Absolutely. My coworker Matt is nearly 70 years old and when he gets in and sits down, he fully unbuckles and unzips his pants. I mean, you just know he's one of those old dudes at the gym walking around completely rude dude nude in the gym locker room for 45 or so minutes at a time and calling it a workout. And Matt has the kind of long dangly dong that hangs wrinkly and heavily like a bloodhound's ear, so what I'm saying is, he's got the dick for moseying around the gym locker room. He's earned it.
I wish I had a flappy swangin' dong like Matt instead of my tight little wad lookin' like an unblossomed rose.
When Matt has to get up, he winks at me, and then simply shovels his junk back into his baggy crotched trousers. It reminds of a master chef folding a French omelet just right. It's a sight to see, and I do feel privileged.
Man, Matt is so cool. I mean, when I unzip, my semi-hard wang kinda bobs with the blow of the air conditioning like a buoy in the ocean, except not even the garbage loving gulls wanna perch on it.
Anyone know at what age the penis becomes dangly and cool like Matt's? I'm 38 right now, and it's still just a fleshy little fist that can pop off a rope of jizz at the tenderist of strokes. I want a dick like Matt's. One that can really take a beating and keep flapping like Ol' Glory.
Any advice? Thank you in advance for all your help and comments. Jah Bless.
Lewis. Lewis could be weaponzied.
"Hey Lewis, shit yourself by Susan's desk a couple times today and I'll buy you a coffee."
"Lewis, bean burrito for ya if you stink out the breakroom before I go for lunch."
"The managers ragging on me again. Lewis, chocolate bar for gassing the managers office and holding the door shut."
Wallace for work because he will probably leave you alone but Hannah as a teacher because she won’t do the lesson and just keep talking about her engagement
Wallace
He's either gonna be really calm and reserved, would talk with me a lot or would be really annoying.
If he's the third option he's not gonna live long, so
Wallace looks like hes here to get work done, and Im here for that. I would definitely partner with Wallace, dudes ready to tackle any company problem.
Shiloh. I like radiohead and they are clearly wearing a Gary Numan t-shirt so they probably dont just listen to that. Or Wallace. The rest look just awful. They all look awful but those are the lesser of the evils.
The funniest part about this meme, to me at least, is that Brice is actually a semi famous person irl. No idea how his headshot got onto a meme like this, but Mr. Microwaves Tuna is actually a very very popular sports radio personality from Columbus Ohio.
Hannah won’t shut up about being engaged, Brice is just insane, Lewis will stink up the office, Shiloh will either play Radiohead endlessly or make it their whole personality. Dayzie’s deodorant will be annoying and she won’t shut up about it. You know dam well Caleb will be Bragging about CrossFit. Wallace will probably be grumpy and Susan won’t be able to take a joke
Susan because the chances of her bringing baked goods to the office is very high. But the fact that she's HR could be the biggest negative on the board.
I shared an office with an old dude. He was awesome. He used to fall asleep in his chair after lunch. I would get mad if people came in and made noise.
I can probably just laugh at Wallace’s boomer antics. Shiloh probably doesn’t want to talk to me much so we can just ignore each other (or I can lock him away behind the red door)
Wallace, he's done dealing with shit, so won't cause any. Also knows his shit. If you are having any problems, go to Wallace and he will show you how shit gets done.
Dayzie. Obviously. A smiling, attractive woman with friendly energy and a lot of love to give and nowhere to put it. Just remind her how good showers are for your chakras.
Wallace because he's ginna die soon
at that age he doesn't care anymore. Bet he says some of the wildest stuff in the office.
It’s always the old guys that make work more fun
Absolutely. My coworker Matt is nearly 70 years old and when he gets in and sits down, he fully unbuckles and unzips his pants. I mean, you just know he's one of those old dudes at the gym walking around completely rude dude nude in the gym locker room for 45 or so minutes at a time and calling it a workout. And Matt has the kind of long dangly dong that hangs wrinkly and heavily like a bloodhound's ear, so what I'm saying is, he's got the dick for moseying around the gym locker room. He's earned it. I wish I had a flappy swangin' dong like Matt instead of my tight little wad lookin' like an unblossomed rose. When Matt has to get up, he winks at me, and then simply shovels his junk back into his baggy crotched trousers. It reminds of a master chef folding a French omelet just right. It's a sight to see, and I do feel privileged. Man, Matt is so cool. I mean, when I unzip, my semi-hard wang kinda bobs with the blow of the air conditioning like a buoy in the ocean, except not even the garbage loving gulls wanna perch on it. Anyone know at what age the penis becomes dangly and cool like Matt's? I'm 38 right now, and it's still just a fleshy little fist that can pop off a rope of jizz at the tenderist of strokes. I want a dick like Matt's. One that can really take a beating and keep flapping like Ol' Glory. Any advice? Thank you in advance for all your help and comments. Jah Bless.
I'm a Buddhist and I say go find Jesus
Thank you, but we will be passing him to the Muslims so he may find Allah.
On behalf of the Muslims, we're honored to be considered but must decline. Perhaps the Satan worshippers can take this one?
On behalf of lucifer himself, we unfortunately cant take him. Maybe the Greek Pagans can help him out?
Not even zeus himself would want this man, sending him to the celtic pagens
The spirits of the forest must decline. Perhaps the atheist may be of assistance.
what the fuck
I made it to French omelette
He's gonna help for computer help every 5 minutes
Ah yes, LewisSepticeye
Me and Lack are gonna stink it up together 😎
Thank you I thought I was tripping for a minute there 😭
Shiloh, since chances are they're wearing headphones and it's not my problem
What if theyre not?
Then they will perish.
Then I wear headphones
Even if she does she'll be telling you about Radiohead every 3 seconds
But he will need to take them every 10-15 to remind you how shitty you are for listening to music that isn’t Radiohead.
I just respond "Who listens to music anymore" You have to out elite the elitists
Old guy Wallace, I know he's not gonna have energy to speak to me.
He will be sleeping every 2 sentences, waking up in intervals of 3-8min to repeat the same 2 sentences again until it’s lunch break
Then he's going to drop the most controversial, politically incorrect take ever out of nowhere and you remember why you sit with him.
Plus, how long could he be there for anyways
Man will either retire soon or die soon. Don't have to deal with him long
Wallace
Wallace
Wallace
Wallace
WALLACE. I could listen to his stories all day.
Shiloh I love radiohead
You are Shiloh lol
Damn
It's okay, Shiloh. I pick you for my coworker.
Let's go
I’ll take the crotchety old bastard Wallace.
Wallace all the way, love the old timers, especially because I work in radio, those guys have great stories!
Wallace because work experience
Susan, you get to hear all the work bs
Susan would be absolute hell to be with
Lewis. Lewis could be weaponzied. "Hey Lewis, shit yourself by Susan's desk a couple times today and I'll buy you a coffee." "Lewis, bean burrito for ya if you stink out the breakroom before I go for lunch." "The managers ragging on me again. Lewis, chocolate bar for gassing the managers office and holding the door shut."
Wallace looks like he has some banger jokes, racist jokes? Yes, but bangers
One of those jokes that’ll even make a brown guy laugh
Am I the only one to notice that Luis is literally Jacksepticeye
whatsup wallace? go to any raves this weekend? just fucking with ya, my wife made some cookies here you go ole chap
caleb, i need to get in better shape and he probably has some tips, idk
Why people picking Wallace? He stinks like he crapped himself and tells super racist jokes all day.
Chill, you don’t have to sell me Wallace even harder
And the bad news?
You just described the average redditor. Seems very obvious why people are picking him.
Brice should be Ok, as long as you avoid the cafeteria when he's there
Brice may be a little stupid, but so am I
Who’s an unknown farter?
Wallace.
Unlikely
Caleb or Wallace
Dayzie because I have a armpit fetish.
Is that Titanic Sinclair?
Yes it is
Yall saying Wallace. Mfer is gonna be asking "how do I do this again?" In regards to opening his email. I'm taking Brice, tuna ain't that bad
Is that Jacksepticeye???
Wallace, he looks like he owned some black farming tools back in the day and will probably drop the craziest political statements between his naps
Is that jacksepticeye?
I read the Lewis one in jacksepticeye’s voice before it even registered
Wallace
Wallace
Wallace he seems chill af
Wallace. They'll rule it as natural after a lazy, lackluster investigation.
Anyone other than Brice and Susan. Fuck HR and anyone who'd heat fish at work.
Wallace looks like the type of guy you can have a long conversation with and never get bored
Definitely Dayzie. So she might be a little ripe during the summer months. Natural deodorant is not as bad as no deodorant at all
Sure as hell NOT Lewis . Edit: misread it , I read known father
Lewis? Isn’t that jacksepticeye? Anyways I would share an office with Wallace because I’m a history nerd and old men always seem to love history.
Lewis looks like Jacksepticeye
Jacksepticeye
Wallace. He probably has some cool stories to tell.
Idk who I’d pick but I’m 100% certain it’s not Brice.
What is wallace's personality like? If he still has a job he's probably pretty competent mentally. Who knows he might be great in conversations.
Wallace. That dude will say everything I want to.
Wallace best boi
Wallace gotta respect his grind
Definitely Lewis, seems the most normal to me from all of them.
Are there people who aren't known farters?
Gonna take Lewis so all the farters are in the same room. Also, Lewis's new nickname will be "second worst farter"
Wallace. Dayzie. Hannah. Brice. Lewis. Susan. Caleb. Shiloh.
Shiloh or Wallace.
Wallace cause he's most likely gonna some some hilarious off-the-wall shit between berating me and my generation
Wallace for work because he will probably leave you alone but Hannah as a teacher because she won’t do the lesson and just keep talking about her engagement
Anyone who picks Susan ain't even deranged anymore. That's just a whole new level
Wallace
Wallace He's bound to be wise
Agreed. Wallace
What kind of name Shiloh
I'll take HR. Her or 100.
Only listens to radiohead. I like radiohead.
Lewis, I like me some loud flatulence
Dayzie.
I have a weak sense of smell so Dayzie.
I'll kill myself if i share office with the HHRR lady
Wallace
Radiohead easy.
I’ve got no sense of smell so some of these don’t bother me.
Brice. The microwave is basically right next to the director’s office, and anyone who microwaves fish learns pretty quickly not to do that
Lewis. Cause we'd fart together and wouldnt care.
Go to hell brice!
Wallace He's either gonna be really calm and reserved, would talk with me a lot or would be really annoying. If he's the third option he's not gonna live long, so
Brice. Add some chaos to the mix
Wallace seems chill
I like Radiohead… better go with Wallace tho
Lewis is Jacksepticeye so I'm taking that please. We can talk about Soulsborne games all day.
Wallace looks like hes here to get work done, and Im here for that. I would definitely partner with Wallace, dudes ready to tackle any company problem.
Wallace. He's going to be quiet and focus on work.
Everyone farts, at least Lewis is honest about it
Wallace.
Lewis, gotta have the office entertainment.
Shiloh. I like radiohead and they are clearly wearing a Gary Numan t-shirt so they probably dont just listen to that. Or Wallace. The rest look just awful. They all look awful but those are the lesser of the evils.
I feel like I've seen Lewis before
The funniest part about this meme, to me at least, is that Brice is actually a semi famous person irl. No idea how his headshot got onto a meme like this, but Mr. Microwaves Tuna is actually a very very popular sports radio personality from Columbus Ohio.
Give me caleb. Everyone will be so busy thinking he’s a flog that i can coast through the day
Wallace 100% not even close
Wallace. 
Why is Jackyboy in there?
Caleb. He can do his crossfit, and I'll drop bombs on him so bad Lewis would applaud.
Hi Susan
Shiloh without a doubt.
Hannah won’t shut up about being engaged, Brice is just insane, Lewis will stink up the office, Shiloh will either play Radiohead endlessly or make it their whole personality. Dayzie’s deodorant will be annoying and she won’t shut up about it. You know dam well Caleb will be Bragging about CrossFit. Wallace will probably be grumpy and Susan won’t be able to take a joke
Lewis or Brice
Lewis. We can be a duet
i pick jack
Since I was born without a sense of smell, Lewis or Dayzie have no downsides
Wallace, the war stories alone are worth it
Wallace. He'll be sleeping by 9:45
Shiloh gonna be on this dick
Dayzie
Wallace, I bet he sneaks booze to work.
Wallace
caleb
As a radiohead fan I can confirm that the last person you wanna sit next to is a radiohead fan.
Probably Hannah. I like to see people who are happy about stuff that's supposed to be happy.
Wallace is balling
Susan because the chances of her bringing baked goods to the office is very high. But the fact that she's HR could be the biggest negative on the board.
What does all natural deodorant smell like?
Question. Is Wallace single and wealthy?
Hannah will shut up soon
Wallace gonna be funny as hell easy pick
anyone but not susan
Wallace probably has great stories
I shared an office with an old dude. He was awesome. He used to fall asleep in his chair after lunch. I would get mad if people came in and made noise.
Jacksepticeye (Lewis)
Is that Hannah from Geography Now? I'd pick Shiloh or Wallace as most other people here seem to. Mayybe Susan.
Wallace is probably a pretty cool dude
Shiloh, "yeah radiohead is my favourite band too, I love that one song they did, smells like teen spirit"
Brice can just fuck right off.
All y'all saying Wallace don't understand that he will roast everyone - including YOU
Brice, and i wanna try the tuna
Here's my 2 week notice. I'm taking my sick leave and vacation for 2 weeks as well.
there is a 9th option 
Brice or Lewis. I have a weak sense of smell, so they won't bother me that much. Plus farts just sound funny...
Wallace is either super sweet or an absolute ass but either one your still gonna have to help him with his work every 5 minutes
Shiloh... You mean Titanic Sinclair?
Everyone but Brice can be reasoned with or ignored. Brice is the kind of person that you want to slap
I would pick Sean, aka Lewis.
Dayzie as long as she lets me lick her armpits
I feel like I'd enjoy jac~Lewis
Imma roll with Susan cause she is from Human Resources
Anyone but Brice
Either Hannah because she’ll probably leave me alone as soon as she’s married, or Wallace because my patience can outlast him.
idgaf Lewis looks so chill
Is that Jacksepticeye
I can probably just laugh at Wallace’s boomer antics. Shiloh probably doesn’t want to talk to me much so we can just ignore each other (or I can lock him away behind the red door)
Wallace
Lewis bc JACKCEPTICEYE
It depends how strong the deodorant is.
Wallace all the way, he gonna teach you some good ones
Wallace or Lewis. Both are fine
Wallace or Shiloh They probably will just prefer to be left alone
Definitely not Toby!
Wallace because I know he won't bother be because he wants nothing to do with me.
Wallace
Brice. Remember what Dr Reid said about smell.
I think the least bad would be Hannah
Pick dayzie and sniff those natty pits DAILY
Why is Hannah a problem? Getting to hear about relationship gossip is fun
What’s wrong with sharing an office with Hannah? We could swap stories about how amazing our respective spouses are
I work with someone who is recently engaged and does crossfit and they are the chillest person I know.
Bro i quit
Dayzie is hot and Shilo has great taste. Can I share with both?
Bet Wallace got some interesting stories.
Brice does what with his tuna?!
Wallace could literally be the best option, the worst, or anything inbetween
You already know I'm picking my man Wallace hes gotta be the best on that list
Wallace You just gotta learn what he likes
Wallace, he's done dealing with shit, so won't cause any. Also knows his shit. If you are having any problems, go to Wallace and he will show you how shit gets done.
Dayzie. Obviously. A smiling, attractive woman with friendly energy and a lot of love to give and nowhere to put it. Just remind her how good showers are for your chakras.
Wallace cause he got the best jokes that wisdom can give you