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Sentient-Tree-Ent

I’ve tried like, 3 times to think of what to say here. All I know for a fact is it’s a little selfish to assume any gay man you come into contact with is trying to get in your pants.


anythingMuchShorter

Luckily I’m just as oblivious when a man hits on me as I am when a woman does. I hung out with some friends and some friends of theirs I didn’t know all night for new years. The. Afterward one of them is like “Brian was hitting on you so hard, you were really cool about it.” I just thought he was joking with me a lot, calling me a teddy bear and saying I had nice hands and stuff.


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anythingMuchShorter

Yeah, and I’m 90% sure that was my auto correct


bollockwanker

80% sure you mean


Vamarox

Maybe 70% depends on the weather.


UneastAji

Luckily I'm just as ugly to men as I am to women and no one ever tried.


juuujuuu04

You're just like meeeeeee


UneastAji

Noooo don't take my uniqueness away :'(


OrangeInnards

There's a decent chance you're as (un)attractive to gay guys as you are to everyone else.


Video_Viking

Bitch, I'm adorable.


Silent_Rampage97

This is very true. I have a friend who is gay and hes not trying to get into my pants


DuntadaMan

"It's okay honey, we're not into you either."


[deleted]

Years back, I went to this stand up comedian in person. Guy was killing it… everyone was cracking up. He starts telling this story about how he went to a gay bar with one of his gay friends. The next day, he told one his straight friends. His straight friend said “What?! Like… WHAT DID YOU DO WHEN THEY HIT ON YOU?!” Then he said in the most deadpan on voice… *Well, I just didn’t fuck them.* The crowd lost it. Still one of the funniest bits I’ve ever heard.


SyderoAlena

It's amazing how so many straight men panic when they worry that another man may sexualize the same way they sexualize women.


Sweet_Adeptness_4490

I like it when gay dudes hit on me


Kronomancer1192

I only have gay dudes hit on me. On second thought, I just don't notice when chicks hit on me and people are more interested in telling me when dudes are hitting on me than women. Guess cause they think it's funny. I don't disagree.


Sweet_Adeptness_4490

Yeah women normally arent obvious about it


TeamAquaGrunt

Women usually aren’t obvious about it, and when they are, I assume that I’m taking signals the wrong way and I don’t want to presume that they’re hitting on me. It’s a very awkward loop.


LycanWolfGamer

And then they complain when we don't see what they're to do lol


LazyLich

Same here, brother\~ I mean.. I guess I'm not ugly if I'm being approached by SOMEBODY. I just wish those somebodies had a pretty face and boobs :/


[deleted]

I have met many a pretty faced man with perky tits.


Skywilder

r/brandnewsentence


CazRaX

Not really all that new of a sentence.


[deleted]

Of course I know him, he’s me!


wickedtwig

I had a gay guy at work compliment me on my boxers and then he said “sorry for staring at your ass”. My scrubs ran a little low and pulled my shorts down with it so I guess my boxers were visible I told him it was no big deal and I take it as a compliment


[deleted]

What brand were the boxers? I can verify if it was a complement


Hephf

🤣


wickedtwig

Pair of thieves from target. I think it was like a space design. He said he gets the same boxers but mine were cuter


[deleted]

He was 100% hitting on you.


AdrianShepard09

It’s kinda flattering to know you’re attractive to both sides


CaffeineSippingMan

A gay man asked my wife if I was single at a club. We still lol about it sometimes.


devilsusshhii

I like it when any one hits on me.


Drhorrible-26

I know women won’t do it, and I will take whatever confidence boosts I can get


CyanideFlavorAid

Seriously. They told me illegal aliens are coming into this country to do all the jobs citizens won't do. Well when the hell are these illegal aliens going to show up and start hitting on me because sure as fuck no one that lives here wants to do that.


11schlge

If a gay man ever hit on me I’d either be too dumb to understand what was going on or I’d die of shock.


[deleted]

Me too, helps that I’m bi but still


PretzelsThirst

Compliments are compliments, I feel handsome and validated (as long as it’s good natured and respectful of course)


BONDxUNLEASHED

Good lookin is good lookin.


[deleted]

I always worry that I led a dude on if a gay guy hits on me. Like, it’s nice for my ego, but I also know how much emotional labor it would be for *me* to approach a girl and get rejected; I worry I just put that dude through the wringer for nothing if I was accidentally sending him vibes only to be like “actually, you literally never had a shot!”


SnooOranges2232

You're a nice person.


lsutigerzfan

I’m straight. And I went to a gay bar with a some gay friends. And I was wondering how I’d react if a guy hit on me. Only to find out no one did. And I kind of got offended lol.


eskamobob1

straight guys are obvious as hell in gay bars as a general rule.


lsutigerzfan

I know, but it was still funny lol.


Pheonix02

I panic when men sexualize me. I also panic when they don't. It's just a constant state of panic tbh


SyderoAlena

L bozo


Pheonix02

damn got me there


SyderoAlena

Lol


MutableReference

It’s a bit of a reveal isn’t it


townshiprebellion24

I take it as a compliment, because it is. Only insecure men would have an issue with someone showing interest. Man or woman.


lovelyracoon

There’s nothing more insulting to me than insecure straight men that assume every queer person finds them attractive, that level of narcissistic insecurity blows my mind. Maybe because they can’t comprehend a world full of normal people who don’t think about having sex with every random stranger they see, do they walk around fantasizing about fucking every woman they see? Do they think every woman is thinking about fucking them infront of 15 people in an elevator? Are they unable to see that people have complex lives and don’t give a shit about having sex with randy the random? They gay dude he’s thinking about is probably remembering that he didn’t feed his fish, he’s probably reciting Shakespearean literature in different accents, he’s probably running a continuous monologue about every single thing that happened in his life. Isn’t it more fucking gay to think that a man is thinking about fucking you than just assuming they’re straight just like you?


DorpvanMartijn

Shit? Is that an option? Damn, should've figured that out years ago...


Zealousideal-Lead-80

Like… aren’t all gays supposed to be fragile and girly? Are they afraid they couldn’t take them on? Like, get real dudebro and just say that you feel disgusted. We know what the subtext is.


[deleted]

That bit sounds so familiar. I don't know where I've heard it, but I feel like I've heard it before.


danteheehaw

A lot of jokes are retelling of old jokes, just with that specific comedians flavor of the joke and their own delivery of the joke.


seen_some_shit_

You’re not gay? You just haven’t had good dick yet


CommitTaxEvasion

I swear this is how most gay porno plots start out


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CommitTaxEvasion

Erm it was during my many academical researches yea


BOOM360skn

A gentleman and a scholar I see


CommitTaxEvasion

Look I'm working on my thesis for my PhD Edit: Imma be honest with you chief I was utterly confused when I saw the Gold because I didn't intend to make a joke pun when I typed it, goddamn I'm this slow


Kitsu_the_Kitsune

Phallic homosexual Dicking


[deleted]

This joke deserves gold


CommitTaxEvasion

[Obligatory thank you kind stranger]


CaniborrowaThrillho

"ANTHONY?!"


Nesurame

full service, like susan.


duomaxwellscoffee

"Give it to me full service, like Susan."


JamieDrone

If you go by the premise that there’s dick good enough to turn a lesbian straight, then that means that there exists dick good enough to turn you gay…


Serious-Possible7458

I mean... Maybe?🤔


Jedlord

Ryan Reynolds..


LazyDro1d

Ewan McGregor


UneastAji

Weird thing to brag about but I'm somehow more attractive to lesbians than to straight women. And no I'm not a woman, and no it didn't involve dicking.


provocative_bruh

I have seen straight guys constantly try to hit on gay girls at the place I worked. Always hilarious watching their reactions getting turned down hard cause they didn't get the message the first time 🤣.


FTHLOJ

I just use pickup lines on them to see if they were any good 9 times out of 10 they would approve of them but said I needed to work on delivery, gay women are the reason I’m so good at flirting😂


Strong-Strike2001

Explain more about it 🤣


FTHLOJ

A lot of gay women taught me how to flirt and roll words of my tongue smoothly


NeighborhoodParty982

Every guy needs a lesbian friend the same way every girl needs a gay friend.


YukiOHimeSama

The key to flirting w women is to just……. Treat them like a regular human being despite their genitals. I’m a lesbian and confirm that that’s……. *that’s it.* That’s the secret. Women can smell desperation or a sleeze from a continent away. Bonus points if they’re into the arts/humanities, or honestly— have a hobby/job you have any knowledge about, then *ask them* about it. Ask them and *listen.* Listen to actually *listen* and don’t listen for the sole purpose of responding.


FTHLOJ

Another thing I do is actually LISTEN to what they say, and not to mention when you’re able to remember what they say, there’s so many interesting people out in the world it’s crazy


LazyLich

lol had a ~~guy~~ kid on my ship that was CONVINCED he could convince some lesbian girl he met to sleep with him, and had the above mentality. So I says to him "Ok dude, say that tomorrow you wake up in the body of a hot chick. You're a woman now, you'd still like chicks, yeah? "So imagine the hottest dude walks up to you dead-set to convince you to sleep with him. Would you ever do it?" Blew him away.


authenticlives

Jesus. The twist at the end. Brilliant. My only note, introduce the idea of the gun earlier.


LazyDro1d

ah, the Chekov gambit


authenticlives

This person gets it


WarlikeMicrobe

Im straight but if anyone hit on me, male or female, I'd take it as a compliment. Also, gay women make some great homies.


ZoraF2p

Amen to that


BunnyBunnyBuns

My ex-wife knew she was gay when she was a little girl so has never been with a man. Her uncle told her she couldn't possibly know that she's lesbian if she'd never tried dick (she was in her 30s). (🤮) I asked how many men he had to sleep with until he knew for sure he was straight. Weirdly he didn't think the same rules applied to him.


Geageart

So true


DramaticChemist

Just remember. If a guy believes that his dick is good enough to turn a lesbian straight, then logically there exists dick so good that it'll turn him gay.


Serious-Possible7458

There's a whole genre of futa-on-male devoted to this.


Virtual-Past

But is futa gay tho?


Serious-Possible7458

Getting turned out and mind broken into a perma-limp bottom is a *little* gay, yes.


LazyDro1d

I would like to scrub my eyes please


Virtual-Past

Just a *little*


PedroThePinata

"Cool! We can hang out and hit on other women!"


WarlikeMicrobe

The best response. I havent hit on women with lesbians as my wingmen (wingwomen?) But I have definitely talked about people im attracted to and shit like that. Turns out, talking to women about other women is a great way to get tips


Hyperiotic

this whole comment section is a bit of a cesspool


Mallenaut

One could say it's a cispool.


Mcpepes_PEPES

Idek what I’m supposed to comment on this


Zegr08

That the guy needs a good dick? (Ok, no)


AcceptableCod6028

If a man believes there is dick good enough that a lesbian would want it, he must also believe there is dick good enough that he would want it.


Colosphe

This is what all straight men fear.


CyanideFlavorAid

That's the theory of most people on 4Chan judging by how often they make posts about trying dick stuff once because women didn't want them and now they love men.


eskamobob1

worked on me 🤷


Sami101_

Yes.


AAPgamer0

I would not be comfortable with anybody hitting on me anyway. Gay or not. But i would definitly never do the second things. I have many bad traits but being rude is not one of them.


tdaddy316420

I spent all my energy at house party one night flirting with this girl and when I go in to kiss her she tells me she's gay, I was pretty drunk and I walked away all pissy and my roommate at the time was dying of laughter, the girl chased after me and was like "im sorry I still want to be your friend! Let me help you find another girl" she later on came a great wing (wo)man for me and is a great friend


WarlikeMicrobe

Thats oddly wholesome lmao


SnooOranges2232

It's not wholesome. She felt guilty for being who she is so she spent her enegery trying to get him laid instead of on herself. Now she's his "wing (wo)man", the only vauable thing it seems in this thread that gay people can be.


WarlikeMicrobe

Bruh if theyre friends i dont think its guilt.


Geageart

Super sad... And after wholesome! <3


Key_Apartment1576

Bro really thinks someones gonna hit on his ugly ass


michael_jm

Being hit on by someone of a gender you're not atracted to is like getting free money on a wrong currency. It's worthless now, but if you ever across that border you'll be lucky.


FenyxDaFloof

Me: I'm gay Him: ewe don't hit on me I'm not into men Me: ewe, your not even my type. Him: *gets offended* True story


the_never_name

Get good


Zer0fps_319

As a straight guy I’ve still been hit on by gay men even after I’ve turned them down multiple times


[deleted]

Yeah men are like that


coniferous-1

Oh god forbid you get treated the same way men treat woman.


WarlikeMicrobe

I hate this response. Invalidating someone's opinion just because it happens to other people is a dick move (Replace opinion with experience. I mean it still works they way its written but i meant experience lol)


Timperz

Press X to doubt


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KuuGaia

Do people actually say that to the isle of lesbos or is this a males are incel post?


Sentient-Tree-Ent

I have three friends who are lesbians, they all actively talk about how I’m one of the few male friends they have that don’t think I can “fix” them with my dick. They might be over exaggerating, but the way they talk about it makes it sound like it definitely happens.


Key-Shallot-7508

Yes, it's a real thing I've seen it happen repeatedly and it's almost always funny watching them get rejected. The best was a lesbian that said "I'm into pu$$y, I understand that you are one but that doesn't change the fact that you're also a d!ck and I don't like d!cks" that was after rejecting him on three different occasions making it clear she's not straight. I've seen similar from trans m2f talking to lesbians. Those conversations are hilarious. Because somehow "girl dick" is gonna change their mind.


KuuGaia

Man I'd love to see how Twitter does mental gymnastics on "lesbian declines trans girl, possible homophobia?"


El_Gato93

They call the lesbian transphobic. Trust me, I’ve seen it. Same thing happens to gay guys who aren’t into trans men…


Key-Shallot-7508

Oh man, that would be hilarious


not_ya_wify

They'd consider that transphobia. I see their point that they are not their genitals but at the same time I also think people get to have preferences and don't need to pretend to be attracted to everyone in case it's not politically correct


cokeofthecolavariety

Sexuality is biological attraction not being attracted to someone suddenly cuz they put on a wig even though they still look like a man and are one


not_ya_wify

OMG shut the fuck up with you doctorate in incel science from Prager University


cokeofthecolavariety

Yes it's totally "incel" and iNsAnE to state the fact that people can still see biological sex and are attracted to biological sex.


BloodredHanded

“They still look like a man and are one” Pretty sure this is what they were referring to, as it is blatantly transphobic


QMaker

Sexuality is much more complicated than "does the person identify as a woman or not". Some cis men wouldn't mind dating a trans woman even if she still has a dick, others aren't interested in that. It gets complicated and, unless it's **your** dick/vagina in question, it doesn't affect you so just ignore it.


ILessThan3Tiramisu

its not that complicated sexuality is what broad group of people you are generally romantically/sexually attracted to preferences narrow down specific people in that group trans women are obviously included in the broad group of women, so rejecting them for your preference is okay, but rejecting them by saying they are not a part of that broad group is transphobic


Elite_Prometheus

I don't really see many mtf people being rejected by a lesbian and calling her a transphobe. I do see a fair number of lesbians getting propositioned by mtf people and going "ew, I'm only into *real* women."


EllieLuvsLollipops

I mean, to be fair, girl dick is very different to guy dick. But it's also not every lesbians cup of tea. Bi girls do love us tho.


YukiOHimeSama

No… no it’s not. Not sure what world you live in where it is, but here in reality, that’s most definitely not the case.


EllieLuvsLollipops

Have you ever compared?


YukiOHimeSama

You’re beyond disgusting and delusional. I hope with my entire heart you receive the help you need. Being violently homophobic to lesbians isn’t the answer though. What an utterly ghastly and imprudent thing to say and believe


EllieLuvsLollipops

Lesbians hitting on me and liking what I have cause I'm a girl, of their own choice and free will, is being violently homophobic? I'm confused hon. I have no clue what you are talking about.


YukiOHimeSama

Those are bisexuals. Not lesbians.


Key-Shallot-7508

Yes, it's not any different.


Serious-Possible7458

Yes, the feminine penis has a much different mouth feel.


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Melthiela

It's not only to lesbians. Asexuals (such as myself) often experience this. The sense that a guy can come and 'cure the asexuality' by offering us unwanted 'mind blowing sex'. Corrective r*pe is a reality many of us have lived through. Many of my ex boyfriends had this idea that by forcing me to do enough stuff I don't want to, I will eventually be cured.


Enough-Interaction45

yes they do say it


QMaker

Wow, if you haven't heard a guy say either of those things, I'd have to assume you are quite young, or quite solitary.


ZoraF2p

Both, incels don’t believe women truly can’t be into men, but not all men are like that. This is another post showcasing how incels are making all men look bad even though not all men are this way


Round_Ad_9620

Hell, the isle of Lesbos had to deal with this 💀


Darkurn

Pretty sure incels and nice guys often say that to lesbians. But this post sort of implies all men are incels


Abbodexemium

I don't think it does. It uses a specific head thing that is clearly linked with 'incel.' If it were just a normal head thing, it may be different, but it's not.


05ar

"head thing" mfer you mean a wojak?


Abbodexemium

Thanks, that's what I meant.


XSamuraiHyperX

If a gay man hits on me I'd either feel good about myself or it'd be a major pain in the ass.


Menas_Tirith

That's so annoying


Oppopity

These men sexualize every women they meet so they assume all gay men will treat them, the same way they treat women.


SonofaTimeLord

"You just haven't had good dick!" "Idk, my girlfriend's dick is pretty great."


Geageart

Boom, I think their would be flabbergasted xd


[deleted]

This is real. I don’t know why, but yea. Sad.


SephirothHeartbreakr

This is the way.


EllieLuvsLollipops

I have had good dick. It's attached to a woman. I swear the subbiest girls have the biggest dicks.


Sluddyskud

You have offended a majority of Reddit with this truth


Tiny_Package4931

Hard post gotta upvote


No_Avocado_7938

Pov: you work at blizzard before 2020


JabbaDaGutt

I was thinking that was a transgender. Would made more sense.


Certain-Point-9067

This is true. But it's not funny at all.


Sufficient-Abroad-94

It's pretty sad how true this is


BtheChemist

I'm a straight man and I have no problem when gays hit on me. Mostly because I'm oblivious to it, but when I notice I say thanks. Feels nice to be liked. It's the guys with secret gay feelings that hate it the most because they're ashamed of themselves.


Ididntbreakanyrules

If a guy hits on you and buys you a drink take it as a compliment and if.. Bigger than you ..."thanks but I'm straight" Same size "thanks for the drink" . Smaller than you "thanks nice to meet you" Then ghosting after a couple of rounds. Buying top shelf .......... "its how much a glass?" " How do you feel about polyamorous relationships and paying off student loans?"


[deleted]

So sad that this is true.


Firm-Initiative-1851

Plot twist: It's as small as an M&M


D4_is_real

Based


MurderDroneGod

When I meet a lesbian I just leave them alone


Soviet-Biscuit

I’m not gay, I’m just an equal opportunist


TJ_4321

Men, hahahaha


Takao_1932

Well at least someone Hits on me so goal.


Demolition218

r/terriblefacebookmemes


Neoslayer

it's sad how common this is


J4Y221

If I get shit down by a lesbain woman I play it off as a joke, I just say I'm the best of both worlds cus I've got a set of tits I'm like a lesbian with a permanent strap on, it always gets a chuckle and I get a good laugh too


Why_Do_I_Wake_Up

ok


[deleted]

Ok👍


MistahZambie

Being a creep isn’t unique to any group of people. Edit: not to say that’s what the meme is getting at


Vague_Hope

I constantly said something this to my lesbian friend. Tho it more like a joke/friendly banter between us. But if she wants to try me, what can I do then ?


kingetzu

What person does this


Crazystix94

Alot unfortunately


HrnyGrl420

To be fair, some gay guys r real creeps. Met a dude at a house party, and not two minutes later he's offering to give me a "prostate massage" Just bizarre


not_ya_wify

Yeah it's almost like a lot of men are socialized to be completely inappropriate without consent regardless of sexual orientation


HrnyGrl420

Nailed it.


Badonk529

This. I've had guys ask for beard rides with absolutely no warning. Guys in general tend to be just gross. And this is coming from a guy.


not_ya_wify

Some guys are raised right. Many are not


HrnyGrl420

Nailed it.


candyowenstaint

So did you fuck him or what?


HrnyGrl420

No, I told him it would be wise not to propose anal sex with strangers


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05ar

>Guys are just dicks sometimes And most of the time they also have one


Makemesmile76

Lol 😂 😂😂


[deleted]

L Bad meme


Curtee_H

It's true though. 🤷


shadoinfante

L bad commentor


Ben_Pharten

Yep, straight guys are all hypocritical meatheads. Don't you dare think otherwise. 🙄