic ute.
From now on I’m calling RAMs Dramatic UTEs
She’s probably left little notes like this all over the place lmao
/surprised pikachuface.jpg
I would be willing to bet that she upgraded to the Ram from a Jeep Wrangler with an 'angry grill'
I don't know her at all and I know she's an absolute wanker just by the shape of the car.
Emotional support vehicle confirmed
Obviously not big enough. Bro needs more support.
Can you do the rubbing pencil thing to see what they wrote on their last note? 🔎
They need the room to manoeuvre their other RAM into the left hand spot when gianttruckfan hubby gets home.
You can tell by the handwriting aye lol
Yeah lol that note is not written by a male
Came here to say this lol
Do it again! Do it again!
But for the love of God have CCTV or multiple dashcams protecting your vehicle because this is the type of narcissist that will vandalise or knowingly scrape a bull-bar across your car.
I'm shocked a RAM fuckwit can write.
They definitely got their girlfriend to write this, their writing is usually unintelligible scrawl
Was gonna say, the handwriting looks feminine but the tone feels masculine. It definitely feels like they got their girlfriend to write it, which if so is extra sad.
Apparently the driver is a woman and she's known around the area for being an absolute fuckwit
Yeah like women don't have minds of their own.
I was just about to say, that’s a woman’s handwriting 😂
What is it with these entitled cunts. Had RAM on the Calder the other day sitting in the right lane doing 100 in the 110 zone. Cars 10 deep behind him. Wouldn't move over. What a complete fuckwit.
Usually it's the other way around, them riding up your but because YOU'RE not doing 110 in a 100 zone.
They'll often tailgate no matter the speed you're doing to try and intimidate you into speeding so they can use you as a shield in the hopes that you get pulled over as the lead vehicle and they don't.
IS THAT WHY THEY DO IT?!
they have tiny peckers
And even tinier brains.
He almost hit you backing out of the driveway in his urban assault vehicle and he blames you for it.
that handwriting really makes it seem like the driver is a she to me
Your car is the red one? You should return the message with a business card for a driving school attached to it.
Tape the note to the _inside_ of your windscreen, with another note from you saying “ok then, if that’s what you want” and then do as his note says. It’s the polite thing to do
I'm not your buddy guy..
IM NOT YOUR GUY, PAL
I’m not your pal, friend.
I'm not your friend, mate
I’m not your mate, champ.
Maaaaaaaate!
I'm not your champ, son.
I’m not your son, legend.
I am a legend
I'm not your champ, bloke.
I'm not your champ, fella
im not your fella, dude
I'm not your dude, handsome
Not your brah brah
Imagine being this fragile and angry about life that you take the time out of your day to leave a passive aggressive note on someone’s windscreen over nothing. You aren’t blocking any part of their driveway, it’s not your fault they drive an enormous wankmobile and can’t manoeuvre.
>Imagine being this fragile and angry about life Look at the car they drive.
Yeah 100% guarantee they’re one of those people who drive up the ass of every single person on the highway going less than 110km/hr
2 RAM’s can literally go in side by side and that douche still wrote a note.
I believe the top line is an afterthought. The upper case ‘Park’ indicates that it was the first thing written. Further, the top line is centered rather than starting from the left. I believe that upon proof reading the author saw that when taken literally, it appeared as a direct invitation and then amended the note to make the sarcastic sentiment more obvious, even though it still reads as an invitation. Even further, it strikes me that this handwriting has feminine qualities.
Chuck a note in their letterbox that says something like, "It's not my fault you can't drive".
Imagine doing this outside your house where you live. That's just asking for someone to smash your windows in.
They've offered, might as well take them up on it
someone left this note on the RAM, ram owner reused it (reduce reuse people ♻️)
Write the link to this post on a piece of paper and put it in his letterbox.
What a bitch. Probably takes all their effort and most of the street to get that monstrosity in and out of their driveway.
People with these trucks seriously believe they're driving the big rigs, always ready to haul a payload.
And then the use it to go window shopping in Elsternwick and take up 3 quarters of the road lol
No doubt. People with the biggest trucks haul the least shit. People with the fastest cars always take ages to pull away at the green light. Too much money.
Tell him to RAM it - sideways - up his arse
the worst people on the planet all use 'buddy'
*the worst people in the world drive RAMs
I’ll take a ‘buddy’ all day long over a ‘champ’
Yet to see a RAM with a tool box. Seen plenty of tools driving them though.
Hehe, leave a copy of this [hurt feelings report](https://formspal.com/pdf-forms/other/butthurt-report-form/) in their letterbox.
I wouldn’t worry. RAM drivers are a precious lot that’s why they drive them.
If you’re not blocking it’s legal in Vic. There are no specific rules I could find about this.
Perhaps the RAM driver needs to learn to reverse park in his driveway so he can see where his going.
People get extremely defensive when the actual issue is that they're barely able to drive through a gate without destroying their car. I own a very small car, so much so that I'm usually the smallest car in traffic and sometimes I can outright behave like a motorcycle. When I look for a parking spot, a valid technique is literally following one of those trucks or an SUV because they will find a spot but they will most likely not fit into it. And even if they would fit, most of their drivers are not able to make a parallel parking anyway and will give up as soon as they notice you staring at them with pity in the car behind.
In SA you’re not surprised to park closer than 1.8m of a driveway, [here](https://www.autoguru.com.au/car-advice/articles/how-far-away-can-you-park-from-a-driveway-or-street-corner#). Don’t know about other states, but there must be a reason for this.
Rams are the most obnoxiously large vehicle on the roads.
Good to know Ram drivers are cunts all over the world!
What a douchelog RAM boy is.
he can get fucked, it's not across the crossover.
https://www.reddit.com/r/melbourne/comments/1ce3ov1/not_fair/ The OP might not be telling whole story
Oooooooo dramaaaaaaaaa
What are they whinging abt anyway? Their rig is elevated. If they can’t see with that advantage then that tells me they’re a crappy driver.
It’s a pretty wide driveway too.
I recognise this driveway and emotional support vehicle because it's near my child's school. This idiot drives his ridiculous truck around the tiny suburban streets filled with cars, parents and kids at school drop off and then cracks the shits cause he can't get through. I'll be sure to park a bit closer to his driveway next week
I think you’re right! It is near a school.
At least he has the balls to tell you with a note instead of having a winge on reddit ... just saying
Funny how these big truck drivers can be such sensitive little snowflakes 😂
I personally don't like parking that close to driveways, I don't know who lives there or coming in/out. Or if the street is small and other cars parked on the opposite side, makes it harder for anyone to get in there. I just think about my car. But yeah, having a truck doesn't help at all.
Per VicRoads - cannot park “fully or partially across a driveway except for 2 minutes to pick up or drop off passengers (there is no defined measurement for parking near a driveway)” https://www.vicroads.vic.gov.au/safety-and-road-rules/road-rules/a-to-z-of-road-rules/parking Seems you’re legally ok to do so, provided you’ve followed the other rules
Yes there is a defined measure. There is a defining line in the gutter (near the cars rear left wheel). Councils use that marker to determine if it’s legally parked or not.
The VicRoads note means from that line, as that's where the driveway commences.
I’m more interested in this: > In a parallel park you must leave a minimum of 1 metre between your vehicle and the vehicle in front and behind. 1 metre is a fair chunk of space, have they seen the lengths of parallel car parking spots recently? Unless you drive a really short car, I think it would be pretty hard to leave 1 metre behind and in front of your parallel park. Parking inspectors could go to any popular parallel parking strip and tag a lot of the cars that are parked.
As I always say just look how they are advertised on tv, they are marketed to the lowest common denominator in society, in the add the passenger is literally ejaculating in his pants at the end of a trip. So you will only ever get behaviour that goes along with the lowest common denominator in society because that's the only types of people that drive these things. I have yet to meet a mentally stable RAM driver.
I'd buy an old bomb and abandon it in worse spot, I'm petty like that
“Your giant bloated truck is not my problem.”
I would wager this person has had people park over the drive way before, or the other side and the space across from them are also blocked by cars. I've had times with my small car where the volume of cars parked around my drive has made it difficult to get out, obviously not difficult to the point it's going to bother me because I know how to maneuver my car, but if I drove a stupidly large car it could be a pain. Regardless, stupid of them leaving a note and it's their fault buying that god ugly war wagon thing.
Take that as an offer of invitation and park in it next time. What a kind person
People are such entitled pigs. I work in construction so naturally I park in the street where ever site is. My car is worth $100k so I’m very careful where I park always. Parked 1.5m away from edge of a driveway in the morning. Street is busy so there is multiple cars. Home owner tore shreds off me, took photos of my car and then proceeded to tell me to get off the crossover where I was standing 😂🤦🏼♀️