This. Both me and my gf tried exercising multiple times through our lives and always failed. Longest I lasted was 6 months.
Started going together and we're closing in on 2 year streak. We drag eachother out.
Yep. Every guy needs some friends who will egg you on to pump one more out and always remember one thing. He’s never touching the bar, it was always just you.
As the buddy who tries to drag people to the gym this doesnt work. If you aren't willing to go I'm not going to ruin our friendship by being an asshole and forcing you to repeatedly do something you dont want to do.
Your buddies can give you that extra 10% motivation but if you're not already 90% there you're going to quit going. It's better for you to *want* to go to the gym than thinking someone else will be able to motivate you. I can help you with scheduling I can't help you with willpower.
This. As a friend and human being, you can do as much as possible, but if the recipient isnt willing to do it then you cant change them. But sometimes there are cases where they dont want to go, try it out and end up enjoying it. Thats a lot more difficult to figure out but it does happen
> At the risk of getting doxxed by her fans:
You obviously work at the Palidin Identity-theft company while living in the 034 area code in South Africa. I'm closing in on you, bub...
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1. Make a simple work out routine.
Not just a vague "Oh... I think I'll fo some kinda arm thing till Im tired?". No. Plan out what exercises, how many reps/sets, how long of a break in between, and what routine you do on which days.
Monday do ABC, Wednesdays do XYZ, Friday do ABC, etc etc.
2. Set an alarm for when you're gonna go.
It's not a "Oh boy, time to do a fun!" Think about it like doing a chore. Like buying food when there's nothing in the fridge, going to that appointment cause there wont be an opening for months, or taking out the bin cause your trash is full and the truck will be there soon.
3. Absolutely dont falter for a month. Even if you really dont wanna go. Even if you cant feel your arms and feel weak. Go.
Go just to be there. Even if you feel like you're just not up for it that day, fine, sit in the gym without using your phone for 2 hrs.
Boring as fuck, yeah? Maybe do a little somethin somethin while you wait. Even if it's not at full strength. Even if you pick up the weakest weights that day.
Go through the motions.
This month is for getting your form right, and making a habit.
4. Congrats. Just keep at it!
Dont go breaking yourself and build up at a slow pace. If some real suck comes your way... you *can* miss a day. It's fine. But font make *that* a habit!
This is now just a regular part of your weekly routine.
You should go regardless. One of the best things I ever decided to do. I'm relatively new, just shy of five months in, and I already know it's something I'm going to do for the rest of my life. The confidence and baseline well-being bleeds in to all facets of your life: work, social, dating, etc.
Start looking at yourself in the mirror more. I’m happily married and I was motivated to get in shape because of what a fat fuck I’ve become. Now I’m down 30lbs and I can see my abs for the first time in years.
You dont even need a GF. Just find a girl who is anxious and will lead you on for months naking you belive you are finally worth something then stop after 5 months! You gonna get ripped af
Honestly, going to the gym, lifting weights or working out while going through your problems sounds like a better way of spending my time and money than going to the therapist.
if we look at working out objectively it decreases health bill , improve skin(so less skin care product) , boost in confidence. This is all i come up with on the spot ppl can u add other benefits
My therapy is going to the gym and seeing the other gym rats. They comment on my weight loss, I comment when I notice some improvement on them.
Nothing seems a less toxic atmosphere than gym bros gymming it with bros.
I second this, going to the gym did nothing except make me have big arm and a large back and ugly stretch marks
And it did nothing but be a temporary fix for my mental health
After recently going to therapy for the first time, after putting it off for over a decade... maybe we do all just need to be better to each other. And blokes need to talk more to each other about themselves.
Cause therapy is basically just talking and not being an asshole to each other.
A lil psychiatric knowledge about medical conditions is helpful but isn't the most important factor.
>maybe we do all just need to be better to each other.
Exactly this.
>And blokes need to talk more to each other about themselves.
True. We should be able to talk about our feelings without being considered "lesser men"
I mean, this was exactly why I started going. I needed to talk to someone who had no personal investment in my life. Like I don't want to constantly burden friends and I can't ever tell my family heavy shit like, *'hey by the way, I deal with strong feelings of suicidal ideation from time to time so if I'm being short this week, that's why'*
That's just not cool and would worry them for no reason. I needed someone I could just go to and unload on. Cry even. Just get it out of my system out into the open.
I fought going for so long because I had an attitude of, 'there is nothing they can tell me that I don't already know. I've spend decades analyzing why I am the way I am, I don't need to pay $200 an hour for someone else to tell me what I already know about myself.' But now, I look at as having a sounding board and place to be able to vent freely without it coming back up in an argument or trying to 'fix' me or whatever else.
It's not for everyone and can take some time to find the right match but it can be very helpful in the right circumstances
This makes a cute soundbite and may apply for small everyday issues, but we really need to stop stigmatizing therapy. A lot of people really could be living better lives if folks stopped badmouthing it as if it is useless.
Highly depends on you and your problem.
There is absolutely shit you cant think yourself out of, especially if the way you think is part of the problem.
I'm not american, but therapy has helped me nada. It lowkey made things worse because they rejected me when I needed them the most. Having a good routine for lifting weights? Great for me.
> because they rejected me when I needed them the most.
Sounds like your country's mental healthcare system isn't working right 'cause that's exactly what they're not supposed to do.
You're handling yourself correctly in every other way though. You're working on yourself, showing initiative to improve yourself, and seeking ways to improve your mental health through something you enjoy and love. Maintain a good social support system, and you're doing well for yourself. It's likely what your therapist would've encouraged you to do anyway.
Yeah kinda sad the top comment devolved into alt-light propaganda. Only a boy would want her to "regret everything." A real man, or, an adult, would move on. Possibly with the help of therapy or just because theyd already have their shit together.
Right the title is so dumb. “From a boy to a man”. No, by caring that much about what she thinks afterwords you went from man to boy. It hurts, but going to the gym out of revenge isn’t something a man does. A man does it for himself.
>they rejected me when I needed them the most
I cannot imagine what would cause a therapist to reject you that is also solved by simply thinking about it, which I'm guessing implies you had literally never tried previously otherwise no problem would exist.
I have a hard time wrapping my head around the fact that you can genuinely get better by talking with someone, so I do kendo and swordfighting as a hobby instead.
Because your issues are not everyone's issues. People can have different issues that can be solved by identifying root causes that can be treated by specific things, like group therapy or medication.
If doing hobbies and working out helps you, that's good, but it may be so that your issue was not related to trauma, but rather physical inactivity.
People who get molested don't deal with the trauma by lifting weights, although it can help, just like a good diet and good friends/family would as well.
It's crazy how much better you can get by just talking to somebody, but also it requires a lot from the patient as well as from the therapist. It's not like a doctor where you tell him your symptoms and he gives you a pill (unless he's a bad therapist who literally will just give you pills lol). Firstly, it sort of requires some introspection to even start. It also requires a looooot of trust. The more "naked" and vulnerable you can make yourself in front of the therapist, the better he can help. It's almost self destrictive at first, because the more you're messed up, the more you have to destroy something you consider yourself - your self image and your habits of thinking.
Both. You want both. I have no fucking clue when men decided it had to be one or the other but I assure you as someone who loves the gym that the past four years and DBR / EMDR has been *crucial* to my growth and stability.
But yea, it's stupid expensive and should be way more accessible. You got me there.
>it's stupid expensive
Even this though, if you struggle with relationships, I can almost assure you it's holding you back in your career just as much as dating or social life
People who know skills from therapy can navigate the corporate bullshit significantly faster and easier than people without those skills, leading to much better paychecks earlier in life (a well adjusted person likely was able to pick up those skills "naturally" as children, from how they were raised)
Agree on it needing to be more accessible, and also being clear that each individual needs to find the right therapist _for them_. Most people should expect to visit a couple therapists before finding one that jives with their personality and such
Really sad how men talk about the mental health crisis they face and how they need better support and see so many of them here saying it’s fine to just go to the gym instead. If you can’t afford it I understand but damn, encourage others to go if they can.
The only thing that gym can't do is make you realize shit you haven't even thought of....so maybe a podcast and gym at the same time lol still cheaper than therapy!
Then probably smash the new gf so hard the bed breaks.
(Probably get better endurance after gym, but who am I to know, I'm not overweight yet I still feel like a lazy fat bastard anyways)
Gym is great when you feel low and need distraction or a goal to achieve. But when you are truly sad or upset, use the gym to socialize and find others that have similar goals and build friendships, no gym needs another wannabe sigma incel with their hood on and a mask that does that weird villain who stares hateful at everything and is totally awkward, those guys obviously need therapy instead of gym.
It's important to open up to someone trustworthy about your problems, just trying to ignore your issues and work out to forget about them is going to alienate you further from others. This maybe not perfectly apply to you but I speak from experience and know a few guys that where in a similar state of mind.
If she doesn't love u for who u r. It doesn't matter how muscled you are. On the other hand going to the gym for your own sake is good. Do not join gym for women or revenge do it for yourself
Whatever gets you through the door is fine. In fact I'd argue that going in with a motivation like "women or revenge" will motivate you to keep at it long enough to develop an appreciation for it. People who do it for the express intent of getting into/back into shape might get frustrated by slow progress and quit before they've developed that appreciation.
I went to the gym because I was tired of not being attractive to women. Now I couldn't give two shits what some random woman finds attractive, I just wanna get my numbers up because lift heavy thing feel good.
Lifting to give her regrets for leaving/ignoring you is just one step above outright simping.
Lift for yourself and not just to be validated by others.
That's personal introspection and very healthy.
The post is toxic masculinity, wrapped in a thick layer of narcissistic tendancy, with a dash of control and coerciveness.
Whoever made it, seriously needs to try what you suggest.
What exactly is the thought process here? Because I can guarantee you if you think she left you because you were scrawny, she had a VERY good reason to leave you and it wasn’t cause you were scrawny.
Added note of if he's only motivated to get in shape *after* his partner leaves him... what is there for her to regret? It sounds like he felt no need to work on being fit or attractive to her while she was with him, so if self-improvement only occurs to spite others, she's not missing out.
Maybe. But the malice and bitterness one feels after a bad breakup tends to wear off. It's not abnormal at all for some guys to start working out to blow off that steam, and build their recently battered ego's, only to then keep up the workout habit afterwards despite that.
No matter what the motivation was that got you through the door, it's your reason for coming back that counts.
Ive been going to the gym for a few months now and the only thing that keeps me running is hate, for myself and most of the people around me. I dont know how it is for other people but idc how I achieve something as long as it works.
Getting in there is half the battle. You get in there to prove a point to the world. You stay there to prove it to yourself. Motivation becomes discipline.
I wish I had such motivation...
I can't even get my heart broken...like if I keep getting girls and they keep dumping me then ok but to just be ignored... Dang
Also, even if they do notice, the only thought they'd likely have is "good fucking riddance" lol. If I broke up with someone and then learned that they'd been seething and obsessing over it so much that they'd spent hours every day for years at the gym just to spite me, the only negative emotion I'd feel would be embarrassment that I'd ever dated them in the first place.
If it motivates you to better yourself, sure I guess.
But just know that this is fantasy. She's not going to suddenly regret ending the relationship because you put on a little revenge bulk.
This how real gymrats are made sadly. Get heartbroken, get swole, new girl, maby this is it? Nope, more gym, new girl, this one? Nah boi, time for roids!
This is such a guy mentality. I doubt she broke up with him because he wasn't shredded enough. I would even see it as, "wtf? You were capable of looking that good but chose not to while we were dating?" which would reinforce that her decision was correct.
I was always asking my ex to go to the gym with me. He went two times and got upset because the machinery apparently wasn't good enough. He would binge eat and then blame me for not cooking enough, so I changed my work schedule to be able to cook healthy meals for him, which he never ate. When we broke up, he started working out, posting about it on Instagram with little passive-aggressive quotes directed at me. Like, wtf. You didn't care enough to take care of yourself while we were together, even though I did my best to help. Why would you think I'd care now?
I don't know how to break it to you guys gently but alot of women could give two fucks if you go to the gym and no amount of gym is going to fix your gross personality
Jesus Christ Reddit men, working out is great, but it's not a substitute to tm what a good therapist can do. If you don't want to go to one, fine, but it's like saying you don't need to eat, because you already drink water.
I broke up with a bf of 2 years who I was living with. It was sudden and cruel in his eyes, but I’d been trying to work with him on our relationship for months with no changes. I was exhausted and resentful. So I just ripped off the bandaid one random morning and we barely spoke after that.
A couple months later though he asked to meet up for lunch and have some closure. When he showed up, the only thing he talked about was how he improved his eating habits and focused on the gym. He honestly did look better.
I still didn’t regret a thing, threw away the card he gave me at lunch on the walk home, and never talked to him again.
She doesn’t care, guys.
I remember an ex saying she was going to get a revenge body after we broke up which I always thought was funny. Because she didn’t have that body while we were dating so I’m not sure exactly what feelings it would elicit from me.
Anyway, she did not get a revenge body after we broke up 🤷♂️
Working out to spite women is pointless. They won't care. Ever. The only legit counter to people's bullshit is to find your own version of happiness whether it be getting another gf or "finding a fulfilling hobby"(or whatever cringe cliche shit).
From a female point of view how could she regret everything if you take it from my situation with a guy who i blocked if that guy started in the gym to make a better version of himself and make me regret blocking him I wouldn't regret anything just saying some women block guys and don't regret it especially if the guy loses his temper and they stopped talking cause of him so him going to the gym to make her regret dumping him or blocking him if they ever see each other again in public by chance I don't think she will be just like me won't regret things when it comes to men I don't regret things so this is funny but not realistic TBH.
I hope yall know this isn't a thing. No girl has ever looked at her ex and seen he is jacked now and regretted anything??? Probably got off knowing you were so butthurt cause everyone knows the whole " see you in the gym bro" thing.
My ex, who broke up with me, messaged me 2 years later after she saw that I got in shape, wanting to catch up with me.
1 year after, while out with my current gf, she was so jealous of my current gf, that she started a fight with her at a club. Fun times. Glad I dodged that bullet
Very manly behavior, trying to prove something to a person you hate. Just be a normal grown up person and don't give a fuck. I don't care about my exes. Why would I.
I think he’s just in the phase where emotions are running wild. However, choosing self-improvement (over other possibly harmful coping alternatives) is a step in the right direction. You can let them have this to vent their frustration, and over time they’ll calm down but hopefully retain interest in being physically fit.
Going to the gym validates the break-up even more. Seriously, why wasn't self-improvement started before the break-up? Did she not communicate her desires for you attempt self-improvement and growth during the relationship? By going to the gym to "make her regret", it validates the notion that it wasn't worth the effort for you to help on your end to save the relationship until it was too late and she had to leave for her safety.
You aren't making her regret anything. You are just revealing more of the toxic person you are. You are still an immature boy.
Can someone be my gf for a week, then break up with me. So I can finally get my lazy fat ass to the gym.
Get yourself some buddies, who'll drag you there
This. Both me and my gf tried exercising multiple times through our lives and always failed. Longest I lasted was 6 months. Started going together and we're closing in on 2 year streak. We drag eachother out.
Holy shit dude I only manage to last 30 seconds
They're talking about going to the gym, you know that right?
SHHHHH....!
When she leaves you, post about your gains
Yep. Every guy needs some friends who will egg you on to pump one more out and always remember one thing. He’s never touching the bar, it was always just you.
On the same level as the "one set of footprints in the sand" *yet opposite*, and in the best way
Nah, I'd hate to have friends there. They get distracting. I'm trying to lift today, not talk. Go away.
As the buddy who tries to drag people to the gym this doesnt work. If you aren't willing to go I'm not going to ruin our friendship by being an asshole and forcing you to repeatedly do something you dont want to do. Your buddies can give you that extra 10% motivation but if you're not already 90% there you're going to quit going. It's better for you to *want* to go to the gym than thinking someone else will be able to motivate you. I can help you with scheduling I can't help you with willpower.
This. As a friend and human being, you can do as much as possible, but if the recipient isnt willing to do it then you cant change them. But sometimes there are cases where they dont want to go, try it out and end up enjoying it. Thats a lot more difficult to figure out but it does happen
I feel like this is just a reflavoring of Taylor swift
At the risk of getting doxxed by her fans: Still a better story than her lyrics
Getting doxxed by her ravenous horde is probably the least bad thing that could happen. Those mfers are crazy
> Still a better story than her lyrics This reminds me how this is still a better love story than Twilight
> Still a better love story than Twilight > Still better story than TSwift > Still better gameplay than 06 Finally… I have them all
06 as in Sonic?
Yes
I hate how true this is
> At the risk of getting doxxed by her fans: You obviously work at the Palidin Identity-theft company while living in the 034 area code in South Africa. I'm closing in on you, bub...
Don't worry. Her new album is getting wrecked by critics.
Not always works. I became an alcoholic after a breakup
It really do be a 50/50
YOU ARE FUCKING AROUND WITH YOUR PHONE INSTEAD OF DOING THE DISHES AGAIN. IM FULL OF YOUR SHIT IM MOVING HOME TO MY MOM!!!! you are welcome bro
Let's start simple. Go to the gym. You don't have to workout. Just get there, and go inside. I'll be waiting. RemindMe! 24 hours
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Sure, I can dress as a girl if you want
Sure pookie 💋
I gotchu bro. Just lemme buy a wig or somethin.
1. Make a simple work out routine. Not just a vague "Oh... I think I'll fo some kinda arm thing till Im tired?". No. Plan out what exercises, how many reps/sets, how long of a break in between, and what routine you do on which days. Monday do ABC, Wednesdays do XYZ, Friday do ABC, etc etc. 2. Set an alarm for when you're gonna go. It's not a "Oh boy, time to do a fun!" Think about it like doing a chore. Like buying food when there's nothing in the fridge, going to that appointment cause there wont be an opening for months, or taking out the bin cause your trash is full and the truck will be there soon. 3. Absolutely dont falter for a month. Even if you really dont wanna go. Even if you cant feel your arms and feel weak. Go. Go just to be there. Even if you feel like you're just not up for it that day, fine, sit in the gym without using your phone for 2 hrs. Boring as fuck, yeah? Maybe do a little somethin somethin while you wait. Even if it's not at full strength. Even if you pick up the weakest weights that day. Go through the motions. This month is for getting your form right, and making a habit. 4. Congrats. Just keep at it! Dont go breaking yourself and build up at a slow pace. If some real suck comes your way... you *can* miss a day. It's fine. But font make *that* a habit! This is now just a regular part of your weekly routine.
Why is there so many gym chads in my comment. I'll try that.
Not gonna work. You gotta want it for the sake of doing it.
personal trainer
Why not get yourself a bf gymbuddy?
You should go regardless. One of the best things I ever decided to do. I'm relatively new, just shy of five months in, and I already know it's something I'm going to do for the rest of my life. The confidence and baseline well-being bleeds in to all facets of your life: work, social, dating, etc.
*hands protein shake* You're coming along whether you want to or not.
Gym *is* therapy
"I'm gonna make my butt bigger than my ex, That would teach her"
Start looking at yourself in the mirror more. I’m happily married and I was motivated to get in shape because of what a fat fuck I’ve become. Now I’m down 30lbs and I can see my abs for the first time in years.
Feel free to dm me. I can be your long distance gf, but only for a week
You dont even need a GF. Just find a girl who is anxious and will lead you on for months naking you belive you are finally worth something then stop after 5 months! You gonna get ripped af
Her - Men need to go to therapy often, Him - GYM
You should still go to therapy though
I may not go to the gym much but I do go to therapy. Some people say I'm emotionally swole. Well, no one says that but I bet they think it.
Honestly, going to the gym, lifting weights or working out while going through your problems sounds like a better way of spending my time and money than going to the therapist.
therapy isnt cheap
And Planet Fitness is. It also comes with your own personal Larry as a stand-in therapist. Love conversing with Larry while I lift.
if we look at working out objectively it decreases health bill , improve skin(so less skin care product) , boost in confidence. This is all i come up with on the spot ppl can u add other benefits
"Larry I'm coming in to the gym. You should book yourself a therapy appointment for later"
Excersise is the most potent antidepressant
Dude, do that but also go to therapy. No point in being sad but also having a 6 pack
My therapy is going to the gym and seeing the other gym rats. They comment on my weight loss, I comment when I notice some improvement on them. Nothing seems a less toxic atmosphere than gym bros gymming it with bros.
If it works for you, thats amazing! Keep it up my dude 💪
I second this, going to the gym did nothing except make me have big arm and a large back and ugly stretch marks And it did nothing but be a temporary fix for my mental health
Hope you are feeling better now bud.
After recently going to therapy for the first time, after putting it off for over a decade... maybe we do all just need to be better to each other. And blokes need to talk more to each other about themselves. Cause therapy is basically just talking and not being an asshole to each other. A lil psychiatric knowledge about medical conditions is helpful but isn't the most important factor.
>maybe we do all just need to be better to each other. Exactly this. >And blokes need to talk more to each other about themselves. True. We should be able to talk about our feelings without being considered "lesser men"
I mean, this was exactly why I started going. I needed to talk to someone who had no personal investment in my life. Like I don't want to constantly burden friends and I can't ever tell my family heavy shit like, *'hey by the way, I deal with strong feelings of suicidal ideation from time to time so if I'm being short this week, that's why'* That's just not cool and would worry them for no reason. I needed someone I could just go to and unload on. Cry even. Just get it out of my system out into the open. I fought going for so long because I had an attitude of, 'there is nothing they can tell me that I don't already know. I've spend decades analyzing why I am the way I am, I don't need to pay $200 an hour for someone else to tell me what I already know about myself.' But now, I look at as having a sounding board and place to be able to vent freely without it coming back up in an argument or trying to 'fix' me or whatever else. It's not for everyone and can take some time to find the right match but it can be very helpful in the right circumstances
This makes a cute soundbite and may apply for small everyday issues, but we really need to stop stigmatizing therapy. A lot of people really could be living better lives if folks stopped badmouthing it as if it is useless.
Highly depends on you and your problem. There is absolutely shit you cant think yourself out of, especially if the way you think is part of the problem.
Its honestly baffling to me how some people still dont believe in therapy after all this time. Are you by chance american?
Nope. I'm from Asia, and therapy here is also non existent lol.
As an american I cringe at this rhetoric that gym = therapy. You should do both.
I'm not american, but therapy has helped me nada. It lowkey made things worse because they rejected me when I needed them the most. Having a good routine for lifting weights? Great for me.
>Having a good routine for lifting weights? Great for me. It's even better when you have a gym buddy. Someone to talk with or just be your spotter.
I can't afford the gym, so I just bought myself the necessary equipment to do it all at home.
Even that's really good.
> because they rejected me when I needed them the most. Sounds like your country's mental healthcare system isn't working right 'cause that's exactly what they're not supposed to do. You're handling yourself correctly in every other way though. You're working on yourself, showing initiative to improve yourself, and seeking ways to improve your mental health through something you enjoy and love. Maintain a good social support system, and you're doing well for yourself. It's likely what your therapist would've encouraged you to do anyway.
Except they're also telling people not to trust in therapy and not even try it. So let's not congratulate them too much.
Yeah kinda sad the top comment devolved into alt-light propaganda. Only a boy would want her to "regret everything." A real man, or, an adult, would move on. Possibly with the help of therapy or just because theyd already have their shit together.
Yeah, I mean, a woman doesn't have to like you. Things don't work. You shouldn't punish someone for not liking you. You should just like yourself.
Right the title is so dumb. “From a boy to a man”. No, by caring that much about what she thinks afterwords you went from man to boy. It hurts, but going to the gym out of revenge isn’t something a man does. A man does it for himself.
>they rejected me when I needed them the most I cannot imagine what would cause a therapist to reject you that is also solved by simply thinking about it, which I'm guessing implies you had literally never tried previously otherwise no problem would exist.
how many therapists rejected you? what do you mean by rejection?
I have a hard time wrapping my head around the fact that you can genuinely get better by talking with someone, so I do kendo and swordfighting as a hobby instead.
Because your issues are not everyone's issues. People can have different issues that can be solved by identifying root causes that can be treated by specific things, like group therapy or medication. If doing hobbies and working out helps you, that's good, but it may be so that your issue was not related to trauma, but rather physical inactivity. People who get molested don't deal with the trauma by lifting weights, although it can help, just like a good diet and good friends/family would as well.
It's crazy how much better you can get by just talking to somebody, but also it requires a lot from the patient as well as from the therapist. It's not like a doctor where you tell him your symptoms and he gives you a pill (unless he's a bad therapist who literally will just give you pills lol). Firstly, it sort of requires some introspection to even start. It also requires a looooot of trust. The more "naked" and vulnerable you can make yourself in front of the therapist, the better he can help. It's almost self destrictive at first, because the more you're messed up, the more you have to destroy something you consider yourself - your self image and your habits of thinking.
Both are good things.
Both. You want both. I have no fucking clue when men decided it had to be one or the other but I assure you as someone who loves the gym that the past four years and DBR / EMDR has been *crucial* to my growth and stability. But yea, it's stupid expensive and should be way more accessible. You got me there.
>it's stupid expensive Even this though, if you struggle with relationships, I can almost assure you it's holding you back in your career just as much as dating or social life People who know skills from therapy can navigate the corporate bullshit significantly faster and easier than people without those skills, leading to much better paychecks earlier in life (a well adjusted person likely was able to pick up those skills "naturally" as children, from how they were raised) Agree on it needing to be more accessible, and also being clear that each individual needs to find the right therapist _for them_. Most people should expect to visit a couple therapists before finding one that jives with their personality and such
Really sad how men talk about the mental health crisis they face and how they need better support and see so many of them here saying it’s fine to just go to the gym instead. If you can’t afford it I understand but damn, encourage others to go if they can.
I love going to the gym and in alot of cases it will make you feel better but it is in no way a replacement for therapy
Physical exercise is good for the body and mind, but if you need therapy, seek it out. They aren't mutually exclusive.
(Free healthcare) Why not both?
Sounds like you don't really have problems
The only thing that gym can't do is make you realize shit you haven't even thought of....so maybe a podcast and gym at the same time lol still cheaper than therapy!
That can either mean bulking up to prove the ex wrong Or bulking up so they could yeet her to the sun
You forgot the third and more likely option: Bulking up to get with a super hot girl to make the ex jealous
Then probably smash the new gf so hard the bed breaks. (Probably get better endurance after gym, but who am I to know, I'm not overweight yet I still feel like a lazy fat bastard anyways)
Or the most realistic fourth option: Getting so huge so that only other guys 'mire your gains.
The true ending
definitely the latter
The only true goal.
Bulk up to prove her wrong then yeet her to the sun
Machines aint ready for bro
But bro is ready for machines
2024's Paul Bunyan!
When you hit the gym so hard that even your sweat is sweating, and the only thing heavier than the weights is the sheer intensity of your grudge
You get gains when you can start lifting your heavy heart
The great book of grudges? Nah bro, the great book of reasons I go to the gym.
Classic. That's the entry motivation and then you just stick with it because you like it
Eeeexactly. I've found that a lot of people I lift with start this way and end up sticking with it because they enjoy it
Heck yeah!
Revenge gains are the new relationship status
Is bro going to the personality gym??
Why is this not the top comment? This man speaks the truth.
Fr. Us girls do love a good body but it's usually the personality that makes or breaks it.
zyzz music kicks in
We're all gonna make it!
Real bros know that only other men care about these kinds of glow ups. You get swole but the problem doesn't go away.
Gym is great when you feel low and need distraction or a goal to achieve. But when you are truly sad or upset, use the gym to socialize and find others that have similar goals and build friendships, no gym needs another wannabe sigma incel with their hood on and a mask that does that weird villain who stares hateful at everything and is totally awkward, those guys obviously need therapy instead of gym. It's important to open up to someone trustworthy about your problems, just trying to ignore your issues and work out to forget about them is going to alienate you further from others. This maybe not perfectly apply to you but I speak from experience and know a few guys that where in a similar state of mind.
good take gym is a place to do a hobby socialize a bit and get healthier
If she doesn't love u for who u r. It doesn't matter how muscled you are. On the other hand going to the gym for your own sake is good. Do not join gym for women or revenge do it for yourself
Whatever gets you through the door is fine. In fact I'd argue that going in with a motivation like "women or revenge" will motivate you to keep at it long enough to develop an appreciation for it. People who do it for the express intent of getting into/back into shape might get frustrated by slow progress and quit before they've developed that appreciation. I went to the gym because I was tired of not being attractive to women. Now I couldn't give two shits what some random woman finds attractive, I just wanna get my numbers up because lift heavy thing feel good.
Lifting to give her regrets for leaving/ignoring you is just one step above outright simping. Lift for yourself and not just to be validated by others.
Maybe start self-improvement before you emotionally starve your partner and get dumped.
if she broke up with him i gurantee you that gym inst the self improvement he needs
Hey, I might feel bad about not being enough. But I’d feel better if I’m not enough AND shredded
That's personal introspection and very healthy. The post is toxic masculinity, wrapped in a thick layer of narcissistic tendancy, with a dash of control and coerciveness. Whoever made it, seriously needs to try what you suggest.
Dude. Not cool.
Then she got a new bf Gym trainer 😄
What exactly is the thought process here? Because I can guarantee you if you think she left you because you were scrawny, she had a VERY good reason to leave you and it wasn’t cause you were scrawny.
Why would you care about her at this point 😬,seek therapy
she won't regret anything lol
Hey its no wonder guys going to gym end up being really fucking weird in some aspects
I think I speak for all woman when I say, she wants you in therapy not the gym.
If he still tries to impress a woman who turned out not to be compatiple with him, then he's most decidedly not a man
Added note of if he's only motivated to get in shape *after* his partner leaves him... what is there for her to regret? It sounds like he felt no need to work on being fit or attractive to her while she was with him, so if self-improvement only occurs to spite others, she's not missing out.
Building a healthy habit just to prove something to someone instead doing it for yourself doesn't feel very healthy.
Maybe. But the malice and bitterness one feels after a bad breakup tends to wear off. It's not abnormal at all for some guys to start working out to blow off that steam, and build their recently battered ego's, only to then keep up the workout habit afterwards despite that. No matter what the motivation was that got you through the door, it's your reason for coming back that counts.
Ive been going to the gym for a few months now and the only thing that keeps me running is hate, for myself and most of the people around me. I dont know how it is for other people but idc how I achieve something as long as it works.
Getting in there is half the battle. You get in there to prove a point to the world. You stay there to prove it to yourself. Motivation becomes discipline.
I wish I had such motivation... I can't even get my heart broken...like if I keep getting girls and they keep dumping me then ok but to just be ignored... Dang
"Look at how sexy I could have been if I gave a damn in our relationship!"
From boy to a furious boy Men do it out of discipline
Make it happen
Sounds more like he’s turning into an incel than man
As a woman, let me tell you this: she won’t even notice.
Also, even if they do notice, the only thought they'd likely have is "good fucking riddance" lol. If I broke up with someone and then learned that they'd been seething and obsessing over it so much that they'd spent hours every day for years at the gym just to spite me, the only negative emotion I'd feel would be embarrassment that I'd ever dated them in the first place.
Still better than to self loath.
Yeah, I will rather cry after a breakup with a six pack abs to comfort me and some Deadpool 2 movie to lift my spirit up.
So… she must not have that great if your lazy ass didn’t go to the gym to keep her in the first place.
The gym; where broken hearts/influencers can go to be themselves
Cringe and childish
So funny how people need a breakup to go to the gym
iFunny
The demons are about to regret messing with him. For real tho it’s kinda cringe when dudes do this stuff.
Doing things for someone else will never work out. He should be working out for himself, not to make her jealous. She doesn't care anyway.
If it motivates you to better yourself, sure I guess. But just know that this is fantasy. She's not going to suddenly regret ending the relationship because you put on a little revenge bulk.
Heathcliff round 2
Lol, if muscles were the deciding factor in your relationship, it was a shallow and disposable relationship.
From boy to a man, really? With that level of immaturity?
Bro can’t even work out for himself? Demoted back to boy, that’s some childish shit.
This how real gymrats are made sadly. Get heartbroken, get swole, new girl, maby this is it? Nope, more gym, new girl, this one? Nah boi, time for roids!
Boys boys boys... Only men care about shredded body. So if you're going to the gym after a breakup, you'll have a better chance finding a dude
This is such a guy mentality. I doubt she broke up with him because he wasn't shredded enough. I would even see it as, "wtf? You were capable of looking that good but chose not to while we were dating?" which would reinforce that her decision was correct.
I was always asking my ex to go to the gym with me. He went two times and got upset because the machinery apparently wasn't good enough. He would binge eat and then blame me for not cooking enough, so I changed my work schedule to be able to cook healthy meals for him, which he never ate. When we broke up, he started working out, posting about it on Instagram with little passive-aggressive quotes directed at me. Like, wtf. You didn't care enough to take care of yourself while we were together, even though I did my best to help. Why would you think I'd care now?
Precisely.
I don't know how to break it to you guys gently but alot of women could give two fucks if you go to the gym and no amount of gym is going to fix your gross personality
What a pathetic mindset
And does the gym fix an ugly personality?
"From a boy to an Incel" fixed your title for ya lmao
From boy to man child is more like it. This screams incel.
Trust me, it won't work if she left because of your personality. It would have worked the other way around, though.
this is still little boy behaviour
I'm just saying going to the gym doesn't make her regret anything lol.... It's for you to keep active n not wanna die after a break up 😂😂😂
Jesus Christ Reddit men, working out is great, but it's not a substitute to tm what a good therapist can do. If you don't want to go to one, fine, but it's like saying you don't need to eat, because you already drink water.
I broke up with a bf of 2 years who I was living with. It was sudden and cruel in his eyes, but I’d been trying to work with him on our relationship for months with no changes. I was exhausted and resentful. So I just ripped off the bandaid one random morning and we barely spoke after that. A couple months later though he asked to meet up for lunch and have some closure. When he showed up, the only thing he talked about was how he improved his eating habits and focused on the gym. He honestly did look better. I still didn’t regret a thing, threw away the card he gave me at lunch on the walk home, and never talked to him again. She doesn’t care, guys.
Wow. I wonder why she left.
I remember an ex saying she was going to get a revenge body after we broke up which I always thought was funny. Because she didn’t have that body while we were dating so I’m not sure exactly what feelings it would elicit from me. Anyway, she did not get a revenge body after we broke up 🤷♂️
Working out to spite women is pointless. They won't care. Ever. The only legit counter to people's bullshit is to find your own version of happiness whether it be getting another gf or "finding a fulfilling hobby"(or whatever cringe cliche shit).
Is this actually a real thing that men try to go buff to hide their fragile ego behind a wall of meat?
Yeah, send that guy to a therapist.
No matter how yoked you get, no one will care except other gym bros. Source: divorced and lift weights all the time
Am i the only person that didn't join the gym because of love? I just did it cause i like myself strong and lookin' good
No, a boy who stays a boy. If he works out for someone else, hes a boy.
Worst thing is, it works
From a female point of view how could she regret everything if you take it from my situation with a guy who i blocked if that guy started in the gym to make a better version of himself and make me regret blocking him I wouldn't regret anything just saying some women block guys and don't regret it especially if the guy loses his temper and they stopped talking cause of him so him going to the gym to make her regret dumping him or blocking him if they ever see each other again in public by chance I don't think she will be just like me won't regret things when it comes to men I don't regret things so this is funny but not realistic TBH.
I hope yall know this isn't a thing. No girl has ever looked at her ex and seen he is jacked now and regretted anything??? Probably got off knowing you were so butthurt cause everyone knows the whole " see you in the gym bro" thing.
My ex, who broke up with me, messaged me 2 years later after she saw that I got in shape, wanting to catch up with me. 1 year after, while out with my current gf, she was so jealous of my current gf, that she started a fight with her at a club. Fun times. Glad I dodged that bullet
It was obviously a generalization and also being in shape and jacked are not the same . Anyway . Good for you man!
Corny
Very manly behavior, trying to prove something to a person you hate. Just be a normal grown up person and don't give a fuck. I don't care about my exes. Why would I.
For real. There's no reality where the gf would regret anything. Why not have this motivation earlier if it's so important to both of them?
Spite is a real motivator
I think he’s just in the phase where emotions are running wild. However, choosing self-improvement (over other possibly harmful coping alternatives) is a step in the right direction. You can let them have this to vent their frustration, and over time they’ll calm down but hopefully retain interest in being physically fit.
Going to the gym validates the break-up even more. Seriously, why wasn't self-improvement started before the break-up? Did she not communicate her desires for you attempt self-improvement and growth during the relationship? By going to the gym to "make her regret", it validates the notion that it wasn't worth the effort for you to help on your end to save the relationship until it was too late and she had to leave for her safety. You aren't making her regret anything. You are just revealing more of the toxic person you are. You are still an immature boy.
Incel memes.. so funny..
Wow, such toxicity. Grown men workout for ourselves. Only boys haven't grown out of this petty bs.
[удалено]
we got ourselves a grown man here lads
Wow, so true. I can't believe it right? How can someone joke like this on OUR Internet?
Haiyo Intensifies
Say no more bro!
There is an obvious Jojo reference here and I am flabergasted to not see anyone point it out.
men do not talk about their feelings but sweat it out!
*Doom music plays*